Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I don't wanna die...

Truth be told, no one really does. That it is why explorers used to waste their lives searching for the Fountain of Youth. For besides the Cup of Christ that Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr. and Henry Jones Sr. drank out of, eternal life does not exist. And even then, they had to remain inside of the temple for eternal life to be bestowed upon them. Since they weren't willing to do that, Indiana Jones got old and Henry Jones Sr. ended up dying. But I would like to live my life for a little bit, and enjoy this shit as long as I am still mobile. So I joined a gym. I decided to start working out a few times a week in a last ditch effort to loose some weight, get in shape, meet a wife, get married, and have some kids. My goal is to do all that shit by the time that I am 30. Cause the last thing that I want is to be old as shit while my kids are growing up. I don't want my wife to have to put the kids and me down for an afternoon nap at the same time. That would suck. So I guess I am putting my sad shitty life story out to anyone who happens to stumble upon this crap, but since Kevin is the only one who reads this, I think that I'm safe from the embarrassment for now. If I am embarrassed that I am fat and ugly, then why write about it then? It's because I remember reading somewhere that writing a journal or blog during this process is therapeutic. For some reason, it helps to put your thoughts and feelings down on paper or hard drive space, because it gets them out in the open. Even if the open is for your own eyes only. That's kind of what this blog is, for my eyes only. Now if I was popular, then I'd have to worry about tons of people making fun of me for being such a whiny crybaby about this crap.

So here it goes. I joined the gym (an Anytime Fitness center a block away from my house) on Thursday May 28, and went there for the first time on Sunday May 30. I plan on going at least 3 times a week, and picked this specific gym because it is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That way I can go work out at 11:00 pm when there aren't any people there to look at my fat and ugly ass. That is one of the reasons why I have avoided working out all these years because I'm worried that people would look at me in disgust and wonder why they have to share a space with me. When I was last there around 10:30 pm on Sunday, there were only 4 other people in there, so I didn't feel weird trying out the equipment. As you can tell by looking at me, I'm not exactly exercise savvy, so it was a little awkward even turning on the treadmills and other workout equipment. I had to read all of the instructions and keep the time, miles and weight limit to a minimum as I eased myself into it. I'm also planning on biking around more often, which is aided by the fact that the Milwaukee County Bus System put bike racks on the front of buses, which should eventually allow me to bike at least halfway to work. On Sunday, I biked home from Miller Park, and although it was a tough ride for someone who isn't used to it, I made it home. So at least I am taking steps in the right direction. The next thing that I need to work on is eating healthier, but I do have to take it one step at a time.

So hopefully I can get my weight back in check and start looking hot again. I certainly have enough humor and personality to win any girl over, but I lack the confidence and good looks that the ladies love. Hopefully I don't screw this chance to take back my life, because I've already screwed my life up too far. I do have a lot of regrets about my highschool and college days, mostly because I definitely wasn't a stud with the ladies. Now that everyone (including those 4 years younger than me) are getting married and having kids, I feel like my opportunity for that shit is growing smaller by the minute. So I have decided to do something about it, and I just hope that it isn't too little too late. I'd like to think that I have at least 50 years left in my life to make a difference and live it out to the fullest, but it starts with me turning it around. I would like to try and chart my progress somehow (if I do start making any) but I know that no amount of numbers can match the way that I feel if I do get into better health and shape.

So who knows. I may succeed or I may fail. But hell, at least I am trying. It's better than drinking myself retarded, sitting on the couch watching TV, stuffing my face with Twinkies and dying a slow and lonely death. Hell, anything is better than that. If good things to somehow start to find their way towards me, then you, my faithful audience (Kevin), will be the first to know. If you do stumble upon this I'd like to ask for your support in my endeavors. Oh, and if you do know any single women that are interested in a nice fixer-upper project (me), then give me their number. Better I get in touch with them now instead of later. Cause later I'm gonna be so hot that I'll have to fight off women with a stick. And they'll wish they knew me when there was just 1 girl vying for my attention instead of 1,000. But that's just me dreaming for now, because the only women on this planet that gives a shit about me is my Mom. And only because she's the sweetest lady in the entire world. And she has a heart of gold. I'm lucky that at least someone cares about my well being.

I feel good knowing that I am at least trying, and 2 days later, my muscles still hurt. But no pain no gain as they say, so I guess the hurt means that I am gaining. Gaining what, I don't know. I've only been doing this for 2 days now. We'll see what happens after a little more time passes. Hopefully by the next time you'll see me, you won't even recognize me. But chances are I'll never be able to lose this figure that has seen me labeled as "big guy", "large and in charge" and "tons of fun." But I guess it could always be worse. I don't know how, but I'm sure someone out there could present a worse situation that I'd be thankful to not have to deal with. So I guess that is it for now, and I'll write something in a few days. That is, if I'm not too tired to pound out a couple of non coherent sentences on this keyboard. Until then - stay beautiful.

- pookon -