Pookon's Ill Blog

World Series of Beer Pong VII - Day 3

2012-01-22T18:49:00.001-06:00

These fuckers won the World Series of Beer Pong this year and I have no idea who they are. The check says "Seek N Destroy" and I found out on the interwebs that they are from the St. Louis area or some shit, but to be honest with you I couldn't care less about them. Call me bitter or a jerk/asshole/bastard or some variation. I don't care. I never expected to come out here and win $50,000 but at least I used to care about the beer pong community. I used to post in the forums on beerpong.com (formerly bpong.com), interact with fellow beer pong players on Facebook and have a vested interest in the performance of the other players. Sadly a lot of that ended when I stopped playing beer pong on a "professional" level with the cessation of our CHBPL league and when I stopped traveling to Madison, Green Bay and Chicago to play in satellite tournaments.

And then I stopped giving a shit about beer pong. Once I didn't care about that I started caring about other things like starting the revolution, becoming a rockstar and finding a nice and pretty girl to settle down with. Ok, so I really only concentrated on 2 of those 3 things. Can you guess which ones? My fist is in the air and I'm in 2 bands if you needed a hint. It's not that I'm not a fan of the ladies (because I really am despite what people keep saying) it's just that I'm dog ugly and I'm smooth like a jagged rock when it comes to talking to the ladies. But that's not what we're here to talk about. For the last 5 years (the last time that I made the Day 3 playoffs of the WSoBP was in Year II, which is thankfully captured on film in the Last Cup documentary) I have known or at least expected to miss the playoffs. If I was anywhere else in the world that would have sucked because I wouldn't have known what to do with my day. But the WSoBP is in Las Vegas and if you can't find something to do here then you are in your room closing your eyes shaking naked in the fetal. Wake up, get dressed and go outside. It's Vegas baby!!

The beautiful thing about not having to play beer pong on Day 3 is being able to do whatever the hell I wanted, which also means that I could finally hang out with Kevin. He got here around 11pm on Jan 1st and on the 2nd and 3rd I was busy playing beer pong all day. By the time that I was done around 6pm I was all tuckered out plus I was still sick. As you saw in the videos and read about on this blog, I still managed to make it out of the room and out on the town, but not nearly as much as I could have done without an upset stomach and blisters on my feet. The stomach pains prevented me from drinking and the blisters from walking, so I was pretty useless as far as doing things. Let's just say the fun police would have arrested me and locked me up for life without the possibility of parole. But I didn't have to deal with any of that today because I had no schedule and to do list to pressure me into pushing my body to the limit. I could go at my own pace and take the path of leisure. Which is probably why I did next to nothing on Day 3. All things considered I still managed to do a lot but certainly not as much as in years past.

I had a really hard time remembering what happened on Day 3 because it was the first time that I was able to go nuts and get good and drunk. I carried about some backpack rum and kept on drinking it even when I was getting free drinks in the casinos. Before I knew it it was nearly midnight. What the hell happened to my day? As I was standing outside the Bellagio during the water fountain show I attempted to piece together the events of my day and found out that it took me less than 3 minutes to recap 12 hours. Seeing as how more things had to have happened (it is Las Vegas after all) I deiced to string together all of my pictures from that day and narrate them. The following video is a combination of those two ideas.

I mentioned in the video that I probably tweeted some things that happened during the day that will help me remember Day 3. None of these are very big revelations but they are another piece to the story. That is why I have provided them below. I don't hold anything back from you guys because I want you to know the story of my life. I'm willing to tell it if you are willing to listen to it/read it. My tweets are a little more timely than the videos and pictures, but as you will see nothing really happened until we got to Downtown Las Vegas (which is the 3rd tweet) and that wasn't until night. So that's probably a pretty good reason why I wasn't able to remember the night. Everything that went on occurred during the final few hours which made it all mesh together into one big jumbled memory. I couldn't piece it together in the video and I didn't take any pictures of these events, so some of the information below will be brand new to you. And like always all of it is true. I have no reason to lie or hide anything from you. What do I have to lose anyway? I'm 30, I live with my Mom and I don't have a girlfriend. It's supposed to be all uphill from here, right?

Having a drink to start off the day and recover from the night before. Hell, it's 10am somewhere. #LasVegas

Double-Double Burger at In-N-Out with Animal Fries. This must be what heaven feels like. Without the heart attack. #eats

On the craps table there's the pass line and the don't pass line, but where is the "you shall not pass!" line? #LordOfTheRings #LasVegas

The machine is made by Boyd. Like Boyd Aviation? It's probably the bypass line. It's all ball bearings these days! #GordonLiddy #LasVegas

Played Dean Martin's Dance Party and got to hear the "Go Go Go Go!" song. It's been far too long. Life is good. #LasVegas

This penguin just got really high and won me 951 credits. I'm not one to judge a lifestyle. I'm for it when I benefit. #LasVegas

Saw a game with a black guy and gems called "Midnight Miner." Wow. That's #ALittleRacist, don't you think? #LasVegas

This Goldfish game isn't very loud. That's because under the sea, no one can hear you scream. But they can hear you sing. #LittleMermaid

My goal tonight is to be asked to leave a casino for being too loud + obnoxious. If I keep drinking + winning, it will happen. #LasVegas

Jerry Avila @sxejerry
Goal for tonite in Vegas is to meet bp legend the iceman @pookondotcom
Retweeted by Scott Iceman Reck

Ah - Glitter Gulch. Where dreams are born and apparently where strippers go to die. #RIPSapphire

I'm at La Bayou looking for Karma to make amends for my wrong doings 2 years ago. If I find her, I will ask her to be my wife. #TooLate

The biggest mistake I ever made was leaving Karma. That drink girl was the future Mrs. "Iceman" Reck. I know that now. #regrets

Huey Lewis' "Back in Time" from #BackToTheFuture is on. Makes me wish I could go back and propose to Karma. #TooLate

I left La Bayou the same way that I walked in - single. Karma is no longer working there. I'll try again next year. #persistence

The body is not meant to feel like this. This is inhumane. I hurt so much that future generations of me will hurt. #GettingOld

Congratulations to Who Fucking Cares for winning the #WSoBP VII. Sorry. It's not me so I don't give a shit. #bitter

Playing quarters into the Bellagio pool during the fountain show. #classic #LasVegas

(Man in tux is kissing his wife in wedding dress in front of Bellagio fountains) Me: DO IT DOUG!!! #mallrats

Yep. It's now official. My commitment to hating #LasVegas has now begun. Fuck Las Vegas. I hope it burns to the ground. #bitter

I really don't have anything left to say about Day 3. I'm pretty sure that I laid everything out there on black and let it ride. We'll see in a few spins of the wheel how I'm doing or if I have to keep raiding my kid's college funds to recoup my losses and get myself back home. I tend to go balls to the walls on Day 3 because I head back home tomorrow. I literally wore myself out by the end of the day and the only reason I sat down at the Mississippi Stud table game was to sit down and rest. I wish that I would have sat down at a penny slot machine instead because by the time 3am rolled around I had lost $165 dollars.

While that sucked a lot at the time it's really not that bad considering that I won $250 at American Idol on Day 1 and $250 on 4 Card Poker / Mississippi Stud on Day 2. By those estimates I was actually up like $335 but I didn't factor in all of the other losses I had around time at the slots. I didn't count how much money I went out there with and I didn't count how much I came home with, but from doing that math I can't help but think that all of my expenses (food, gambling and booze) were paid for by my winnings. I might have even come home with some money but I don't really manage my finances very well. That's because I live with my Mom and don't pay rent. Hell I don't even pay for heat, electricity or food. So money doesn't really matter much to me. So if you want some, come on over.

Well, that may be it for the World Series of Beer Pong VII coverage here on Pookon's Ill Blog. It's been like 17 days since I've been home but I've been some kind of sick for every one of them. First it was cold symptoms, then it was congestion in my throat and chest and now I've got some kind of rash on my leg, my ears feel like I'm picking up sound in a church and I'm dizzy. So I'm running the gauntlet of non-normalcy here in 2012 and I still haven't seen a doctor. That's because my health insurance changed for the new year and I had to call some number and authorize something or other. I know that I should have done this already, but instead I just sat at home unable to move most days. I hate to make excuses, but that's one of the reasons why I have been so late to post these Day by Day recaps of the WSoBP. I intend to do one last video / recap of the entire time out there and I wanted to get drunk and sit down with Kevin to do it. But I have been unable to drink until intoxication (which has been terrible but also may be a blessing in disguise) and Kevin went down to Dallas with his brother Gary to help him move there. So we'll probably do that in the next week but if we don't, this will be my last time talking about it until I post all the pictures over at pookon.com.

Although it took a toll on my body in more ways than one, I am glad that I went out to Las Vegas for the 7th consecutive time for the World Series of Beer Pong. Even though Hummel that Shit! only went 4-8 I promised to come back for 3 more years (VIII, IX and X) before calling it quits. But this will be the last time I play with Hummel. Nothing against him as he was undoubtedly the best player on the team, but I promised to play with Kevin one year and Brodey another. Then I decided that I would like to reteam with either Fresno Chris or Joey Kanz one more time to see if we could recapture the magic of Year I (Fresno Chris) or succeed where we have failed many times despite being in my opinion one of the greatest Milwaukee beer pong teams of all time (Joey Kanz). So I still have something to prove out there both to myself and the beer pong community. This chapter might be coming to a close but the story is far from over. So as always keep checking back here on the blog, the Twitter, the Facebook and the website for details. Thanks for following along with me thus far and I hope you were at least entertained. At the end of the day that's all I really hope for because that it was I set out to do. Take care.

- Iceman -

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong VII - Day 2

2012-01-14T18:24:00.002-06:00

By Day 2 I was feeling better health-wise, but I was still nowhere near 100%. If I had to put it into a math equation that some of you could understand I'd say I was feeling like the square root of 7 divided by 3.41 carry the 2. Since I'm an athlete, not a mathlete I'm not going to attempt to figure that out. If you think you posses more brain than brawn then have at it. And get back to me because I'm curious as to what the answer may be. NOT. Yeah that's right. I went all 90's on your ass. What are you going to do about it? Challenge me to a 1-on-1 game of beer pong? Because you'll beat me. I promise you that. Given the way that I was playing at the World Series anyone could (and did) beat me. But at least things were looking a little rosier on the other side of the bridge on Day 2. But that still isn't saying a lot considering that we finished 1-5 on Day 1 and were losing games by 5-7 cups. Anything would be an improvement over that.

The biggest difference was my health. Physically I was feeling my age and walking around town with little to no padding in my shoes meant some pretty wicked blisters on my feet. And since I sit at a desk all day I don't get around much. I blame myself on that one, but my body isn't used to physical activity. So I felt like shit but at least I wasn't sick. That meant that I could finally drink in the morning and prepare myself properly for a full day's worth of beer pong. I'm one of those people who play better when I'm loose, and to get loose I need rum. And boy did I have some this morning. At first it looked like not even rum could bail me out of poor play. We dropped our first 2 games of the day and our losing streak had hit 7 games. All hell had broken loose and it seemed like we would never win another game. Now I know that I don't practice much back home and that I had low expectations for our WSoBP play, but I didn't expect to do this bad. That's why it was important to win another few games.

I don't remember how it all played out, but we ended up finally winning another game. I went to my record keeper (Facebook and Twitter) and found out that we won the game but our opponents made the rebuttle shot to send it into overtime. We couldn't even get an easy win. So it goes though man and looks like we had to really earn that one. But in the end a win is a win and our record improved to 2-7. Our next game went into overtime as well and I had to hit both kill shots to cement the victory to put us at 3-7. Last year we finished 5-7 and if we won out we could at least match that. But it wasn't meant to be and we dropped the next game to push our record to a disappointing 3-8. It was then that I guaranteed we would win the final game of the year. Using some wisdom from The Godfather I went out there with an attitude of "Just Play" and we won the last game on Day 2 to save a little face and end on a high note. 4-8 was my worst showing at a World Series of Beer Pong but it was to be expected. Sure it hurt at the time but the next day it was a lot easier to swallow.

I had to enlist Hummel to try and help me figure out just what the hell went on during Day 2. Because even though I wasn't that drunk, I was still knocked out from the sickness. I couldn't let that slow me down though because I'm only in Las Vegas once a year and need to live it up for those of you back home who live vicariously through me and follow me on Twitter. Speaking of that social medium, here are my tweets from that day which help to tell the story that my words both written and spoken may have failed to do. I still don't really get the point of Twitter but I suppose for me it is used to remember things and to entertain others. Hopefully you aren't offended easily and have a sense of humor. Because then you should enjoy the nonsense that I'm about to present to you. But don't say I didn't warn you...

@BPONG I want to set up a booth. $5 for photo + autograph from the Iceman. But I don't think I can afford to pay everyone $5. #WSoBP

Hummel that Shit! loses their 6th consecutive game and stands at 1-6. This shit isn't even fun anymore. #WSoBP

Iceman is the worst beer pong player of all time and we are now 1-7. Talk about letting people down. #sadness #truth #WSoBP

It seems like forever since we won, but that's why it feels so good. Hummel that Shit! is now 2-7 and looking to finish strong. #WSoBP

Some random just came up to me and gave me a beer. Free shit. One of the perks of being celebrity. #WSoBP

Hummel that Shit took another overtime to win their 3rd game of the #WSoBP. Record now stands at 3-7. Oh well. #RFT

(Playing against 2 guys dressed as Santa + the Devil) Guy 1: I'm Santa. Guy 2: I'm Satan. Hummel: I'm Hummel. Me: I'm that shit. #WSoBP

Hummel that Shit loses another game and is now 3-8. So much for representing #Milwaukee. Oh well. Next year bitches! #WSoBP

Foreign Guy cheering against us: you aren't going to hit this shot! Me: blah blah blah blah, I have a foreign accent! #WSoBP

Hummel that Shit! finishes #WSoBP VII with a 4-8 record, which is our worst ever but ok all things considered. #PositiveInEveryScenario

I magically found my way back to Planet Hollywood to stare at the dancing girls. It's like I was meant to be here. #creeper

Just had an escort try to pick me up. She wanted me for my body, not for my wallet. She found me very attractive. #LiesYouTellYourself

I feel bad for her. She was smoking hot. She's probably not used to rejection and I hurt her feelings. #LiesYouTellYourself

If the conversation with the escort got into the negotiating phase, it would have been my first serious relationship. #truth

If the conversation lasted 10 minutes I would have updated my Facebook relationship status and took her to meet my mother. #truth

This gems gems gems game was playing this sweet dance pop "you gotta like it when it's gemmy" song. And I liked it. #LasVegas

#LasVegas plays me like a fiddle. The more loud and obnoxious the game, the more money I stick into it. #FIREBALL!!!!

Was having a bad day gambling until Uncle Gary showed me some new table games. $250 later and I'm buying everyone steak + eggs. #fantastic

I forgot to mention that my Uncle Gary drove in from Palm Springs on his motorcycle to come watch us play. I've been telling him about the World Series of Beer Pong for many years and he finally came out to check it out for himself. That was really cool of him to come and cheer me on and was just another thing on the long list of cool things my Godfather has done for me. When the "Last Cup" beer pong documentary premiered at the Times Cinema in Wauwatosa my Uncle Gary not only flew here from California but he also rented a limousine for me and some friends so that we could arrive to the movie premiere in style. That was wicked awesome and even though I was pretty drunk it is one of the best times that I ever had. I will never forget about that and if I'm ever in a position to do something cool for him I most certainly will. After we finished playing beer pong we went out on the town to do some gambling. And although I was content on playing the penny slots he wanted to show me how to play this 4 card Poker game and also another one called Mississippi Stud. Using his money ($100) I made a profit of $150 and he let me keep the original $100, meaning that (for you non math wizards out there) that I was up $250 bucks on the night. Seeing as I already won $250 on the American Idol slot machine the other night, things were looking pretty good money-wise.

I wish that I could say the same thing about my health. My blisters on my feet were out of control and I could barely move. I can't remember a time when I was this physically exhausted. My body ached and it was a challenge just to get up out of a chair or walk across the room. You might give me shit for whining like a baby but trust me when I say I couldn't handle doing even the most menial of tasks. I have never felt like that before in my entire life and if I hadn't have been in Las Vegas I would have stayed in bed all day long. It was kind of unfair because the mind was willing but the body wasn't able. I almost hate to say this but now I kind of know what old people and cripples feel like. It was like I was a prisoner in my own body. When we had cleaned out Bally's Casino of all of their chips (we are pretty high rollers after all) we went over to Bill's Gambling Hall and Saloon for steak + eggs at like 330 in the morning. It seemed like a good idea at the time and I think it's a good idea right now. If I was anywhere near Las Vegas I just might head on over there tonight when I'm good and drunk. I don't see that happening, but it doesn't hurt to dream right?

If I had a reason to go to sleep and rest up for the next day I would have done that. But for the 5th consecutive year (Jesus, has it really been that long?) my team has missed the Day 3 playoffs of beer pong. While that does really suck because it means I have no shot at winning the $50,000 grand prize, it does mean that I can whatever I wanted to do with my last day out here in Vegas. And since I have a checklist of things to do every year I'm out here I guess it's a good thing that I have time to do them. First on that list is to go to the In-N-Out Burger, which only exists on the West Coast. It's the one time a year I can get the most delicious burger in the world complete with some Animal Fries. My mouth waters as I think about it right now, but I'll certainly talk more about that when I cover Day 3 in the next post. Hopefully I was able to recap everything that happened today. If I missed something then it will be forever lost because I don't intend to touch base on this again. Well at least until I do the yearly post on pookon.com. But since I don't post that until September or October I usually just make all of that shit up anyway.

- Iceman -

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong VII - Day 1

2012-01-09T01:49:00.000-06:00

I woke up on the morning of January 2nd sick as hell. All that I had to eat yesterday was was a power bar and 1/4 of a Subway footlong sub. Although I wasn't throwing up anymore, things were still coming out of my body wrong. Let's leave it at that. So the last thing that I wanted to do was get out of bed, start drinking and play some beer pong. I was really slow moving this morning and just putting on my socks and shoes took 10 minutes. Normally out here at the World Series of Beer Pong I start drinking around 9am to get ready for the first round of games that begin at 11am. Like most beer pong players, I play better when I've had a few and I'm a little loose. Due to my sickness and exhaustion, I wouldn't have the liquid courage in me to facilitate that loose feeling. I was going to have to go down this path alone. It was really hard at first, but then I got a natural buzz when we won our first game of the tournament. I'm a firm believer in winning the first game because then it's all downhill from there and you can breath a big sigh of relief. Lose the first game and the pressure starts to mount and your back is already up against the wall. We didn't have to worry about that though. With a 1-0 record, Hummel that Shit! was in the driver's seat and cruising towards respectability.

Oh if it would have only been that easy. I don't know the the hell happened, but somewhere along the way I forgot how to shoot a beer pong ball. You could argue that my lack of practice over the last year directly contributed to my lost shot, but I don't think it's that simple. I do have some video as evidence, but I'm not going to provide that for you at this point. You're just going to go ahead and believe me right now. My shot was so bad that I either hit the table a good 6 inches short of the cups or I airballed it so bad the ball is still traveling. That ball may never land anywhere. I tried to go back to the room to take some shots on my own and I also tried playing against Hummel in the El Dorado practice room. We even played against some other dudes to simulate an actual game but it wasn't enough. I had lost my shot. Hummel was carrying the team but 1 person cannot shoulder all of the weight. It takes 2 people to win a game, which is why it was no surprise to me that we lost the next 5 games that day. Did it suck? Hell yeah it did. It still burns a little bit right now but I'm over it. That's because there's more important things in life than beer pong and in the grand scheme of things none of this matters. God doesn't care about beer pong records. Nor do my real friends. People out here at the World Series might thing I'm a loser because the Iceman has fallen from grace and I'm not the guy from the movie. I am the same guy from the movie, I'm just not a beer pong player anymore. Deal with it pal. By the end of the day Hummel that Shit's record of 1-5 didn't mean a damn thing to me because I had better things to do like hang out with cousin Kevin, who was in Las Vegas for the first time. After going out for a night on the town we stopped to record this video around 330am.

I hope I was able to cover all of the stuff I did on Day 1 of WSoBP VII, but like always this is just a part of the story. This is what I'm able to remember at this point. For a better breakdown of what I was thinking during the day I will provide you with my submissions to Twitter. Don't read them unless you are over 18. Some people just can't handle the Iceman. Don't be one of them.

Getting ready for Day 1 of the #WSoBP. I'm nervous as all hell. Don't know why. I'm not good. Just go have fun pal.

Hummel that Shit! gets a 1 cup victory and starts Day 1 with a 1-0 record. #Rage. #WSoBP

Iceman forgot to bring the offense and Hummel that Shit! loses game 2 to even their record at 1-1. There is no try. #WSoBP

Couldn't hit a 6 stack. Pretty basic shit we missed there. And my looks are becoming a problem. Hummel that Shit! now 1-2. #WSoBP

A 7 cup loss puts Hummel that Shit! into the "let's have a good time" club. Oh well. There's always next year. 1-3 record. #WSoBP

A lopsided loss puts Hummel that Shit on the outside looking in. A 1-4 record is not ok. Oh well. Time to #RFT. #PositiveInEveryScenario

Classic case of "we are who we thought they were" as Hummel that Shit! falls to 1-5. There is no spoon. #disappointed

After a successful stint of #NapAndRally, I'm once again gambling away my children's college funds. #LasVegas

At Planet Hollywood Casino. If I lean forward and peak between 2 slot machines, I can see sexy ladies dancing. #creeper

Just won $50 from the random penguin slot machine. Dolphins may be smug, but penguins kick ass. #animals

Some woman sat next to me so I can't creepily oogle the sexy dancers. I'd look at her, but I'm not into mature women. #cougar

The cougar has fled the jungle, so now I can once again anonymously oogle the sexy dancers. The way it was meant to be. #creeper

These new slot machines have surround sound that vibrate the chairs. My sac tingled a bit. #aLittleGross #LasVegas

The lady next to me needs to stop hitting the machine. Don't make them mad. We all know what happens next. #Terminator #TheMatrix

I got 2 Bruce Waynes and 3 Batmans but the machine didn't give me money. That's not fair. It's the same person. #SoMuchForAI

Batman took $20 from me. Look I know he serves the public by locking up criminals, but do the people have to fund his cause? #bullshit

It's been a long day for me and its 345am. I have to go to bed so I can wake up and do it all over again. With better results. #WSoBP

Someone left some floor pizza outside of our hotel room. The help will probably think it was us, but I promise it was not. #framed

That's all I know right now. Someday maybe the rest of the details will come back to me. But until that happens you're just going to have to go ahead and take my word for it. You just have to damn it! You weren't there! You're lucky that I'm saying anything at all. What's that bullshit saying? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? I could've held true to that archaic and cliched statement and not said a damn thing. But I decided to share it with you. Why? Because sharing is caring. And I care about all of you guys. Because without you I wouldn't have an audience and I would be stuck here by myself talking to myself. If I wanted to do that then it would be just like every other night of my life. I feel the need to switch it up a bit every now and then. You know, to keep it fresh. And fresh is what I do. That's why they call me Iceman. Or some shit like that. I've run out of things to say so I'm just gonna color up my chips and walk away from the table. Stay tuned for Day 2 of the World Series of Beer Pong. Later.

- Iceman -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong VII - Before

2012-01-07T12:00:00.002-06:00

When I travel I always like to take one of the earliest flights possible so that I can maximize my time in my destination. This is a fairly common practice among travelers and I know I'm not alone in this belief. Need the proof? The earlier flights are usually the most expensive because all of the seats are occupied. Since I either buy my flight early or get it from my Dad (who uses his frequent flyer miles) I end up rolling into Vegas around noon or 1pm. In comparison Kevin, Chris and Sara bought their flights about 2 weeks prior to this trip and they wouldn't be getting into town until like 11pm or even midnight. This gave me the whole day to wander around by myself getting into trouble before someone was able to knock some sense into me and say that drinking excessively when you are sick is a bad idea. Even though I had a grand old time, I kind of wish that someone would have been there to be the voice of reason. Maybe then I could have spent more time recovering and less time drinking and gambling. Maybe then I would have been better suited to play beer pong on Day 1 of the Tournament. Who knows man. All of this is now in hindsight anyway. At the time it seemed like a good decision. But I stand by it. Because I had one hell of a time.

I bought some rum from the liquor store before heading out and I had more than my fair share of "free" drinks at Bill's Gambling Hall and Saloon before spending a few hours at the Bellagio. While there I played a bunch of fun penny slot machines. Probably the best assortment I have ever seen. First it was a Rock and Roll one that saw my headbanging while giving the "devil's horns" rock sign while the people in the buffet line looked on. Next it was a swashbuckling pirate game. Then a trip down childhood nostalgia with the coolest slot machine ever featuring The Ghostbusters. And finally I played this American Idol game with two foreigners and an older lady. All of us started with $20 and cashed out over $200, which was really nice for everyone. I'm pretty sure of that. Of course there's a lot more to this story which will be told in due time over on Pookon.com, but for now you have the video of me walking out of the Bellagio with my winnings being excited about actually coming in on top for once.

And just because I love you, here are my tweets from my gambling sessions at Bill's Gambling Hall and the Bellagio. You're welcome. But please use your own discretion and caution while reading. I happen to be a little offensive at time because that's just how I am. I'm not going to apologize but I will throw out this disclaimer because you have the choice to proceed. I will always stand by the fact that no one is exempt and I can't control what I say or do. If it's funny to me I put it out here. Deal with it.

This better be the best god damn 7 and 7 of all time. Fucker cost me $20. It's suckers like me that built this town. #gambling #LasVegas

I'm thoroughly convinced that slot machines are out to get me. The Matrix is real! We are all just batteries!! #LasVegas

I'm playing "The Price is Right'" long enough to get some free drinks but I still think the Price is Wrong Bobby. #HappyGilmoreOnTV

I thought that the drink girl was really keen on me but she only liked me for my money. Which I have no more of. #LasVegas

@backalleyburner I'm playing slots next to Mickey Rourke. He was Pakastani in that film. What happened to Jeff Bridges? #IronMan

I just gave $1 to a bum because he had a sign that said "Why Lie? I need beer." A man after my own heart. Hell of a town. #LasVegas

I love walking through the Bellagio with track pants and a Brewers jersey. It's my way of saying "fuck you high society" #LasVegas

I love being a spectacle. People are staring. I'm playing this Rock N' Roll slot machine, throwing up the devil's horns + shouting. #RFT

Now the machine might say otherwise, but I'm a winner because I brought joy to the 10 people surrounding me as I rocked. #LasVegas

I won $30 on a pirate slot and I jumped around slapping my ass and shouting yo-ho! Creating a spectacle. #classic

You would think I was winning hundreds by how excited I get. Nope. Just a few bucks. But I have more fun than anyone. #LasVegas

I fully intended to walk out of the Bellagio even, but then I saw a #Ghostbusters slot machine. I ain't afraid of losing no money!!

When you're losing money, on the slot machine - who ya gonna call? My boss to get an advance on my paycheck. #Ghostbusters #LasVegas

On the #Ghostbusters slot machine you can make the terror dogs go away by touching them. In my dreams I had to wake up. #LasVegas

Here's a nickel's worth of free advice - never play a slot machine of something you hold dear. They beat you on nostalgia. #LasVegas

Are you fucking kidding me?!? I just won $150 doll hairs on the #AmericanIdol slot machine by getting a shit load of Ellens!!!!

I don't care what the critics say. American Idol is the shit. This slot machine has made me $160 doll hairs so far. #LasVegas

Playing American Idol slot machine with a bunch of Japs. What do they know about America? #LasVegas

I may never leave this #AmericanIdol slot machine. After going up big I'm now breaking even. = free drinks for Scotty. #LasVegas

So the drink girl keeps coming by. But I wish that a sandwich girl came by because I'm hungry as shit. #LasVegas

I may never leave this slot machine. I'm cleaning up like a Spanish housekeeper. I started with $20 now I'm at $250. #LasVegas

When you are up over $200 it doesn't seem real. It's like playing with house money. I'm betting $6 a spin. #LasVegas

You might as well forward my mail here. Because I'm never leaving this #AmericanIdol slot machine. #LasVegas

The hardest part is knowing when to walk away. Kenny Rodgers said it best - you got to know when to fold 'em. #LasVegas

I'm up well over $300 now and at some point I need to stop. This is a lot of money. This will buy me nice things. #LasVegas

After well over 2 hours I decided to stop up $250. I could've made more money but greed got the best of me. But still - $250. #LasVegas

#LasVegas. Hell of a town. Won $250. Got my picture taken with Barney and Iron Man. Drinking in the streets. #Rage

This is just a part of the story but it gives you a pretty good glimpse into my life and what it is like to be in Las Vegas with me. As always I thank you for taking the time to try and figure just what the hell is wrong with me, and if you have any suggestions you know how to reach me. Thanks for the support because I couldn't do this shit without you. I'll go forever without posting anything on here, but when I hear that someone actually reads this drivel it makes it all worth it. And sends me right back to the keyboard to produce more content. Even though in reality I do this for me as a way to look back on the story of my life (I have a terrible memory) it sure is nice to have a little validation that I'm not wasting my time. Because there are plenty of things that I probably should be doing instead of sitting in my Mom's basement hammering out this adventure. But I guess I wouldn't have it any way. Which is why I do it. I'm gonna leave you now but trust in the fact this is only scratching the surface of World Series of Beer Pong VII. There are still plenty of tales to share. Make sure you bring your ass back here.

- Iceman -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong VII - That's All for Now

2012-01-04T12:07:00.001-06:00

Hey everyone. I'm posting on here just to basically let you know that there won't be any more updates on here until I get back home. At this point I've given up searching for free WiFi because I have giant blisters on me feet and a full schedule of walking ahead of me today, so walking will only be done for essentials. And sadly posting videos and commentary on here (not to mention all the back end stuff like formating, styling and uploading that goes on in creating content) would take up a lot of my day. I know in years past I was able to do it, but back then I wasn't old. Deal with it.

So instead of bringing you more content on here I'm going to go out into the world, fetch me a rum and create some new content for future posting. Since I will be back home in Milwaukee tomorrow night, I can start posting the things that I was planning to show you out here, so stay tuned for that stuff over the weekend. Back home it will be so much easier to do, plus it will give me something to do while I am recovering from the week long sickness that inevitably follows each World Series.

Today is hopefully going to be filled with some good times and happy memories. I know for sure we're going to In-N-Out Burger, the Main Street Station Brewery, downtown Las Vegas and out looking for Karma. If I find her, I'm going to ask her to be my wife. I should have never left her, and I have spent the last few years of my life paying dearly for it. So if I come home with a darling cocktail waitress on my arm, I gotta inform my roommate that there's going to be another person living in the house. So she knows to buy more groceries and toiletries. One can dream. Oh Karma. I dream of you every night. How could I have been so careless??

While I'm out chasing Karma, Kevin will be out chasing Destiny and Brodey still has time to hop on a plane to come out here to see if Sapphire is still alive. You never know man. Strippers are some tough critters with an outstanding willingness to survive against all odds while being a single mother and putting theirselves through college. I for one will stand and applaud their efforts. And go and get change for a $10. They need your help. Feeding the poor and helping out the meek and lowly is what Jesus would have done. I'm just trying to walk in his footsteps. You can't fault a guy for trying to do a good dead.

So while there probably won't be anything here, that doesn't mean there won't be anything of substance on Facebook or Twitter, so check there early and often. You'll either roll with laughter or be disgusted. But either way I will touch you. Even if you don't like it. But you know you do, so let's keep this quiet and don't tell the proper authorities, ok?

- Iceman -

World Series of Beer Pong VII - It's All Over

2012-01-03T23:31:00.001-06:00

Day 2 might have been better than Day 1, but that's not saying a lot since we only had 1 win on the first day. But I decided to triple my winnings. It is Las Vegas after all and out here they let you do that crazy shit. We ended up going 3-3 today which is good for a normal day, but combined with our first day record (for you smart people out there) only equates to 4 wins. Last time I checked that's not good enough. But oh well man. So it goes.

I'm still trying (albeit not very hard - I haven't even left the hotel room) to find some free WiFi because lord knows I'm not paying for that shit. I might pay for all of this excessive drinking with years off of my life, but heaven forbid I scrape off a couple of bucks to provide you with some exclusive content. You know that I love you too much to do something silly like that. But someday you will get to see all this nonsense. Even if I have to walk back home to personally show it to you myself.

The day is over as far as beer pong goes, but there are still plenty of hours left here in Las Vegas before we are forced to go back home and annoy our families. So keep on checking back on my social networking sites to see what kind of shenanigans that cousin Kevin and I get into. Some might not be fit to print, but that is where your rabid imagination comes into play. If you can dream it, we can do it. So aim high! Reach for the stars! And let your conscience be your guide! Jiminy Cricket that shit!

That's all I've got for right now because this is becoming increasingly difficult with every sip I take. Well then stop drinking Iceman you say. You sound like my mother. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Time to detox when I get home. But now is not that time! Here is not that place! And if.we win today the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday but as a day when the world declared in one voice - we will not go down without a fight! We will not vanish into the night! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our INDEPENDANCE DAY!!!!

- Iceman -

World Series of Beer Pong VII - update

2012-01-03T16:30:00.001-06:00

Sorry folks, still searching for a free WiFi connection. There aren't any at the Flamingo like last year. I might have to venture out to a Starbucks or some shit just to be able to post some videos as well as an update. But the results are in and they're not good. We are losing more games than winning and stand at 2-7 with 3 more games to play today. So things could be better but I'm drunk in Las Vegas. What more could you ask for?

I hope I can post a real update with all the bells and whistles (as old people like me say) but I doubt I'll be able to any day soon. Cousin Kevin is itching to hang out with me after spending the day wandering alone and my Uncle Gary is driving in from California to come hang out for the night, so if anything I won't get things posted until tomorrow morning at the earliest. Sorry folks, but I have to play the hand that I'm am dealt, to use a little Vegas phrase.

I hope everyone is doing well and that your New Year has started off right. Thanks again for all the love and support and make sure you check out the Facebook and the Twitter for all of the up to the minute results from the WSoBP. They won't always be good, but I do promise that I will always have something to say and that I will do my best to entertain. Take care.

- Iceman -

World Series of Beer Pong VII

2012-01-03T05:45:00.001-06:00

Hey everyone! I'm sorry if you came here looking for some WSoBP coverage that you have come to love and expect from me, but I haven't been able to provide any yet on the blog. There are a few reasons for that. 1. I've been sick since Dec. 30 and exhausted as all hell, so just walking around is tough. But I've also been drinking and playing beer pong, which hasn't helped me one bit. 2. I haven't yet been able to find a place with free Wifi internet, which is essential for me to upload videos and write about my day. Right now I'm posting through email on my cell phone, so I apologize if it looks weird or lacks the pinanche that I'm used to presenting. 3. There isn't really that much to talk about after 1 day (well 2 now) out here because Hummel that Shit! has played poorly to the tune of a 1-5 record and there's no sense in talking about that anymore.

But there are some good things I'd like to share with you so I promise I'll have those for you as soon as I get internet. Tomorrow (today technically because its 330am pacific time) is Day 2 and we hope to pick up a few more wins but the main point is that we are having fun despite all of us being a little sick. Wish I could say some more but I'm tired of "texting" this message and tired overall. Now I'm going to bed because I need to be up in 6 hours to start drinking. Hell of a town this Las Vegas is!

- Iceman -

World Series of Beer Pong VII - Intro

2012-01-01T05:09:00.000-06:00

I'm going to keep this brief because I need to be at the airport in 3 hours for my 9:00am flight to Las Vegas. For the 7th consecutive year I will be representing myself, my city (Milwaukee) and my beer pong league (CHBPL) at the World Series of Beer Pong. Honestly I don't know why I keep going back out there when I have so many other things I would rather do with my money and vacation time. Sorry to break this to anyone who believes in me, but I'm just not into beer pong anymore. It just kind of went away with the disbanding of our league a few years ago but still I felt the need to travel to Las Vegas to spend money and lose. Let's face it - I'm not that good at beer pong. One can argue that I never really was but at least back then I practiced. I have barely thrown a ball at cups all year long, so I can't imagine that I'll be of any good use out there. With no shot to make the Day 3 playoffs and compete for the grand prize of $50,000 I'm basically just going out there to have a good time and hang out with old friends.

So basically I'm going because I'm not ready to find out what it's like not to go. And also because beer pong is a part of my past that still keeps me rooted in my youth. At 30 years old I'm not a kid anymore, but playing this game makes me still feel like I am. Say whatever you want about that, but I guess that has to do with my unwillingness to face the inevitable. I could go on and on about this subject, but that's not the reason I'm here. I'm here because you still care to follow my exploits and I'm going to tell you how to do that. Every day I will have a new blog post right here with a little insight as well as a video to give you a breakdown of the daily happenings. For more up to the minute news make sure you check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman. If you are one of those brave souls who isn't easily offended then make sure to follow me at my Twitter page http://twitter.com/#!/pookondotcom. But make sure you aren't a baby or anything because I tend to keep it pretty real on there.

So that's basically it for now. Hopefully I'm feeling better by the time I get out there (I'm sure that the forecasted temperatures in the mid 60s will help) so that I'm able to let loose, get drunk and be myself at my rawest form. I'm not going to lie - I find myself to be hilarious and when my inhibitions are lowered I just don't give a shit and just go nuts. Get ready for some pure unadulterated content. But don't say that I didn't warn you though. I will not be held liable for any of the crap on these pages in the next few days. It's the booze talking. You're welcome.

- Iceman -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Reck Family Christmas Letter 2011

2011-12-27T14:44:00.000-06:00

My Mom sends out the annual Christmas letter to her family and friends and normally I don't share it with the world. But this year I wrote it and naturally it is mostly about Timmy. Since we can't mail a copy to everyone I decided that it was easiest to put it on here and share it with everyone on Facebook. So here you go. I have decided to quote a couple of songs in this year's Christmas letter. Click below to play them.

I am thankful for you friends for giving me all that I have. I am thankful for everything, and everything you gave me. – “Friend” by Tim Reck, from his album 42 Days (2002)
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As you can all imagine, 2011 was a very difficult and life changing year for our family. Tim’s sudden death in April left us all with a huge hole in our hearts and a lot of unanswerable questions. This last year has been spent mostly dealing with the physical, psychological and emotional loss of the youngest member of our family. But the holiday season is once again upon us, which is the traditional time of year to send out our annual Reck Family Christmas Letter. While it would be far easier (trust me) to skip writing the letter this year, we decided to remain true to our traditions. Timmy was the keeper of traditions in this family, but it wouldn’t be right to stop the Reck Family traditions that I know you have come to look forward to. So without further ado, my name is Scott Reck and this is the Christmas Letter.
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Losing a family member is a very sad thing and I could go on for hours about how much our lives have changed. How much time do you have? But seriously I don’t want to dwell on the negatives because we have seen so many positives this past year that deserve mention. In this season of giving thanks, we want to say a huge thank you to you – our family and friends who have helped us through this tragedy. Whether it was a hug, a phone call, a small gift out of nowhere, money to help with the funeral costs, letters of love and encouragement or a free meal; we have appreciated everything you have done for us. Our support system is the only reason we are able to start healing and continue on through this journey we call life. So thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We can’t say it enough. But this process will be ongoing for the rest of our lives, so keep those hugs and free eats coming, ok?

Right now Kris is happy to be done with another semester of school at UWM. Only a few more years until she graduates with a degree in Educational Studies with an emphasis on Early Childhood. And she is also looking forward to Christmas break and some time off from the kids at Sherman Park Preschool. Don’t get me wrong, she loves her job as evident by the fact that she has been there for 28 years, but when you deal with 3 year olds and the messes they create on a daily basis, you’d need a vacation too. Kris still lives in Milwaukee with her dog Gracie and graciously opens up her home (and refrigerator) to all of her children, even the ones who technically don’t belong to her. Aside from teaching, going to school, studying, writing papers, helping those less fortunate, singing at St. Catherine’s and being the greatest Mother in the world, she still finds time for everyone who needs it. I don’t know how she does it. Her strength throughout this past year is inspiring. She’s incredible, and I know I speak for everyone when I say we are all lucky to have her in our lives.

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James and his wife Melissa have been living in Columbia, South Carolina for almost 3 years. This past May they celebrated their 1 year wedding anniversary. This summer they bought a beautiful house in Columbia. I have been there personally and have inspected it inside and out, and I am proud to say that it is a wonderful place to raise their dogs. Yep, that plural was intentional. They have a 2 year old female Weimaraner named Baya and in October they adopted a 4 year old male Weimaraner which they named Tucker. James still works for Home Depot as a Contractor Services Manager and Melissa works for the Columbia Police Department and at several schools teaching the D.A.R.E. program. They enjoy taking the dogs to the dog park hoping to burn off some of the boundless energy the dogs have (but it doesn’t work) and going to the local pub Schooner’s to watch the Green Bay Packers games. They love living in South Carolina where the average winter temperature is 46 degrees, but they still look forward to coming back home to Wisconsin every chance they get.

Remember when I said Kris opened her house to everyone? I meant it in a big way. I took a few years off of writing this letter to “find myself” through meditation (I am an artist) but now I’m back. Things kind of got turned upside down when I lost my best friend and June’s Blanket band member, so I moved back home so I could sort it all out. My Roommate accepted me and my cat Coach Gordon Bombay with open arms, and although she probably regrets it now, we’ve had some good times living together. I still work at Mark Travel Corporation, so keep me employed by booking your next trip through Funjet Vacations. This past summer was my 10th year at Miller Park and what a year it was. Thankfully the NL Central Division Champion Milwaukee Brewers were able to provide a fun and exciting distraction, but they fell a little bit short of reaching the World Series. Oh well, there’s always next year. I promised Timmy that I’d get better at guitar, and jamming with friends has become my new hobby when I’m not tirelessly working on my websites Pookon.com, TimReck.com or adding all sorts of Tim’s music, pictures and videos to The Reck Room page on Facebook. There’s always something going on in my life and I’d like to personally thank all of my friends and family who have helped to keep me busy.

Jenny is still living on Milwaukee’s Eastside with her cat Higgins. Up until recently she had been working at a Life Insurance firm but she has since been laid off. The economy sometimes hits pretty hard at home, so if you know anyone looking for a dedicated, hard working and intelligent person please let her know. She is ready and willing to fill out an application and interview. Jenny continues to follow her favorite band Umphrey’s McGee and goes to their concerts every time they are around, be it in Milwaukee, Madison, Chicago, Minneapolis and even Denver, Colorado. Music is a very important part of Jenny’s life, and it is something that has and will continue to bond her with Timmy. Her diligence to share his talent and legacy with others is admirable. Jenny has been instrumental in the healing process because she possesses many of the qualities that I loved most about Timmy, and she has become the person I go to when I need someone. She’s the Garth to my Wayne.

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I’d like to think that there is a heaven and that Timmy is up there with God and all the Angels jamming in the Heavenly Band. Timmy loved music and history. Think of all the cool people he gets to meet. One day he could be talking about the Civil War with Abraham Lincoln and the next day he could be trading solos with Jimi Hendrix. Plus he gets to finally meet one of his idols and musical inspirations - Harry Chapin. Timmy is missed by friends and family alike and we will never forget about his inability to take a “nice” picture without a goofy look on his face, watching him play guitar and drums and marveling at his talent and falling for his engaging personality. There are so many things in life that will continue to remind us of him, and I hope you carry some of those things with you. That way he’s always with us. Things will never be the same, but the memories and the impact he had on our lives will never go away. If you have yet to get a copy of any of his 6 CDs please contact us or head over to TimReck.com to listen online. We are thankful that he left behind his music for us to listen to so we can always hear his voice.
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In this holiday season please remember those less fortunate and give whatever you can. I am pleased to report that Timmy was an organ donor, and we recently received word from the Wisconsin Donor Network that the people who now have his heart, lungs, kidneys and liver are all doing well and thanks to Timmy, they are able to spend this Christmas Season with their families. There’s comfort in knowing some good was able to come out of this tragic loss. We have also seen the kindness and generosity of others and it is nothing short of amazing. God bless you all, and thank you from the bottom of my heart. From my family to yours – Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

The Reck Family

It seems like I've been here before, I can't remember when. But I have this funny feeling that we'll all be together again. No straight lines make up my life, and all my roads have bends. There's no clear-cut beginnings, and so far no dead-ends.- “Circle” by Harry Chapin, from his album Sniper and Other Love Songs (1972)
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- pookon -
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www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

The Rapture

2011-10-21T08:49:00.001-05:00

For 6 long months I have been awaiting the Rapture. Now to be quite honest with you I wasn't aware of the last Rapture that didn't happen on May 21st because I was too busy being sad and trying to put my fucking life back together. See since April 24th my life has not been the same. Well that's putting it lightly. To be quite honest with you it's been a personal hell. I lost my best friend and the person I cared most about in the entire world and there is no sign that anything is ever going to get better. I can't get a new best friend. It's not like I can open up a fucking drawer in the locker room and shout out, "Hey bitch wake up! You're my new best friend!" It doesn't work that way. Despite my knowledge of everything in this world coming from shit I learned in the movies, it just doesn't work that way. I spent 24 years of my life forming a bond that could only end in death and that's what it took to tear us apart. It's bullshit. Things weren't supposed to be that way. It's not fair. And it doesn't make an ounce of sense. So bring on the Rapture.

In Theology the Rapture is defined as the experience, anticipated by some fundamentalist Christians, of meeting Christ midway in the air upon his return to Earth. The actual definition is ecstatic joy or delight. Most people know it as the End of Days and the 2nd coming of Christ, in which he promised to return to Earth and take all of his children to heaven and raise the dead from their graves. The World as we know it shall cease to exist and those that are among the chosen shall live forever in Heaven with God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost for all of eternity.

"But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken. And then, shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory."

"And then shall He send His angels, and shall gather together His elect from the four winds, from the uttermost part of the earth to the uttermost part of heaven." Mark 13: 24-27

Life has it's moments and we should definitely celebrate all of them, but nothing is as great as the moment where Jesus calls us back home. Who doesn't want to return to the maker? Even though we choose our own paths during life, it was He who gave us the tools. the talent and the know-how to use all of that for the greater good. We owe everything that we are to God and therefore we must do what he asks of us. I have long since said that I am an Instrument of God. But I never really have known exactly what that means. It is when God uses a person to achieve a result. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing here and I don't know why I am doing it, but not all instruments are played the same way. In what limited time I have left on this Earth I will do what He asks of me, no matter how much I don't understand it.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I may not have lived my life according to God's word and scripture, but I am a good person. I can't promise to be that way on a daily basis but deep down inside I am a pure soul. Kind and generous, slow to anger, rich in spirit and eager to help the needy. Every act I do I do with his blessing behind me, which is why I don't stop to think before carrying on with my day to day activities. Not all of this makes sense, and I am just doing what I am told. In the end it will all come together in some glorious epiphany that will bring about real change and Revolution in this world, and not just the bullshit one that we raise our fist in the air because Uncle Greg told us to. I'm here for real and I'm here for a reason.

“I can tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not rise to meet him ahead of those who are in their graves. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the call of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, all the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air and remain with him forever. So comfort and encourage each other with these words.” 1 Thessalonians 4:15-18

I do hope that the Rapture is real. Well it is real, it just isn't happening on October 21st as Harold Camping predicted. Because that old fucker doesn't know shit. He's like 90 years old or something so he might as well be some senile bastard. Truth be told he doesn't know when it is just like none of us know when it will happen. That's because God doesn't want us to know about the date of the Rapture. If we knew when Jesus would come back to Earth to take our souls to Heaven we would live our lives according to God's Plan. The whole reason we don't know the date is so that we spend every day of our lives as if it was our last and we be Christ-like in our actions on a daily basis. Any day he is going to be here to bring us back home and we need to be ready for it, whether it be in 2011 or 2111. Hell it might not even happen in our lifetime, even though for the majority of the year I wish it would have been.

The whole reason that I wanted the Rapture to happen on October 21, 2011 because I want to die, but not by my own accord. I can't die by my own hand because that's no way to go. If an otherworldly force (like Jesus Christ coming to take the souls of the chosen) washes upon us then we have no choice. There is nothing humanity can do to stop the end of the world so we might as well just accept it. I'm on that train of thinking so don't get all worried like I'm going to kill myself or some stupid shit like that. I do want to die but for one reason and one reason only - I want to see my brother again. I miss him so much more every day since he has been gone and these last 6 months have been the worst of my life. I may never understand why he left us so soon but I hope by the time Jesus really calls my name I will understand why I'm still here and he isn't. There has to be a reason for all of this because if there isn't then life is just fucking bullshit. The only reason that I still believe in God is because there is no way he would leave me here to go through all of this pain and suffering if there wasn't some grand reward waiting for me in the end.

October 21st isn't the Rapture, despite what some old dude says. The Rapture may happen but it also might not. But I will spend the rest of my life believing that someday I will be reunited with Timmy who was and always will be my inspiration for all that I do. A lot of things have changed since he has gone, but I am doing my best to hang on to all of the good times we had in 24 short years. June's Blanket, Godsplash, Movie Night, our inside jokes and laughs, watching you play guitar and drums and thousands of "Yeah Timmy!" moments and how much I wish that I could be you. And you always wished that you could be me. I never got the chance to teach you to love and be happy with the person that you are and never try to be someone else. The reason you were the greatest is because there was only one of you and there will always only be one of you in this world. And even though physically you have moved on to be with God and be at peace, the rest of us are left here dealing with the pain of living without you.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

God is my rock. He stands true and just even when I can not. Andalthough I may not go to church more than 2 times a year or say my nightlyprayers, he listens to me even when I'm not speaking. He reads my thoughts andalways reassures me that everything is going to be OK. And I know that he isjamming out to a live version of The Cosmic Dance. Because everyone can play atune (God too), it's just part of the cosmic dance.And who better to lead thedance than the craziest dancer of them all - Timmy the Kid.

Timmy and I oncedropped our pants in front of a sign that "Heaven is real, so is Hell.Jesus is the answer, time will tell." Read into that all you want but takeaway this one thing - time is the only thing that can heal all wounds. In timeI will be reunited with the greatest person I have ever known. Someday June'sBlanket will make more beautiful music. Someday I will proudly shout "YeahTimmy!" Someday I will cry no more tears. Someday I will understand themeaning of this life. But that time is not now. Right now this Rapture thing isbullshit and life is what you make of it. And I'm going to make mine amazing.That's what Timmy would have wanted me to do. He always wanted me to beamazing. And although I may fall a little short, I will never stop trying. Inthe end I don't really have to be doubly great for the both of us. You were plenty great on your own. But I will promise to be great for myself. Hopefully even doubly great. And I will. I promise that to you brother.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Harry Caray and Greg Proops

2011-05-06T00:27:00.001-05:00

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - Series 1 + 2 - Cincinnati Reds and Atlanta Braves

2011-04-10T10:15:00.000-05:00

March 31 - April 3, Milwaukee Brewers vs. Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ballpark. The 2011 season started where the 2010 season ended. The Reds won the NL Central in 2010 and are viewed upon many to repeat this year, and they proved those people right by starting out 3-0 by sweeping the Milwaukee Brewers right out of town. Despite 2 games that were very winnable the Brewers struggled with closing the door in Game 1 and scoring runs in Game 2. As for Game 3? Well we don't talk about Game 3 and the comical stinker that Randy Wolf called pitching. The Reds totally owned us last year (when they won like 11 of 14 games) and are up on us 3-0 this year. In order to win the division we need to beat the other teams in our division, and the opening series of the year didn't prove that we could. But it was only 3 games and there are still 159 to go, so anyone that was jumping off the bandwagon or joining the Sportsradio 1250 "Done Club" is an idiot. Did it suck? Hell yeah. Was I crushed? You bet. Was I so fucking angry that I thought I was going to turn into the Incredible Hulk? You bet. Did I get over it? Of course. And the series against the Atlanta Braves definitely helped me to do that. Milwaukee Brewers record: 0-3.

April 4 - 7, Milwaukee Brewers vs. Atlanta Braves at Miller Park. Call me an stupid, alone in my principles or unwilling to buy into the hype (but don't call me late for dinner yuk yuk yuk) but the Atlanta Braves are my pick to win the NL East. Yep, that's right I pick them to finish the season with a better record than the Philadelphia Phillies. I think they have a real wild card of a team filled with unpredictable young players that have more potential to win games versus the proven veteran Phillies. Pitching was the story in this series. On the Home Opener Chris Narveson went 6 scoreless but Takashi Saito gave up 2 solo homeruns in the 8th inning and the Brewers lost 2-1 to start the season 0-4. Yovani Gallardo then tossed a complete game, 2 hit shutout gem in a must win game to stop the losing streak and get the Brewers win #1 on the season. #5 starter (for now) Marco Estrada needed the offense to back him up, and they finally showed up in Wednesday's game and the Brewers won 5-4. On Thursday Shaun Marcum rebounded from his 5 walk performance at Cincinnati and earned his 1st win as a Brewer and the team won the series 3 games to 1 against the Braves and things were starting to look up after that 0-4 start. And now the casual fans are backing away from the ledge and jumping back on the bandwagon. Us real fans knew that an 0-4 start wasn't the end of the world when there were still 158 FUCKING GAMES LEFT IN THE SEASON! But the Brewers showed some life and the ability to forget the past and move on. Milwaukee Brewers record: 3-4.

There was a lot of emotion from me in the 1st week as I went from excited to depressed, angry to disappointed, relief to happiness and nervous to balls to the walls joy. I'm such a fan that I sometimes do take the games too seriously and ride an emotional rollercoaster with every pitch, at bat, inning and game. While it is a lot of stress to constantly change the way I feel I can't help it because aside from my family and friends, there isn't anything I love more than the Milwaukee Brewers. With all the hype going into 2011 (and seriously, this team really is that good) and the possibility of winning the NL Central and going to the World Series, I really wanted to see them get off to a good start. And although I know that it is a long season, in the end every game is going to matter because the other teams in our division (well, mostly Cincinnati) should be in the race in September and we need to make sure we have more wins than they do. Simple idea right? But it becomes painful if something so easy gets so complicated towards the end of the year and we miss the playoffs by a few games thanks to these early losses. But there is no reason to dwell on that now, because there is so much baseball left to play and the weather is just starting to turn around for the better.

I want to hand out awards at the end of each of these wrap ups. And although several players got off to a hot start in Cincinnati, Rickie Weeks is the MVB (most valuable Brewer) of the series as he led of the series and the season with a homerun and returned to Milwaukee with 2 homeruns, 4 RBIs and a .308 batting average. If Weeks puts up numbers close to last year's, it's going to be one hell of a year for the Milwaukee Brewers offense.

I really wanted to give the MVB to Nyjer Morgan for his outstanding defense, plate discipline and baserunning as well as showing us what Carlos Gomez could be like, but the award has to go to pitcher Yovani Gallardo for pitching a complete game, 2 hit shutout when the team was desperate for a win to end the losing streak. He also got the 1st base hit of the game and scored the only run in a 1-0 win. I predicted that in 2011 the Brewers would not lose more than 5 games in a row, and they were dangerously close to doing that in the first week of the season. Pitching wins games, and in this series that couldn't have been more evident as every game was decided by 2 or fewers runs.

Next up the hated Chicago Cubs and their asshole fans head North to Miller Park for a weekend series. The Cubs are probably going to be shitty this year but they will probably be a thorn in the Brewers' side because if there's anything I learned over the years is that there is no way to predict the outcome of a Brewers/Cubs game. Anything can happen, and it usually does.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - John Axford (25 of 25)

2011-03-30T08:11:00.002-05:00

You are now looking at the final article of 2011's "25 Brewers in 25 Days" and it features none other than Brewers closer John Axford. After a week of teasing, I bet you never thought you'd see this shit. Well peep this article bitches! This is the grand daddy of them all. I've been hyping it up for a week and like me in bed, I know that it won't perform up to expectations. I can't believe that people have expectations of me. I'm a terrible lover, are you kidding me? Why just the other day I caught a peeping Tom booing me. But you didn't come here to read about me, you've done way too much of that in these past 25 days. Oh no, and since you've been patiently waiting, here he is, the Mustache himself, the Ax-man - I present to you Mr. John Axford!

John Axford is eerily similar to former Brewers closer Derrick Turnbow. And it's a little too eerie for comfort. I mean it. This shit will make you shiver more than when you read a Goosebumps book in the dark under your covers with a flashlight when you were 9 years old. Let's make a list of their similarities. Both are hard throwing righties with a fastball that hits the high 90's who have control problems. Both of them were toiling around in the minor leagues before the Brewers brought them on board. Both have a signature look - Axford with the mustache and Turnbow with the shaggy hair. Both broke into the big leagues in their late 20's. Both were huge fan favorites in their rookie years. And speaking of rookie years check this shit out -

Axford: 8-2 record, 2.48 ERA, 24 for 27 saves, 76 strikeouts and 27 walks.

Turnbow: 7-1 record, 1.74 ERA, 39 for 43 saves, 64 strikeouts and 24 walks.

Haunting, isn't it? And I haven't even gotten to the spooky part yet - THEY EVEN WEAR THE SAME FUCKING NUMBER - 59!! What the hell Axford?!? Do you really want to turn out just like Turnbow? Make sure you consider that after his brilliant rookie season he slipped to a 4-9 record, 6.87 ERA and 24 of 32 saves in his 2nd season. After that he became a set up man then totally fell off the map. Last I heard Turnbow was trying to catch on with the Marlins in Spring of 2010 and was cut during Spring Training. Shortly thereafter he announced his retirement from baseball. Do you see the treacherous path that you are walking John? Of course all of this could change and right now he could take a different path than Turnbow did in his second season. I suppose when 2011 is all said and done I will evaluate this season and the Axford to Turnbow comparison will be revisited. Until then let's pray for the best and that the closer won't kill our team like it did in 2010.

I hate to talk shit about Trevor Hoffman because he has had such a storied Hall of Fame worthy career and from what I read and hear about him, he is perhaps one of the nicest, hardworking and professional guys in baseball. But let's face facts - he just didn't have it in 2010. After he blew 5 out of his first 10 saves and his ERA skyrocketed to around a 15.00, something had to be done. It pained me to watch Hoffman crumble before my eyes as I watched every one of those blown saves with tears streaming down my face. The Brewers had just come off of a 9 game losing streak then lost 2 of the first 3 to the Minnesota Twins. I was there at Target Field in Minneapolis when Axford recorded his 1st save of 2010 and it was the beginning of one of the only bright spots of the 2010 season, the emergence of The Ax Man.

Not to dwell on Hoffman too long, but it's amazing that he was a closer for 18 seasons and racked up 601 career saves. That's mighty impressive considering how closers come and go in baseball these days. I've been working at Miller Park for 10 years now, and here is this list of closers that the Brewers have had since 2001 - Curtis Leskanic (old #00), Mike DeJean, the 2004 All-Star Dan Kolb, Derrick Turnbow, Francisco Cordero, Eric Gagne (the $10 million dollar man), Salomon Torres, Trevor Hoffman and now John Axford. That's 9 closers in 10 years. That's more turnaround than when I worked at The Mayfair Mall movie theater back when it was General Cinema. Just goes to show you that I'm old because that shit has been AMC for years now and that a closer isn't hard to come by. But I do hope that John Axford isn't like Derrick Turnbow or the multitude of other closers we've had in the last decade because I really like this guy. And I know that you like him too. How could you not love a mustache like that? If I could grow a mustache I would totally model it after his for the duration of the baseball season.

One of the initial reasons why I pushed this article back a couple of times was because I wanted Brodey to be a part of it. Yes, the Brodey of Brodey's Brewers Funday Extravaganza and the Godfather of Milwaukee's CHBPL. He's also my mentor and a hell of a human being. And there's also the fact that he resembles John Axford. Or is it that John Axford resembles Brodey? They both are tall, skinny and are professional athletes. And they both can grow some wicked awesome facial hair. Hmmm... You know I always wondered why you never saw Brett Favre and Geoff Jenkins in the same place at the same time. It was always a mystery to me and I struggled to solve it. I even hired Scooby Doo and the Mystery Inc. Gang but even their combined brains couldn't come to a conclusion worth publishing. Then I realized when the Brewers signed Randy Wolf - they are all the same person and they just can't stay away from Wisconsin sports.

How fast can Brodey throw a fastball? In the high 90's. What is John Axford's career shooting percentage in CHBPL official beer pong games? 47.93%. I think that there's a pretty good reason why you never heard about Axford before he became the Brewers closer last year. That's because he never pitched anywhere else. They cobbled together some minor league stats to form a paper trail, and coincidentally Brodey quit working as a bartender and now has a day job at a bank. Clever move Brodey, but I see right through you. Like Batman posing as Bruce Wayne in the daylight, you too have chosen to keep your identity a secret as not to be mobbed by the fans. That actually makes him more like Hannah Montana posing as Miley Stewart. And like Miley, Brodey gets the best of both worlds. He's a lucky man.

I'm not so lucky, because the person I resemble is not attractive, nor is he phphysically fit. That would impossible to look like. But Jonah Hill is hilarious, rich and well liked by the movie going public. He's a rising star in the comedy genre and has a signature style of comedy and delivery of lines. When the trailer for the Last Cup beer pong documentary came out, people commenting on YouTube wondered if this was a "mockumentary" staring Jonah Hill. I had never made the connection before that, but apparently everyone else did. I used to Google search the movie and see what people were saying about it and about me, and there were numerous Jonah Hill comments. When the documentary first came out we did a little "who would play who if this were turned into a real movie." Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would play the villain Tone and John Heder (of Napoleon Dynamite fame) would play Hummel. John Heder does looks more like Brodey than Hummel, but he would probably want a bigger role in the movie than Brodey plays. Despite being the Godfather, Brodey takes a background role in the film. But then I started to wonder, who would play me?

My initial wish was that John Candy would play me. Sadly John Candy died in 1994 and would not be able to portray Iceman with the comic timing and down home Midwestern goodness that the role calls for. So my next pick was Chris Farley. Even though the role didn't have a lot of physical comedy, he (born and raised in Wisconsin) had the comedy and general likability to be the heart of the film. But sadly he died in 1997 and didn't live to play this dream role. My next pick was Louie Anderson, and I even took a picture next to one of his advertisements in Las Vegas to prove my point, but then I realized that TJ wasn't in this movie and he didn't quite fit the part. Plus he also sadly died a few years ago. Wait... what? You mean that Louie Anderson is still alive? Then where the hell has he been the last few years? Comedian and impressionist Frank Caliendo was my next choice because he's also a fat short funny guy, and if he can nail John Madden's voice and mannerisms, then I'm sure that he can do mine. Plus he grew up in Waukesha and I bet he would like to play a person who is passionate about their state, city and local sports team. I'm no youngin', but all of them (considering that Candy, Farley and Anderson were still alive today) would be too old to play me, which is why Jonah Hill is perfecting casting if I've ever seen it. This is never going to happen, as most people have pretty much forgotten that I starred in a movie (which you can buy at Amazon.com or rent from Netflix) and I haven't received a dime for my participation. So don't buy that shit. I don't get any of the profits from it. I'll burn you a copy of it if you really want to see it.

Aside from getting a couple hundred extra Facebook friends (I doubt I know 779 people in real life, and I know I'm not friends with all of them) and getting recognized in public as "that guy from the Beer Pong Movie" I haven't benefited from the movie. So I'm no Jonah Hill. But Brodey is John Axford, and when I asked him if he could put up stats similar to his phenomenal rookie season. But then I figured it was good ol' drunk Brodey talking again. And even though I'd like to believe him, I just have that horrible feeling in my gut that he can't repeat last year. Though that might just be the guacamole I ate last night around midnight after stumbling home from the bar. Axford won't quite fall from grace like Turnbow did, but he will come back to Earth this year and put up numbers like this:

4-3 record, 3.74 ERA, 34 saves in 40 chances, 62 innings pitched, 79 strikeouts and owner of the sweetest Mustache in all of Milwaukee. Wait screw that, he will have the sweetest mustache in all of the WORLD!!

So that's it. 25 Brewers articles in 25 Days. I went a little above and beyond last year's "25 in 25" and you can find those in the archives on the right side of the page. So did you enjoy that shit? Even though it was a whole lot of work, I really enjoyed doing this shit. A huge thank you goes out to all the people who helped me with these videos - Kevin, Timmy, Colleen, Aaron, Lee, Brodey, Brian, Mike Bates and Mike Wilhelm. And thanks also to the countless people who check this shit out. I enjoy writing and talking Brewers, but there is no reason to post it on here if people aren't going to read it. I haven't heard a lot of feedback from people, but Google Analytics tells me that enough of you checked out this blog on a daily basis. This won't be the end of the Brewers talk on this blog, but I'm going to take a couple of days off to enjoy the first couple games of the season. That's right people! The season begins tomorrow March 31st in Cincinati! Now it's for real and the 2011 Championship season can begin. I've literally got a lot of money riding on the Brewers winning it all this season, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered some day. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

Follow John Axford on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnAxford and Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/JohnAxford

Follow Brodey on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Brodwieser and Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636449012

Follow Jonah Hill on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/JonahHill

And of course, follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/pookondotcom and Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

I've ended these articles with a tease, so why should this be any different? I have a great idea for another series of articles called "10 in 10" that should be very enjoyable to both me and you. I plan on starting this in about a week, so stay tuned. I won't reveal exactly what I'm doing yet because I still need to work some things out in planning, but it should be an adventure for my personally and for you following along on this blog. Thanks again everyone, and have a nice day.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Final Bullpen Pitchers - Green, Kintzler + Mitre (24 of 25)

2011-03-29T08:26:00.012-05:00

Yeah I was just fucking with you when I said that I'd have the John Axford article today. C'mon, man! Did you really think that after a week of teasing you with it that I would actually post it? You're smarter than that. But it will be here tomorrow because that is the final day before the season begins, and John Axford is the 25th man on the 25 man roster. I wanted to go out with a bang because these last few posts have been a little underwhelming. But at least I'm talking about the bullpen, right? I mean at least Green, Kintzler and Mitre will hang out with Axford in the bullpen, right? So by osmosis I'm really talking about Axford today. And yes, that is a picture of the Bullpen at good ol' Milwaukee County Stadium. I could have put a picture of the one at Miller Park but I was reminiscing a little bit. Plus I'm watching Major League as I type this, so it seems fitting to go old school. This year's bullpen will be anything but, as it looks like it will be filled with mostly younger guys. If it weren't for injuries to Zack Greinke, LaTroy Hawkins and Manny Parra that will have them start the season on the DL, these 3 pitchers probably wouldn't even have been on the Opening Day roster. But they are, so I have to talk about them.

Sean Green is a decent reliever that brings 5 years of major league experience and is mostly a groundball pitcher. He missed almost all of last year with a dreaded intercostal strain (like the one that keeps nagging Braun like a rude guest at his restaurant) but from 2007-2009 with the Seattle Mariners and New York Mets he averaged a 4.34 ERA with 72 innings pitched, which isn't too bad for a middle of the road bullpen pitcher. You need someone out there to eat some innings when a starter leaves early or a game goes into extras, so it helps to have a guy that's durable to pitch back to back days. Every bullpen in the Majors has a guy like Sean Green. Not everybody out there is going to be a hard throwing shut 'em down reliever because that's impossible. All you need some times is a guy to cover innings. There's 9 in a game, and you can't end it until you've played all 9. All this seems like a waste of space, but it takes one to write about it. I haven't done shit in my life, and if I made it to the big leagues like Sean Green has done, then I wouldn't consider my life the disappointment that it is today. As you saw last year, the bullpen rarely has the same players at the end of the season as it did on Opening Day, so it will be interesting to see who goes when Parra and Hawkins return. I hope that Doug Melvin has to make a tough decision when that happens, because that means everyone in the bullpen is doing their job.

Every year you're going to see a couple of guys like Brandon Kintzler in the bullpen. Signed as a minor league free agent 2 years ago, he's young enough (26) where he's still cheap (major league minimum salary), has minor league options remaining and also doesn't have a lot of experience which he could use to his advantage. When there isn't a lot of scouting on a pitcher, the batter doesn't know what to expect. That's one of the reasons why you see rookie pitchers have great success then get knocked around real bad their second year. And if they do, you can send them down to the minors to work on their command without affecting the Brewers record. That's why you'll see someone like Kintzler or Mike McClendon bounce up and down throughout the season. That's one of the reasons the bullpen door has to be a revolving one because it's always in use and the pitchers out there are constantly changing. If every bullpen was filled with high priced veterans, you'd have no more money left for the rest of the team. So look for Kintzler to be the first one optioned to Nashville when LaTroy Hawkins comes off of the DL. But if you're a fan of his (and who isn't?) don't worry - you're sure to see him back in the bullpen by the end of the season. At the very least he'll be back as a September call-up.

Of these 3 guys, Sergio Mitre is the most likely to hang around for the entire season. Taking the role of spot starter / long reliever vacated by Manny Parra's injury, he plays a very important part in the bullpen. Every team needs one of these guys too because there will be a time when a starter just gets lit up in the 1st inning and the manager has no choice but to take him out. And suddenly you have 6 innings to cover that you thought were previously alright, which is where this guy steps in. His career stats aren't very impressive but that's not what we're asking him to be. His main goal is to chew up innings and keep us in the game. He's going to give up a few runs but at the end of the day he will play an important role. The best thing about him is that he's giving himself a Wet Willy in this picture. Anyone who would do something that looney in ok in my book. Plus we basically got him for nothing. Sure Chris Dickerson's Mom might get upset I called her son nothing, but he basically was nothing to this team. But you have to admit trading him a few days ago for Mitre which opened up a spot to trade for Nyjer Morgan. The additions of Mitre and Nyjer made us a better team, so I'm all for it. Manny Parra is out of minor league options, so it will be interesting to see what happens when he's healthy and ready to join the team. Since the Brewers will start the season with 4 starters and 8 relievers, it will also be interesting to see what happens on April 6th when they need a 5th starter. Do they go with Mitre? Or do they call up Marco Estrada? And if they do who gets sent down? Since I'm sick and tired of speculating about shit like this, I'll just sit back and let it all play out.

When Spring Training started there was really only 1 bullpen spot available, but as you can see 3 players now occupy this "last spot." Injuries are one of the hardest things to predict in any sport, and when they happen it completely changes the roster. Since I didn't know which pitchers would round out the bullpen, my buddy Lee and I didn't talk about them. Instead we chose to talk about a different pitcher entirely. Lee has been following along with this "25 in 25" series and took me up on the offer to appear in the video, and I let him choose the topic. And like almost all the videos in this series, it contains randomness and swearing, so proceed with caution.

These 3 players are on the Opening Day roster by default. Do they deserve it? Kind of, but would they have made it had there not been those injuries? Who knows. But I don't expect any of them to have a full season of stats. But I feel like Manny Parra's injury is going to last longer then they are letting on seeing as he has only throw 1/3 of an inning so far this Spring. Which means Mitre has the best chance of sticking around long enough to put up stats that can accurately describe his performance, so I'm only going to throw out a prediction for him. I could be wrong about Green and Kintzler, because there always has to be those guys coming out of nowhere having an amazing season which elevates the team from good to great. But I just don't see them being those guys. I've watched the team long enough to be able to see that kind of shit. But who the hell knows anymore. I've been wrong before and I will be wrong again. Hell, I might even be wrong about Mitre's stats in 2011:

2-4 record, 4.85 ERA, 54 innings and by the end of the year, like Carlos Villanueva in 2010, you won't remember him nor will you remember that he pitched that much.

There is only 1 more day until Opening Day, and there is only 1 more player left to be talked about in "25 Brewers in 25 Days." That would be closer John Axford. And this time I really really mean it. At this point, who the hell else could I talk about? And who the hell else would I want to talk about? Sorry for making you wait a week for this shit, but I really wanted to end it right. And although this article is massive both in length and in speculation, it's worth a read. But I'm going to let you make that decision because tomorrow I present to you the long awaited John Axford article. I'd tease more about him, but I feel like I've done enough teasing around here. But there is information on how you too can grow a sweet mustache just like Axford. I know that you've always wanted one, and I have the secret. I'd tell you now, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Backup Outfielder - Jeremy Reed + Nyjer Morgan (23 of 25)

2011-03-28T20:29:00.001-05:00

You don't want to read a John Axford article. That's not the one you were looking for. You can go about your business. Move along. Now that I laid that Jedi Mind Trick on you you can get over the fact that I was crying wolf. Deal with it. But I'm running out of days before the season begins so it for sure will be here Tuesday or Wednesday. I know that you asked for it and hold tight, because eventually you will get it. But if you would have asked me 1 week ago who the backup outfielders would be on this team I would have answered Chris Dickerson and Brandon Boggs. Despite Dickerson signing Kevin's sombrero and Boggs being a young athletic switch hitter, both missed out on Opening Day by last minute trades or replacements. That's the beauty of Spring Training because you really can't predict these roster changes. Since every team invites close to 50 players to Spring Training (some on the 40 man roster, some from their minor league system and some players battling to make the club) the team needs to cut it down to 25 by the season opener. Sometimes a player is cut that another team thinks they could use, and a trade is worked out. That's what happened with the Brewers in the last few days.

Dickerson seemed to have the edge on the backup spot because he was on the team last year, he bats left handed (the Brewers still have a right heavy lineup) and he can play all 3 outfield spots. Then he was unexpectedly traded to the New York Yankees for reliever Sergio Mitre, who I will talk about tomorrow when I cover the final bullpen spots. They might have planned on opening the season with Dickerson, but you have to give up a strength (in this case offensive outfielders) to get a need which for the Brewers is always pitching. No offense but I won't miss Dickerson. But I am glad that we are finally realizing that pitching wins games, no matter how much Bill Hall likes to say that he does.

Boggs was signed as a free agent over the winter to provide some depth, which he still will be doing at AAA Nashville. He didn't have a very good Spring, but I viewed him as a player with a lot of upside. But it makes sense that he is going to AAA instead of hanging out with the big league club because he doesn't have a lot of experience, so sitting him on the bench is not going to benefit him. He needs to go and play every day and be ready in case a starter goes down (and I pray to God we leave the injuries down in Phoenix when we head back North) and he can fill in any of the 3 outfield spots. His versatility in the field and as a switch hitter may bring him back later in the season, but for now he's looking for an apartment in Nashville. I hear Mat Gamel needs a roommate.

Jeremy Reed will be one of the the backup outfielders for the Brewers when the season begins. I didn't start writing this article until I woke up this morning, so I don't have time to finish it before I head off to work in like 15 minutes. But when I get home I will finish it. But I wanted to throw something up here for the time being so you don't think that I quit on you guys. I think the Brewers decided to go with Reed because he has played in the majors for the last 7 years (mostly as a backup) and is well suited for the role of pinch hitter / spot starter. How long he will last is the real question. Someone has to go once Corey Hart is activated from the disabled list, and I doubt it will be Mark Kotsay or the newly acquired Nyjer Morgan. So enjoy the first few weeks of the season Mr. Reed, and I wish you well on your way out the door. With all due respect, the only reason that you made the team was because Hart is on the DL and you had a decent Spring Training. But it should have been because you were born in San Dimas, California. That's where Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan are from and where my family lived. That kind of street cred should have easily earned you a roster spot, but apparently Doug Melvin and the Brewers brass don't appreciate things like that. Even though he's not a Nyjer like the other backup outfielder on the roster, I'll still cheer for him. But in 2 weeks when he's gone it'll be a different story.

I really want to talk about Nyjer Morgan because he of all players has the ability to get me kicked out of a game because of his first name. Let's just say when you shout it out loud and you are drunk, you have the chance of saying another word that isn't acceptable to use. Plus even when I am sober and yell out, "that guy has to be the fastest Nyjer on the field!" I will get warned by stadium security and the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department. Even though I am cautious about saying his name in public, I really like the trade for Morgan. Sure he has some character issues and has started more than his share of fights, but from everything I've read in the last day or so suggests that he's a good guy with raw emotions who could do with a change of scenery. If you remember Prince Fielder has some anger issues and gets fired up sometimes, but you love him anyway. But somebody on that team keeps Prince Fielder in line. Now that Mike Cameron isn't here anymore, I don't know who that team leader and glue guy in the clubhouse is. Hopefully someone can keep that Nyjer in line because he has too much talent to go to waste.

I have faith that Carlos Gomez is going to stay in the starting lineup all year, but if you can get a plan B for a minor leaguer (Cutter Dykstra, son of Lenny) who probably wasn't going to make it to the majors, then why the hell not do it? Morgan probably won't get a hell of a lot of playing time, but he's a plus defender that could give Gomez and Weeks a run for their money as the fastest player on the team. He fits well into Manager Ron Roenicke's plan to be more aggressive on the bases and is a fantastic replacement in the outfield if a starter needs to miss a few days. In fact, I would go so far to say that with Braun, Gomez, Hart, Kotsay and Morgan we have the best outfield I've seen in recent years. If this Nyjer learns to control his temper than I think he'll fit right in. I've heard he is very passionate about winning (something that frustrated him while playing with Washington and Pittsburgh) and likes to let loose and have fun, which should put him right in line with the crazy antics this ballclub will get into if Roenicke let's them be themselves. Either way it's going to be a hell of year and it just got a whole lot more interesting now that this crazy Nyjer was added to the mix.

And speaking of crazy, Brian, Kevin and I filmed this video last Thursday after a night of raging. Since we didn't know who the backup outfielders would be, we just talked about anything for 10 minutes. It's pretty random and not safe for work / children's ears, so take caution when playing it. I bet you can't make it through the entire video.

Since I don't expect Reed to be around for long, I'm not going to bother doing a stat prediction on him. And even though Braun, Gomez and Hart should each play around 150 games (or at least we hope they do) Nyjer Morgan will find a way to get himself into the lineup because he's just too good of a talent to let him rot on the bench. I hate to see him get in the game at the expense of one of our regular outfielders, but something tells me that Nyjer will find a way into the game. And it wouldn't surprise me if he put up a stat line like this:

.285 AVG, .345 OBP, 2 HRs, 29 RBIs, 24 stolen bases and be the fastest Nyjer on the team.

There are only 2 more days to go until Opening Day, and 2 more roster spots to identify. So that means there is a 50/50 chance that tomorrow's article will be about John Axford. I know that I've been teasing it for about a week, but I tomorrow could be the day it's finally here because I'm running out of players to talk about. Plus that article is already written, and I don't feel like writing any more, so I might as well just post that one. But I may just be teasing you again, much like I got teased for being the little fat kid in 2nd grade. Am I telling the truth finally? Or am I bullshitting you once again. You'll have to wait and see, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Backup Infielder - Erick Almonte (22 of 25)

2011-03-27T14:14:00.004-05:00

Now that utility man Erick Almonte has been officially named the 2nd backup infielder, I can now write an article about him. That's fantastic. I'm beside myself with joy. Hooray for Hollywood. Except for the fact that I don't feel like writing about him. I did feel like writing about John Axford, but I can't figure out the best way to present that information, so I'm going to put that one off for yet another day. If you're very upset about that then you can punch me in the stomach the next time that you see me. If any of you take this shit that seriously then we are no longer Facebook friends. I'm defriending your ass the second after I regain breathing after doubling over on the sidewalk and wheezing for air. Oh I'd be laying on the ground while I do it on my Android powered phone, but I wouldn't look nearly as sexy as Almonte does in this picture. Wait? Did I say sexy? I meant salatorious. I don't know too much about Almonte except what I can gather from his Spring Training and Minor League stats. Except for a cup of tea with the New York Yankees in 2001 and 2003 for a total of 39 games, I got nothing to go on. He certainly impressed someone in the Brewers organization enough for them to give him a shot, but it's anyone's guess how long he will last on the team.

I do use Google to find out everything I need to know about some of these new players, but if I only used Google Images to formulate my opinion, I would speculate that Erick Almonte spends a lot of time on the ground. Better than spending a lot of time on his knees though, right? But these were some of the only pictures I could find of him with the Brewers, and one of them is in a AAA Nashville Sounds' (Brewers minor league team) jersey. The minor leagues are a whole lot different than the majors because players are down there for a reason. Either they're young and inexperienced and working their way to the majors or they simply aren't good enough to play at the top level. Sorry to say but Almonte is the latter of those two. Nothing against him, but there's a good reason why this guy is 33 years old and was playing at AAA. The best he'll ever do is be a backup / pinch hitter, and I'm hoping that he makes the most of it. Given a resonable amount of games and at bats, Almonte has a career minor league batting average .274 with a .349 on base percentage. But this year he won't get a reasonable amount of games or at bats. The thing to watch will be to see how he adjusts to limited playing time. He's not much of a power guy but all he'll be asked to do (like Counsell) will be to get on base in the late innings, except he'll be doing it from the right side. Will he find success in this role or will he find his way out of town by mid-May? At this point it's anyone's guess, and we'll see how this will play out in the coming months.

All that I could think about when I was looking up information on Almonte was Del Monte, one of the country's largest producer, distributor and marketer or branded food products. When I first thought about Del Monte I was like where do I recognize that from? Then I remembered that it is the sticker on bananas that is not Chiquita. Del Monte makes all sorts of products from canned corn and green beans, fruit cups and fruit cocktail, raisins and fruit snacks and such pet food products like Kibbles 'n Bits, Meow Mix and my personal favorite - Snausages. If you can bag it or can it, then Del Monte probably already does. And if you can't then Del Monte will figure out a way to do it damn it! Their newest slogan and branding on their website is "Let's Start a Revolution." Seriously folks, I'm not making this up. You know how I feel about the Revolution and Starting one, and even though Uncle Greg is in charge of making decisions in our Revolution, I'm going to go ahead and proclaim Del Monte as the official canned food of the Revolution. In their canned foods they want to lock in the vitamins and nutrients of fresh foods, which is why the canned foods have "no preservatives, no artificial colors and no unnatural flavors. Just the great taste and simple nourishing goodness of nature." If that is not worthy of putting your fist in the air with pride and promise, I don't know what is.

It's really hard to predict what Almonte will do this year. It would probably be easier to predict what Del Monte will do in new sales because they are constantly generating over $3 Billion dollars per fiscal year. If all goes according to plan (knock on wood) Almonte will not get a lot of at bats and will not see a heck of a lot of playing time. I hope he had fun playing in like every Spring Training game because he'll be riding a lot of pine in the big leagues. But I still think he will do all right as a pinch hitter and spot starter, but I can't see him doing too much better than this:

.262 AVG, 3 HRs, 17 RBIs, 91 games payed (mostly as a pinch hitter, look for him to start less than 20 games) and not nearly as vital to the US citizens as Del Monte is in providing them with quality food products.

The last couple of spots are always the hardest to predict because guys like Erick Almonte just come out of nowhere and earn a spot on the Opening Day roster, much like Joe Inglett did last year. That is the reason why I save these entries for the final days before the season begins. But John Axford had his spot locked up from his performance so much to the point that no competition was brought in to challenge him for the role. He was basically handed it, which must have felt good for a guy who has fought and clawed for a roster spot on every team he's ever been on. And I for sure will have Axford up tomorrow because I spent all weekend touching it up. I wanted to make this one a good one and not half-ass it like I did all of the other ones. And I certainly am not crying wolf, which I'm sure that I am being accused of at this time. It will be up tomorrow or else villagers will be storming down the door of my castle with pitchforks and torches, but that my friends is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Backup Catcher - Kottaras / Nieves (21 of 25)

2011-03-26T15:30:00.007-05:00

I bet you came here looking for John Axford, but like Waldo and Carmen Sandiego before him, you just can't seem to find that guy on this blog no matter how many times and how hard you look. I'm still tweaking that article so I can't post it today, but I for sure will have it tomorrow. I have time to work on it today because it is Saturday, and I don't have shit else to do. But today I will give you the backup catching duo of Wil Nieves and George Kottaras. That's right, 2 backups. And the only reason that there are 2 is because #1 catcher Jonathon Lucroy will start the season on the DL after breaking his pinky early in Spring Training. As soon as he comes off the DL (sometime in the 1st week of April) one of these 2 catchers will be cut or sent to the minor leagues, but that is a decision that will be made when the time comes. For now both of them will be on the 25 man roster on Opening Day. Sorry for getting this article up a little late, and if you are reading this it might not even be finished. I'm going to post this little blurb and the video and constantly add to it throughout the day. I totally forgot how challenging and stressful it is to meet deadlines and to constantly comes up with new ideas and content every day, and to be honest the lack of sleep I've suffered this week has really taken it's toll on me. I slept in until 11 am (I normally wake up around 730am) then I had to run some errands Timmy style and now I'm finally back home at 3pm to post this. So having said that, he's that little intro and the video for the backup catching spot. More content and the stat lines will follow.

Lucroy is expected to play 4 out of every 5 days, meaning that he will start 128 games. That leaves 34 games for the backup. Last year Kottaras was the personal catcher for Randy Wolf and started every game that Wolf did. Because he bridged the gap between the every day catchers Zaun and Lucroy, he played in a total of 67 games last year. For the most part he was unimpressive both offensively and defensively. At the plate he tried so desperately to bat his weight (190 pounds) and finished with a .203 batting average, although he did hit 9 homeruns and had 26 RBIs. And because he also walked 33 times, his on base percentage was .303, which is normally not very good except for the fact that it is 100 points above his average. Hopefully that means if he can bat in the .240 range he would post an OBP of .340 which would be a very good percentage. But that's only speculation, but we don't have to speculate on how bad he is defensively.

He's known more for his bat than his glove, which says a lot about his defense because his bat sucked last year. He's not very good at blocking balls in the dirt and he's absolutely terrible at throwing out baserunners. He only threw out 8 of 44 people stealing a base, resulting in a horrendous 18% success rate. I'd go so far as to say that I could steal 2nd base off of Kottaras, but we all know that it isn't true because I can't even steal someone's identity on the internet without being out of breath. I'm so out of shape that when I walk out to get my mail it measures on the Richter Scale. The pavement cracks when I fall down and I've got more chins than Chinatown. When I go to the beach I'm a lucky man because I'm the only one who gets a tan. So I guess that means I'm the only person who's not running on Kottaras. But what he does have is experience with the pitching staff because he worked with them last year. Based upon that alone he might have the edge over Wil Nieves.

But you still can't count out Wil Nieves from being the backup catcher when Lucroy does return. That's because Nieves is a career backup catcher in the Major Leagues and knows exactly who he is and what his role will be. At the age of 33 (Kottaras is 28) Nieves has been around a while and has seen a lot of action at the Minor and Major League level. Sure the argument can be made that the most games he's ever played in a year is 72 and that he has only 5 years in the big leagues under his belt. But when you consider that in the minors he has played in 929 games (at roughly that 72 games per year) in 13 minor league seasons he has experience catching both young and older players. You can't teach experience, and although Kottaras knows this staff, Nieves has probably seen every kind of pitcher there is just by the sheer volume of games played in all of the levels of baseball. Even though he's an outsider to the organization, he did spend the last 3 seasons with the Washington Nationals so he should have a good idea of how to call a game against the batters of the National League. Plus he should be a good mentor to Lucroy, something that Kottaras cannot do because he and Lucroy are on the same level.

But how about the other aspects of Nieves' game? Offensively he's probably worse than Kottaras. How can you get much worse than a .203 batting average you ask? I'll tell you. Even though he might have a better batting average (.241 average in his 3 years in Washington) he only takes about half as many walks for a .288 OBP which is only 40 points higher. Then you also have to consider that Nieves has no power (5 career homeruns) and averages right around 20 RBIs per year. So basically he's a black hole when he's in front of the plate. That isn't necessarily a bad thing because the other 8 guys in the lineup (yes, I'm even including the pitcher) should be able to produce all of the runs. Nieves is more of a defensive catcher, and he threw out 32% of would be base stealers last year. He also is better at blocking balls in the dirt and staying in front of the ball.

The Brewers are taking a gamble on the backup catching position because it's really a 50/50 shot. Do you bet on black (offense) or red (defense)? You can't bet on both because then you break even every time. Unless you're getting free drinks like in Las Vegas, there's no point to doing that. So who will the Brewers keep when Lucroy comes off the DL - Kottaras or Nieves? For more on that, we go to our correspondent in the field, Scott Reck.

That asshole seems to think that the Brewers are going to keep defense over offense, and for the first time in my life I agree with that portly bastard. The Brewers have plenty of offense, but they aren't a team that is necessarily known for their glovework. I just can't see them adding to a strength at the expense of improving a weakness. So I'm going to go ahead and say that Nieves will be the backup catcher for the 2011 season. But honestly it could go either way. And even though I've made up my mind, the Brewers don't give a shit about what I think and they will do whatever they want with or without my input. So I have no choice but to present a stat line for both players. These are based upon that player being the backup to Lucroy for the entire 2011 season:

Kottaras - .234 avg, 8 HRs, 24 RBIs, 59 games played

Nieves - .225 avg, 2 HRs, 18 RBIs, 54 games played

The backup catcher isn't a very important role on the team. Other than giving the starter the a day off you never see him contribute on the field because a backup catcher will rarely pinch hit. But he spends as much time studying film, reading scouting reports, working with the pitchers and speaking with the coaches as the starting catcher. But you will probably not see that. But you definitely will see closer John Axford jogging to the mound and on this blog tomorrow. You may sometimes notice when a game is lost due to a poor game by the starter, but you for sure notice (it ain't hard to miss!) when a game is lost when the closer blows a save. Hopefully not too much of that happens this year, but it's going to be difficult for John Axford to match his rookie season. I'm one of those who think that he can, but that my friends (for reals this time), is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Takashi Saito (20 of 25)

2011-03-25T08:19:00.011-05:00

I bet you came here looking for Brewers closer John Axford. I'm sorry, but I believe that you have been misinformed. Cheated, swindled, lied to, tricked, defrauded, outwitted, taken for a ride and bamboozled. This is not John Axford. Unless John Axford is a 40 year old Japanese man. Last time I checked he isn't, so today's entry of "25 of 25" is about Japanese reliever Takashi Saito. He was signed in the offseason to provide the veteran leadership void that was left with Trevor Hoffman's departure and eventual retirement. Even if he can't speak English and uses a translator to communicate with his teammates, he can teach by example and show some of these young bucks how to play the game the right way. Truth be told this 41 year old has only been the major leagues for 5 years, but before he came to America Eddie Murphy style he played for the Yokohama Taiyo Whales/BayStars for 13 seasons before heading West to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers. He may seem old in American years, but in Asian years he's only like 25 or some shit. That's because those people are immortal. He's been around since the Ming Dynasty in China from 1368-1644. And for every one of those years he has been entering games and shutting down rallies in the late innings. Since Saito built the Great Wall and invented gunpowder that led to the creation of fireworks, I am forever in his debt. But wait... he's Japanese and I'm talking about Chinese history, Now I'm getting my far East cultures confused. What the hell should I do now? Moving on...

This guy knows how to pitch and he has proven himself over the years to be a guy who gets it done. And with the Brewers having a bullpen mostly full of guys who haven't been there before to have a chance at getting it done, someone needs to give them the light. But Takashi Saito will do them one better. He's gonna SHOW them the light! Look for Saito to be one of the 3 (count 'em 3!) set up men in the bullpen in 2011. Who are the other members of that trifecta you ask? Why they are none other the Mitch Stetter/Zach Braddock combo against the lefties, Kameron Loe when you need the groundball and Saito when you need the veteran who won't waiver in the face of adversity. I am more than confident in his ability to be a shut down reliever

This veteran pitcher has been around the block, and he won't be terrified and run for his life when Godzilla comes storming into town. Saito looks up at that big ass lizard and tells him where he can stick that giant tail of his. Now that's what she said. But what about his translator Kosuke Inaji? What did he say? If I was a translator I know that I couldn't be trusted to relay the correct information to the person I was assigned to. If I was Saito's translator and a reporter asked him how did he feel on the mound today, I would ask him that question. I would fullfil my job as translator in that regard. But after Saito would speak in Japanese, I would address the media with his response, "Today I pitched like a fairy in a short skirt. I frolicked through the meadows with the nancy boys and ran up and down the hill and danced for joy. It was extraordinary." Then the reporters would look at Saito with giant question marks in their eyes and wonder why he would say something like that. And little would he know that I was making that shit up. That's because interpreters hold all the power. And if I was Kosuke Inaji I would always talk shit to Takashi Saito. That's because I am an asshole and that is what I do.

Let's be honest here. John Axford is not going to be perfect this year. He might even hit a couple of bumps along the way and need a few days off to mentally regain himself. And sometimes he just physically can't pitch because he just pitched in 3 consecutive games. So who will close games in his absence? I'm thinking that Saito is the guy. I don't feel like looking up his Japanese stats (mostly because I can't read Japanese) but in his 5 year Major League career he has racked up 97 saves. At an average of close to 20 a year, I feel pretty confident having him as the backup closer. I certainly feel better with him pitching in the 9th versus the other backup LaTroy Hawkins. Now there's a guy I can't trust. And even though I can't understand what Takashi Saito is saying because Kosuke Inaji is in the bathroom taking a leak, I trust that Saito said he was going to put up these numbers in 2011:

3-2 record, 2.76 ERA, 4 saves, 51 innings pitched and have a better understanding of the English language. By the end of the summer he will know the words Fish Fry, bubbler, Summerfest and raging it.

I mentioned that Saito will close a couple of games and knock down a few saves, but there will still be plenty of opportunities for closer John Axford. In fact there will be at least 40 opportunities for him to run out of the bullpen and finish the games, but how many saves will he record? Is he going to pick up where he left off last year and continue to be amazing? Or will he find out a way to get even better? Heaven forbid he doesn't take a step backwards, but that too is a possibility. The only thing that we do know is until proven otherwise, Axford is the closer. And he better not fail because we have a lot riding on this season. And then there's the small problem that we really don't have a great Plan B. But I believe in Axford and I don't think it will come to that, but am I overly confident and perhaps a little cocky? We'll see when my Axford article is posted tomorrow, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookon@hotmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Manny Parra (19 of 25)

2011-03-24T08:25:00.007-05:00

Brewers pitcher Manuel Elizabeth Parra (born Manuel Alex Parra) is next up in this series even though he for sure will not be on the Opening Day roster. You are probably saying "What the hell?" right now, and you have 2 valid reasons for doing so. First off I've teased for the last 2 days that today would be all about John Axford. I'm going to have to push that back another day. Brodey did come over to film the video but I didn't get time to format that and upload it to my hosting site. So John Axford is going to be featured tomorrow. I'm really sorry about that. I know that you were looking forward to that one because that John Axford is so hot right. John Axford. He's a fan favorite and certainly has more people cheering him on and wishing him well than Manny Parra does. Most people in this town are fed up with Parra and most the most part I can understand why. But as you probably know because if you looked up "individual" in the dictionary you would see a picture of me, I'm not like most people. I still believe that Parra can benefit this team and excel as long as he is put in the best possible position to succeed. And that position has him coming out of the bullpen instead of starting in 2011.

Manny Parra came into Spring Training for the first time in a defined role versus him having to fight for a job and put too much pressure on himself. With the starting rotation set with Greinke, Gallardo, Marcum, Wolf and Narveson, Parra would be the long reliever in the bullpen and be the emergency starter if need be. In 2010 Parra found success coming out of the bullpen as a reliever and mostly likely will never start another game for the Brewers. Unless one of the other starters goes down and there is no replacement for that starter in the minor leagues. With "Air" Greinke's dreams of becoming the Bo Jackson of baseball/basketball we certainly could use Parra in the starting rotation until Greinke's ribs heal. But unfortunately Parra came into Spring Training with an injury of his own (back stiffness / problems) and has only pitched to one batter this Spring (although on the positive side he did strikeout that batter). With 1/3 of an inning of work to his credit, even if he was healthy there is no way he could start the season. He's going to have to go on the DL and build up arm strength and stamina in the minors before making this team and helping them win in 2011.

So if Manny Parra has no chance of making the Opening Day roster, why is he taking one of the 25 spots in my countdown that someone else could be in? Because I rule, I am Lord and maker of this site, Kevin and I already filmed a hilarious video and we like to make fun of him. We started calling him Panny Marra (which was first said by my cousin Tommy if I'm not mistaken) and made the connection to the man-boy Peter Pan. This was not a drunken trip over the words like tacker pattoo was, but more of an insult to a pitcher that acts like a kid on an island full of lost boys and an adult murderer with a hook who wants to slaughter kids. And they call this is a children's story. When Panny Marra comes into a game one of us starts chanting "Panny! Panny! Panny!" and then immediately after the other one shouts "Rufi-ooooooooooooooooooo!" I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a "lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!" on the mound rather than the "boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!" that we currently run out there. Yeah that's right, I picked Rufio over Panny. Even though Panny totally bangarangs Rufio in this scene I would still rather have him lead the Lost Boys into battle even though he tries to shit talk Captain Hook instead of stabbing him when he had the chance. So Rufio went out like a punk bitch when he could have saved the day. But the main reason I choose Rufio over Panny is because I can't stand Robin Williams except in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. But I still am a fan of Panny Marra and I was looking forward to what he could do as a relief pitcher for the entire year.

But even though I like Panny Marra and I want him to do well, no one is exempt and cousin Kevin and I took to the park in the wee hours of the night to make fun of him. I know that I said the Chris Narveson video is the best one, but this takes a close 2nd. The utter ridiculousness and randomness of it separates it from the other 24 that will be here when all is said and done. You know that when you break into an English accent and start talking King Midas things have gone awry and the booze is talking. And that is when I am at my finest. Take a look.

So it got a little crazy there and a little weird. But do you expect anything else when Kevin and I get together and burn words and lyrics. If you've ever listened to the Back Alley Burners (and why the hell haven't you yet?) you know that once we get drunk we randomly come up with lyrics and record in one take, which set us up perfectly for this video. But Panny Marra can't get drunk before he pitches and strikeout the side in one take, so assuming that he recovers from his injury and pitches for the Brewers this year, he will not be nearly as amazing as we are. Instead his stat line will look a little more like this:

3-6 record, 4.41 ERA, 86 innings pitched (mostly as a reliever but he may get 1 or 2 spot starts),
94 strikeouts and maybe one day will learn to fly, defeat Captain Hook and be the pitcher that we all hoped he would be except in a more suitable role.

So instead of profiling a person that for sure is on the 25 man roster and will be a huge factor in the Brewers success in 2011, I chose to waste some time talking about Panny Marra. But tomorrow's article will be no waste of time. I have had a couple of days to refine and for the first time proofread one of my entries and my John Axford article will be the finest one that I've ever written. And now that I have the video to go with it (which was the icing on the cake the entire time) all of the ingredients are in place to bake one seriously delicious cake. Right now we stand 7 days (or a week for the lay person) away from the start of the season, and the final few roster spots are as difficult to predict as it is to say when I am going to settle down and start a family. Ok, nothing is that difficult because I will name those final 7 players but I will never find a woman willing to let me impregnate her. So check back tomorrow for my article on John Axford. It will be as sweet as the last Friday before Opening Day is. You'll see. It will be epic, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

-pookon-

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Zach Braddock (18 of 25)

2011-03-23T08:33:00.002-05:00

I know that you came here expecting a John Axford article. First off let me apologize and also tell you to settle the fuck down. I had written the entire article but I had yet to film the video. You can blame Brodey bailing on me yet again for that one. I will try again tomorrow. So for today we are going to focus on the next player in the bullpen, lefthanded pitcher Zach Braddock. The problem is that the last few bullpen spots are still up for grabs even though we are 8 days from Opening Day. Manny Parra and LaTroy Hawkins might start the season on the DL, and Braddock is having a pretty poor spring with a 9.39 ERA, although he has been pitching better as of late. As the situational lefty in the bullpen (a role that was played to perfection in 2009 by Mitch Stetter, who I will be talking about in a few minutes) in 2010, Braddock was fantastic with a 2.94 ERA over 33.2 innings and 41 strikeouts. Spring Training statistics shouldn't really count for much, but when that's all that you have to go on, you have to make a choice. The way that I see it, 3 scenarios could play out - Zach Braddock makes the team as the lefty in the bullpen, Mitch Stetter makes the team as the lefty in the bullpen and Zach Braddock and Mitch Stetter both make the bullpen because their lefty competition (Manny Parra) starts the season on the DL. It's anyone's guess at this point, but I'm running out of guaranteed 25 man roster players to talk about. So the remaining articles (apart from Axford and Takashi Saito) are all TBA, so I'm left with no choice but to speculate that Braddock will open the season with the team.

If Braddock is on the roster on March 31st then he will be the youngest player on the team at the age of 23. And that made me think. I'm 29 now (30 in less than 2 months) so I started to think about what the hell I was doing when I was 23. In the summer of 2004 I was actually pretty busy working 3 jobs. In fact, it was probably the best summer of my entire life. How can working all the time at 3 different jobs be the best? I'll tell you. It's when those 3 jobs are working at UWM, Miller Park and Alpine Valley. All of my jobs were amazing, and I had some wicked awesome hair at the time. At UWM I got to hang out with my friends and get free food. And Miller Park I got to hang out with my friends and watching baseball games. And at Alpine Valley I got to hang out backstage with my friends and listen to concerts. Plus there were hot chicks all over the place at all 3 jobs that I flirted with all day. This was back before I ballooned out of shape and I was reasonably attractive versus the monster I've become today. Back when I was 23 I was still in college and I was really living the dream. True this was before the World Series of Beer Pong, but it was back when the CHBPL was in it's infancy and it was just a close knit group of friends goofing around. Life was good back then and it seemed like the whole world was in front of me. And I was more than willing to try to take it on.

And then that bastard (remember how I'm supposed to be talking about Zach Braddock?) goes and changes his jersey number in the offseason. How frustrating is that? It means that everyone who bought a #13 Braddock jersey last year now has to go out and purchase a #21 Braddock this year! Jesus man! What the hell? Do you think we are made of money? I can't keep up with you and your meaningless number changes. Pick one and stick with it so I don't walk around town looking like an idiot because my jersey is wrong. Wait a second.... I don't own a Zach Braddock jersey. And neither does anyone else in town. Braddock is the only one rocking that one. And if there happens to be another person in town who owns one, they can afford to buy a new one. Look, if you have a jersey of the situational lefty in the bullpen that means you already have the other 24 players on the roster. And at $149 a pop, your rich ass can buy another one.

So why the hell did I bitch about that anyway? Because I happen to own a Manny Parra #43 jersey. Parra now wears #26. And despite owning more jerseys than there are players on the Opening Day roster, I am nowhere near being rich. Nor will I ever be. I don't know why I'll never be a wealthy man, but I think buying a Manny Parra jersey has something to do with it. Who does that? So as you can see once again I have nothing to say about a player so I said a lot of things about myself instead. But I still had to do a video because I promised a new one every day. My best friend Mike Bates was in town from Northern Minnesota for his son's (my Godson's) baptism, so we went out for St. Patrick's Day. After staying out until bar close we decided to sit down at 3am and try to recount the events of that night instead of talking about Zach Braddock. Because (no offense) who really wants to talk about Braddock?

So that's what we did on St. Patrick's Day, but what will Mitch Stetter or Zach Braddock do in 2011? I feel like both of these pitchers are interchangeable, so it all depends on which one is more effective. Both of them have minor league options remaining, so it wouldn't surprise me to see one get sent down and the other get called up at various times during the season. Mitch Stetter was the man in 2009 and Zach Braddock was the man in 2010, but which one will reign supreme in 2011? It's hard to tell right now because they both have had the same amount of Major League experience and Spring Training numbers are hard to judge. But I could see both of them putting up a stat line like this:

1-1 record, 2.97 ERA, 54 games but only 41 innings, 49 strikeouts and hopefully make a bigger impression on me so I will talk more about them and less about myself next year.

One player that shouldn't have to worry about being sent down to the minors is closer John Axford. I will be talking about him tomorrow, and this time I mean it. I've already made the comparisons to Derrick Turnbow, but did you know he resembles my friend Brodey as well? It's not a great resemblance, but it's in the same way to people say that I look like Jonah Hill. Read all about that and more in tomorrow's "25 Brewers in 25 Days" entry. That is providing that the "Godfather" isn't too much of a local celebrity to hang out with the people who knew him when he was Brodey and what his real name is. He doesn't go by Brodey because his parents were big fans of Chief Martin Brody in the movie Jaws. And it also isn't because they loved Indiana Jones' archeologist friend Marcus Brody. And it also isn't because he loved Brodie from Mallrats when he was in his early teens. None of those guys even spell the name the same. It's an interesting story, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - LaTroy Hawkins (17 of 25)

2011-03-22T08:24:00.007-05:00

LaTroy Hawkins is old and I wish I could say that his body just broke down last year. That wasn't the case though because he hurt his shoulder and the rest of the body was fine. He tried to rehab it through rest and mall-walking, but he eventually had rotator cuff surgery in August to repair his busted up shoulder. 2010 was a lost year thanks to his shoulder and his numbers weren't pretty. He only pitched 16 innings and was just about as bad as he could be: 0-3 record with a 8.44 ERA. You could tell that something was wrong with him because over the past 8 years (despite being in his mid to upper 30's) he averaged a 3.05 ERA which is pretty damn good for any relief pitcher, let alone someone of his age.

Look at me talking about him like he's 90 and he fell in the driveway and broke his hip while walking to the mailbox one morning. 39 is not that old. It used to be when I was younger but in 6 weeks I'll be 30 and less than a decade away from being Hawkins' age. Of course though when I'm 39 he'll be 49 and that's old as shit. If Hawkins is still playing baseball when he's 49 then I will serious ask myself what the hell I did with my life because at 49 I'll be feeling so old I wont even be able to watch baseball without my body hurting. That's if things continue to go the way they currently are. I feel so much older than I actually am, but like everything else that has gone wrong in my life, I also blame the booze for this one as well.

And that's all that I really have to say about LaTroy Hawkins. I could throw some more old jokes out there but I used them all up talking about Gregg Zaun last year. Remember that guy? Hell of a signing that was. I'm all about signing veteran players because they have the experience that these young kids lack and they hopefully won't buckle under the pressure of a pennant chase and the big moments where they have to be clutch because the game or even the season is on the line. But I'm not all about giving them a two year contract worth $7 million dollars. That's a lot of doll hairs for what Hawkins gave us last year, so he has a lot of catching up to do if he will at least be able to come close to being worth that deal. Cousin Kevin and I came up with some very interesting things to say about and to LaTroy Hawkins if he happens to watch this video. For the safety and well being of myself and my family I hope that he does not watch it.

If you've been following along with this years "25 Brewers in 25 Days" then you might question why I love this team because all I do is make fun of every player on the team. But it's all out of love and I suppose that is just something that I do. Ask any of my friends or family and they will tell you that I make fun of them constantly. Maybe I'm just a dick and that's why no women find me attractive. I would change my life Ebenzer Scrooge-style but what's the fucking point anymore. No one cares about me like no one cares about LaTroy Hawkins. I bet there are some people out there rooting for me to fail so that they can get vengeance from me screwing them over and talking shit about them, just like I'm hoping the failure of Hawkins will prevent the Brewers from giving 2 year contracts to aging relievers in the future. If Hawkins weren't making so much money and if the Brewers weren't trying to recuperate something from the 2 year contract, he'd be cut long before he could put up this 2011 stat line:

1-4 record, 4.78 ERA, 53.2 innings, 39 strikeouts and be just as terrifying to watch as the Izey Bird in Cass Street Park.

I'm not looking forward to watching LaTroy Hawkins in 2011. He could defy my expectations and have a great year. But we do know that the as long as he is healthy the Brewers will keep running him out there until he is Jeff Suppan bad and they have no choice but to cut him and eat the remainder of his contract. But one player that I am excited to watch is Brewers closer John Axford. I feel like I've seen this guy before. Hard throwing righty. Battled control problems in the minors. Bounced around from team to team. Signed by the Brewers. Signature hair. Closer. Yeah I'm talking about Derrick Turnbow. The Brewers are putting a lot of faith in Axford that he doesn't turn out like Turnbow, but like all things only time will tell on this one. But like Turnbow before him I'm going to sit back and enjoy the ride because Axford is a guy that has a great personality and makes the games exciting. But does that make him a great pitcher on a playoff contending team? I'm not sure, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Kameron Loe (16 of 25)

2011-03-21T08:21:00.010-05:00

Brewers pitcher Kameron Loe does draw comparisons to the Addams' Family butler Lurch. At 6'8" Loe is the tallest and most intimidating force in the bullpen. Lurch is pretty intimidating himself and most like will scare the bejesus out of representatives from the Church of Latter Day Saints when the come door to door looking to spread the good word and collect donations. Lurch would scare them Lutheran. When Loe stands on the mound he gains 10 inches, putting him at an impressive 7'6" of pitching dominance. It's not too hard to throw pitches on a downward plane from that height to induce ground balls, but you still need to have control to be able to locate your pitches effectively. Lurch was 6'9" tall and stands a full inch taller than Kameron Loe, but I doubt that he could strike out Aramis Ramirez. He could probably break him in half because Lurch was some kind of monster or some shit, but I don't think Major League baseball would allow a pitcher to rip people in half as a way of getting them out. That's the kind of plate appearance that would land you on the permanent DL.

So it takes more than just being tall to pitch a baseball, just like just being tall does not make you good at basketball. Sure it helps, but you also need to have talent and athletic skill. In 58 innings in 2010 Loe struck out 46 batters and walked 15. Now I'm no math whiz or anything, but that looks like a 3:1 ratio, which is pretty damn good if you ask me. And that doesn't take into effect the number of times that he got a hitter to ground out or hit into a double play. There is a stat for that somewhere because there is a stat for everything in major league baseball. If I wanted to find out Kameron Loe's ERA in Miller Park weekday day games when the temperature was below 65 degrees and the roof was closed and the circus was in town and the vending machine was out of Snickers bars that day and he showered that morning and he took the side streets to Miller Park instead of the freeway on days when he was wearing a black undershirt I could find that information out. But that's not why you come to a site like this. You come here because I say that Kameron Loe looks like Lurch from the Addams Family. Now that's some hardcore journalism and sports analysis that you won't get anywhere else. I promise you that.

Kameron Loe was part of the bullpen shakeup that took place in May that saw guys like Claudio Vargas get cut, LaTroy Hawkins go on the DL and guys like Mitch Stetter get sent to the minors. When Loe arrived with Axford and Braddock the bullpen started to take shape and everyone assumed their roles. Despite another year in which the bullpen was overworked due to short games by the starting pitchers, the bullpen was once again a strength of this team. And the guys that made it a strength are returning for another year.

Kameron Loe is very important to the bullpen because he will serve as one of the set up men to closer John Axford. Along with Takashi Saito and and the situational lefty Zach Braddock / Mitch Stetter (depending on which one makes the roster out of Spring Training) he will be bridging the gap from starter to closer and I for one am more than happy to have him there. You need a guy who is going to be able to pitch a couple of times a week and be effective when he does. Guys like that, the "workhorse" are tough to find. Todd Coffey was that man the last few years but unfortunately he was due to make more money in 2011. Since the majority of the budget is going to starting pitching and Prince Fielder, younger cheaper minor league players have to step up and take on that role for a fraction of the cost. It did help that Loe performed well last year so that we were comfortable letting Coffey go. But can he repeat in 2011? "I hope so" (with fingers crossed.)

With injuries to Greinke, Marcum and Parra the Brewers have only 3 healthy starters as it stands today. Greinke and Parra will open the season on the DL but Marcum looks to be good to go. But we do need to find a 5th starter before the season opens in 10 days. One named tossed into the hat was Kameron Loe because he has previously started games in both the majors and the minors. But manager Ron Roenicke instantly dismissed the idea because he believe Loe is too valuable as a relief pitcher. There is this saying that no pitcher wants to be a reliever, they just fell into that role because they couldn't cut it as a starter. Kameron Loe seems to have found his role as a shutdown reliever which is sometimes harder to find than a starter who can go 6 innings and have a 4 ERA. Just look at Manny Parra's performance as a starter vs. a reliever and you could have another case where someone just isn't cut out to start games at the major league level. Here's hoping that Kameron Loe continues to excel as a reliever and puts up numbers similar to this in 2011:

2-3 record, 3.16 ERA, 64 innings pitched, 52 strikeouts and he will answer the door at the Addams Family mansion when when friends and family like Cousin IT come to visit. Now if only Loe would play the Miller Park organ then I would know that he really was Lurch masquerading as a Major League pitcher.

We all hope that Kameron Loe has a 2011 season that is comparable to the 2010 one that he had. The same can't be said for veteran reliever LaTroy Hawkins. In the winter of '09 signing Hawkins to a 2 year contract was a bit of a head scratcher to me. And my worst fears came to life as Hawkins only pitched in 18 games in 2010 while sitting back and collecting a paycheck the other 144 games. He's supposedly healthy in 2011 after having shoulder surgery in August last year, but he has yet to appear in a Spring Training game in 2011. That doesn't matter because money talks, and his $3.25 million dollar salary in 2011 says that he needs to at least try to help us win games. How effective will this 39 year old be? Is he fully recovered from his injury? Does anyone even give a shit? Is the sasquatch just a blurry creature and there's nothing wrong with the cameras that have tried to capture his image? Will I answer all of these questions and more tomorrow? Are you even reading this crap anymore? Who knows, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Mark Kotsay (15 of 25)

2011-03-20T11:16:00.011-05:00

I didn't have anything to say about Brewers back-up outfielder Mark Kotsay last night, so I went to sleep. I had night terrors like my brother Timmy does and I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. Even though I dreamnt up some really scary ass shit that I don't wish upon anymore, it still did not provide me with any material to put here today. Even though I woke up this morning and "got inspired" and my mind is now racing with ideas, I still cannot come up with something relevant to say about the Brewers new back-up player. I even put my shirt and pants on backwards Kris-Kross style then walked backwards so that I would be the one backing-up. But since my clothes were on backwards, it looked like I was walking forwards, so I have no way to connect with a backwards person. With the starting players I can go on for hours. That goes with the whole forward thinking aspect. I don't think in the past. That's improbable. I don't live in the past. That's intentional. And I also don't travel back to the past. That's impossible. I don't own or lease one of Doc Brown's DeLorean Time Travel machines. So unless my name is Dr. Sam Beckett and I take a quantum leap back into the past, I cannot backup in time. Sorry for wasting time that neither you nor I can go back and recover, but I felt like I needed to make you understand that I do not know much about the backups, but I know I love them. And that may be, all I need to to know.

So what do people do when they don't know something? I used to ask my Dad because he's pretty book smart. If he doesn't know then I ask my Mom because she's both booksmart and street smart. But since I'm no longer 12 years old and I know other people and have access to the internet, I use the Google on the internet machine that everyone except Chazz Michael Michaels knows how to do. And every time I Google an athlete that I need info / a picture on, I find a picture of their hot wife / girlfriend. And then I get upset and wonder what the hell am I doing wrong where I don't have a hot wife / girlfriend. Then I remember that I am not smart, not good looking, not physically fit, not rich, not professional and not an athlete. So basically I have no chance at all of landing a smoking hot wife / girlfriend. Or any wife / girlfriend for that matter. So I'm just going to get old and die alone because women don't like me. Makes a guy want to turn gay right? But I can't, not because there's anything wrong with being gay, but what's the point of being gay if even guys don't find me attractive. And then there's the small fact that I love women. So whereas Mark Kotsay gets to hit for the cycle with this fine piece of ass, I cozy up to the liquor bottle and cry myself to passing out.

If there was a fight between Zack Greinke's wife Emily and Mark Kotsay's wife Jamie not only would I watch it, but I would also root for Jamie. You saw a picture I put up of Mrs. Social Anxiety and just try to compare her to this fine specimine. To me it's no contest, but then again this may be one of those beauty is in the eye of the beerholder kind of things. Just like Oscar the Grouch lives in treasure that is another man's trash, what I like may not be the same as what other people like. But I do know that Mark Kotsay and I have 2 of the same likes in common - baseball and his wife. I don't know yet if I want to watch Mark Kotsay back-up Braun, Gomez and Hart in the outfield, but I already know that I would watch Jamie Kotsay back that thang up on anything or anyone, though I would say that I want it to be me rather than Mark. But some guys have all the luck and get all of the rewards that come with hitting the jackpot. Although I'm not a winner, at least I still have my health, right? Well not really. But at least I still have my sense of humor!

They say that girls love a guy with a sense of humor, but it's obvious from this video that I have a lot of other issues going on in my life right now that I should probably deal with before worrying about all the issues of being in a relationship. But Mark Kotsay doesn't have to worry about much. He'll be lucky to start 1 game a week in one of the 3 outfield spots (though he might be in the lineup on Opening Day if Corey Hart opens the season on the DL) so he doesn't need to worry about defense and 4 at bats per game. He does need to be ready to pinch hit, but because he is also a lefty like Craig Counsell, he will be called on in pinch hitting situations to drive in runs instead of getting on base. He has more more power than Counsell, but that's not saying much because babies have more power than Counsell.

But he is comparable to Counsell in the fact that he too brings veteran leadership and postseason experience to what is still a relatively young team. Yeah I know that the majority of the homegrown Brewers talent is now in their prime in their late 20's, but from an experience point they are still young. 1 postseason appearance in 5 years? And only 1 win during that series? That ain't shit. And that's coming from a guy who has no experience at all. The 2011 season will be the most difficult season thus far thanks to the preseason injuries and expectations. They will need some quality clubhouse "glue" players to keep them focused and level headed during all of the ups and downs of the season. They've suffered through too many injuries already this spring and you haven't seen anyone panic. A lot of that has to do with it only being March, but I'd like to think that veteran players like Counsell and Kotsay are already helping to calm the team down. And I'll be calm if he puts together a season like this:

.263 AVG, .330 OBP, 5 HRs, 33 RBIs and his wife will get creepy oogled by me on the club level when she sits up there with the other player's wives. I can't help it. I'm lonely.

And speaking of creepy, the next player is only creepy because he's big and scary looking like Lurch on the Addams Family. Lurch answers the door when someone comes calling at the house. Relief pitcher Kameron Loe answers the call to come into the game when manager Ron Roenicke makes the U.S. Cellular call to the bullpen. The Addams Family does not have a lot of guests at their house because they are a bunch of weirdos, but Kameron Loe will see a lot of playing time because he is the new Todd Coffey and will be the go-to guy when the Brewers need to get a ground ball out or a double play. In 2010 he was second in appearances only to the previously mentioned Coffey and will be counted upon to lead the team in 2011 now that the hot Coffey is served sprinting out of the Washington Nationals bullpen. Loe had a fantastic 2010, but will his ERA get low, get low, get low again in 2011? I see no reason why it can't, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Craig Counsell (14 of 25)

2011-03-19T10:15:00.000-05:00

Brewers infielder Craig Counsell is extremely important to the team in 2011, much like he has been in the past few seasons. His presence on and off the field is invaluable to a team that is looking to make a push for the division title and a playoff appearance. Every team needs veteran leadership and Counsell is the man for the job. His versatility in the infield allows him to play 2nd or 3rd base when Rickie Weeks and Casey McGegehee need to take a day off. Since that's only going to happen a total of like 10 times between the two of them, Counsell's ability to also play shortstop is what is going to get him in the lineup the most. Much has been said of Yuniesky Betancourt's defensive woes, and unless he does a 180 and figures out how to not be terrible with the glove, Counsell will be the semi regular shortstop on this team. I know that Counsell doesn't want to play every day. That's not to say that he doesn't have the tools and talent or the desire to play, but it's an indication that he knows what his role on this team is. He's the back-up infielder and pinch hitter off of the bench. If he's in the starting lineup 4 days a week that means that one of the everyday players is out of the lineup due to injury or ineffectiveness. And Counsell has been around the block long enough to know that Casey McGehee, Rickie Weeks and yes, even Yuniesky Betancourt are better everyday options than he is.

And that doesn't mean that Counsell can't still play or that he is not capable of producing when he is on the field. But let's face it, he's 40 years old and he's not getting any younger. And even though he's in pretty damn good shape, that doesn't stop the fact that old just catches up with you. I'm not one to talk though because I know that he's in a hell of a lot better shape than I am, but then again who isn't? Fuck, I think the Michelin Man is in better shape that I am. I struggle for 2 minutes and wince when I am getting up off the couch. I have to stop and take a breather on the way to the kitchen to grab myself another rum punch. Thank God I live on the 1st floor in my apartment building or else I would never make it home at night. I'd just sleep in the lobby. I'm so fat that I got on the scale and it said one at a time please! I tell ya, when I go to the beach people feel sorry for me and try to roll me back into the water. And when I do get into the water fishing boats surround me and the sea captain yells out "Thar she blows!" and they start shooting harpoons at me. Damn it! I'm doing it again! This isn't "25 pathetic things about Scott in 25 days" this is "25 Brewers in 25 Days" so I'll stop talking about me and continue talking about Craig Counsell. Because that's because you came here today, right? I know that you did, and I also know that you want to read about Craig Counsell. Because everyone does. Everybody loves Craig, for more reasons than we can ever come up with.

I already mentioned his versatility, veteran leadership but let's take a second to talk about his offense. Never known for being a big slugger (41 career homeruns in 14 seasons), his contribution to the offense is getting on base. He's a patient batter in a lineup filled with free swingers, which is why he's a perfect pinch hitter late in the game when the Brewers need a run to tie the game or take the lead. If there is one thing that Counsell does it's get on base via the walk or one of his signature clutch hits. There's a reason we call him C3 (Craig "Clutch" Counsell) because when the game is on the line and we need a baserunner, there's no one I'd rather have at the plate. Craig Counsell will get the job done. That's not to say that he doesn't hit an occasional homerun though. Cousin Kevin and I were in Washington D.C. at Nationals Ballpark when the Brewers dropped a 10 spot on the Nationals in the 1st inning of the game on April 18, 2010. In his 2nd at bat of the inning with the bases loaded and 1 out, the mighty Craig Counsell put one over the rightfield wall for his 3rd career Grand Slam that added the final 4 runs in that 10 run first inning.

There are many reasons to love Craig Counsell, but in my opinion the biggest reason is that he is one of us. True, he was born in South Bend, Indiana but his family moved to Whitefish Bay at an early age and attended High School there while his dad worked for the Milwaukee Brewers. He grew up playing baseball and watching the Brewers. Hey, I did that too! Craig Counsell is just like me! Since we're now family, I went to his hometown, the Village of Whitefish Bay to talk about my brother and how much he means to the Reck (especially my brother James) and Brewers families.

Look for Craig Counsell to help out immensely during the stretch run in the dog days of September as he plays almost every day because pitching and defense wins games. Hopefully by then our pitching staff will be 100% and helping to make that push seeing as they had the entire season under their belts and save the best for last, just like they did last September when it was too little too late and we had fallen out of contention. Counsell may not have the power of a Prince Fielder, the athleticism of Ryan Braun or the speed of Rickie Weeks, but his heart, effort and attitude put him as my 3rd favorite Brewers player behind Weeks and Fielder. While Counsell will contribute in too many ways to mention, only these stats that will show up in the box score:

.270 AVG, .337 OPB, 2 HRs, 34 RBIs and the pride of Whitefish Bay, Milwaukee and the entire state of Wisconsin, even though they haven't come up with a stat for that yet.

While I do know a good amount about Craig Counsell because 2011 will be his 6th year with the Brewers, I know nothing about the other veteran back-up Mark Kotsay. But just because I don't know anything about him doesn't mean that I don't like him. If there is one thing that I have learned over the years watching the Brewers it's that you need quality back-up players. Whether you like it or not, a player needs to take a couple of days off or spends a little time on the DL. It's very rare that you see a player play 162 games a year like Prince Fielder did in 2009. Sometimes guys just need a day off for a mental break or to rest a sore body part. That is where Mark Kotsay steps in. Like Craig Counsell, you are confident that could play every day but you don't want him too because that means one of our outfielders is down for a long amount of time. But given our outfield depth/versatility in both the minor and major leagues, I don't see Kotsay getting as much playing time as Counsell. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Chris Narveson (13 of 25)

2011-03-18T08:13:00.005-05:00

Brewers starter Chris Narveson was pretty good last year as the #5 starter as long as you take away the 1st inning. But you can't take the 1st inning out of his stats much like you can't take this headache out my head that was the result of a long night of drinking. You have to take the good with the bad when evaluating something overall. The problem with Narveson was that he almost never escaped the 1st inning without allowing a couple of runs, which often put his team in a hole that was difficult for them to dig out of. I can handle 1 or 2 runs, but when you give up a Gentleman's 2 runs (which on paper equates to at least 4 runs) then I have a problem. Here's hoping that he corrects that problem because outside of that he's a pretty solid back of the rotation pitcher. But one of the good things about his 1st inning struggles is that he gives the fans more time to hang out in the parking lot tailgaiting before the game. I like to try to get in by the start of the game (although that rarely happens when I'm drinking) but on games that Narveson is starting I know that I can wait until the bottom of the 1st inning because no one wants to see their starter get hit around in the opening frame of the game. Yeah man! No one wants to see that shit! So come on Narv-dog, figure that shit out so the offense doesn't have to bail you out big time every game.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day and I stayed out until bar close with my best buddy Mike Bates. I got about 3 hours of sleep and I have to work at 9:30am, which is in about an hour as I am writing this. So I don't really fucking feel like saying anything else about Narveson that you already know. He's a #5 starter. There's nothing really special about him or else he's have a higher slot in the rotation. But every team needs one, and if our starting 4 get healthy (which is a frustrating thing to think about now that Marcum tweaked his shoulder and Greinke as mentioned will already miss the start of the season) he is a nice compliment to the pitching staff every 5 days. I knew going into this that I would have nothing to say about Chris Narveson, which is why I filmed the video that you are about to watch. Suffice to say I could have just posted this video and not typed a damn word here. In my opinion it's that good.

So there you go. I know that you wonder about me sometimes. Once I get the rum in me strange things happen. But if that rum gives me to idea to wave a pirate flag and talk like a pirate then so be it. If that is the consequence for drinking then I'll be a jolly fellow and suffer those consequences every single time. And speaking of suffering, I refuse to suffer through a 1st inning blowup by Chris Narveson this year. If it is my choice (say when I go to the game as a fan instead of being there as an employee) I will chose to enter the game in the bottom of the 1st inning so I don't have to witness Narveson's first inning problems. But one thing that I can't chose is this stat line (which doesn't make any sense because it is my prediction and I am the only one who is choosing this shit. Leave me alone I'm tired and I'm pissed off I have to work today. I just want to fucking sleep all day):

10-13 record, 4.85 ERA, 174 innings pitched, 133 strikeouts and once again he will hear his name shouted Pirate style from the left field bleachers by yours truly. NAAAAAARRRRVESSSSSSON!

I don't really give a shit about Chris Narveson. No offense man. I'm sure that he's a hell of a guy in real life but he's one of the minor pieces of this puzzle and he's not vital to our success this year. One could make that same argument about the next player on the 25 man roster, the one and only Craig Counsell. But I would argue that he's extremely important to our success in 2011, so that is an argument worth having. Aside from improving the pitching staff I said that the next most important thing was resigning Craig Counsell. Either Doug Melvin was listening to me (at Miller Park I do work at the sections right in front of his suite on the Club Level so who knows) or he understands the role Counsell plays on this team. Every team needs a savvy veteran with post-season and World Series experience, and Counsell is able to bring that to the table. When we get back to the playoffs this year he will then play a pivotal role in most people's eyes, but I think that he has already started doing that in Spring Training. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Randy Wolf (12 of 25)

2011-03-17T08:13:00.000-05:00

There's not a whole lot that I can say about Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Randy Wolf, so once again get ready for a novel chronicling his up and down 2010 season and his future as a member of the starting rotation. One had every right to worry that Wolf was the second coming of Jeff Suppan, or maybe even Suppan put on a wolf mask and "played Wolf" if you will. His 3 year contract at a little over $9 million a season was looking really bad in the first half of the season. How bad? Just about as bad as Wolf's t-shirt in this picture. Seriously, where the hell did he pick that shit up? I hope he didn't get it at Spencer's Gifts at the mall because that would make me put him in the same category as a preteen that thinks beer is a laughing matter. He probably bought it then hung out at the food court with his buddies, eating an Auntie Annie's pretzel and drinking an Orange Julius while waiting for his Mom to come pick him up. You might be assuming that I was talking about Wolf when he was 13 years old and this shirt still fits him as an adult because he is in excellent physical shape. Nope. This happened last fall when the 34 year was back home during the offseason. He's still getting rides from his mother and he's not allowed to stay out past 9pm on a school night. I remember watching him awkwardly interacting with girls when I chaperoned his 8th grade dance last year. I wanted to be the wise mentor and give him some pointers, but it was too much fun watching him trying to figure out where to put his hands on the girls during the slow dances. Eventually he figured it out, but every time she winced when he stepped on her toes Pat Finley and I had a good belly chuckle.

Randy Wolf was signed to be the veteran presence that would eat innings and provide stability in the rotation. Where have we heard that before? Oh yeah, we heard it about every single veteran pitcher that we have ever signed. And for the most part, none of them have worked out. And although Wolf struggled mightily during the middle parts of the season he rebounded quite nicely and finished with a 4.13 ERA and 215 innings pitched. Sure it's not nearly as nice as the 3.23 ERA that he had in 2009 with the Los Angeles Dodgers, but then again Miller Park is hardly the pitcher's park that Dodger Stadium is. It's not even close, but you can expect that ERA to climb a little bit when he pitches the majority of his games in a hitter friendly ballpark which Miller Park is known to be. Your expectations of Randy Wolf in 2010 shouldn't have been very high. If they were then you were kidding yourself and you probably did the same thing with Jeff Suppan.

And that's why you hate yourself and you cry in your bed alone at night. It's not Wolf and Suppan's fault that your wife/girlfriend left you, it's yours. If you are pointing figures, point it at the man in the mirror and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson. Michael's not into you even though you think that you are hot. Are you a 9 year old boy? If you are you definitely shouldn't be reading this shit. Go to school or go to bed you little bastard. And why are we even worried about Michael Jackson? That dude is dead. I don't care if he came back as a Zombie in the Thriller music video. That was a work of fiction and it is not real, despite how real director John Landis made it look. But why the hell are we talking about that? Because it's 7:49 AM on St. Patrick's Day and I've already started drinking despite the fact that I have to go to work today? Nope, despite that it is the truth. No I did it because John Landis has a connection with Wolves, which is somehow a way to connect that last derailment with Wolves of the Randy persuasion.

Landis directed the fantastic 1981 horror / comedy flick "An American Werewolf in London" which is one of the quintessential 80's classics. But once again, what the hell does that have to do with Randy Wolf? His followers have been known as the Wolfpack and I suppose that I would call myself a member of that pack. Kevin and I wanted to don wolf masks and howl whenever he struck out an opposing batter, but the sombrero thing ultimately won out. We could have done both, but sometimes it's just not right to look like a hot mess of randomness. If I happen to find a cheap wolf mask at Bartz's or some other costume store I will think about picking one up and wearing it in the leftfield bleachers on the days when Wolf is starting. I know that Kevin will join me but I doubt that it will catch on despite the fact that he had wolfpack members when he pitched for Philadelphia. Now the sombrero on the other hand, is an item that will sweep through the Miller Park leftfield bleachers before rapidly consuming every man, woman and child in this world. They can try to fight it but in the end it will be futile to resist.

My wolfpack changes from time to time as members of it grow up and start wolfpacks of their own. I used to consider Aaron and Mike as members of said wolfpack but their have branched out and married women and created babies to strengthen their numbers in the fight against all other rivals that threaten our existence. So where my wolfpack used to be greater it stands now at 4. I know that cousin Kevin is by my side and Timmy and Colleen will run with me if they are not out running errands. But for this video I asked my friend Aaron to join me in discussing Randy Wolf because his opinion on the Brewers #3/4 starter is a hell of a lot different than mine is. Let's just say that he likes Randy Wolf just about as much as I like sobriety.

I will let everybody have a say on topics like this which is why I encourage all of you to sit down with me and discuss the 25 players on the Brewers Opening Day roster. It's obvious by my love for the Brewers that I am a total homer and I overvalue all of our players, leading to some ridiculous predictions for the 2011 season. Sometimes reality has to step in the form of a friend who doesn't think as highly as I do. Aaron for one doesn't care for Randy Wolf and thinks that he will only win 6 games this year. He's going to at least double that because now he is pitching in the spot of the rotation where he should have pitched last year but couldn't because of the lack of talent in front of him. Randy Wolf is not a #2 pitcher, despite the fact that he pitched in that spot in the 2010 rotation. With the acquisition of Greinke and Marcum he can be dropped down to where he belongs at #4 although he might pitch in the #3 spot if manager Ron Roenicke wants to split up his lefties (with the other lefthander being Chris Narveson).

No matter if he is the #3 or #4 starter (with Greinke missing the first few weeks of the season Wolf will start the 3rd and final game in the series against the Cincinnati Reds) Wolf will have a solid year. I'm not looking for him to set the world on fire but I am asking him to be consistent and basically be a .500 starter. Because that is all that we need him to be and in essence that is the reason why we signed him in the first place. So it will be no big shocker to me when he puts up these kind of stats in 2011:

4.11 ERA, 11-10 record, 207 innings pitched, 149 strikeouts, best Brewers player of the late 90's/early 2000's, 3 time NFL MVP, Superbowl Champion and future Hall of Famer. Like the Blessed Holy Trinity of Christianity, Randy Wolf is Three people in one.

Randy Wolf may have been bumped down to where he belongs in the starting rotation with the additions of Greinke and Marcum, but Chris Narveson is back where he has been and should be - the #5 staaaaaartaaarrr. I like Narveson a lot because if you say it like a pirate would you would emphasize the arrrrr and growl a lot when you say it. Which is exactly like I did when I made the video talking about him. Hopefully you have enjoyed the videos that I have made thus far, but I guarantee you it doesn't get any better than the one about Chris Narveson. After many rum punches I thought it would be a good idea to commandeer a playground structure and waive a pirate flag. And it really was a great idea. You're gonna love my video about Narveson, but you have to come back tomorrow to check that shit out. I wish that I could talk like a pirate every day and be accepted by my peers, But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Shaun Marcum (11 of 25)

2011-03-16T08:11:00.008-05:00

I'm going to try and decrease the amount of content because now is about the time in this series when the articles should be getting shorter. And for all parties involved this is a good thing. Trust me, I'm as tired of writing them as you are tired of reading them. So why continue? Because there are 25 men on the Opening Day roster (not 11) and rehab is for quitters. But it takes too much time to write these. That's time that I could be out at the bars picking up drunk chicks, dumpster diving for used textbooks, coming up with conspiracy theories about why George Lucas changed it so that Greedo shot first and sending out a police search unit to look for Sinbad's career. After all, he was so awesome in Houseguest. But talking Brewers baseball is more important that any of that shit, so I must continue.

So for now I will concentrate on new Brewers pitcher Shaun Marcum, who was acquired in a trade from the Toronto Blue Jays for minor league 2nd base prospect (and former 1st round pick) Brett Lawrie. It is no secret that the Brewers have been able to draft and develop offensive players. Take for example - Fielder, Weeks, Braun, Hart, Lucroy, Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain and the man who wins games Bill Hall. Here are the pitchers they've drafted and developed - Yovani Gallardo, Manny Parra and Mitch Stetter. Quite a difference, eh? So when your strength is offense and you need pitching, the easiest way to do that is to flip the offense for pitching in a trade. Most people (including me) thought that Prince Fielder would be the one to go, so when Lawrie was traded for Marcum straight up I knew two things instantly - the Brewers were confident that they could sign Rickie Weeks to a contract extension and they were keeping Prince Fielder in 2011. And that is exactly what happened.

In my opinion the Shaun Marcum trade was the steal of the offseason. And one that flew too far under the radar. I really didn't care for Brett Lawrie in the first place, so I gladly said goodbye to him. Marcum had pitched the last 5 years (although he did miss the 2009 season recovering from Tommy John surgery) with the Toronto Blue Jays in the AL East, meaning that he was going up against offensive powerhouse teams like the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays on a regular basis. And in the last few years he posted a spectacular ERA considering the talent he was facing: 2007 - 4.13, 2008 - 3.39 and 2010 - 3.64. If he can put up those numbers in the AL East he's going to have a field day in the NL Central. I don't normally like to sell teams short, but you can't tell me that the NL Central teams Houston Astros, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Cardinals and Cincinnati Reds compare with the previously mentioned AL East teams (including the Baltimore Orioles). The AL East is just a better division, and nothing says it better than the fact that the Toronto Blue Jays finished with a 85-77 record and finished 4th, 4TH MIND YOU, in the division. Tampa Bay (96-66) finished 1st, New York (95-67) was 2nd, Boston (89-73) was 3rd and Baltimore cried alone in the basement with a 66-96 record.

There is no reason to believe that he won't continue the trend of pitching with a sub-4 ERA this year, and it should improve because the NL Central has more teams (and more weaker teams at that) and he's facing a pitcher in the lineup instead of a DH. Granted more pitchers are starting to hit better (and the Brewers pitching staff is a good example of that) so you can't totally count them out, but you just can't compare one of the best hitting pitchers like Yovani Gallardo and his .254 batting average, 4 HRS, 10 RBIs to the best DH Vladimir Guerrero and his .300 AVG, 29 HRs and 115 RBIs. Granted that's a bit of a stretch, but even the worst DH is a better hitter than the best pitcher. So look for his numbers to improve in the National League.

When Timmy and I got our picture taken with him at the Brewers on Deck event in January, he asked us what was with the Sombreros. I refused to explain why we were wearing them and just told him that it was our thing. And then I teased and told him to look for us in the left field bleachers. I already mentioned that I wear a sombrero because I have pride in my new native land of Mexico, but other people in our gang wear it because the Sombrero is the symbol of the Revolution. And since Marcum is new to Milwaukee, he's on a need to know basis, and right now he doesn't need to know. But if all goes according to plan, there will be so many sombreros in the left field bleachers by season's end that he will not be able to ignore it. No one will be able to avoid the Revolution. Since I still don't know too much about Marcum except for what I think he will do in the NL Central, the Back Alley Burners decided to sing a song about him instead of swearing a lot and making a lot of noise in a public space.

The Shaun Marcum trade was overshadowed by the Greinke deal that went down 2 weeks later, but I would almost go so far as to say Marcum would have the better year. Greinke is the more talented pitcher, but with Marcum slotted in the #3 spot or possibly even the #4 if Roenicke decides to split up the lefties he will be facing weaker competition which will allow him to win more games. I already said Greinke would win 14 games with a 3.13 ERA, so I can't really can't say that honestly. But I can say that Marcum will put up a stat line similar to this:

15-10, 3.42 ERA, 161 strikeouts, 191 innings pitched and be the solid pitcher in the middle of the rotation that we always wished Dave Bush would be.

The best part about bringing in Greinke and Marcum is that it improves our biggest weakness from the last two years - our starting pitching. But the fallout from getting those 2 top of the rotation pitchers is that it bumps everyone else down to where they belong. You know how I feel about Gallardo as the future ace, but right now he's really just a #2, which is where he will pitch in 2011 behind Greinke. And last year the biggest mistake was having Randy Wolf pitch in the #2 spot. He's a #3 on a bad team and a #4 on a good team, which is exactly where he should be this year. Roenicke has said that he didn't want the lefties Wolf and Narveson to pitch back to back against the same team, so he might actually be the #3 starter but at the very least he's down towards the bottom of the rotation where he belongs. Some people still aren't sold on Randy Wolf and it will take a solid 2o11 from him to assure the fans that he's not the 2nd coming of Jeff Suppan. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Yovani Gallardo (10 of 25)

2011-03-15T07:35:00.006-05:00

I love Yovani Gallardo. I'm pretty sure he is one of the reasons why I decided to become a born again Mexican. That and the fact that I could wear a sombrero on my head at all times and never be questioned for it. Do you question a Christian for wearing a cross around their neck? Do you scowl at a Jewish man because he didn't take off his Yarmulke when he entered a building? No you don't because that would be considered a hate crime. And for the same reasons I am allowed to wear a sombrero whenever I see fit. I can wear it to sporting events. I can wear it at family parties. And I can also wear it when I am selling bags of oranges on the street corner or when I am begging for change. See everybody loves sombreros, and if someone says that they don't love them then they are lying to you. Then that person is not your friend because friends don't lie to you except when it is on purpose. Well sometimes you might lie because you are embarrassed of what the truth will reveal about you, and sometimes you lie to screw over your buddy. But I will never lie about my love for sombreros and Yovani Gallardo.

I spent the majority of my life as an American until I one day woke up and discovered I was living a lie. See I love things from Mexico. I love burritos, mariachi bands, maracas, Aztec ruins, smuggled drugs and guns, migrant workers, salsa, silly putty, flame retardant material, a 5.4-liter DOHC (dual overhead cam) V8 engine from a 2005 Shelby Mustang GT500, ceramic plates, lithium batteries, brass knuckles, ponchos, jet skis, San Dimas paper thin walls, cotton candy makers, knee high socks, methamphetamine, Lynyrd Skynyrd '93, jump ropes, Speedy Gonzalez and of course - Jello. Where would we be without Jello? Even if you just ate 3 Meximelts and a Chalupa Supreme there's always room for Jello. But what does this have to do with Yovani Gallardo and baseball? I'm about to make a loose connection if you stop yanking my chain holmes.

The Golden Sombrero is a slang term in baseball to describe a batter who has accomplished the inglorious feat of striking out 4 times in one 9 inning game. In a regulation game a batter will usually get 4 plate appearances and if they strike out 4 times then they had a ridiculously awfull night. The strikeout is the least productive at bat because nothing positive can come from it. When you hit that ball into play you at least give the defender a chance to misplay the ball and you wind up on 1st on an error. Or you could ground or fly out and the runner advances up a base on the play, resulting in a productive out. Yes, for those of you that are knowledgeable on baseball, there is a scenario where you can strike out and still reach base. But enough of that. Again, what's the connection between this shit and Gallardo? He is the only pitcher on the staff capable of giving one of the opposing batters the Golden Sombrero. And not just because he is Mexican. In the last two seasons (the only 2 of his 4 where he pitched for a complete season) he had 200 or more strikeouts. In 30 some odd starts a year, that means he averages about 7 strikeouts per game. I don't know offhand if he has done it to a batter, because the Golden Sombrero stat has yet to be added to MLB's official statistical database. But when the Revolution begins it will be, even if in this connotation the sombrero is being used to describe something negative. But we, the members of Wearing a Sombrero Facebook Community page, welcome all uses of the sombrero because that means it is relevant in our daily lives and it is slowly taking over the world.

Gallardo has the tools, talent, presence of an ace and he also the ability to be cool under pressure when placed in a sticky situation. An elite pitcher may allow a couple of runners to reach base in an inning, but then they also know how to get out of it without the runners scoring. That is the difference between good and great. Pure skill does have a lot to do with it because you either have it or you don't, but to be a top pitcher you also need to have the other intangibles as well. Gallardo is still only 25 years old, and most baseball analysts will tell you that his best years are still in front of him. And this is a guy who in 2009 had a 3.73 ERA, 204 strikeouts and held opposing batters to a .219 AVG. As you can obviously see this isn't the stat line of an ace as a lot of people are quick to point out. So I guess that Gallardo could better be described as a future ace, or an ace in the making. But for reasons including that fact that we are both Mexican (he having been born there and me having been born there again), he was drafted and developed by the Brewers, he has been the #1 pitcher the last few years and he doesn't have mental problems like Zack Greinke are reasons why I want Gallardo to remain in the #1 spot in the rotation.

One of the other aspects of Gallardo's game is what he can do with the bat. In 63 at bats last year, he had a .254 AVG, 16 hits, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs and an OBP of .329. Granted it is in fewer at bats, but that's better than some of the regular everyday position players. Basically that means on days when he pitches there is no black hole in the lineup (unless you count Carlos Gomez... zing!) and you can't assume that the pitcher is going to make an out. You all know that in the National League the pitchers bat, and for the entire 2010 season there were 12 homeruns hit by pitchers and Gallardo hit 4 of them. He personally accounted for 1/3 of homeruns hit by pitchers! That's something special to have on a team. I remember a game (I think it was against the Pittsburgh Pirates) where the Brewers won 1-0 and Gallardo pitched like 8 innings and hit the homerun that was the only scoring in the game. I know defense is a factor, but that day he pretty much did it all himself. And those are just a couple of reasons why I'm glad that Gallardo, and not Greinke, is starting on Opening Day.

Now that you've accepted the fact that I am a born again Mexican, I am now authorized to predict what Gallardo's 2011 season will look like. Had I not taken the test and passed, I would have had my sombrero taken away from me from the Mexican Sombrero Association. The MSA is a newly formed group that regulates who and who cannot wear a sombrero. And unless you join me in adopting Mexico as your new homeland, you will probably have the MSA knocking on your door. And they don't take no for an answer. If you are wearing a sombrero and they ask if you are Mexican, make sure you say Si and you mean it. Don't lie. The MSA doesn't care for impostures who lie and masquerade as a Mexican without actually being one. That is uncalled for. But this is what I am calling for Gallardo to do in 2011:

18 -8 record, 2.92 ERA, 211 strikeouts, 208 innings pitched, .242 batting AVG, 3 HRs, 12 RBIs and able to wear a sombrero whenever he wants because he is a pure Mexican, not born again like some of us. Oh what I wouldn't give to be Yovani Gallardo...

Yovani Gallardo is Mexican, I am a born again Mexican and new Brewers pitcher Shaun Marcum is an American, though he did have the chance to be a born again Canadian. I personally do not know if he took the test in the last 5 years where he played in Canada as a member of the Toronto Blue Jays. If I do have the chance to have a sit down with him I will ask him that question. Because if there is ever anything that is on the same level as being a born again Mexican it's being a born again Canadian. In fact, the next time that I make my way to our neighbor to the North I will see if I can take the test. Think about it. I will have been born American, born again Mexican and born again Canadian. I will become the representative of North America when the Trifecta is complete! And then peace will sweep the continent as we become one, and MexiCanAmerica will be such an opposing force that countries will lay down their arms and nuclear weapons and the entire world will live in harmony. You may laugh now, but unless you become born again Mexican and Canadian you will not be able to share in the glory. I'm talking to you Shaun Marcum. Repent now! Change your life! I will personally tutor you in the ways of a MexiCanAmerican in the 2 years you are here in Milwaukee, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Zack Greinke (9 of 25)

2011-03-14T08:09:00.009-05:00

New Brewers starting pitcher Zack Greinke is the talk of the offseason. When he was acquired from the Kansas City Royals in exchange for Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain, Jake Odorizzi and Jeremy Jeffress I was upset at first. Mostly because I really liked all 4 of those young players and I was looking forward to their contribution to the team. The more that I thought about it the more that I loved it though. If there was one thing that had been holding us back in the last few years it was pitching, so Greinke would not only be a significant upgrade, but he instantly became the best pitcher on our team. No other pitcher on this team has won a Cy Young award, given to 1 pitcher in each league who is voted to be the best. Greinke won that award in 2009. I'm a little worried though because all of his other years with the Kansas City Royals are average. Nothing stands out from them. Since he has pitched his entire career in the American League thus far, I really have no personal opinion on him when it comes to his baseball skills and talent besides the numbers. Although I am a fan of baseball in general, I put so much time and effort into watching and knowing everything Brewers that it often doesn't leave any leftover time for following other teams and players. So then I look like a complete dumb ass when I'm trying to sound educated on guys like Greinke, Marcum and Kotsay who came to our team from the American League. So while I certainly won't ask you to stop reading, just make sure you know that I have no freaking idea what I am doing anymore. 10 articles in of 25 and I've already lost it. Who would've thought?

In most people's minds he is the ace of the pitching staff. The #1 head honcho. The losing streak slump buster. The go to guy. The big cheese. The HOT, STINKING CHEDDAR! If I go by stats alone I would say that (Cy Young year aside) he is right on the same level as Yovani Gallardo. So I don't know why he was appointed the Opening Day starter. Gallardo should have gotten the ball that day based on past performance with the team. And although some people will argue that based on Gallardo's stats he too is no ace of a pitching staff, those who have watched him pitch every time out know that he has all of the intangibles that add to the talent that puts him in the same group as the top pitchers in the league. The acquisition of Greinke was a big deal and I understand that the Brewers satisfied their offseason need for pitching and built their marketing campaign for 2011 around this guy. I get it. But I also think that in focusing on Greinke you really are hating on Gallardo, which isn't right. But for the time being, all of that is a moot point thanks to "Air" Greinke breaking a rib playing basketball during Spring Training, and he will open the season on the DL.

"Zack the Glide" Greinke is a real enigma as a person. He suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder, no naturally I shouldn't make fun of him for being a little awkward, right? Have you forgotten who I am? I make fun of everyone because I am an asshole and no one is exempt. I'm all for him shying away from the media, not wanting to answer questions, not talking to his teammates, not goofing in the clubhouse or all of that other stuff that he doesn't want to do because it annoys him. That's fine. I only care about his on the field performance because in the end that is what matters the most. Especially because we paid such a high price with 4 young players to get "Dr. J" Greinke for the next 2 years. And he has already been labeled the savior of this woeful pitching staff. Yeah I excited too when the Brewers actually did some something to improve that didn't include the signing of some retread like Doug Davis, and "Magic"Greinke certainly has the potential to be the best pitcher on this team in the 2011 season. But then he has to go ahead and something stupid like playing basketball during Spring Training and falls and injures himself. I understand that accidents happen and he could have as easily fallen had he been back home in Kansas City on a patch of ice this winter. But those kind of things can't be avoided. Getting hurt playing basketball can be avoided if you don't play basketball. You are a baseball player and once the season starts you have to focus your training, exercise routines and conditioning around being ready to start the baseball season. Besides, who the hell plays basketball so hard (in a pick-up game no less) that they fall down and break their fucking ribs?

While it still really pisses me off that "Big Dog" Greinke injured himself and will not open the season on the 25 man roster and will not pitch on opening day, I have to at least admire what kind of competitor he is. Him going all out in a meaningless basketball game at least shows that he wants to win and will stop at nothing to do so. We need that kind of competitive fire out on the baseball diamond and we can't settle for players who are satisfied with a "quality start" Don't get me started talking about how stupid that stat is, because I don't see anything quality about going 6 innings and giving up 3 runs. Sounds good to you though, right? But that pitcher's ERA would be 4.50, and if that is quality then something is wrong with the expectations we have for being average. You shouldn't settle for that, and it looks like "Tractor" Greinke isn't going to.

Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by intense fear in social situationscausing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. I'll just say that I'm no doctor nor am I a smart person, so what I can be saying is completely wrong. Screw it though , you didn't come here for facts. You came here to look at pictures of Emily Kuchar (now Greinke), the smokin' hot wife of Zack "The Stilt" Greinke. How does a guy who has extreme shyness, is overly self-conscious, has intense phobias of talking to people and being surrounded by crowds land a hot piece of ass like that? It's not right!! It's not fair!! It's unjust!! But he's also an athlete. With lots of money and opportunities. When you have that kind of shit going for you women like this find you. You don't have to do a damn thing. So the guy has everything he wants and now has a chance to lead a pitching staff into the playoffs and capture the hearts and minds of the Milwaukee fans just like CC Sabathia did in 2008. The only question is will the people be willing to look past how weird and awkward he is and focus only on his game? Or will they be like Kevin and I and just constantly make fun of him for things that are both in and out of his control.

No one is exempt. That has been a long standing rule between Kevin and I because no one is perfect and every now and then they need to be knocked down a peg. And Zack "The Admiral" Greinke is no different. And although he certainly didn't start his Brewers career off on the right foot (or is it the right rib?) it looks like he should only miss 2-3 starts in the regular season. But if this injury plagues him for more time than that (like if it continues into mid or late may) then we're in serious trouble. The Brewers cannot afford to get off to a slow start in 2011, and the sooner that a healthy "Big Baby" Greinke joins the team, the sooner he can start to put up numbers like this:

14-6 record, 3.13 ERA, 179 strikeouts, 190 innings, and he's still going to cry and shy away when people confront him, but he's got one hell of a shoulder to cry on.

Zack "The Dream" Greinke may have usurped Yovani Gallardo as the ace of the staff in everyone else's eyes, but he's not fooling me. Greinke may have the talent and be the talk of the town right now, but I'm just not ready to deal with all of the extra bullshit and baggage he comes with until he proves it on the field that none of that shit hampers his baseball game. Gallardo on the other hand has never done anything to distract himself from contributing on the field. Sure, there was that freak injury in 2008 where he tore his ACL and missed the rest of the season. But he rehabbed and started Game 1 against the Phillies in the NLDS that fall, and in the Spring of 2009 he put aside his National pride to compete with the Mexican Team in the World Baseball Classic to focus on being ready for the 2009 season with the Brewers. The man ditched his country for his team! T-E-A-M. That is what is important. So even if "Muggsy" Greinke may have the better numbers this year and be the #1 starter, he's really only a 2 year rental. Gallardo is our guy. We drafted and developed him, and signed him to a longterm contract that will keep him in a Brewers uniform long after "King Zack" Greinke is committed to a mental hospital. Gallardo is my ace and in a weird way I'm glad that he and not Greinke is getting the start Opening Day on March 31st when the Brewers play the Reds in Cincinnati. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Jonathon Lucroy (8 of 25)

2011-03-13T08:07:00.023-05:00

There is a slight delay getting this entry for Brewers catcher Jonathon Lucroy posted today. That's because I feel like I'm Bill Fucking Murray (and I know that isn't his middle name) in Groundhog Day because I've already written this article. But somehow, right as I was putting the final touches on it, I highlighted it and deleted all of the text in here. Since Blogger autosaves this shit every few seconds, it saved the draft of nothing versus the 2 hours of work that I already put into this. What I had already written about Lucroy was well thought out, inspirational, had plenty of anecdotes and factual data to support my claims and it was devoid of most humor. That is because the catching position is no joke. I'd rewrite that article but I can't anymore because I'm drunk now. And I'm I'm pissed off. So what you are going to get is me trying to retell that story through blurry angry eyes, so strap on your pads, grab your mask and glove, and get behind the plate because I'm going to throw you some fastballs and the occasional curveball in the dirt.

The main reason that I like Jonathon Lucroy is because I like them young. Not like illegal or anything. I'm no pedophile and you don't have to alert Chris Hansen of Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" and have them arrest me at some strangers house and seize my hard drive. You might have to alert Dutch, Dillon and Blain if Rickie Weeks starts wandering around the Central American jungles, but that's a completely different version of "To Catch a Predator." I wasn't exactly a ladies man in junior high or highschool, which may be one of the reasons I like people of a certain age. For some reason that even a psychiatrist probably can't even explain I tend to hang out with people a whole lot younger than me and I suppose I'm attracted to that demographic as well. But before you go locking up your daughters so I can't ruin their lives like I ruined mine, just know that I'm all talk and no action, which is why I will die alone in 10 years instead of living until I'm in my 90's surrounded by children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and my loving wife. But this isn't about how sad and pathetic my so called "Living the Dream" life is, this is about Jonathon Lucroy, who I may or may not be attracted to.

The catching position is the most important one on the field because he is similar to the quarterback in football - he calls the plays, sets up the players on the field and he controls the pace of the game. The catcher never gets any credit for what they do. If a pitcher does well he gets the recognition, but if he does poorly he often gets blamed as well. Some of that responsibility should fall on the catcher's shoulders as well. And Lucroy has the responsibility of turning around a pitching staff that has been ranked at the bottom of the league for the past 2 seasons. But he is going to get some help. A lot of help. New additions like Zack Greinke, Shaun Marcum and Takashi Saito plus returning pitchers like Gallardo, Narveson and Axford that have another year of experience should make his job a little easier. But it still is a monumental task to be a catcher. It's a lot more than catching the ball and throwing it back to the pitcher. Hell Rube Baker in Major League II couldn't even do that shit. So what kind of shit does Lucroy need to do besides squatting behind the plate? Let me try to tell you without boring you to death.

Think of all the things that a catcher needs to know. First off they need to know everything about their own pitchers. How hard they throw, what their command is like, how many innings can they pitch before they start to tire, where they like to throw the ball, how quick is their delivery to the mound when there is a runner on base, how they like to pitch a certain player, how they are in day games versus night games and home games versus away games, how much experience do they have in pressure situations and countless others that I could list if I didn't have to get up and mix another drink. So once that he has scouted all of his own players, he then needs to learn about the opposing batters so that he knows what pitches to call in every situation that could occur. Does a player constantly swing at a high fastball like Prince Fielder? Or do they flail at a slider low and away like Corey Hart does? Lucroy needs to know these things about players. And before I put all of this pressure on the catcher, the pitchers should know these things as well so that either players aren't all alone on their respective islands (the pitching mound and home plate). That is a whole lot of knowledge to acquire and tons of studying, reading reports and watching video. I went to college for 7 years and put all that learning shit behind me when I got my diploma in the mail (I didn't show up to my Graduation Ceremony, or else I would have said when my diploma was handed to me on stage) so I can't imagine what they go through. But if your job depended on knowing stuff like that, then I guess I could study too. Especially if $400,000 - $15 million annual salary was on the line based on my performance. Then I would study my ass off.

And that's paragraph was only about calling the game and it was abbreviated at that. A catcher also has to worry about his offense and defense. When it comes to catching, there are few of them who are offensive studs, so bare minimum a catcher needs to have good defense and be able to block a ball in the dirt. A strong accurate arm and the ability to throw a runner out trying to steal a base is a plus as well. And then anything they bring to the plate offensively is bonus. That is why a catcher usually hits in the #7 or #8 spot in the lineup in front of the pitcher. Sure there are exceptions but for every Joe Mauer, Buster Posey and Brian McCann you have a George Kottaras, Jorge Posada and Kurt Suzuki. But when I was looking over 2010 catcher stats, I noticed that there weren't too many catchers who were absolutely terrible last year (minimum of 100 games caught) so it looks like the offensive game of the catcher is improving. I know that Lucroy would be the first to tell you that he needs to step up his game because he himself has said that his 2010 stat line is not indicative of his talent: .253 AVG, .300 OBP, 4 HRs and 26 RBIs. But the kid is still young and he still has time to improve at the plate. And speaking of being young, I went back to Center Street Park where I played Cub Scout softball to relive some old memories and talk about Lucroy:

Jonathon Lucroy broke the pinky finger on his right hand during blocking drills in the first week of Spring Training and will most likely start the season on the DL. But even though he may not technically be one of the 25 players on the 25 man Opening Day roster, he will be an important part of this team once he is activated. Look for him to catch 4 out of the 5 starters and be the main catcher on this team. And also get ready to love him because he's quite a looker. The next jersey that I'm getting is a Jonathon Lucroy one despite the fact that I still don't own a McGehee or Greinke. Will I look as good as he does? Probably not, but then again I'm used to being really really really ridiculously bad looking. I was an ugly child. I mean when I was born the doctor slapped my Mother! My parent's used to tie a steak around my neck so that the dog would play with me. As a child I was the poster boy for Birth Control!

Hopefully you will have learned a little about the catching position that you may not have known and will never forget. And too bad for you that you also learned a little about my position in life that you didn't know and would like to forget. I could give you a stat line of my life that would show on paper that I am one of the most pathetic people on the planet, but this article isn't about me, it's about Lucroy. Besides no one wants to see that shit anyway. You don't need to see on paper how worthless my life is, you get a good idea of that every day. I certainly do when I look in the mirror. Why just the other day I went to my doctor and I said hey Doc, every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and I wanna throw up. What's wrong with me? And he said I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect. I was a little upset so I went to my psychiatrist and I asked him what was the matter with me. And he says I think you're crazy. So I said Doc if you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. And he says alright, so you're ugly too. That's the story of my life. No Respect. I tell ya I don't get no respect at all.

But I can respect this stat line from Jonathon Lucroy in 2011, even if for Christmas when I got him a BB gun he got me a sweater with a bullseye on the back:

.268 AVG, .320 OBP, 11 HRs, 62 RBIs, 127 games played and respect from the Brewers fans even though they kept the picture of the kid who came with the wallet.

One of the players that will be spending a lot of time with Jonathon Lucroy is newly acquired pitcher Zack Greinke. Like Lucroy he most likely will begin the season on the Disabled List due to a rib fracture and bruising suffered in the beginning of Spring Training playing basketball. Wait, I thought that he was a baseball player? Exactly. So what was he doing playing high impact street ball when he was supposed to be stretching his arm out for the Opening Day start? Only Greinke knows, and he probably won't tell you about it. That's because Greinke doesn't like you and doesn't like talking to people. But that is only scratching the surface of what a complex individual this guy is. I've got plenty to say about him and I'm sure that Cousin Kevin and I can make fun of him for a lot of things he says and does. But is it right to make fun of someone with mental problems? Hell yeah it is, because no one is exempt. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Corey Hart (7 of 25)

2011-03-12T09:11:00.007-06:00

Corey Hart burst upon the music scene in 1984 at the age of 22 and took the world by storm with his hit single "Sunglasses at Night." The odd thing was that the song was more popular in the US and climbed higher in the charts there than it did in his native land of Canada. Normally Canadians take care of their own and have a great sense of National pride whenever one of their sons makes it to the big time. Canada has to be proud of something after all, because without Corey Hart, Celine Dion, Rick Moranis and John Candy, Canada is only known as America's hat. Canada is often the subject of folly from Americans who joke about their use of the word eh and their inability to say about (pronounced aboot if you are Canadian.) I for one spent one of the greatest weekends of my life in Windsor, Ontario in my first visit to our neighbors to the North, and I have nothing against Canada. Corey Hart on the other hand owes his post "Sunglasses at Night" career to his homeland because after that iconic hit 80's song he never found that level of success again except in Canada. If you asked me to name another one of his songs I couldn't do it, despite living 1/3 of my life in that decade and being a huge fan of the 1980's. Hell, my two favorite movies are Back to the Future (featuring Canadian Michael J. Fox) and Ghostbusters (featuring Canadian Dan Aykroyd). Let's just say that if I spent more time in the 20tens and now the 20teens worrying about real life things like advancing in my career, getting in shape, falling in love and having babies versus all the time I spend being nostalgic about the 80's, I'd really be living the dream right now. But I sure love me some 80's music. Say what you want, but that's the stuff that really gets me going. And Corey Hart has a part of that I think.

Wait... this isn't about 80's pop star Corey Hart? This is supposed to be about the baseball player Corey Hart who wears his sunglasses in the day time? Ah man. I don't want to talk about Milwaukee Brewers right fielder Corey Hart anymore. At the bottom of the article (and on the right) I have labels than you can click on. Go ahead and click Corey Hart and you will see how much of my life I have wasted writing articles about Corey Hart. For those of you who need The Count from Sesame Street to help you out, let me bring him in for a second to figure this out. 1 article, 2 articles, 3 articles, 4 articles, 5 articles, 6 articles, 7 articles, 8 articles. 8 Corey Hart articles! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I love counting. So Scott, are we going to meet next Saturday for lunch at Noodles and Company? Sure Count, I'll be there at 1. 1! 1 is a good number! It is the easiest number to count to! So I will see you there at 1, I'm counting on it. Ah ha ha ha ha!

That Count sure is quite a character. But he also points out that I too am quite a character. Who writes 8 articles about a person that they supposedly hate? Maybe I'm just jealous that he has a lot of money and I don't. Maybe I'm pissed off because he proved me wrong last year by having a career season. And maybe I'm just secretly in love with him and I channel my feelings into anger and aggression just like you did in grade school when you were mean to the girl that you had a huge crush on. It's probably all of the above, so he were go with another Corey Hart article.

Prior to the 2010 season Hart won his arbitration case following a piss poor season and was given a $4.8 million dollar salary in 2010. And he earned every cent of that $4.8 million. And a lot of fans jumped right back on his bandwagon as he settled into the #2 spot in the lineup and made the NL All-Star team despite not being in the lineup on Opening Day. The reason why that is a big deal is because the All-Star ballots are based on Opening Day lineups and the listed Brewers outfielders for the fans to vote for were Ryan Braun, Carlos Gomez and Jim Edmonds. So Hart made the All-Star team not by the fans vote, but by the voting of his fellow players in Major League Baseball who recognized the fantastic year he was having prior to the All-Star Game. When Hart made the All-Star Team in 2008 as the 25th man as voted upon by the fans, he slipped considerably in the 2nd half of that season, which led to my disdain for Hart as he was completely unreliable as the Brewers made their most important playoff push in 26 years. So I was worried that 2010 would mirror 2008 and once again Corey Hart would let me down and be subject to name calling once again. But in 2010 Corey Hart was no bitch, and he finished the year just as strong as he started it.

I've really exhausted all that I can say about Corey Hart, which is too bad considering that he's going to be around here for a while. In August of this past season, he signed a contract extension that will pay him $8.83 million per year over the next 3 years. Is he worth $8 million a year? That's debatable, but that's the going rate for a corner outfielder who puts up those kind of numbers. Hell, the Washington Nationals gave free agent rightfielder Jayson Werth a 7 year $126 million contract ($18 million a year), and one could argue that Hart puts up very similar numbers. Werth has been more consistent over the past 3 years, but if they end up having the same years (as each other and as they each did in 2010) then Corey Hart's contract will look like a real bargain. I would love nothing more than to see the Corey Hart of 2010 versus the Corey Hart of 2009 playing right field for the Brewers in 2011, but how will that all play out? And what do other people think about Hart? To answer those questions I turned to my good friend and co-worker Mike Wilhelm. He sits in the cube next to me, and when we aren't getting yelled at for talking too much, we are discussing sports. And no player in Wisconsin sports had us debating more than Corey Hart did last year.

Yeah I kind of screwed that one up. Apparently I'm so polarized by Corey Hart even after I've exhausted everything to say that I just keep on talking. I didn't really give Mike a chance to offer much of an opinion, but if you want to have an opinion get your own damn blog my friend! This is my shit! I own this motherfucker! And I guess I'm also not ready to let my love/hate for Corey Hart go, and it really could go any way in 2011. If he has a fantastic season I'll write about how much I hate that I love him, and if he has a terrible season I will write about how much I love to hate him. But for the overall success of this team I do wish that he plays well. Unless I want a player to be cut (like Jeff Suppan) I never wish for one of my players to play poorly. I want nothing more than to see the team win, and it will be easier if Corey Hart puts up numbers like this:

.278 AVG, 26 HRs, 91 RBIs, 21 stolen bases and the subject of many over the cubicle walls debate between Mike and I.

I really hope that Carlos Gomez will produce this year so that he can bat in the #2 spot that Hart occupied most of last year so that Hart can drop down to #6. The top 5 spots in the Brewers lineup ranks in the top 5 in all of baseball but the bottom 4 can sometimes make or break the offensive game on that day. So if Hart can drop down into the lower half and provide some much needed power, speed and RBIs it will help everyone else down there. One player that would definitely benefit from batting with Hart on base would be Brewers catcher Jonathon Lucroy (who will probably bat in the #7 or #8 spot). He was "thrown into the wolves" last year when Zaun went down with a season ending injury. Having to learn the pitching staff and to call games at the major league level while also trying to work on his offense might have been a little daunting for Lucroy, and I for one think he did a hell of a job. He broke his pinky finger on his right hand in the first week of Spring Training and he may start the season on the Disabled List. Although he then wouldn't technically be on the 25 man roster on Opening Day, he's going to be a huge part of the team in 2011 so I'm going to do an article about him anyway. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Carlos Gomez (6 of 25)

2011-03-11T08:00:00.008-06:00

Yeah I know that I already used this picture last year when I introduced center fielder Carlos Gomez to Brewers fans in the 2010 edition of "25 in 25." But I had to use it again for a few reasons - that chick is smokin' hot, she wears work gloves and this picture ties more into this year's subject matter than it did last year's. That's because I say that Carlos Gomez is a boob. And not the kind of boob that babies and grown men alike yearn for. Get you head out of the gutter people! Show some class damn it! I do on a daily basis. The least you can do is meet me halfway. I mean boob as in stupid, idiot, dunce, fool, goof, goon, imbecile, dimwit and dumbbell. That's because Carlos Gomez has more raw talent than a mime has invisible rope to hang himself with. He certainly has the potential of a 5 tool player: one who hits for average, power, possesses base running skills and speed, and has plus throwing ability and defense. The only problem is that his career batting average is .246, he has hit only 17 homeruns in the majors, averages 19 stolen bases a year, has inaccurate cannon for an arm and has 4 errors a year. Well 2 out of 5 (base running and defense) ain't bad I suppose. But if he were to just work on his plate discipline and tweak a couple of minor things, there is no reason to believe that with a little work and effort he couldn't acquire the other 3 tools to form a complete set.

And speaking of 3 tools in a set, check out this 3 tittied bitch from Total Recall. Even though I censored this shit a little bit (this is a family site after all) you certainly can relate to the mutant Benny in the movie who wishes that he had three hands. I mean, what good are two hands when you have three things to grab hold of? You don't want one of the objects to go to waste. I'd say that you could call a friend over to offer you a hand, but even then he'd still have a free hand. So either way you're kind of screwed. But one can dream, right? And I'm dreaming by saying that Carlos Gomez can be a fantastic ball player. There's a reason why the New York Mets gave up on him (and traded him to Minnesota in the Johan Santana deal) and that the Minnesota Twins also gave up on him (and traded him to the Brewers in the JJ Hardy deal) and there was a reason that the Brewers gave up on him last season - he can't get on base enough to take advantage of his skills. There is no question that he is an excellent defender (although his throwing accuracy is suspect) and I predict that he will one day win a Gold Glove providing that he plays in 150+ games. And therein lies the problem.

Carlos Gomez is a black hole on offense, which led to him playing in only 97 games with the Brewers last year. Jim Edmonds, Lorenzo Cain and a cast of garbage characters filled in for the other 65 games. And that was because Carlos Gomez had an on base percentage of .298, which is uncalled for, atrocious and unacceptable for a person of his speed. He is so fucking fast that I call him Go-go-go-Gomez and make comparisons to Speedy Gonzalez, which is more a reference to his quickness and not necessarily the fact that they are both of Latin American decent. If he made an effort to hit the ball on the ground instead of the air his in base percentage would rise, which would also lead to more stolen bases, more runs and a higher batting average. Instead he chooses to keep on hitting the ball in the air, and despite popular belief, you can't outrun a pop fly. Hitting coach Dale Sveum is making Gomez his personal project for the 2011 season in attempt to turn his career around. There is still time for this raw talent because at the start of the season, he's still only 26 years old. Up until this point however, Gomez has proven that he is just a giant boob because he neglects to take advantage of his God given talents. Which is why I stood in front of Milwaukee's man made boobs to discuss the future of the Brewers' center fielder.

Although I was a little drunk at the time that I filmed this video, I was still sober enough to make my first bold prediction of the 2011 season: Carlos Gomez will have a breakout year. The biggest reason is that the Brewers simply don't have a replacement at center field after trading Lorenzo Cain to Kansas City in the Zack Greinke deal. All of the other players who could potentially fill the backup outfield spots on the 25 man roster (Mark Kotsay, Brandon Boggs, Chris Dickerson and Jeremy Reed) are projected to be corner outfielders, so that means that Gomez will be given every opportunity to succeed as the every day center fielder. So really the only player that can beat Gomez is Gomez himself. And I believe that manager Ron Roenicke will slot him in the #2 spot in the batting order providing that he gets on base, which will give him plenty of opportunities to steal bases and score a ton of runs. I might be smoking some wicked crack, but if I'm right, Gomez will put up these stats in 2011:

.272 AVG, .313 OBP, 7 HRs, 41 RBIs, 27 stolen bases, 139 games played, golden glove type defense

I may be way off base with Carlos Gomez because I want to see him live up to his potential, and one player that I was way off base with last year was right fielder Corey Hart. It's no secret that I don't really care for him because he burned me in the past. But Corey Hart more than made up for it in 2010 and then some, and signed a 3 year $26.5 million dollar contract that will keep him around through the 2013 season. So even though I may never like him ever again, I do have to learn to deal with his goofy ass. But there may be some room in my heart for uhh... Hart if he continues to put up numbers like he did in 2010 that led to him being the starting right fielder in the 2010 All-Star Game. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Ryan Braun (5 of 25)

2011-03-10T07:59:00.010-06:00

I can't help but make fun of Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun. He makes it way too damn easy. Sure, he's probably the best player on the team (which is debatable) which should make him exempt from ridicule, but if there is one thing that I have learned in my travels is that no one is exempt. I have personally seen verbal attacks on babies, older people with terminal diseases (why don't you make a wish for better seats) and grown men who could easily defend themselves. It doesn't matter who you are, your age, race, gender, religious beliefs, or any other label your can put on a person - I will make fun of you. I don't know why I do it. Maybe it's because I got made fun of a lot when I was a kid all through high school. Maybe I'm just a big jerk and I have a black heart unable to share love with other people. And maybe I do it to mask my own insecurities. But with Braun I think that I do it simply because he sets himself up too much for me to knock him down. It would be criminal not to take advantage of the situations presented to me by Ryan Braun.

Everybody knows how good at baseball he is. Rookie of the Year in 2007. 3 time All Star. 3 time Silver Slugger award winner (given to the best offensive player at each position). 128 HRs, 420 RBIs, 711 hits and a .307 batting average in his 4 year career. And despite some defensive problems that earned him a position change from 3rd base to left field, he has actually become a fairly good defender in the outfield thanks to his athleticism and powerful arm. So there is really nothing to hate about him, until you consider his off the field activities. Braun is perhaps the most vocal off all the players and constantly mouths off to the media about the lack of a pitching staff, the god damn shadows that prevent him from seeing the ball during day games and any other little thing that bothers him. So I'm going to mouth off about the things that bother me about Ryan Braun.

I don't have to say anything that the pictures in this blog entry don't already say. Ryan Braun looks like a complete douche bag. I don't know whether it is his loud tight t-shirt with multi-colored skulls (which he helped design that come from his clothing line at Remetee that you can buy at the Buckle, the Jersey Shore and the website http://www.remetee.com/) or his $64 dollar gelled up haircut. Or it could be his playboy lifestyle and penthouse apartment. Perhaps it's that he spends more time picking out the appetizers at his restaurant and designing the decor than he spends working on his batting average in day games. Ryan Braun gives us more that enough material for Kevin and I to sit in the left field bleachers and heckle him like those two old bastards in the Muppets. We're pretty loud and obnoxious too so I know that on low attended games Braun can hear every word that we are saying. He probably hates us but I don't give a shit. In essence I pay his salary, and as his boss I have the right to tell him exactly what I think about him. And as you can see from the video below that Kevin and I did, we have more than a few choice words to impart on Mr. Braun for the 2011 season.

But before you go thinking that I hate Ryan Braun it's the complete opposite. Even though I was the man who once shouted out, "Hey Braunie! Next time why don't ya use Google Maps and find a better route!" after he got turned around and totally misplayed a flyball running back towards the wall that ended up falling for a double. But don't misconstrue that as hatred. You know how you mess with your friends and constantly insult them and their mothers? You do it because you love them and you know that they can take it and reply with clever comebacks. And for the most part they know that you aren't serious about it. Now there are always lines that can be crossed, but for the most part I don't think that I cross them on purpose. Now I may make a joke about down syndrome or hanging myself in the presence of someone who was close to that situation (either friend or family) and offend that person, but I don't do it on purpose. Though I probably shouldn't be joking about shit like that anyway because it's no laughing matter. But often I'm quick witted that I just say the first thing that comes in my head instead of thinking about the consequences of my actions. My mouth gets me in a whole lot of trouble, and I guarantee you that many an usher or police officer will tell me to sit down, shut up! and families will move to different sections to get away from us.

But to be quite honest with you I would probably hate everything about him if I wasn't a fan of the Milwaukee Brewers. It's like that friend you have that's a complete asshole but you put up with him because he's your asshole. Some things you just learn to deal with. And if Braun is going to put up these kind of numbers I will have no problem dealing with him in 2011:

.313 AVG, 33 HRs, 108 RBIs, 102 runs scored, heavily involved in creating the new Italian dishes and appetizers at Graffito and getting a restraining order against the two lunatics in the left field bleachers who keep harassing him.

So while all of the other Brewers fans may be totally in love with Ryan Braun, there's one player that no one really loves. Centerfielder Carlos Gomez came exactly as advertised - speedy defensive player, a plus arm with no accuracy and poor plate discipline leading to the inability to get on base - so I don't see what everyone is bitching about. And even though 2 teams (the Mets and the Twins) have already given up on him, I'm going to make my first bold prediction for the 2011 season - Carlos Gomez is going to have a breakout year. But what exactly is a breakout year for a player who sports a career .247 AVG with a .293 OBP to go with 17 career HRs and 123 RBIs? I'd tell you right now, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Casey McGehee (4 of 25)

2011-03-09T07:58:00.009-06:00

3rd baseman Casey McGehee was the 2010 Brewers team MVP as voted by his teammates, the local media and the fans. I'm not sure who actually got the final say to make it official, but everyone here in Milwaukee could agree that he was the best offensive player last year. He did lead the team in RBIs with 104 but Braun (103) and Hart were right there behind him in that category. And although he was 5th in homeruns with 23 and trailed Braun in batting average (.285 versus .304) it was his consistency, hard working attitude, blue collar mentality and lineup position that elevated him to be crowned king of the offensive mountain. The national media focuses more on Braun because he is more flashy, which is easy to do when you're the team mouthpiece wearing sliver glitter dragon t-shirts. And although Braun makes more highlight real plays and hits game winning walkoff homeruns, he had too much of an up and down season to be reliable. In 2010 Casey McGehee was as steady as they came, and he certainly had to be because of the position that he was put in.

It's not easy batting 5th in the lineup when Prince Fielder is in front of you in the cleanup spot. Although Prince had a down year offensively, he still is one of the most feared hitters in all of the National League. Because he has the skill and power to dramatically change an inning by socking balls out of the park, it is very rare that he will get any good pitches to hit. And once Fielder stopped swinging at garbage pitches his walk total and on base percentage increased dramatically. In fact Fielder led the NL with 114 walks, 17 of which were intentional. So that means that they pitched around Fielder to get to McGehee, and more often than not he made them pay for doing so. In my years of watching the Prince Fielder Brewers, I've watched 3 managers struggle to find a good bat for the #5 spot in the lineup, and after watching 2 seasons of Casey McGehee I think it's pretty safe to say that we finally found one.

But things haven't always been so good for McGehee. He spent 5 years in the Cubs minor league system blocked at the major league level by Aramis Ramirez, and was no longer a young prospect at age 26 when the Cubs placed him on waivers. But Doug Melvin saw something he liked and picked him up. And the rest is history. You never heard McGehee complain about playing time in 2009 while he waited for a spot in the batting order and on the field. And at Brewers on Deck prior to the 2010 season when I told him that he should have been NL Rookie of the Year he humbly dismissed that idea, and said that there were other players that were more deserving of the award (he finished 6th). When I told him he was our Rookie of the Year he seemed embarrassed, almost not feeling worthy of the spotlight. Now this was just a small encounter that I had with Casey, but there is just something about the way he goes about his business on and off the field that I highly respect and appreciate. All the intangibles he brings plus his on the field contributions are what solidifies his status as team MVP. So it wouldn't surprise me if McGehee was in the conversation for team MVP again with stats like these:

.279 AVG, 21 HRs, 105 RBIs and perhaps a little more National attention, although Prince Fielder in a contract year and Ryan Braun's clothing line will distract them from seriously appreciating what he does.

Casey McGehee will continue to work hard and produce on the field, so it doesn't matter to me what he does off the field. One player who's off the field interests concern me is Ryan Braun. Between his clothing line, bat company, multiple restaurants, friendship with Aaron Rodgers and him being a normal 27 year old with millions of dollars, I'm worried that it might distract him from what he is really supposed to do - play baseball. But I really shouldn't be concerned considering that in his 4 year career he's averaged .308 at the plate, 32 homeruns, 105 RBIs and 177 hits. But even though he's probably our best all around player, no one is exempt from being made fun of. And that is why Kevin and I sit in the left field bleachers and heckle Ryan Braun. And in tomorrow's video, we give him a taste of what to expect from us in the 2011 season. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Yuniesky Betancourt (3of 25)

2011-03-08T07:45:00.008-06:00

I don't have too much to say about new Brewers shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt. Usually when I say that, I end up typing a god damn autobiography of the player and lead you through his ascension from childhood into the major leagues. Shit never goes the way I plan here at Pookon's Ill Blog, which is surprising considering that I am the sole contributor, editor in chief and owner as well as the main financial bankroll of this site. So you would think that I would have final say on what goes on here. Unfortunately my friend Ron Diaz and some unnamed fellow from San Juan have the last word when it comes to the content here. Screw em. I'm tired of those Puerto Rican bastards running my life. Cuban born shortstop Betancourt came to the Brewers in the Zack Greinke trade because we were in need of a shortstop after sending them Alcides Escobar. If Escobar were not included in the trade, and if we had another prospect in the minors to play shortstop (remember that we traded JJ Hardy in Winter 2009 giving Escobar the job) Betancourt would not be on our team. So on Opening Day 2011, he will be our shortstop by default. That doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve the job, but let's fact it, there are no better options. So until another shortstop prospect moves up in the minor league system or we resign JJ Hardy when he becomes a free agent after this season, Betancourt is the Milwaukee Brewers shortstop for the foreseeable future.

The other shortstops in the Brewers minor league system are Luis Cruz (who has a shot to make the major league team as a utility infielder), Zealous Wheeler (who has one of the coolest names in the history of baseball) who has yet to play a game above AA and the rest of the players who played shortstop last year are guys that I've never even heard of. While that certainly works out well for Betancourt who has no one in line to take his job, it really doesn't bode well for the organization as a whole and for the future. But as can be seen by the Brewers trading away the future in Escobar, Lorenzo Cain, Jeremy Jefress, Jake Ordorizzi and Brett Lawrie, the future isn't as important as the present. So for the present Yuniesky Betancourt is our shortstop. Which is why I identified resigning Craig Counsell as the #2 priority in the offseason behind improving the pitching staff.

All that I'm asking for Betancourt in 2011 is to not be terrible. For what it looks like he's an offense first shortstop and last year with the Kansas City Royals he set career highs in homeruns (16) and RBIs (78). I know that he may be a liability in the field, but as long as he produces more than he hurts the team, then I guess that I will be fine with it. But do we really have any other options? The answer is yes. And that would be veteran utility man, the 41year old Craig Counsell. Now I will talk more about Counsell later in the month, but I do believe that he will see a good amount of playing time at shortstop because his glove has always been better than his bat, whereas Betancourt seems like the exact opposite. But who knows? Betancourt may come out and surprise us by having a career year both at the plate and on the field. That's the beauty of getting players like this because I don't know shit about them. It's going to take a whole year's worth of intense observation before I can form a conclusion on Betancourt's 2011 season. But for the time being I am going to predict this:

.263 AVG, .292 OBP (which is unacceptable), 14 HRs, 78 RBIs, 136 games played, 17 errors

If Betancourt is all about the offense, then what is Casey McGehee all about - mega offense? He is not known for his glove (but then again show me a player on the Brewers who is) but he certainly is no slouch with the bat. If Ty Webb were to tell McGehee not to sell himself short because he is a tremendous slouch, I would tell Ty Webb that he's giving Casey no respect. It's awfully difficult to follow up a very good rookie season with a very impressive 2nd year. A lot of players fall victim to the sophomore slump, but in year #2 with the Brewers McGehee ended up leading the team in RBIs with 104. But will he complete the trifecta of fine seasons with the Milwaukee Brewers? I think he will, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Rickie Weeks (2 of 25)

2011-03-07T08:15:00.001-06:00

When the Brewers signed the Predator Monster 's little brother 2nd baseman Rickie Weeks (the Predator Monster himself Manny Ramirez signed with the Tampa Bay Rays) to a 4-5 year contract extension, I jumped for joy. And then when I realized that at any moment he could activate his cloaking device, turn invisible and seek and destroy me in the stands if I happened to make an unfavorable comment, I got a little worried. But then my mind was put to ease because I have never said anything negative about Rickie Weeks. The only thing that could be construed as negative was when I worried that he could never stay healthy, as evident by the fact that prior to the 2010 season, the most games he played in a year was 129 in 2008. In 2009 he was crushing the ball, which led him to a stat line of .272 AVG, 9 HRs and 24 RBIs before his season ended in mid May. While the majority of Brewers fans finally got a glimpse of the real Rickie Weeks, I believed that he could do it all along. I've been a big supporter of him since he debuted in 2003 and I was at the game when he hit his 1st major league career homerun off of Johan Santana in 2005. In 2010 when he stayed healthy on the field for an entire year and had what many people consider a "breakout" year, I made some room for all of the new Weeks fans on the bandwagon that I had been driving for the last 5 years.

In 2010 how could you not love Rickie Weeks? He was one of the most productive leadoff hitters in all baseball and posted a stat line of .269 AVG, .366 OBP, 29 HRs, 83 RBIs and 112 runs scored. Sure he still did commit too many errors (3rd most in the National League with 15 behind Dan Uggla's 18 and Skip Schumaker's 16) and had some poor throws turning double plays that don't technically count as errors, but when you have the offensive power that Weeks does you take the good with the bad. But Weeks is improving defensively and if you watch as much Brewers baseball as I do (which is impossible, but try to imagine that you could) you can see that he is putting forth the effort to get better. That is the one part of his game that I bet you he would say that he would most like to improve upon. When I met him at Brewers on Deck 2011 I was all giggly to be standing next to him. He's only like 5'10" on a good day, but he's fucking ripped. It's hard to see it in jeans and the loose jersey, but I could tell by his handshake that he could probably kill me if he wanted to. That and the dreadlocks, plus his killer instinct on the field are what makes him one of the elite killing machines in all of the universe. Had he gone toe to toe with Arnold in that movie I'm pretty sure that Dutch wouldn't have survived to become Douglas Quaid, Detective John Kimble, Howard Langston or the Governator of California. No one messes with Rickie Weeks and gets away with it.

Now that you got an idea of how big my man-crush is on Rickie, it's no surprise to you that I am predicting this kind of season for Rickie Weeks:

.275 AVG, .358 OBP, 27 HRs, 93 RBIs, 111 runs scored, millions of new fans (we're gonna need a bigger bandwagon) and no fan deaths despite the fact that he is a highly trained assassin.

Yuniesky Betancourt will be working alongside Weeks all season because he is the new starting shortstop and one third of the 4-6-3 and 6-4-3 double play combination on the field. The two most important defensive positions in the infield (in my opinion anyway) are 2nd base and shortstop because they need to work together to determine who will field the ball and who will cover 2nd base when a ball is hit up the middle. It has already been noted that Weeks is no defensive whiz, and Betancourt comes with a pretty poor rap sheet as well, averaging 19.66 errors over the last 6 seasons. Hopefully like Weeks his offense will make up for his poor defensive skills, But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Prince Fielder (1 of 25)

2011-03-06T08:30:00.004-06:00

The 2011 edition of Milwaukee Brewers "25 in 25" starts out with the biggest player on the roster - 1st baseman Prince Fielder. And I don't say that just because he is the largest player on the team, I say that because he is the most important player on the offensive side of the ball. But enough about the weight jokes already. I mean just look at him! That picture was taken in the offseason when he visited China as a MLB ambassador to try and spread the love of baseball there or some shit. He's looking rather trim though. He must have been hanging out up in the gym with Fergie just working on his fitness. I'm sure that he just got tired of people giving him a hard time about his body and the fact that he would eventually break down because of his weight. The big reason he's out to prove them wrong is because this is his last year with the Brewers before he hits free agency for the first time. He's looking for that big contract (which some speculate is 7-8 years at $20-25 million a year) and if he is a liability defensively, that limits his suitors to AL teams where he eventually shift to the DH role.

Since there is no way the Brewers can afford to pay one player that amount when the team's payroll is in the $80-90 million range, many people (including me) expected the Brewers to trade him in the offseason less he walk away and we get nothing but 2 compensation draft picks in return. That's because the Brewers needed pitching, and Prince was (pun intended) their biggest trading piece. It's ok that I still use weight jokes because I'm a big guy myself. And much like people of ethic backgrounds can call each other names that are otherwise deemed racial slurs, I can call him fat or big boned. But if he keeps in shape I can't make fun of him anymore, so I guess I have to hit up the gym and stay on pace with him. But I have no motivation to do so. It's not like I have $180 million dollars hanging in the balance. But this isn't about me, it's about Prince Fielder.

So now it's time for everyone to come to the conclusion that Prince will be playing for a different team next season. Unless his price tag drops considerably, we just cannot afford a player of his superstar caliber. But instead of getting upset about it, whining that baseball doesn't have a salary cap and that small market teams can never compete (which is all a bunch of bullshit in my opinion, but that rant is too long for today) let's instead focus on the positive - we have one more year of Prince Fielder to lead what should be one of the top 5 offenses in all of baseball. So I decided to talk about Fielder for "25 in 25" in front of the only venue in this town big enough to hold a talent like his - Miller Park, home to your Milwaukee Brewers.

So that in a nutshell is what I think about Prince Fielder. But like I said in the video, I believe that he will have a good year but not a great year. The pressure of his upcoming free agency and contract will weigh heavily (pun once again intended) on him and he will struggle because of it. But I'm still going to say that Prince will have a better 2011 than 2010 because of the maturity and improvement of the hitters in the lineup surrounding him. So I'm saying that Fielder's 2011 season could look something like this:

.276 batting AVG, .404 OBP, 37 HRs, 105 RBIs, 103 runs scored and once again be able to have fun and do goofy home run celebrations like the "bowling pin explosion" in 2009 now that Ron Roenicke is going to let the players be themselves.

One of the factors in Prince getting over the century mark in RBIs is his good buddy Rickie Weeks having another healthy season. If Rickie can get on base (and he does when he's physically in the lineup) he scores runs because of the characters hitting behind him. Prince Fielder will be a free agent after the 2011 season, but Weeks signed a contract extension that will keep him around for another 4-5 years. Now that Bill Hall is off winning games and hitting Grannies somewhere else, Rickie Weeks is my favorite player on the Brewers. So no one in Milwaukee was happier than I was when I heard he would be sticking around for a while. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

-pookon-

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 Brewers in 25 Days - Season Intro

2011-03-04T18:15:00.006-06:00

Hey Brewers fans! You know what time of year it is. The snow is receding, the days are getting longer and baseball is being played down in Florida and Arizona. Spring Training has begun, which means that people like me are counting down the days until the regular season begins. By the time that this article goes live there will be 26 days until March 31, which is Opening Day for the Milwaukee Brewers against the Reds in Cincinnati. And back by popular demand is my daily blog entries "25 Brewers in 25 Days" that you all loved so much. That's right folks, once again in the 25 days leading up to Opening Day I will be profiling 1 player each day who will be on the opening day roster. There is a bit of turnaround from the Opening Day roster in 2010, but the majority of the players in 2011 are holdovers from last year with the exception of prized pitchers Zack Greinke and Sean Marcum that were acquired in trades. We'll get to that in the coming days but I just wanted to introduce the series as well as bring you my overall predictions plus a brand new feature to 2011's version of "25 in 25."

Since the majority of the players are coming back from last year, I decided to spice this year's "25 in 25" segment up with a daily video blog talking about that day's player. I could toss out random statistics and junk at you, but I'd much rather be random and wing it. You might get some wicked improve and you might get some swearing, but I promise that you will get some of the most passionate Brewers talk that you've ever heard. I love this team. I dream about them. I wake up in the morning and talk Brewers. I have a closet full of their apparel. I have tattoos. I watch every game and listen to every pre and post game show. Hell I even have worked at Miller Park for the last 10 years. Some might call it an obsession, but I call it being a fan. And when you're a fan of something you just want to share your love of that thing with everyone else. And for the next 25 days I will be talking Brewers. Hopefully (hint hint) I will be able to get a couple of you to join me and talk about our 2011 Brewers. Anticipation has never been higher, and I know that you too have Brewers fever. So don't you hide it under a bushel - NO! You gotta let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine all the time.

Predictions for the 2011 season:

The Brewers will finish with a 91-71 record and win the NL Central Division
The Reds will finish 2nd, the Cardinals 3rd, Cubs 4th, Astros 5th and Pirates 6th
The Brewers will set an all-time attendance record
The Brewers will not lose more than 5 games in a row
Ryan Braun, Rickie Weeks and Yovani Gallardo will make the NL All-Star Team (I originally picked Zack Greinke on 3/4/11 then changed it on 3/31/11 because Greinke will miss the first month of the season. Oh yeah, and Gallardo is a better pitcher. Yeah I said it, and I believe it.)
By the end of the season, Sombreros will have taken over the left field bleachers and our numbers will be so big, the Brewers will be forced to recognize us with an official fan club like the Bucket Head Brigade

Check back daily to Pookon's Ill Blog for the next episode of 25 Brewers in 25 Days. Tomorrow I will be profiling the big man himself (who actually isn't that big anymore): Prince Fielder. Despite everyone and his Mom thinking he was going to be traded if we were going to get quality pitching in return, he's still here to lead the 2011 offense. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email:pookondotcom@gmail.com

2010 Milwaukee Brewers Year End Review - Pitchers

2011-03-04T00:15:00.003-06:00

You can point fingers anywhere you want as far as the lack of success since the Milwaukee Brewers went to the postseason as the NL Wild Card team in 2008. Most people point the finger at the lack of quality pitching. Losing Ben Sheets and CC Sabathia is enough to turn over any pitching staff, but the offense was supposed to be good enough to overcome it, right? Almost. In 2009 the Brewers had the 26th worst (out of 30 MLB teams) pitching staff, and were only slightly better than the Washington Nationals for worst in the National League. That year the offense was majestic and helped the Brewers finish at 80-82, which was a disappointment considering that the year before they made it to the playoffs for the first time in 26 years. So I was one of many that thought we could compete in 2010 with an average staff only if the offense continues to put up big numbers. Gallardo was out for the majority of the 2008 season do to a torn ACL, and he had a pretty good 2009 season (13-12, 3.73 ERA) so you had to figure in 2010 he would show some more improvement and continue to mature as the ace of this staff. 2009 also saw fill-ins like Mike Burns, Carlos Villanueva, Seth McClung pitching in the rotation with perennial underperformers Jeff Suppan, Dave Bush and Manny Parra, along with batting practice tosser Braden Looper. That group was just terrible. In order to right those wrongs, Doug Melvin signed the 2nd best free agent pitcher Randy Wolf and brought back a steady innings eater veteran in Doug Davis. He also added veteran reliever LaTroy Hawkins to a bullpen that was coming back mostly intact from last season that was actually quite good but broke down after the All-Star break because the starters failed to go more than 5 innings per game. Since the bullpen had to cover on average 4 innings per game all of the pitchers out there were overworked. Gallardo would certainly improve, and Wolf and Davis average around 200 innings a year, so we appeared set going into 2010. But like always, appearances can be deceiving. Gallardo was good but not great, Wolf sucked for the first 3 months of the season, and Davis was ineffective when healthy and spent the majority of the season on the DL. Add to that a bullpen that had a complete overhaul by the end of the season, and of the 8 pitchers I listed as part of the bullpen, only 3 of them would finish the season in the bullpen. The pitching staff in 2010 was better than the 2009 one, but not by much. They still finished 26 out of 30 MLB teams, but they moved up to 14th worst out of 16 National League teams as the Diamondbacks and Pirates took those final 2 spots. Add to the fact that the offense wasn't as good as in 2009 and the Brewers finished the season with a 77-85 record. You can blame it on the pitchers, blame Grandpa Macha, blame it on the offense and hell, you can even blame it on the rain. But let's face it, the game begins and ends with pitching. And in 2010 they just weren't that good again. But before we turn the page to 2011 with the very much improved pitching staff, we must first compare my preseason predictions from my "25 Brewers in 25 Days" segment to the actual 2010 stats upon the completion of the 2010 season. And even though we are trying to forget about the past, here we go.

Starting pitcher - Yovani Gallardo 2010 prediction: 3.21 ERA, 16-8 record, 221 innings pitched, 215 strikeouts, .225 batting avg, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs

2010 actual stats: 3.84 ERA, 14-7 record, 185 innings pitched, 200 strikeouts, .254 batting avg, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs

Gallardo started out the year on a roll. He made his first Opening Day start (albeit a loss) and stood at 8-4 with a 2.58 ERA, 111 innings pitched and 122 strikeouts, which earned him his first All-Star Game selection. But then he tweaked his side (a left rib cage strain) which caused him to miss pitching in the All-Star game. He just wasn't the same after the break, and his 2nd half stats were ugly for an ace of the rotation - 6-3 record, 5.77 ERA, 73 innings and 78 strikeouts. But although some may not qualify him as an ace quite yet, he still did get 14 wins, which is something that Ben Sheets never did. And Gallardo is only 25 years old and really only has had 2 full seasons in the majors, so there's plenty of upside, maturity and improvement for this young right hander. And since Manny Parra will never come around, for now he is the sole representative of our homegrown starting pitching. So he has to succeed or else our farm system is a total failure. But it won't be, because Gallardo is the man. Especially at the plate. In the National League in 2010 there were 12 home runs hit by pitchers, and Gallardo hit 1/3 of them (or 4 for those of you who can't so simple math.) That feat, plus his .254 batting average (which was better than Gomez, Escobar and Kottaras to name few) earned him his first Silver Slugger award, given out to the best hitter at every position. 2o1o was just another stepping stone towards greatness for this young stud.

Starting pitcher - Randy Wolf 2010 prediction: 3.85 ERA, 13-10 record, 203 innings pitched, 152 strikeouts, 1 howl from me for every strikeout.

2010 actual stats: 4.17 ERA, 13-12 record, 215.2 innings pitched, 142 strikeouts, some howls but nowhere near the total of 152

When the Brewers signed Wolf prior to the 2010 season he was the 2nd best free agent on the market. When he sucked big time with a 6-8 record and a 4.56 ERA prior to the All-Star break people were already labeling him the left handed Jeff Suppan. His ineffectiveness and 3 year $29 million contract certainly put him the same breath as that loser, but I knew that Wolf was better than that. And I told everyone to calm and see how he pitches in the 2nd half. And everyone was able to relax because after the break he was 7-4 with a 3.41 ERA. Unfortunately his first half struggles were a common theme across the entire pitching staff (excluding Gallardo) and the Brewers were out of the race long before the race for the postseason even started. So when everything finally gelled for him and others in August and September it was too little too late for the 2010 Milwaukee Brewers. Let's hope to God history doesn't repeat itself in 2011.

Starting pitcher - Doug Davis 2010 prediction: 4.08 ERA, 12-12 record, 208 innings pitched, 138 strikeouts, 98 walks

2010 actual stats: 7.51 ERA, 1-4 record, 38.1 innings pitched, 34 strikeouts, 21 walks

Signing Doug Davis was actually a decent move on Melvin's part consider the need for pitching and the couple of good years he was coming off of with the Diamondbacks. I personally didn't care for it because I remember suffering through Davis' starts from the first time he pitched in Milwaukee (2003-2006) because he worked slow and walked a lot of batters. But I would have been ok with it had he put up numbers similar to his 2009 season with the Arizona Diamondbacks - 9-14, 4.12 ERA with 203 innings pitched. His win total would have been better with the Brewers and the number of innings would have certainly saved our bullpen arms had he stayed healthy. He spent the majority of the season on the DL thanks to a heart condition and elbow problems. For $4.25 million dollars we got an 8 ERA and 38 innings. But how was Doug Melvin supposed to know that? That's the problem with small market teams when they make a gamble (Eric Gagne anyone?) - it ends up biting them real bad if that player fails. And that is exactly what happened. So it's pretty safe to say we won't see Doug Davis putting on a Brewers uniform for a 3rd stint with the Brewers any time soon.

Starting pitcher - Dave Bush 2010 prediction: 4.35 ERA, 12-11 record, 189 innings pitched, 132 strikeouts and the distinction of being the only player on the roster where I can shout out his name and totally be referring to something else.

2010 actual stats: 4.54 ERA, 8-13 record, 174.1 innings pitched, 107 strikeouts, and I still love Bush no matter what everyone else says about me.

Bush had a so-so 2010 season which would be his final one in Milwaukee. I always did like the fact that Bush went after hitters and threw strikes. Sometimes this came back to bite him as he gave up more than his fair share of homeruns (28 in 2010) and always seemed to run into a wall in the 6th inning. I don't think fans in Milwaukee gave him enough respect during the time he was here, but in all honesty he was just average. He was no better than a #5 pitcher but he was always surrounded by 3 other #5 pitcher's in the starting rotation. I do wish the best for Bush in the future, but average pitching just won't cut it anymore (it never should have) when you are trying to put together a winning team. So long Bush, it's been an up and down 5 years for you in Milwaukee, but just know that you at least had one fan here who was always cheering you on.

Starting / relief pitcher - Chris Narveson 2010 prediction: 3.92 ERA, 8-3 record, 98 innings pitched, 6 starts and unable to become a permanent fixture in the starting rotation thanks to Wolf, Davis and Parra (3 other lefties in the starting rotation.) He also holds the distinction of being one of the players on the team (along with Parra) who's name sounds so much cooler when you say it like a Pirate. Chris Naaaaarrrrr-veson.

2010 actual stats: 4.99 ERA, 12-9 record, 167.2 innings pitched, 28 starts

I didn't realize until now that Naaaaaaaaarrrrveson made 28 starts in 2010. He started the season in the bullpen because he was out of minor league options, which means that if he didn't make the major league team he could be claimed off of waivers from another team instead of providing depth in the minors. So instead he provided depth in the majors. Jeff Suppan and Manny Parra battled for worst starting pitcher on the team, and the award only goes to Suppan because of his longevity of suckiness. So Narveson was a starter then by default. Someone needs to toe the rubber in the first few innings of the game after all. And that is where Narveson had his troubles. I don't feel like looking up the stats this time, but I swear that he gave up at least 1 run in the 1st inning of every one of his starts. If I was going to a game and I knew he was pitching, I would stay in the parking lot drinking until the bottom of the 2nd. I just got sick and tired of seeing him give up early runs. We used to joke that he would give up a "gentleman's 3" in the first inning, which is a nice way of saying he fucked up the beginning of the games. But after that he was usually pretty good. So if he figures out a way to get out of the 1st without putting the Brewers in a big hole, he's going to be a great asset to the starting rotation and be the perfect #5 man. I'm high on Narveson, mostly because I love talking like a pirate and looking like an asshole while doing it.

Starting / relief pitcher - Manny Parra 2010 prediction: 4.14 ERA, 13-10 record, 171 innings pitched, 120 strikeouts and the be Manny that we always knew that he could be.

2010 actual stats: 5.02 ERA, 3-10 record, 122 innings pitched, 129 strikeouts

Panny Marra. That's what my cousin Tommy and I call him. What the hell are we going to do with you? I think it's pretty safe to say that he is done as a starting pitcher. Once again I don't feel like looking it up, but I saw with my own eyes how he would often break down the 3rd time through the lineup when he was a starter. The answer to that? They made him a reliever and he would never see the same batter 3 times in a game. And he excelled in that role. It's a shame though because he certainly has the physical talent and all the tools to be an effective starter, but he just can't get his head on straight enough to put those skills to use as a starting pitcher. I'm with Doug Melvin for sticking with this guy and holding on to homegrown talent, and he certainly will be with the team in 2011 in the bullpen. But if he fails in that role, it's don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

Relief Pitcher - Trevor Hoffman 2010 prediction: 2.12 ERA, 3-1 record, 35 saves in 38 chances, blow my mind with "Hell's Bells" for another year and record save #600 of his storied Hall of Fame career.

2010 actual stats: 5.89 ERA, 2-7 record, 10 saves in 15 chances, and one final Hells Bells to end them all the night of save #600

Trevor Hoffman. What a rough year he had. It was crazy to predict that at age 42 he would repeat one of his career best years that he had in 2009. After converting 37 of 41 saves with a 1.83 ERA it was a no brainer to resign him for 2010. And then he blew 5 of 10 saves in April in March that helped contribute to that 9 game losing streak that cost the Brewers their season and Hoffman's job as closer. No one doubted his heart and mind, and his work ethic was top notch. He was more physically fit than guys half his age. And although it hurt his pride and his longtime fans to see him in a setup role for John Axford, he performed well enough to earn a few more save opportunities. Then on September 7, 2010 a light crowd of less than 25,000 stood on its' feet when "Hells Bells" echoed off Miller Park's walls and roof panels. And Trevor Hoffman, despite all of the struggles that he went through in 2010 notched save #600. Some people may not give a lot of credit to closers or think that #600 is not a big deal (because it will soon be eclipsed by the New York Yankee's Mariano Rivera) but I was there that day sitting above the bullpen in the left field bleachers when Trevor jogged out in the 9th. And to me that day will be as memorable as other Brewers milestones like Robin Yount's 3,000th hit and Ben Sheet's 18 strikeouts (both of which I was also in attendance for). There's just something about seeing history and in the case of Hoffman, something that had never been done before. So even though Hoffman didn't help out too much on the field, it's the intangibles that he brought to the young arms and minds on the pitching staff that will carry over to 2011 and beyond. And if he was able to help out guys like John Axford and Zach Braddock, then at least some good can come out of a bad situation.

Relief Pitcher - LaTroy Hawkins 2010 prediction: 3.23 ERA, 4-2 record, 5 saves, 45 strikeouts and a better understanding to the fans of Milwaukee of what kind of pitcher he is.

2010 actual stats: 8.44 ERA, 0-3 record, 0 saves, 18 strikeouts, 16 innings pitched

I questioned this signing. It came out of nowhere and it was especially puzzling considering that he was signed to a 2 year contract. We have seen first hand the dangers of signing relievers to multi-year deals (David Riske) and once again it didn't work out in our favor. This 38 year old only pitched 16 innings and when he did get in a game he was terrible, Guillermo Mota style. We used to use the phrase Say no ta Mota in 2008, pleading with Ned Yost not to use him in a game. Sadly for us Hawkins wasn't around enough in 2010 for us to come up with something clever to shout at him. Thankfully he will be around again in 2011, but hopefully he'll be good enough that we don't have to make fun of him. But we will anyway because that is what we do.

Relief Pitcher - Todd Coffey 2010 prediction: 2.75 ERA, 3-3 record, 78.2 innings pitched, 57 strikeouts, 11.95 seconds fastest sprint time to the mound and millions of fans knowing when it's Coffey Time.

2010 actual stats: 4.76 ERA, 2-4 record, 62.1 innings pitched, 56 strikeouts

It's Coffey Time!! Or else it used to be. Coffey was the workhorse of the bullpen in 2009 but he couldn't match the success he had in 2009 despite being a fan favorite. His sprint in from the bullpen got the crowd fired up in a way that only the Klement's Racing Sausages could, but that didn't help him find success on the field. He was still decent in 2010, but since he was due a raise through arbitration, the Brewers decided not to tender him a contract, making him a free agent in 2011. I'm sure that the Brewers (and the fans) would have loved to keep him around, but at the end of the day it's a business and he simply was going to cost too much for the production that you would have gotten out of him. So I'll miss Coffey. He sprinted out of my heart just as fast as he sprinted into it. He's another player that I wish the best for in 2011.

Relief Pitcher - Mitch Stetter 2010 prediction: 2.79 ERA, 3-1 record, 68 games appeared in but 42 innings pitched and the same awesome delivery.

2010 actual stats: 14.73 ERA, 0-0 record, appeared in 9 games, 3.2 innings pitched

Mitch Stetter appeared in 9 games, 3.2 innings. That pretty much sums it up right there. He just wasn't that good, and since Manny Parra and Chris Narveson were stewing around in the bullpen there just wasn't a need for a situational lefty. And then Zach Braddock was called up in late May and excelled in that situational lefty role so much to the point that Stetter wasn't even one of the September callups. I think Stetter still could be part of the Brewers future, but he's going to need an injury or ineffective play (and knock on wood those don't happen) from a fellow reliever to see the Major Leagues in 2011. But it is still nice to have that bullpen depth just in case. Especially becaise Stetter is just damn filthy when facing lefties.

Relief Pitcher - Claudio Vargas 2010 prediction: 3.17 ERA, 1-2 record, 48 innings pitched and the last player named when you ask the common fan to name all of the players on the 25 man roster.

2010 actual stats: 7.32 ERA, 1-0 record, 19.2 innings pitched

Claudio Vargas is garbage and bringing him back in 2010 was a poor decision. Sure, he had a 1.78 ERA with the Brewers after they acquired him in a trade with the Dodgers in 2009 and he was pretty cheap at just $900,000. Listen to me, calling $900,000 cheap. You know what I could do with that kind of money? Throw one hell of a sexy party. And save some of the leftover money to buy a replacement liver that I'm eventually going to need. But in baseball money anything under a million bucks is chump change. So when he struggled mightly along with the majority of the bullpen, he was cut loose and replaced by minor league talent. Now that both Doug Davis and Claudio Vargas have both failed, could we please stop bringing back former Brewers pitchers?

Relief Pitcher - Carlos Villanueva 2010 prediction: 4.84 ERA, 4-6 record, 52 innings pitched all in relief and the first one to get sent down to the minors when a roster spot is needed. But he will also be the first one recalled back the Majors should someone get injured.

2010 actual stats: 4.61 ERA, 2-0 record, 52.2 innings pitched (all in relief), but spent the last half of 2010 in AAA.

Carlos Villanueva wasn't that bad in 2010. But truth be told he wasn't that good either. I don't remember him pitching 52 innings in in 2010 and I watch every single game. That really shows you just how effective he was this past season. I kind of remember when he was sent down to the minors, and I wasn't surprised when he wasn't called back up until September. And even then he threw only a handful of innings that month and just like that he was gone again. Carlos was versatile as a starter and reliever but with all due respect, he just wasn't very good at either one. And like all of the other relievers that went before him, so he went as well. And no offense to him or his family, but he won't be missed. Just another name in the revolving Rolodex of pitchers for the Brewers.

Starting pitcher - Jeff Suppan 2010 prediction: He sucks, is overpaid and is a complete waste of space. Suppan sucked the Brewers into a financial hole which crippled the team. But it was their fault for giving him the money...

2010 actual stats: 0-2 record, 7.84 ERA, 15 games, 2 starts

Fuck Jeff Suppan. He should have to give some of that money back. When the Brewers finally cut the dead weight that was once a decent pitcher the entire city of Milwaukee cheered. I didn't write an entry for him because he wasn't on the 25 man roster when the season opened. He started the season on the DL, and for all I cared he could have stayed there. But even though he eventually pitched a couple of innings in 2010, I still keep him another DL, one that has many names. Disappointing List. Disgusting List. Doodoo List. Deadweight List. DeadToMe List. Dingy List. DudedUpGutterTrash List. And so on and so on and so on and so on. I don't have all day. But I really wanted to write about Suppan because I had so much to say about him, but now that I have my platform for doing so, I just don't feel like it anymore. It's obvious now that signing Suppan was a complete and utter failure, but at the time of the signing I was excited about it. Suppan had just come off of a fantastic postseason where he had a big hand in helping the Cardinals win the World Series and he was brought on board to add stability to the pitching staff. I never expected him to be an ace; that's ludicrous for me even to type it out right here. But all that I asked is that he finish around .500 with a 4 ERA and 200 innings pitched. Was that too much to ask? Apparently that was, and the 4 year $42 million contract is the biggest bust in Brewers history, which is why we definitely cannot resign Prince Fielder and give him the $20-25 million a year that he will command. If $42 million saddled us for 4 years, think how much $160-180 over 7-8 years will do to us? That's another topic for another day, but basically a small market team like Milwaukee cannot afford to make costly mistakes, and that is exactly what Jeff Suppan turned out to be. The Soup's gone bad. Send that shit back to the kitchen.

So if you were able to make it through all of that reading without making your head hurt (and I doubt you did because it made my head hurt writing it) you will have learned at least 2 things - pitching is what drives a team towards success and pitchers come and go in the blink of an eye. By the end of the season guys like John Axford, Braddock and Kameron Loe were the go to guys in the bullpen while Narveson and Chris Capuano were getting the starts at the back end of the rotation. Some of the guys who helped to stabilize the pitching in the latter half of the year will be back again in 2011 but how will they fare in a full season? That my friends is a topic that will be covered in a few days. Brewers, Brewers, Keep Turnin' Up the Heat!

- pookon -

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