Beer Pong Death Match

(9:15 pm) December 29th, 2005 is a day that I will remember until I'm 70 and senile and no longer able to remember things. That was the day that me and my friends played a beer pong death match. If you aren't familiar with beer pong, our games are played like this. Each player puts 6 cups in a triangle formation in front of them on a table measuring 4 feet wide by 8 feet long. Players take turn throwing ping pong balls into the cups, and when they are made, the person drinks the cup. This continues until one person's cups are all made. A death match setup consists of the entire table filled with cups side-to-side, eventually resulting in 144 total cups per side. At 1 beer for every 6 cups, each team is responsible for drinking 24 beers. We decided to play 2 on 2, with 1 person playing at each time. The partner is able to tag in when they feel like it, and the person playing can sit down when they need a rest. This particular night featured "Fresno" Chris and "Iceman" Scott vs. "Salmon" Matt and "Hundley" Ryan. The night started out with Hundley vs. Iceman, then Salmon vs. Fresno. These were the typical matchups throughout the night. At the beginning, when each side had 144 cups, it was common for each player to shoot 2 for 2. As the game progressed, and cups began to disappear from each side, each person began to make 1 for every 2 shots. A 50% shooting average is nothing to scoff at, mind you. The game began at 8:45 pm, and now at 10:15 pm, the beer is warming and the drunkenness is quickly setting in. Each side has roughly 72 cups left, give or take, making now the unofficial "official" halfway point of tonight's main event. Every so often, a gamebreak is needed to show some highlights from around the league (which is just a fancy NFL way to say that a player needs to take a break to use the restroom.) (11:05 pm) Fresno just tagged me out, and promptly informed me that "all we have left is kill shots" meaning that we only have single cups left and none that exist in triangle-like groups. As of now, Fresno and Iceman have 40 cups vs. Salmon and Hundley's 24 cups, giving them a 16-cup advantage. Although this seems like a one-sided match up, anything can still happen because there is a lot of beer pong to play tonight. (11:15 pm) The game has been going on for 2 1/2 figured that I would be. I took a quick survey of the participants, and they agreed with my prior statement. According to ponger Matt Salmon, "I'm good, but not good enough to drive." That puts him over the legal limit, but leaves him with the ability to make rational decisions and function as a human being. Beer pong continues, and Fresno and I have yet to hit the 12 cups that line the back row of the beer pong table. For a guaranteed victory, we need to make the cups that lie furthest from our outstretched hands. Every shot that leaves Salmon's hand makes one cup for every two shots. (11:55 pm) Fresno and Iceman have combined Salmon and Hundley's cups, although Salmon/Hundley are close to combination. (12:00 midnight) 3 hours 15 minutes into the game, both teams are combined with Fresno/Iceman leading Salmon/Hundley by 3 cups. If Fresno goes 0 for 2, Iceman will have to come in to seal the deal. We now know that Salmon wears green underwear, proving his Irish heritage. The game is down to 6 (Salmon/Hundley) to 2 (Fresno/Iceman) and we are down to 2 kill shots. It now comes to the final shot. Fresno is left with 1 shot to hit for the victory. IT'S GOOD!!! FRESNO HITS THE WINNING CUP TO PROPEL FRESNO/ICEMAN TO VICTORY! After 3 1/2 grueling hours of beer pong, one team is declared to winner. Let's hope that this transcends to Mesquite, NV and the Team You're Gonna Beat can become the most ironic team to claim the World Series of Beer Pong Championship. (12:30 pm) Salmon/Hundley gains a little bit of retribution by beating Iceman/Fresno in a Vegas Style 6-cup exhibition match. Alls well that ends well, and each team has something to brag about. So the night comes to an end, and I finish this blog entry with the declaration that Iceman/Fresno won the inaugural Chateau Murray League Death match. This certainly won't be the last time we play a match of this style, and I look forward to providing you with insight from the front lines once again. For Pookon's Ill Blog, this is Scott "Iceman" Reck, signing off.

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