The bullpen is the Rodney Dangerfield of baseball - they don't get no respect. No respect! No respect at all I tell ya. I know I've said this before in this blog but I just have to keep hammering it home - you really only think about relief pitchers when they are bad. There's one exception though and that is the closer. The closer is treated like a rock star - the entrance music is cranked up high, the bullpen doors swing open and the crowd stands on its' feet and rains down thunderous applause. But like any rock star they can have a pretty magnificent fall from grace. Derrick Turnbow. Eric Gagne. Trevor Hoffman. John Axford. Is Jim Henderson next? In 2013 he came out of nowhere and established himself as the Brewers new closer and he had a fine season. Can he do that again? That's a topic for the 2014 season preview if I chose to do it this year. I'm still on the fence on that one. If you actually read this shit and enjoy it, let me know. I'd hate to think that I'm wasting my time writing this shit if no one reads it or cares if I keep on doing it year after year. But I've been doing these season previews and recaps since 2010, so why stop now? I know my pal JD constantly brings up something I said about Marco Estrada a couple of years ago (something about him filling a very important role/hole) and he won't let me forget it. So at least one person has been touched. And you know what they say about that. If you touch one person you're a kind and compassionate person. But if you touch many people you're a sex offender and placed on a national registry. That's bullshit. But where was I? Oh yeah - the bullpen.
There's only 8 guys in this article because I chose to include any guy who made a start last year in the article on the starting pitchers. So don't think that there was a whole lot of stability out there. There wasn't. Because of injuries/performance issues (some guys just couldn't get it up) they should have installed a revolving door in the bullpen that allowed players to constantly move between the bullpen, the starting rotation and AAA Nashville. While guys like Tom Gorzelanny, Donovan Hand, Tyler Thornburg and Alfredo Figaro did get 5-10 starts each, they pitched out of the bullpen for the majority of the season. If you didn't already read what I had to say about those jokers, simply direct your mouse to this link and click - 2013 Season Recap - The Starting Rotation. The bullpen wasn't the reason that the team finished with a 74-88 record because the bullpen as a whole had an ERA of 3.19, which was actually 3rd best in the NL. Didn't seem like they were that good, right? That's because the bullpen gets no respect. All you remember is how bad Michael Gonzalez was or how many saves John Axford blew. But the bullpen was a lot better than that. A hell of a lot better. I will attempt to convince you of that by the end of this article or pass out trying. I've been hitting the sauce rather hard while writing this. You kind of have to when you're talking about the 2013 season. Sometimes you just want to forget...
Michael Gonzalez #51, RP
2013 Prediction: 2-3 record, 4.25 ERA, 39 innings pitched, 40 strikeouts and unwilling to be called by any other name than the one written on his birth certificate.
2013 Actual: 0-3 record, 4.68 ERA, 50 innings pitched, 75 games, 60 strikeouts and one of the biggest disappointments in a long line of disappointing Michaels.
Michael is the 4th most popular name in America, so I'm sure that throughout history there have been tons of disappointing Michaels. I tried to name some with my head but then I remembered that my head can't do shit despite containing the brain, which is supposed to be all smart and shit. But seriously do you really want me to list history's most disappointing Michaels? Is that what you came here for? You're in the wrong place pal. But if you want to talk about how disappointing Michael Gonzalez was in 2013, then you did come to the right place. Michael (not Mike. Seriously. They called him Mike once in an interview when he was first signed and he made a big deal about it, insisting that they call him Michael. Who has that big of a stick up their ass that they are unwilling to go by a shorter version of their name? Jesus pal. Get over yourself already. You're not that special.) had a career worst year with a 4.68 ERA. His average over his 11 years in the Major Leagues is 3.14. Last year with the Washington Nationals he had a 3.03 ERA. So thanks for doing it in Milwaukee pal. At least he did it in a year when it really didn't matter. That made it a whole lot easier to run him out of town with torches and pitchforks. I really wish that he was closer to his career norms because he would have made a very lucrative trade piece in July. Who doesn't need a lefty specialist reliever in their bullpen? We could have gotten something for him instead of just barely using him in August (7.1 innings) and September (4.1 innings). He was worthless. At least to us. To him and his family, he was worth $2.25 million dollars. Must be nice. I'm worth about all I have in my wallet, which at this moment is about $3. How come when he sucks he gets millions of dollars and when I suck I get a call from my Mother? It doesn't seem right. We're both athletes. Why don't I get the same treatment? I'm even a movie star on top of that. Life is fucking bullshit. And it's totally unfair. But enough of my whining. It's time to move on to something else.
Brandon Kintzler #53, RP
2013 Prediction: 2-1 record, 3.75 ERA, 45.2 innings pitched, 42 strikeouts and back on track after he went balls to the walls and the wheels fell off.
2014 Actual: 3-3 record, 2.69 ERA, 77 innings pitched, 71 games, 58 strikeouts and now experienced enough to know that you can always put the wheels back on after you've gone balls to the walls and the wheels fell off.
If there was anyone who employs the "No Respect" idea more than anyone else in the Bullpen more than Brandon Kintzler, I'd sure love to meet him. If only that pitcher existed... You want to know why? Because if Closers are Rock Stars, Setup guys are the roadies. The Rock Star would never be able to get up on stage and thrill the crowd without the Roadie carrying the equipment, setting up and tuning all of the instruments, running the sound check, testing the mics and fucking all the groupies when the Rock Star is too tired to run a train on girls who just want to have sex with someone famous. I don't know about you, but I would totally have sex with that girl even if she was using me for backstage passes or to get closer to Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys. If that's taking one for the team then sign me up. But back to Brandon Kintzler. I won't be having sex with him and taking one for the team. I don't play for that team. Sorry pal. Kintzler was really damn good but not good enough for me to share a moment with him. Alright I'm done with that. For now... (Call me later Brandon). Here's a stat that you don't see brought up too often (because technically it isn't recognized as an official stat by MLB) - holds. According to Major League Baseball's Official Rules, regulations and statistics, "The hold is not an official statistic, but it was created as a way to credit middle relief pitchers for a job well done. Starting pitchers get wins, and closers -- the relief pitchers who come in at the end of the game -- get saves, but the guys who pitch in between the two rarely get either statistic. So what's the most important thing one of these middle relievers can do? 'Hold' a lead. If a reliever comes into a game to protect a lead, gets at least one out and leaves without giving up that lead, he gets a hold. But you can't get a save and a hold at the same time." Brandon Kintzler was tied for 4th in the NL (with Mark Melancon, who made the All-Star Team and is generally regarded as one of the top set-up pitchers in the league) with 26 holds. Even though Major League Baseball doesn't recognize holds, they do recognize his 2.69 ERA, which was good for first among all Brewers relievers (KRod only pitched 24 innings with the team in 2013, which in my opinion isn't enough to qualify for any pitching record). You might not believe me, but he was extremely underrated this year because I doubt the casual fan really even took notice of him. But I noticed him. That's what I do - notice dudes. No wonder I don't have a girlfriend...
Burke Badenhop #31, RP
2013 Prediction: 3-2 record, 3.86 ERA, 60.1 innings pitched, 41 strikeouts and saddled with the first name of Burke. Seriously, whose parents name their child Burke?
2013 Actual: 2-3 record, 3.47 ERA, 62.1 innings pitched, 63 games, 42 strikeouts and most average pitching performance on the Brewers roster by a guy named Burke.
What's it like growing up Burke? I wouldn't know. I first grew up on the streets, then I grew up in the suburbs and then I finally grew up in college. But I never grew up Burke. Edward grew up Burke (who lived from January 12, 1729 to July 9, 1797 and was an Irish statesman, author, orator, political theorist and philosopher, who, after moving to England, served for many years in the House of Commons of Great Britain as a member of the Whig party. But Edmund Burke is from a completely different century and couldn't possibly know what Badenhop went through. Times have changed. Delta also grew up Burke (she was born on July 30, 1956 and is an American television, stage and film actress, comedian, producer and author. Burke is best known for her role as Suzanne Sugarbaker in the CBS comedy series Designing Women which ran from 1986–1991). But I doubt Delta Burke knew what Badenhop was going through because the stage and screen are a different universe than the baseball diamond.
Brooke also grew up Burke (she was born September 8, 1971 and is an American actress, dancer, model and television personality. She is known for being smokin' hot, winning the seventh season of Dancing with the Stars and for co-hosting the show from 2010-2013) but she grew up a whole lot finer than the other Burkes that I have mentioned thus far. I had to include a picture just in case you didn't believe me. You're welcome. You might as well just go ahead and thank me for NOT including a picture of Edmund Burke or Delta Burke. Trust me on that one. This picture really revs my engine if you know what I mean. I don't know about you, but I've always had a soft spot (I was gonna say hard spot but that's gross) for when women pose topless with their hands cupping their boobs. That (among many other things) really does it for me. Oh baby. Even though I would love to sit and Google Image Search Brooke Burke all day (and I did spend at least an hour doing so) this is not supposed to be about her or any other Burkes other than Badenhop. But how did it end up being about them instead of him? Because I don't have anything to say about Badenhop. I'm a victim of doing what I criticized others about because I'm not giving him the respect he is due. But let's face it - he did just come in and do his job. He was a good middle reliever. Guys like him come and go every year when the bullpen gets restocked and he'll just be another name on the list of guys who played for the Brewers.
John Axford #59, RP
2013 Prediction: 2-5 record, 4.15 ERA, 70.1 innings pitched, 86 strikeouts, 33 for 40 in save opportunities and wishing he would have signed that multi-year deal for big time millions when the Brewers offered it to him.
2013 Actual: 6-7 record, 4.45 ERA, 54.2 innings pitched, 62 games, 54 strikeouts, 0 for 6 in save opportunities and just another Milwaukee closer who flamed out after a few good years (although his mustache will live on in infamy).
Was there a Brewers player that disappointed more in 2013 than John Axford? You'd be hard pressed to find one. I briefly looked to see if I had anyone else ranked so high who happened to fall so hard. The only one who came close was Yovani Gallardo, who at 12-10 with a 4.18 ERA had the worst year of his career. But even with those stats that isn't that bad for a starting pitcher. I don't normally do a whole lot of research when writing these articles (damn, now you know my dirty little secret) because I do so much research during the regular season. I don't really use stats too often for this shit unless I really need to hammer the point into your brains. So for the most part I just use the eye/ear test because I watch or listen to almost every single game. The stats for Axford don't actually look that bad for a middle reliever. That's pretty acceptable if you really think about. But Axford wasn't paid to be a middle reliever. He was supposed to be the closer. And he was one of the big reasons why the Brewers started off at 1-5 and were 2-8 after the first 2 weeks of the season. At the time it didn't seem like that big of a deal but that slow start really cost them as their season seemed doomed from the start. It's deflating when you're winning in the 8th inning and lose it with one swing of the bat in the 9th. Hard to recover when all of the life and morale is sucked out of your ballclub. Axford didn't record a single save with the Brewers in 2013 and was replaced by Henderson and KRod. His poor performance in 2013 signaled the end of his Brewers career that saw some utter brilliance from him in 2010 and 2011. He was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals in August for right handed pitcher Michael Blazek.
I really liked John Axford. Both as a pitcher and on a personal level. I was sad to see him go but it was strictly a business/team move. He was going to cost a lot more money in arbitration (a raise over the $5 million he made in 2013) and there are plenty of younger, cheaper and hopefully more effective options on the roster. There was always the option to non-tender him a contract in the offseason which would essentially make him a free agent, but the Brewers did the right thing by getting something in return. Blazek wasn't bad in his brief stint with the Brewers but the important thing is that he is younger and cheaper. Sometimes I forget that baseball is a business because I care so much about this team and the players. I met Axford at Brewers On Deck in 2013 and from the first impression, I thought he was one of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever met. I'm not just talking about athletes or celebrities. He just seemed like he knew what his place was in the game and in the World and decided to embrace it. He could have been a real dick about it when I asked him questions and wanted to have a normal conversation. But he wasn't. I wanted to be friends with him after our brief encounter but I had to settle for following him on Twitter. I don't follow many celebrities because I don't really give a fuck what they have to say. But Axford is different. He entertains me. He has amazing facial hair including one of the best mustaches I have EVER seen! He also doesn't give a fuck about what people say about him, as evident by his interactions with people hiding behind their Twitter handles. He's very entertaining and I will miss seeing him in Milwaukee. But times change and people move on. And there's not a god damn thing I can do about it. But that's life pal. Deal with it.
Jim Henderson #29, RP
2013 Prediction: 2-4 record, 4.62 ERA, 65 innings pitched, 70 strikeouts, 4 for 8 in save opportunities and the nicest man from our neighbor to the North despite being just a guy.
2013 Actual: 5-5 record, 2.70 ERA, 60 innings pitched, 61 games, 75 strikeouts, 28 for 32 in save opportunities and established himself as the next Milwaukee closer to come out of nowhere.
Jim "Jimmy Jem Bone" Henderson (that's not his real nickname) basically came out of nowhere to become the Brewers closer in 2013. He made his Major League debut at the ripe old age of 30 in 2012 and then emerged as the best option to finish games when Axford struggled out of the gate in 2013. As you can see from my preseason prediction, I didn't think too highly of Mr. Henderson. I really thought that Axford (although regressing from previous years) would still be the regular closer with Jimmy Jem Bone getting a couple saves here and there. What J-Bone ended up doing was pretty spectacular and he was one of the nice things to come out of an otherwise bad season. This bearded Canadian doesn't seem like a real imposing force (although at 6'5" and 220, he's no Scooter Gennett) but he throws real hard and can bring it in the upper 90's. I had him pegged as just another guy but he was 11th in the NL in saves which I'll admit doesn't seem like a whole lot, but that's not bad for a team that only won 74 games. Don't forget that KRod had 10 saves which took some of them out of J-Jem's pocket. He could have had damn near 40 if given the chance. Is there really anything I can say about this guy? Nope. But that might be a good thing because sometimes when you have a lot to say, it is often of the negative variety. How many times do I go off on some bizarre negative rant filled with expletives and nonsensical words? Quite often, mostly when I'm drunk and mad at the World. But I'm not right now. But I'm getting there. Jim Henderson is the closer for your Milwaukee Brewers, and he will continue to do it until he fucks up or we can find someone better. Isn't that always the case with closers in this town? How many have we run through over the years? A lot it seems. Will J-Reilly be another name on that long list? Time is going to tell on that one. I'm a betting man so I know which one I'm placing my money on. But I'm also not an idiot, so I'm not revealing my bet. I don't need your grubby little hands to get all over my prize. Fuck that.
Rob Wooten #47, RP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 3-1 record, 3.90 ERA, 27.2 innings pitched, 27 games, 18 strikeouts and brought a little woot-woot to a bullpen full of characters.
Rob Wooten was the Closer at AAA Nashville and had a pretty good year, which is why he was called up to help a Brewers bullpen that sorely needed healthy arms. In 40 games in the Minors, he was 0-1 with a 2.94 ERA and 20 saves in 23 opportunities. Based upon those numbers he should have been given a shot to prove himself in the big leagues. And for the most part he was alright. 27 innings is still not enough to judge someone and the near 4 ERA is a little high, but let's see what happens over the next couple of years. I wish I had a little more insight on these guys or at least I wish I was a little more drunk so I could come up with my own scouting report of nonsense. But I'm not there right now. Shit happens. Deal with it. In a few short weeks the 2014 season will begin and the 2013 season will be forgotten for the most part. So in essence, at this point, nothing I'm saying here really matters anymore. So it's business as usual at Pookon's Ill Blog. Did you expect something else? You silly little bastard. After all this time you still haven't learned. Hopefully Rob Wooten picked up a thing or two in his short time in the Majors because he's going to be counted on at some point during the next season to help stabilize what could be a relatively inexperienced bullpen. But how can someone who is new themselves add stability? But being a Closer (even at the Minor League level) sets him up perfectly to help out. Closes have to have a certain mentality and toughness in order to go out there day after day with little to no wiggle room with the expectation to shut the other team down every single time they take the mound. You can't teach mental toughness. You have it or you don't. I think Wooten had it last year in the Minors. But does he have it in the Majors? The jury is still out on that one but the court will be in session soon. All rise for the honorable Judge Reinhold!
Francisco Rodriguez #57, RP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 1-1 record, 1.09 ERA, 24.2 innings pitched, 25 games, 26 strikeouts, 10 for 10 in save opportunities and one of the few bright spots in an otherwise dim 2013.
You know when you go to eat at a really good buffet, potluck or picnic? What do you do after you've cleaned your plate? No... before you take a big dump. I'm talking about when you go back for seconds. That was 2012. But how often do you go back for thirds? Unless you're a fat bastard (or a little Japanese man who can eat like a champ) I'm guessing it doesn't happen that often. But lightning did strike twice in Milwaukee (because let's face it, in 2012 he was one of many disappointments that season) and in 2013 we got 2011 numbers out of KRod. Anyone who watched the magical year of 2011 remembers that how amazing KRod was setting up Axford (4-0 record, 1.86 ERA and 33 strikeouts in 29 innings) and was part of that 1-2 punch that made it a 7 inning game. When he came back in 2012 we weren't expecting something that good but his 4.38 ERA was nearly 2 points above his career average of 2.70. At the end of the season folks in town were glad to see him go. He was still available in mid-April so the Brewers took another chance on him and he was flawless, going 10 for 10 in save opportunities with a 1.09 ERA. He was so good that he made for a very movable trade piece at the deadline as he was flipped to the Baltimore Orioles for 3rd base prospect Nicky Delmonico. In a year that saw so many rough moments, it's hard to remember the few bright spots. KRod was one of those players to get behind, but a losing team doesn't need a veteran pitcher in the bullpen. I know I like to leave the 2014 talk out of this article, but ****spoiler alert**** KRod will be back for a 4th helping in 2014. Damn that mothefucker must've be hungry hungry as shit, Hippo-style! He's going to clean up his plate and lick it until it is spotless. But we're not going to touch base (get it!?! like it has two meanings as a saying and also in the baseball sense) on next year for a few more weeks around here. Let's just digest how good KRod was in 2013. Good enough to eat. FEE FI FO FUM!! I SMELL THE BLOOD OF A SOME KIND OF SPANISH MAN!
Michael Blazek #54, RP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 0-1 record, 3.86 ERA, 7 innings pitched, 7 games, 4 strikeouts and known to Blazek it up from time to time.
This guy has a lot of Blazek on his fastball. Other than that I don't know a god damn thing about him. Look, I'm just some drunken asshole who follows the Brewers and occasionally comments on them. I'm no expert. I watch enough to know my shit but I don't dig too deep into the scouting reports or statistics. Why? First off, I don't get paid for this shit so this is all done during my free time. In your free time you are supposed to do things for enjoyment and entertainment, so I'm not going to waste my time studying and pouring over countless reports and stats. Baseball to me is fun. If I get into it too much it becomes work. That's why I never pursued this as a career. Well that and because I swear too much, bring up really random (and often sexual) ideas and don't know when to quit, which would not help me in mass public consumption. So all I really know about Blazek is that he was acquired from St. Louis in the John Axford trade. He's younger and cheaper (25 years old, $490,000) than Axford (31 years old, $5 million) so it made sense for a team that has to creatively balance their budget. Plus after the season that Axford had, he was expendable. It was nice to get something for him instead of just cutting him at the end of the season. So what do we have in Blazek? I don't know. His 7 innings pitched is too small of a sample size but his career Minor League ERA of 4.13 indicates that he'll probably just be average. But I'm all for waiting and seeing what happens with him. If he's good then it will benefit our team. If he's not we can leave him by the curb so "The Garbage Man" Joe Winkelsass can pick him up. And then we'll try another reliever. There's so many to choose from. Blazek, until he can prove otherwise, is just another guy.
Well that's the bullpen. Good night folks! As if I would just end it like that. I couldn't live with myself if I only wrote that much. I'm a victim of excess. I can't stay away from the booze, the snacks, the gambling or the loose women. So it's not all bad. I could be addicted to much worse and so far the excess hasn't really affected my life too much. Well yeah it has actually. But I'm not going to get into that right now because this is neither the time nor the place. Is it ever? The bullpen was actually pretty damn good in 2013 but it was hard to notice it because everything else was so damn bad. I hope that we have some similar success in 2014 because the Brewers are going to need an above average bullpen if they don't want to see similar overall results. But that my friends is another topic for another day. I hope you enjoyed my Milwaukee Brewers 2013 coverage here on the blog. Thanks for reading and come back soon to check out the rest of the crazy shit I'll be presenting for you.
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
Well I take that back because I'm madly in love with Sage from the Fox Sports Wisconsin Girls. I've been watching her for years and I get the shivers every time I see her. I follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, on TV and home from the laundromat. I'm just kidding about following her on the Instagram. I don't get the purpose of that one. I was first turned on by her smile, then her eyes and then her hot totties. Oh man what I wouldn't do with her Fox Sports Wisconsin Girls. Jesus Christ Scotty! Keep it in your pants. You need a woman and bad. But you won't because you're still pining over some drink girl (Karma) you met at La Bayou like 4 years ago and now you've got a schoolboy crush on some pretty brunette who flashes a smile at you from the television. You sad pathetic man. Oh but what a beautiful smile it is. It warms my heart and makes me forget about all my troubles. It's like she's doing it only for me. Wait, did I just kind of quote a Semisonic song? My life is even more pathetic than I realized. But I'm going to go to bed tonight and dream that one day she will be mine and I will do everything within my power to meet her in person. Once she takes a look at my body she will want to make babies with me immediately, even if there are people around. I'm hoping that the kids get her genes. And in order to make that happen I will need to get in her jeans, if you know what I mean. Yes, everyone knows what you mean. You're laying it on pretty thick, syrup style. All over her naked body. OK, I'm done.
