Corey Hart is a Bitch

Let me start out by saying that I've always liked Corey Hart. Alcohol has made me forget a lot of things, but I'm 99% sure that I'm right on this one. Corey Hart's first at bat with the Milwaukee Brewers happened late in the 2004 season. He came in as pinch hitter, and hit a foul ball that clanked off of the .300 Club (now the Metavante Club) in the 3rd deck. It was just barely foul, and would have been a booming home run if he could have kept it fair. He ended up striking out, but got a standing ovation from the crowd in his only at bat of that year. At that point, the fans were so excited about these youngsters who were on the verge of taking over this team. In 2005 he only played in 21 games and hit .193. In 2006 he was splitting time in right field with Geoff Jenkins, and he only played in 87 games but hit .283 with 9 HRs and 33 RBI. 2007 was his breakout season, and as the everyday right fielder he played in 140 games and hit .295 with 24 HRs, 81 RBIs and 24 stolen bases. He also played some good defense and had only 3 errors. He was also clocked as the fastest Brewers player in Spring Training, and I wore my sunglasses at night, screamed out "I Hart you Corey" from the right field bleachers and I often would say that Corey Hart ran like a gazelle. That is a compliment, as gazelles are some of the most graceful and fastest creatures on the planet. In 2008, he had a terrific first half on the season, and he was a candidate for the 2008 All-Star Game Final Vote, which he would end up winning. I was extremely supportive of him, and even installed a widget on this blog so that people could come here to cast their vote. I remember yelling out, "#1 on the field, #1 in your Harts!!" at the game, which became one of my signature cheers. I own a Corey Hart jersey, and counted myself as one of his biggest supporters. Then why would I say that he is a bitch? If you remember the 2nd half of the 2008 season onward, then you need not ask. But read on anyway.

Corey Hart completely fell apart after the All-Star break. I don't have the split stats to back it up, but in 2008 in 157 games he finished with a line of .268, 21 HRs, 91 RBIs and 23 stolen bases. You're probably saying that's not that bad, right? Consider that he had 109 strike outs and an on base percentage of .300, and you start to scrap the surface of how bad he really was. Anyone who watched the Brewers in 2008 saw that Corey Hart put up one of the biggest piece of shit half seasons the MLB has ever seen. I remember in the final game of the 2008 season, when the Brewers were at home against the Cubs and needed a win to advance to the playoffs. It was in the 7th inning, Ray Durham led off with a double, then Ryan Braun grounded out to 3rd, with Durham advancing to 3rd on the play. Prince Fielder was intentionally walked, then JJ Hardy walked on 4 straight pitches. Corey Hart stepped up to the plate in a career defining at bat; one that would cement his place in Brewers lore as they were trailing 1-0 at the time. Remember that Sean Marshall of the Cubs just threw 8 straight balls (4 intentional to Prince Fielder and 4 non intentional to JJ Hardy)? COREY HART SWUNG AT AND MISSED 3 STRAIGHT SLIDERS LOW AND AWAY AND STRUCK OUT SWINGING WITH THE BASES LOADED IN ONE OF THE WORST AT BATS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I have never been more upset in my entire life at someone who wasn't a murderer or a child rapist. I don't like to boo my own players, but on that day I booed the shit out of Corey Hart as he walked back to the dugout. If it wasn't for Craig "Clutch" Counsell (C3) who drew a walk tying the game at 1, Corey Hart may have been blamed for the loss. As everyone knows, with the game tied at 1-1, Ryan Braun hit a home run in the 8th inning that still gives me chills, and thanks to CC Sabathia's complete game, the Brewers won the Wild Card and made the playoffs for the first time in 26 years. The rest is history.

But why is Corey Hart a bitch you ask? Aside from his poor play in the 2nd half of 2008, his 2009 season was far worse. He played in only 115 games and had a batting average of .260, with 12 home runs and 48 RBIs. Naysayers will point out that he missed nearly 1 1/2 months due to emergency appendectomy surgery in August, which came at a time when he was just heating up at the plate. That's no excuse, as he already was having a dismal season where he couldn't do anything right. He ended up finishing the 2009 season with an on base percentage of .335, which was better than last year, but not nearly good enough for someone of his speed and baserunning skills. So all of that is in the past, but when thing has to be mentioned before I go into my rant about how I no longer "Hart" Corey. If you don't understand the arbitration process, let me breka it down for you right quick. A team owns the rights to a player for something like 6 years once they get to the majors, and for the first 2 or 3 years they are in the majors, the team controls their salary and they most likely make the major league minimum. After that, the player is allowed to file for an amount they feel that they are worth, and the team counters with the amount that they think that player is worth. In an ideal situation, both sides meet at the midpoint of the 2 figures, and that results in the players salary for that year. If they cannot compromise, it goes before an arbitration panel of 3 judges who decide on one or the other, and that is the amount that that player makes in a year. I know this is boring an technical stuff, but so is a lot of things in baseball. In 2008 Corey Hart filed for a salary of $3.8 million in his 1st year of arbitration, while the Brewers offered $2.7 million. On the night before going before the panel of arbitration judges, they settled on salary of $3.25 million. Corey Hart goes on to have a disappointing 2009 season, as I have previously pointed out.

Fast forward to 2010. Thank you for bearing with me, as I found it necessary to present the evidence before I make my claim that Corey Hart is a bitch. I already presented Hart's 2009 statistics (.260, 12 HR, 48 RBI, .335 OBP), and for the 2010 season he filed for a salary of $4.8 million, a RAISE of $1 million from the previous year in which he sucked balls at the plate and missed time due to injury. Think about it for a second. If you missed time at work, sucked at your job then asked your boss for A MILLION DOLLAR RAISE at your job, how do you think your boss would react?!? They would probably show you the door and hire someone who was younger, cheaper and could do a more efficient job than you could. Corey Hart is a mother fucker for thinking that he deserves more money after a season in which he let down over 3 million fans who came to see him play at Miller Park. Some people might blame the system and the fact that MLB does not have a salary cap, which leads to some players making ridiculous amounts of money. I blame the players, because they are simply abusing and taking advantage of the system in place that governs the salaries of the players. But then I must also blame the system too. I don't want to go into that today, but without a salary cap, teams like the Milwaukee Brewers will never be able to win a World Series if teams like the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Philadelphia Phillies can spend as much money as the want to buy a championship. So where was I? Oh yeah, Corey Hart is a bitch if he thinks that he is worth $4.8 million dollars. If you ask me, I don't think that he is worth $4.80. I'd rather have Frank "The Tank" Cattalonatto in right field, if nothing more than to hear The Outfield's "Your Love" every time that he steps up to the plate. I used to "Hart" Corey, but now I find myself feeling deep hate and disdain for him. I can't believe that he is asking for more money after the horrendous season that he had. Doug Melvin has a clean track record of settling with players on a salary for the upcoming season, and has yet to go before the arbitration panel. Corey Hart may change that in 2010, because he's being a stubborn bitch who thinks that he is better than he actually is. I know that he has a family small children, and is trying to make enough for his future, but what can you buy for $4.8 million that you can't buy for $4.15 million (which is the amount that the Brewers have offered him for 2010)? I only make $28,000 a year, which seems like a lot to you kids (Brian, Stacy and Kevin) but it is pocket change compared to Hart's $4+ million he will make this year. And to be quite honest with you, he doesn't deserve that. Not at all. Given his decline in the last few years, I wish we could give him less money, but unfortunately the arbitration process doesn't work that way. So he will end up making a ton of money, and unless he hopefully rebounds in 2010, he will enrage the fans once again. Corey Hart is no stranger to enraging the fans. In September of 2008 the Brewers had just completed a 3-7 homestand and were slipping from the Wildcard lead. Corey Hart's poor play in the second half helped contribute to this, and the fans would often boo him when he showed a complete lack of discipline at the plate. The Brewers were going on the road to play Philadelphia and he had this to say about the people who pay his salary. "Actually, it felt more like a home game than playing in Miller Park," said Hart, who has no home runs and two RBI this month. "We didn't hear the boos that we sometimes hear at home. That's the way it goes. Everybody's expecting (the team) to win. I guess they have a reason to be frustrated because we haven't been winning. "It's not a lack of hustle or effort. A guy makes an error, a guy strikes out and you hear your home town booing you. It makes you ready to get out of there and go somewhere else for awhile. I think we're all looser here." So Hart would rather be somewhere else than Miller Park. So go there. What's stopping you ya bum? He's been the fodder of trade rumors for some time now, and the only reason that we haven't traded him is that there is no viable younger and less expensive talent in the minors to replace him. Or at least none of those outfielders are major league ready yet. But as soon as they are I want Corey Hart out of town and headed to the next place that wants to deal with his shit.

Wow. Can't believe that I ranted that long on Corey Hart. That just goes to show you how passionate I am about my team. I know I wanted to say it for a long time, but FUCK COREY HART. There. It has been said now. I haven't been this upset since 4th and 26. And there's not many times that I hate a player on my team as much as I hate a player on the Chicago Cubs. Corey might as well put on the traitor jersey and play on the North side, and catch fly balls up against the gay shrubbery on the brick walls. Fuck Corey Hart and fuck him for thinking that he is worth a God Damn cent. He is being a bitch right now and I will no longer support him unless he proves that he has learned plate discipline and takes a fucking walk when the pitcher pitches him low and outside. I've backed Corey Hart since Day 1, and will continue to do so if he proves to me that he was who I thought he was. And if he isn't, then I will stop at nothing to get someone to play right field who can live up to the hype. It's starting to look like Doug Melvin will have to go to his 1st arbitration hearing as GM of the Brewers because Corey Hart fails to realize how much of a bitch he really is. His unwillingness to see how much he sucked and compromise at a fair salary of $4.4 million is upsetting. I'm tired of his bitchy antics and will focus my attention elsewhere. Even though it is the offseason, I got Brewers on the brain. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about my team, and if you ever want to have an educational discussion about the Boys in Blue, let me know. But just makes sure that you bring the knowledge if you want to discuss the Crew, because I've had enough of the uninformed fuckers who call into AM 1250 WSSP. No one (besides Tim and Sparky) have any idea what they are talking about. You know how to reach me; rant over. Let's go Brewers, and keep on Turnin' Up the Heat!

- pookon -

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