Onions make Hotdogs tasty

(from the Lost Archives - date unknown, probably spring 2009)


(from the Current Archives - Wednesday, November 18, 2009)

As you can see from the entry of the Lost Archives, there is nothing there. This must have been one of those ideas that I came up with and never expounded on it. I was probably drunk one night, and in my inebriated state, ate some hot dogs with onions and came up with this genius observation. But let's break this thing down a little bit. First off, hot dogs are already tasty. I know that might change depending on who you talk to, but I think that the majority if Americans would answer yes to the question, "Are hotdogs tasty?" So already the dog alone makes it tasty. Then you add a bun into the mix. To be honest with you, I don't think this changes anything. Unless you have flavored bread or one with some awesome seasoning, bread just tastes like nothing. I figure the hotdog bun to just be a container in which to hold all the awesomeness, which we will get into in a moment. For me, a hotdog needs to have ketchup. That is the bare minimum amount of condiments that I must put on my dog before consuming it. Of course I like to have more, because who doesn't? If someone were to give you the choice between having 1 (for the sake of argument, we'll use widgets) widget or having 5 widgets, you'd choose 5 widgets, right? No? Oh yeah, you'd probably not put widgets on your hotdog because widgets are an economic term used to describe an unnamed or hypothetical manufactured article. A widget is also a small mechanical device, as a knob or switch, especially one whose name is not known or cannot be recalled; a gadget. What kind of savage psycho puts that shit on a hotdog?

I'll tell you in my ideal world what I would put on my hotdog - everything in the picture to the left. But I wouldn't call it a Chicago Dog for 2 reasons - I hate Chicago and because I improve upon this design. I add ketchup and sauerkraut to make it a true Milwaukee Dog. If I wanted to be quite honest with you, then I would say that I stole the idea from Mad Dog Jake's up in Boulder Junction and that it is actually called a Mad Dog. I've been going to Boulder Junction (a small town even further North and West than Eagle River) since I was a little kid. When I joined Boy Scouts, I was excited to find out that our week long Summer Camp was at nearby Jag Lake. And I also heard that at some point doing the week we'd take the 5 mile hike into Boulder Junction. That probably doesn't seen very exciting to you, but unless you are one of the adults at summer camp, you aren't allowed to have soda or candy at camp. While this seems trivial now, think about how horrifying that is as a kid or a teenager. When we went into Boulder Junction, we could gorge ourselves silly, as long as we were able to make the walk back. So it became a challenge of finding that fine line between being extremely satisfied and being overly stuffed. I always made sure to stop at Mad Dog Jake's with Mike Bates and grab a Mad Dog and some ice cream. And although I haven't been back there since (something like 10 years now) it will always be the best hot dog I've ever had in my entire life. And also one of my best memories of all time.

(from the even more Current Archives 1/21/2010)

I don't know what makes up a hotdog. I could Google it and see some sick shit, but for once (if anyone follows my blog or website) I'm refraining from looking up information because I don't want to know it instead of my usual not doing it because I am lazy. I love hotdogs so much that I straight up refuse to compromise my love for them. Two of my favorite meals involve hotdogs - SuperMac (which is macaroni and cheese with hotdogs and extra cheeses) and Ghettio (spaghettios with hotdogs). And then of course is the tie between hotdogs and sporting events, mainly baseball. I love grilling out and tailgaiting, and hotdogs make me think of summer. If you live in Wisconsin or have ever visited here, you know how much we look forward to our summers because winter sucks balls. So I'm going to go on the record by saying that I love hotdogs, onions do make them tasty and this summer I will go back to Boulder Junction for a Mad Dog at Mad Dog Jake's. Fire up the grill, open up a cold one, grab out the condiments and eat the shit out of a hotdog. Trust me, it will remind you of the better days to come and help get you through the cold winter. Stay warm my friends.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com