It's been a rough couple of weeks for me as a person and for me as an artist. I've already talked in length about my recent health problems (sickness and back pain) on this blog so that should not be news to you now. I've been pretty much laying low trying to recover so that I can lead a normal life again. For the most part I'm pain free but my body isn't 100%. I'd say that I'm running at around 80%, 85% tops. Something still isn't right. While this has given me plenty of downtime, I haven't been able to provide any new material to this blog, Pookon.com. TheDailyBurner.com or TimReck.com. This past month should have been the ideal time to catch up on all of the things I want to do as a writer on my various platforms. I enjoy operating these websites and the different content that each of them allows me to produce. I've got ideas swimming through my head that I need a venue for or else I will go crazy keeping them to myself. I have a need to be creative at all times and if I bottle it up and act "normal" eventually I'll explode. If that happens I might have to be locked up for good with the rest of the crazies. So I try my best to avoid that situation because it wouldn't work out well for anyone involved. I'd rather be dead than locked up in a padded room.
But there was a problem. While my body was incapacitated from living a normal life somehow my mind became locked up as well. I developed a very common condition called "Writer's Block" that prevented me from sharing my ideas with you. They were still there swimming around in my head but something was preventing me from getting them onto the computer or into my journal. To me this hurt more than the physical pain because this destroyed my purpose in life and prevented me from being who I am. When you have nothing to live for and feel like there is nothing that you are doing that contributes to the World you no longer want to be a part of it anymore. There was an easy to this and that was to force writing to try to get over this block but I just couldn't do it. There was a reason I gave up on pursuing a career in Journalism in College and that was because I can't force it. When I do that I come off as generic or fake because my writing style is very unique and is a combination of my head and my heart. If my head and heart aren't in it then you get something that you've read a thousand times. I like to think I provide a unique take on life and that I'm the very definition of individual. That's how I feel at least. I also feel like I'm the only one who actually reads this shit or enjoys the content I provide at my various sites so my belief is that I will only do this stuff as long as I am enjoying it. I've always said that I do this for me and if I get even one person to check it out then that's a bonus. So if I don't feel like doing it for me then I don't do it. End of story. Or is it?
Everyone goes through some hard times in their lives. That's a part of life. It can never be all good. But it never is all bad either. Everything will balance out in the end. I'm a firm believer in that. But sometimes the bad seems like it is never going to end and you get caught up in the whole "when it rains, it pours" mentality and it takes over you life until you push through it by hitting the block head on and growing. I use the Mario example because everyone at this point in their life (people of reading age) should know all about Mario and the struggles that he's gone through over the course of his life. I'm sorry but the Princess is in another castle. You slipped on a well placed banana peel and finished in 2nd place. You lost your Yoshi. Someone chose Toad because he digs faster. You accidentally used the Frog Suit in a non-water level. Luigi got the Helicopter Hat and you didn't. Time ran out. And the worst one of them all - you're all out of lives. Thankfully there is the continue option. Or the reset button. Or the best one of all - Game Genie. What I wouldn't do with unlimited lives and infinite star power. I would fuck a goomba up. Bowser wouldn't even think once about stealing away the love of my life. But this is no video game. This is life. But I can stand to learn a very important lesson from Mario.
Mario doesn't quit. He never gives up when he's small and the monsters are closing in on him. He figures out a way to get to the end of the level or he dies trying. He never turns and runs away. He searches every brick, every underground level and every cloud in the sky for a power-up that can help him achieve his goals. You have to hit that block in order to grow and overcome the adversity facing you. That's what this article was to me. This was me hitting that block and hopefully overcoming my recent writing struggles. This isn't the most poignant and life changing thing I've ever written. Is it good? I think so. But then again I think everything I do is good and contains a small piece of my heart. Writing is art. It's filled with thought, emotions, nonsense and more creativity than you can probably ever understand. But not everyone will understand. Art is very subjective and subject to the viewer's interpretation. I don't know what you got out of this but I do know what I did - I broke the block. That mushroom popped out and is coasting along the ground away from me. Now excuse me while I go chase that mushroom so I can grow.
Mario doesn't quit. He never gives up when he's small and the monsters are closing in on him. He figures out a way to get to the end of the level or he dies trying. He never turns and runs away. He searches every brick, every underground level and every cloud in the sky for a power-up that can help him achieve his goals. You have to hit that block in order to grow and overcome the adversity facing you. That's what this article was to me. This was me hitting that block and hopefully overcoming my recent writing struggles. This isn't the most poignant and life changing thing I've ever written. Is it good? I think so. But then again I think everything I do is good and contains a small piece of my heart. Writing is art. It's filled with thought, emotions, nonsense and more creativity than you can probably ever understand. But not everyone will understand. Art is very subjective and subject to the viewer's interpretation. I don't know what you got out of this but I do know what I did - I broke the block. That mushroom popped out and is coasting along the ground away from me. Now excuse me while I go chase that mushroom so I can grow.
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