Wouldn't it be weird if one day all the sudden food didn't taste like it was supposed to? I'm not saying that in a bad way, like now everything tastes like shit. I'm saying that now it just tastes like another food. Like suppose you bit into an apple, and instead of tasting like an apple, it tasted like mashed potatoes. So that's really good if you like mashed potatoes, but what if you were really excited to eat that apple? Now you don't get the taste of apples anymore because all apples taste like mashed potatoes. That would make me wonder if this was an isolated incident or if this phenomenon was widespread. I know I would be like a mad scientist given his first government job with unlimited supplies and experimental freedom; I would be testing everything.
So if apples taste like mashed potatoes, I wonder what a chicken sandwhich tastes like. So I run out to the nearest fast food joint and I grab a chicken sandwhich... and I instantly spit it out because it tastes like creamed corn. Yuck. But I'm 1 for 2. I'm batting .500. I grab a handful of spinach and toss those leaves into my mouth. To my surprise, they tasted just like gummy bears! This was the best! I'm going to eat spinach with every meal from now on! But I also got worried. What about my favorite foods? Would I dare try some pizza or french fries? I don't want to know what happened to these foods because my memory of them is too good that I don't want to taint it with realization that pizza doesn't taste like pizza anymore and french fries don't taste like french fries anymore.
I'd be willing to try a whole lot of things that I probably didn't eat before, like gross foreign food, creatures from the sea and domesticated animals just to see if they tasted like Oreo ice cream, spaghettios or cotton candy. Who knows what it tastes like until you try it? Everything you know about food is completely thrown out the window because nothing tastes like it is supposed to. Would that blow your mind or would you be ok with that? I'm really not sure. I'm always open to try new things, but it seems like every time I go to a restaurant, I order something familiar like a hamburger. Someone can't screw up a hamburger, can they? Have you ever had a real, I mean absolutely terrible hamburger? No! Because hamburgers taste like hamburgers. You know what you are getting.
But what if you didn't know what you were getting? Because the hamburger now tastes like seaweed. And then you eat some seaweed and it tastes like barbecue ribs. Then you get some barbecued ribs and it tastes like skim milk. Then you get some skim milk and it tastes like purple seedless grapes. And the purple seedless grapes taste like Nacho Cheese Doritos. And Nacho Cheese Dorritos taste like scrambled eggs. And scrambled eggs taste like churros. And churros taste like Gerber baby food sweet potatoes. And then you open up the can of Gerber baby food sweet potatoes and it tastes like microwave popcorn. Microwave popcorn now tastes like a banana. And a banana tastes like a steak cooked medium rare. Medium rare steak tastes like sweet and sour chicken but a steak well done tastes like Mountain Dew. Crack open a can of Mountain Dew and get ready for the wild taste of boiled goose. Are you a fan of boiled goose? Well you might not be anymore now that boiled goose tastes like decaf coffee. If you find yourself putting on a pot of decaf in the afternoon because you used to like the taste, get ready for a warm cup of clam chowder. Actually that doesn't sound too bad. I could go for a nice cup of clam chowder in the afternoon. But heaven forbid I crush a couple of saltine crackers in my decaf coffee and almost vomit when I realize that I just put blueberries in my clam chowder.
I would be so mixed up all the time. I'm sure eventually you could learn to accept the madness of the new food world because after all, you've already learned what things tasted like before from trying them and you have developed a connection between taste and sight. Why couldn't you do it again? I'm sure that you could relearn everything enough to remember that when you have a craving for steamed broccoli, all you have to do is unwrap a Werther's original. Thirsty for a cold refreshing Miller Lite? Make sure you grab a string cheese out of the fridge. Up would be down, left would be the 6:00 Evening News and jello would be macaroni and cheese. In some strange way I feel like I would fit perfectly into that world. Because that's what's in my head and my head is a very twisted place. I never know what to expect when I bite into something, so why shouldn't it be something insane? How about you? Could you live in that world? What kind of bizarre food switches are in your head?
- pookon -
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