Thursday, January 31, 2008

This just in: Money talks more than Chris Tucker

Which makes perfect sense because in 1997, a post Friday and pre Rush Hour Chris Tucker starred in movie of said name (Money Talks). It's hard to believe that something could actually talk faster, longer, and make you understand the words that are coming out of its mouth more than Chris Tucker, but money talks baby. So what does this have to do with anything? I'll tell you. I love dollars. I like looking at dollars. I love songs about dollars. I love collecting dollars and using those dollars to buy sweet things. I envy people who have baller status and have more dollars than I do (damn you Lil' Bow Wow!). But I hate (I know it's a strong word) but I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE TRIPLE HATE the process of getting dollars (for ex., working). There's nothing more that I hate then showing up at my place of business and dealing with stupid customers. To steal a line from Randall Graves in Clerks, "This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers." I couldn't agree more.

I'm starting to get to the point where I wake up every morning depressed because I know that I have to go into work. "Stop whining, you're giving me a headache!" is what you and Arnold are saying right now. "Get a (new) job Grouch" is what you and Dave Chapelle are saying right now. I know, I should do both. But I've had so many jobs in my short life (I've been working since I got my first paper route at 15) and I know that regardless of where I work (with the exception of Miller Park) that I'll hate my job because it will always pale in comparison to that gig. The problem is that I can only work at Miller Park when the Brewers are playing a game, so that limits me to working only approximately 81 games a year. What the hell am I supposed to do with the other 284 days? I personally, can think of plenty of things to do, like drink myself retarded, go on trips, play Guitar Hero, watch movies, etc. but none of those get me the elusive dollars that I crave so much. I guess my only way out is to find a Sugar Mama (or Sugar Daddy - hey, it might be worth it if I get enough dollars so that I can swim in them like Uncle Scrooge) to ease my dollar woes. Since that is very unlikely (I'm an ugly mfer) I guess I'll just have to work for the man so that I can get some dollars.

I guess it really isn't all that bad. I could have worse things to worry about, like disease, the absence of a limb, poor living conditions, unclean water, insufficient food, and other basic living essentials that people in 3rd world countries go without. I guess I'm just a bitch for whining about stupid stuff. Oh well.

Dollars still rule the world, but I still believe that I rule a little bit too. I guess I'll try and be happy with the things that I have and stop getting upset about the things that I don't have. I'm lucky enough to have some kind of monetary possession in this world.

Until I strike it rich, I'll be sitting here making some dollars. As of yet, I haven't been able to figure out another way to resolve my unquenchable thirst for the almighty dollar. Until I figure that out - you know where to find me.

-pookon-

http://www.pookon.com/

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