I don't usually say this so don't think I'm going to make a habit out of it. Sometimes it's good to be a fat guy. For 2 days now I have had nothing to eat except for 5 bananas and I don't feel different in any way. I guess I have plenty of reserves to work off before my stomach starts feeling hungry or my body gets week. But I've made sure to drink plenty of water and actually sleep for a change. Maybe that's why I feel better. I also haven't had any alcohol, caffeine or junk food in the last 48 hours. So maybe it's just my body cleaning out all the toxins that I constantly put into it and I feel normal for once. I know it's just 2 days into this little experiment but I'm starting to feel like instead of going crazy, I might actually be returning to what society calls normal. I don't feel odd or like I'm traveling through multiple dimensions at once like I often do at work. And to think I almost quit last night because I called this thing stupid. It may still be stupid and ill advised by Doctors, but I can't give up on this because I need to see if I slip into insanity. I need to find out if I have a breaking point when it comes to food and alcohol. Because those are 2 of the things I love the most.
I eat too much. That's why I have 2 chins and people said that I look like Jonah Hill before he went and got all skinny before doing 21 Jump Street. Food is awesome. I eat all the time when I'm not hungry because it tastes so damn good. I figured out today that I eat just to eat or because I'm bored and never because I am hungry. I also eat too much. I used to be able to put away a whole frozen pizza or a box of Kraft Dinner but these days I struggle with it. I must be getting old and my body is slowing down or some shit. But even though my stomach says no my foolish pride says yes and I munch down on the food and take care of business. And then I lay around sick for the rest of the night with a belly ache. So maybe I should learn something from this adventure. Maybe I should just wait until I get hungry to eat. Maybe I should try portion control. Just like Prince used to tell me. Wait, he wasn't speaking about only eating the recommended amount of calories for a healthy diet? That song was about Pussy Control? Well at least I got the eating part right. Hi-o!
I know that I don't drink enough water because I'm too busy drinking other things. And before you start letting your imagination run wild I can assure you that I'm not sitting on top of my garage drinking ram's piss doing some high altitude training. Because we all know that if you can drink ram's piss, then fuck, you can drinking anything. But I don't drink just anything. I drink rum, and lots of it. Sometimes I do switch it up with some whiskey but it seems like I'm always drinking something. I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic because it's not like I need it to survive and for the most part I don't get all worked up on or off of it. I might just be making excuses but I've seen alcoholics and I wouldn't put myself in that class. But then again isn't the first sign that you have a problem is denying that you have a problem? I don't know man. I'm a liar. I can't stop lying about regular stuff that a normal person would tell the truth about. I can't help it. So I may be lying. I may not be. It's the bananas talking man. I swear!
So not much happened today that signaled my descent into madness. I fear I may never go bananas. I'm used to doing crazy shit that no one else understands so at this point I don't even bat an eye when someone questions my actions that may seem a little bizarre. Maybe I can't go insane because I already am. Perhaps I don't recognize the madness because I'm always mad. And I also probably can't recognize chaos because my world is enveloped in it every single day. I don't even pretend to understand what the hell is going on with my life but I certainly don't need someone telling me that God is the answer. And I don't need a lecture about everything that is wrong with me when I already know what those are. Give me answers, don't point out the problems. I got plenty of problems right now. Problems like thinking it's a good idea to eat nothing but bananas for a week in attempt to lose control of reality and spiral towards an unrelenting doom. Who would want something like that? Better yet, who would intentionally do that to themselves? That's how I know I'm already mad. Most people have some kind of kooky idea and laugh it off, never daring to try it because they know the outcome. Well I'm trying it even though I probably know how this will end. I'll give you a hint. It'll end like every other day of my life - I'll be sleeping alone. And living alone. And being alone. That's because I'm too busy trying to drive myself crazy instead of letting a woman do it. That line will for sure get me laid tonight. What girl doesn't want to hear that?
Bananas Consumed: 5
- pookon -
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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