Now don't get me wrong, I love drinking, gambling, naked women, sin, lies, deceit and all of the other magical things that make Las Vegas the happiest place on Earth, but f^*k Las Vegas. F^*k it right in the ear. I know that it sounds a little graphic and vile, but who reads this blog anyway? Now that my Google ads privileges have been revoked (which is a different story for a different day) I should no longer have forced traffic on this site. I call it forced traffic because I have been using rather extreme measures of force to get people to visit my website and blog so that my ad revenue, page views, and statistics increase. I have falsely gained readership, but once again that is a different story altogether. Basically, I'm implying that nobody reads this shit so I can say whatever the f^*k I want.
My whole reasoning by saying f^*k Las Vegas is because I'm sick of it. At my current job (name withheld due to content of this article) I talk about it every single day to people from all over the country. People who can't afford to go to Las Vegas are trying to go to Las Vegas to lose money that they can't afford to lose. Makes sense, right? People are so ridiculously cheap that they get pissed off when things cost a lot. Hello morons! It's 2008, shit costs money. Deal with it. If you aren't paying your rent or sending your kids off to school with proper winter attire, you shouldn't be gambling and drinking your money away. Go take care of your kids before they rob me in 5 years. I'm sick and tired of that filthy town, and aside from the World Series of Beer Pong (which is held in Las Vegas by default because they really is no other city in the country that could host an event like this) I will never go back. Especially since last time I was there, I saw people dragging their kids around. KIDS!! IN VEGAS!! What the hell are the kids going to do while Daddy is sleeping with prostitutes and gambling away their college tuition? I know, Las Vegas is trying to promote itself as family friendly and incorporating events for the whole family into their repertoire, but this city was built on whores and money, and it will always be that way. What the hell is the matter with these people?
When I was a kid, my parents took me to Washington D.C. to see the monuments, to go the Smithsonian Museum and the Holocaust Memorial. I learned a ton of things at those places. I've been to the Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore. I've been to NASA in Florida. Those places were fun for me, but they were also educational. My parents also took me to Disney World, Universal Studios, Noah's Ark in Wisconsin Dells, and various other places. But we never, never ever, never ever ever would have gone to a place like Las Vegas. My Mom had too much sense than to take us to hell on Earth when we were kids. My parents waited until we were old enough to access internet porn and have friends with fake IDs buy us booze to be corrupted. We didn't need to be prematurely corrupted. When it was time to find our friend's dad's Playboy stash, smoke our first cigar, and steal Dad's beer, it was our time. Think how much worse I would have been if I would have been corrupted at an earlier age. I could be in jail or dead. Which is much worse than my current situation right now (duh.)
Basically, I feel that it is an abomination that cheap people talk to me about Las Vegas and then take their kids there. But who the hell cares what I think? Obviously you do, because you have successfully made it to the bottom of this tirade. I'm better off for waiting until I was 20 to go to Las Vegas, and although I have been back several times since, I vow never to return unless extenuating circumstances (such as the World Series of Beer Pong) bring me back. I've got plenty of other places to go visit that don't sully my soul and prohibit me from entering the pearly gates of Heaven.
- pookon -
http://www.pookon.com/
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