My stomach is a jerk and I just grew a conscience

I repeat, my stomach is a jerk and I just grew a conscience.

For some reason, this seemed to be funny to me on the day that my mind came up with it. From the looks of it, I came up with this statement on the 21st of February around 2:30 pm. Judging from that time stamp, I was at work. When I'm at work, I sometimes have a little time to myself to come up with ideas and add content to my blog and my website. On the 21st, I had a really good idea that kind of went nowhere because I most likely got busy on the phones. Today (March 5) was the first day I have picked this up since then, so now i have no idea why I wrote that. So what's the point of this article then? Because that statement was, still is, and will always be hilarious. I think that the word jerk is one of the best curse words in the English. It's not terribly damaging (like some of the more hardcore curse words) and it kind of sounds funny when you say it out loud, which takes away from it's impact, allowing you to laugh it off. Think about it -

"Leave me alone, you big jerk!" , "Thanks for nothing jerk!" , "Move it or lose it, jerk!" , "What the hell's a matter with you jerk?" , "You better watch it jerk!"

I can't say it without laughing. Maybe I just have a different sense of humor that the rest of you jerks, but I wouldn't trade it for all of King Midas' Silver. If I can make myself laugh over something as silly as the word jerk, then I've accomplished my goal.

Back to the meaning of my statement. Using the Wikipedia, Nicholas Cage, and the knowledge of "top" scientists who look after the Ark of the Covenant, we have decided that this cryptic statement means that I was hungry and my emotions were beginning to sway my decisions. In fact, after deciphering that message, it's all coming back to my. My stomach was growling like the Terror Dogs in Ghostbusters, and I was getting pissed at it. "What the hell were they doing in my icebox?" Probably stealing my food, and that's why I'm hungry. Egads! I've solved the mystery! I also recall that I was having difficultly charging someone with a penalty on their vacation package because they made a mistake. I wanted to waive the penalties, but I wasn't allowed to. It was one of the first times that I actually cared for one of our customers and wanted to help them out. Normally they just piss me off cause they are stupid and ridiculously cheap. On that day, at that moment, my heart grew 3 sizes just like the Grinch and I decided to be nice. But since it was not my call, I had to charge penalties, and I ended looking like a jerk for not caring. I don't know why I suddenly grew a conscience, but it certainly didn't look like Jiminy Cricket and it didn't sing a song for me. Man, movies are f-ing bullshit. That Cricket jerk.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/