I'm not going to type a lot cause I'm not supposed to be doing this at work. But I like to rage against the machine, stand up to the man, and goof around at work. In your face corporate society!! I love using company time for personal gains. It's like taking a poop at work - everybody poops so why not get paid to do it. Plus then you can use their toilet paper, but they usually get the rough stuff. If you want the gentle double roll cotton stuff, you gotta hold it until you get home. But I'm not going to talk about pooping, because even though everyone poops, you don't poop if you don't eat. And this blog just became filled with 3rd grade humor. I guess I'm just shooting for the lowest common denominator again, and bathroom humor always kills with those people. You can go political or topical, and they'll stare blankly back at you. If you make fart noises with your mouth (or better yet, with a whoopie cushion) they'll fall out of their seats with laughter, clutching their sides and crying in the process. The whole world is doomed. To not think about the hunger, I need to think about other things to keep my mind sharp. In the next few days (if I can rock it that long) you'll be reading some very interesting stuff here. It's gonna be wild.So it's been 36 hours, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting a little bit hungry. But not that much really, because I rarely (except when there is free eats) eat at work. I'll snack on an occasional bag of chips or pretzels, but I mostly do my eating at Vitucci's 2. My biggest test (since every test from here on out is exponentially bigger than the one before it) will be when I get off the bus tonight and have to walk by McDonalds, Grecian Delight, Sil's and Chubby's Cheesesteaks without succumbing to the Temptations. Oh My Girl, It Was Just My Imagination. When I get home, I half expect Tim Meadows and a bunch of chicks to be in my bathroom eating hamburgers, then they will try and persuade me not to eat them. I think I kind of want them. Luckily for me there is no way in hell that Tim Meadows and some scantily clad women will be eating burgers in the bathroom, so I will have no problem resisting the temptations. Unless they turn bad feelings into good feelings, don't give you a hangover, are not habit forming, and are the cheapest shit there is. If they are, then I'm in trouble. Then God help me. God help us all.
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So I just totally almost ate a dum-dum lollipop. I wasn't even thinking. I unwrapped it and brought it near my mouth, but then I realized what I was doing. So what, it's only a lollipop, right? But that's how it starts. First it's a lollipop, then it's a couple of chips. Before you know it, you're eating one of those Renaissance Fair giant turkey legs and the gravy is dripping down your chin. And just like that, you're back to being a food junky again. Not me, I will not give in to the Temptations, no matter how good they sound. I won't even crack if some asshole walks down the hall carrying a bag of bag of delicious fatty food from Wendy's. Those devils are just not making this shit any easier. But I've come too far to turn back now. What if Frodo turned back when he reached the edge of the Shire? Then Middle Earth would have been screwed. Like Frodo, I will not quit. I'm gonna dispose of this cursed ring into the fiery depths of Mordor too. Then I'll be the hero of the world. Or just some dude who decided to go on a Hunger Strike for no reason. Whatever. But at least it gave me an excuse to waste company dollars by typing a lot. Work can rule sometimes. Later dudes.
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- pookon -
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email : pookondotcom@gmail.com
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