Beer Pong on the Rocks
By: Iceman
Week 6 – “A beer pong player looks at 25."
By: Iceman
Week 6 – “A beer pong player looks at 25."
I’m going to start out by explaining my articles this season. I had two purposes in wanting to write a column for this league. 1 - I felt like I had some good knowledge to pass on to other players, and 2 – I wanted to chronicle this season for myself so that I would remember it at a later date. I’ve been really straightforward with #1 (as seen with my lesson of the week in the past 5 articles) at times, but I’ve also been a little subtle with some of the other things I have learned about beer pong. #2 is something that I have done with my website for the past 5 years, and it is also something that I need to explain to the people who have questioned the content of my beer pong articles this season.
I have a really poor memory coupled with the fact that I have a short attention span. Because of this, I take tons of pictures and keep journals (in paper form and online) so that I can remember things that happen in my life. The content on my website, blog and this season’s Beer Pong on the Rocks articles are written for me to look back upon at a later date. I try to include relevant information for family, friends and also the stranger who stumbled upon it, but it is mostly for me. Let’s be honest here, most of you probably haven’t even visited my website, know nothing of my blog, nor have you taken the time to read my articles because they are all about Iceman and they are far too long. I know this people. One thing that I have always been is a pessimistic realist. Which is why I write for myself and not the general public. Years from now you will have forgotten that I wrote an article during season 7, but that’s exactly when I will revisit it and relive the memories. I’d apologize for my actions, but I don’t feel the need to.
And now I have some information for the beer pong players out there. I want to take a minute to talk about the dangers of beer pong. Dangers you say? It’s just a game, and a silly game at that. This is just another instance where Iceman pretends that beer pong is a serious sport and not just a goof around game amongst friends. But ladies and gentlemen, beer pong is a dangerous game. I’ll provide a short list of examples as to why I feel this is the case, but I’m sure that there are many many more. I’ve been sugar coating this game for 5 weeks now, and now it is time to look at the dark side of beer pong. I sense that you fear the dark side. Do not fear, for fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you. You fear the danger in beer pong because:
1. beer pong ruins lives
2. beer pong ruins friendships and relationships
3. beer pong ruins clothing
4. beer pong causes temporary and long term injuries
5. beer pong turns men into monsters
6. beer pong leads to poor decisions
1 – beer pong has made me the man I am today. Take a good look at me and you’ll certainly agree; I’d probably be better off without the heavy drinking. A couple drinks here and there aren’t so bad, but playing 30 games in one night and then spending the next day hung over and throwing up probably isn’t very good for your body. In the 4 years that I’ve been playing this game, I can’t count how many times I’ve been hung over and had to cancel plans, call in sick to work, or disappoint my friends and family because I forgot to show up somewhere important.
2 – beer pong has allowed me to make a lot of friends, but it has also cost me a lot of friends. I used to hang out with a different crowd until beer pong. I had a lot of friends, and then drinking and shooting ping-pong balls at beer cups became more important than anything else. Before long, my entire life was beer pong and my friends had moved on. I am grateful for the people I have met in league, but I also miss the people who I left behind when this game took over. I also find it hard to cheer for/against some people because they are my friends. It then becomes a question of who would I rather see win. Obviously, both teams cannot win; there are no ties in beer pong. If two of my friends square off, for me it’s a lose/lose situation when it comes to cheering. I should just keep my mouth shut. But we all know that it doesn’t happen that way.
3 – This one is humorous take on danger, but is something that should still be noted. Often when you step away from the table, you will look down and notice that you have contracted a wicked case of BPL, which stands for Beer Pong Leg. Spilled beer can sometimes accumulate on the table, and if not squeegeed properly, it can damage your clothing and leave a stain. Join the fight against BPL and remember to squeegee the table as often as necessary.
4 – Just like any other sport, injuries often come into play. Short-term injuries, like Brodey pulling a hamstring, sometimes sideline a person for a few shots or the remainder of the game. Long term injuries, like the over consumption of alcohol coupled with driving could lead to unwanted injuries. Hopefully everyone is smart and lucky enough to avoid long term, life-threatening injuries.
5 – Beer pong can turn men into monsters. Unfortunately, alcohol has the ability to bring out the worst in us. I wish that I could take back some of the things I’ve said or done under the influence, but those things are irreversible. If you’re not careful, you can lose everything with one simple word or action.
6 – quick drinking can lead to poor decisions, like not knowing when to quit while you’re ahead. It doesn’t seem like you’re drinking a lot because you’re only taking sips of beer at a time, but the rate that you are doing them is catastrophic. And then bam! You just got hit by a runaway locomotive.
You might not fall prey to the 6 dangers of beer pong that I have mentioned, but I mention them because at age 25, all of these dangers have the ability to terminate my game. Another reason why I wrote this article is because before this season, I had decided that this was going to be my last season of beer pong. I figured that I would introduce Joey Kanz to this league, graduate college, go for one last hurrah at the World Series of Beer Pong 2, then grow up and become an adult. I had seemingly lost my love for the game, and no longer cared about beer pong. Around week 4, I started to realize all of the things that I loved about it, and I am now playing the best I ever have in my career.
This season, I have overcome the biggest hurdle in my beer pong career – I have curbed the mental instability that used to be my downfall. I did it first by using the Baggar Vance method, and then seconded it by finally beating Brodey in beer pong. I consider Brodey to be the Godfather, my mentor, and by finally beating him in an important game, I feel like I am no longer the student; I am a colleague. This is a very important step for me, and I am now 100% confident in my beer pong ability.
As for Baggar Vance, I often settle down before my shot and remember that inside each and every one of us is one true authentic shot. It’s something' we were born with, something that's ours and ours alone. It’s something that can't be taught or learned, it’s something that has to be remembered. If you ever forget that shot, you just have to settle down and feel that focus. You have a lot of shots to choose from, but there's only ONE shot that's in perfect harmony with the table. One shot that's yours, your authentic shot, and that shot is gonna choose you. There's a perfect shot out there tryin' to find each and every one of us, all we have to do is get ourselves out of its way and let it choose us. You can't see those cups as some dragon you got to slay; you got to look with soft eyes. See the place where everything comes together, where everything that is, becomes one. You have got to seek that place with your soul, seek it with your hands and don't think about it; feel it. Your hands are wiser than your head is ever gonna be. That’s when I find my one true authentic shot.
Once I do this, the room becomes quiet and I no longer see the people on the other side of the table, all that I see is the beer inside of the cup. From there it just becomes a battle of me vs. the game. I’m the only one who can control whether I win or lose, and I feel like I am in complete control of the game at all times. The point of this all is that I feel the best that I ever have in beer pong, and I hope that one day you can all feel like I do.
Once again I’m a little behind on this article, so I can’t wish you all good luck in the playoffs because all but 8 teams have been eliminated. To those 8 teams – good luck and Godspeed. May you play well unless you happen to be playing my team…
Iceman’s lesson of the week - beer pong is a dangerous game. You might have been lucky enough to avoid danger thus far, but trust me; it’s out there waiting for you. Someday in the near future you will cross paths with danger. I can only hope that you are able to recognize it and handle it properly.
You know what really grinds my gears? – the short beer pong season. I understand that it can only be 6 weeks long in order for the season to wrap up before Thanksgiving, but I feel like it went by too quick. Now that some teams are eliminated from the playoffs, there’s a strong chance that some of those people won’t be there on league night. I know that there are some people who played in the league this year who I have yet to meet, and I apologize for not taking the time to stop and chat. I guess I’m too old and set in my ways to make the attempt to meet new people. I thank you for understanding. Friday night is just too short for me to play pong, get drunk, catch up with old friends and make some new ones. I’ll make an extra effort to get to know you if you come back next season.
Skemp – for your awesome Halloween costume. For those of you who missed it, Skemp went as Mr. Rogers. His wardrobe was spot on, plus he had gray hair and a nametag that said Hello Neighbor. I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween, but if more people took the effort to come up with a creative costume, I might be able to warm up to this holiday.
I have a really poor memory coupled with the fact that I have a short attention span. Because of this, I take tons of pictures and keep journals (in paper form and online) so that I can remember things that happen in my life. The content on my website, blog and this season’s Beer Pong on the Rocks articles are written for me to look back upon at a later date. I try to include relevant information for family, friends and also the stranger who stumbled upon it, but it is mostly for me. Let’s be honest here, most of you probably haven’t even visited my website, know nothing of my blog, nor have you taken the time to read my articles because they are all about Iceman and they are far too long. I know this people. One thing that I have always been is a pessimistic realist. Which is why I write for myself and not the general public. Years from now you will have forgotten that I wrote an article during season 7, but that’s exactly when I will revisit it and relive the memories. I’d apologize for my actions, but I don’t feel the need to.
And now I have some information for the beer pong players out there. I want to take a minute to talk about the dangers of beer pong. Dangers you say? It’s just a game, and a silly game at that. This is just another instance where Iceman pretends that beer pong is a serious sport and not just a goof around game amongst friends. But ladies and gentlemen, beer pong is a dangerous game. I’ll provide a short list of examples as to why I feel this is the case, but I’m sure that there are many many more. I’ve been sugar coating this game for 5 weeks now, and now it is time to look at the dark side of beer pong. I sense that you fear the dark side. Do not fear, for fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you. You fear the danger in beer pong because:
1. beer pong ruins lives
2. beer pong ruins friendships and relationships
3. beer pong ruins clothing
4. beer pong causes temporary and long term injuries
5. beer pong turns men into monsters
6. beer pong leads to poor decisions
1 – beer pong has made me the man I am today. Take a good look at me and you’ll certainly agree; I’d probably be better off without the heavy drinking. A couple drinks here and there aren’t so bad, but playing 30 games in one night and then spending the next day hung over and throwing up probably isn’t very good for your body. In the 4 years that I’ve been playing this game, I can’t count how many times I’ve been hung over and had to cancel plans, call in sick to work, or disappoint my friends and family because I forgot to show up somewhere important.
2 – beer pong has allowed me to make a lot of friends, but it has also cost me a lot of friends. I used to hang out with a different crowd until beer pong. I had a lot of friends, and then drinking and shooting ping-pong balls at beer cups became more important than anything else. Before long, my entire life was beer pong and my friends had moved on. I am grateful for the people I have met in league, but I also miss the people who I left behind when this game took over. I also find it hard to cheer for/against some people because they are my friends. It then becomes a question of who would I rather see win. Obviously, both teams cannot win; there are no ties in beer pong. If two of my friends square off, for me it’s a lose/lose situation when it comes to cheering. I should just keep my mouth shut. But we all know that it doesn’t happen that way.
3 – This one is humorous take on danger, but is something that should still be noted. Often when you step away from the table, you will look down and notice that you have contracted a wicked case of BPL, which stands for Beer Pong Leg. Spilled beer can sometimes accumulate on the table, and if not squeegeed properly, it can damage your clothing and leave a stain. Join the fight against BPL and remember to squeegee the table as often as necessary.
4 – Just like any other sport, injuries often come into play. Short-term injuries, like Brodey pulling a hamstring, sometimes sideline a person for a few shots or the remainder of the game. Long term injuries, like the over consumption of alcohol coupled with driving could lead to unwanted injuries. Hopefully everyone is smart and lucky enough to avoid long term, life-threatening injuries.
5 – Beer pong can turn men into monsters. Unfortunately, alcohol has the ability to bring out the worst in us. I wish that I could take back some of the things I’ve said or done under the influence, but those things are irreversible. If you’re not careful, you can lose everything with one simple word or action.
6 – quick drinking can lead to poor decisions, like not knowing when to quit while you’re ahead. It doesn’t seem like you’re drinking a lot because you’re only taking sips of beer at a time, but the rate that you are doing them is catastrophic. And then bam! You just got hit by a runaway locomotive.
You might not fall prey to the 6 dangers of beer pong that I have mentioned, but I mention them because at age 25, all of these dangers have the ability to terminate my game. Another reason why I wrote this article is because before this season, I had decided that this was going to be my last season of beer pong. I figured that I would introduce Joey Kanz to this league, graduate college, go for one last hurrah at the World Series of Beer Pong 2, then grow up and become an adult. I had seemingly lost my love for the game, and no longer cared about beer pong. Around week 4, I started to realize all of the things that I loved about it, and I am now playing the best I ever have in my career.
This season, I have overcome the biggest hurdle in my beer pong career – I have curbed the mental instability that used to be my downfall. I did it first by using the Baggar Vance method, and then seconded it by finally beating Brodey in beer pong. I consider Brodey to be the Godfather, my mentor, and by finally beating him in an important game, I feel like I am no longer the student; I am a colleague. This is a very important step for me, and I am now 100% confident in my beer pong ability.
As for Baggar Vance, I often settle down before my shot and remember that inside each and every one of us is one true authentic shot. It’s something' we were born with, something that's ours and ours alone. It’s something that can't be taught or learned, it’s something that has to be remembered. If you ever forget that shot, you just have to settle down and feel that focus. You have a lot of shots to choose from, but there's only ONE shot that's in perfect harmony with the table. One shot that's yours, your authentic shot, and that shot is gonna choose you. There's a perfect shot out there tryin' to find each and every one of us, all we have to do is get ourselves out of its way and let it choose us. You can't see those cups as some dragon you got to slay; you got to look with soft eyes. See the place where everything comes together, where everything that is, becomes one. You have got to seek that place with your soul, seek it with your hands and don't think about it; feel it. Your hands are wiser than your head is ever gonna be. That’s when I find my one true authentic shot.
Once I do this, the room becomes quiet and I no longer see the people on the other side of the table, all that I see is the beer inside of the cup. From there it just becomes a battle of me vs. the game. I’m the only one who can control whether I win or lose, and I feel like I am in complete control of the game at all times. The point of this all is that I feel the best that I ever have in beer pong, and I hope that one day you can all feel like I do.
Once again I’m a little behind on this article, so I can’t wish you all good luck in the playoffs because all but 8 teams have been eliminated. To those 8 teams – good luck and Godspeed. May you play well unless you happen to be playing my team…
Iceman’s lesson of the week - beer pong is a dangerous game. You might have been lucky enough to avoid danger thus far, but trust me; it’s out there waiting for you. Someday in the near future you will cross paths with danger. I can only hope that you are able to recognize it and handle it properly.
You know what really grinds my gears? – the short beer pong season. I understand that it can only be 6 weeks long in order for the season to wrap up before Thanksgiving, but I feel like it went by too quick. Now that some teams are eliminated from the playoffs, there’s a strong chance that some of those people won’t be there on league night. I know that there are some people who played in the league this year who I have yet to meet, and I apologize for not taking the time to stop and chat. I guess I’m too old and set in my ways to make the attempt to meet new people. I thank you for understanding. Friday night is just too short for me to play pong, get drunk, catch up with old friends and make some new ones. I’ll make an extra effort to get to know you if you come back next season.
Skemp – for your awesome Halloween costume. For those of you who missed it, Skemp went as Mr. Rogers. His wardrobe was spot on, plus he had gray hair and a nametag that said Hello Neighbor. I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween, but if more people took the effort to come up with a creative costume, I might be able to warm up to this holiday.
Well, it’s time for me to rock and ride my friends, so I guess I’ll see you next time.
Until then –
I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin', Got to go fishin',
I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.
I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin', Got to go fishin',
I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.
– Iceman –
www.pookon.com
www.pookon.com
