The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 23 - I Only Gamble With My Life

I've had a lot of very interesting days in my life - some good and some bad. I like to try and forget the bad ones even though they are ingrained in my memory. The good ones I don't want to ever forget. But what about the ones that were equally as good and bad? What should I do about those days? I should share them with you. You're welcome in advance. This episode is a departure from the normal structure of this podcast but I had to do something like this again after I had so much fun with it last time I was in Las Vegas. If you listened to Episode 19 - Operation Dawn (which was recorded in March 2013 on my first night out there for a friend's wedding) then you know exactly how this one is going to turn out. The title of this episode comes from 1999's The Mummy. In it, Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) is asked to join in a card game, to which he responds, "I only gamble with my life, never my money." I wish I was the same way, especially after this recent adventure. The truth is that I'm a gambling addict and I can't stay away from Las Vegas even though she repeatedly steals money from my wallet and leaves me lying unsatisfied in a drunken stupor. But like someone in an abused relationship, they go against their better judgment and keep coming back.

This was on the tail end of my trip down to Arizona to watch the Milwaukee Brewers play some Spring Training baseball. It was my plan all along to make the 5 hour drive to Las Vegas but I didn't plan on getting my ass kicked on the first night. I guess I was just ready to blow off some steam and I hit the ground running pretty hard. I was way too drunk to remember to record that night, so I did it the following night when I went to Planet Hollywood. I apologize if I sound a little down but I definitely wasn't as drunk as the night before (no one should ever be), I had already lost all of my allocated gambling money and I had arrived at this casino only to find they removed my Penguin slot machine where I could sit and creepily ogle the scantily clad dancing girls. That was my favorite spot in all of Las Vegas. But I decided to record anyway, and the result is still highly entertaining. 

This podcast is actually 3 separate recordings stitched together. The first 32 minutes were recorded at Planet Hollywood on Monday March 17 while playing some Caesar age of the Roman Empire type slot machine. The next 15 minutes were recorded on Sunday March 16 at the Plaza Casino downtown at like 3 in the morning while playing some slot machine next to some random girl. The last 8 minutes are at 4 in the morning on that same night when I was just about to pass out from a long night of drinking and gambling. I know it's not in the right order as far as when they were recorded, but in some drunken way it kind of makes sense. So kick back, open up a beverage (of the alcoholic kind if you're not at work) and get ready for what I think about when I'm in Las Vegas:

Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 23 - I Only Gamble With My Life: http://pookon.com/music/dtsa-ep23-gamble.mp3

I spent most of the day hungover laying in bed watching Boy Meets World. Hell of a way to spend a day in Las Vegas. By the time that I could stomach water and food, almost the entire day had passed. Thankfully I was in Las Vegas and there is plenty to do at night, so I took my car down to to the Strip and wandered around for a bit before settling in at the Planet Hollywood to record this episode. Here is a sampling of my Twitter account @pookondotcom from that night when I got into the usual hi-jinks that come from hanging out by yourself and drinking in a foreign city. As you can imagine, things got a little weird. They always do.

Playing Reels O'Dublin at Margaritaville. After all, it is #StPatricksDay. Might as well do something Irish. #LasVegas

The drink girls at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville wear bikinis. Iceman likes. Mostly because I'm sad, pathetic and single. #LasVegas

I got a Landshark Lager as my "free" beer. I wish I could stay here all day. They have some great music. #Margaritaville #LasVegas

I'm starting to think that I'm unlucky. Oh really Iceman? What tipped you off? When you lost all that money? #LasVegas

It's not even fair how bad I am doing. It's like they should invent a new phrase, like "pulling an Iceman". #loser #LasVegas

My drink girl at Margaritaville had some really nice totties. If I was just a little more drunk, I would've told her. #SexyTime #LasVegas

Roamed the halls of the Flamingo looking for an ice machine. Something tells me I've been here before... #WSoBP #LasVegas

Drinking a potent mixture of rum, whiskey and mountain dew. If this thing kills me, I've led a horrifying life. #rage

Trying to find my favorite slot at Planet Hollywood. Where I can creepily ogle the dancing girls. And I can't find it. #Drunk

Either my bearings are off or they got rid of my favorite machine. I can't find it here. #sadness #LasVegas

I'm seriously upset right now. How am I supposed to creepily ogle the dancing girls now without looking weird? #LasVegas

I feel like another part of me has died. Las Vegas as I know it is no more. I don't ever want to come back here again. #sadness

I'm really upset here. I made one heck of a journey to get here only to find no prize at the finish line. #sadness #LasVegas

I feel like Forrest Gump when he's done running. "I'm pretty tired. I guess I'll go home now." #LasVegas

Don't get me wrong. I love noise. I would eat it for breakfast. But I can't stand noise just for the sake of noise. #LasVegas

Despite all the weird looks I got, I recorded a drunken podcast in #LasVegas. Just as you requested @MPW8279.

#LasVegas doesn't give a fuck that it is a Monday night and neither do I. Hell of a town. #rage

(I'm laughing at some random thing I saw, cackling like a maniac) Random: are you ok man? Me: no way. Not at all. #LasVegas

Drinking wine while watching the Bellagio Fountain show. I have to keep it classy. That's the only way to live. #LasVegas

Sang some Celine Dion at Bellagio with some beautiful girls from New Zealand. It's always good to be the Iceman. #LasVegas

After meeting those girls I definitely want my wife to be from New Zealand. What's sexier than a foreign accent? #LasVegas

Got a Corona and I'm playing Fireball. After this I can definitely call it quits. #LasVegas

Thanks for joining me on yet another adventure. I spend a lot of time alone, which is why I take to my Twitter account to invite the World (well, actually my 270 followers or whomever ends up randomly seeing my tweets because of my hashtags) to come along with me. These things that I put on there are my actual thoughts or things that I did or said. There is no lying or manipulation of the truth. Where's the fun in that? It's hilarious because it's true. I really am this strange. No wonder why I don't have anyone to hang out with on a Saturday night or a girlfriend. Is it that hard to believe? It's a gift and a curse. I can entertain the masses and draw in but at the same time I push everybody away. But that's life. That's what I experience along my drive. Thanks for riding shotgun for a bit. Remember to tip the valet.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

The Write Month: June 18 - A Mild Addiction

And I'm not talking about taco sauce here folks. Oh we'll get to the sauce, but a completely different kind of sauce if you know what I mean. But let me start out by saying that I don’t completely understand addiction, so let me apologize to anyone who is actually facing a real inner struggle. I don’t want to come off as condescending or insensitive to your problems when I make light of addiction as it applies to me. Let it be known for the record that I speak for myself and can’t even figure out what the hell is happening in my life most of the time. There will never be a time when I speak on behalf of the human race, animal kingdom, league of midgets, circus act The Flying Scoleri Brothers, Genie Childcare on 51st and Teutonia, the original Black Ranger Zack Taylor (played by Walter Emmanuel Jones, Wayne Brady’s half-brother) from Season 1 of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Future Farmers of America (The FFA) or any of the other members of this Universe that I don't have time to mention right now. Basically what I'm about to say only applies to myself so don't get all worked up about me trivializing addiction.

I can't say that I'm truly addicted to anything. Everyone knows the usual addictions out there like booze, gambling, sex, drugs and rock and roll but I'm sure there are many other things that people can not do without and become dependent on. If we are talking addiction here then I guess I'm hooked on food, water, oxygen and rage. Can't go a day without those things although my Doctor would probably say that I could stand to go a few days (weeks even) without food. And that leads to my first semi-addiction. We're not talking about trucks here people but I do have a strange affinity for Optimus Prime. I'm talking about some of the cargo those trucks haul - delicious food. I love food. You've seen me. I'm bigger than most people in the state of Wisconsin and that's saying a lot. I can't stop eating even when I am not hungry. Its so damn good man. It's the highlight of my day when I get to sit down and munch and crunch on some goodies. And don't even offer me free eats. If I know something is about to go bad or be thrown away but it is still edible I'll eat it. I cry in movies where people do something like order a pizza then don't eat all of it. Hey pal! Don't waste! Give me some of that shit. I'm like a human garbage disposal when it comes to free food. I have bum mentality where I eat as much as I can when it is available because I never know when I get to eat again. Only there is always another meal coming. I never starve. I have 2 jobs and a family that always feeds me. I never have to worry about going hungry. But still I suck down free eats just in case. I love food more than a lot of things in this world but I still wouldn't call it an addiction.

I guess I could also can say that I have a gambling problem. But I still wouldn't classify it as an addiction because it's not traditional in the way that you think. I usually only gamble with my life, never with my money. But when I do step inside a casino I just lose my fucking mind and get caught up in the possibility of hitting the big time and solving all of my financial woes in one quick push of the button. I can't walk away. I get caught up in all of the loud noises and flashing lights. I become a spectacle as I cheer on the bonus game. When I win I jump out of my chair, dancing around in a circle slapping my ass like Happy Gilmore after he sinks a big putt. Hours later I realize that time has passed and I have lost more money than I can afford to part with. I have no limits. But it is not just casinos that get me. Oh no. Hang out with me often enough and you'll find yourself on the winning end of several stupid bets that I make. I have paid for portions of Cousin Kevin's tattoos because of a bet. I have purchased juice boxes or beers for my pal Mike Wilhelm because of bets I made against Zack Greinke or Yovani Gallardo. I also bet Mike $100 that I would die before I am 40 and he gets to collect on my 40th birthday or tuck the $100 in my pocket at my funeral. That's fucking insane. What do I stand to gain on that bet? I know there are other examples but I don't want to embarrass myself further.

And then there's the sauce. Once again we're not talking about the one you put on tacos. I do tend to drink more often than most people do but it's not like I do it every day and I don't let it control my life. I can go without it and it's not like I'm drunk 24/7. I know that these sound like excuses or me dodging the issue (don't they say that denial is one of the first signs of being an addict?) but I think I would know if it were true. I bet other people have their own opinion (especially if you ask my Mother) but that doesn't concern me. The big thing for me to prove that I'm in control is that I don't let any of these things run my life. I pay all of my bills, work 2 jobs and take care of my cat. I maintain healthy relationships with my friends and family. To my knowledge I have not destroyed any part of my life through eating, gambling and drinking. The only argument that I can see against my case is that I have ruined my own life for the most part because of my weight, lack of a savings account and unwillingness to socialize with other people. I'd rather stay home by myself. Deal with it. 

This is just the surface here of what I think are just mild addictions. Everyone has something that they love to do that they know are bad for them. Some are more serious than others but who is to say what is better or worse? Like all things moderation is the key and I know I've done a good job of balancing them. I only go to the casino for special occasions (Las Vegas, Afterglow, bachelor parties) and can't afford to spend a lot so I don't. It's not like I'm pulling down $60,000 a year and I have a lavish lifestyle. A paycheck to paycheck guy can't pay all of his bills then squander the rest at Potawatomi because there is no rest. I don't have expendable income so I am able to steer clear of temptation. Same goes with the food and booze. Does that mean I'm not an addict because I can't afford to be? Maybe. But don't don't real addicts get their fix by any means even if they have to lie, cheat, steal or screw over their friends and family? You won't see me doing that. Do I have a problem? Yes. Can I fix the problem? Yes. Do I know how? Not exactly. Does the problem run my life? I don't think so. So why is this an issue? Because right now I just have a mild addiction which could get worse if left untreated. I'm just going to leave it at that for now. And therein lies the problem...

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom