Who's A Rock Star?

I am. That's right. There's no other way to say it than by stating the obvious. And while I do that, I also need to reference Josie and The Pussycats. I've been watching this movie a lot lately and I'm not ashamed to admit that it's one of my guilty pleasures. I have an unhealthy obsession with pop music, women who sing and play guitar and Rachel Leigh Cook. All of these things come together in Josie and The Pussycats. And it is glorious. I love this movie more than any man should. But what does that have to do with anything right now? It's because I am a rock star. When I think about that statement I think about two things - this clip from the movie and something that writer/director Kevin Smith once said. This clip (at the bottom of the page) speaks for itself. You need to only watch this to know where I got this from. It's a very simple message but it is so true. If you say something and convince yourself that it is a reality, it becomes real. Just like "Do. Or do not. There is no try." or "Don't think you are - know you are." Yeah, they're movie quotes but they are so incredibly true. There's a reason people have been saying them long after the films were released and they have become legendary. But how much do you actually believe in them and practice them in your daily life?

Kevin Smith talks (a lot). I know that is pretty ironic from a guy who is known as Silent Bob. But the man is a genius. I could go on and on about how much I admire and subscribe to his philosophies, but he has said so many things that I have taken to heart. One of the things that he talks about is when he was thinking about going to film school to become a filmmaker. He told his sister that he wanted to be a filmmaker. She said be a filmmaker. He said that's why he was going to school, to be a filmmaker. She said no, don't want to be it, don't try to be it, don't work to be it; simply be it. It's very simple really. Don't set goals for the future that you are working towards. Tell yourself from Day 1 that you are that thing that you want to be, and you will become that thing because you have been it from the start. If this doesn't make sense, then you just don't get it. I'll try and make this crystal clear - If I don't say that I am currently a Rock Star, then I will never be one. That's just one of the many things that I have learned from him. That and chasing whimsies...

I played guitar last night. In a bar. With other people around. Now before you start thinking that I had an audience chanting my name, I will tell you to slow down. I'm not there yet. My friend Heather handed me her guitar as she was putting it away after her gig. So I started playing a few songs. And it may have been the wine going to my head (I got a free glass of wine from a gay guy. Don't ask) but I actually sounded good. Real good. Better than I have ever sounded before. I have been playing a lot more lately, but I still don't play as much as I would like to. I don't even practice as much as an amateur should. But I felt like a true musician. I felt like I belonged up on stage or in a circle of friends providing the entertainment. I was never this guy before. I was also the supporting member of a band getting by on my good looks and marginal talent. OK, so I didn't have the good looks part down, but one can dream right? But the whole point of this is that I took a giant step forward last night and another step towards my ultimate goal as a singer/guitar player - performing in front of people that I don't know (like an open mic night). I know that sounds like a very achievable goal to most people, but I have a real issue with confidence and being the center of attention. If I play anything like I did last night, I'm on my way.

I'll leave you with a clip from Josie and the Pussycats that inspired this article. This is a movie that is surprisingly making it's way into my top 10. I'm not ashamed to admit when I love a movie (because Lord knows that I love Keanu Reeves in The Replacements more than anyone should. In fact, I almost named my cat Shane Falco before deciding that he looked more like a Korben Dallas), but this goes beyond loving the movie - I love Josie. And I love Rachael Leigh Cook too. I can't decide which one I love more, but I can decide on one thing - I AM a Rockstar. Just like my girl Josie.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 24th - Be A Guitar Hero

My family is very talented when it comes to music. If Jenny and I put our skills to good use and practiced more often, we could really do something great in this world. Timmy had the talent and the drive. He was my guitar hero. But even though Jenny and I know how to play real guitar, we'll never be as good in real life as we are on the video game Guitar Hero. Jenny and I had been talking about playing this game again for the last couple of weeks, and when Brandon also expressed interest (along with the assumption that he was better than us at the game) we set up a night to play. Since I only used my Playstation 2 once in the last year (the experiment gone wrong episode of The Drive to Stay Alive called Drunk Driving in Vice City) and haven't played Guitar Hero for like 3 years, I was anxious to bust out this gem and relive some old memories. We played the shit out of this game from when I was first introduced to the game at Jason and Guppy's to late night jam sessions with Joey Kanz. I've played every version of the game and rocked just about every track. This game will always hold a place in my heart and I intend to hold on to it and play it in front of my kids (if I ever have kids) and embarrass them with how lame video games used to be.

We played a lot of Guitar Hero back in the day. And I mean a lot. Probably more than anyone should have played. In hindsight we should have done something more constructive with our lives, but it was a hell of a lot of fun at the time. One of the things that always impressed me was how bad Timmy was at the game Guitar Hero. Why did that impress me? Because a real musician should not excel at a video game version of the game. They shouldn't waste their time pushing colored buttons when the game instructs them to do so. They don't see the songs like that. They feel them in their hearts. Since he was so bad at the game he would sit in the back of the room and play along with the song on a real guitar. Often he would strum the chords not because he knew the song, but because he was able to pick it up by ear. Having that kind of skill for recognition astounds me. I can't memorize the chords or words to a song if I've played it 100 times. He could pick it up in less than a minute. While we were smashing buttons he was picking strings, playing his own solo perfectly to the digital sound emitting from the speakers. I would put on a show while playing the game. Putting the guitar behind my head, behind my back or even turning my entire body away from the TV because I knew the button pattern by heart. But the real show was Timmy who could do it in real life. I'd give anything to have that kind of talent for music.

But until I hone my skills on the 7th instrument (piano, trumpet, saxophone, french horn, trombone, tuba and guitar) that I learned to play, I will have to settle for being a video game Guitar Hero. It's not all bad though. Jenny fancies herself a pro at this game, and she is pretty damn good too. The only player she can't beat is Joey Kanz. That drives her crazy. She unleashes her wrath on anyone who dares to challenge her, and there were fighting words thrown around on Wednesday night when we played Guitar Hero III. At one point she was destroying Brandon by so much that she offered to give him a chance by playing behind her head. He still didn't stand a chance as she beat him mercilessly while showing off at the same time. I loved every minute of it. My sister is tough and she doesn't take shit from anyone. I didn't even bother playing her one-on-one. There are some battles that are not worth fighting. But one battle that I should be engaged in is the one against my own self-doubt. I don't think I will ever be good at guitar so I don't practice enough. I have the natural ability. I have my parents to thank for that. I promised Timmy that I would be a Guitar Hero. I'm not there yet. But I will be. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying. There are many pickles in this jar, and I intend to share another one with you again tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I certainly don't. And I'm playing lead guitar in this band.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

"7 in 7" - Wasting Away Again in TVLand - Day 7

On Sunday (not Friday) I was just sitting around the house not doing much. I would have called my best friend to come over and sit on the front porch with me but it was winter and my best friend lives up in Black Duck, Minnesota. So instead I hung out in the living room with Jenny Reck. She was doing laundry and I was sitting around listening to music. It was a very unproductive day for me. When she said that she was going to take a nap I decided that is was time to go find my electric guitar and rock out. I had been looking forward to this moment all week and I finally had the time to do it. I searched high and low for a working electric guitar but the only one that I found was one that Timmy has built for me like 4 years ago. It's not a very good guitar but that's ok because I'm not a very good guitar player. There could be a pretty good reason why this guitar wasn't the best. He could have lacked the knowledge or tools needed to make a quality guitar. Or maybe he just never got around to finishing it. But the truth is I'm thankful just to have it. I never valued it before because it didn't have any value to me but now I can realize just how cool it is that my little brother made me a guitar. He wired it and finished it himself. That having been said I apologize if the videos before aren't any good. For starters I don't think I've ever played an electric guitar before and I don't really know how to use an amp properly. And then I forgot some of the words and chords to the songs that I was playing. And finally when you break it down I just kind of suck at guitar. But I am trying to get better.

Here I am playing a song by 4 Non Blondes called "What's Up." If you were alive in the 90's then you certainly are familiar with this song and it has gained popularity for being one of those one hit wonder kind of songs. It has always been a personal favorite of mine because it allows me to sing in my head voice, be obnoxious and sing really loud. I usually reserve this kind of nonsense for when nobody is around but thanks to the beauty of the internet I will now share it with all of you. You're welcome.

Timmy's guilty pleasure music group was The Cranberries and his favorite song was "Zombie." Timmy had a thing for zombies and he adored all of George Romero's "______ of the Dead" movies and even wrote his own song about zombies. It featured lyrics that came right out of those movies like heading towards the local retail store when they start taking over the world. I learned this song a while back and like to play it often because it makes me think of Timmy. Plus it gives me a pretty good chance to showcase my vocal stylings and range. It's pretty ridiculous but somehow it works for me. I just hope that someday I'm able to get better at guitar so that I can take my show on the road and impress the ladies with my renditions of 90's pop songs.

So that is basically my life now. I still live at my Mom's house and I hang out in my basement "No Girls Allowed" clubhouse and figure out new ways to turn away the opposite sex. I'm sure that chicks dig me hard core because I'm a trivia master and I would wear pajama pants and sleeveless shirts all day every day if my work didn't have a dress code. I wish that I had my own cable access show and that people around town worshiped me because of my local celebrity status. Well I do kind of have that going for me because people do recognize me as either "that guy from the beer pong movie" or "that guy in the bleachers with the sombrero" and at Saturday night's Bucks game Jenny and I did have backstage laminates. So we're pretty close to being Wayne + Garth with the exception of the cable access show. But it will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine. When I lived with Aaron, Brodey, this dude Craig and TJ slept on our couch for $80 a month we considered putting a show on public TV and doing new episodes every week. It would have been a pretty sweet and in retrospect I wish that we would have done it if only for a few months. It would have been pretty sweet to look back on a reminisce about the good old days. But that didn't happen and I can't linger on it any longer. Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, have to, have to?

So this is basically the end of this adventure. For 7 straight days I didn't knowingly or purposefully watch TV or movies and chose to instead use that time to write or play guitar. And you know what I have learned? It's something that I already knew but is still very important - moderation is the key. That having been said I would still rather choose to fully indulge myself in these lovely ladies or the massive beer mugs they are holding. Can it be both? There would be no moderation. I would go to town. You better believe it. Especially because the blonde looks like this chick I went to college with and had a major crush on. She was also a communications major and we had a lot of the same classes. Damn man really takes me back and makes me forget about what I was writing about. Scan back a few sentences and...OK now I remember - moderation. Watching TV or movies isn't bad but if you do it all day every day and don't accomplish anything else then it is a bad thing. There is so much to do in this world and sometimes we lose our focus and end up getting stuck in a cycle. It's so easy to veg out and watch someone else's life unfold on TV instead of living your own. Life is tough and sometimes people choose to escape from it. Well I'm tired of running away from mine and although I can't promise to always dedicate an entire week to writing I can promise that I will always take time to do it. I have realized that I need a creative outlet for my ideas because if they fester inside of me I drive myself crazy. I have to let them out and like I said in an earlier post the best way that I know how is to use my words. So look forward to plenty more blog posts in the future and if you've been along for the ride for this "7 in 7" thing I promise you that you ain't seen nothing yet. I can take this virtually in any direction and the possibilities are endless.

Remember yesterday how I said I wanted to make Mila Kunis my girlfriend? Well that would be cool and all but I would totally make Natalie Portman my everything. I've had a thing for her since Day 1 and after watching Star Wars Episodes I, II and III tonight I am more convinced than ever. I have decided that after every 7 day challenge I would give myself a buffer day or a recovery day before starting my next challenge. I am writing this during that day and I went to go see Episode I - The Phantom Menace in theaters in 3D and I can honestly say that she looked fantastic. And before you get all up in my face about the fact that she was so young in the first movie I'll have you know that she was born in 1981 and that we are the same age, so there's nothing creepy about it. I mean I don't have a framed poster of "Where the Heart Is" on my wall or anything. That would be wrong. And she's married and has a kid and shit. She's happy. What would she want with some loser like me? But one can dream, right? Sometimes I just sit back and put on the Ozma song "Natalie Portman." Check it out sometime. It says exactly what I want to say and it couldn't be closer to the truth. This week I have had the opportunity to sit and listen music and I can totally understand why people use it as a form of expression. Someday I hope to have the skills required to be able to write a song so truthful and moving that it expresses everything that I am feeling. Until I reach that point I will just have to use other people's songs to accomplish that. But it's better than nothing, right? Besides I still have a lot of work to do if I am ever able to get a girl like Natalie, let alone any girl, which leads us to my next "7 in 7" challenge.

I am totally unattractive. No girl in their right mind would want to be with me as evident by my lack of girlfriend at the moment. I'm pretty sure that I have the brains, award winning personality and fantastic sense of humor that the female of our species crave but I'm really lacking in the looks department. Despite all the nonsense that people throw around like beauty is in the eye of the beholder and inner beauty is what really counts, physical appearance matters a whole lot because that's the first thing they see and the lasting image that permeates the mind when your name is brought up. I'm an ugly person and I'm also heavy in the midsection. Well might as well stop dancing around the issue - I'm fat and I could stand to drop a couple hundred pounds. This shit has gone on too long and I have become complacent with being single and lonely. Is it a coincidence that I am writing this on Valentine's Day and the only one that I have to spend it with is my cat Coach Gordon Bombay? Yeah maybe but it's more of the fact that I'm just getting sick of this shit. I can't love anyone, nor can anyone love me until I love myself. And at my current state no one could love me. That's why I have to improve my outside appearance so that it matches what it inside. And the only way that I know how to do that is to work out, eat right and hopefully lose some of this weight I've been carrying around. It's no secret that I'm large and in charge and that people call me the white Fat Albert behind my back. Oh c'mon. I've heard you whisper "Hey hey hey!" as I've walked down the hallway. And I would get made if it wasn't true. Hell people used to say that I looked like Jonah Hill but know he went and lost all that weight. So I'm just going to have to go ahead and do that as well so I always look like someone. Looking like me has never really worked out so I might as well copy someone, right?

The whole purpose of this "7 in 7" series was to take away something, add something, or change something in my life in a short period of time so I would notice the difference. When I took away TV and movies for a week and replaced it with writing and playing guitar I realized that I really don't need TV and movies in my life and that I am better off if I devote my time to something that matters more and gives me more enjoyment. When the 7 days are over I will resume watching TV but I hope to do it less often and not let it rule my life any longer. It is only in the absence that we can truly appreciate what we do have. Giving up something that tied me down has kick started my passion for writing and I'm now doing it more than ever. So that is why I proposed that I work out at the gym for 7 days in a row (starting Tuesday February 14) in a effort to kick start myself into the habit of taking care of myself. I tried to care at one point and I currently have a membership to Anytime Fitness that is going to waste. It's time to use it and make better of myself. During these next 7 days I will be working out every night and I will also try to eat healthy as well. This means cutting out all snacks, fast food and all of the other garbage that I put into my body. It will be one of the toughest weeks of my entire life but I need a shock to wake me up from the deep slumber that my life has become. The hope is that by the end of the week I'll be tired as shit but I will also feel a lot better and maybe try to get into some kind of routine where I will be working out on a regular basis. Who knows if it will work but I have to at least give it a go. You never really know until you try and one thing that I know for sure is that I will die if I keep living like this so something has to change. And in the end that's all this "7 in 7" thing is. To experience something different and hopefully be more accepting of change for the better. I guess we'll see what happens in a few days if I'm able to move enough to type something here. I have a feeling that my lazy ass is going to quit this one and not make the 7 days but then again I have surprised myself. Once I kissed a girl. Growing up I never thought I'd do that. So there is hope for me yet. But damn to hell the person who thought of this idea... 

 - pookon - 

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

"7 in 7" - Wasting Away Again in TVLand - Day 1

I was so sucked in by the magical glowing box that I'm surprised that my roommate didn't start calling me Carol Anne. One time in this creepy little girl voice I said, "They're here..." and that was when I knew I had enough. TV is a total waste of time. There is nothing redeeming about the box and it really serves no purpose. I'll admit that I'm a victim of it as will most every other American citizen. It's our way of life and a huge part of our culture. Honestly if it wasn't for sporting events (well really just the Milwaukee Bucks and the Milwaukee Brewers) I wouldn't need TV at all because to me that's the only thing out there worth watching. I can't even begin to comprehend how many hours of my life I have lost to this device, so I'm going to see what happens when I take a week away from the boob tube.

This whole idea stemmed out of three things that have been been on my mind lately. The first thing is my side venture which I like to call the Pookon Empire which consists of this here blog, Pookon.com, TimReck.com and The Reck Room Page on Facebook as well as any other miscellaneous project that falls underneath that umbrella. I always intended to use this blog to share random ideas and to be able to free write in a way that my website doesn't allow me. I don't care if people come here to read it, but I still try to make it entertaining in case they do choose to spend a few minutes here with me. But it feels like the only things I have posted here in a year's time are the Milwaukee Brewers "25 in 25" entries and updates from the World Series of Beer Pong VII. While those entries I did are some of the best things I've ever worked on, they just aren't enough because I have so many ideas swimming in my head. I consider myself to be a very creative person as well as an award-winning writer, and 37 (I'm 37!?!) blog entries just don't cut it seeing as the possibilities are endless. So this week I'm going to instead focus on writing instead of watching marathons of Storage Wars or Full House.

This kind of goes hand-in-hand with #1 so I figure that I'll call it #1.5. I'm seriously at least 6 months behind on my work over at Pookon.com. Right now I'm trying to finish up Afterglow 2011 and I really should considering that as of today (February 6th) we'll be back up there again in 165 days. That may seem like a lot but Opening Day for the Milwaukee Brewers is in 60 days. I work at Miller Park, so from April until October I'm working two jobs and upwards of 60 hours a week plus all the time I commit to watching every single game home and away. It's a huge commitment in my life but I wouldn't have it any other way. That having been said it still does take up the majority of my free time in the summer and the rest is spent hanging out and doing summer things here in Wisconsin. The bottom line is that I don't do a whole lot of writing in the summer because I'm so busy doing other things. So in a vicious cycle I keep on taking pictures that I want to post and comment on for my website but I'm backlogged still working on things from last year. So instead of watching TV I should be doing that instead.

The 2nd thing is something that has become very important to me since my brother Timmy died. If you didn't know much about him you probably at least knew that he was a musician and played guitar, drums, piano and pretty much anything with strings or keys. He was a very talented musician and person and the same blood that moved him to be great in life also flows through my veins. We get our talents from our parents who are both  very good singers and musicians. They pushed us to play instruments and sing in choir since we could talk but I kind of dropped music to work more on my writing after High School. Timmy honed his talents and decided to make music his life. I've been playing guitar off and on for about 8 years now but I was never any good. My musical talent lies in my voice. Timmy played guitar and I sang. That was the dynamic we had in our band June's Blanket. He also played in our Afterglow campfire group The Uncle Greg Band. I figured that as long as I had Timmy I didn't really need to play guitar. But I don't have Timmy anymore. Not physically at least. As he lay in the hospital kept "alive" by machines I promised him that I would learn to play guitar well enough to play around the campfire on vacation. I never intended to be the next Eddie Van Halen, Jimi Hendrix or Tim Reck. That was never important to me. I just wanted to be able to play in front of family and friends. So instead of wasting my time watching people on TV do things I am going to do things instead. Like being a rockstar and jamming out the hits of REO Speedwagon.

The last reason why I wanted to do this is to start a new kind of experiment that requires me to make some kind of change for a week so that I alter my lifestyle and live outside of my comfort zone if only for 7 short days. I call it "7 in 7" and it might feature 7 things in 7 days or 1 thing for a whole week. The common theme is that I will have to write an article about it every day describing my experiences. I have a whole list of ideas that range from "Going Bananas" (eating nothing but bananas for 7 days or until I go crazy, whichever one comes first) to every day donating $15 to a charity or a charitable cause and explain why I picked it and also why it is important. Too often we go through the motions. Wake up, go to work. Punch in, punch out. Go home make dinner. Watch some TV and go to bed. That's no way to live. We need to constantly challenge ourselves in a matter that stimulates our brains. This will be different for everyone but for me this means creating something out of nothing, and the best way that I know how to do that is to use my words. So for the next 7 days I'm not going to watch TV or movies. I understand that I can't avoid it like if it is on at a bar or I'm over at someone's house and they have it on. I'm not going to tell them to turn it off. This is my fight. There's no reason to involve other people. I am just pledging to not purposely watch TV or movies while I attempt to catch up on things like my website and guitar playing, which are the two things troubling me most like you read before. 

The whole not watching TV thing will be fine because most of what is on there is garbage but what's going to be hard is not watching movies. I honestly watch at least 1 movie per day and sometimes on the weekends it's not uncommon for me to watch 4 or 5 in a day. Why just about a week ago I watched 50/50, 500 Days of Summer, 10 Things I Hate About You, Inception and then Rise of the Planet of the Apes. All in a row no less. Now I sometimes manage to work on something like the website or some other shit while the movie plays in the background but I can't help like sit and watch Inception for the 4th time and still sit there wondering just what the hell is going on. I suppose that I just need a break and go back to what used to give me so much joy before I sat and stared at a glowing idol.

I have no doubt in my mind that I will be able to complete this task. Giving up a week of anything (besides breathing and drinking water) isn't very hard. It's just 7 days. In the grand scheme of life that's such a minuscule segment of time that it really doesn't matter. But I can make it matter by writing something profound or learning a new song or technique on the guitar. Then the absence of something that I really didn't need in the first place is now filled with something else that I learned in the meantime. After all we shouldn't really worry about what we don't have. You will worry for the rest of your life because it is impossible to have everything. Instead we should try to focus on and be thankful for the things that we do have. And in the 12 + hours that I've been awake today without the TV, I have written an article for this blog that will hopefully allow me to share some of my insight with the world. You can't change the world. That's ridiculous. But you can change yourself and the entire world changes around you. Try it sometime.

Now that this article is done. I have to go try and find something to fill my time. I wonder what's on TV?

 - Pookon -

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com