Pickle the Day: April 13 - A Stone's Throw Away

I'm supposed to exercise more. Everyone is. Ask just about anyone around you if they get enough exercise and I'm sure they would admit that they don't. With the exceptions, I think our society (and country) is headed in that direction. While that isn't what I'm trying to get into here (and I don't want to be preachy or tell you how to live your life) I had to mention it because it ties into today's pickle. I'm trying to be more active and take 10,000 steps per day and be actively moving for at least an hour per day. While this sounds pretty easy, it's a lot more difficult for me because of my desk job and sedentary lifestyle. That's why I glad that my new phone (Samsung Note 4) comes quipped with this S Health app. It keeps track of my steps per day and also of how active I am (complete with notifications for when I'm not being active). So what does this have to do with today's pickle? Glad you asked.

I don't eat a lunch at work. While I realize that's not the healthiest thing, I'm just not hungry. I don't think that I should eat when I'm not hungry. So I decided to do something productive with 30 minutes of each workday Mon-Fri. I've been doing this for the last 6 months every day that it isn't raining like a banshee or cold as balls. It's getting increasingly easier to spend a half hour outside as it gets closer to Summer, so I've been really looking forward to this time out from work. Since I only have a half hour to work with, I don't venture too far from the office. I started walking around the perimeter of the "campus" but that soon got old. Then I started walking around the neighborhood. I'm still exploring where I can go over this limited time, but on April 13 I found something I never new existed. Here was this pond (probably man made) just a stone's throw away from where I toil away on a computer all day. I wandered around a bit before I found this spot, so I only had a few minutes to sit on the hill under the tree and look out at the pond and take this picture. But those few minutes were all that I needed to understand that this moment was unlike any in my recent life. This moment calmed me down and centered me. All other moments were complete chaos. So I guess I have a new spot. And it's just a stone's throw away from where I spend a good chunk of my time Monday through Friday.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

It's in My Head - #7: Did You Ever See that Scene in Scanners?

To be quite honest with you, neither had I until not too long ago. I knew about it from Wayne's World, but I had never seen Scanners. I got the reference, but I wanted to see what it was all about. So I went to this beautiful thing called the Internet and I found the clip on YouTube. You can check it out below but I would exercise caution if I were you. It's pretty brutal (but actually pretty tame compared to the violence we see in movies and TV these days. I still don't understand why people are so obsessed with and OK with extreme violence and gore. But that's another thought for another day). Today this was in my head because it felt like my head was going to explode. I try not to take things too seriously and get all stressed out, but today I couldn't help it. 

Normally I like to leave my work at work. I do not want to think about that place after I've left there. But today it's kind of still in my head. And today what was inside my head made it feel like it was going to explode. We are short staffed at work and also hella busy. I was getting so frustrated at one point that my head started hurting from thinking too much. I had to lean back for second in my chair and just do nothing for a minute. And that's when I started laughing. Cuz right after the pain stopped, I said out loud to myself, did you ever see that scene in scanners when the dude's head blew up? And then I imagined my head exploding (insert explosion noises). The rest of the day was fine after that.

That's about it man. I was thinking too much to notice what was going on in my head and then my head exploded and there was nothing going on in my head. But then I got home and this was in my head. I watch too many movies...

Warning: this scene is definitely messed up. Don't watch it unless you have problems...

There's always something going on in my head, even after it has exploded. I can't stop it man. It's just a part of my life I guess. As long as my head only explodes inside my head instead of exploding for real. We can't have that. I's only October 7th. I have too many more of these to do and I kind of need my head to do it with. It's part of the title. This series of posts wouldn't work if they would be called, "It Would Have Been in My Head, But My Head Exploded and It's Actually Residing in Some Airspace Where My Head Used to Be." That's not as catchy and succinct. So I'm not going to let my head explode so that I can keep the things in my head... in my head. How about you? Is your head still in tact? It didn't explode, did it? If your head is not exploded, I must ask - what's in your head?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

https://twitter.com/pookondotcom

https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

The Write Month: June 26 - We Fear Change

Hey Scott - I'd like to talk to you about making some changes. Change? We fear change. And then I proceed to squash the very idea of changing my life. I've been reminded lately that what I'm currently doing is not working out for me. I don't want to get into a lot of specifics here but there are two parts of my life that need some serious change. Well, three really. The first one is my job. I'm not going to bore you with the details because I'd probably just bore myself to sleep like I do at work. My job is about as unexciting as it gets which causes me to goof off more than I should and inject my day with an insane amount of randomness. This does not lead to a fulfilling 9 to 5. I enjoy the people that I work with and I really think that my company is one of the better ones to work for. Everything about it is great except for my actual task during those work hours. But I have been gifted a great opportunity thanks to some restructuring in our department that is allowing me to explore some other options. The first stage of that just began yesterday so I don't really have anything to report on that front. But let's just say that I'm exploring some options. I don't know where I will go from here but at least I recognized that there is a problem and that I need to fix it. I don't expect to be one of those people who love their job because I don't like to work. I'm an eternal slacker. I like to coast through life. I usually do the bare minimum. But this has caused a lot of emptiness in my life at least for the 40 hours a week between 9 and 5 where I can't just do whatever I want. More on this later because I just don't where I am going with this right now. But the ball is rolling my friends. I could very well be running from it holding a whip and a golden idol. 

Next we have my life. I was hanging out with some old friends last night. While we were catching up I was asked about my current relationship status, which is of course eternally single and alone. I was given a supportive lecture about everything that I already know - you have so many good qualities, you're a genuinely nice person who deserves happiness, why don't you take a chance because what do you have to lose, there's someone out there for everyone, try online dating, don't be so hard on yourself and the standard talk that anyone would give you when they are trying to offer some moral support. After all that she basically asked why I wasn't making any attempts. My response? Thousands of excuses, none of which that are valid. I fear change. I spend an awful amount of time alone. It's almost to the point that I don't know any better. I'm set in my ways. I'm used to my lifestyle. I don't know how to be flexible anymore. I don't know how to put myself out there. To be vulnerable with myself as a person and not just myself with my words. I hide behind my online persona. I don't go out and meet new people. I don't accept change. I have to figure out a way to do this because my life outside of work is also not very fulfilling (with a few exceptions). 

I need to change my image. Both the one that I see in the mirror and the one that I see in my head. There was a time when I ate better, went to the gym and cut back on behaviors that made me unhealthy (excessive consumption of alcohol, lack of sleep, poor mental health and many other things). I don't know exactly when I stopped caring about changing my image. But I kind of know why. I don't really see the point of it. I'm struggling with finding a purpose in life and a reason to keep on living. If I can't get a handle on that then there is no reason to sweat the little things. I'm having a really hard time moving forward in my life and becoming a different person. I want to stay who I have always been. I want to live with no cares, no responsibilities. I want to be a kid. Be young and dumb. Be like I was in College. But I'm not. I'm a little older. I'm a little wiser. And I'm starting to grow hair in really weird places man. I feel like I'm turning into Sasquatch. But I'm not. I'm the same old Scott Reck that I used to be. But the World has changed around me. My family and friends have changed around me. I have not. I feel like I have been left behind, Kirk Cameron style. But they didn't leave me. I simply refused to follow them.

I don't know what to do anymore. Perhaps I need some help. I've tried to stay light and entertaining here on the blog during the Write Month. But sometimes life is real. There is nothing funny about it and there aren't any jokes. This is what happens at 2 in the morning after you witnessed what true happiness can be like then return to your life of solitude. Oh yeah, and the booze probably had something to do with it too. There's a reason that they call it liquid courage or truth serum. It tends to bring out the worst in me. But sometimes the worst can be my best. You're the best around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down. You're the best around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down!! I'll keep telling myself that. Maybe I can change my job. Maybe I can change my relationship status. Maybe I can change my image. Maybe I can learn to stop fearing change and embrace it. I need change. I have a dollar. Can anyone help a brother out?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom

The Write Month: June 7 - A F****** Parking Spot

There are plenty of things to get upset about in this world - the government, racism, marriage inequality for gay couples, war and violence and the general decay of civilization as we know it. But a f****** parking spot is not one of them. I'm doing this one on speech to text (which censors me) because I'm probably going to rant and swear like a f****** sailor because this is something that really pisses me off. Why do sailors swear so much anyway? Is because they're at sea for so long and don't get any action? Or maybe it's because they're sea sick all the time. I know when I'm sick I don't give a f*** about anything and I just lose my god d*** mind.  But that is not the point right now. One thing that is really f****** drives me bat**** crazy is when someone parks in my parking spot at work. We don't have designated parking spots and it's not like my f****** name is on the ground. I've been parking in the same stupid parking spot for like the last 2 years so I think that gives me the right to park there everyday. I've staked my claim on that mother f*****. Its like Finders Keepers losers weepers b****. I'm like this s*** it's mine.

Lately some god d*** a****** m*********** parks in my god d*** spot and I get here in the morning and I just lose it, just f****** swear like does a god d*** pissed off teenager who just learned all the curse words and says them just because. Son of a b**** ! S*** ! Get your paws off me you d*** dirty ape! You maniacs! D*** you! God d*** you all to hell! If we let this sort of nonsense happen then we let the terrorists win. Well f*** that. I'm more like hey terrorists! Terrorize this. I'll be damned if I'm going to live in a world where terrorists win. And that's the reason I get so upset about my parking spot. To most people its a place to put their car but to me its a reminder that I have to do my part to stave off the end of the world as we know it. I'm doing it for freedom. I'm doing it for the red white and f****** blue. I'm doing it for America. F*** yeah. And any of you little a******* out there who think this s*** is f****** funny parking in my god d*** parking spot I will drop a bomb on you. I will murder you. I will end your life if you think that parking in my spot is a f****** hilarious joke.

There's a lot of s*** in this world that I don't take seriously. I live by one pretty simple model - don't take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive. But this is one thing that I probably will never ease up on. I don't know why I have such a problem with this. Its ridiculous. I should be spending my energy on other things in my life that I do have control over. Like working out so I can drop a couple hundred pounds and look like a normal person. Or figuring out a way to trick somebody into marrying me. Or Having some babies so my mom can ease off my back for not giving her any grandchildren. Or actually advancing in the workplace so that I can lead to more successful life. Or fixing the broken relationships I have with my friends and family. Or getting my mind right so I can get my grind right if you know what I mean. But instead of doing any of that I'm b******* about a f****** parking spot. I must be out of my god d*** mind.

But I got my parking spot today so I don't know why I'm so angry. I'm like Hulk angry. ICEMAN SMASH!! I really have a lot of problems to deal with but instead I just swallow them like sadness. Along with a 1.75 of rum. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. It's a great big beautiful tomorrow! I just hope that I'm not so upset about something so trivial and that I don't swear so god d*** much. Jesus would not approve. I have to work on that getting into Heaven thing. Get in good with the Big Man. Maybe I'll give God my parking spot. That's a good start.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

Nice shirt, who shot the Couch?

On April 30, some dude in the lunch room was wearing the exact same shirt as me (pictured). What made it worse was that both of us were wearing khakis and brown shoes. I felt like I was in the movie Twins, cause he was a middle aged, handsome looking African-American guy. I am all of the garbage that's left over. Needless to say, I had to get out of there before people started calling us Twins. It was definitely the first time in life that I felt like I was Danny DeVito. It was rough because I was really hung over at the time, and I was just in there to get some coffee. When I saw the other guy wearing my shirt, I had to get out of there because it was like looking in a fun house mirror. My warped mind couldn't handle it at the time, because it was still recovering from the night before. If that situation is anything like doing mind altering drugs, then count me out. That shit is too crazy and too messed up to do by choice and on a recreational basis.

Again, on June 2, I was wearing this shirt again and I walked through the hallway, and I thought that my shadow was behind me, but no! I was wrong, it was my twin once again wearing this same shirt, khakis, and brown shoes. Ahhhh! It's like a nightmare gone from bad to worse. Then these middle aged ladies had to point it out, giggle, say "oh, how cute", and then say "you guys could be twins!" Thanks ladies, I really needed something that was completely obvious to me pointed out. I also needed to be pointed at and ridiculed, because it wasn't bad enough when people did it to me in high school. And speaking of high school, now I understand how teenage girls feel like when some other girl is wearing the same dress at the Prom. It really is that embarrassing. And to think, all these years I thought that they were just overreacting. In fact, I used to yell at them to stop whining because they were giving me a headache. It was all fun and games until I found out that it wasn't a headache and that it was actually a tumor. What a day it has been. But then again, it's just another day at the office...

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email : pookondotcom@gmail.com

Who are these people?

I work in a call center for the vacations department of a major airline company (name withheld due to the content of this article). If you were to book a trip on our website, have a problem, call customer service, you will talk to me. If you are a moron, please do not call that number. Also - if you are a dumbass, have an IQ level of a monkey, or spew out garbage every time your mouth is open, don't call that number. I am done talking to you, and I have all of your addresses on file. Look in the mail, soon you will be receiving your "I'm with stupid t-shirt" with an arrow pointing straight up to your face. For crying out loud, why do you call me? What a bunch of losers!!! If you are cheap and cannot afford to go to Las Vegas, DON'T GO TO LAS VEGAS. If you can't afford to travel, you can't afford to gamble your money away. And please, don't yell swear words at your kids when you are talking on the phone to me. Not only should you not be shouting the F word at your kids, but in doing so, you are essentially shouting it at me too. It's annoying, and uncalled for. You might not be professional, but at least try to act like it while you are on the phone. I know I'm just another faceless keyboard jockey on the other end of the phone, but that doesn't mean that you can treat me like shit. In the words of Stephanie Tanner - how rude.

And please stop calling me M'am. I am not a lady. I am a guy, a man, a dude, a bro, or more professionally, a sir. Calling me M'am, honey or sweetheart does not make me feel like a man. It is degrading. There is nothing wrong with women. I love women. I love women a whole lot. I think they're great, I just don't like to be called something that I am not. Now sometimes I speak in a high voice when I get excited, but I am anything but excited when I answer the phone and have to do work. Granted, there are some burly manly women (Berta from 2 1/2 Men comes to mind) that might speak in a lower voice, but I have never met one that is named Scott. Some of the older lady travel agents sometimes call me dear or honey, and I don't take offense to that because their terms of endearments are from generations past. Older people just don't understand that it's not ok to call a young man in his late 20's honey or dear, so I just let it slide. Besides, you can't get mad at old people. It's not their fault that they are senile. Just go ahead and try and yell at Blanche, Dorothy, Rose or Sophia - you know, the Golden Girls! I'm sure that that old dame Sophia will sock you in the mouth if you try to sassy talk her. I dare you. Now don't get me wrong, I love that show, and I love those broads, but that would be an episode that I'd love to see! Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. They won't go dyin' on you, they'd whoop your ass!

Finally, these people who call are complete morons! I understand that you call customer service or a help desk if you don't know something, but these people are clueless. They are absolutely hopeless, and I sure hope that they don't breed because their spawn would dumb down the world, much like the vastly underrated Mike Judge comedy Idiocracy. These people calling me surely must love those electrolytes. People call here asking about a product that we don't offer, and they confuse us with someone else. WE ARE (Company A), NOT (Company B) DUMBASS!! What the hell is wrong with these people? If they were to simply use the limited brain power that they have to actually think for a second, they would answer their questions themselves and not have to bother me!! But the more that I about, if people knew the answers and didn't have to call me, then I would be out of a job and I wouldn't have anything to bitch about. So it looks like either way it happens, I'm screwed so I better just deal with it or go out and get a new job. This sucks.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

1988 called, it wants its program back

The reasoning of my rant is this: I want to bitch and moan about my program that I use on a daily basis at work and the limitations that it offers. Basically, it is two colored (white on blue background) just like a computer that we had when I lived on 56th street when I was 8 years old. That computer had two colors - black screen with green writing. The graphics were extremely basic, but it was good enough for playing Tank Wars and Oregon Trail. That was 1988, this is 2008. You'd think that it 20 years they could have developed a program that isn't monochromatic. The functionality is limited, and the text is very retro, but not in a cool retro kind of way. It times out all of the time, and it doesn't offer pictures or Internet links. If it was the 20th Century, then this program would be King of the World.

The trouble is that it is not the 20th Century, and the World has been forever changed since Al Gore invented the Internet. The program we switched into last week is....gasp!....Internet based! Who would've thought that we could use the Internet to our advantage? Certainly not our company! There are tons of things that our company does that keeps us firmly rooted in the old days, but I can't be terribly specific due to the fact that I need to continue to pick up a pay check every two weeks so that I can stay connected to my precious Internet. I'm trying to be a little bit discreet, because I've heard stories of people getting in trouble with the law and their jobs for because of stuff posted on Facebook. I've got this blog link on Facebook, as well as on my website. I've seen the numbers, and I know that no one comes here to read this shit, but that doesn't mean that someday (like if I suddenly get famous) that someone will come on here and see this and I get in trouble. That is why discretion is key to my rants.

Beating around the bush, dancing around the issues, and putting a spin on things to ensure a good public image have never been my strong point, which (aside from the fact that I need to be inebriated to write a witty and insightful article) was the reason that I gave up on Journalism. In Journalism, it is important to always need to come off as a professional and have an unbiased opinion. I am almost the complete opposite of professional and unbiased. I'm sick and tired of pretending that technology hasn't advanced, and staying rooted in 1988 when I'm at work. The second I leave, I'm on my cellphone talking to someone across the country, accessing WiFi Internet on my iPod so I can tell them what the weather is like were they live. It's obvious that 1988 has come and gone, and as soon as people at my company realize that, I guess it won't give me anything to bitch about, which is always a good thing.

But then again, if it weren't for bitching, then I guess I wouldn't have anything to say on here. My Mom always told me that if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. I believe that living life by that statement would regulate to me talking 3 times a year - 4 tops. I love to complain, but I have yet to know if you care or not. If you want to bitch at me, then certainly feel free to do so in the comment section. If anything, you'll give me some fuel for my fire so that I retort with a blog post bitching about you. Cause that's all we really want anyway - to complete the circle of life. The Lion King ain't got shit on me.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/