25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Centerfield

If you don't love Carlos Gomez, then shame on you. Well actually probably shame on God or the mystery of the human body because you were born without a heart. What's not to love? The only knock on him used to be that he didn't hit for average, batting in the .230-.240 range. But now that he has put up two almost mirror seasons (compare 2013 to 2014) an made back to back All-Star teams, there's really nothing you can hate about him. you may have a few minor gripes with his seemingly reckless abandon on the base paths which leads to him getting thrown out at 3rd when he could have easily scored from 2nd on a single. Or you may not like the way he swings so hard that he loses his helmet and looks like the Tasmanian Devil. Some people might have an issue with his "showboating" while hitting homeruns, flipping the bat or staring at it for a moment. You might not like him because he gets into fights because he doesn't know when to back down in the moment. You might have a problem with him being aggressive. You might say that he goes balls to the walls (literally) in the outfield which has caused him to have injuries (like when he broke his collarbone or injured his shoulder while crashing into the wall). But I promise you that those are all minor gripes. Because anyone who has watched Gomez play since he came to Milwaukee in 2006 can tell you that if you don't allow him to do those things, you don't let him be Carlos Gomez. And trust me, you want him to be Carlos Gomez.

Ever since Ron Roenicke took the handcuffs off him, he has evolved into one of the best outfielders, if not one of the best players in all of baeball. There aren't too many people are going to bat .285, hit 25 homeruns, 85 RBIs, steal 40 bases and play gold glove calibur defense. He's amazing in every aspect of the game. On top of that, he's a joy to follow on social media (even when he tweets in Spanish, I still smile even though I have no idea what he's talking about). I neve see him without a smile on his face and he's been great to the fans at every event and interaction that I've been witness to. Basically he's someone that you want on your team. I just hope that he doesn't play himself off of this team. If he puts up another year like he did in 2013 and 2014, he's going to skyrocket in price. Right now he won't be a free agent until the 2017 season and he makes a very team friendly $8 million per year. 

With his talent and numbers that he's putting up, he could easily make $18 - $22 million in today's baseball economy. This is way more than the small market Brewers could afford especially because they are paying Ryan Braun the same amount of money. This team couldn't afford 2 superstars, so one of them would have to go. If I had my pick, I would take Gomez over Braun, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. But this is a recap of his 2014 season, not a look ahead to his future. He still has 2 more years under contract, so we'll worry about that when it gets to that point. But it is going to happen. He will someday play for another team, although I wish he would spend the rest of his career with the Milwaukee Brewers.

I wish I could spend the rest of my life playing with Sage. And by playing with her, obviously I mean running my hands up and down her naked body and caressing every inch of her stunning figure. If she wants to play other things, I'm game as well. We can play hide and go seek, we could play Hungry Hungry Hippos, we could play go fish, but of course I'd rather play Naked Twister (right hand left breast! Left hand my cock!) or any one of those role playing games (if you know what I mean). You know it really doesn't matter. We don't even have to play anything. All I want is just to be in her presence even if she doesn't acknowledge me or look in my general direction. But if I had it my way, we would play house. I'd be the husband and she'd play my wife. 

I would come home from a long day at the office and she'd be waiting for me with some macaroni and cheese, toasted white bread and not wearing a shirt. And I'd eat my macaroni and toasted white bread and she'd just sit there all topless and tell me about what she did while I was away. And she'd go on and on about how much she missed me and how she can't wait for me to finish my macaroni so that we can go snuggle on the couch and watch Full House. And of course she'd still be topless all the time so that when she gets cold, I could pull her close to me and let our bodies warm each other up. And then she'd ask me if I wanted to make love to her or if I wanted nachos. And then she would giggle as I tried to choose between two of my favorite things. And then she'd give me a big hug and say to me Scotty, you don't have to choose. You can make love to me while eating nachos. And then I would look deep into her eyes and I 'd say Sage, I know it sounds a little silly, but I seriously am the luckiest man alive. You are perfect in every single way and I wouldn't ever do anything to you that you wouldn't want me to. I worship the ground you walk on and I can't imagine life without you. I would do anything for you, so if you want me to make love to you and eat these nachos at the same time, I will happily fulfill that and every one of your desires, no matter how weird they are. Man I play a messed up game of house...

Now that we're on the topic of playing, you should check out my 8th video. It covers Centerfield for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers (basically Carlos Gomez), recorded at Indian Creek Park in Fox Point, WI:

I was helping my Dad out with painting the basement at my Grandpa's house in Fox Point, so I decided to stop by the park that we used to walk to when we were kids. It had been a real long time since I have been here, but nothing has changed. Believe it or not, in this case it was a good thing. It really took me back to a time when my Grandma and Grandpa (and Timmy) were still alive and all we did was have fun without feeling any sadness. 

Carlos Gomez #27 - .264 AVG, 23 HRs, 72 RBIs, 35 stolen bases, another Gold Glove and truly deserving of the love from every man, woman, child and beast that just always wanted to go fast.

.284 batting AVG, 23 HRs, 73 RBIs, 34 stolen bases, no gold glove, another All-Star appearance and best friend to every man, woman, child and beast that is in need of a best friend.

I think Carlos Gomez and I could be best friends as long as he stays off my motherfucking Kool-Aid. Damn it Carlos! You already have a beautiful wife! Leave my Sage alone! But I love everything about him and I just have a feeling that we would laugh, have fun and just enjoy each other's company. Of course that's not our relationship at the moment. Right now he's playing baseball on the field and I'm watching him from the left field bleachers, from the club level or on TV. I'm still waiting for the beautiful moment in time when our paths cross and I look Gomez in the eyes and he looks right back into mine and he says to me, Iceman (or Hombre de Hielo cuz he's some kind of Spanish) - where have you been all my life? And I'll be like, Gomez don't be weird. I've been here the whole time. 

But now that you've finally noticed, we can be best friends forever. And since we're such best friends I know that you'll never try to steal my girl. And I know he won't mind that I get all intimate with Sage when he's in the room. He knows never too interrupt something as beautiful as true love and to never mess with a good thing. Of course I respect Gomez enough as a person and as a friend to not like, start fingering her front of him or anything. Come on, I got more class than that. I'll wait until he's left the room, or until he's sleeping. Bong... nooch. But all of this is just a make believe fantasy World in my head. In this World that I've drunkenly crafted, Carlos Gomez is my best friend and Sage is the woman by my side. I'm going to use every "blowing out the candles" birthday wish, every wish upon a star, every coin tossed in the wishing well and every time I get on my knees and pray to a higher power that this dream will someday come true. Because that's the World I want to live in. That my friends, would truly be living the dream. 

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Leftfield

Khris Davis was the Brewers primary left fielder in 2014 and he represented Sombrero Nation well despite not being a Mexican. But that's okay because I'm not a Mexican either. I'm simply a born again Mexican. I don't know if Khris Davis has taken the solemn oath to become a born again Mexican and wearer of the Sombrero. But I always knew that I was going to love the guy because he shares a name with my mother, although he spells his a little differently (adding an unnecessary H). I have already identified that they are in fact 2 different people despite having a lot of things in common. Maybe he added the H so that people could tell them apart. Christ, I don't fucking know. I just root for the guy. After so many years of Shadows being cast in left field, it was nice to have a guy to root for who didn't have any character issues. I don't claim to know the truth the whole truth or nothing but the truth. I can't handle the truth. and I don't know a goddamn thing, but I do know when there's a guy that we all got to get behind because he thrives on confidence and people being in his corner. So it's up to us to help Khris Davis be the player that he's supposed to be and a player that we all know that he can be. We've got to get all up in his head and help the guy out.

And then there's Sage. I've got to get all up in those guts to help that girl out. Even though she is always smiling, I know that's all for show. She's empty, almost like she's missing a piece. And I got just the piece to fill that hole. I would rock her World. But I really shouldn't talk that dirty about Fox Sports Wisconsin girl Sage. She's the Mother of my future children. She's a goddess. She is incredible in every single way. I've never met her, but I dream about her every night. Although I'd like to make like Mario and Luigi and lay some pipe in her basement (if you know what I mean), I promise to love and respect her and give her the life that she deserves. Every single time I see her, her smile is so bright and so radiant. It could wipe the depressing frown off of every single impoverished and starving man, woman and child in every third world country. Her voice is like that of an Angel it's not even fair how heavenly it is. Like when I hear it, I feel bad because it wasn't meant for me. It was only meant for Jesus's ears. But by some act of God I get to hear it. I don't take this privilege lightly. I respect this opportunity as much as I respect this amazing woman. Even if I want to stick it in every hole of her body. And I mean every hole. Even in her ear.

Wait... wasn't this supposed to be about Khris Davis? Christ how did I get sidetracked yet again? I guess that's just what I do. They were very opposing views on Khris Davis' 2014 season. There are a lot of people who criticized his plate discipline, lack of walks and his below average defense. But on the flip side there were people who praised his power numbers and his ability to hit in the klutch (and clutch is intentionally spelled with a K, just like Khris is spelled with a K). He seemed to come up big when the Brewers needed him, which is rare for a young player to do. And even though there was a lot of pressure put on him to basically be the next Ryan Braun, he didn't really crumble under the pressure. Was he the next Ryan Braun? Of course not. Braun is a once in a generation type of player. But I think he was good enough that you can legitimately say he should be playing in left field everyday and the Brewers did the right thing by moving Braun to right field. It may just be my personal opinion, but I don't think we saw the real Khris Davis in 2014. He's only going to get better.

Sometime in July before the trade deadline, the Brewers acquired Gerardo Parra from the Arizona Diamondbacks. He was the fourth outfielder but he ended up seeing a good amount of playing time filling in for Braun (who was facing injuries) and Khris Davis (who was struggling at the plate in the field). The fact that he is a switch hitter and plays Gold Glove defense helped to get his name written in the lineup seemingly every day. By the end of the year it was almost like he transitioned to the everyday starter. But let's face it and I mean this in no offense to Mr. Parra, but we are a worse team if he is starting every day. He's solid. Going to give you a decent average, little bit of pop in his bat and excellent defense. But he doesn't have the wild card factor. He isn't a game changer. Khris Davis has the ability to be the deciding factor in a win or a loss with one swing of the bat. Some people might talk about runs saved through defense as opposed to runs created by offense. I will take a bat over a glove any day of the week. Even though the defense has been, is and will always be a problem for this team, what sunk this ship last year was the lack of offense. So we need to make sure that offense is the main priority when choosing which player takes the field.

Check out my 7th video, which recaps Leftfield for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded on the bridge crossing Indian Creek in Fox Point, WI:

I was trying to make a connection between the video I filmed last March and the one that I filmed this March. I'm pretty sure that I failed. Or I succeeded. You know that the coin has two sides and the odds are 50/50 that it will end up on one of those sides. That is of course, unless it ends up not on a side but on the edge instead. Although that is highly unlikely, it still could happen and ruin my entire plan. Oh bother...

Khris Davis #18 - .265 batting AVG, 22 HRs, 65 RBIs, an above average defender in spite of the critics and the coolest guy in the World with my Mom's name.

.244 batting AVG, 22 HRs, 69 RBIs an average man with an average life. He works from 9 to 5, oh hell he pays the price. All he wants is to be left alone, in his average home. But why does he always feel like he's in the twilight zone?

  Logan Schafer #1 - .245 batting AVG, 6 HRs, 41 RBIs, 10 stolen bases and the best defender on the team not names Carlos Gomez. But he might change his name to Carlos Gomez so that people recognize him and give credit where it is due. This kid can play the shit out of the outfield.

.181 batting AVG, 0 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 stolen bases, 65 games played and basically a non factor in the 2014 season. It doesn't matter how good his glove is if his bat can't keep him on the field/on the major league team.

Gerardo Parra #28 - .268 batting AVG, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 46 games played and would have been a really good acquisition had they made the playoffs. Pitching and defense wins in October, but you can't win in October if you don't get there.

I would take Sage's field no matter what the conditions were. I wouldn't even think twice before playing ball when there is grass on that field. If there was a rain delay and there was a risk of an injury that would sideline me for the rest of the season, I would still go out and play on that field. Even if there wasn't a game that day I would still go out and practice on that field. I'd go out there and tag all the bases. I'd practice my base running drills going from first to third when the guy behind you in the lineup hit a single. I'd lay down a bunt and hustle my way to first base and leg out an infield single. And then when she wasn't looking, I'd steal second. If she really wasn't paying attention, I'd also steal third. I hope that I get so adept at stealing bases that I can pull off the mother of all conquests and swipe home. And good lord, if I ever hit an in the park homerun, I'd be the luckiest guy alive. But I'd settle with a casual trot around the bases as I watched the ball sail into the leftfield seats. I don't care how it happens, but I just want to touch home plate. In case you were wondering what was going on right now, you don't get it. But that's okay. All you need to know is that Khris Davis is going to be alright. And the other thing you need to know is that I'm never going to be alright unless I get Sage. In my bed, on the field and in my life.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Shortstop

Is there any player that had a worse year? I don't think I could name one. What Jean Segura had to deal with this year is unimaginable. I'm not going to sugarcoat it here - his son, who was only 9 months old, died in July. This was on top of what was already a tough season for him where he was trying to rebound from a poor 2nd half of 2013. At that point you just threw in the towel and chalked it up to a bad year. I don't really want to talk about it much (in respect to him and his family), but losing someone you love is incredibly tough. It's when thing when it's a parent or a sibling, but I have heard it's a whole different story when it is a child (and an infant child at that). It basically destroys you. You had your entire life planned with this child and planned that he would grow old and outlive you. You never expect (and never think) that a child will die before you. So I'll give anyone a pass if that happens. It doesn't matter if you are a baseball player, a teacher or a construction worker - that sadness is going to mess with your head and your heart, and it will affect your job. But a teacher or a construction worker isn't under the scrutiny and analysis that a Major League baseball player is. I understand that being a "celebrity" and a professional athlete puts in constantly in the public eye, but when real life matters come into play, it's best to just lay off the guy.

That having been said, I'm just going to state the obvious - he had a pretty mediocre year on the field. When you look at them, his stats really weren't that bad for a shortstop. That position isn't really known for being one that has a lot of power numbers or a high batting average. Shortstop is all about defense. While he did regress by the numbers, he still passed the eye test. His offensive numbers were nowhere near close to the ones that earned him a spot on the 2013 All-Star team, but I think that year was a fluke. Sorry pal, but Segura isn't an offensive shortstop. He isn't going to hit 15-20 HRs and drive in 60-70 RBIs. But if he gets on base (I would love it if Roenicke put him 2nd in the batting order) he could steal 40-50 bases per year and score 70-80 runs based on his speed alone. And if he's comfortable at the plate, he's not going to think about it. Why is that important? Because he doesn't need his offensive struggles carrying over to his defense. I feel like it did last year. He just never looked right at the plate or on the field. That will do it. Confidence is everything whether it is at baseball or with the ladies. I'm not confident in either, which leads to a lot of strikeouts.

Check out my 6th video, which covers Shortstop for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded in my living room in the middle of the night during a weekend bender:

I was pretty drunk when I recorded this video in my living room in the middle of the night during a weekend bender and I wasn't able to make any kind of sense. I got some stares from my cat as I was facing the wall and talking to my camera, but I get stares when I do anything, so I'm used to it. I have been trying to limit my alcohol intake (no drinking on the weekdays) so after a few whiskey whatevers, I was lost in the supermarket and I needed an adult. I had like 19 sombreros on my head and it was really hard to stand there and try and stay upright, because everything in my body and mind was telling me to topple over and call it a night right there on the floor. But I finished the movie. And then I passed out. Classic Iceman.

Jean Segura #9 - .286 batting AVG, 10 HRs, 38 RBIs, 40 stolen bases, and part of a solid "up the middle" combo along with Lucroy/Maldonado and Carlos Gomez. Just like he used to be a part of the "Jean Jean made a machine, Yo Yo made it go, Hart Hart blew a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart" combo.

.246 batting AVG, 5 HRs, 31 RBIs, 20 stolen bases, 146 games played and solid-ish defense (16 errors) but basically a lost year. If you are going to point the finger at somebody for the problems that happened in 2014, he probably deserves it. If you want to pull his finger, I hope he gets it and cranks out a loud and reverberating fart.

Jeff Bianchi #14 - .236 AVG, 3 HRs, 26 RBIs and still a valuable member of the team because he's the backup at all 4 Infield positions and emergency 5th Outfielder. A good Utility Infielder is a huge asset in the National League.

.171 batting AVG, 0 HRs, 6 RBIs, 29 games played, 70 at bats and basically a non-factor for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers. No offense, but fuck Jeff Bianchi.

Despite his struggles on and off the field, the Brewers still stuck with him at shortstop all seasons long, and he ended up playing in 146 (out of 162) games. Jeff Bianchi made a few appearances while Segura took some time off to be with his family, but for the most part it was the Segura show. I commend the Brewers for sticking with him through thick and thin. Until September when it all started falling apart, it was ok if he was having an off year. But when things started to go in the tank, it became apparent that the lack of offense from the shortstop position contributed to the collapse. His batting average in September was .319, but he only hit 1 homerun and drove in 3 RBIs. It was nice to see him finish strong average wise (because he's never going to be a power hitter and is capable of batting .270-.280) but it was too little too late.

Not to get ahead of myself, but if he is anything like his 2013 season, he's worth an extra 2-3 wins on his own. If Ryan Braun (which I will cover shortly) also rebounds, he's worth an extra 4-5 wins. Think about that for a second. The Brewers finished with an 82-80 record and missed the playoffs. If Segura and Braun played like they were capable of in 2014, they win an extra 5-7 games. That means they win 87-89 games and make the playoffs. That's such a huge difference! If they make the playoffs in 2014, September doesn't matter and the offeseason is completely different. And so is my attitude going into the 2015 season. That's how important Jean Segura is. That just goes to show you that something so little can end up being so big. It's the whole drop in a pond and the ripple effect. All it takes is for someone to make that drop in the pond. I'm hoping Segura can be that drop. 

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - 3rd Base

I bet Aramis Ramirez felt real old in 2014. I felt his pain. He turned 36 years old this week. I turned 33. Life was rough for me as I tried to pretend I was still young as I hung out with the kids trying to keep up. It didn't work. No matter how much my brain or my heart was in it, the body just couldn't keep up. I imagine that this is what Ramirez felt like. I don't mean to knock him in any way, because I'm sure the guy could kick my ass. He's in better shape than I could ever dream to be. It's just that playing professional sports (and 162 games in like 180 days) has to take a toll on the body. You don't recover as quick as you once did. You don't have that bounce back the next day. You don't wake up in the morning with that same old pep in your step. I get it. It happens. While this is no excuse, it probably contributed to his mediocre season. He would never admit it (because why would you?), but there comes a time when you just aren't what you used to be. At that point, you think about hanging it up and calling it a career. I did it with Beer Pong. Maybe it's time for Ramirez to do it with baseball.

He really didn't have that bad of a year when you consider it. But aside from the batting average, his numbers were below his career norms. His homerun totals have decreased considerably and his RBIs are not sufficient for someone batting in the cleanup spot. He's in a position (and he's getting paid) to drive in runs, so when he doesn't, you have to hold him accountable for that. He didn't get the job done. If you want to put his season on paper, in black and white, clear as crystal, he didn't steal fizzy lifting drinks. He didn't bump into the ceiling which now needs to be washed. He didn't break the rules. But he DID lose. And he will not have a good day Sir. He was a disappointment. Sorry that I have to label him as that, but I'm done playing nice. The 2014 season really rubbed me the wrong way and I need to take out my anger on someone. Players need to be held accountable and fingers need to be pointed. This one is pointed directly at you Aramis.

Never even mind the money. The money given to professional athletes these days is absurd. As far as the game goes, Ramirez made what a guy of his experience and career averages should make. So let's throw that out the window. The window. The 2nd story window. He's in a position that demands production both in the lineup (batting 4th) and on the field (3rd base). You are paying him for results. He didn't deliver those results. That is the bottom line pal. At that point it is what it is. I don't really have anything to say about his 2014 season, so let's just skip to the part that you all came here for - the ridiculous videos that I do. I don't know how or why it has come to this, but I'll gladly step out of the way and let this motherfucker ascend to the throne. What? He's better than me. Why fight it? You can either stand here and die by the sword or capitulate to the enemy, live out your life and fall in line behind him. I'd rather live in shame than to die with honor.

Check out my 5th video, which recaps 3rd Base for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded outside of my house on a Sunday morning. This was during a real bender of a weekend, so I had no idea what was going on at the time. I tried watching it just now, and I still don't have any idea what is going on. Classic.

My house is the home of the Iceman (at least for the time being). This is where I spend the majority of my time and it is also my fortress of solitude (and of no ladies). This is hardly a facility that houses major league talent, but I'm afraid this is all that a man of my statue and build can muster up on short notice. That's just the way life is pal. I'm dealing with it. I don't know why you are having such a hard time with it.

Aramis Ramirez #16 - .292 batting AVG, .365 OBP, 24 HRs, 97 RBIs and a chance to prove that he's only as old as he feels. And I know he's married and has kids, so he won't be feeling up any young hot totties. So Rami - how about throwing some of them my way? Spread the wealth pal.

.285 batting AVG, .330 OBP, 15 HR, 66 RBIs, 133 games plated and another year lost to injury. He ended his 3 year deal with the Brewers on a real down note. He wasn't the sole reason why the Brewers didn't make the playoffs, but his lack of offense in September was as bad as my lack of sexual interaction with the ladies.

I hate writing negative things. I don't want to sit here and tell you something that you already know and rehash some bad times/memories. I want to go out on a good note and finish this up with a hug or a pat on the back that will let you know that everything is going to be OK. But I can't do that. I won't sit here and lie to you. And you know what? There is NO Easter Bunny! Over there, that's just a guy in a suit! And a schooner IS a sailboat, stupid head. And Aramis Ramirez was a shell of his former self in 2014. You can blame his age, the injuries or you can blame Canada. You can even blame it on the rain. 'Cause the rain don't mind. And the rain don't care. You got to blame it on something. Blame it on the rain that was falling, falling. Blame it on the stars that shine at night. But whatever you do don't put the blame on you. Blame it on the rain yeah, yeah.

Did you hear that Ramirez? According to Milli Vanilli, you don't have to stand in the mirror in the morning and place the blame on yourself for what happened in the 2014 season. You can blame in on the rain. It wasn't your fault that the offense crumbled in September that led to your team missing the playoffs. So what if you hit .217 with 1 HR and 5 RBIs in September. This is a team game, right? You can't possibly blame just one guy for the team's faults. The Jackson 5 puts the blame on the boogie. Would you do that as well? Good luck with that one pal. Not many can reach the level of success and notoriety that they did. I doubt that you would be able to follow in their footsteps. But if you do, please let me know when it happens, because I would love to ride your coattails forever and ever so that I don't have to do shit for the rest of my life.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - 2nd Base

If I was to form my own gang of Little Rascals, I would most certainly include guys like Rickie and Scooter in my gang. By name alone they just sound like they would fit in with Alfalfa, Spanky and Buckwheat. We could tell ghost stories in my "No Girls Allowed" clubhouse and eat so much junk food that we would all go home with tummy aches. This is my perfect world scenario. Too bad for all those involved, we don't live in a perfect world. In the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers World there was a transition at 2nd base from the past (Rickie Weeks, drafted in 2003 and was the primary 2nd baseman from 2005 - 2013) to the future (Scooter Gennett, drafted in 2009 and made quite an impression in 2013 and 2014 and is poised to take over full time in 2015). This transition happened right in front of our eyes, and while everyone was jumping for joy, I hung my head in sadness. Look, I have nothing against Scooter Gennett; I think he's going to be a fine 2nd baseman for the next 5 or so years. But I don't love him like I loved Rickie. The first jersey that I bout since I started being a hardcore fan (late 90's) was a #23 batting practice Weeks. I've worn it out and the colors are fading, but it still represents a time when I loved the players more than I loved the team. Times have changed and players do come and go, but my favorite 2 Brewers players of all time will not. You're still my boy Rickie and Bill Hall still wins games.

There was nothing I would change about 2nd base for the 2014 Brewers. This was one of 3-4 positions that I wouldn't blame for what happened last year. This platoon worked out incredibly well as Scooter started primarily against righties (his career splits against lefties is pretty terrible, but to be fair he hasn't gotten a whole lot of opportunities) and Weeks suited up against lefties. Scooter's numbers were pretty damn good, but he's going to need to drive in around 70 runs per year if he wants to be the every day starter. Weeks had a resurgence both in his batting average and in his ability to stay healthy. The made for a great 1-2 punch. Kind of like fruit and tropical. I'm good with a glass of either in my left or right hand. At the end of the day with either one of them, I will go home with my thirst quenched.

There's a lot of hate for Rickie Weeks and so much of it is unwarranted. Did he ever live up to being a 2nd overall draft pick? Probably not. Did he make too much money for the amount of games that he was able to play and the numbers that he put up? Probably. Was he a good clubhouse player who led by example? From what I know, yes. Did he work hard and try to be the best he could every day? Absolutely. Was he sexier without his shirt on? Definitely. Wait... what? No! I meant no! Look, I love me some Rickie Weeks but I am all about the ladies. I fooled myself with that one. Damn it. I always get the gay questions wrong. Maybe it's time to change teams...

Baseball is a game of change, especially for small market teams. They have to draft and develop because they can't be major players in the free agent market. So if a player comes along that can do the same thing as the guy who is making 5x to 10x more money than they are, then it may be time to let the higher priced guy go. That's how it was with Rickie this year. I don't think there were any hard feelings from the front office. I think they all loved Rickie too. But the reality of it was that Scooter was the future 2nd baseman and that there was no longer a place on this team for Weeks. We saw this in 2014 as he started to take a "Captain-May-I" giant step backwards to make way for the future. It happens and even though I'm not quite over it, I have no choice but to accept it. That's the way the game is played. It makes it so much easier once you stop trying to figure it out. Just let go and stop trying to figure it out. Just go with the flow man. Everything will be ok.

Check out my 4th video, which recaps 2nd Base for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded in my bathtub on a Sunday morning. Don't worry pal - I'm wearing a swim suit. There's no need to make this any weirder than it already is:

It's pretty evident that I have problems. Just look at me. I'm a mess. Hanging out in my bathtub, drinking a beer and filming the whole thing. But I don't do this for my own personal gain. Oh no no my friends - I do this for you. So enjoy this bountiful harvest that I have provided for you. There's plenty to go around and there's always more where this came from. And I just made it really really weird. Moving on...

Scooter Gennett #2 - .286 batting AVG, .326 OBP, 8 HRs, 38 RBIs, the "unofficial" every day 2nd Baseman and someone that Scooters like me and that orange bastard on the Muppets can look up to and someday band together to form a League of Scooters.

.289 batting avg, .320 OBP, 9 HRs, 54 RBIs, 110 starts the "official" every day 2nd Baseman but NOT a member of the League of Scooters. He declined our invitation. Thanks a million Ryan. We could have had something magical.

Rickie Weeks #23 - .261 batting AVG, .320 OBP, 7 HRs, 29 RBIs, a positive member of the team who will be a team player, act like a veteran and will end his career with the Brewers on a down note, a tragic story of what could have been if an athlete lived up to his potential. But nevertheless, Rickie will always be my boy. What kind of man would I be if I left his side in his greatest moment of need?

.274 batting avg, .357 OBP, 8 HRs, 29 RBIs, 49 starts and sailed off into free agency with a slow and uneventful exit. Kind of like some old bastard who dies quietly in their sleep as opposed to a young man who bravely faced, but ultimately succumbed to his terminal cancer. And me, as his domestic partner, was not even allowed in the hospital room to be with him because of the god damn inequalities that fail to recognize our union.

I didn't want it to end like this. Even though Weeks had some pretty respectable stats to close out his time in a Brewers uniform, I feel like he didn't get to go out on his terms. But he didn't call out the team in the media. He didn't take to social media to complain about playing time. He didn't become a distraction or add to the problem. He took it like a pro and I respect him for that. It was the best way to handle a bad situation. We got to see what a full year of Scooter looks like and I do have to say that I was pleased with the results. He doesn't have the home run power that Rickie has, but it looks like he's going to be solid. That's all you really need from 2nd base when the rest of the positions are above average on offense (which is debatable). I just need a guy who can play every day and not screw up. Scooter seems to be that guy. Time will tell on this one, but the Brewers seem to be moving from the Weeks era to the Scooter era.

I know that it doesn't seem like it, but this was a hard article to write. I had to put personal feelings aside and be realistic. If I were running the Brewers, I would have done the exact same thing. It makes perfect sense if you're thinking with everything other than your heart. When it comes to the business of the game, you have to leave your heart out of it. That's one of the hardest things to do as a sports fan. I get way too emotionally invested in the team and these players that I left them affect me in ways that should never be allowed. But that's why I am a fan. I ride the highs and the lows and I let this game affect me. Every now and then it helps to take a step back and remind myself to look at things with my brain and not with my heart. My brain tells me that Scooter is better than Rickie. But my heart doesn't agree. And that is why it hurts so much. And it will continue to hurt for a long time. That is what I have to deal with for being a fan of Rickie Weeks and the Milwaukee Brewers.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - 1st Base

What do you do when something is broken? You fix it of course. That's obvious as shit. So how come the Brewers don't fix 1st base? As soon as they selected Prince Fielder in the first round of the 2002 draft they had to know they weren't going to keep him around forever. He progressed quickly through the minors and made his Major League debut in 2005 and was the every day (and I mean every day - this guy didn't take a day off. NEVER! Not even if there was a fire) first baseman from 2006-2011. They should have drafted his successor and groomed him to take over when Prince left for the money. Well you all know what happened in the last 3 seasons so I'm not going to repeat it. Because it isn't pretty. Hunter Morris was a bust and every non-first baseman that they chose to play the position failed miserably. So for 2014 they signed two veteran players who actually knew how to play the position. They were missing that and veteran leadership in 2013 and that resulted in a lost season. We all know how the 2014 season ended and that offense was to blame for that. And like it or not, the finger points in the direction of 1st base. Every other position performed (with some exceptions) but that is supposed to be a position of production. And 1st base didn't produce.

You can't fault Doug Melvin here. Hunter Morris was the Southern League MVP in 2012 while playing for the Huntsville Stars. He was supposed to be the answer and all the Brewers had to do is keep the base warm until Morris ascended to the throne. Well that never happened, so Melvin did the best he could Lyle Overbay was a fan favorite at Miller Park in 2004 and 2005, so bringing him back as a veteran presence and the left side of a platoon made perfect sense. The "Oooooooooooo!!!!" chants did return to Miller Park and it would have been a good move if they got a better player to form the right side of that platoon. Mark Reynolds came exactly as advertised - he hit homeruns but couldn't bat his weight and he struck out more than me at the bar on a Saturday night. If you like that sort of thing then you have more problems than the only psychiatrist in Punxsutawney can deal with (although he does have an alcoholic now). 

I want guys who can get on base AND drive in runs. That's a recipe for success. Solo homeruns just don't cut it for me. Sure Reynolds did have 21 homeruns, but he only had 54 RBIs (meaning that 21 of those were himself). While the blame is certainly on his teammates for not getting on base in front of him, I think we can also blame him for not getting the job done when guys were on base when he was at the plate. Overbay was the best pinch hitter on the team and he showed some real discipline at the plate (his .328 OBP doesn't jump out at you, but it's nearly 100 points higher than his batting avg of .233). He seemed to come up big in the situations that mattered, which is what you want from a part time player. I have no problem with anything that he did. My problem is Reynolds. It's not that he failed because he was what he thought he would be. But that's the problem. We shouldn't even be signing guys like that. It's a waste of time and the results aren't good enough to justify having him on your team.

I don't need to go into any more detail about these asshats. If you watched any Brewers games this year then you know that Overbay and Reynolds were better than whatever nonsense we have thrown at first base over the past 3 years. But crap is a nicer way of saying shit. It doesn't matter what word you choose - it's the same thing in the end. They weren't special. They just were. And that's the problem. We needed something special to make the playoffs and instead we won 82 games and sat at home during October. That's the reality of it. I haven't even touched on their defensive skills because they were above average. It's nothing to shout from the balcony because they got the job done. Reynolds was adequate filling in at 3rd when Ramirez was injured and also did a nice job at 1st. Overbay was hindered by his age and didn't have the range of his youth, but he still made plays. They were decent 1st basemen. But decent doesn't make you a great team. Average doesn't make you special. I'm not saying that these two players cost the Brewers success in 2014, but they certainly were a factor.

Check out my 3rd video, which recaps 1st Base for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded in my car on Friday January 16th on the way to work:

What I didn't realize at the time is that the audio somehow got all mucked up during recording. When I looked at this video the next day, I realized that many parts of it were inaudible, so I could either record a new video or dub over new audio. Since I didn't know exactly what I said, I thought it would be funnier to record new audio because it wouldn't sync up with my lips and it would be like when they dub English over Chinese in martial arts movies. While it's not quite that funny in my video, it was more fun to me than recording a new video.

Lyle Overbay #24 - .242 batting avg, 9 HRs, 38 RBIs, 20 doubles, a great veteran presence in the clubhouse, stellar defense at 1st base and sure to elicit a lot of "Ooooo" faces from every man and woman at Miller Park this season.

.233 batting avg, 4 HRs, 35 RBIs, 14 doubles, 64 starts at 1st, the best pinch hitter since Lenny Harris and still able to get those "Oooooo" faces going despite his age.

Mark Reynolds #7 - .221 batting avg, 21 HRs, 54 RBIs, 145 strikeouts, able to decently play 1st and 3rd base and be the first baseball player to strikeout 9 times in a regulation game (9 innings). 

.196 batting avg (a career low), 22 HRs, 45 RBI, 122 strikeouts, 72 starts at 1st, 29 starts at 3rd and has more strikeouts than a mentally challenged blind kid.

You'll notice that I made very little mention of Jonathon Lucroy in this article. He only played 19 games at 1st (16 starts), so he wasn't much of a factor over there. You have to think that number is going to increase in the future, so he might be a bigger part of the talk at this position if I ever choose to do these articles again. But this is focusing on the past and the past sucked balls. But it happens. I'm done talking about this because I've already wasted too much of my life on the 2014 season.

1st base didn't break the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers but it was one of the cracks that lead to the whole damn thing breaking apart. You can still stay intact with one crack. Sure it looks ghetto as fuck if you don't get that shit fixed, but you can still operate with no setbacks. If you have 3-4 cracks then it isn't stable anymore and it becomes a very fragile piece. That's what happened. It was in danger all season and in September it broke. At the worst possible time too. But do things ever break at the right time? Hell no. There's no such thing as the right time when it comes to breaking things. Except when you're mad. When your're mad it feels great to break things.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Catcher

If Jonathon Lucroy isn't your favorite player on the Milwaukee Brewers, you seriously need to reevaluate what you are doing wrong with your life. Because I promise you that this isn't the only mistake that you are making. If you tell me that Carlos Gomez is your favorite player, I'm willing to give you a pass. I love Gomez so much that I would probably let him marry me (seeing that Rickie Weeks is now off the market). But isn't Gomez married? I know that he has a girl and some kids, but I don't have the heart to look it up if he is legally taken. But why am I talking about him here? He'll get his in due time when I recap his 2014 season. I can't be another one of those assholes who doesn't give proper credit to Jonathon Lucroy after he put up one of the better seasons I've seen in a long time. Sure, some of the numbers may not be all that flashy, but it's what can't be measured in numbers is where he really shines.

There are statistics for everything and I could bore with by rattling them off (but I'm not going to. You're welcome). They even have many defensive stats that help qualify a catcher's worth like defensive runs saved above average, catcher's ERA and of course errors, fielding percentage and stolen bases numbers (runners thrown out, allowed and percentages). OK, so maybe I did manage to bore you a little bit. But know that Lucroy and Maldonado were around the league average in every category. While that certainly doesn't instill a lot of confidence, they were invaluable behind the plate as they helped the pitching staff to championship numbers (3.67 in 2014 as compared to 3.63 in 2011 and 3.85 in 2008). So you can't blame Lucroy, Maldonado or the pitching staff for the great collapse of 2014. These two men crouched behind the plate did everything they could on defense, calling the game and on offensive to get them to the playoffs. But it wasn't enough. The team just came up a little short, but there is no way a finger should every be pointed in their direction.

Braun had to step out of the limelight a little bit because of the whole PED suspension shit, so the Brewers wisely moved Lucroy into the marketing spotlight. He's got Southern charm (born in central Florida but went to college at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette and played for the Ragin Cajuns) and seems like an all around nice guy. Fans really got behind the "LUUUUUUUUUUUUCCC!!!" cheer and jumped right on that marketing bandwagon. They voted him in to the All-Star game and he started the game. He hit 53 doubles and led the league, setting a NL record for most doubles as a catcher in the process (falling 1 short of tying Lyle Overbay's franchise record set in 2004). On top of that he gave his time to charity, smiled for the cameras and seemed like an all around nice guy. There's really nothing bad that I can say about Lucroy or Maldonado and that continues in the video below.

Check out my 2nd video, which recaps the Catchers from the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded at my apartment on January 16, 2015:

It was the middle of the night after I had a few. I don't expect you to watch this because it's a real piece of work (as was I during this video). I should never get drunk. And I should never film a video. And I should never talk about the Brewers. And I should be embarrassed of my actions and where I am at this stage in my life. But I'm not. That's why I have problems.

Jonathan Lucroy #20 - .275 batting avg, 24 HRs, 81 RBIs, 125 games caught and his first All-Star appearance, which is not only well deserved but will also lift him out of the underrated ranks into the catching elite.

.301 batting avg, 13 HRs, 69 RBIs, 53 doubles, 133 games started at Catcher, 16 games started at 1st, made his 1st All-Star appearance (and started the game), was totally snubbed for a Gold Glove award but is at least beginning to earn a little respect, which puts him one step above Rodney Dangerfield.

Martin Maldonado #12 - .215 batting avg, 4 HRs, 19 RBIs, 37 games caught and the best god damn backup since the Time backed up Morris Day. That shit was the mad note! My Jungle Love, oo wee oo wee oo.

.234 batting avg, 4 HRs, 16 RBIs, 29 games caught, 2 games at 1B, 1 inning pitched (0.00 ERA) and a backup extraordinaire like my portable hard drive - there in case you need it in when the primary one crashes (but you hope to God that it never does). 

There's nothing really to say about these bastards anymore. I don't even know why I called them bastards. In fact, I'm sure both of them know their birth fathers, so what I'm saying right now is complete bullshit. But that's the story of my life pal. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, real shit, bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit. See how I managed to stick in some real shit in between there? That's because it happened. I don't know how it happened (because I wasn't there) but the 2014 season fell apart, but don't go pointing the finger at these two.

Catchers weren't the problem. Sure, people may point to Maldonado's numbers and have a problem with it, but he's a backup. How much did he really impact the 2014 team? But he was the perfect backup. When Lucroy needed a day off, the team was in perfectly capable hands. How many teams has that kind of benefit? Maldonado could start on a team without a front-tier starter. Could it be a frontier starter? Like Billy the Kid or Wyatt Earp? I could get behind that a whole lot more than the other option. Maybe because I admire Old West dudes who took the law into the hands, carried six shooters on the hips and banged some dirty prostitutes? Western Union train? There's only so much whiskey that money can buy, so you might as well just give that money to some old dusty broads. They're going to die from STDs in a few years anyway, right? And it doesn't matter that they gave you AIDS. A gunshot wound to the chest during a shootout at high noon will kill you faster. How would I know? I don't. I'm just guessing. I have never had AIDS or a gunshot wound to the chest, so I can't weigh in on that. But I have a feeling gunshots are worse, especially without the benefit of modern medicine.

   - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 - Overall Season Results

As I sit here on the night of December 19, I'm a mere few days away from officially putting 2014 behind me. But I put the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers season behind me a long time ago. It hurt. A lot. That's why it has taken me this long to write this article. Something just didn't feel right about this year. Vegas had the over/under at 79.5, so they didn't really expect them to be a winning team. I was out there in March and although I predicted that they would only win 84 games and miss the playoffs, I took the over on that bet. Since they (spoiler alert!) only won 82 games, I ended up winning that bet, but it didn't make up for what ended being a lost season. 

The season started out better than anyone expected. At the end of April they were 20-8, which was easily good for best in the Major Leagues (the next best team was the Oakland A's at 18-10). No one, and I mean it when I say no one, saw that coming. At the end of May they were 33-23 and in 1st place in the NL Central. At the end of June they were 51-33 (June 28th saw them at a season best 19 games over .500). They hit a skid going into the All-Star break with a 2-8 record from July 4th - July 13th, but still ended up at 60-49 and remained in 1st place in the NL Central. By the end of August they were 73-63 and tied with the St. Louis Cardinals for the division lead. And that's when everything went to hell. In September they went 9-17 and played themselves out of the playoffs and ended up finishing in 3rd place and becoming only the 5th team in Major League history (in the modern era)  to spend at least 150 days in 1st place and end up missing the playoffs. So it was a historical collapse. And I was there at the ballpark every day to see it.

I wish I could say that it was a waste of time. But that would be a lie. I loved every minute that I was at Miller Park and various other ballparks in March for Spring Training. All you need to do is visit my "Wearing a Sombrero" Facebook page to verify that I love this team with every ounce of my mind, body and soul. So I was there regardless of the outcome and I will always stick by my team through thick and thin. I may get upset from time to time, but that is part of being a fan. You ride the wave. You go with the flow. You maintain a level head during the ups and the downs. At the end of the day when all of the other bandwagon fans have fallen off, you will always be there for your team. That is why I stuck around until the end of the season even though others had given up. I will never give up. Goonies never say die. So here is my 2014 preseason predictions (in red) followed by the actual results (in blue). I'm hoping they are fairly accurate so that I can once again prove that I know my Milwaukee Brewers more than they know themselves.

Check out my first video which covers my Overall Results for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded in The House of Iceman in Miltown, the center of the Universe:

I meant to record this video the night before when I was sitting in the dark listening to Enya at 3:30 in the morning, but I decided to pass out instead. So I recorded this the next morning after a couple cups of whiskey coffee. I have problems.

• The Milwaukee Brewers will finish with a record of 84-78, which will be good enough to make me some money in Vegas but not good enough to make the Playoffs. The Milwaukee Brewers finished with a record of 82-80, which is technically a winning season. They did not make the playoffs, but I did win my bet and the ticket paid me $45.00.
• The St. Louis Cardinals will finish in 1st Place, the Pittsburgh Pirates in 2nd, the Milwaukee Brewers and Cincinnati Reds will battle it out for 3rd and the Chicago Cubs will finish in 5th (otherwise known as last) place. The St. Louis Cardinals did finish in 1st place (92-70 record and won the NL Central). The Pittsburgh Pirates finished 2nd in the division but won the 1st Wild Card. The Brewers were 3rd, the Cincinnati Reds were 4th and the Chicago Cubs finished in dead last.
• The Milwaukee Brewers will be represented by Carlos Gomez and Jonathan Lucroy to the 85th MLB All-Star Game at Target Field in Minneapolis, MN. The surprising start of the Milwaukee Brewers and their 1st place standing at the All-Star break garnered them 4 All-Stars - Carlos Gomez, Jonathon Lucroy, Aramis Ramirez and Francisco "KRod" Rodriguez. I purchased an Aramis Ramirez All-Star jersey because I already owned a Carlos G0mez (from 2013) and figured Lucroy would have plenty of opportunities in the coming years. At 36 years of age, you have to figure this was Ramirez's last All-Star appearance. Besides, he was voted in by the fans to start the game. How could I ignore that honor? 
• Thanks to the 2nd Wild Card, the Milwaukee Brewers will be in the playoff race deep into September, which should allow them to once again draw over 3 million fans. The Brewers ended up drawing almost 2.8 million fans at Miller Park and were eliminated from the playoffs on September 25 (in game 159 of 162).
• Because of this brutal Wisconsin Winter which will carry on seemingly forever, the roof at Miller Park will remain closed until Memorial Day. I'm too drunk right now to do the research, but it seemed like the roof stayed closed for a very long time. I don't think that it necessarily lasted until Memorial Day, but it was pretty damn close. 2013-2014 was the Winter that never ended.

Sometimes I hate being right. Even though I didn't want to admit it at the time, I had a feeling that the Brewers weren't going to make the playoffs. But that didn't stop me from holding on to one last hope that it could actually happen (despite every single other thing pointing at the opposite). With that in mind, I put down my deposit for playoff tickets. My playoff tickets arrived in the mail 2 days before the Brewers were officially eliminated from the playoffs. That was probably the biggest punch in the gut that I've ever received from this team. I've had season tickets several years now (2015 will be the 3rd year with my 20 game pack and I also had a 10 game pack in 2 other seasons) but I never was in a position to purchase playoffs tickets (since I didn't have them in 2008 or 2011). Holding in my hands the physical reminder that we should have been in the playoffs made this year sting so much more. I'm very emotional when it comes to the Brewers and I ride the highs and lows. But I've never been this angry before. I was ready to jump ship and start over with a new franchise, but I realized at this point in my life I was in too deep. I've been a Brewers fan my whole life, have 2 Brewers tattoos, have worked at Miller Park for 13 years, have spent way too much money on them, have a closet full of apparel, almost every bobblehead they've ever given away and I watch or listen to 150 games a year. After that kind of involvement, it's not so easy to walk away. After the anger subsided, I threw them some additional money and guaranteed season tickets (once again a 20 game pack) and a chance to purchase playoff games again in 2015. I'm stuck being a a fan of the Milwaukee Brewers. 2014 did not end how we wanted, but as you will see in the next couple of articles/videos, there were a couple of good things that happened this year. It's too bad that all we will remember will be the final result. 

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 - The Starting Rotation

I'll apologize right off the bat (hey! that's a baseball reference!) for all of my randomness, explicit language, desperate attempts at pleading for Sage to be my wife, obscure references or sexual innuendos that I make during this article. I am currently drinking rum and Sierra Mist out of a flower vase and when I do that it rarely leads to good results. So don't say that I didn't warn you. This is the final article for my Milwaukee Brewers 2014 series of 25 Brewers in 25 Days. Although in hindsight it should have been the first one. And in hindsight I should have laid off the snacks and made best friends with the local gym so I wouldn't still be single at age 32 with my Mother as my best friend. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. But to be quite honest with you, I don't have a fucking clue what that means. I do understand 7&7s, 24/7, 25 or 6 to 4, working 9 to 5, why 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, and 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 twel-el-el-el-el-elve! from the Sesame Street pinball game.

That was a fun trip down memory lane now, wasn't it? At least if you are as old as I am. But if you're a small child reading this, first off, congratulations on being able to read at such a young age, and secondly, what are you doing on the Internet unsupervised? You shouldn't be reading this shit! Parents these days. God damn it. Look after your kids before they endure a childhood full of missed naps, lack of discipline and morals, daddy issues, stunted mental growth and disrespect for their elders leading to a life of crime where they grow up and rob me someday. Fucking kids these days.

I better get back on topic before I turn too many people off. Because what I'm really trying to do is turn people on. Sexually. The 2014 Milwaukee Brewers Starting Rotation is going to be something special to watch, kind of like the group they put together in 2011 (Yovani Gallardo, Zack Greinke, Shaun Marcum, Randy Wolf, Chris Narveson and Marco Estrada) that won 96 games, the NL Central, the NLDS and made it to the NLCS. I will argue that talent wise, the 2014 Starting Rotation is better than that group. Much like I did with the bullpen, I'm going to give you a brief preview of the pitchers, but this time with no mention of Sage's underpants, although I would gladly talk about that topic in length all day, every day until I am granted the opportunity to see them for myself. Maybe if I get cancer I can Make a Wish to see those panties with my own eyes so that I can die happy. Wow that's messed up. Who wishes for cancer to see some random girl's underwear? I have reached an all-time low pal. There's no way I can be this pathetic, right? Does this girl really mean that much to me? You're god damn right she does. To quote Bryan Adams, "You can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for. I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more. Yeah, I would fight for you, I'd lie for you. Walk the wire for you, yeah, I'd die for you. You know it's true. Everything I do, oh, I do it for you." Maybe that's what I can do to charm the panties off of her - I can sing her some Bryan Adams. That's worked before right? What girl hasn't gotten moist when a guy sings to them, "And baby you're all that I want when you're lyin' here in my arms. I'm findin' it hard to believe we're in heaven. And love is all that I need and I found it there in your heart. It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven." I can't lose.

As promised, here is your 2014 Milwaukee Brewers Starting Rotation:

• Yovani Gallardo: he has been in the Major Leagues with the Brewers, the only organization he's ever known, since 2007 (although he did miss most of 2008 due to a torn ACL). If the Brewers don't pick up his option for 2015, he will be a free agent at the end of this season. There's been a long-winded debate if he is a #1 starter, but you can't argue he's the best pitcher the Brewers farm system has produced that is not named Ben Sheets. I'm hoping he performs even above my expectations in what could be a contract year.
• Kyle Lohse: When the Brewers signed Lohse prior to the 2013 season, many people got worried. Oh no! Not another former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher! Thoughts of Jeff Supan and Braden Looper made everyone uneasy, but Lohse was as good as advertised. If given more run support, he would have had more than 11 wins last year. His 3.35 ERA over 32 starts (198 innings) backs that up. But what no one talks about is his veteran presence in the clubhouse and how much he has helped younger pitchers like Tyler Thornburg (age 25) and Wily Peralta (age 24) as well as all of the players who made their Major League debut last season. You can't attach a stat to that value.
• Matt Garza: Milwaukee's most expensive free agent signing in team history has a 4 year deal worth $50 million + when you factor in options and incentives. It's a big deal. People might scoff at the fact that career wise, he's only a .500 pitcher (67-67 with a 3.82 ERA) but a win/loss record is not indicative of talent. Garza makes the Brewers a whole heck of a lot better and it just might be the move that puts them over the top... if he stays healthy. Garza has had some injuries in the past and it is a big concern, but then again, doesn't every player have some kind of issue? I prefer to think positively, so I'm expecting a big year from Garza.
• Marco Estrada: I've never given Estrada enough credit. I think he's no better than a long-man in the bullpen or an average starter on a bad team. But in actuality, he was one of the best road pitchers in all of baseball last year (5-2 record with a 2.09 ERA over 77 innings in 12 starts) and is a strikeout machine. He doesn't fuck around with "nibbling" or "painting the corners" and other things that drive up pitch counts. But what he does is give up home runs, which does not help him out at Miller Park. Since he is only good in half of his starts, if it pleases the court your Honor, I move to strike this evidence from the record. May I approach the bench? That's when the Defendant yells out, "Objection Your Honor! He's badgering the witness!" Then I get held in contempt of court, and just like that, my legal career is over. Fuck you Marco Estrada and your legal council.
• Wily Peralta: he's the biggest key that opens the giant ass lock that will allow us to go into the gates of the playoffs. Cryptic enough for you? Alright, I'll be more clear. Our season is riding on Peralta's shoulders. Is it fair to put that kind of pressure on a player in his 2nd year? Probably not. But if he's awful, we have an average Starting Rotation. But if he is great, we have an amazing Starting Rotation. How does one player tip the scales that much? I don't really know and I doubt I can fully explain it. But I have a feeling and for the first time it isn't in my pants when someone mentions Sage. This one I feel in my heart. It makes no logical sense at all. But mark my words - as Wily Peralta goes, so do the Brewers. Funny, it used to be as Rickie (Weeks) goes, so do the Brewers. How times have changed, eh?

Check out my final video, which covers the Starting Rotation for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded outside of Miller Park in Milwaukee, WI on the day I returned from Phoenix, AZ:

 

I'll be blunt when I say that I was a little pissed off while recording this video (it was really cold and windy so I recorded the audio on my phone, learning from my mistake at The London Bridge). I love Wisconsin will all of my heart and I will probably stay here for the rest of my life, but the Winter really sucks. I hate the snow and the cold, and coming back here was a real slap in the face. Especially after spending 6 days in Arizona and Las Vegas were it was sunny and in the high 70s or low 80s every single day. Why do people live in cold weather climates? I blame my parents, although I could have left at any given moment in my adult life. But I'm still here. This video should have been first because starting pitching sets the tone for the game and will be the #1 reason why the Brewers succeed or fail this year. But it was filmed last, so deal with it pal.

Yovani Gallardo #49 - 15-9 record, 3.44 ERA, 188 innings pitched, 32 starts, 174 strikeouts, able to put last year's on and off the field troubles behind him and reclaim his throne as the leader of this pitching staff for this year (and hopefully many years to come when they resign him).

Kyle Lohse #26 - 13-7 record, 3.29 ERA, 202 innings pitched, 32 starts, 130 strikeouts and the slow but steady force that keeps this pitching rotation (and this clubhouse) chugging along like Casey Jr.

Matt Garza #22 - 12-9 record, 3.75 ERA, 160 innings pitched, 25 starts, 141 strikeouts and decent bill of health thanks to an apple a day which kept the Doctor away.

Marco Estrada #41 - 9-11 record, 4.18 ERA, 145 innings pitched, 25 starts, 141 strikeouts and never, ever ever, ever ever ever going to get any respect from me, Rodney Dangerfield-style.

Wily Peralta #38 - 13-11, 3.65 ERA, 32 starts, 189 innings pitched, 140 strikeouts and one small step for Wily Peralta, one giant leap for Milwaukee Brewers Starting Pitching.

And there she is. I'll only talk about Sage one more time in this year's 25 Brewers in 25 Days feature. Of course that's only because this is the last article. Don't worry friends (or worry because you fear for my mental health because of my obsession with her) I will still figure out a way to bring her up throughout the remainder of the Brewers season and for the rest of my life. The picture on the left was taken down in Arizona but sadly I wasn't the photographer. My friend Elliot sent me this picture when I was down in Phoenix to let me know that she was there. I told him that if I saw her, I was going to ask her to be my wife. I told him that he would be invited to the wedding and that if he played his cards right, I might even make him my best man. And you know what the best man gets to do, right? He asked what. I told him, "Give a speech you sick bastard. She's my wife!" I love putting words in someone else's mouth or coming up with a sick idea and blaming the other person for doing it. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but my favorite example of it is in Groundhog Day. When Phil Connors (Bill Murray) steals the groundhog and is driving away in the car, Larry (Chris Elliott) and Rita (Andie MacDowell) are following in the news van. Rita asks, "Why would anybody steal a groundhog?" Larry responds with, "I can probably think of a couple of reasons. Pervert." But since Larry is the one who came up with the sick ideas, isn't he the pervert? But he puts the blame on Phil for some of the things that Phil would do with the groundhog that stemmed from his imagination. I love it.

And so that's the end of this year's 25 Brewers in 25 Days. I kind of crammed it all into 16 days and my previews were still happening even as the regular season started. I don't intend to do things this way but some of the best things in my life have been unplanned, like my future children. I'm not perfect and neither are the Brewers, but they will need to play that way if they want to make the playoffs this year. They have better pitching depth than in years' past, but they can't sustain major injuries to their top players. What team can? I'll happily sustain a major injury so that Sage would come visit me in the hospital as long as I don't have to lose a limb. You know how people how people say "I'd give my right arm to spend a night with Sage, no questions asked." Wait, people don't say that? I'm the only one? But as much as I love Sage, I don't think I would give up my right arm. As a writer and a guitar player, I would be seriously altered for life without that appendage. So how about a leg? If I lost a leg I would either be on crutches or in wheelchair for life. People who are crippled have to work twice as hard as the normies do. I'm not looking for extra work. I don't even do a whole lot of work as it is. So let's throw that one out of the window. I already mentioned the Cancer thing in previous articles. but I don't want to once again make a joke out of a serious issue. So I can't lose a limb or get a life threatening disease. So how I am supposed to get Sage to feel sorry for me to get close enough to realize how amazing I am and then fall madly in love with me? Good old fashioned charm. And a whole lot of luck.

Skill is one thing. So is talent. Putting in the hard work and effort will get you a long way. But you also need luck; for things to go your way. I didn't even mention Hank the Dog in any of these articles. I won't get into length about it, but the Brewers found a stray dog that wandered into Maryvale Ballpark in Phoenix and they started taking care of him. It became a huge story and people are in love with the little rascal. Now they may have taken it too far with the merchandise and public appearances, but they have said they are donating some of the proceeds to both the Wisconsin and Arizona Humane Societies. As someone who has adopted two cats from the Humane Society, I can totally get behind that. We should always help out those less fortunate than ourselves, even if they are animals. So the Brewers did something really good. I'm a firm believer in Karma (and not just the drink girl at La Bayou in Las Vegas from a few years ago) and that this good deed could earn them some serious good fortune in the future. 

So the Brewers have the tools and they have the talent. They may have the luck. Will it lead to the playoffs? Will I ever get to meet Sage? Will she realize that I am her destiny? Will I wake up and register for an Internet dating site such as Match.com so I will focus my attention on a girl that is more in my league? Will California ever separate from the United States? Not legally, but in terms of land mass? Because like by the year of 20-something they are supposed to do something. Will X ever truly mark the spot? Will Rickie Weeks be able to bat his weight? Can Matt Garza avoid the DL? Will Ryan Braun's thumb injury prevent him from being Ryan Braun? Will the Starting Rotation be as good as I think they can be? Will Carlos Gomez, Jean Segura, Khris Davis and Scooter Gennett be able to replicate their amazing performances from last season? Will Wily Peralta take the next step forward? Will Marco Estrada keep the ball in the park, the spice in his marriage and the spark in the bedroom? Will this article ever end? Here's hoping we get some of those answers during the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers season. But even if we don't, at least it's going to be one hell of a ride.

 - pookon -

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