Whiskey & Whatever - C is for Cookie Video

Last week I shared the song "C is for Cookie" that Kevin and I created (as the band Whiskey & Whatever) while we were camping. This just kind of happened while we were jamming out to some Tom Petty and it just took off and became its' own monster. And a Cookie Monster at that. Well this weekend I had a little downtime and an idea to put together some video clips to play behind this song. The results of which truly embody the spirit of our band, our childhood icons and what happens when you combine Whiskey & Whatever. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did singing the song and putting this together. But if you don't, I really don't mind. Because C is also for complacent. And that's good enough for me.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/
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Whiskey & Whatever - C is for Cookie (ft. Jenny Reck)

While camping at Mirror Lake State Park near the Wisconsin Dells, we played songs around the fire. After finishing Tom Petty's "You Don't Know How it Feels" we created a song using Cookie Monster's "C is for Cookie" as a guideline. What happened that night was another on the spot creation to add to Whiskey & Whatever's staple of musical works.

This is one of many reasons why I set out the recording device every time we sit around and make music. Kevin and I (and any of the one of the multitude of friends and family that join us) can come up with these musical wonders at any given moment. I'd rather have thousands of recorded hours of music with a few minutes worth posting than not have a recording of the good stuff when it happens. I just hope that you enjoy these songs and that you get to be there in person the next time something like this comes together. 

 - pookon - 

http://www.pookon.com/
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It's in My Head - #18: What if Apples Tasted Like Mashed Potatoes?

Wouldn't it be weird if one day all the sudden food didn't taste like it was supposed to? I'm not saying that in a bad way, like now everything tastes like shit. I'm saying that now it just tastes like another food. Like suppose you bit into an apple, and instead of tasting like an apple, it tasted like mashed potatoes. So that's really good if you like mashed potatoes, but what if you were really excited to eat that apple? Now you don't get the taste of apples anymore because all apples taste like mashed potatoes. That would make me wonder if this was an isolated incident or if this phenomenon was widespread. I know I would be like a mad scientist given his first government job with unlimited supplies and experimental freedom; I would be testing everything.

So if apples taste like mashed potatoes, I wonder what a chicken sandwhich tastes like. So I run out to the nearest fast food joint and I grab a chicken sandwhich... and I instantly spit it out because it tastes like creamed corn. Yuck. But I'm 1 for 2. I'm batting .500. I grab a handful of spinach and toss those leaves into my mouth. To my surprise, they tasted just like gummy bears! This was the best! I'm going to eat spinach with every meal from now on! But I also got worried. What about my favorite foods? Would I dare try some pizza or french fries? I don't want to know what happened to these foods because my memory of them is too good that I don't want to taint it with realization that pizza doesn't taste like pizza anymore and french fries don't taste like french fries anymore.

I'd be willing to try a whole lot of things that I probably didn't eat before, like gross foreign food, creatures from the sea and domesticated animals just to see if they tasted like Oreo ice cream, spaghettios or cotton candy. Who knows what it tastes like until you try it? Everything you know about food is completely thrown out the window because nothing tastes like it is supposed to. Would that blow your mind or would you be ok with that? I'm really not sure. I'm always open to try new things, but it seems like every time I go to a restaurant, I order something familiar like a hamburger. Someone can't screw up a hamburger, can they? Have you ever had a real, I mean absolutely terrible hamburger? No! Because hamburgers taste like hamburgers. You know what you are getting. 

But what if you didn't know what you were getting? Because the hamburger now tastes like seaweed. And then you eat some seaweed and it tastes like barbecue ribs. Then you get some barbecued ribs and it tastes like skim milk. Then you get some skim milk and it tastes like purple seedless grapes. And the purple seedless grapes taste like Nacho Cheese Doritos. And Nacho Cheese Dorritos taste like scrambled eggs. And scrambled eggs taste like churros. And churros taste like Gerber baby food sweet potatoes. And then you open up the can of Gerber baby food sweet potatoes and it tastes like microwave popcorn. Microwave popcorn now tastes like a banana. And a banana tastes like a steak cooked medium rare. Medium rare steak tastes like sweet and sour chicken but a steak well done tastes like Mountain Dew. Crack open a can of Mountain Dew and get ready for the wild taste of boiled goose. Are you a fan of boiled goose? Well you might not be anymore now that boiled goose tastes like decaf coffee. If you find yourself putting on a pot of decaf in the afternoon because you used to like the taste, get ready for a warm cup of clam chowder. Actually that doesn't sound too bad. I could go for a nice cup of clam chowder in the afternoon. But heaven forbid I crush a couple of saltine crackers in my decaf coffee and almost vomit when I realize that I just put blueberries in my clam chowder.

I would be so mixed up all the time. I'm sure eventually you could learn to accept the madness of the new food world because after all, you've already learned what things tasted like before from trying them and you have developed a connection between taste and sight. Why couldn't you do it again? I'm sure that you could relearn everything enough to remember that when you have a craving for steamed broccoli, all you have to do is unwrap a Werther's original. Thirsty for a cold refreshing Miller Lite? Make sure you grab a string cheese out of the fridge. Up would be down, left would be the 6:00 Evening News and jello would be macaroni and cheese. In some strange way I feel like I would fit perfectly into that world. Because that's what's in my head and my head is a very twisted place. I never know what to expect when I bite into something, so why shouldn't it be something insane? How about you? Could you live in that world? What kind of bizarre food switches are in your head?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
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It's in My Head - #9: Raiders of the Lost Fridge

One of the first things I always do when I go over to someone's house is raid the fridge. If it's a stranger's house or if I'm there for the first time, I'm not just gotta plunder that treasure chest and have their moms thinking, "What kind of pirate did my son bring over?" I at least have a little respect for others and their possessions. But if I'm at my Mom's or a relative's house, it's finder's keepers, loser's weepers. Most times I'm not even hungry. But it's just such a normal behavior. It's like why Indiana Jones keeps going on all these adventures despite the fact that he probably gets a pretty good salary as a college professor (with a Doctorate at that). In the classroom you don't have to worry about snakes. For someone who is deathly afraid of them like Indy, you'd think he'd be choose anything but snakes and kick back and collect a paycheck. But being a college professor is not comfortable for Indy. I'm also not comfortable being a "college professor", so I venture into the fridge searching for idols and buried treasure. I have to admit that searching through the fridge is me going on an Indiana Jones adventure. And me not eating food is like Dr. Henry Jones Jr. teaching an archaeology class. I only feel normal don't feel quite so alone when I've got some food to keep me company. So I guess that's how I got to be where I am today. Couldn't stop raiding the fridge. Even Indiana Jones would take some time off in between fighting Nazis and false gods who rip your heart out. You can't always be out searching for priceless biblical artifacts. So I shouldn't always be eating.

But hey! Some of that stuff is beautiful and it's filled with richness beyond belief! But it also comes with a warning - "You must choose, but choose wisely, for as the real grail brings eternal life, the false grail brings death". So far I've chosen poorly. Something has got to be done about it. I'm not going to live to be Indiana Jones' age if I keep Raiding the Lost Fridge. How am I going to stop? How do you break a habit? How do you unlearn something that you have taught yourself and have practiced meticulously every day for your entire life. You stop because you have to, not because you want to. You stop because your body is fighting back because you are abusing it. You stop because your bank account can't handle any more medical bills. You stop because people secretly make fun of you behind your back for being overweight. You stop because women don't find you attractive and they never will. You stop because you're never comfortable - not sitting down, not standing up and definitely not while in motion. You stop because if you don't, you're going to die. Time for me to stop.

Refrigerators and Indiana Jones are in my head. Raiders of the Lost Fridge sounds like a goofy spoof title of a movie I'd like to see done with claymation. I didn't expect to take a dark turn. The refrigerator light is usually on to guide me. But the door has been closed and sometimes I go down that path. That's what happens in my head - the best intentions to be funny and to not take things seriously sometimes have to be realistic. Because death is not a laughing matter. We're all going to die. The World has already established that for us. There is no Holy Grail that will give eternal life. Life isn't a race, so why am I trying to cross the finish line before all of you do? I don't know. I never had an answer for that one. Why didn't that appear in my head? What impulses in your head do you have to resist?    

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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Pickle the Day: October 30th - Uh! The Temptations!

It's no secret that I like to eat. One look at me tells that story. Let's just say I'll never be confused for a starving orphan child. But I will still ask, "Please Sir, can I have some more?" Greedy bastard. You don't need seconds. What you need is to stop eating. My Mom had a bowl full of candy at her house in case Trick-O-Treaters came by. No one wants to be that house who doesn't have shit. It gives you a bad rep in the neighborhood. I took a handful of candy on Sunday, put it in my freezer and now I'm trying to see how long I can go without eating it. Sounds like an easy challenge, right? Not for someone who thinks that food goes bad if you keep it for more than a few hours. I'm a compulsive eater who keeps eating when they are not hungry. I'm probably making things up/making excuses but I think that I have an addictive personality. I always need to be doing something but that thing is rarely something positive. When I'm bored, I eat or drink. Instead of doing that I should be out walking around or exercising in some way but I'm too lazy. I need a complete lifestyle change because I hate the person that I am today. There's a good reason why I try not to leave the house. I'd rather be alone in my misery instead of bothering other people with it. 

And it all starts from within. I need to change my mind before I change my habits or my body. I'm starting to think that I might need help from an outside source because I'm not making any progress on my own. You've been following along over the last few weeks here for Pickle the Day. How many of these posts have been something positive? Even the ones that started out as a lighthearted tale quickly dove into the depths of sadness and negativity. I need to figure out a lot of things in my life. I've been sayin' it. I've been sayin' it for 10 damn years, Miguel. Ain't I been sayin' it? You don't have to read my mind to know we need to get as far away from here as we can. I picked the wrong time to do this little experiment. And it looks like you picked the wrong goddamn rec room! Fucking Graboids. You killed 3 Ninja's Grandpa. For that I will never forgive you. What a sweet and kind old man. How dare you. Wait... what? You were just hungry and he was the closest available food source? I know exactly what that is like. My apologies Graboid. I do forgive you. Me and you are one and the same. Just misunderstood creatures searching for some food. We can't help ourselves.

I'm no Graboid, but if I don't do something about it soon I'll be as big as one of them. What if Kevin Bacon lifted half of me up in the air and yelled out, "I think I found the ass end!" How embarrassing would that be? That's a 1st degree of Kevin Bacon. Yeah, a 1st degree burn. I don't need or want that to happen. Who wants to be humiliated by Kevin Bacon? I'm sure once you could start laughing about it (after many years of therapy) it would make a great story at Christmas Parties. I don't know anyone who has been picked up and jiggled by Kevin Bacon, so if that happens I will corner the market on that experience. Or at least in my social circle. I'm going to try and avoid that if possible. I've already had enough heartbreak and disappointment in my life. I don't need Kevin Bacon to add to it. That would be completely unnecessary. While my food consumption, lack of exercise and overall attitude about my life is a concern, I was really reaching for a pickle today and didn't have a good one. I'm definitely out of ideas and I'm thankful that I only have to come up with 1 more pickle to share. The jar is nearly empty my friends. Only one remains. I will be sharing that with you tomorrow as the month of October comes to and end. As for those candy bars? They're all mine. I'm not sharing shit! I haven't eaten them yet but pretty soon the temptation will get to me. It always does. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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The Write Month: June 21 - Get the Fork Outta Here!

By now you've figured out that I'm a little weird. What tipped you off? Certainly you figured it out by following me during this month, on social media or in real life. I don't know what stops me from being "normal" but I kind of like it. It sets me apart from everyone else. I've never met anyone else like me and I bet you haven't either. We all have those little things that make us unique. That's one of the beautiful things about being human. Even identical twins have something about them that make them different from each other. We're like snowflakes man - no two are ever the same. We all have our little quirks. One thing that I'm really weird about is forks. I don't like forks. If I have it my way I will never use a fork again. I'm all about the spoon. And I'm not just talking about in the bedroom, I'm talking about in the kitchen, in the living room, at the park and in my spaghetti. 

What can you do with a fork that you can't do with a spoon? The most obvious answer lies at the tip - the fork has those little stabby points while the spoon just has a round edge. You might say that you need a fork to hold your steak while you cut it, or to twirl your pasta, or to pick up the lettuce in the bowl or to comb your hair if you are the Little Mermaid. I'll give you those things as reasons where a fork comes in handy but it's just not for me. A well pressed spoon can hold down a steak for carving, I prefer rotini, shells or macaroni as opposed to angel hair or fettuccine pasta, a spoon can scoop up lettuce as well as all the fixings in a good salad and with the exception of a few times when I grew my hair out I keep my hair nice and short, which makes it perfectly manageable when I'm devotin' full time for floatin' under the sea. Basically if you come at me with a fork I will counter with a spoon. I don't care for forks so you can take that utensil and go fork yourself.

I don't know why I am this way. It would be one thing if I grew up as the brother of The Blue Raja and I had to dodge forks so much that it literally and mentally scarred me for life. In college at UW Oshkosh I actually got quite accurate at flinging them into the wall at the end of the hallway by my dorm room. If I would have taken my training a little more seriously I could have cleaned up both High and Algoma streets and kept the riffraff off of campus. But I grew tired of forks and started my love affair with the spoon. I know that little bald headed kid said there is no spoon but he's still plugged in to the machine, so what the hell does he know? Copper-top motherfucker. I can't think of any situation where a spoon can't be used. Plus it is absolutely crucial for all of the best foods like soup, ice cream, cereal and spaghettios. Mmm mmm good. Not with a fork. See those spaces in between the pointy things? Those are the cracks where your food slips back into your bowl and not into your mouth. You should have used a spoon. Nice work there pal.

Look, I realize that you are either a spoon person or a fork person. Or you can go all Rodney King on our asses and go with a spork. I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? That's like the best of both worlds. Or you can take solace in the fact that God gave you two hands so you didn't have to make a choice. Spoon in one hand, fork in the other. Of course if it were me I'd have a spoon in one hand and a bigger spoon in the other. Don't judge me.  I like the big spoon. And I'm hoping there is at least one lady out there who likes it too.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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With Great Beard Comes Great Responsibility

I don't post enough everyday content on here. Everything is topic based such as my Brewers posts, The Drive to Stay Alive or my Drunken Movie Reviews. While I do love all of those things, they kind of limit what I can say to a point because I have to fall within a certain, althogh self imposed, structure. Now that I have a new phone that is more obnoxiously big than I am, it is easier to type a couple of paragraphs up while I'm away from my computer. So I'm going to post some shit whenever it comes to me and see what happens. Who knows man. It could be sweet or it could be another failed venture. But at least you can't give me shit for not trying.

The title of this post and the picture really say it all. But of course I have to expand upon that. I've been one lazy bastard lately and I haven't shaved since Christmas when I last had to look presentable. Since then I've pretty much been living a Hermit's life except for going to work. I've been drunk most of the time and didn't give a shit about my appearance so this is what happened. I look like I just woke up from a coma. I've seen hobos that look more handsome than I do right now. I was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich last night and it was ugly. There was peanut butter everywhere and I was as sticky as Winnie the Pooh face deep in a honey comb. It just wasn't pleasant, so now it's time for a change.

I've shaved before. Duh. Or else I'd have the world's biggest beard. Well probably not, but you could hide contraband in that thing. But if you want to have a beard you have to control it lest you let it control you. And I fell victim to it. I let it stand as a symbol of my complacency. My inability to go anywhere in my life. My laziness. It makes me look like I don't give a shit. Some people can pull off a sweet beard. I can't. I look like an asshole. So it's time to change.

But that's where I'm going to leave you today. I have the path all mapped out for change but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. If you've been followinge over the years on this blog it's no different than before but this time I'm ready to not accept failure. I've been a disappointment for my entire life and I can't keep doing it anymore. So check back later for that if you care. And if you don't then join the club. Seriously. There is a club for people who don't give a shit about me. It's called everyone. You're already in it until you decide to help out a fellow human who is just trying to turn their life around. That club is always open and accepting new members.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com

"7 in 7" - Go Bananas - Day 5

For serious I think I'm going to end this. I'm done going bananas. I didn't get my desired results but I did get something completely unexpected. But the whole reason I started doing this is because I thought it was funny and it would be a good joke for and on the Twitter. Go Bananas he says! Wahoooooooo! Look at that guy! He's freaking nuts! But it's not that funny anymore because I am the joke. It started with them laughing with me and turned into them laughing at me. I'm pretty much a failure in life and I need to rectify that if I ever want to amount to anything. But here's the thing. I still got time to change things and I have the tools to do it. So in that regard this experiment is a success. I can't promise to follow through with this because you know me. I pretty much stay the same and I don't welcome change. So we'll see what happens when this little adventure comes to an end. 

I really don't know what to do with this space right now. I can't really explain my future actions to you because I don't really understand what is happening to me and how I go about turning this idea into something plausible. That's weird for me not to pour out my thoughts and feelings on here because I 'm usually pretty candid and overtly truthful on this blog where I can do it semi-anonymously. I say it that way because you know who I am even though I try to hide behind a child-hood moniker. And you may someday call me out on things that I put on here. And then I'm held liable for them. But the reason that I can mostly hide is because the majority of people don't take the time to come on here and read what I have to say. And the people who do make it probably don't have the attention spans to bury themselves in these words. There is a whole lot of them and for the most part it's all nonsense. So I don't expect you to get to this part with your sanity in tact.

So I guess this is where I leave you for now. I'm sorry that I don't have some kind of epic conclusion for you or a grand finale. That's because this is just the end of this chapter. But don't worry, in this live action version of choose your own adventure I get to decide what happens next. And I'm sure that I will make a whole lot of interesting choices in this adventure before the story comes to a close. So that's it. This may be one of the lamest things I've ever written because it doesn't make sense and it isn't interesting at all. This is why I only write when I feel inspired instead of trying to meet a deadline or a quota. I promised some daily interaction here on the site and I feel like I must come on here and give you an update as to where I am in this little departure from my usual life. Sometimes I feel like I will just be able to crank out some text when the time is right and for the most part I am able to do it. But then there comes times like right now and I am basically typing out what I am thinking so that I do have something to share with you right now. I would want to have it any other way but I can't always be on top of my game man. After all, I have been eating nothing but bananas for the past 5 days so I probably don't the energy to fuel my brain power right now. So you just have to come back here when I eat a couple of pounds of Smarties and explode on a sugar high. Or until I have a couple of pulls from the whiskey bottle. That's sure to be exciting.

Bananas Consumed: 12

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

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"7 in 7" - Go Bananas - Day 4 / Drive to Stay Alive - Episode 1

I really don't have anything of value to say today man. It was a very boring and average day in the life of one Mr. Scott A. Reck, Esquire. I had several cahnces to do something with my life today but I chose not to. I have no idea why because I was actually in a fairly good mood today as I went about my business. That's rather odd for a Monday as I'm used to feeling pretty down that my freedom has been stolen away from me by my white-collar job. But I was told never to bite the hand that feeds me so I'm not going to turn this into a job bashing session. You're welcome. You probably have your own shitty job to complain about and don't need to hear about mine. I'm still going strong with this banana thing and I found out today that it is an actual diet. I rarely reveal stuff about my personal life at work because it's none of their business but I let it slip that I was going bananas. My coworker then told me that she knew about this kind of thing and had tried something similar in her youth. I then had to tell her that this wasn't about losing weight (although I could stand to drop a couple hundred pounds) and that I was just going bananas. Of course she didn't understand. Very few people do. That's why I seclude myself within the confines of my home so I don't bother anyone. Leave them alone and hopefully they leave me alone. I am saddled with a lifetime of solitude thanks to my actions and behaviors. Or it could be by personal choice. Who knows man.

But even though I don't have a lot to say in text form I did have a lot to say in my new personal podcast which I'm going to title "The Drive to Stay Alive." It will be recorded in my car whenever I feel like doing it and it will basically be me trying to find myself or figure some shit out on my way to and from work. I call it that because I'm trying to find a reason to stay alive. A reason to live. Before you get concerned let me make this clear - I don't want to die and I would never do anything intentionally harm myself. I just don't have a purpose in life and I think it is in my best interest to find one. It will all make sense if you listen below or save a copy to listen to at a later date.

Right click and save as to download Drive to Stay Alive - Episode 1: http://pookonco.ipower.com/music/dtsa1.mp3

I've said all that I could for today. Sorry if you came here expecting the crazy that I promised on Day 1, but as I explain in the podcast I haven't felt crazy so I can't act like I am. This experiment is a whole lot different than I expected it to be and I'm hoping that tomorrow I will be able to provide some more uplifting content. But I can't promise anything man. I don't even know what kind of surprises that life will present me tomorrow so I can't prepare for what may happen. Instead I'm just gonna roll with the changes and stay flexible man. Have to be ready to take on any challenges or situations that life throws at me. Because we all know that life has an assortment of pitches but always throws the one low and outside that you can't handle. But will I swing and fail trying to be the hero or will I take the walk and get on base allowing the next guy to drive me in? And why does everything have to revolve around baseball? Why can't I focus on something else that I have more control over? Or even a sport that I actually play and not just sit around and watch as an overly critical analyzer. I'm lost now man, so I'm gonna go out and find myself even if I have to search for the next few years.  But with no map, no sense of direction and only a compass, how am I ever going to find anything? You just put Jack in the Shack, right? 

Bananas Consumed: 10

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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"7 in 7" - Go Bananas - Day 3

I wanted to quit so bad today. I have nothing against bananas and water but life requires more variety than that. That's why there are so many options in this world when it comes to food and drink and basically everything else. You do have a choice in life and more often will make the choice that benefits yourself. Sure, there are many times where your sacrifice yourself fr the greater good or to save, protect or help out your family/friends, but for the most part we are individuals who make decisions that benefit ourselves. Or I could be wrong. I guess instead of speaking for the entire human population I will have to just go on record as saying these are my personal feelings. I spend an awful amount of time alone and I have never been in a serious relationship. Other than taking care of either one of my cats, I only have to make choices for myself and I am the only one that reaps the rewards or suffers through the consequences.

Which comes back to this quitting idea. I'm kind of a quitter and kind of not. It depends on what it is really. When it comes to jobs I've worked at one (Miller Park) for 10 years and the other (Mark Travel) for 5, so I don't really know how to leave a job anymore. I move to a different house or apartment (and even back home once) every year since I left for college in 1999, so one can say that I can't commit to one place and quit my community and neighborhood and don't stick around long enough to make a house a home. Granted I don't have anything tying me down and the biggest reason why I moved so much was that my roommates were constantly changing but I still never planted any roots. While that is fairly common for young adults in college I'm not in that demographic anymore. Being 31 years old and 6 years removed from college I should have planted some roots somewhere with someone and settled down, but I quit before it go to that point. And as far as relationships go I quit them even before they start. In face I don't even go out and look for someone because I guess I'm afraid of quitting on them or them quitting on me. I always tell myself that I'm going to eat healthy and work out so I don't live like a sad sac of shit for the next 20 years and die alone of a heart attack at 50 with nothing to show for a life. But then after a few weeks or months I quit because it becomes difficult and time consuming. I touched on it a little before but the real reason I'm a quitter is because I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of Terror Dogs. Shit. Of course I am! Everyone is. Just like at that mutt and tell me that you wouldn't turn and run in fear of getting mauled. I've been afraid of these things since I was a little kid and they used to torment my dreams until I was well into my teens. And even though I'm still pretty terrified by this beast at 31 years old and supposedly an adult, this is not what I fear the most. Terror dogs are not real. Although I would lose my shit if they suddenly were real. Happiness is real. And for some reason I'm afraid of being happy. I could change my life for the better and love myself so I could allow myself to be loved by others. I could look for a new job and try to better myself and do a job that I actually care about and not one that I mindlessly plod through. I could think before I talk and not be a giant asshole to people. I could do many things to help myself out as my time on this planet keeps dwindling. But forever reason I don't commit to doing anything because I'm afraid. And for the life of me I can't understand why.

I'm sure that it has something to do with the fact that I love to be negative. I often make discouraging comments about myself that should be self-deprecating in the style of Bob Uecker or Rodney Dangerfield but in my case they just come off as sad instead of funny. I constantly need something to criticize or complain about because I always see the glass as half empty. I tend to look at what I don't have instead of focusing on what I do. I compare myself to other people in all aspects of life like relationship status, amount of money, looks, intelligence, sense of humor and all of the little things. It's terrible. I'm more unique than most people I know. With all due respect of course. I have a lot of good things going for me but for whatever reason I don't see the picture. Must be closing my eyes or some shit. Or I'm blind. I don't know man. But it's got to change if I want to not be hanging out alone every night. It's getting rather old and my bed's getting really cold. Cause it's fall and everything. Look I don't know where I'm going with this and I'm just rambling now. Weird too because I haven't had any alcohol in like 3-4 days or something. Must be the bananas kicking in. Good Lord I hope so. I'm ready to go bananas.

I don't know if I explained anything properly today nor am I aware if I made my point on here. But the main thing is that I did it and every second I spend on here trying to talk about some real or nonsensical shit is a second away from focusing on the food and booze in my house that is constantly calling my name. Those bitches don't shut up too. And who the hell is Guy LeMontepass?"

Bananas Consumed: 7

 - pookon - 

www.pookon.com

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"7 in 7" - Go Bananas - Day 2

I don't usually say this so don't think I'm going to make a habit out of it. Sometimes it's good to be a fat guy. For 2 days now I have had nothing to eat except for 5 bananas and I don't feel different in any way. I guess I have plenty of reserves to work off before my stomach starts feeling hungry or my body gets week. But I've made sure to drink plenty of water and actually sleep for a change. Maybe that's why I feel better. I also haven't had any alcohol, caffeine or junk food in the last 48 hours. So maybe it's just my body cleaning out all the toxins that I constantly put into it and I feel normal for once. I know it's just 2 days into this little experiment but I'm starting to feel like instead of going crazy, I might actually be returning to what society calls normal. I don't feel odd or like I'm traveling through multiple dimensions at once like I often do at work. And to think I almost quit last night because I called this thing stupid. It may still be stupid and ill advised by Doctors, but I can't give up on this because I need to see if I slip into insanity. I need to find out if I have a breaking point when it comes to food and alcohol. Because those are 2 of the things I love the most.

I eat too much. That's why I have 2 chins and people said that I look like Jonah Hill before he went and got all skinny before doing 21 Jump Street. Food is awesome. I eat all the time when I'm not hungry because it tastes so damn good. I figured out today that I eat just to eat or because I'm bored and never because I am hungry. I also eat too much. I used to be able to put away a whole frozen pizza or a box of Kraft Dinner but these days I struggle with it. I must be getting old and my body is slowing down or some shit. But even though my stomach says no my foolish pride says yes and I munch down on the food and take care of business. And then I lay around sick for the rest of the night with a belly ache. So maybe I should learn something from this adventure. Maybe I should just wait until I get hungry to eat. Maybe I should try portion control. Just like Prince used to tell me. Wait, he wasn't speaking about only eating the recommended amount of calories for a healthy diet? That song was about Pussy Control? Well at least I got the eating part right. Hi-o!

I know that I don't drink enough water because I'm too busy drinking other things. And before you start letting your imagination run wild I can assure you that I'm not sitting on top of my garage drinking ram's piss doing some high altitude training. Because we all know that if you can drink ram's piss, then fuck, you can drinking anything. But I don't drink just anything. I drink rum, and lots of it. Sometimes I do switch it up with some whiskey but it seems like I'm always drinking something. I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic because it's not like I need it to survive and for the most part I don't get all worked up on or off of it. I might just be making excuses but I've seen alcoholics and I wouldn't put myself in that class. But then again isn't the first sign that you have a problem is denying that you have a problem? I don't know man. I'm a liar. I can't stop lying about regular stuff that a normal person would tell the truth about. I can't help it. So I may be lying. I may not be. It's the bananas talking man. I swear!

So not much happened today that signaled my descent into madness. I fear I may never go bananas. I'm used to doing crazy shit that no one else understands so at this point I don't even bat an eye when someone questions my actions that may seem a little bizarre. Maybe I can't go insane because I already am. Perhaps I don't recognize the madness because I'm always mad. And I also probably can't recognize chaos because my world is enveloped in it every single day. I don't even pretend to understand what the hell is going on with my life but I certainly don't need someone telling me that God is the answer. And I don't need a lecture about everything that is wrong with me when I already know what those are. Give me answers, don't point out the problems. I got plenty of problems right now. Problems like thinking it's a good idea to eat nothing but bananas for a week in attempt to lose control of reality and spiral towards an unrelenting doom. Who would want something like that? Better yet, who would intentionally do that to themselves? That's how I know I'm already mad. Most people have some kind of kooky idea and laugh it off, never daring to try it because they know the outcome. Well I'm trying it even though I probably know how this will end. I'll give you a hint. It'll end like every other day of my life - I'll be sleeping alone. And living alone. And being alone. That's because I'm too busy trying to drive myself crazy instead of letting a woman do it. That line will for sure get me laid tonight. What girl doesn't want to hear that?

Bananas Consumed: 5

 - pookon - 

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"7 in 7" - Go Bananas - Day 1

Back in March I decided to try and change my life. I was going through a depressing rough patch and I figured it would be easy to turn it around by thinking positively and setting achievable goals. I picked a small task to accomplish or something to focus on and I gave myself a week of time to do it. Some things were as simple as not watching TV or Movies for a week so I could focus on writing. One week I decided to become a Vegetarian so I could know what it was like to be my sister Jenny. Perhaps the best one I did was where I donated money to different charities and explained why I did them. If you don't remember them or if you never read them you can check those articles out on the right side of the page under Pookon's Ill Labels under the category "7 in 7". The reason that I bring those up is because for the most part they were all serious and I intended to actually change my life for the better by trying new things or refraining from doing things that were holding me back or bringing me down. This episode of "7 in 7" is nothing like the other ones. But that is what makes this one so good.

I'm about to go bananas. Literally. Although I did intend to use it as a metaphor as well. For the next week I'm not going to eat anything except for bananas and I'm not going to drink anything except for water. I know going into this that this is extremely bad for my body and I probably won't make it a week. But seeing as I put my body through worse things such as daily cocktails, sugary snacks and no exercise I think my body can handle this. If it hasn't given up by now it certainly won't give up this week. But I can assure you (for those of you at home who are concerned about my health and well being) that if my health is compromised and I start feel ill due to the effects of eating nothing but bananas I will stop. I hate to be a quitter but this experiment is about going crazy, not hurting myself.

And that's the reason behind going bananas. It's not just about eating the delicious yellow fruit for a week. I'm seriously losing my mind here. Life is, for lack of a better way of saying it, fucked up. Ever since Timmy died I haven't been right. Of course not. How does one person lose their brother and their best friend and come out of it without having problems? But my issue is that I don't really deal with them for the most part and a year and a half later I'm going crazy. I've sunk into a level of madness that consumes me and prevents me from going to sleep at night. But here's the thing - I don't have any problem sleeping. It's not like I have insomnia or anything or a condition that prevents me from sleeping. It 's the fact that I don't want to. I'm afraid of what happens when I sleep. I'm afraid of my dreams. As you are probably well aware I am a highly creative person. While this ability does allow me to do a lot of good like come up with entertaining lines and ideas as well as write some pretty random passages on this blog it also allows me to go to some pretty dark places. When I am conscious I can usually block out the bad thoughts and images but when I am asleep I am helpless to stop it. I've had some pretty upsetting dreams, ones that made me wake up in the middle of the night crying. I have the ability to conjure up some of the most upsetting things that would occur in my life. Yes these are just dreams, but what if these are visions of things to come? What if I am suffering through premonitions of a future yet to come? What if I can't stop it? These are the things that scare me the most.

Chaos begets chaos, and in an effort to drive myself to the edge I am undertaking this experiment to work out some of the issues that have been plaguing me for some time. Every day as I slip further into insanity I hope to explore the very things that are holding me back and preventing me from living a "normal" life and fitting in with the rest of society. I don't expect any change to occur when all is said and done but I do expect to start to deal with this shit which has hindered me for some time. So in essence this really isn't about eating bananas at all; this is about finding the truth and having to face it for the first time in my life. You can't live in a world filled with nonsense and lies. Eventually everything that you have been running from catches up to you, pins you down and wails on you. That's what happens when I sleep. But when I am awake I can fight back. I'm not sure what to do and even if I can win this battle, but I certainly will try. Wait. Yoda said do or do not... there is no try. I will do it.

This is Day 1. Insanity begins here. When I start to lose it in a few days you can trace it back to this starting point. But make sure that you do follow along with me on this blog and on my Twitter account if you want to sit in the sidecar on the descent into utter madness. I have no idea where this is going to end up. All that I know is that if this is anything like my wicked dreams, then buckle up because we're in for one fucked up and terrible ride.

Bananas Consumed: 1 

 - pookon - 

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"7 in 7" - Episode 3 - Now I Know What's It's Like to be You - Day 18

I haven't been writing on here lately and I'm betting some of you have been checking back here looking for my next episode of "7 in 7." The reason that there isn't a new one is because I'm still working on the last one. As you can see by the headline I have been a vegetarian for the past 18 days and aside from a couple of tough times it has been relatively easy to not eat meat. Just look at the cuddly animals and try to take a bite out of them. You can't because they are just so darn cute. I don't like my food to have a face nor do I want it to cry as I am chewing it. Sure, lettuce and potatoes are technically alive but as far as we know it they don't have a personality and look you in the eye and snuggle up next to you. Which makes me wonder something. I get the don't eat cows, pigs, sheep and chickens in the graphic but what kind of sick bastards are eating dogs, cats and parrots? I think foreigners eat dogs and cats but I've never heard of anyone chewing on parrot wings. Must be some kind of delicacy that I'm not aware of. After spending the last 7 years of my life in the company of Coach Gordon Bombay I couldn't imagine putting him in my mouth and washing it down with a cold beer. That just sounds wrong. And even though I'm not a dog person there's no denying that they have a personality and a spirit as well as an awareness of their world. It wouldn't be right to serve that up on a toasty bun, even if they had to go the Old Yeller route. They belong in the ground, not in your tummy. I don't get it, but I did find it funny in a way. And I also knew that I could say something about it. Because that's the point of Episode 1, right? To encourage myself to write more. I'm trying here.

Day 18 of being a vegetarian hasn't changed me one bit because I have gotten behind on my Episode 2 goal of looking like Jonah Hill. I haven't been working out as much as I had hoped and I'm in no better shape than I was a few weeks ago. I guess I'm eating healthier because I'm eating a lot more vegetables and not eating fast food because there aren't a lot of meat-less options. I bet if I met all 3 of my goals so far (writing, look like Jonah Hill and being vegetarian) I could land a chick like Australian model Sheridyn Fisher because I would be funny, fit fine and friend to animals. I think I'm going to email her and ask her out on a date the next time that she makes it to Milwaukee. Hey, it could happen! I'm a quasi-celebrity because of the beer pong documentary and the Brewers Sombrero thing so I should be able to land another celebrity. And an Australian too. The only thing that revs my engine like a girl who plays music and sings is a girl with an accent. I think I'm on to something here. Keep changing my life and somehow, someway, some beautiful girl will wander into my life and erase the loser tag that I've been carrying around for the last 30 years. Dreaming the impossible is definitely a reason to keep on going with my "7 in 7" challenges because apparently no one likes me for who I am now so I must become someone else. I guess I will still try to keep a couple pieces of the old me because I value my sense of humor and my dedication to the local sports teams but everything else can go. So if you are a single girl and reading this give me a holler and tell me what to change. I'm willing to be whatever it is that you like because the old shit wasn't working for you. And if you are a dude and are asking the same thing I'm sorry but I have to tell you for the last time, no matter what everyone is saying, I don't like dudes. Get that idea out of your head already. And whoever keeps spreading that rumor please stop already. You're never going to get anywhere making up lies. Trust me. I'm the lie master! If you asked everyone at work what my parents do for a living they would tell you that my Mom is a Ninja and my Dad is an Astronaut. Is that true? Hell no. Not everything you hear is correct. So stop playing telephone with the accusations and set me up with your hot sister/girl cousin/girl best friend already so we can all move on.

OK, I'll face reality head-on and come to the conclusion that I'll never land a chick like Sheridyn Fisher but don't you dare tell me that I will never land Natalie Portman. Yes, I understand that she is married to some dude not named Scott Reck and she has a baby with said dude. Oh and also don't point out that she is rich, famous, beautiful and an Academy Award winner that would never mingle in the same circles as me. But we are both vegetarians and we both love Star Wars. She might not like Episodes 1-3 (but that's OK because a lot of people despise them) but she can't deny the fact that she made some good money off of those movies and also introduced herself to a new generation of fans and furthered her movie career. She certainly garnered my attention although I fell in love with her on Mars Attacks! and Where the Heart is and then became absolutely smitten with her in Garden State. And the fact that she is a vegetarian just gives her a couple of more points in my book. Now I'm not going to be a veg-head forever, but I like to see it when someone does something for a reason. She's doing it for animal rights and apparently has been a vegetarian since childhood and I'm doing it to know what it's like, although if I ever meet Natalie I'd tell her that I was doing it for her because she is so inspiring. Or some crap like that. I have to be smooth like that if I'm gonna charm her pants off. But I wouldn't have to. She'd get one look at me and leave her husband. She can bring along her baby though. Although I'm not a fan of little humans I'd be willing to make an exception for her. I'd do anything for Natalie.

Eating vegetarian isn't hard as long as you are at home and can control what is going into your food. It has been easy for the most part because I eat most of my meals at home. I don't go out to eat much because I am single, sad, pathetic and weird. But a few times it has become an issue and I'd like to share that with you. My friend Aaron had a birthday last week and his family always goes out to Fuddruckers for dinner to celebrate. I don't know if you've ever been there but they have some of the best burgers ever. But since I don't eat meat I tried one of their Veggie Burgers, which was the first time that I ever had one. It wasn't bad and it kind of tasted like nothing, although I could have been masking the taste with all of the pickles, onions, tomatoes, ketchup and mayonnaise that I piled on there. Hard to taste anything when it is smothered with all of those condom-thingies. My first reaction was that it tasted like a garden but that could have been me just being an asshole about it. And speaking of being an asshole, when I ordered the cashier asked if I wanted bacon or cheese on my veggie burger. Um... hello! Don't people order these things because they don't eat meat or dairy products because they are vegetarian or vegan? I know you're a fresh-faced teen still living with his parents and working his first job but at least think a little pal. I was a little bit offended and even took to Twitter to voice my disgust:

Scott Iceman Reck ‏ @pookondotcom

I ordered a Veggie Burger at Fuddruckers. The guy asked me if I wanted bacon on it. Doesn't that defeat the point? #vegetarian

So that was cool I guess. A week ago I went out for trivia at BBC's and it was wing night but I obviously could not get the wings. That really sucked and I ended up eating some Mac N' Cheese but I had to ask them not to put bacon in it like they usually do. Sure bacon is amazing, but wouldn't someone order that because they don't eat meat? It was one of the only meatless options on the menu (supposedly) and it had bacon. It's a tough world for a veggie. Then this past Thursday I went to Subway for a sandwich and ended up getting a one with all veggies. Now I understand that a sammy is a sammy but I left feeling empty. I had cheese, lettuce, onion, tomato, green peppers, cucumber and mayo but I could taste the absence of meat. I wanted some kind of animal product on my bread but I'm not doing that now. Not eating meat is tough because it is so good. I miss it and now that I'm in over 2 weeks I can honestly say that it is a struggle. 

The first week was easy and I breezed through it with no problem. I know that I'm all over the map here as far as linear time goes, but last Saturday night I went to the Admirals hockey game with my cousins and got nice and drunk. I slept over at Jenny Reck's house and when I finally left Sunday around lunch time I was craving something greasy to get me through my hangover. A gyro from Oakland Gyros would have fit the bill just right. I could even smell it from outside her house but I drove home without any of that Greek goodness in my tummy. The last challenge I had these past 18 days was when I was at the grocery store the other day trying to find some food to eat. I wanted some soup real bad and had to read all of the ingredients on the can because most soups include chicken broth or chicken stock. I had to instead limit myself to those that were tomato based soups and settled on veggie soup. It's not all bad, but I was really in the mood for some kind of noodle soup.

So I'm 18 days in and not too much is different. I'm still pining over impossible women, constantly poking fun at myself and defending my sexuality and trying to infuse everything I say with humor. If you made it this far congratulations. I will be starting a new challenge on Wednesday March 14 so make sure you check back for that one. I can't really promise anything else besides that because I don't really know what I want to do. Well, besides Natalie Portman. Hey-o! You thought that I would leave on a classy high note. You obviously have no idea where you are. Seek medical help, take a nap and then come on back so I can screw you up all over again. At least you will be in good company. I'm as screwed up as they get. But I know that you wouldn't have it any other way. You're a repeat offender on Pookon's Ill Blog so I know that something is working. When I figure it out I'll be sure to let you know. Or I won't. Whatever man. I'm over it. Derrick Turnbow once threw a fastball so fast it went back in time and struck out Babe Ruth. Look it up.

g

 - pookon -
d
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"7 in 7" - Episode 3 - Now I Know What's It's Like to be You - Day 1

This week's adventure wasn't planned which is what makes it so good. I'm going to be a vegetarian for a week. I have a list of things that I want to try as part of this series and I keep coming up with new things all the time that pique my interest. And ever since week 1 when I turned off distractions and learned better time management, my mind has been clear enough to allow new ideas and suggestions to enter it. This particular one came to me Saturday February 11th when Jenny and I were at the Milwaukee Bucks game. I had won 2 tickets to the Miller Lite Home Court on Bucks.com and we got to watch the game from the box on the club level, 3 free beers and free food and snacks. That's us in the background of this lovely picture of a father taking his daughter to a basketball game. They didn't take a picture of us. Jenny has been a vegetarian for almost a year now but for most of her life she has been picky on the kinds of meat she liked and rarely ate red meat. There haven't always been the best options for her and she really had to be creative at times when we went to get something to eat. And although things are getting better in stores and restaurants, things are still tough for a vegetarian in a meat eater's world. The only thing she could eat there was cheese pizza and chocolate chip cookies while I was chowing down on a hotdog, pepperoni pizza and popcorn chicken. As I dipped some chicken in ranch and popped it into my mouth I said to Jenny something like this - "I don't know how you do it. I could never give up meat. Chicken is just too good." And that is when she challenged me to try not eating meat. So here is where I hope to know what it's like to be her. At least when it comes to her chosen vegetarian lifestyle.

Tonight, Wednesday February 22 we went to the grocery store to buy some things to put together a dinner with no meat. Jenny had some fake meat crumbles that resembles ground beef and we decided to make some sloppy joes. We mixed in some red and green peppers and some onions. We also had a salad with lettuce and spinach with carrots, onions and peppers mixed it. I looked up a couple of recipes and realized I didn't have a whole lot of time to prep or cook for dinner tonight. So I'm going to save that for another night this week. So if you're reading this and have a good vegetarian recipe that I should try out please send it my way. You know how to reach me. Fake meat sloppy joes and salad was a really easy thing to throw together which goes to show that it isn't that hard to live a certain lifestyle whether if you are doing it for a week to try it out or if you are doing it to Rage for Timmy. If it is something that you believe in for any reason you will find a way to do it. Sticking to it may be a whole lot harder then just doing it for a few days but I'll probably figure that out in a few more days. 

Jenny said that there is a world of difference between eating vegetarian and eating healthy. Just because you cut out meat doesn't mean that you cut out all the bad things for you. So before you think that this has anything to do with health that's not why I'm doing it. Although I could stand to eat more fruits and vegetables to supplement my diet. Case in point - we are potato chips with our dinner tonight. Jenny warned to go easy on the carbs and cheese because when you aren't eating meat you tend to try to get nutrients from other sources that aren't as good for you or contain higher amounts of bad things that raise your cholesterol levels. I'd try and sound smart about health and nutrition but I'm not a doctor. Even though I have been watching nothing but Scrubs for the last few days. Eventually I'm bound to pick up something other than asshole rants and where to go in my head when I need to escape it. But it's not getting in the way of my writing, working out or playing guitar. I did all of three of them tonight. So don't worry that all that work I put in during weeks 1 and 2 is going to waste right now. This is intended to be a continuing adventure and be able to flow freely from week to week and if I keep this sort of thing up there is no reason to believe the I can't change my life for the better. Because after all that's really the reason why I'm doing this.

So much was made about former Milwaukee Brewers' 1st baseman Prince Fielder's decision to go vegetarian. He did it because his wife shared with him pictures and information on the treatment of animals that are used for food. I'm not gonna get into that because I'd like to eat steak, bacon and chicken wings without crying and hating myself. When Fielder went veggie people went crazy because they thought he's see a drop in power due to him not getting enough protein and other crap that you get from eating animals. And after a while of not eating meat people were surprised that he didn't lose any weight or build any muscle. I used to kid people that I knew the reason for it - doughnuts and Twinkies are still vegetarian. I kid the big man but only because I love him so much. I haven't really gotten into it yet but I'm gonna miss seeing the man in a Brewers uniform. Best of luck in Detroit pal. This is not the time nor place for this but all I'm saying is don't expect me to get in better shape by dropping the meat for a week. It doesn't work like that. But I have made a concentrated effort to cut back on the booze, snacks and sweets so if I drop a couple of lbs then it's because of that. Oh, and going to the gym probably will have something to do with it too. Weight doesn't lose itself. Damn I wish it was that easy.

If you want to give me shit because I'm doing this for the wrong reasons then fine. If you want to praise me for trying something new then fine. If you want to do nothing then fine. All I know is that I'm living my life, trying new things and having a hell of a good time while doing it. Truth be told I've never felt better. But I still know that there is so much more to look forward to and every day presents a brand new adventure. And I'd rather feel like that then how I've been feeling over the past year. No one should ever feel like that. Things will never be the same but there is no reason to sit around and wallow in it any longer. Life goes on and so must I. Meat or no meat. But I swear to God if I smell bacon I will drop any plans that I had to go a week or more without meat and go swimming in it like Uncle Scrooge. 

 - pookon -

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