I'm going to try and keep this brief because in reality, I prefer boxers. Get it? That's underwear humor. Nothing but high class here folks. But I already started out with a lie because I don't wear boxers or briefs. But before you get those sick thoughts in your head about me going commando, I wear boxer-briefs. The give you the support of briefs but the coverage of boxers. Wait... why I am discussing what kind of underwear that I uhh... wear? Certainly there are better ways that I can waste your time right now like talking about the 2013 starting pitching staff. There is enough to talk about but like always, I will try not to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and... well you get the point. I have a brevity problem and there is no cause to believe that it will ever get any better. Speaking of brevity, the starting pitching this year struggled to go deep into games and not a one of them managed to top 200 innings this year (although Lohse came the closest at 198.2 innings pitched). That's pretty much the gold standard for an innings eater and if you manage to hit that mark, that means that you lasted long enough in each start, which also means that you kept your team in the game. At the end of the day, isn't that all you ask of your starting pitching staff?
Every team can't have an Ace. For every Felix Hernandez and Clayton Kershaw, there are a dozen Bronson Arroyos and Marco Estradas. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with pitchers that have a career ERA hovering around 4 with a lifetime .500 record. You need those guys. But they are really a dime a dozen. Or 12 for 10 cents, depending on where you shop. The Brewers didn't have an Ace. One could argue that they didn't even really have a #1 pitcher because Gallardo wasn't very consistent and Lohse lacks the shutdown stuff that could dominate an opposing offense. The Starting Pitching wasn't that bad in 2013 but to be quite honest with you, it wasn't that good either. In the NL, the Brewers starters ranked 11th out of 15 teams, which makes the team record of 74-88 understandable. The game begins and ends with pitching and the starters get to set the tone. There was plenty to be excited about but there are also a couple of things that need work in order for this team to be competitive again. And it all starts with pitching. That is the most important aspect of any baseball team. How many Brewers teams have we seen set the World on fire with a top 3 offense that crushes homeruns and scores a million runs? Well none of that means jack shit if they can't keep the other team off the board. How did the 2013 Starting Pitching staff fare at keeping the other team off the board? Wouldn't you like to know...
Kyle Lohse #26, SP
2013 Prediction: 15-8 record, 3.54 ERA, 32 starts, 203 innings pitched, 140 strikeouts and nowhere near as bad as Suppan but not as good as he was last year.
2013 Actual: 11-10 record, 3.35 ERA, 32 starts, 198.2 innings pitched, 125 strikeouts and the best and most consistent starter the Brewers had. Sure it was only 1 year, but he helped to ease the post-Cardinals worry.
When the Brewers signed Kyle Lohse on March 25 with just 1 week to go until the regular season started, most people saw it as a panic move by the owner Mark Attanasio. GM Doug Melvin seemed content to go into the season with Gallardo, Estrada and whomever else filled in the blanks after that. But the owner has the money and he makes the rules. When he says sign a guy, you sign a guy or else walk the plank. You don't argue with the Boss unless you want him to take you into the boardroom and tell you like it is. So all the sudden you added $12 million to the payroll but more importantly, signed a pitcher with a pretty good recent track record. So why the hesitation? Why did a player of his caliber last so long in free agency? His asking price was high, he was looking for a 3-4 year contract, he was 34-years old, would require the team he signed with to lose a draft pick and most importantly, he was a former St. Louis Cardinal. That hasn't worked out so well in the past for Milwaukee. Jeff Suppan or Braden Looper ring a bell? So there was some worry going into the season that he would be awful. You could say my expectations were pretty damn low. So maybe that's why I really liked Kyle Lohse this year. He turned into the most consistent pitcher on the roster, nearly threw 200 innings, made 32 starts and even threw 2 complete games. He did everything right and emerged as a real leader on this team. Reports started to trickle out about how much leadership he was bringing to the team and how much of a positive influence he had on the younger players, especially on the pitching staff. That was a very important thing considering that after May the Brewers were out of it and playing for the future. Would I pay someone $12 million a year to essentially play teacher? No. If Melvin knew that the Brewers would suffer injuries and have an awful year in Spring Training, would he still have signed Lohse? Hell no. A 74 win team doesn't need an expensive pitcher headlining their rotation. The real question is what will he do in 2014 when the Brewers are back at full strength. We'll know the answer to that very soon you little bastards.
Wily Peralta #60, SP
2013 Prediction: 12-8 record, 3.53 ERA, 30 starts, 150 innings pitched, 145 strikeouts and the key that unlocks the starting rotation and also to... A NEW CAR!!!
2013 Actual: 11-15 record, 4.37 ERA, 32 starts, 183.1 innings pitched, 129 strike outs and probably one of the biggest reasons why the Brewers sank instead of swam in 2013.
Wily Peralta was the key that had to turn the engine if the car was going to start. So what happened in 2013? The car refused to turn over. Just like my ex-wife. But unlike my ex-wife (who doesn't exist... yet), Wily Peralta has a future. My ex-wife might end up as a 3rd rate prostitute or a ditch digger (the World does need ditch diggers too!) but Peralta could end up as a solid #2 pitcher of even a borderline #1 if he pitches like he did in the 2nd half of the year. One of the benefits of having a bad year is that Peralta got to stay in the starting rotation. If they were anywhere near .500, I can almost guarantee you Wily would have been sent down to the Minors and not given the opportunity to mature at the Major League level. This will no doubt help him going forward and I'm already convinced that the 2nd half of the season was the real deal and not some kind of fluke. And you want to know the biggest contributor to his turnaround? The one and only Mighty Martin Maldonado. Sometimes the catcher doesn't get a whole lot of credit. The catcher does as much if not more studying and planning for their opponents as the pitcher does. But we're not here to talk about them. Fuck them. They had their moment in the spotlight. When you look at Peralta's numbers, they don't really jump off of the page. For most of the season his ERA was above 6 and he was statistically the worst starting pitcher in all of baseball with enough innings to qualify for that dubious award.
But numbers aren't everything. If they were than you wouldn't have quotes like this from the always entertaining Lou Pinella, “Statistics are like bikinis—they show a lot but not everything.” You need more than the numbers on the page to judge Wily Peralta. That's where the good ol' fashioned eye test comes in handy. I spy with my little blue eye one hell of a pitcher if he puts it all together. See, Wily has a little problem. When he gives up a walk, or gets behind a batter, or gives up a few hits in a row, he tends to fall apart and lose all control. That's where Maldonado comes in. When he sees Wily get all flustered, he walks out to the mound and calms him down. It works and Peralta gets back to throwing the heat. If he can avoid the blowout, he's going to be one hell of a pitcher. He was one of the reasons why the Brewers were terrible in 2013. A team is only as good as their pitching staff. But he will also be one of the biggest reasons why they could potentially be pretty damn good in 2014. Time will tell on that one, but from what I saw from Wily Peralta in 2013 and all of the struggles that he went through, I know that he is going to be a better pitcher because of it.
Yovani Gallardo #49, SP
2013 Prediction: 19-10 record, 3.36 ERA, 33 starts, 212 innings pitched, 203 strikeouts, .214 batting average, 2 HRs, 10 RBIs and a one sided (because of the restraining order) bestest of best friendships where I wish he would give me a new nickname and we could have sleepovers.
2013 Actual: 12-10 record, 4.18 ERA, 31 starts, 180.2 innings pitched, 144 strikeouts, .211 batting average, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs and not enough cocktails to forget the memory of his worst season.
I love Yovani Gallardo. Let's make that perfectly clear. He's a Mexican, I'm a Born-Again Mexican. We need to stick together to ensure the continuation of our race, traditions and heritage. But he had a rough year on and off the field in 2013 and I'm sure he would like to try to forget about it and move on. His first 3 starts were awful and he had a 6.61 ERA (Earned Run Average) which might have led to his 0.22 BAC (Blood Alcohol Content). Gallardo took out his frustrations with one too many cervezas at Leff's Lucktown on April 16th and was arrested and charged with a DUI. I don't really want to linger on this for too long because everyone has made a mistake. I've driven drunk plenty of times. I'm not proud of it. I just never got caught and I'm lucky I never hurt myself or someone else. So I'm not going to judge. Only God can do that. The only other thing I'm going to say about this is that when you're a public figure, and grown men and children idolize you and consider you a role model, you have a certain responsibility to not let them down. I'm the first one to say that you shouldn't idolize celebrities and athletes (not all of them are bad but there are tons of people who are more worthy of your adoration) but that's the way our society is. Always has been. Me? I idolize my Mother. She's such an amazing person who has been through some real shit in her life and has had the strength and trust in her faith to pull through. On top of that she is always there when I need her and is the absolute definition of a hero. She's rescued me more times than I can count. Even though she's definitely worth my time to talk about, this is supposed to be about Gallardo. There will be another time and place to talk about my Mother.
Shit. Where were we? Oh yeah, 2013. I'm sure Gallardo would like to forget about what he did on the field, or at least the first half of it. He's as much to blame as everyone else for this team tanking it in May because as the #1 pitcher (the staff ace), it is his responsibility to stop losing streaks. He made 5 starts from May 4th - 26th and the Brewers lost all 5 of those games with Gallardo personally getting the loss in 4 of them. That's hardly #1 worthy. There's been enough debate locally and nationally about Gallardo being an Ace (he isn't) and even if he is a #1 pitcher (he is). When he's got his stuff working and he's pitching with confidence he's outstanding. After the All-Star break he had a 3.09 ERA and over his last 8 starts he was 4-1 with a 2.41 ERA. I'm encouraged by his rebound because I know what kind of pitcher that he can be. The only real troubling thing was that his velocity was down and he struggled to throw 93-94 MPH. He was throwing 90-91 tops. Now that may not seem like a big difference to you and me, but when trying to strike out batters it makes a huge difference. As you can see, his strikeout totals were WAAAAAAAAY down (144 strikeouts in 180 innings versus averaging 204 strikeouts in 195 innings over the past 4 seasons) but I'm willing to accept that if it means he's pitching more to contact and going deeper into games. That wasn't the case because he missed 2 starts due to injury and averaged 6 innings per game. In 6 games he pitched 7 innings and only pitched 8 innings once. This was statistically the worst year of his career with an ERA of 4.18, WHIP (walk and hits per inning pitched) of 1.36, batting average against of .261, strikeouts (144) and wins (12). It was just a bad year for the Milwaukee Brewers and Yovani Gallardo was no exception. Time to move on.
Marco Estrada #41, SP
2013 Prediction: 9-13 record, 4.05 ERA, 30 starts, 165 innings pitched, 170 strikeouts and even if I was his bank I still wouldn't give him enough credit no matter how much equity he has gained through smart investments and an improved portfolio.
2013 Actual: 7-4 record, 3.87 ERA, 21 starts, 128 innings pitched, 118 strikeouts and I don't know how many times I can continue to say it until you, Doug Melvin and Ron Roenicke believe it, but fills a better hole in the Bullpen than in the Starting Rotation.
I've just about had it with Marco Estrada as a starting pitcher even though he does one very important thing - he throws strikes. Marco hates walking a batter like he hates disappointing his wife in the bedroom. The problem with him though is when he does walk a batter, it ends up hurting him when the next guy hits a homerun. And when he disappoints his wife, he ends up sleeping on the couch in the Den. Since he doesn't screw around and nibble at the corners (he goes right for the prize, something his wife really enjoys), he ends up getting a ton of strikeouts but he also gives up a ton of homeruns. He also seems to really break down the 3rd time through the lineup (around the 5th or 6th inning) and gives up 4-5 runs in one inning when he only gave up 1 through the first 5. Being a flyball pitcher and making half of his starts in hitter friendly Miller Park doesn't work out too well, as opposing batters tee off against him. He was also injured with a bad hamstring and sat out for a good two months. For those reasons, I can't in all good faith allow him to be a starting pitcher anymore. But for some strange reason, GM Doug Melvin is really in love with Estrada (his wife must be really really good to everyone if you know what I mean) and he will forever be a starting pitcher unless he's absolutely horrible or no longer on this team. I have no problem penciling him in and giving him a shot to earn it, but every year it looks like Melvin and Roenicke write his name in with pen every 5th day. I'm not sold on it and I probably will never be. I can't find a picture of Jenai Estrada on the internet but I know I've seen her around the ballpark during those Player's Wives Charity events, and I will say she's a hooker. I meant a looker! She's a looker! Don't kick my ass Marco. Although I will let Jenai do it... I'm in to that sort of thing. I'm a sick bastard.
Tom Gorzelanny #32, SP/RP
2013 Prediction: 4-2 record, 79 innings pitched, 2 starts, 67 strikeouts and the best half human/half alien hybrid since Lt. Ellen Ripley in Alien Resurrection.
2013 Actual: 3-6 record, 3.90 ERA, 85.1 innings pitched, 10 games started, 83 strikeouts and a good piece of the bullpen that pleased the evil overlord of his home plant Gortazelot.
No offense to the Gorzelanny species (I don't want the Mothership to fire down lasers upon my homestead or worse - abduct me and my family and probe us for fun/research) but if got 10 starts, then you know that it was a bad year for the Brewers. They didn't sign him to be a starting pitcher but he has enough experience in that department to make a couple of spot starts in case of injury, double headers or rain delays. He was supposed to be a veteran lefthander in the bullpen and also be the long man. You need both of those on any successful team. But those are the kind of guys you count on when you have extra inning games or when your starter gives up 7 runs in the first two innings and you don't want to burn your bullpen. But do you really want him starting? Maybe in 2007 when he was 14-10 with a 3.88 ERA in 32 starts. That was his best year as a starter. In the past couple of years he has found a lot of success as a reliever and it is a shame that he couldn't stay that way in 2013. But shit happens, injuries happen and sometimes "oops we're pregnant!" happens. Shit has happened to me, injury has happened to me but so far (at least to my knowledge) "oops we're pregnant!" hasn't happened to me. But I kind of want it to. How fucked up is that? That's like your #1 fear when you are 22. But now that I'm 32, I kind of feel like I should be starting a family like everyone else my age but I haven't found the girl yet. There's so many places she can hide. Sadly I've had "oops all berries" happen to me plenty of times though. Sometimes Captain Crunch takes shore leave and all you're left with are the berries. It could be worse though. I'm not really sure how at this moment but I'm sure that I could figure it out if I had more time. But I don't. Moving on. There's not much else to say about Gorzelanny. He was solid but only got that many starts because something went horribly wrong. That about sums up the 2013 season.
Donovan Hand #48, SP/RP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 1-5 record, 3.69 ERA, 68.1 innings pitched, 39 games, 7 starts, 37 strikeouts and a good sport considering all of the puns that were Handed his way.
I have nothing against Donovan, but you really have to Hand it to him in 2013 - he did a pretty good job. His record doesn't show it (which is why it can often be a meaningless stat) but he did the best with what was Handed to him. He took what was considered a Hand me down role and really Handmade it into a nice little example of the pitcher that he is and the pitcher that he can be. I'm sorry for all the Hand puns, but when you're not a very Handsome guy, you need to rely on something else (like your sense of humor) to attract attention. Donovan did a pretty good job in 2013 when you consider that he wasn't even on the radar. Due to injuries and poor performance he got his shot with the 2013 Brewers. One could say that he was misHandled this year when he was Handpicked by Roenicke to be a starter because he was primarily a reliever in his Minor League career. Roenicke must have had some firstHand knowledge that Donovan would excel in the role. But he made the best of the situation and never expected a Handout and came out with Handguns blazing. But I kind of feel like he got backHanded by most fans who only look at the 1-5 record and didn't appreciate his Handywork. Is Donovan Hand a great pitcher? No. He's just a farmHand trying to earn his keep in the big leagues. But is he awful? Of course not. But someday he might have to turn to panHandling in order to make some money because I don't think he'll have a long and prosperous Major League career. He's just a guy. Since it is February as I am typing, the Handwriting is already on the wall as far as his future with the Brewers goes. He might catch on with someone else as a Handmaiden, StageHand or a Handyman, but I just hope he doesn't succumb to a life of crime to pay the bills and ends up getting Handcuffed, tossed in jail and forced to wear a Handstamp of "criminal" for the rest of his days. If I ever see him again I will give him a Handshake for sticking in there during a tough 2013 and offer to give him a ride somewhere on the Handlebars of my bike. I just hope he has a good sense of humor with me using all of these Hand puns. The last thing I want is for him to beat me senseless with his bare Hands. He would manHandle me. No one wants to live out their remaining years being Handicapped. Although the parking privileges would be pretty nice. Well the Handbells are ringing which means it's time to turn the page. Time for him to Handoff the ball to someone else. Was that too much to Handle? Here, have a Summer SHandy from Leinenkugal's. It's Handcrafted by the hard working brewers in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. That'll help you relax and think Summer. I've had enough of the baseball talk for today. All you really need is a Handful anyway. I'm going to sit back and watch a movie, perhaps Idle Hands, Cool Hand Luke or The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. OK. I'm done. So much for going by the Handbook, right?
Johnny Hellweg #40, SP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 1-4 record, 6.75 ERA, 30.2 innings pitched, 7 starts, 9 strikeouts and hopefully a forgettable 2013 despite making his Major League debut, getting his first Win and enjoying a very good year in the Minors.
Most people don't know much about Johnny Hellweg (who also came to the Brewers in the Zack Greinke trade to the Anaheim Angels in 2012) because Jean Segura has been outstanding. Segura alone has made it a great moves by GM Doug Melvin, but if Hellweg evolves into a front line starter it could be one of his best trades ever. It will be hard to top the big ones - the Richie Sexson trade to Arizona in 2003 had an incredible fallout, getting CC Sabathia from the Indians in 2008 which led to the Brewers' first playoff appearance since 1982 and getting Zack Greinke in 2010 from the Royals which helped them win the NL Central in 2011 and make it all the way to the NLCS. Since Segura and Hellweg will be under team control for the next 4-5 years at minimal cost, it makes the future really bright as opposed to the Sabathia and Greinke trades which were the final pieces which put them into the playoffs. But Hellweg has a long way to go before he can live up to the high bar which Segura set and unless there are multiple injuries in 2014, he might have to wait another year. He's high on the prospect list and he had a really good Minor League year in 2013 (13-5 record, 3.14 ERA, 131.2 innings pitched, 24 starts and 93 strikeouts) but he's low on the Major League depth chart. The one positive spin that you can put on a tough 2013 that saw everyone land on the DL and the team out of it in May was that plenty of players got a chance to make their Major League debut. Hopefully Hellweg learned something from it despite some pretty disastrous results (in his first start he went 1 2/3 innings and gave up 7 runs. Yikes). He's on the radar for sure. He earned that much. I just hope that he goes out and has a spectacular Spring Training in 2014 and kicks so much ass in the Minor Leagues that he forces the big league club to make some pretty tough decisions. I like the Kyle Lohses and Matt Garzas of the World, but I'm a bigger fan of the Gallardos, Peraltas and Hellwegs. I like young pitchers with a big upside. When was the last time we had a young pitcher come up to the Majors and dominate? Every other team seems to be able to do it. I thought Hellweg would be ours. Not this year. Better luck next time pal.
Tyler Thornburg #30, SP/RP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 3-1 record, 2.03 ERA, 18 games, 7 starts 66.2 innings pitched, 48 strikeouts and hopefully proved to the Management that they should stop Tyler Thornburg-ing him.
Every so often there is that player that the Brewers just screw with. Is he a starter? Is he a reliever? Is he in AAA? Is he in the Majors? Is he black? Is he white? Is he your friend? Is he your enemy? Do I care? Do you care? I do. You should. You know how every other team rolls out rookie starters and they succeed? Do you often wonder why we can't do that? That's because we pull the plug on them too soon. So Thornburg had a bad Major League debut pitching 5 innings and giving up 5 runs (4 of which were home runs). Big deal. That's no excuse to mess with him. He got 1 more start in July and 1 in October. In between that he was bounced around all over the place. He was a starter in the Minors (66 of his 69 games were as a starter) so if you're going to bring him up to the Majors, why try to make him do something he's never done? Way to put him in a position to succeed pal. But that was 2012. What happened in 2013? He was awful at AAA Nashville (0-9 record, 5.79 ERA in 15 starts), but then again who wasn't awful at AAA? So I can see the hesitation with promoting him to the big leagues. But in 2013 they did simply out of necessity. Someone had to take the mound and pitch. Injuries and ineffectiveness gave everyone a shot, and luckily for Thornburg he was granted another chance. He was a pretty good reliever (1-0 record, 3.04 ERA in 23.2 innings) but once he was put back in the starter's role where he belonged, he thrived with a 2-1 record, 1.47 ERA in 7 starts, 43 innings. How he had a 5.79 ERA in the Minors and a 1.47 ERA in the Majors I'll never know. The only thing I know is that you can see what he's done as a starter, so why mess with him? Because he's a toy to GM Doug Melvin and Manager Ron Roenicke. And you tinker with toys. How long with this playtime go on? Probably until they get bored and throw him away. What a shame. We really could have had something here but something tells me he's not going to get much of a shot to start in 2014 unless something goes horribly wrong. And in that case, does it even matter?
Hiram Burgos #46, SP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 1-2 record, 6.44 ERA, 6 starts, 29.1 innings pitched, 18 strikeouts and mostly forgotten despite being one of the better pitchers in the Minor League system.
Hiram Burgos could have had a huge year with the Brewers if not for a shoulder injury that landed him on the DL on May 24th and kept him out for the rest of the year. If you weren't paying attention during the 2013 season you can at least tell by the amount of players featured in this article that just about every pitcher was given a chance in the starting rotation. Burgos was drafted in 2009 and has some good Minor League numbers (28-26 record, 3.64 ERA, 79 starts, 497 innings pitched and 427 strikeouts) but he really turned heads and shot up the depth chart in 2012 when he went 10-4 with a 1.95 ERA in 27 starts, 171 innings pitched and 153 strikeouts in a season that saw him go from single A Brevard County Manatees to the AA Huntsville Stars to the AAA Nashville Sounds. The icing on the cake was his performance with Puerto Rico in the 2013 World Baseball Classic. He was phenomenal as a reliever as he had a 1-0 record, 0.69 ERA, 13 innings pitched in 3 games with 12 strikeouts. I was watching the telecasts and the announcers couldn't stop salivating over how much they loved his stuff. He was dominating the International competition and one of the big reasons Puerto Rico made it to the Championship game. I was expecting big things from him this season and I pretty much lost my shit when he was called up in late April and made his Major League debut on 4/20 (nooch). I had his back the whole time and was talking mad shit about him and he didn't really come through for me. And then he got injured and people pretty much forgot about him. He's probably not going to be on the 2014 team but will be waiting in the wings in the Minors alongside Johnny Hellweg. But who knows? Anything can happen. All it takes is one injury or string of poor performances for him to get another shot. He's still in their long terms plans and I'll still support him no matter what.
Alfredo Figaro #45, SP/RP
2013 Prediction: 2-2 record, 3.51 ERA, 68 innings pitched, 50 strikeouts and so much more than a cheesy sauce that you put over pasta for a delicious meal.
2013 Actual: 3-3 record, 4.14 ERA, 74 innings pitched, 33 games, 5 starts, 54 strikeouts and loved/reviled on the Brewers postgame show on Sportsradio 1250 because of the operatic "Figaro" sound byte.
I tried to find the audio file of the operatic "Figaro" bit that they play on the Postgame show, but I couldn't locate it. And I can't do any more work that is preventing me from posting this. It's already February 22nd as I am writing this, which puts us at 37 days until Opening Day. Pitchers and catchers have already reported to Spring Training and everyone and their Mom is talking about the 2014 season. So why am I still stuck on this 2013 recap? Because fuck it. That's why. But it's really because I didn't start writing this in October of 2013 and also because I write waaaaaaaaaay too much. That's one of the reasons why I'm probably not going to be doing a 2014 preview, but I might change my mind when I get down to Spring Training in mid-March. But I'll cover that later. Figaro was decent this year but ultimately breaks down into just being an average pitcher. At 30 years old he's no longer a prospect but he's still relatively young by experience and has only logged 105 innings in the Major Leagues, with 74 of them coming in 2013. He throws pretty hard (94-95 mph) and has a pretty good curveball, but I just can't get too excited about him. Now don't get me wrong, I love alfredo. Especially over fettuccine noodles with some grilled chicken. But I don't love Alfredo. To me he is just another guy. He wouldn't have pitched this year if it wasn't for the team's poor performance. How many times have you heard me say that about several pitchers? Good God! I've been sayin' it. I've been sayin' it for ten damn years. Ain't I been sayin' it, Miguel? Yeah, I've been sayin' it. You read my mind! We gotta get as far away from these things as we can! Alright you alien assholes! In the words of my generation - UP YOURS!! I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking... As you can see I've taken to quoting the great Russel Casse (Randy Quaid in Independence Day) so that should tell you that I've run out of things to say about Alfredo Figaro. When they took him up in the spaceship, the aliens abused him. Sexually. They've got bigger fish to fry now, believe you me. And so do I.
Mike Fiers #64, SP
2013 Prediction: 10-13 record, 4.21 ERA, 145 innings pitched 131 strikeouts and a hybrid of last year now that teams have figured him out but he'll still have some good gas mileage as the #5 starter.
2013 Actual: 1-4 record, 7.25 ERA, 22.1 innings pitched, 11 games, 3 starts, 15 strikeouts and hopefully good Minor League depth and not just a fiery flash in the pan.
Fiers was one of the big surprises in 2012 and along with Wily Peralta and Mark Rogers that year made it look like young pitching could finally anchor the Milwaukee Brewers for the foreseeable future. 2013 proved that young pitching and prospects are very volatile until they put it all together and stay consistent. Fiers fooled everyone in the first half of 2012 and in the last 2 months of the season everyone figured him out. I'm not saying that he's a bad pitcher, but he relies more on control and deception because he doesn't have flat out good power stuff like Peralta. So what happened to him? He just didn't have it in the few opportunities that he had at the Major League level. He gave up a ton of earned runs (18 in 22 innings) and just wasn't the same. He was sent down the Minors to work on his stuff and was actually doing quite well (1-2 record, 2.86 ERA, 34.2 innings pitched in 6 starts) before breaking his right (throwing) arm after being stuck by a line drive hit on June 15th. He was out for the rest of the season and like many other players on this team, he probably would like to forget about 2013. I'm hoping he can provide some good Minor League depth going forward because he did show some promise in 2012. I'm just hoping he doesn't become one of those "whatever happened to that guy?" guys. We've had far too many of them.
Jimmy Nelson #52, SP
2013 Prediction: N/A
2013 Actual: 0-0 record, 0.90 ERA, 10 innings pitched, 1 start, 4 games, 8 strikeouts and will someday put the Full Nelson on opposing batters.
Nelson is now the Brewers' top prospect. I have faith in the Minor League system, but when your best up and coming guy has a career Minor League line of 26-27 with a 3.52 ERA, something is wrong. That or the rest of your top prospects are already playing for the big league club and the cupboards are bare. "You ain't got nobody left Taylor! You're old Mother Hubbard and only Vaughn's in the cupboard!" That's the 2nd Randy Quaid reference. Can there possibly be one more laying in the weeds? We'll see... We only got a glimpse of Nelson because he only made 1 start and pitched a total of 10 innings in 4 games. It was good that they brought him up in September to get a taste of the Major Leagues and although it was a very small sample size, he did perform very well. He struck out 8 batters in 10 innings and only gave up 1 run. When all of the other pitchers made their Major League debuts (like Tyler Thornburg, Hiram Burgos and Johnny Hellweg for example) they fell flat on their faces. It was refreshing to see someone have some success for a change, especially when that person is touted as their top prospect. He didn't get nearly enough playing time to convince anyone that he is ready for the big leagues but he's still only 24 years old. There's plenty of time and room to grow so he'll probably get some more time to mature in the Minors. But it was nice to be able to see him pitch this year. That's one of the few nice things that I can say about the 2013 season. It gave a couple of these young guys a chance to get their feet wet in a no pressure environment. Hopefully he was able to work out the kinks and butterflies, because hopefully the next time he toes the rubber at Miller Park it will be in a high pressure situation.
Chris Narverson #38, SP
2013 Prediction: 4-5 record, 4.45 ERA, 15 starts mostly in the last few months, a difficult adjustment to the bullpen but still the scurviest scallywag on the team.
2013 Actual: 0-0 record, 0.00 ERA, 2 innings pitched, 2 games played and took it upon himself to jump ship before he was forced to walk the plank.
Chris Narveson missed the majority of 2012 after tearing a muscle in his shoulder. He was slated for the starting rotation in 2013 but then was moved to the bullpen when Kyle Lohse was signed. The team said it was a precautionary move to ease him back in after missing so much time. He didn't have a great Spring Training but I thought he would be alright in the bullpen because of prior experience there. And who knows what would have happened in 2013. We only know what did happen in 2013. On April 8th after making only 2 appearances, he went on the DL with a sprained finger on his pitching hand. He struggled down in the Minor Leagues while rehabbing his finger and building up stamina (4-7 record, 5.14 ERA, 77 innings pitched in 15 starts) and pitched himself off of the 40-man roster in late June which killed his chances for pitching for the Brewers again in 2013. In mid-August he was placed on the AAA DL with a nerve issue which pretty much ended his chances for pitching with the Brewers ever again. He became a free agent at the end of the season and did not resign with the team. I really liked the scurvy Narv-dog but I gotta say it like it is - he's really no better than an average #4 or #5 starter. Other guys that could possibly be on future teams like Jimmy Nelson, Johnny Hellweg, Hiram Burgos and Tyler Thornburg just have more upside with the potential to be solid #3's or even #2 pitchers in this rotation. Now I don't know about you, but if I was GM I would rather roll the dice with inexperienced pitchers in the #4 and #5 spots in the rotation that could potentially make your starting pitching staff amazing. Of course those same pitchers could also sink your ship if they take on too much cannon fire. I would rather roll the dice and take a chance. The high risk to get a high reward is what this team needs to make the playoffs. Just being good won't do it. They need to be great. Chris Narveson was a good pitcher. But he will never be great. I sure will miss the Old Salty Sea Dog. Geeeeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrggghhhh matey! May your compass always point North and you find your buried treasure someday. Every one deserves a little booty. Or a big booty if you're in to that sort of thing.
Mark Rogers #37, SP
2013 Prediction: N/A. Unfortunately I think his days as a member of the Brewers are over because if he doesn't have his velocity, what does he have? Hopefully a smokin' hot wife...
2013 Actual: Nothing. Nada. Zip. Nonexistent. Diddly. Zero. Zilch. Naught. Goose Egg. Nothingness. And he doesn't even have a smokin' hot wife.
It's hard to give up on a #1 draft pick. I get that. Anyone that is drafted really high (5th overall pick in the 2004 draft) is supposed to be one of the top young prospects. But there has to be a time when a prospect elevates themselves to quality if not good Major League player. If they don't it's time to kick them to the curb buster! Rogers finally pitched in in late 2012 and seemed to be a piece of the puzzle for the 2013 team. But then he struggled in Spring Training, started the season the DL with shoulder instability. His velocity had dropped like the Titanic (what? too soon?) and he would only throw 22 innings in the Minors in 2013. After that it was like see you later baby! His career has been speckled by injury and since homegrown pitching has been so scarce in the Brewers farm system, they seemed to be willing to try everything or wait as long as it took to produce an arm not attached to Yovani Gallardo. They held on to Mark Rogers too long and put up with too much shit. I'm not very patient. I expect results or else I quit. That's why I've never stuck to a diet or exercise program. I don't have the ability to see months/years into the future and see the end result. I would have given up on Rogers back in 2008. I might have even kept him around until 2010. But 2013? Hell no. Doug Melvin probably didn't want to admit he made a mistake by drafting him so high. Ah who the hell knows. That ship has sailed and the other Mr. Rogers is no longer with the organization. It's been real pal. Yeah, real fun watching you sit in the training room rehabbing from injuries. How did you even manage to get injured so much when you never even really played?
So that's that. It took me a long time to write this. A LONG TIME. I can't stress it enough. I've seriously been working on this off and on for a couple of months. As you can see, the Brewers used 12 different starters in 2013. That's insane and obviously not a recipe for success. Sure when the Brewers finished 83-79 in 2012 they used 11 starting pitchers, but let's not forget that their offense was pretty much healthy all year and finished as the NL's 5th best. In 2011 when they finished 96-66 and won the NL Central, they only used 6 different starting pitchers. The game starts and ends with pitching and if you don't have a healthy and effective starting rotation you can pretty much count yourself out of the playoff run before the All-Star Break. That's what happened to the Brewers in 2013. The month of May killed them and I'm going to put all the blame on the starting pitching (because the offense was inconsistent and struggled to put up even 3 runs a game) but even a great offense can't win very many games when they are trying to dig out of a 4-0 hole after the first few innings of every game. Pitching always sets the tone.
But who ends it? Starting pitchers these days rarely go the full 9 innings anymore and they only had 1 complete game in 2011 (Gallardo) and none in 2012. Surprisingly they had 4 in 2013 - 2 by Kyle Lohse and 2 by Wily Peralta. That's encouraging news folks. The Brewers' starting rotation was 11th out of 15 NL teams (if you rank them by ERA) which makes the 74-88 record understandable. Gallardo had a career worst year. Lohse came exactly as advertised. Peralta had some bumps along the way but they stuck with him through his growing pains. Estrada missed over 2 months but proved he can be an effective starting pitcher when healthy. There's a couple of really good options for the #5 starter for next year and they probably have some of the best depth in starting pitching that they have had in years. This bad year led to the exposure of that young talent. But that's enough about the starting pitching. I've already said too much. How about the bullpen? They are the ones who have to close out the games to make them final. How did they do in 2013? Wouldn't you like to know... Fortunately for you there is still one person who hasn't moved on to 2014 yet. Coming up next will be a look back on the 2013 bullpen. After that? Who knows. But you've stuck with me this long. What's another couple of weeks?
- pookon -
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And so that's the end of this year's 25 Brewers in 25 Days. I kind of crammed it all into 16 days and my previews were still happening even as the regular season started. I don't intend to do things this way but some of the best things in my life have been unplanned, like my future children. I'm not perfect and neither are the Brewers, but they will need to play that way if they want to make the playoffs this year. They have better pitching depth than in years' past, but they can't sustain major injuries to their top players. What team can? I'll happily sustain a major injury so that Sage would come visit me in the hospital as long as I don't have to lose a limb. You know how people how people say "I'd give my right arm to spend a night with Sage, no questions asked." Wait, people don't say that? I'm the only one? But as much as I love Sage, I don't think I would give up my right arm. As a writer and a guitar player, I would be seriously altered for life without that appendage. So how about a leg? If I lost a leg I would either be on crutches or in wheelchair for life. People who are crippled have to work twice as hard as the normies do. I'm not looking for extra work. I don't even do a whole lot of work as it is. So let's throw that one out of the window. I already mentioned the Cancer thing in previous articles. but I don't want to once again make a joke out of a serious issue. So I can't lose a limb or get a life threatening disease. So how I am supposed to get Sage to feel sorry for me to get close enough to realize how amazing I am and then fall madly in love with me? Good old fashioned charm. And a whole lot of luck.
Skill is one thing. So is talent. Putting in the hard work and effort will get you a long way. But you also need luck; for things to go your way. I didn't even mention Hank the Dog in any of these articles. I won't get into length about it, but the Brewers found a stray dog that wandered into Maryvale Ballpark in Phoenix and they started taking care of him. It became a huge story and people are in love with the little rascal. Now they may have taken it too far with the merchandise and public appearances, but they have said they are donating some of the proceeds to both the Wisconsin and Arizona Humane Societies. As someone who has adopted two cats from the Humane Society, I can totally get behind that. We should always help out those less fortunate than ourselves, even if they are animals. So the Brewers did something really good. I'm a firm believer in Karma (and not just the drink girl at La Bayou in Las Vegas from a few years ago) and that this good deed could earn them some serious good fortune in the future. 
