There are plenty of things to get upset about in this world - the government, racism, marriage inequality for gay couples, war and violence and the general decay of civilization as we know it. But a f****** parking spot is not one of them. I'm doing this one on speech to text (which censors me) because I'm probably going to rant and swear like a f****** sailor because this is something that really pisses me off. Why do sailors swear so much anyway? Is because they're at sea for so long and don't get any action? Or maybe it's because they're sea sick all the time. I know when I'm sick I don't give a f*** about anything and I just lose my god d*** mind. But that is not the point right now. One thing that is really f****** drives me bat**** crazy is when someone parks in my parking spot at work. We don't have designated parking spots and it's not like my f****** name is on the ground. I've been parking in the same stupid parking spot for like the last 2 years so I think that gives me the right to park there everyday. I've staked my claim on that mother f*****. Its like Finders Keepers losers weepers b****. I'm like this s*** it's mine.
Lately some god d*** a****** m*********** parks in my god d*** spot and I get here in the morning and I just lose it, just f****** swear like does a god d*** pissed off teenager who just learned all the curse words and says them just because. Son of a b**** ! S*** ! Get your paws off me you d*** dirty ape! You maniacs! D*** you! God d*** you all to hell! If we let this sort of nonsense happen then we let the terrorists win. Well f*** that. I'm more like hey terrorists! Terrorize this. I'll be damned if I'm going to live in a world where terrorists win. And that's the reason I get so upset about my parking spot. To most people its a place to put their car but to me its a reminder that I have to do my part to stave off the end of the world as we know it. I'm doing it for freedom. I'm doing it for the red white and f****** blue. I'm doing it for America. F*** yeah. And any of you little a******* out there who think this s*** is f****** funny parking in my god d*** parking spot I will drop a bomb on you. I will murder you. I will end your life if you think that parking in my spot is a f****** hilarious joke.
There's a lot of s*** in this world that I don't take seriously. I live by one pretty simple model - don't take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive. But this is one thing that I probably will never ease up on. I don't know why I have such a problem with this. Its ridiculous. I should be spending my energy on other things in my life that I do have control over. Like working out so I can drop a couple hundred pounds and look like a normal person. Or figuring out a way to trick somebody into marrying me. Or Having some babies so my mom can ease off my back for not giving her any grandchildren. Or actually advancing in the workplace so that I can lead to more successful life. Or fixing the broken relationships I have with my friends and family. Or getting my mind right so I can get my grind right if you know what I mean. But instead of doing any of that I'm b******* about a f****** parking spot. I must be out of my god d*** mind.
But I got my parking spot today so I don't know why I'm so angry. I'm like Hulk angry. ICEMAN SMASH!! I really have a lot of problems to deal with but instead I just swallow them like sadness. Along with a 1.75 of rum. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. It's a great big beautiful tomorrow! I just hope that I'm not so upset about something so trivial and that I don't swear so god d*** much. Jesus would not approve. I have to work on that getting into Heaven thing. Get in good with the Big Man. Maybe I'll give God my parking spot. That's a good start.
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
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