Corey Hart is a Bitch

Let me start out by saying that I've always liked Corey Hart. Alcohol has made me forget a lot of things, but I'm 99% sure that I'm right on this one. Corey Hart's first at bat with the Milwaukee Brewers happened late in the 2004 season. He came in as pinch hitter, and hit a foul ball that clanked off of the .300 Club (now the Metavante Club) in the 3rd deck. It was just barely foul, and would have been a booming home run if he could have kept it fair. He ended up striking out, but got a standing ovation from the crowd in his only at bat of that year. At that point, the fans were so excited about these youngsters who were on the verge of taking over this team. In 2005 he only played in 21 games and hit .193. In 2006 he was splitting time in right field with Geoff Jenkins, and he only played in 87 games but hit .283 with 9 HRs and 33 RBI. 2007 was his breakout season, and as the everyday right fielder he played in 140 games and hit .295 with 24 HRs, 81 RBIs and 24 stolen bases. He also played some good defense and had only 3 errors. He was also clocked as the fastest Brewers player in Spring Training, and I wore my sunglasses at night, screamed out "I Hart you Corey" from the right field bleachers and I often would say that Corey Hart ran like a gazelle. That is a compliment, as gazelles are some of the most graceful and fastest creatures on the planet. In 2008, he had a terrific first half on the season, and he was a candidate for the 2008 All-Star Game Final Vote, which he would end up winning. I was extremely supportive of him, and even installed a widget on this blog so that people could come here to cast their vote. I remember yelling out, "#1 on the field, #1 in your Harts!!" at the game, which became one of my signature cheers. I own a Corey Hart jersey, and counted myself as one of his biggest supporters. Then why would I say that he is a bitch? If you remember the 2nd half of the 2008 season onward, then you need not ask. But read on anyway.

Corey Hart completely fell apart after the All-Star break. I don't have the split stats to back it up, but in 2008 in 157 games he finished with a line of .268, 21 HRs, 91 RBIs and 23 stolen bases. You're probably saying that's not that bad, right? Consider that he had 109 strike outs and an on base percentage of .300, and you start to scrap the surface of how bad he really was. Anyone who watched the Brewers in 2008 saw that Corey Hart put up one of the biggest piece of shit half seasons the MLB has ever seen. I remember in the final game of the 2008 season, when the Brewers were at home against the Cubs and needed a win to advance to the playoffs. It was in the 7th inning, Ray Durham led off with a double, then Ryan Braun grounded out to 3rd, with Durham advancing to 3rd on the play. Prince Fielder was intentionally walked, then JJ Hardy walked on 4 straight pitches. Corey Hart stepped up to the plate in a career defining at bat; one that would cement his place in Brewers lore as they were trailing 1-0 at the time. Remember that Sean Marshall of the Cubs just threw 8 straight balls (4 intentional to Prince Fielder and 4 non intentional to JJ Hardy)? COREY HART SWUNG AT AND MISSED 3 STRAIGHT SLIDERS LOW AND AWAY AND STRUCK OUT SWINGING WITH THE BASES LOADED IN ONE OF THE WORST AT BATS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I have never been more upset in my entire life at someone who wasn't a murderer or a child rapist. I don't like to boo my own players, but on that day I booed the shit out of Corey Hart as he walked back to the dugout. If it wasn't for Craig "Clutch" Counsell (C3) who drew a walk tying the game at 1, Corey Hart may have been blamed for the loss. As everyone knows, with the game tied at 1-1, Ryan Braun hit a home run in the 8th inning that still gives me chills, and thanks to CC Sabathia's complete game, the Brewers won the Wild Card and made the playoffs for the first time in 26 years. The rest is history.

But why is Corey Hart a bitch you ask? Aside from his poor play in the 2nd half of 2008, his 2009 season was far worse. He played in only 115 games and had a batting average of .260, with 12 home runs and 48 RBIs. Naysayers will point out that he missed nearly 1 1/2 months due to emergency appendectomy surgery in August, which came at a time when he was just heating up at the plate. That's no excuse, as he already was having a dismal season where he couldn't do anything right. He ended up finishing the 2009 season with an on base percentage of .335, which was better than last year, but not nearly good enough for someone of his speed and baserunning skills. So all of that is in the past, but when thing has to be mentioned before I go into my rant about how I no longer "Hart" Corey. If you don't understand the arbitration process, let me breka it down for you right quick. A team owns the rights to a player for something like 6 years once they get to the majors, and for the first 2 or 3 years they are in the majors, the team controls their salary and they most likely make the major league minimum. After that, the player is allowed to file for an amount they feel that they are worth, and the team counters with the amount that they think that player is worth. In an ideal situation, both sides meet at the midpoint of the 2 figures, and that results in the players salary for that year. If they cannot compromise, it goes before an arbitration panel of 3 judges who decide on one or the other, and that is the amount that that player makes in a year. I know this is boring an technical stuff, but so is a lot of things in baseball. In 2008 Corey Hart filed for a salary of $3.8 million in his 1st year of arbitration, while the Brewers offered $2.7 million. On the night before going before the panel of arbitration judges, they settled on salary of $3.25 million. Corey Hart goes on to have a disappointing 2009 season, as I have previously pointed out.

Fast forward to 2010. Thank you for bearing with me, as I found it necessary to present the evidence before I make my claim that Corey Hart is a bitch. I already presented Hart's 2009 statistics (.260, 12 HR, 48 RBI, .335 OBP), and for the 2010 season he filed for a salary of $4.8 million, a RAISE of $1 million from the previous year in which he sucked balls at the plate and missed time due to injury. Think about it for a second. If you missed time at work, sucked at your job then asked your boss for A MILLION DOLLAR RAISE at your job, how do you think your boss would react?!? They would probably show you the door and hire someone who was younger, cheaper and could do a more efficient job than you could. Corey Hart is a mother fucker for thinking that he deserves more money after a season in which he let down over 3 million fans who came to see him play at Miller Park. Some people might blame the system and the fact that MLB does not have a salary cap, which leads to some players making ridiculous amounts of money. I blame the players, because they are simply abusing and taking advantage of the system in place that governs the salaries of the players. But then I must also blame the system too. I don't want to go into that today, but without a salary cap, teams like the Milwaukee Brewers will never be able to win a World Series if teams like the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Philadelphia Phillies can spend as much money as the want to buy a championship. So where was I? Oh yeah, Corey Hart is a bitch if he thinks that he is worth $4.8 million dollars. If you ask me, I don't think that he is worth $4.80. I'd rather have Frank "The Tank" Cattalonatto in right field, if nothing more than to hear The Outfield's "Your Love" every time that he steps up to the plate. I used to "Hart" Corey, but now I find myself feeling deep hate and disdain for him. I can't believe that he is asking for more money after the horrendous season that he had. Doug Melvin has a clean track record of settling with players on a salary for the upcoming season, and has yet to go before the arbitration panel. Corey Hart may change that in 2010, because he's being a stubborn bitch who thinks that he is better than he actually is. I know that he has a family small children, and is trying to make enough for his future, but what can you buy for $4.8 million that you can't buy for $4.15 million (which is the amount that the Brewers have offered him for 2010)? I only make $28,000 a year, which seems like a lot to you kids (Brian, Stacy and Kevin) but it is pocket change compared to Hart's $4+ million he will make this year. And to be quite honest with you, he doesn't deserve that. Not at all. Given his decline in the last few years, I wish we could give him less money, but unfortunately the arbitration process doesn't work that way. So he will end up making a ton of money, and unless he hopefully rebounds in 2010, he will enrage the fans once again. Corey Hart is no stranger to enraging the fans. In September of 2008 the Brewers had just completed a 3-7 homestand and were slipping from the Wildcard lead. Corey Hart's poor play in the second half helped contribute to this, and the fans would often boo him when he showed a complete lack of discipline at the plate. The Brewers were going on the road to play Philadelphia and he had this to say about the people who pay his salary. "Actually, it felt more like a home game than playing in Miller Park," said Hart, who has no home runs and two RBI this month. "We didn't hear the boos that we sometimes hear at home. That's the way it goes. Everybody's expecting (the team) to win. I guess they have a reason to be frustrated because we haven't been winning. "It's not a lack of hustle or effort. A guy makes an error, a guy strikes out and you hear your home town booing you. It makes you ready to get out of there and go somewhere else for awhile. I think we're all looser here." So Hart would rather be somewhere else than Miller Park. So go there. What's stopping you ya bum? He's been the fodder of trade rumors for some time now, and the only reason that we haven't traded him is that there is no viable younger and less expensive talent in the minors to replace him. Or at least none of those outfielders are major league ready yet. But as soon as they are I want Corey Hart out of town and headed to the next place that wants to deal with his shit.

Wow. Can't believe that I ranted that long on Corey Hart. That just goes to show you how passionate I am about my team. I know I wanted to say it for a long time, but FUCK COREY HART. There. It has been said now. I haven't been this upset since 4th and 26. And there's not many times that I hate a player on my team as much as I hate a player on the Chicago Cubs. Corey might as well put on the traitor jersey and play on the North side, and catch fly balls up against the gay shrubbery on the brick walls. Fuck Corey Hart and fuck him for thinking that he is worth a God Damn cent. He is being a bitch right now and I will no longer support him unless he proves that he has learned plate discipline and takes a fucking walk when the pitcher pitches him low and outside. I've backed Corey Hart since Day 1, and will continue to do so if he proves to me that he was who I thought he was. And if he isn't, then I will stop at nothing to get someone to play right field who can live up to the hype. It's starting to look like Doug Melvin will have to go to his 1st arbitration hearing as GM of the Brewers because Corey Hart fails to realize how much of a bitch he really is. His unwillingness to see how much he sucked and compromise at a fair salary of $4.4 million is upsetting. I'm tired of his bitchy antics and will focus my attention elsewhere. Even though it is the offseason, I got Brewers on the brain. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about my team, and if you ever want to have an educational discussion about the Boys in Blue, let me know. But just makes sure that you bring the knowledge if you want to discuss the Crew, because I've had enough of the uninformed fuckers who call into AM 1250 WSSP. No one (besides Tim and Sparky) have any idea what they are talking about. You know how to reach me; rant over. Let's go Brewers, and keep on Turnin' Up the Heat!

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Onions make Hotdogs tasty

(from the Lost Archives - date unknown, probably spring 2009)


(from the Current Archives - Wednesday, November 18, 2009)

As you can see from the entry of the Lost Archives, there is nothing there. This must have been one of those ideas that I came up with and never expounded on it. I was probably drunk one night, and in my inebriated state, ate some hot dogs with onions and came up with this genius observation. But let's break this thing down a little bit. First off, hot dogs are already tasty. I know that might change depending on who you talk to, but I think that the majority if Americans would answer yes to the question, "Are hotdogs tasty?" So already the dog alone makes it tasty. Then you add a bun into the mix. To be honest with you, I don't think this changes anything. Unless you have flavored bread or one with some awesome seasoning, bread just tastes like nothing. I figure the hotdog bun to just be a container in which to hold all the awesomeness, which we will get into in a moment. For me, a hotdog needs to have ketchup. That is the bare minimum amount of condiments that I must put on my dog before consuming it. Of course I like to have more, because who doesn't? If someone were to give you the choice between having 1 (for the sake of argument, we'll use widgets) widget or having 5 widgets, you'd choose 5 widgets, right? No? Oh yeah, you'd probably not put widgets on your hotdog because widgets are an economic term used to describe an unnamed or hypothetical manufactured article. A widget is also a small mechanical device, as a knob or switch, especially one whose name is not known or cannot be recalled; a gadget. What kind of savage psycho puts that shit on a hotdog?

I'll tell you in my ideal world what I would put on my hotdog - everything in the picture to the left. But I wouldn't call it a Chicago Dog for 2 reasons - I hate Chicago and because I improve upon this design. I add ketchup and sauerkraut to make it a true Milwaukee Dog. If I wanted to be quite honest with you, then I would say that I stole the idea from Mad Dog Jake's up in Boulder Junction and that it is actually called a Mad Dog. I've been going to Boulder Junction (a small town even further North and West than Eagle River) since I was a little kid. When I joined Boy Scouts, I was excited to find out that our week long Summer Camp was at nearby Jag Lake. And I also heard that at some point doing the week we'd take the 5 mile hike into Boulder Junction. That probably doesn't seen very exciting to you, but unless you are one of the adults at summer camp, you aren't allowed to have soda or candy at camp. While this seems trivial now, think about how horrifying that is as a kid or a teenager. When we went into Boulder Junction, we could gorge ourselves silly, as long as we were able to make the walk back. So it became a challenge of finding that fine line between being extremely satisfied and being overly stuffed. I always made sure to stop at Mad Dog Jake's with Mike Bates and grab a Mad Dog and some ice cream. And although I haven't been back there since (something like 10 years now) it will always be the best hot dog I've ever had in my entire life. And also one of my best memories of all time.

(from the even more Current Archives 1/21/2010)

I don't know what makes up a hotdog. I could Google it and see some sick shit, but for once (if anyone follows my blog or website) I'm refraining from looking up information because I don't want to know it instead of my usual not doing it because I am lazy. I love hotdogs so much that I straight up refuse to compromise my love for them. Two of my favorite meals involve hotdogs - SuperMac (which is macaroni and cheese with hotdogs and extra cheeses) and Ghettio (spaghettios with hotdogs). And then of course is the tie between hotdogs and sporting events, mainly baseball. I love grilling out and tailgaiting, and hotdogs make me think of summer. If you live in Wisconsin or have ever visited here, you know how much we look forward to our summers because winter sucks balls. So I'm going to go on the record by saying that I love hotdogs, onions do make them tasty and this summer I will go back to Boulder Junction for a Mad Dog at Mad Dog Jake's. Fire up the grill, open up a cold one, grab out the condiments and eat the shit out of a hotdog. Trust me, it will remind you of the better days to come and help get you through the cold winter. Stay warm my friends.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Pookcast - Episode 8: WSoBP V Wrap-Up

One of my main goals at the WSoBP was to get the guys together and recap each days events. But since we all did so poorly each day, I had to wait for the right moment to approach them about joining me for a taping of the Pookcast. That moment occurred the morning after Day 3 of the tournament, when we goofed around Vegas-style instead of playing beer pong. To be quite honest with you, I'm sure that all of us would've traded in our day of fun for a playoff berth and a shot at $50,000. But we did have tons of fun, and it was the only reason why I enjoyed my time out in Las Vegas. We sat down and goofed around, and I had to split the video into 3 parts because it was so long. We could talk for hours about our beer pong adventures, but hopefully this video gives you a taste of what it is like to be out there with us. If we decide to go back for WSoBP VI (the jury is still out on that one, and it will be for quite a while) we hope that you will join us and finally get to experience this beer pong event for yourself. Enjoy the Pookcast, and once again thank you for checking out all of the sites in the Pookon Empire. Your faithfulness will not go unrewarded. As soon as I can figure out how to reward you that is. Later dudes!

Part 1



Part 2



Part 3




- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong 5 : Brief Wrap-up

I'm at the airport right now, and my flight back to Wisconsin boards in about a half hour. I'm tired beyond belief, and my tummy is still doing flips after eating a double In-N-Out Burger with Animal Fries this morning. There's so much that I would like to write about, but the majority of it was touched upon in an episode of the Pookcast that I filmed with Kanz, Brodey and Casey this morning. I will post that either tonight or sometime tomorrow, so I don't want to spoil the details of that before it is available here on this blog. After I post it, I will write something up in case I missed some details. And of course, pictures and captions will eventually be posted on pookon.com once I finish Afterglow 2009 and all of the other pictures from last year that I didn't get around to completing yet. So stay tuned for that shit.

The main reason that I wanted to post something on here was just to tell everyone that I am still alive and made it through another year in Las Vegas. Just barely though. I'm coming home without a lot of money, and will have to spend money once I get home to fix things I broke while I was out here. And I sucked balls at beer pong, so it will take a lot of reflection and convincing myself that I had a good time out here and that I should go back next year. There's not much more that I can do at this time, as I am starting to fall asleep at the airport bar. I guarantee that I will pass out on the airplane back home, and once I get home I'll probably crash hard. The good news is that I don't have to work tomorrow, so after sleeping this weekend off, I will have some time to post things if I feel like it. Can't promise anything. I'm just lucky to be alive still.

So that does it for now. Be back with more later if I successfully wake up tomorrow morning. As my cousin Tommy says, "I hope so." I hope so too Tommy. I hope so too.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong 5 - Day 2

It's about 4am on Monday January 4th. Day 2 of WSoBP 5 ended about 9 hours ago or something. Sorry for the delay in getting something on here, but if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, then you already know that Day 2 (and this year's WSoBP in general) has not been very kind to me. Call it lack of practice, lack of focus and energy, increased competition or whatever other excuses I can pull out to blame for our performance, but we didn't do well. At all. There was not even one game that stands out where I could honestly say that we played up to our capacity and dominated someone. It looks like we finished 288 out of 468 teams, by far my worst showing ever. 5-7 with a -5 cup differential. The most we ever won by was 4 cups, and the most we lost by was 6 cups. And it's not like our opponents did that well either (although 6 of the 12 teams we faced did make Day 3) since most of the games were pretty close. So that's the day in a nutshell. If I want to be depressing about it I can keep going on with statistics and sad stories. But I'll spare us both and try to pick out a few good things that happened today.

Brodey and Casey were scheduled to play one of the hired girls teams (X-Burlesque One, from the show in the Flamingo) on the featured table, but the chicks didn't show up. They got the win, and Kanz and I played them in a game we dubbed the Milwaukee Classic. In the end, Kanz and I ended up winning, but it wasn't about the end result. This was just an old school game of Milwaukee Beer Pong between old friends, and it couldn't have been anymore fun. We busted out old shots like Salmon-style goofy shots including the Zeus, fade away jumpers and no look quick shots. This match certainly wiped the bad taste out my mouth from all the losing. If only the other games could have been like this, then this trip would have been so much more fun. I guess that's why we play beer pong back home, so that the games can be just about a bunch of friends having fun instead of intense competition with strangers trying to win prize money. Then during his last match of the day, I coerced Brodey into taking his pants off. I know that that sounds pretty gay, but for those of you who haven't been around Milwaukee Beer Pong, somewhere during any beer pong event, Brodey and Balkman eventually play a game in their boxers. Brodey is a ridiculously skinny guy, so seeing him without baggy clothes is a little jarring. But it is also hilarious at the same time. The distraction worked really well, but as Brodey put it, Milwaukee brought plenty of defense but not enough offense to WSoBP 5.

So that's a little of how today played out. I plan on filming an episode of the Pookcast tomorrow morning when Kanzy-pants wakes up. I want to get him on there and talk beer pong. And hopefully tomorrow we will focus more on the positives instead of the negatives as we do a retrospective of our careers rather than a WSoBP wrap-up that includes our failures. Maybe I'll be able to get Casey and Brodey too, so you'll have a true insight into our storied beer pong history. Whatever the case may be, I want to thank you once again for taking the time to check out this site. Sorry that I don't have a lot of good news for ya, but that's the way it goes sometimes I guess. Take care of yourselves, have a nice day, and continue to check back for more updates. Even though I won't be playing in Day 3, I'm still in Vegas. Which means that there will be no shortage of situations and drama that I can and will get myself involved in. Later dudes.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Pookcast - Episode 7: World Series of Beer Pong Day 1

I went back to my room after the events of Day 1 played itself out, and had a little time to reflect on the fact that N-Ice Kanz finished at 3-3. It's not great, but it's ok. If we make a run tomorrow we still can make the playoffs on Day 3. But we need to at least go 5-1 with a high cup margin or go 6-0 to guarantee a spot in the final bracket. So things are looking OK but not great. I vented a little and let my sillies out during this Pookcast, although you might think that I was too serious about the game of beer pong. Like it or not, beer pong is a sport and not just a recreational activity. Or at least for aging veterans like me. I've been there since the birth of the sport, and until now I've watched my baby develop into the behemoth it has become. This year may be my last, but if I get the feeling next year I may be back. That's the beauty of this game; you may give up on beer pong but beer pong will never give up on you. So I'll keep playing until I lose the love for the game. That has yet to happen, so stick with me for a few more games while I figure this shit out. Once again, thanks for visiting Pookon's Ill Blog, Pookon.com and all of the other sites in the Pookon Empire. Take care of yourself my friend.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookon.com@gmail.com

World Series of Beer Pong 5

So I’ve been up since about 5:30 am, since my flight was at 7:15am this morning. I was up until about 3:30am watching Full House and drinking, well knowing that I had to be up early for my flight. I wanted to bed because I wanted to be well rested for the 5^th World Series of Beer Pong, but I’d much rather laugh along with the laugh track when Uncle Jessie says, “Have mercy.”, Stephanie says, “How rude.” and Michelle says, “You got it dude!” Apparently watching a show that I grew up with that I have seen a million times was more important than sleep. If I had to do it all over again, I’d totally stay up idolizing Uncle Joey’s sweet ass mullet. I’m pretty sure that I slept on the plane, but you might want to ask the 2 hot 21 year olds that sat next to me. They probably noticed that I was sleeping instead of listening to them gush about this being their first time to Las Vegas and that they were going to put all their pictures up on MySpace. Who the hell uses that site anymore anyway? Well, except for the Back Alley Burners. We need that shit to promote out burn worthy material. But these chicks should have been hopping on the Facebook train by now. Even church ladies rock the Facebook for their social bible reading connections. Fucking kids have to get with the now.

When I landed in Vegas, it was something like 9am, and I had so much time and so little to do. I started out by getting a free lift to the Flamingo, courtesy of the Mark Travel Corporation (my employer) who owns Showtime Tours, who do all sorts of shit in Vegas including roundtrip airport transfers. I couldn’t check into the hotel yet, so I hung out with Billy, Duncan, Skinny and the rest of the Bpong Staff while they set shit up. Sooner rather than later, my stomach was grumbling for food and my head was aching for some booze to get me in the Vegas mindset. I met up with some friends at O’Shea’s (a small Irish casino next to the Flamingo that has beer pong going 24/7) but didn’t really feel like playing beer pong. I think that’s the feeling of this trip so far – I love being out here and seeing these people, but I don’t really care to play. Hopefully that will change tomorrow when the tournament starts or else I’m in trouble. But I have a feeling that once I step up to the table in a competitive atmosphere, I will kick it into high gear and win some games. I figure we need a 9-3 record to guarantee a playoff spot, since obviously last year’s 8-4 record isn’t good enough to make the playoffs. More on that tomorrow though when the tournament starts going.

So I decided to walk around and check some shit, mainly the newest addition to Las Vegas – the City Center by MGM. This site has been under construction for the last few years, and now it is finally close to being finished. I wanted to see it because at my job we build hotel packages, and we had to create and maintain new codes and profiles for the two new properties Aria and Vdara. I thought that they were done really well, and that the architecture was fantastic. It is mostly done with glass windows, and resembles something that you would see in downtown Chicago or New York City, and not side by side next to themed hotels like New York New York and the Bellagio. My favorite part is how everything was colored in Earthy tones, which made the inside feel like a rainforest. There was a waterfall outside lightly cascading down a rock face, which made it sound like wind blowing through the rainforest. Not that I would know what that would sound like though. My white ass has never been to the jungles of the Congo. I didn’t hang out with gorillas and shoot at them with diamond powered lasers. I ended up winning some money there ($80 at one time, most of which I sadly put back into the machine) then went to the Walgreens to buy cigars and energy drinks to make Shrek’s Piss tomorrow morning. I stopped to buy a 40 of Mickey’s, and proceeded to drink that while watching the Bellagio fountains. Then I did some gambling at Wild Bill’s Saloon and Casino, lost some money, but got some “free drinks” out of it. So now Joey Kanz is here and we are in the hotel room. We are about to check in for the WSoBP tournament then grab a bite to eat at the greatest restaurant in the world – In-N-Out Burger. We also plan on hitting up Main Street Station’s microbrewery tonight, and for at least a little well, despite the reason we are out here, beer pong will be the last thing on my mind. I’m here to have fun, and I can’t really have fun if I’m stressed out about this shit. So tomorrow morning I will wake up and start drinking, then see where all this takes me. I don’t really have a good internet connection, so the best way to follow the happenings of the tournament is to check out my twitter page at www.twitter.com/pookondotcom. They are all shorts blobs of shit, but I try to be informative and funny in 140 characters, so it’s worth checking out.

Maybe I’ll try to type some more later, but chances are you won’t hear from me until tomorrow. And that is a good thing, because that means that I was having too much fun tonight to bother to update shit. So thanks for reading, and stay tuned to semi-live coverage from the 5^th World Series of Beer Pong.