Coming back home from Afterglow is really hard. It's one of the saddest and most difficult days of my entire year. I can't really explain why but I'll try. Imagine the greatest place in your mind then you get to go there for a week. No work. No troubles. Total freedom. All of the people who you love the most are there. There's plenty of food, drinks and merriment. And there is rage. More rage then you can ever begin to comprehend. Life takes a backseat. You feel at peace. The world slows down. It's heaven on Earth. And just when you settle in and get acclimated to the perfect life reality comes back with a vengeance and tells you that not only do you have to leave this paradise but that you can't go back there for another 51 weeks. Then you get saddled with work. And problems. And in my case this year a cold and back problems. If my week at Afterglow was Heaven then I've definitely been going through Hell since I've been back home.
I can deal with sickness. I don't like it but I can get all hopped up on medicine, drink plenty of fluids and get a ton of rest. You can live with a cold even if you are hacking your lungs out and sneezing like someone shoved a shaker of pepper up your nose. Does pepper really make people sneeze? I know that it does in cartoons but I've never sneezed because of pepper. I've cried because of onions so I can totally get behind that one but I think the pepper one is bullshit. But back to my recent malady. One day I woke up with back pain. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I have never broken, sprained, severely burned or cut any part of my body. I've never had a surgery or had painful dental work done. I've been pretty lucky (or just ultra conservative because I choose not to live life and instead I sit in my sheltered box in front of a computer screen) so only now do I know what it is like to be helpless. To be in complete agony. To be captive in your own body. To not to be able to live your life. The back is the core of your body and every movement seems like it is connected to it somehow. Or at least that's how I've been feeling. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to stand up. To walk. To sit. To lay down. To move my arms. Everything hurt. And there was not a damn thing that I could do about it.
This is the first time I've really spoken out about this unless you've happened to come in contact with me over the past two weeks and seen me hobble around like an old man. Well that's not entirely true. I've also taken to my Twitter account (@Pookondotcom) to bitch about my life and to keep a running account of the way I felt throughout this entire ordeal. I use Twitter to remember my life because it is so easy to jot down a random thought or situation I find myself getting into so I apologize if you follow me and see all the nonsense I put on there. But I've typed enough here today. I took to my solo Podcast as a way to work out some of my problems during this troubling time in my life and also to release some of the frustrations that have come with it. Driving centers me and gives me a chance to step back for a few minutes and evaluate my life and the choices that I have made. This podcast has helped me to understand a lot about myself and if you've ever wanted to try and do the same, start by clicking the play button below and listening to my latest episode.
Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 21 - Back to Reality (The Afterglow Blues): http://pookonco.ipower.com/music/dtsa-ep21.mp3
I can't really think of a good way to end this article/time in my life. That's because there is no ending. I know that the Afterglow Blues will last until I get back up there on July 19, 2014. I hope and pray to God that my back issues don't last that long. Things have gotten better in the last few days but this sounds like something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. While that sounds like one of the worst things I can possibly think of I just need to keep telling myself that I'm still alive. And while I'm alive I get to continue driving towards my end goal and hopefully keep on learning some cool shit along the way. That's all I can ever ask for.
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
