The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 23 - I Only Gamble With My Life

I've had a lot of very interesting days in my life - some good and some bad. I like to try and forget the bad ones even though they are ingrained in my memory. The good ones I don't want to ever forget. But what about the ones that were equally as good and bad? What should I do about those days? I should share them with you. You're welcome in advance. This episode is a departure from the normal structure of this podcast but I had to do something like this again after I had so much fun with it last time I was in Las Vegas. If you listened to Episode 19 - Operation Dawn (which was recorded in March 2013 on my first night out there for a friend's wedding) then you know exactly how this one is going to turn out. The title of this episode comes from 1999's The Mummy. In it, Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) is asked to join in a card game, to which he responds, "I only gamble with my life, never my money." I wish I was the same way, especially after this recent adventure. The truth is that I'm a gambling addict and I can't stay away from Las Vegas even though she repeatedly steals money from my wallet and leaves me lying unsatisfied in a drunken stupor. But like someone in an abused relationship, they go against their better judgment and keep coming back.

This was on the tail end of my trip down to Arizona to watch the Milwaukee Brewers play some Spring Training baseball. It was my plan all along to make the 5 hour drive to Las Vegas but I didn't plan on getting my ass kicked on the first night. I guess I was just ready to blow off some steam and I hit the ground running pretty hard. I was way too drunk to remember to record that night, so I did it the following night when I went to Planet Hollywood. I apologize if I sound a little down but I definitely wasn't as drunk as the night before (no one should ever be), I had already lost all of my allocated gambling money and I had arrived at this casino only to find they removed my Penguin slot machine where I could sit and creepily ogle the scantily clad dancing girls. That was my favorite spot in all of Las Vegas. But I decided to record anyway, and the result is still highly entertaining. 

This podcast is actually 3 separate recordings stitched together. The first 32 minutes were recorded at Planet Hollywood on Monday March 17 while playing some Caesar age of the Roman Empire type slot machine. The next 15 minutes were recorded on Sunday March 16 at the Plaza Casino downtown at like 3 in the morning while playing some slot machine next to some random girl. The last 8 minutes are at 4 in the morning on that same night when I was just about to pass out from a long night of drinking and gambling. I know it's not in the right order as far as when they were recorded, but in some drunken way it kind of makes sense. So kick back, open up a beverage (of the alcoholic kind if you're not at work) and get ready for what I think about when I'm in Las Vegas:

Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 23 - I Only Gamble With My Life: http://pookon.com/music/dtsa-ep23-gamble.mp3

I spent most of the day hungover laying in bed watching Boy Meets World. Hell of a way to spend a day in Las Vegas. By the time that I could stomach water and food, almost the entire day had passed. Thankfully I was in Las Vegas and there is plenty to do at night, so I took my car down to to the Strip and wandered around for a bit before settling in at the Planet Hollywood to record this episode. Here is a sampling of my Twitter account @pookondotcom from that night when I got into the usual hi-jinks that come from hanging out by yourself and drinking in a foreign city. As you can imagine, things got a little weird. They always do.

Playing Reels O'Dublin at Margaritaville. After all, it is #StPatricksDay. Might as well do something Irish. #LasVegas

The drink girls at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville wear bikinis. Iceman likes. Mostly because I'm sad, pathetic and single. #LasVegas

I got a Landshark Lager as my "free" beer. I wish I could stay here all day. They have some great music. #Margaritaville #LasVegas

I'm starting to think that I'm unlucky. Oh really Iceman? What tipped you off? When you lost all that money? #LasVegas

It's not even fair how bad I am doing. It's like they should invent a new phrase, like "pulling an Iceman". #loser #LasVegas

My drink girl at Margaritaville had some really nice totties. If I was just a little more drunk, I would've told her. #SexyTime #LasVegas

Roamed the halls of the Flamingo looking for an ice machine. Something tells me I've been here before... #WSoBP #LasVegas

Drinking a potent mixture of rum, whiskey and mountain dew. If this thing kills me, I've led a horrifying life. #rage

Trying to find my favorite slot at Planet Hollywood. Where I can creepily ogle the dancing girls. And I can't find it. #Drunk

Either my bearings are off or they got rid of my favorite machine. I can't find it here. #sadness #LasVegas

I'm seriously upset right now. How am I supposed to creepily ogle the dancing girls now without looking weird? #LasVegas

I feel like another part of me has died. Las Vegas as I know it is no more. I don't ever want to come back here again. #sadness

I'm really upset here. I made one heck of a journey to get here only to find no prize at the finish line. #sadness #LasVegas

I feel like Forrest Gump when he's done running. "I'm pretty tired. I guess I'll go home now." #LasVegas

Don't get me wrong. I love noise. I would eat it for breakfast. But I can't stand noise just for the sake of noise. #LasVegas

Despite all the weird looks I got, I recorded a drunken podcast in #LasVegas. Just as you requested @MPW8279.

#LasVegas doesn't give a fuck that it is a Monday night and neither do I. Hell of a town. #rage

(I'm laughing at some random thing I saw, cackling like a maniac) Random: are you ok man? Me: no way. Not at all. #LasVegas

Drinking wine while watching the Bellagio Fountain show. I have to keep it classy. That's the only way to live. #LasVegas

Sang some Celine Dion at Bellagio with some beautiful girls from New Zealand. It's always good to be the Iceman. #LasVegas

After meeting those girls I definitely want my wife to be from New Zealand. What's sexier than a foreign accent? #LasVegas

Got a Corona and I'm playing Fireball. After this I can definitely call it quits. #LasVegas

Thanks for joining me on yet another adventure. I spend a lot of time alone, which is why I take to my Twitter account to invite the World (well, actually my 270 followers or whomever ends up randomly seeing my tweets because of my hashtags) to come along with me. These things that I put on there are my actual thoughts or things that I did or said. There is no lying or manipulation of the truth. Where's the fun in that? It's hilarious because it's true. I really am this strange. No wonder why I don't have anyone to hang out with on a Saturday night or a girlfriend. Is it that hard to believe? It's a gift and a curse. I can entertain the masses and draw in but at the same time I push everybody away. But that's life. That's what I experience along my drive. Thanks for riding shotgun for a bit. Remember to tip the valet.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Drunken Movie Reviews - Big Ass Spider

Every now and then a movie comes out that is right up my alley. From the first moment I hear about it I know that I will love it. Most often it is because of the cast, writer or the director. Sometimes it's the subject matter. With this movie it was all in the title - Big Ass Spider. What is this movie about? It's right there, clear as day, plain as a white sheet of printer paper. This movie is about a big ass spider. How is that not the coolest thing ever? If you're shaking your head right now then you must be one of those film snobs who only see movies that have a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes or get talked about come Awards Season. I have nothing against those films and I happen to like a lot of them. But for my money it doesn't get any better than a movie that knows exactly what it is and gets right to the point. There's no underlying subplot about a girl with Daddy issues or a man struggling to find his place in an ever changing society. There are no political subtexts and it isn't a commentary on the war on terror. It's an Exterminator and a Mexican Security Guard trying to take down a big ass spider. 

I don't even know why I'm trying to explain the damn thing. Why should I waste my time trying to convince you to watch the movie? Look, you either get it or you don't. If you are like me then you said yes right away when you saw the name Big Ass Spider. If you think that this is a stupid name for a movie and that it will probably suck then don't even bother watching it. I don't really care what you think because I had a great time with this flick. In fact, I had so much fun with it that I decided to record a drunken review of the movie. Of course this contains spoilers, so don't listen to it unless you have already seen the movie or if you don't care about some drunken asshole telling you all about it. But seriously, how can anything I say be a spoiler? You've seen this type of movie a million times - a monster is created and fucks shit up and it is up to some lowly underdog and his comedic sidekick to save the girl and save the day because the "professionals" (US Military in this case) couldn't do it. But even though I've seen this type of movie before, it didn't stop me from having one hell of a good time with it. Don't believe me? Check out my drunken review by clicking below.

Right click and Save As to download a copy of Drunken Movie Reviews - Big Ass Spider: http://pookon.com/music/dmr%20-%20big%20ass%20spider.mp3 

I really wish there were more movies like Big Ass Spider. This isn't the highest, most intelligent form of art. Far from it. This is entertainment. Isn't that what movies are supposed to be? Life is tough. Work is hard. Managing relationships and dealing with Family members causes a lot of stress. So when you want to relax, you are free to unwind in any way you see fit. I love nothing more than to pour a rum or whiskey drink, put on an action movie or comedy I've seen 100 times and forget all of the troubles around me. It's a way to escape the World without putting yourself in danger or even leaving your living room. You may love The Godfather (I've only seen it once) or Schindler's List (never seen it) or be a huge fan of Pulp Fiction (I happen to think Tarantino films are rather overrated and I've never really enjoyed any of them). But give me The Replacements (which I could watch every day) or Ghostbusters (which I've literally - no exaggeration - seen hundreds of times) and I'll never be happier. That's the beauty of art and entertainment - it's subjective. What I love isn't necessarily what you love. And I love Big Ass Spider. What do you love? Well, besides poetry, a glass of scotch and of course, your pal Baxter?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom