Rod Stewart voted off of American Idol

With a voice like a crackling record nearing the end of it's rotation cycle, Rod Stewart, I mean Amanda Overmyer was voted off of American Idol. I thought that Americans were stupid, but it turns out that the general population (or at least those who actually waste their time to call and vote) knows what constitutes being a good singer and possessing talent. It's about time. I swear that girl smokes a pack of cigarettes before going up on stage. She sounds like Dorris the makeup lady on The Critic for crying out loud! I thought that someone was sanding down an old table in the garage, but it turned out to be Amanda practicing "Back in the USSR". So she's back in the USSR, eh? She should have stayed there because obviously America doesn't want her. I love that Simon put her in her place when she said that it didn't matter what the judges think, it's all about the fans. Well girl, I guess the fans listened to Simon because he's always right. People boo him because they don't want to hear the truth. He's almost always brutally honest and he tells it exactly like it is. The truth hurts Amanda, just like getting voted off of a reality show with 30 million people watching you lose. That's rough.

So bring over those old Motown records, we'll put the speakers in the window and we'll go on the roof. I'll certainly be listening to The Miracles echoing through the Adams Family home, but I will no longer have to suffer through another song by that chick. So goodbye to the tornado spinning, raspy voiced devil and hello to some singers who actually sing and not just sit up on stage and growl like a hungry lion. The only bad thing about her getting voted off? Now I have to find someone else on the show to make fun of on this blog. Or I could just give up and stop talking about American Idol on this blog, because that is what I think America really wants.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com

Misery loves Three's Company

Because, after all - who doesn't? Some will say that two is a couple, and three is a crowd, but I think that comedy explodes from a crowd of close people who can play off of each other. Stand up is great, but situational comedy will always rule in my book because of the interaction between the characters. I studied human behavior and communication in college, and almost all of the discussions we had involved interpersonal communication. Communication is a two way street, and if more people occupy that street, things get a bit complicated. I started out trying to be funny (with the title of this post) but in actuality, I was trying to speak about a serious topic.

Misery. There. It even looks rough just sitting there. I know that it looks rough when I see it in the mirror every morning and every night. Sometimes I can catch it staring back at me in my computer monitor when I pull up a dark screen. Sometimes I even talk to the misery. I say, "Hi Misery!" Misery just stares back at me and says, "you're gonna be drinking early today." A few glimpses is all I get per day, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist when I can't see it. In fact, I think that I'm miserable so often that it is starting to be comical. Just give me a happy-go-lucky, no care in the world roommate (which is definitely not my current roommate Fresno Chris) and we'd have ourselves one laughable "odd couple" sitcom brewing right in my 2 bedroom apartment. Think off all the zany hijinks that would go on there! You'd bust a gut from all of the nonstop laughter. I don't even know why I'm so miserable anymore. I'm so pissed off at the world right now that I start to forget why I got so pissed off in the first place, and why I'm still all pissy.

I think I just like attention, and nothing screams attention more than being angry all of the time when you are usually jovial and grinning like an idiot. Everyone expects me to be laughing and goofing around, which is why I am never taken seriously. Sometimes it works in my favor, because I can say things and get away with it because no one would believe that I actually meant it. That has gotten me out of some sticky situations, but at the same time it's been a detriment because my opinion generally doesn't matter. Every now and then, I've got something good to say. I just wish that people would listen. It seems like people only pay attention if you're being funny. I personally think I'm hilarious, and I find it hard to be serious, but every once in a while I pull it together and act normal. You wait, I just might do it to you someday.

I initially started typing this entry on February 4 2008. Obviously, a lot has changed since then. I don't really feel all that miserable anymore. It might be because winter is almost over and spring time is just around the corner. Baseball is being played down in Arizona, but within a week, the Brewers will be back at Miller Park and the best 6 (hopefully 7) months of my year begin. Brewers baseball, beer, and good weather - how could anyone be miserable with that stuff going on? There's nothing left to be sad about one the baseball season kicks off. Oh what a difference a month makes. Let this be a lesson - things will always get better and don't let depression or misery get to you Artax, or else you'll meet your doom and end up at the bottom of the Swamp of Sadness.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

I want some pickles

So I went and got some pickles. I've always been an impulse buyer, and the US Economy loves that. I wanted an iPod, so I went out and bought one. Can I afford an iPod? Possibly, but not a $500 iPod with touch screen and wireless internet. When I want something, I flat out go and get it, regardless of my financial situation. That's probably the reason why I don't have a savings account and mounting credit card debt. I know I have a problem, but how can I tell myself no? It always starts small. I wanted some pickles, so I walked to the store and bought a jar. That was one of the best damn jar of pickles I ever ate in my whole life. Was it a good impulse purchase? Absolutely. Did it open the door for new impulse purchases? Hell yeah, which is what really troubles me. I've previously posted how much I hate working, but I spend money like it's going out of style, so I need to keep on working to keep up with my spending. It's a vicious cycle, and I'm stuck in it going round and round and round and round. So when I end up homeless, penniless, toothless, drunk and naked on the streets I'll remember that it all started with wanting some pickles.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

Brewers, Brewers, keep turnin' up the heat!

If you've got time, head on over to The Milwaukee Brewers blog on JSOnline. Tom Hadricourt and Anthony Witrado of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel post daily happenings and updates from spring training in Arizona, and I am in a bitter debate with several of the blog posters about the make up of the starting rotation. Check me out if you go on there - my name, of course, is Pookon. To be quite honest with you, I don't even know how I stand on this whole issue. Both sides make sense.

Side A - Sheets, Gallardo, Supan, Villanueva, Parra in the starting rotation. Bush, Capuano and Vargas - one is long relief in bullpen/spot starter, one is sent down to AAA, and one is traded.

Positives - The best rotation talent-wise. Sheets, Gallardo and Parra are strikeout power pitchers and Supan and Villanueva are contact pitchers. Supan and Sheets (when healthy) are solid and reliable, and the other 3 have tons of upside.

Negatives - Gallardo, Villanueva, and Parra have little Major League experience. If Sheets get injured, they're screwed if they traded away an established pitcher like Bush, Capuano or Vargas. The lack of playing time in the Major Leagues could be the team's biggest weakness come the stretch run in September and their arms could be tired. None of them has pitched over 150-180 innings in a year at any level. If one of these young guns gets injured, it could hurt their career long term.

Side B - Sheets, Gallardo, Supan, Capuano/Bush/Vargas/Villanueva (2 of the 4 in the starting 5). 1 of the last 4 is the long man in the bullpen and 1 is traded. Parra starts the season at AAA.

Positives - All of the starting 5 have Major League starting experience. If Capuano can return to form, he could be an 18 game winner again. Bush led the team in wins the last 2 years, but had a plus 5 ERA. Vargas, if he pitchers like he is in spring training, could go deeper into games and not tax the bullpen. All of them have been relatively injury free, which could give us a stable rotation.

Negatives - there's a lot of ifs with some of these guys, and not a lot of upside. I think we've seen everything that Capuano, Supan, Bush and Vargas have to offer, but the best years are still there waiting for Parra and Villanueva. Some might say that any innings pitched but Parra in AAA are a waste of his scheduled 150 innings this year, and they have a really good point - we need all of his good innings in the majors. Capuano also may need a change of scenery. A little change just may do him some good.

It's a tough call, one that I'm glad that I don't have to make. Either way, you're going to piss someone off. The fans are even split on this decision, just take a leisurely stroll down the JSOnline Brewers Blog message boards to see that in action. I have yet to make up my decision, going with the safe "I want the best 5 pitchers in the starting rotation at all times." If I stick to my guns, that would be Sheets, Gallardo, Supan, Villanueva and Parra. Next week? Who knows.

That's why they leave speculation to the fans and decisions to the management. We just need to all unite as one and sing out, "Go go go for a little bit more, that extra effort that shows in the score. A double play, a big home run, the Brewers are brewing up a barrel of fun. So give a cheer! Let them know that you're here! C'mon now, we're gonna rock this town. C'mon Brewers, Brewers, keep turnin' up the heat. Brewers, Brewers, keep turnin' up the heat! C'mon Brewers! Milwaukee Brewers yeah yeah..."

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

WtF is up with American Idol?

When did the Tasmanian Devil join American Idol? You know, that chick with the black/blonde hair who sounds like Rod Stewart? Amanda Overmyer. That's her name. Do you know what she does (here it comes!!).... SHE REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS!!! She bothers the hell out of me! No matter what she sings, it sounds like gravel tumbling in the back of a cement truck. And you're telling me that out of hundreds of thousands of people in this country, she is one of the 12 best? In the words of Simon Cowell, that's simply appalling. I personally know more than 15 people who sing better than she does, and yet those people are working Joe jobs instead of being on TV. And it's not only her, the majority of the people on there suck balls. There's only about 3 people on there who I think are actually talented enough to be decent recording artists - Carly Smithson, David Cook, and David Archuleta (with a little love thrown in for my brotha Chikezie). I guess I'm out of touch with today's youth and what qualifies as good music, but I think that most of the people blow. I guess that is why I'm in the Travel Industry instead of in the Music Industry.

Why, oh why do I waste my time bitching about this then, if (according to today's musical standards) I have no clue what I am talking about? Because I'm trying to keep this blog current so that I can pull in some random numbers from people who aren't my friends and family. I need to up the readership on this page, and in order to do so, I need to branch out to other subjects instead of the ones that I usually cover. If this topic brings in additional viewers, I might start talking about gardening, upholstering furniture, candle making, and digging underground tunnels. You know, all of the other topics that are current in today's society.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com

Taxes Suck Balls

I just got my paycheck for the weeks of January 13-27 (we get paid biweekly and I worked a total of 109.50 hours. Every hour that I work above 40 hours a week counts as overtime, so I get paid time and a half. I should have had baller status today (payday), and my bank statement was looking rather robust, but then I got my check stub and saw that the f-ing government stole $322.13 right out of my pocket!! In the words of the great Bob Barker - "That's too much!!" That's a lot of dollars people, and for what - so that the inner city schools continue to try and turn gangsters into respectable members of society? The schools are just going to turn the kids from stupid criminals into smart criminals that rob people without getting caught. What else am I paying for? Fat politicians salaries? Clean streets? Crypto-free water? Stop lights? I know that I'm not paying for road improvements because there are more potholes on Locust between the Eastside and I-43 than the beach at Normandy. That stretch of road looks like a god damn battlefield with all of the cracks and crevices in the street. The federal government takes their share too, but what about my cut? I better be getting that back come tax day, or else there will be hell to pay, believe you me. I'm gonna be filing my taxes like a undead zombie that has undying thirst for dollars.

Update (3/12/08) - finished my taxes on Sunday, and I get a total of ~ $2,000 back from the Federal and Wisconsin government. I don't know if I should be reporting that here (there's a lot of things that can get you into trouble these days). Now that may seem like a lot of money to be receiving in one lump sum, but if you figure that I give $200 to the government every paycheck (that's $400 a month) over 1 year - that's $4,800 a year! And just from this one job! (I have two.) I know that I shouldn't be complaining, because there are probably people out there who pay more in taxes than I do, and the State/Federal governments certainly need it to do stuff to keep this country in order, or else all hell would break loose. So I understand, but I just don't like it. And since this is my blog, I'm allowed to voice my opinion. So there.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

My stomach is a jerk and I just grew a conscience

I repeat, my stomach is a jerk and I just grew a conscience.

For some reason, this seemed to be funny to me on the day that my mind came up with it. From the looks of it, I came up with this statement on the 21st of February around 2:30 pm. Judging from that time stamp, I was at work. When I'm at work, I sometimes have a little time to myself to come up with ideas and add content to my blog and my website. On the 21st, I had a really good idea that kind of went nowhere because I most likely got busy on the phones. Today (March 5) was the first day I have picked this up since then, so now i have no idea why I wrote that. So what's the point of this article then? Because that statement was, still is, and will always be hilarious. I think that the word jerk is one of the best curse words in the English. It's not terribly damaging (like some of the more hardcore curse words) and it kind of sounds funny when you say it out loud, which takes away from it's impact, allowing you to laugh it off. Think about it -

"Leave me alone, you big jerk!" , "Thanks for nothing jerk!" , "Move it or lose it, jerk!" , "What the hell's a matter with you jerk?" , "You better watch it jerk!"

I can't say it without laughing. Maybe I just have a different sense of humor that the rest of you jerks, but I wouldn't trade it for all of King Midas' Silver. If I can make myself laugh over something as silly as the word jerk, then I've accomplished my goal.

Back to the meaning of my statement. Using the Wikipedia, Nicholas Cage, and the knowledge of "top" scientists who look after the Ark of the Covenant, we have decided that this cryptic statement means that I was hungry and my emotions were beginning to sway my decisions. In fact, after deciphering that message, it's all coming back to my. My stomach was growling like the Terror Dogs in Ghostbusters, and I was getting pissed at it. "What the hell were they doing in my icebox?" Probably stealing my food, and that's why I'm hungry. Egads! I've solved the mystery! I also recall that I was having difficultly charging someone with a penalty on their vacation package because they made a mistake. I wanted to waive the penalties, but I wasn't allowed to. It was one of the first times that I actually cared for one of our customers and wanted to help them out. Normally they just piss me off cause they are stupid and ridiculously cheap. On that day, at that moment, my heart grew 3 sizes just like the Grinch and I decided to be nice. But since it was not my call, I had to charge penalties, and I ended looking like a jerk for not caring. I don't know why I suddenly grew a conscience, but it certainly didn't look like Jiminy Cricket and it didn't sing a song for me. Man, movies are f-ing bullshit. That Cricket jerk.

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

Beer Pong Evolution

You are cordially invited to attend CHBPL Beer Pong at Live

This is a call to attention to help us bring the game of Beer Pong out the basements and attics of college neighborhoods and into the view of the general public. More specifically, I'm asking for your help in making our foray into CHBPL Beer Pong at Live on North Avenue successful. Let me start with some details -

Where? Live Bar and Grill (2028 E North Ave, located next to BBC)

When? Every Wednesday night from 8:00 pm - bar close

Who? for the last few weeks, Lorge, Balkman, Denise, myself (Iceman), and a few current and former league members (Brodey, Amanda, Katie, Jenny Reck) and bar randoms

What? Beer Pong, playing on Bpong tables with a Bpong/CHBPL rule blend

Why? I shouldn't have to point this out, but judging from the lack of participation, I have to. Plain and simple - you love beer pong and you should be interested in taking the sport to the next level. Let's face it - aside from our league, beer pong in our city is embarrassingly weak (and we're the drunkest city in America, for crying out loud!) Take a second and go onto the forums at Bpong.com and scope out the posts from players on the East Coast (like Maryland and New York/New Jersey) and the West Coast (particularly Southern California.) Aside from Michigan, the Midwest doesn't have a lot of representation. We're (CHBPL founders) are doing everything we can to increase the beer pong exposure, but we need your help. We already know that you love beer pong - that's pretty evident when you show up to play on Friday nights instead of getting hammered drunk somewhere else. The skill level in this league is at an all-time high, although the participation (1 league night, plus no one shows up at Live) seems to be dwindling.

That's why we need you, the next generation of beer pongers to help us create a festive and competitive beer pong atmosphere at the bar. I don't care if if you don't like North Ave bars or enjoy paying bar prices, but we need you to come out and support our league's endeavor. I know there are some of you who are under 21, and unfortunately you can not come out and join us. I don't care if you have a fake ID - don't jeopardize our bar league by trying to be sneaky. You will get caught. We appreciate the support, but please, wait until you're grown up. As for you people who are old enough (and I'm pointing several fingers at the people who occupy the beer pong house, and the randoms who don't live there but never go to their own homes) - shame on you. It's just like when you said "We'll all go out to the World Series of Beer Pong when we turn 21!" I went, didn't see you there. Funny. You must have been wearing a disguise... But I digress, and I'll save that for another post later in the year when I round up the troops for the 4th WSoBP.

I'm going to ask you to come on out to Live on North Ave on Wednesdays to play beer pong. For it to be a success, we need people to be there and play. Randoms at the bar have started playing, and we've gotten people to come in off of the streets, but we really need more people from the CHBPL to come out every week and represent our league. I guess I can understand if you can't make it because of school or work, but here's a parting thought to entice you - I've devoted nearly 6 years of my life to this game, and beer pong has made me the man I am today.

Long story short (at work, downtime + boredom = Iceman types too much) you better be there sometime in the next few weeks or I will be sad. We've come too far to quit now when we are on the verge of beer pong greatness. But we can only do so much, and we need your help. If you truly care about the advancement of our sport, you'll come out and support our cause.

- The Iceman -

http://www.pookon.com/

Come to Live on North Ave on Wednesday nights, and shoot nothing but foam with the Iceman.

Jeopardy / Wheel of Fortune Before and After Noon

I think that I'm going to start making the titles of my blog entries resemble the popular Wheel of Fortune / Jeopardy category Before and After. The purpose of this is to display headlines that grab people's attention and sucker them in to reading my blog entry. It's just another cheap marketing ploy that I'll be employing to generate higher numbers for this site. Once I get tired of it (and trust me, I already have) I'll look for new gimmicks to draw attention to this shit. Maybe I can get some of those ridiculous flash animations, or pictures of dogs and cats cuddling together like the ones that my Mom always sends me. Maybe that will draw more people here. I just saw my stats (I do keep a counter on this blog) and they're el terrible. I mean, the freakin' cable access channel has higher ratings than me. Have you ever seen the garbage that people put up on there? I have, and it's not pretty. I guess I'm to blame for driving their ratings up then. Shame on me. Looks like I'll just have to visit my blog from multiple ip addresses on a daily basis to keep the ratings war going between myself and public access. The heat is on Time Warner Milwaukee Public Access Channel 14! How do you like the way that shit works?!?

Join with me and fight the good fight against Public Access Channel 14 and check out Pookon's Ill Blog (and our brother site Pookon's Ill Stuff) as often as humanly (and technologically) possible. If you don't, then the terrorists have won and you are being anti-American. Try living with that burden on your shoulders. I dare you to look Lady Liberty and 6 pound, 8 ounce baby Jesus right in the eyes and tell them that you don't love America. If you are an American and do your civic duty by racking up the hits on my sites, then you also love spaghetti and meatballs. And if you don't love spaghetti and meatballs, just get the hell out of here. The time has come to band together and unite in the fight against Public Access Channel 14. I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do and... FLIP OUT... all I wanna know is one thing... who's coming with me? C’mon! Who's coming with me and this fish? Who's coming with me?!?!?!?!

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/
http://pookon.blogspot.com/

This just in: Money talks more than Chris Tucker

Which makes perfect sense because in 1997, a post Friday and pre Rush Hour Chris Tucker starred in movie of said name (Money Talks). It's hard to believe that something could actually talk faster, longer, and make you understand the words that are coming out of its mouth more than Chris Tucker, but money talks baby. So what does this have to do with anything? I'll tell you. I love dollars. I like looking at dollars. I love songs about dollars. I love collecting dollars and using those dollars to buy sweet things. I envy people who have baller status and have more dollars than I do (damn you Lil' Bow Wow!). But I hate (I know it's a strong word) but I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE TRIPLE HATE the process of getting dollars (for ex., working). There's nothing more that I hate then showing up at my place of business and dealing with stupid customers. To steal a line from Randall Graves in Clerks, "This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers." I couldn't agree more.

I'm starting to get to the point where I wake up every morning depressed because I know that I have to go into work. "Stop whining, you're giving me a headache!" is what you and Arnold are saying right now. "Get a (new) job Grouch" is what you and Dave Chapelle are saying right now. I know, I should do both. But I've had so many jobs in my short life (I've been working since I got my first paper route at 15) and I know that regardless of where I work (with the exception of Miller Park) that I'll hate my job because it will always pale in comparison to that gig. The problem is that I can only work at Miller Park when the Brewers are playing a game, so that limits me to working only approximately 81 games a year. What the hell am I supposed to do with the other 284 days? I personally, can think of plenty of things to do, like drink myself retarded, go on trips, play Guitar Hero, watch movies, etc. but none of those get me the elusive dollars that I crave so much. I guess my only way out is to find a Sugar Mama (or Sugar Daddy - hey, it might be worth it if I get enough dollars so that I can swim in them like Uncle Scrooge) to ease my dollar woes. Since that is very unlikely (I'm an ugly mfer) I guess I'll just have to work for the man so that I can get some dollars.

I guess it really isn't all that bad. I could have worse things to worry about, like disease, the absence of a limb, poor living conditions, unclean water, insufficient food, and other basic living essentials that people in 3rd world countries go without. I guess I'm just a bitch for whining about stupid stuff. Oh well.

Dollars still rule the world, but I still believe that I rule a little bit too. I guess I'll try and be happy with the things that I have and stop getting upset about the things that I don't have. I'm lucky enough to have some kind of monetary possession in this world.

Until I strike it rich, I'll be sitting here making some dollars. As of yet, I haven't been able to figure out another way to resolve my unquenchable thirst for the almighty dollar. Until I figure that out - you know where to find me.

-pookon-

http://www.pookon.com/

I've been a real asshole lately

So far, I'm starting of this new year with one hell of a bang. I've been really cynical and standoffish since my return from Las Vegas. To sum it all up, I just really don't give a shit about some things anymore. I tried giving up drinking, but I found that it made me even more of an asshole because I was angry that I wasn't drinking. My current attitude has started to affect my life because I am not talking to my best friend (Joey Kanz), won't give my Mom a call even though she's been sick in bed all of last week, and am not getting along with my friends and co-workers. Sooner rather than later I'm going to alienate myself and lose all of my friends. The worst part about it is that I really don't f-ing care, nor do I give a shit about it. My upside right now (career, relationships, life, etc.) is at its all-time highest potential and I'm so close to being genuinely happy. I don't understand why I would jeopardize my life by treating other people like shit. None of this really makes sense anymore. Well, maybe this will grow out like a bad haircut. I remember once when I went to SuperCuts and they cut my hair into a flattop like Drew Carey. If I would've been wearing black thick framed glasses, I could have yelled out Cleveland Rocks! and hosted the Price is Right. It was that bad. My siblings and my parents laughed at me, and all my 14-year-old self could do was yell back "shut up!" Those were some rough times.

Well, I guess I aired it out there for a second. Hopefully that helped me get over this little snafu. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I get on the phones at work and the customers start belittling me and treating me like dirt because I work in a call center. I'll just tell them to deal with it then probably get in trouble because I'm not providing good customer service. Time will tell on that one. Well, I gots to go be mean somewhere.

Raer!

-pookon-

http://www.pookon.com/

My 2 Pennies on Mike Cameron

I've got to put out my copper Lincoln's on the free agent aquistion of center fielder Mike Cameron. As a precurser to my opinion, I must first state that I am perhaps the biggest Bill Hall fan (besides his mother). I have loved Bill Hall since he first appeared with the big league club in 2002. I immediatly appreciated his versatility and charasmatic attitude. He always looked like a genuinly nice guy in the clubhouse and took everything in stride. After all, (aside from 2007 and may-september of 2006) when he showed up at the ballpark, he didn't know what position he was playing that day (2B, 3B, SS). I don't claim to know everything that's going on in the Brewers universe and clubhouse, but it looks to me like Bill Hall has done everything the Brewers have asked of him. After all, until late, Bill Hall wins games.

My man-crush on Bill Hall puts me on the fence of the aqusition of Mike Cameron, who is a damn fine center fielder. The man has won 3 gold gloves, and a Brewer hasn't even won 1 since Robin Yount did in 1982!! We absolutley need a player of that defensive calibur! I love Ryan Braun, but his errors in 2007 hurt the team in so many ways. We only have 1 dominating strikeout pitcher (Ben Sheets) and the rest (especially Suppan and Capuano) put the ball in play and depend on the defense to back them up. That's why Suppan was so good in St. Louis and why everyone was up in arms that we paid so much money for him and we basically got an average year from him. Given a better defense, we can expect his ERA to drop from its 2007 mark of 4.62 to something more around the 4.00 mark. I can't stress enough that pitching and defense go hand in hand and pitching and defense also win ball games.

Some argue that we gave Rickie Weeks time to develop defensivly, why can't we let Ryan Braun improve at 3rd? It's cause we don't have time to wait anymore. The NL Central is at it's weakest point and we need to take advantage of that before the kids (Prince, Rickie, JJ, Corey, Ryan) all become elegible for free agency and we can't afford them anymore. We have a 3 year window in which to win a World Series, so there's no time to goof around anymore. We have to put the best team out on the field every year and every day, which means that we needed to upgrade our defense, hence the Cameron signing. Cameron in CF > Bill Hall in CF, Bill Hall at 3B > Ryan Braun 3B, and Ryan Braun = to or less than Kapler / Gross / Gywnn / Dillon so that solves our defensive deficiencies right there. I like whatever Melvin/Yost does to improve the team.

I can see Bill Hall getting traded for an established 3rd baseman who bats lefty and has a high on base percentage (something Melvin and Yost have been stressing for the entire off season), and I'll be extremely disappointed if it does. Bill Hall is awesome, and last year he struggled just a bit, but that's no reason to trade him. But at the same time, i was just 1 year old the last time the Brewers made the postseason, and I would like to see that before I die. That is why I have no reason but to back Melvin 100% and agree with his decisions. I need to see a championship team.

Is the Cameron signing a precursor to a Bill Hall trade? It might be, although it also might not be. Time will tell on that one, but it may happen just because we have too many pitchers and not enough roster space to keep them all. If some team offered a good player for a combination of Vargas/Bush/Capuano/Hall/Gwynn/Gross , I'd pull the trigger on the trade if I were Melvin and it put the finishing touches on a championship caliber team.

Bottom line - I like the Cameron signing because it makes our team better. There's no way in hell I can stomach another year of placing 2nd behind the Cubs and hear those FIBs boast about their accomplishments again. I will not stand for that kind of shit. We have to win now, and more importantly, we have to beat the Cubs because my hatred for them is more than I can bear to love with. Plus, it would be a dream come true for me to see my Brewers hoisting a World Series trophy up in the air. It's coming soon, and it's only a matter of when...

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

chiggity checkin' in b

it's morning, i'm tired, and i'm at work. i can't think of 3 worse things that could be working against me right now. come to think about it, there are some - like cancer, an extreme hangover, and midget clowns terrorizing my town. so i guess the moral of the story is that things can always be worse. but then the question comes up - what's worse than midget clowns?

sorry for that opening tirade. i just blacked out and started typing. since you are alive and reading this i'm going to go ahead and assume that you know that it is currently 2008. that means that it is a brand new year and i can start off fresh. in my efforts to try and have a semi normal life, i have abandoned writing in this blog as of late (my last post before this was like june of 2007). now that the new year is upon us, i think i'm gonna gold old school on this s and start posting again. i'll make it my new year's resolution to make at lease 1 post a week.

basically i just wanted to say that i'm back and you f-ers better watch out because i'm bringing the noise, the pain and the thunder baby! if i fail on my promise, then you have the right to hit yourself repeatedly. since i most likely will fail on the promise to post at least once a week (i'm no mathematician, but that's like 90 posts a year) just start hitting yourself right now. make sure you apologize to yourself afterwards, because we all know you really didn't want to do it, you were just being a good little pookondotcommie and listening to authority figures (me) and doing what they tell you to do without questioning.

well, that's all that i really got for now. keep checkin' in or else!!!
best regards - your loving friend and dictator -

- pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/

Yost stops tinkering, I stop bitching.

I don't really have a problem with Yost's lineup anymore; it seems as though he is keeping it consistent following interleague play on the road. He shook the lineup up because of the DH spot, which resulted in 9 positions players batting and at times featured Damian Miller and Johnny Estrada playing at the same time, and also had Counsell and Graffanino playing at the same time while Fielder DH'd. That will always cause a little hiccup in the lineup, so now that we are done with playing at AL ballparks, expect to see a stable lineup for the time being. Since the no hitter on Tuesday June 12, the Brewers have averaged 12.6 hits per game, which shows that the offense is coming around. The lineup is now settled, which gives me nothing to bitch about...for now. Until Yost tinkers again, I'm going to settle on doing a series wrap up following the final game. I'll write more if I feel like it, but stay tuned to see what I'm saying now.

-pookon-
www.pookon.com

busy last few days

I was in Minneapolis over the weekend to see the Brewers play the Twins, so I'm a bit behind on my lineups. i'll finish the last few when i get home from work tonight. Today's game (Monday) sees the debut of highly touted prospect yovanni gallardo, so we'll see how that pans out. all that and more when i recap the game when i get home from work. until then - go brewers!

pookon
www.pookon.com

Tinkering with Yost! - 6/15/07 - Lineup + Results

Number of different lineups since 6/12/07 - 4

Friday's lineup was identical to Thursday's with two minor adjustments, for no apparent reason, Graffanino and Counsell flip flopped the 8 and 9 spots, and Jenkins and Estrada flipped the 6 and 7 spots. That doesn't make any difference either way,as they are still hitting back to back. I'm impressed that Yost used a similar lineup 2 days in a row, and seeing as how the Brewer scored 6 runs on 13 hits, it's easy tosee why he kept things the same. Since I've really got nothing to gripe about, I'll talk about why this lineup was the best possible one to put out against the twins and recap Friday night's game.

Hart, RF .297
I did not realize that Hart was batting almost .300. That's simply amazing. He's been playing stellar defesnse and has really settled into that leadoff role. Rickie Weeks should be back on Monday, so it will be interesting to see what happens inthe top spot. Hart went 1-5 with a run scored and an RBI in the game, and also stole a base. He's now batting .294.

Hardy, SS .282
Hardy had a quiet day at the plate when everyone else really turned it up, but still went 1-5 with a run scored. His average now stands at .281.

Braun, 3B .314
Braun went 2-5 with a double and 2 runs scored, but he also did commit an error, his 5 of the year. I was up in the cheap seats, and his error was questionable from up there. The ball takes a wicked hop on the carpet-like turf. Look at Weeks in 05-06 compared to 07, and you'll see a vast drop in errors, so I think Braun just needs time tolearn how to play better. I'm not worried. His offesnse certainly makes up for it, he is now batting .320.

Fielder, DH .289
Fielder was DHing again, and he responded by going 2-4 with a walk, 3 runs scored, 2RBIs and a HR, which was his major league leading 24th of the year. Prince Fielder continues to show dominance over all pitchers, and is having an mvp-callibur year. Prince is a beast, and he continues to feast upon pitchers with a .292 batting average.

Hall, CF .262
Bill Hall is starting light it up again and he getting right back to where he left off last year. He went 1-4 with 2 RBIs and a walk. He still has been playing stellar defense in CF, and has raised his batting average up to .262.

Estrada, C .285
Remember a few days ago when Estrada's batting average dropped into the .260's? That's a thing of the past. Estrada has been hitting up a storm, going 3-4 with 2 runs scored and 1 RBI on Friday. He also threw a runner out trying to steal 2nd. Yes, Estrada actually threw someone out. Simply amazing. He is now batting .294, which is what we have been used to.

Jenkins, LF .272
Jenkins is getting hot again. He went 3-5 with 1 run scored and 4 RBIs, including his 12th HR of the year,which was a grand slam. He's now batting .282, up 11 points from yesterday.

Graffanino, 2B .238
Tomy went 1-4 with a run scored and will play at 1st base until Monday. He'snow batting .238, which is ok but he still can do better.

Counsell, 2B .237
Counsell went 1-4 with an RBI, and played a nice defensive 2nd base. He's still batting .237, and as long as he plays fantastic defense, he'll still be in the lineup.

The Brewers ended up with 11 runs off of 15 hits in a rout of the Twins on Friday night, and I was in Minneapolis to see it in person. There were a ton of Brewers fans there, and I was ready to dub the Metrodome Miller Park North-West. We'll see how Saturday's lineup comes together, but I am willing to bet it will be almost exactly like this one, seeing as how this lineup has pounded out a lot of hits and runs over the last 2 days. But with Yost,anything and everything is possible, so time will tell on that one. Catch you later aligator.

-pookon-
http://www.pookon.com/

Tinkering with Yost! - 6/14/07 - Lineup + Results

Number of different lineups since 6/12/07 - 3

After the win last night, the Brewers are sending their ace Ben Sheets on the mound against right hander Chad Durbin. The lineup today is very similar to yesterdays, with a few exceptions.

Hart, RF .294
Hart is still the best leadoff hitter until Weeks comes back, but many people probably expected Gwynn to be leading off today and playing right field, seeing as how they are going against a right handed hitter. I praise Yost for finally sticking with the hot hand and not playing into the matchups. Hart has prover offensively and defensively that he should be playing everyday, no matter who the opposing pitcher is. Gwynn will just have to wait until it is his time to be an everyday player.

Hardy, SS .282
No changes here, Hardyis batting where he belongs.

Braun, 3B .303
Braun struggled at the plate, going 0-3 with a walk last night, but he still is batting above .300, although in less games than the regular players.

Fielder, DH .295
Fielder is the only player on the team (with the exception of Braun) who has the plate discipline and skill to be the DH. As long as there is a decent replacement at 1B, I love having Fielder be the DH. It's kinda like having a half day off and you still have his bat in the lineup.

Hall, CF .263
This is where Hall belongs. He did bat 6th last night, and went 3-3 with a walk and 2 RBI's and 3 runs scored, account for all of the scoring offense. He raised his batting average over 10 points, and looks to be getting his offensive productivity going again. Although Gywnn is a more prototypical center fielder, Hall has been above average and has more potential to hit home runs and get RBIs, something they need more than Gywnn who has a high on base percentage.

Jenkins, LF .266
Jenkins has struggled lately, but his power numbers (11 HRs, 30RBIs) are right where you want them at this time in the season. He has been perfect in left field, and has yet to commit an error. Those stats should validate his spot in the 6 hole and his playing everyday.

Estrada, C .277
Most people are used to the Estrada that we saw at the beginning of the season - the one who easily bats over .300. people forget that he is .280 career hitter, which is better than any catcher we've had in the last few years (Chad Moeller anyone?) so johnny is once again hitting in a good spot - 7th.

Counsell, 2B .244
Counsell is good batting 8th because his on base percentage is .358, which is pretty darn good. His job is to get on base and get the pitcher's spot out of the way in a NL game, but since we are in an Al park, the pitcher doesn't hit. Hopefully Craig and Tony will continue to swing a hot bat and get on base so that the top of the order can bat them in.

Graffaninio, 1B .230
I like Tony playing 1B as long as Prince is still in the lineup (and he is, as the DH) but I never like it when Counsell and Graffanino bat back to back. Graffinino is certainly capable of batting higher than .230, but until he does you need to keep him down here.

I really don't have too much to complain about today. The top 5 in the lineup should always be set in stone (Weeks, Hardy, Braun, Fielder, Hall) but the injury to Weeks forces Hart to bat 1st instead of his normal spot 6-7. They should get a lot of offense out of this lineup, and Sheets and the bullpen should hold the Tigers under 4 runs. I guess we'll see how this game pans out.

pookon
www.pookon.com

Tinkering with Yost! - 6/13/07 - Lineup + Results

Number of different lineups since 6/12/07 - 2

Tonight's lineup is a lot like the one that I predicted, with a couple of exceptions.

Hart, RF .288
Until Rickie Weeks gets back from injury, and as long as they are playing against a left handed pitcher, Corey should be in the leadoff spot. He's not your typical leadoff player, but he has been getting on base and stealing bases, something that you want your leadoff hitter to do.

Hardy, SS .278
Perfect placement of a player with Hardy's caliber. He hopefully will put the ball into play with Hart on base. Hopefully he will get some RBI's to add to his already impressive total.

Braun, 3B .317
It's good to see Braun back into the lineup after an off day on Tuesday. You can question his defense all you want, but he has been above average so far this year. There's no doubt after the no hitter on Tuesday that we need his bat in the lineup.

Fielder, 1B .295
Everyone is waiting for Fielder to go yard so that they can make comparisons to his Dad Cecil (who played for Detroit) and reminisce about Prince's days as a young boy hitting baseballs into the stands of old Tiger Stadium. Prince is a beast, and I guarantee that he will hit one in this series.

Mench, LF .282
I predicted that Mench would play against a left handed pitcher, but I didn't expect him to bat 5th. It makes a little bit of sense, but I would still like someone who works the count and takes pitches to be hitting 5th versus Mench who swings away at the first pitch.

Hall, CF .252
The 6 spot is ideal for Bill Hall, who like JJ is struggling but still needs to play every day on account of their fantastic defense. Bill Hall has been a wonderful surprise in center field, we're just hoping that his bat gets going before this season is in the tank.

Estrada, DH .273
This one was a complete surprise to me, but now that I think about it, it makes a little more sense. He's one of your better hitters, although his is capable of having a higher batting average. While he is still struggling, it's nice to see him hitting 7th instead of 5th.

Miller, C .226
I really didn't expect Miller to be getting the start today, seeing as Estrada is a switch hitter and there is a day game tomorrow. I want Jenkins to play every day, because he is a far better defender than Kevin Mench, but since Miller is starting, that gives you little options for a DH, which is why I think Estrada is in there instead of Jenkins or Mench.

Graffanino, 2B .230
Until Weeks comes back off the DL, someone has to play 2nd base, and it might as well be Tony. Counsell is a natural shortstop, while Tony has been a 2nd baseman for most of his career. I'd rather have him there, plus it gets his right handed bat in the lineup. Graffanino should never hit higher than 7th, so I like him batting 9th tonight.

We'll see how this all pans out during the course of the game, but I'll be back later to post my observations and results of tonight's lineup.

Hart 2-4, double and a walk
Hardy 2-4
Braun 0-3, walk
Fielder 1-3, R, walk
Mench 0-4
Hall 3-3, 2R, 2RBI, walk
Estrada, 2-4
Miller 0-4, RBI
Graffinino 1-4

Brewers took some walks and put up 11 hits, but stranded a lot of men on base throughout the game. they kept the strikeouts down (3) but failed to come through with clutch hits with runners in scoring position. They scored 2 of the 3 runs via the homerun, which has been a problem of late, and they also only scored 3 runs in the ball game. Luckily, the pitching staff held the Tigers to 2 runs, but that wwill not always be the case. A big shoutout goes to Carlos Villanueva, who came in last minute for Capuano, and Carlos pitched well for 5 innings, giving up only 1 run. This offense did just enough to win the game, but they need to score more runs if they plan on beating good teams like Detroit. They got lucky this time.

-pookon-
www.pookon.com

Tinkering with Yost! - 6/12/07 - Lineup + Results

Number of different lineups since 6/12/07 - 1

I've become increasingly more upset with Ned Yost's lineups for the Milwaukee Brewers as the season goes on. For a team that is struggling offensively, he finds it necessary to keep switching his players every day and not offering any continuity for his players. I believe in spontaneity and randomness, but we all need stability in our livers or else we'd all go crazy. I think the same goes for ballplayers, who are famous for their routines and superstitions. You would think that stability in the lineup would be something that they would be totally supportive of. Maybe they are, but Yost does it anyway. But maybe they like Yost tinkering with the lineup. Since I don't know, I'm going to present the lineup everyday, offer my thoughts, and state the results of that lineup. Without further ado, here is the lineup for The Tuesday June 13 game against the Detroit Tigers in Detroit.

(Note - they are playing in an AL Ballpark and they will be using a DH instead of allowing the pitcher to hit, which will significantly alter the lineup.)

Counsell, 3B .244
With Rickie Weeks on the DL, Counsell and Gwynn are the most probable leadoff hitters. They've been using Hart there lately, but you can't play Gwynn, Jenkins, Hall, and Hart on the same day, so I feel like if Gywnn is in the lineup, Hart can't be, so I agree with this choice for this game only. Braun should be playing 3B every day, but everyone needs a day off here and there.

Graffanino, 2B .230
Graffanino should never be batting in front of or behind Counsell. They're both hitting under .250 and have a combined total of 22 RBI's. That ghastly. One of them has to play 2nd while Weeks is out, but I don't like Tony batting 2nd.

Hardy, SS .278
Hardy has been struggling lately, but he still has to play every day. He is ideal for the 2nd or 3rd spot in the lineup, so I agree with this.

Fielder, 1B .295
Prince should always bat 4th. Enough said.

Hart, RF .288
Hart makes a good 5 hitter because he has power and speed. I like this.

Jenkins, LF .271
Geoff should be hitting 7th or 8th, which is why I am fine with his placement here.

Estrada, C .277
Yost used to bat Estrada 5th, which worked out fine when he was swinging a hot bat. Lately, he has been a rally killer because he swings at the first pitch and hits into double plays. If he isn't going to patient at the plate, he deserves to hit 7th or 8th.

Hall, CF .252
Hall isn't playing as well as he can, but that hasn't been a problem. For the time being (until he heats up) he should be batting 7th or 8th. Ideally, he is better suited 5th or 6th.

Gross, DH .200
Gabe should not be on this team PERIOD. We already have too many left handed bats on the team and an excess of outfielders. Batting .200 does not help the team at all. His spot would be better filled with another arm in the bullpen or even a comfy armchair in the dugout.

The results of this lineup?

Suppan pitched a decent game, but you all know by now that the Brewers got no-hit by Justin Verlander. Bill Hall managed to draw 3 walks, but nothing else was accomplished by this lineup. I'll give credit where credit is due and say that Verlander threw one hell of a game, but he was getting some bogus strike calls in the 8th and 9th innings.

The Brewers are going against Left-hander Mike Maroth, which means that Yost will stacking his lineups with righties, so his lineup will include Graffino and Mench.

Expect this lineup to be radically different (knowing Yost) for Wednesday's game, but if I had to choose it, this is how it would be:

Hart, RF
Hardy, SS
Braun, 3B
Fielder, 1B
Hall, CF
Jenkins, LF
Estrada, C
Graffino, 2B
Mench, DH

There's no way that It's going to be like that, but I can only hope. I'll be back later tonight to give the lineup for the Wednesday June 13 game and provide the results from that lineup.

Go Brewers!
- pookon -
http://www.pookon.com/

Beer Pong On the Rocks - A Veteran's Insight - by Iceman (Week 6)

Beer Pong on the Rocks
By: Iceman
Week 6 – “A beer pong player looks at 25."

I’m going to start out by explaining my articles this season. I had two purposes in wanting to write a column for this league. 1 - I felt like I had some good knowledge to pass on to other players, and 2 – I wanted to chronicle this season for myself so that I would remember it at a later date. I’ve been really straightforward with #1 (as seen with my lesson of the week in the past 5 articles) at times, but I’ve also been a little subtle with some of the other things I have learned about beer pong. #2 is something that I have done with my website for the past 5 years, and it is also something that I need to explain to the people who have questioned the content of my beer pong articles this season.

I have a really poor memory coupled with the fact that I have a short attention span. Because of this, I take tons of pictures and keep journals (in paper form and online) so that I can remember things that happen in my life. The content on my website, blog and this season’s Beer Pong on the Rocks articles are written for me to look back upon at a later date. I try to include relevant information for family, friends and also the stranger who stumbled upon it, but it is mostly for me. Let’s be honest here, most of you probably haven’t even visited my website, know nothing of my blog, nor have you taken the time to read my articles because they are all about Iceman and they are far too long. I know this people. One thing that I have always been is a pessimistic realist. Which is why I write for myself and not the general public. Years from now you will have forgotten that I wrote an article during season 7, but that’s exactly when I will revisit it and relive the memories. I’d apologize for my actions, but I don’t feel the need to.

And now I have some information for the beer pong players out there. I want to take a minute to talk about the dangers of beer pong. Dangers you say? It’s just a game, and a silly game at that. This is just another instance where Iceman pretends that beer pong is a serious sport and not just a goof around game amongst friends. But ladies and gentlemen, beer pong is a dangerous game. I’ll provide a short list of examples as to why I feel this is the case, but I’m sure that there are many many more. I’ve been sugar coating this game for 5 weeks now, and now it is time to look at the dark side of beer pong. I sense that you fear the dark side. Do not fear, for fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you. You fear the danger in beer pong because:

1. beer pong ruins lives
2. beer pong ruins friendships and relationships
3. beer pong ruins clothing
4. beer pong causes temporary and long term injuries
5. beer pong turns men into monsters
6. beer pong leads to poor decisions

1 – beer pong has made me the man I am today. Take a good look at me and you’ll certainly agree; I’d probably be better off without the heavy drinking. A couple drinks here and there aren’t so bad, but playing 30 games in one night and then spending the next day hung over and throwing up probably isn’t very good for your body. In the 4 years that I’ve been playing this game, I can’t count how many times I’ve been hung over and had to cancel plans, call in sick to work, or disappoint my friends and family because I forgot to show up somewhere important.

2 – beer pong has allowed me to make a lot of friends, but it has also cost me a lot of friends. I used to hang out with a different crowd until beer pong. I had a lot of friends, and then drinking and shooting ping-pong balls at beer cups became more important than anything else. Before long, my entire life was beer pong and my friends had moved on. I am grateful for the people I have met in league, but I also miss the people who I left behind when this game took over. I also find it hard to cheer for/against some people because they are my friends. It then becomes a question of who would I rather see win. Obviously, both teams cannot win; there are no ties in beer pong. If two of my friends square off, for me it’s a lose/lose situation when it comes to cheering. I should just keep my mouth shut. But we all know that it doesn’t happen that way.

3 – This one is humorous take on danger, but is something that should still be noted. Often when you step away from the table, you will look down and notice that you have contracted a wicked case of BPL, which stands for Beer Pong Leg. Spilled beer can sometimes accumulate on the table, and if not squeegeed properly, it can damage your clothing and leave a stain. Join the fight against BPL and remember to squeegee the table as often as necessary.

4 – Just like any other sport, injuries often come into play. Short-term injuries, like Brodey pulling a hamstring, sometimes sideline a person for a few shots or the remainder of the game. Long term injuries, like the over consumption of alcohol coupled with driving could lead to unwanted injuries. Hopefully everyone is smart and lucky enough to avoid long term, life-threatening injuries.

5 – Beer pong can turn men into monsters. Unfortunately, alcohol has the ability to bring out the worst in us. I wish that I could take back some of the things I’ve said or done under the influence, but those things are irreversible. If you’re not careful, you can lose everything with one simple word or action.

6 – quick drinking can lead to poor decisions, like not knowing when to quit while you’re ahead. It doesn’t seem like you’re drinking a lot because you’re only taking sips of beer at a time, but the rate that you are doing them is catastrophic. And then bam! You just got hit by a runaway locomotive.

You might not fall prey to the 6 dangers of beer pong that I have mentioned, but I mention them because at age 25, all of these dangers have the ability to terminate my game. Another reason why I wrote this article is because before this season, I had decided that this was going to be my last season of beer pong. I figured that I would introduce Joey Kanz to this league, graduate college, go for one last hurrah at the World Series of Beer Pong 2, then grow up and become an adult. I had seemingly lost my love for the game, and no longer cared about beer pong. Around week 4, I started to realize all of the things that I loved about it, and I am now playing the best I ever have in my career.

This season, I have overcome the biggest hurdle in my beer pong career – I have curbed the mental instability that used to be my downfall. I did it first by using the Baggar Vance method, and then seconded it by finally beating Brodey in beer pong. I consider Brodey to be the Godfather, my mentor, and by finally beating him in an important game, I feel like I am no longer the student; I am a colleague. This is a very important step for me, and I am now 100% confident in my beer pong ability.

As for Baggar Vance, I often settle down before my shot and remember that inside each and every one of us is one true authentic shot. It’s something' we were born with, something that's ours and ours alone. It’s something that can't be taught or learned, it’s something that has to be remembered. If you ever forget that shot, you just have to settle down and feel that focus. You have a lot of shots to choose from, but there's only ONE shot that's in perfect harmony with the table. One shot that's yours, your authentic shot, and that shot is gonna choose you. There's a perfect shot out there tryin' to find each and every one of us, all we have to do is get ourselves out of its way and let it choose us. You can't see those cups as some dragon you got to slay; you got to look with soft eyes. See the place where everything comes together, where everything that is, becomes one. You have got to seek that place with your soul, seek it with your hands and don't think about it; feel it. Your hands are wiser than your head is ever gonna be. That’s when I find my one true authentic shot.

Once I do this, the room becomes quiet and I no longer see the people on the other side of the table, all that I see is the beer inside of the cup. From there it just becomes a battle of me vs. the game. I’m the only one who can control whether I win or lose, and I feel like I am in complete control of the game at all times. The point of this all is that I feel the best that I ever have in beer pong, and I hope that one day you can all feel like I do.

Once again I’m a little behind on this article, so I can’t wish you all good luck in the playoffs because all but 8 teams have been eliminated. To those 8 teams – good luck and Godspeed. May you play well unless you happen to be playing my team…

Iceman’s lesson of the week - beer pong is a dangerous game. You might have been lucky enough to avoid danger thus far, but trust me; it’s out there waiting for you. Someday in the near future you will cross paths with danger. I can only hope that you are able to recognize it and handle it properly.

You know what really grinds my gears? – the short beer pong season. I understand that it can only be 6 weeks long in order for the season to wrap up before Thanksgiving, but I feel like it went by too quick. Now that some teams are eliminated from the playoffs, there’s a strong chance that some of those people won’t be there on league night. I know that there are some people who played in the league this year who I have yet to meet, and I apologize for not taking the time to stop and chat. I guess I’m too old and set in my ways to make the attempt to meet new people. I thank you for understanding. Friday night is just too short for me to play pong, get drunk, catch up with old friends and make some new ones. I’ll make an extra effort to get to know you if you come back next season.

Iceman’s shout outs –

Skemp – for your awesome Halloween costume. For those of you who missed it, Skemp went as Mr. Rogers. His wardrobe was spot on, plus he had gray hair and a nametag that said Hello Neighbor. I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween, but if more people took the effort to come up with a creative costume, I might be able to warm up to this holiday.

Brodey – for taking me under your wing and teaching me everything about beer pong. Although I’ve learned all I can from you, I still respect and look up to you. I am no longer your apprentice, but I will still call you the Godfather in recognition of your accomplishments in this league. You know it’s true, everything I do, I do it for you.

Everyone in league – thanks for helping to make this season spectacular. I had a great time and it looked like everyone else did the same. I could never have foreseen the league operating as it does today based upon the first 2 seasons. People like you help make this league successful. Take care, and I hope to see you all back again for Season 8.

Casey and Lorge – it is my understanding that the both of you are moving on from this league and handing the reins of day-to-day operations to the next generation. This league didn’t create itself, it needed careful planning and maintenance to blossom into what it has become. You’ve both done a fine job, and I hope that you will continue to participate, even if it is in a supporting role.

Well, it’s time for me to rock and ride my friends, so I guess I’ll see you next time.

Until then –

I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin', Got to go fishin',
I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.

– Iceman –
www.pookon.com

Beer Pong On the Rocks - A Veteran's Insight - by Iceman (Week 5)

Beer Pong on the Rocks

By: Iceman

Week 5 – “I think were alone now. There doesn’t seem to be anyone around. I think were alone now. The hitting of the cups is the only sound.”

It’s all happening. This article is a think piece about a mid-level team struggling with their own limitations in the harsh face of stardom. We’ll get to that later, but for now I want to talk about beer pong atmosphere. When and where you play beer pong can significantly alter your game play. There’s a world of difference between playing on a league night vs. any other night of the week. So was the case in week 5 when Joey Kanz and I took on Donny and Gev of team Starsky and Clutch. We were facing some stiff competition, for I had heard from Skemp and Keith that Donny was dynamite on their home table. Although this was his first season, Gev has proven himself in the past to be a stellar player in a substitute role. We had learned from our match against Anthony and Dave not to look too deeply into stats, for the only thing that mattered was your game play in that given night. That’s why you have to take beer pong one game at a time.

In order to beat the team we were playing against this week (in this case Donny and Gev) we had to treat it like our most important game of the season. We had to play on Thursday night because one of them could not make it Friday, and that may have helped us secure the victory. It helped us that there was no one around (aside from the house residents) to cheer against us. I don’t need anyone cheering for me to perform well; my inner voice takes care of that. I also have the greatest cheerleader in Joey Kanz at my side. His game play gives me all of the confidence that I need to play my best.

Since the majority of you missed our game, here’s what you missed. We beat them in game 1 and everyone on the table shot well. Game 2 started with Donny and Gev going 7 for 7, but then they lost by 2-3 cups because the game is not over until the kill shot is hit. Once we combined them, we must have only missed 1 shot as a team and finished with high shooting percentages. Over 2 games, I shot 54.55, Kanz shot 66.67 and we split the kills. This was the first time that we had both shot over 50% in the same week, and Joey Kanz – your shot…was incendiary.

The atmosphere changes the way that you play because you adapt to your surrounding and respond to the environment. Have you ever noticed that sometimes you shoot lights-out in exhibition but then bottom-out in league play? It’s because in exhibition there is nothing at stake. You might say that pride is at stake, and the winner stays on the table rule makes you want to win if you want to keep playing, but I don’t believe in any of that new-age hooey. If you do lose, there’s always room on the sign-up sheet, no matter how long it is. There’s always another night, there’s always another table to play on, and although there’s no time for love, there’s always more time for beer pong Dr. Jones. When we played on Thursday before a handful of people, it seemed like the pressure we brought upon ourselves was gone, and we were able to play our own style of beer pong. When we are truly allowed to play our game, we cannot be beaten. Friday night is a whole different story because everyone in league is there (with a few exceptions of course) and everyone knows how you performed that night. If you’re expected to do well, you don’t want to let everyone down by playing poorly. Sometimes you over think and rush your shot, and that is when you cease to play your style of beer pong and start to play somebody else’s game. You are the only person who can control your own game on any given night, and it is up to you to live up to your own expectations. Screw what everyone else has to say, just go out there and make sure you are satisfied with what you have done on the table.

I’m going to take a moment to talk about the 1^st World Series of Beer Pong. The atmosphere there was so much different than anywhere I have ever played. First off, we played inside of a convention center and up to 16 tables were going at the same time. Because I wasn’t the only one playing, I knew that there weren’t too many eyes watching and critiquing my performance. We made it quite obvious that we were from Milwaukee, but no one really knew anything about who I was or how I played on the table. Day 1 came and went and I still was just another face in the crowd. On Day 2, Fresno Chris and I started playing like true Milwaukee Beer pongers – we kicked some major ass. Our 6-0 showing on day 2 brought us more attention than I was ready for, and the bright spotlight upon me cause me to shy away and search for a dark corner. I’m ready to admit it now; I fell apart in the WSoBP playoffs because I let the pressure get to me. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone who believed in me that they had backed the right horse, and to also show everyone who doubted me that they were wrong. As soon as the attention began to focus on me, the entire atmosphere changed and my game had changed with it. The slight change in atmosphere altered my performance. If you take anything away from this, take this lesson with you – you are the only one who has control over what you do on the beer pong table. You and only you are to blame for your performance, be it good or bad. Every time that you go out there, play the best that you can and you will always be satisfied. If you shoot 75% and lose to someone who shot 80%, it really sucks, but you did the best you could. You got beat by someone who was better. Take solace in the fact that you were in control of your own destiny, and go out there and do it again next time. Remember – in beer pong you can do or do not; there is no try.

If you’re good at beer pong, you’re going to have friends like crazy, but they’re gonna be fake friends. You cannot make friends with these people. They’re gonna try and corrupt you. They are going to ruin beer pong and strangle everything we love about it. They are trying to buy respectability for a form that is gloriously and righteously dumb. The day that beer pong ceases to be dumb is the day that it ceases to be real. And then it just becomes an industry of cool. We’re coming along at a very dangerous time in beer pong. I think that you should just turn around and play something else, like connect four, but I can tell from your face that you won’t. You have to make your reputation on being honest and unmerciful. And just remember, if anyone makes fun of you for caring so much about this game and making it your lifestyle, you’ll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

Some people have a hard time explaining beer pong, really explaining beer pong. That’s ok, because beer pong is a lifestyle and a way of thinking. And it’s not about money and popularity, although some money would be nice. It’s a voice that says, “here I am, and fuck you if you can’t understand me.” One of these people is gonna save the world; and that means that beer pong can save the world. And the chicks are great. What it all comes down to is that thing, the indefinable thing when people catch something from your beer pong playing. What I’m talking about is the buzz. And the chicks, the whatever, is an offshoot from the buzz. You saying that you like Balkman’s quick shot kill? That is the fucking buzz!

On the whole, I’d say most of the fuck-ups in the world come from the brain, not the instincts. My whole thing is to try and make my brain go away, but I can’t, except on the beer pong table. The brain should be a softening influence on the instincts, but the instincts should drive. Trying to reconcile the brain with urges that come out of millions of years ago, the way the brain interprets these instincts, is a heavy trip. Usually I’m brain, and Kanz is instincts. But on the days when we’re both instinct, that’s when we’ve played the beer pong people know best, because…it’s the best. Show me any guy who ever said he didn’t want to be popular, and I’ll show you a scared guy. I’ve studied every player in beer pong; most of the time the best stuff is the popular stuff. It’s much safer to say popularity sucks, because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don’t forgive myself, do you?

Someone once told me that I am too sweet for beer pong. Where do they get off? Where do they get sweet? I am dark and mysterious and pissed off. And I could be very dangerous to all of you. I am not sweet. And you should know that about me. I AM THE ENEMY!!!

You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong. They make you feel cool. And hey, I met you. You are not cool. We're uncool. And while beer pong will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their beer pong skill never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter. Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start. The only true currency in this bankrupt world if what we share with someone else when we're uncool. My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful

I always tell my friends to never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you step up to the beer pong table and visit your friends (the beer cups).

So what do I love about beer pong? To begin with, everything…
It’s all happening…

Iceman’s lesson of the week – You have to take beer pong one game at a time. Every game you play should be treated like your most important game ever. After you get past that game, then you can worry about the upcoming one. Failure to do so will warrant unwanted results. I know over the course of the season I have been giving away too much in my lessons, but I feel that the time is right to dispense this knowledge. You know how I play my game, and you can either apply it to you own game or use it against me. The choice is entirely yours, and I hope you make the right decision.

You what really grinds my gears? – putting on one hell of a show and no one shows up to watch it. I’m sure that everyone by now realizes that I am a consistent beer pong player, and I will produce everything that I advertise to do. Stop watching me; I’ve done all that I can for this game. You need to pay attention to Joey Kanz and watch him light up the table and make cups. This kid is unbelievable, and he’s not even old enough to legally drink! You can say that about a few other people (Mike Roberts and Christian come to mind) but neither of them has done what he has done in his rookie year. I don’t mean this to be condescending, but Mike Roberts shot 37.17% in his rookie season, and Christian shot 43.35%. Joey Kanz finished his rookie year at 53.69%. Although this is the week 5 article, the season is already over; I have the knowledge base to make these claims. This marks the first time that lateness and procrastination has worked in my favor.

Iceman’s shout-outs –

Cameron Crowe – for letting me “borrow” quotes and lines from Almost Famous, even though you have no idea that I did use them. I did it as an homage and I never intended it to be otherwise. I love your movie and I count it as one of my top 5 of all time. Your writing style and characters have inspired me, and I am moved every time I watch it.

Donny and Gev – for playing one hell of a game. Balkman picked you guys to win in three games in his week 5 Bracket Buster Breakdown article, and I honestly believe that if we had gone to game 3, you would have. After a tough game 1 loss, you came out shooting 7 for 7 in game 2, only to have us rally back and beat you. I knew it was a tough loss for you guys, but understand that we had to pull off a miracle to beat you. You really had me scared that neither of you would miss in game 2, and I was ready to trash game 2 and prepare for game 3. Thankfully I didn’t have to make that decision, and I wish you all the best in the playoffs unless you happen to play against Kanz and I. Good luck.

Well, it’s time for me to rock and ride my friends, so I guess I’ll see you next time. Until then -

You can tell Rolling Stone Magazine that my last words were, “I’m on drugs!!”
Well, I think that I should work on those last words, so I’ll say, “I dig music…”
No? “I’m on drugs!!!!”

– Iceman –

www.pookon.com

Beer Pong On the Rocks - A Veteran's Insight - by Iceman (Week 4)

Beer Pong on the Rocks

By: Iceman

Week 4 – “I'd be tender, I'd be gentle, and awful sentimental, regarding love and art.

I'd be friends with the sparrows ... and the boy who shoots the arrows

If I only had a heart.”

Someone always steals my thunder. That’s the story of my life. Every time that I come up with an original idea, it always turns out that someone has already done it and I come off as nothing but a cheap imitation. That was about to change in week 4 when I told my partner Joey Kanz that the most important element in beer pong is heart. You gotta have heart of you ever expect to win at beer pong. The Tin Man feels hollow and goes on a quest to find it. What he realized in the end was that he had heart all along and he just needed to look in the right place. I can’t be mad at Joey Kanz for taking my best ideas (although he did credit me for my statement in his week 3 rookie diary article when he prematurely gave away my week 4 lesson.) You can never expect to win if your heart is not in the game. My biggest problem this season was the fact that I no longer was excited to play the game. I had lost my love for beer pong. When Friday night rolls around, I head to the beer pong house to step up to the table out of pure habit; this is what I have known to be reality over the last 2 years of my life. My life has not been without beer pong since I was a 20-year-old sophomore at UWM and a rookie in the Dining Services department of the Union.
You all know the history of our humble beginnings, but I’ll tell you a little bit of my perspective of this league. I had first heard about an organized beer pong league shortly after I had started working at the Union, but did not want to give up my Friday nights for a silly little drinking game. That now is on my list of regrets, as I did not play in the 1^st season, yet I was there every Friday nights to hang out and watch every game. I am thankful to have been there since the beginning, but I cannot say that I was a part of the league when it was in its infancy. That is one of the reasons why I still play today because I feel like I still have enough to offer the members of this league.
When season 7 began, I was in the league simply because I wanted to give a rookie (Joey Kanz) the opportunity to play competitive beer pong and to interact with other people who loved the game as much as he did. I saw a lot of myself in him. I knew that without me, he would not be allowed to play in this league because he didn’t have any connections. This once again proves that it is not what you know, but rather whom you know. It was my duty as a veteran to allow someone to experience to pure joy of playing competitive pong. Heh heh, duty. Although I am old, I can still laugh at unintentionally funny words like the penal system, insert, extend and titular. I’ll never be too grown up to not crack a smile whenever those words are mentioned. Funny as it may sound, it all comes back to having heart.
Although sometimes I felt like I had given up on beer pong, I always found out that beer pong had never given up on me. There comes a time in one’s life when you have to grow up and let go of all of the silly childish things (beer pong) that have hindered you from being a member of “cultured” society. I felt like that time was now, but then I remembered how fun this game is and how much I enjoy playing, and beer pong is there waiting for me to play. We don’t choose our lives, our lives choose us, and that is why I still play after 5 seasons and why I will still be there for the World Series of Beer Pong II, Season 8, and the World Series of Beer Pong III. That’s right, you heard it right here ladies and gentlemen. Regardless of the outcome of this season, I will be back in Spring 2007 to once again play my little heart out on the plywood. And for those of you heading out to Mesquite, Nevada for the 1st time in January 2007 and January 2008 – guess who will be behind you during you matches cheering you on – me. That’s right, the Iceman will be there to give you moral and emotional support as you crush the competition that has come from around the globe with the sole purpose of defeating you. We’re not going to let that happen because everyone from Milwaukee has your back, and no one will represent for you like I will. And that you can print in Rolling Stone Magazine!
Sometimes your heart can get you into a little trouble. Before you start worrying that I’m going to pour out my emotions to you, I’m going to keep it all about beer pong. I think that it goes without saying that I’ve made a lot of friends in this league, and the hardest thing about Friday nights is the fact that I may have to play against one of my friends and take a victory away from them. That’s pretty easy to do usually because I’d rather have a victory for my team instead of making another person feel better about themselves. As they say, all’s fair in love and beer pong. The hardest part is when four of my really good friends face off across the table from each other and I have to choose who I’d rather see win. It’s true that you can try to root for both sides, but that rarely goes as planned. You tend to cheer louder or more often for one rather than the other and people’s feelings get hurt. The reason that I point this out is because I am sorry if I ever broke your heart by cheering against you. In week 4 I noticed this when Roberts and Erin played against the Joshes. I feel as though I root against Roberts more than I do for him, so next time I’ll promise to root for him.

Iceman’s lesson of the week – you gotta have heart if you expect to win in beer pong. If heart isn’t enough to guarantee a victory, then I suggest a dose of practice as well. Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription… is more heart! I gotta have more heart!

You know what really grinds my gears? – people who doubted me. I know that there are some of you out there who picked me to fail this year. Shame on you. I know that I’m old and quite possible past my prime, but I still have the potential to turn it up when I have to. In week 4, I shot a dead 60%. While some of you may scoff at that number and say that a blind monkey could do that while sipping espresso, I think that that is quite admirable regardless of your tenure in the league. Guess what everyone – I still got it. I still have enough heart to break out and kick some ass on the table. I sure hope that you don’t line up cross-court from me when I possess enough heart to sweep over a love-starved third-world country. Heart will trump skill any day.

Iceman's shout-outs -

Keith - fir giving me the best one-liner of the night. We played a little exhibition together, and Keith and I were discussing missing just one shot. I told him that I only had missed one shot, and without hesitation, he replied, “It was a big shot!” For those of you who are unfamiliar with the movie reference, this comes from Meet the Parents when Larry Banks (James Rebhorn) insults Greg Focker’s (Ben Stiller) water volleyball performance. It was totally unexpected and I’m glad that I have devoted my life to watching movies so that I could see the humor in his statement.

Sailor Jerry – for helping me to relax and for giving me the confidence that I needed to take home a victory in week 4. It’s always an adventure when we go out sailing.

Balkman – for having the biggest heart of almost anyone I know. Ever since I started working for you in the Terrace, I’ve referred to you as the Heart (Aris is the Brains) and both work in order to keep everything functioning properly. I don’t want to sound gay or anything, but I cannot count how many times you have cheered me up with a hug, whispered sweet reassuring comments into my ear, said you loved me and actually meant it and made me feel lucky to be your friend. You’ve always been there for me Mr. Balkman, and I value all of the time we spend together. I know that everyone is jealous (especially Josh Hansen and Matthew Overby) that I get to hang out with Balkman all day long. In case you were wondering, it rocks.

Spencer/Dan – upon meeting you guys before our match, you told me that you had heard of me and my presence in the league. Normally that would have put a little pressure on me but I have learned that this is a sign of respect and that you would continue to think the same of me if I didn’t play up to your expectations. After the game, you were really cool about your loss, and I commend you on how you both handle the game and its many twists and turns. Well done sirs, and I wish you luck on the rest of the season.

Joey Kanz – even though you stole my idea I can’t be mad because it shows that you were listening to me. When I started teaching you everything that I knew about beer pong, I never expected you to actually listen to and follow my examples. I know that you have experienced so much in beer pong in a little period of time, but I feel like there are some things about this game that I need to tell you and in some way, pass them on to the next generation. When you get to be my age, you’ll realize how cool it is that someone actually cares about what I have to say. You really have made me proud to be your partner this season.

I really should be more prompt in writing these articles because I know that I am always missing out on something. Week 5 has already come and gone while I am still putting the finishing touches on week 4, so I apologize if I missed anything important.

Well, it’s time for me to rock and ride my friends, so I guess I’ll see you next time.

Until then –

I’m the teacher, man, you’re the student.

Close your ears if you feel you’re prudent

And can’t deal with the lyrics I’m steppin’ with

But they’re the lines the people are gettin’ with

A lesson well taught, here’s some more advice

I don’t sweat it on the mic

’cause I’m cool as ice.

- Iceman -
www.pookon.com