The title of this article pretty much says it all. I've been waiting all month for a picture and a title that stands alone (like the cheese!) and doesn't need any explanation. The last time I stumbled upon something this good was waaaaay back on October 1st with Caution Hole. I didn't feel the need to say anything about that because hole is just funny on its' own, but it was my first entry (heh heh, entry) and I had to describe what I was doing this month with Pickle the Day. Yesterday I was doing some yardwork over at my Mom's house and I had to dig up this dead bush in the garden. Since it was wood I decided that I should burn it because wood burns. Look, I can put two and two together folks. I may not be that smart, but when it comes to burning things I'm a god damned genius. I can't give myself too much credit though because I think everyone knows that. I'm a natural pyro. I will burn just about anything I get my ash covered hands on. I have requests out to most everyone that I know if I can burn their things when they are done using them. For example - my Mom's neighbor's fence. It's falling apart and every year they talk about replacing it. And when they do, I offered to take it off of their hands so I can have a fence burning party. My Dad has a giant broken tree limb that I offered to take piece by piece as soon as the tree guy cuts it down. I will have enough wood to last the summer with that thing. I scour the alleys for things to burn and I often find some unusual things that will light up the backyard. If it will burn, I will throw it into the fire.
That's pretty much it. Did you see that bush? Gross, right? Good thing that I got rid of it because it was starting to upset the delicate nature of things. Plus I had a bunch of other things to burn so it gave me something to do with my afternoon. I had a beautiful fall day, some whiskey and a fire. Is there really anything else better in life? Those three things just go hand in hand. If I had it my way I would do that every day but I would probably use up all of the wood on the planet and life would suck because all of the trees would be gone. Have you ever read The Lorax? Things didn't work out so well in that book. Since my knowledge of all things is either based on movies or things I learned when I was a kid, I know that you can't just burn things all day, every day. There are consequences to those actions so like every other aspect of life, moderation is the key. So while you won't find me having a fire every day, I promise I will I have one every time the opportunity presents itself. One thing I will have every day (albeit only for the last few remaining days in October) is a new pickle to share with you. There's a whole jar of them out there. Well at least unless that jar is made out of wood. In that case I have probably already burned it.
- pookon -
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