When I first started this series in 2010 I did one article a day for 25 Days with each one being on a player who I thought would make the 2010 Opening Day Roster. 2011 was probably my best year as I added a video each day featuring some of my family and friends who were gracious enough to join me in my tomfoolery. 2012 kind of snuck up on me so I couldn't do one a day anymore so I created 3 massive articles that took forever to write and probably forever to read. Since I like to make some kind of change every year, in 2013 I'm going to do things a little bit differently. I'm still going to profile 25 players (and I'll probably stick in a couple more because there are still some players battling for spots) but I'm going to separate them into smaller categories: The Infield, The Outfield, The Starting Rotation and The Bullpen. I'm pretty sure every player can be sorted into those spots but as you will see in the coming weeks that some of them fit into more than one category and will be asked to do that in the coming season. Flexibility will be key for the team this year but let's start out with the group that's already set in place for Opening Day - The Infield.
For the most part the infield is set. Corey Hart and Mat Gamel's injuries do open the door door for a couple of players to start the season on the 25 man roster so I will be profiling more players than there will be spots for. I'm guessing there will be 2 backup infielders behind those 4 starters so you'll get a good amount of players in the infield once you add the 2 catchers to that mix. There will be some fluctuations until Corey Hart comes back from his knee injury but after that it's going to be pretty solid. I expect the infield to stay the same all season with the exception of injury. I'm confident with the guys out there even though defense is unfortunately going to be an issue again. But all of these players are plus in the offensive categories so the goal is to score more runs than we give up. Makes sense, right? I guess now it's time to meet your 2013 Milwaukee Brewers infield.
For the most part the infield is set. Corey Hart and Mat Gamel's injuries do open the door door for a couple of players to start the season on the 25 man roster so I will be profiling more players than there will be spots for. I'm guessing there will be 2 backup infielders behind those 4 starters so you'll get a good amount of players in the infield once you add the 2 catchers to that mix. There will be some fluctuations until Corey Hart comes back from his knee injury but after that it's going to be pretty solid. I expect the infield to stay the same all season with the exception of injury. I'm confident with the guys out there even though defense is unfortunately going to be an issue again. But all of these players are plus in the offensive categories so the goal is to score more runs than we give up. Makes sense, right? I guess now it's time to meet your 2013 Milwaukee Brewers infield.
Corey Hart #1, 1B
2013 Prediction: .265 batting average, 18 HRs, 52 RBIs, 115 games played and a 1 way ticket out of town at the end of this season.
Although Corey Hart will miss the first month + of the season due to knee surgery (I would expect for him to make his first start during the first of second week of May) he's the starting first baseman when he returns. One of the strengths of the 2013 Milwaukee Brewers in the outfield is speed and defense, both of which Corey Hart is lacking at this point in his career. He has lost a lot of speed over the last few years (apparently he didn't feel the need for it anymore. Maverick would be so disappointed) and he never seemed like a natural outfielder. Sure he was serviceable, but so is a discount prostitute. They'll get the job done but it's not going to be pretty. When he moved to first base last year he seemed like a natural fit. His lack of speed no longer mattered and his 6'6" height with his go-go-Gadget arms saved a lot of errors from an error prone infield defense. I always give Hart a pass in even years (if you check out his career statistics he seems to always have a good year in the evens and a bad one in the odds) but after last season I decided to give him a lifetime pass. I'm done talking shit about Corey Hart because he's a damn good first baseman. And although it sounds like a cop out, at this point in his career he is what he is. He's going to be streaky and hit homeruns in bunches. He's not going to be patient at the plate and take walks. He will play good defense at first base. He won't steal bases. But he is probably the 4th best offensive player on the team behind Braun, Ramirez and Lucroy. It's important that Hart have a good year because we are depending on this offense to carry an inexperienced starting pitching staff. And it's a big year for Hart too seeing that he will be a free agent next year. Even though I've made my peace with Corey and he's forever #1 on the Field, #1 in my Hart, I'm fully prepared for this to be the last year of Hart as a Brewer. With 1st base prospect Hunter Morris knocking at the door, a minor league stacked with outfielders and his value on the open market, Corey Hart is as good as gone after the 2013 season. Since we're now friends Corey, how about you close out your Brewers career with a memorable season. It'll help you make that money. I just pray it doesn't come out of my pocket.
Mat Gamel #24, 1B/DL 4 Life
2013 Prediction: Tough Luck Pal. Sadface...
I'll be honest with you. Even though I do feel bad for Mat Gamel I really don't give a shit about him anymore. He can't even spell his fucking name right. The guy is as durable as a cheap suit. And about as ugly as one too. I don't ever wish for injury on someone and I bet rehabbing a torn ACL for 9 months then tearing it again and facing another lost year and another long rehab is rough. But the fact remains that Gamel will be 28 years old by the time he takes the field with the Brewers again in the 2014 season and he only has 240 Major League at bats in his entire career. To put that into perspective Martin Maldonado had 233 at bats in the 2012 season and he was the back up catcher. This asshole can't even stay healthy for one season. And this my friends is why minor league players are just prospects until they prove themselves. Some of them never get the chance to be somebody by having their names in the phonebook and some of them for whatever reason can't walk down the street without tripping over their own feet. And probably a couple of bums too. The economy has rendered a lot of really good people homeless. Even though Gamel is going to spend the year at home jerking off or whatever people do in rehab, he's worth an honorable mention here because he was supposed to be the starting 1st baseman while Corey Hart recovers from his knee injury. While Gamel won't see any playing time in 2013 he is still "young" in Major League service time and still under team control for another 3 years. So I doubt this will be the last we see of Gamel. Look for him to play a utility/bench role in 2014 unless he breaks his hip, cuts off his fingers in the garbage disposal, steps on a land mine, succumbs to Polio, donates his legs to crippled War Vets or whatever silly injury prevents him from taking the field. But until he learns how to spell his name correctly, does it even fucking matter?
Rickie Weeks #23, 2B
2013 Prediction: .262 batting avg, .358 on base percentage, 23 HRs, 70 RBIs, 93 runs scored, 15 stolen bases and more love from me than even his own Mother is willing to offer.
It's no secret that I love Rickie Weeks. If I was gay I'd marry him. I guess if I wasn't gay I'd marry him too. But I suppose he'd have to want to marry me. There's no way a 10 like Rickie Weeks would ever want to spend his life with a 0 like me. But why am I upset with that? I'm not gay! I don't like guys! God damn I'm weird. I'm definitely not like the majority of people who have bashed him over his career. I suppose they have their reasons and I took a lot of heat from them last year when Weeks was still batting .158 at the end of May. They were screaming, calling for his head and asking for him to be pulled from the lineup. But seriously think about it - was there a better option? Even though Weeks would never admit it, the ankle injury suffered in July of 2011 carried over into 2012 and he dug himself a hole. But he rebounded nicely to finish at .230 which is a big accomplishment considering where he was. I don't like to dwell on the past but Week's 2012 season is an indication of how much of a hard worker he is and how he will not sit back and become complacent. He's always going to give max effort and he will never be satisfied with his performance. That's why I expect Rickie Weeks to have a big year. He's injury free for the time being and is projected to bat 2nd in the lineup, which should increase his RBIs and runs scored totals. He's a key component for the Offense and he better have a good year because as we've seen in the past, as Rickie goes so do the Brewers. Trust me, it's not just a theory anymore. There is factual evidence behind that claim and I will be presenting that information at some point this summer when I call a press conference, so make sure to keep an eye on social media and official team releases for that date and time. I'm hoping that Weeks has a great year and convinces everyone that he's one of the biggest factors elevating the offense from good to great so I don't have to call a press conference. I don't like peeing my pants in front of everyone no matter if it does make me as cool as Miles Davis.
Jean Segura #9, SS
2013 Prediction: .281 batting avg, .327 OBP, 3 HRs, 41 RBIs, 22 stolen bases and yet another new kid that I'll have to yell at to get off my lawn.
Jean Jean made a machine. Yo Yo made it go. Hart Hart blew a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart. I know I used that last year but it's so good that I had to bring it back for another season. And if you don't like it then you need to embrace your inner child. But don't touch them. Touching children is wrong. Jean Segura is still a child because he is younger than me. Of course if I used that logic then like 90% of this team would be children. But he's only 23 years old so it's safe to say that he's the youngin' on this ball club. But even though some people may think that he's not ready for the Majors all you have to do is look at what he did last year in 44 game with the Brewers - .258 batting average, 14 RBIs, 19 runs scored, 7 stolen bases and 3 triples. If you still aren't convinced then check out what he did in 35 games in the Dominican Winter League - .324 batting average, 2 HRs, 21 RBIs, 26 runs scored, 11 stolen bases and 2 triples. I know those are small samples sizes but this is really good taste of how good this kid can be. I've already jumped on the bandwagon and purchased a #9 Jersey. I'd encourage you to do the same so you can be on the forefront of this before everybody starts doing it and your Mom yells at you for the "if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" thing. Segura is going to be a fun one to watch this year and it's a shame that he already lost his Rookie status (too many at bats last year) or else he would be in the Rookie of the Year conversation. This kid is going to fly around the bases like the rest of the speed demons on this team because Runnin' Ron Roenicke takes the shackles off of his players. I'm expecting big things from this little kid and I hope he doesn't burn me like a former kid (Alcides Escobar) did. I still have that #21 Jersey hanging in my closet. But I have a good feeling about this one and I doubt that the Brewers are going to let another top flight young shortstop get away.
2013 Prediction: .289 batting avg, .351 OBP, 25 HRs, 98 RBIs and another slow start just like me in the 40 yard dash.
If Aramis Ramirez could figure out how to get off to a hot start then he would be a MVP candidate. Considering that he was batting .235 in mid May with only 2 homeruns and 19 RBIs and finished at .300 with 27 homeruns and 105 RBIs proved that he's still an offensive force to be reckoned with. Maybe he just needs a blanket or we could press our naked bodies up against each other (but not in a gay way. Seriously, skin to skin contact is the best way to keep warm because clothes restrict the body's blood flow. It's science). I'd do anything to help Ramirez warm up in the first 2 months of the season because this year we simply cannot afford to get off to a slow start. The offense needs to kick it into high gear right out of the gates to give the inexperienced pitching staff some confidence and a buffer in case they falter a bit. As the clean up hitter Ramirez is the linchpin because we all know what Brauny is going to do. Someone needs to back him up and be that one-two punch. It worked so well in the 2nd half of the season and we needed to be the hottest team in baseball just to finish above .500. If he can avoid the early season slump then who knows what could happen. I hate to put such a responsibility on his shoulders but the offense is radically different when he is batting in the low .200s instead of the high .200s. He sprained his knee in a Spring Training game on March 3 and hasn't played since. Missing 2 weeks is not going to help him get off to a hot start because he'll likely only get 30 at bats. But last year he got 55 at bats in Spring Training and he hit .214 in April. Wouldn't that be weird if less is more? (CLICK PLAY TO HEAR WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW ) Isn't that weird? He better not start slow because I don't want to spend yet another summer watching this team try to dig themselves out of a hole. The offense has shown that they can carry this team and they really only need to do it long enough for the kids to put on their big boy pants and get down to business. Aramis Ramirez will have a lot of say on how quickly they suit up.
2013 Prediction: .305 batting avg, 17 HRs, 75 RBIs, 125 Games Caught and the most important factor in the success of the inexperienced starting pitching staff. He's also going to win the award for unsung hero or most underrated player on the team.
LUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCC!!!! should be everyone's 2nd favorite player. I would like everyone to stop swooning over the #1 favorite (that pretty boy Brauny) because it's so obvious. Everyone in Milwaukee loves Braun. Well maybe not everyone after the whole Testosterone/PED nonsense. But he is the go to because he is the face of the franchise. But you want someone who is more Milwaukee than California Shadows? That's Jonathon Lucroy. Even though he was born in Florida and went to college in Louisiana he plays baseball with a real blue collar Midwest mentality. As a catcher you have to get down and dirty but it's his work ethic that really impresses me. Everything you read and hear about Lucroy says that he spends more time with the Coaches looking at video or scouting reports than is humanly possible. The guy studies his ass off but somehow forgot to read up on physics, mostly the part about mass and gravity and the effect that they have on human hands. Sorry, I couldn't help but reference his broken hand as a result of a "suitcase falling on it." While I have no choice but to believe him, the real truth is that the Brewers missed Lucroy big time when he was out of the lineup. Aside from that he has managed to stay healthy and I would call him the 3rd best offensive player behind Braun and Ramirez. He's going to bat 5th in the lineup which is huge considering that Aoki, Weeks, Braun and Ramirez all have high on base percentages. If he stays in that spot he's going to have the opportunity to put up some pretty big numbers. That is unless his wife decides to drop another suitcase on him like Dorothy dropped a house on that Wicked Witch. Oh, you want a more current reference? How about dropped a suitcase on him like Harry S. Truman dropped the big one (dropped two big ones) on Japan in WWII. You want something more current than that? Umm... No. I'm sticking with the Fletch reference.
2013 Prediction: .252 batting avg, 9 HRs, 32 RBIs, 37 Games Caught and a crouching little ball of love behind the plate that you can't help but fall for.
I'm all for Lucroy being the starting catcher but I get excited in my pants for when I get to watch The Mighty Martin catch a game. Lucroy is great and all but he's not very flashy. He's a hard-working tough it out Jason Kendall type. Maldonado crouches behind the plate in some of the best positions I've seen outside of a Kama Sutra book. Pay attention next time you watch a game on TV and try not to think dirty thoughts. But seriously. The guy knows how to position himself to block balls and frame pitches. On top of that he's got a rocket of an arm which makes would be base stealers think twice. The only question was his offense but as we all saw last year there was no problem. He even had a flair for the dramatic and came up with several clutch hits. He could probably start on just about any team in MLB that doesn't have an All-Star catcher so I'm more than fine with him being the backup. I've even got this cockamamie idea that the Brewers go with 3 catchers (with Blake Lalli being the 3rd) on the Opening Day Roster so that they can start Maldonado at 1st base during Hart's absence. It's actually not that crazy of an idea even though I stole it from a crackpot scientist. Although Maldonado has only played a handful of innings at 1st in the Minor and Major Leagues, he has been playing there for Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Classic. That's still not a whole lot but we're only talking about 5-6 weeks here. The Brewers should do everything possible to get Maldonado and Lucroy in the lineup at the same time. I can't recall ever having a catching duo this good so enjoy these 2 guys as much as possible. Maldonado is going to have a fine year but as a backup it depends on how many games he ends up playing.
2013 Prediction: .248 batting avg, 9 HRs, 42 RBIs and a smooth transition to being a backup and well liked by everyone in a Brewers uniform except for me because he stole my number.
I was really excited to see what Alex Gonzalez could have done with a full season but he didn't get the chance to. He tore his ACL in early May 2012 and was out for the rest of the year. When the Brewers traded for Jean Segura they had found their future shortstop. But every position needs a backup. With the exception of Prince Fielder, players rarely play every day in a 162 game season. Even young players need a day off to rest up physically or mentally. Baseball is a grind. I watch nearly every game and I'm exhausted by the end of the season. And I'm just sitting on my couch or in the stands! Damn. That's why it's a good idea to have quality backups who can play the field and also be available to pinch hit. In the National League players like Alex Gonzalez are extremely valuable and I didn't have any faith that he would resign with the Brewers as a backup after starting for the majority of his 14 year career. When he signed in late January it was already known that Corey Hart would be missing the first month + of the season but the big break for Gonzalez came when Gamel would miss the year. That's when Gonzalez reluctantly picked up a 1st baseman's glove and started working over there. And although it's only Spring Training and those stats can't be trusted (like an internet girlfriend you had on AOL when you were 15) he's looking pretty good out there. Just like SunshinNoe from Hawaii. Or at least her picture. I'm not so sure about the dude who was getting his rocks off talking to me pretending to be her. But I bet he's looking good too. Even though he has played all 1536 of his MLB career at shortstop he needs to be a utility player if he wants some playing time. He's been at SS, 1st and 3rd in the Spring so far and barring any injury he's going to get 2 starts a week and be the 1st bat off the bench. I'm sure that's not what he wants but tough luck pal. We don't get what we want. I didn't get to have sex with a teenage Hawaiian girl. Why should you get to be the starting shortstop?
2013 Prediction:
2013 Prediction: .235 batting avg, 2 HRs, 12 RBIs, very limited playing time and most likely sent down to AAA when Corey Hart returns but will once again bounce back and forth between the Minors and Majors, screwing up his game and ruining his career.
I really don't know what to say about Taylor Green at this point. He's like Mat Gamel except for the injuries. What I mean is that he has proven that he can play Minor League baseball but hasn't really put it together in the Majors. He really hasn't had a chance thought because like Gamel he's a man without a position. If there is anyone who should be thankful about Gamel + Hart's injuries then it should be Green. He shouldn't go and rub it in their faces like an asshole or anything but the only reason Green will be on the Opening Day Roster is because the Brewers have decided to go with internal options at 1st base until Hart returns. He's seen his fair share of time there during Spring Training but I can't see him succeeding there in the regular season unless he plays every day. That's not going to happen as he is likely going to platoon with Alex Gonzalez and then be sent back to the Minors to get regular playing time. With Ramirez at 3rd and Hart at 1st, he's probably going to spend the majority of the season at AAA Nashville so I'm not going to bother trying to predict his season. I hope he has something to do with his free time because playing baseball for the Milwaukee Brewers won't occupy him for long. It's a shame though because he was the Minor League Player of the Year in 2011 but he just hasn't been given a chance yet. He may turn it up a notch when the season starts and convince them to keep him on the bench all year but I doubt it. This guy had so much promise too. Oh well.
2013 Prediction: .229 batting avg, 5 HRs, 30 RBIs and a decent comeback despite not being as impressive as comeback players before him.
Every year GM Doug Melvin signs a comeback player. Guys like Jim Edmonds and Gabe Kapler had big years with the Brewers after sitting out of baseball. Bobby Crosby is hoping to add his name to that list. Crosby is known for being the AL Rookie of the Year for the Oakland A's in 2004 and had a decent MLB career. He last played a MLB game in 2010 with the Arizona Diamondbacks and has a decent shot to make the Brewers Opening Day Roster. With the World Baseball Classic taking upwards of 12 players away from Spring Training he has had every opportunity to earn a roster spot. I see him as the Craig Counsell type - 33 years old, won't hit for a high average or power but can play SS, 2nd and 3rd. He'll probably make the team based on experience alone. Every player from Ryan Braun to John Axford to Bobby Crosby has a role on the team. You can't have a team of All-Stars. The Los Angeles Dodgers are trying to do that. The New York Yankees do that every year. What does it get them? Nowhere. Now they might win a World Series before the Brewers do but they also have more money. As a small market team we have to take chances on guys like Crosby, Kapler and Edmonds and hope they figure out their way to contribute while making under $1 million dollars. I'm hoping that Crosby can be that guy. If it doesn't work out for him at least he can go live with his brother Newton Crosby and live happily ever after with Stephanie and Johnny 5.
UPDATE 3/18/13: Bobby Crosby has been released from his Minor League contract. He got a late start in Spring Training due to a thigh injury and hit .188 with 0 HRs and 0 RBIs albeit in only 16 at bats. Since a spot would have to be cleared on both the 40 Man and 25 Man roster, the Brewers decided to go with another option. I really thought he was going to make it but that's what makes these predictions so tough.
2013 Prediction: n/a. I only profiled him so I could shout out DONNIE MURPHY!!
I don't care who Donnie Murphy is. I don't care if he makes the Opening Day roster. I don't care if he is more attractive than I am. Big deal. Everyone is. I don't care if he can build a scale model of Big Ben out of a bin of Lego blocks he picked up at a rummage sale. I don't care if he speaks 4 languages and is the American Ambassador to French Guiana. I don't care if he holds the Guinness World Record for most cotton balls eaten in 1 minute. I don't care if he knows the way to San Jose. I don't care if he care if he has never told a lie in his entire life and he can keep a secret longer than he can hold his breath underwater. I don't care if he traded the cow for some magic beans instead of money. I don't care if he would fly to the moon and back to be my baby. I don't care if he was once a part of the Southwest's largest touring Circus troupe. I don't care about Donnie Murphy. He's probably not going to make the make the Opening Day Roster because of Bobby Crosby but I did have to mention him for one reason and one reason only - during Spring Training broadcasts I laugh every time they say his name. You might not think that there is anything funny about Donnie Murphy but you're just not saying it right. Say it like Dave Chappelle's Rick James says Charlie Murphy. DONNIE MURPHY! Gets me every time.
UPDATE 3/18/13 - I have my sources that told me Donnie Murphy played in the World Series of Beer Pong in 2009 while rehabbing from a torn ACL. He's friends with some guys I know from Southern California. As you know, I attended WSoBP I-VII so there's a pretty good chance I might have bumped into him. While I feel bad for talking shit about a fellow WSoBP Alumni, the fact remains (like Bobby Crosby) he is not on the 40 or 25 Man Roster and still stands at a long shot to make the team. And even though I am retired from Beer Pong, I would definitley challenge him to a 1-on-1 game of 10-Cup.
UPDATE 3/26/13 - With the Brewers bringing back Yuniesky Betancourt, Donnie Murphy has been informed that he will not make the team. Since he a roster move would have been made to add him in, they decided to go with a proven commodity. Like it or not, Yuni B is better than Donnie M. So I did the right thing originally by not giving a shit about him. I should always follow my instincts because Donnie Murphy sucks. And I'd probably still beat him at beer pong even though I've been retired for nearly 15 months. DONNIE MURPHY!
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