It's in My Head #19 - An Irrational Fear

It's OK to be afraid. It's a very common thing. Ask the people around you right now - what are you afraid of? If they are completely honest, they might reveal their true fears. But most likely they will keep their real fears hidden and unsaid. But why is that? Why are people so leery of disclosing their fears? Everyone is afraid of something. Fear is as common as happiness, anger, sadness or any of the other emotions that you humans feel. Fear is defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined." That last word is where my fear comes into play. The thing that I fear the most is Dinosaurs. I kid you not. I wouldn't joke about this shit. But how can you fear something that doesn't exist? You fear it by convincing yourself of the possibility that it does exist.

I've been fascinated with dinosaurs for my entire life. When I was a kid I studied them. I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up. What kid didn't? Here were these colossal beasts that ruled the World and then - BAM! Gone from existence. All they left behind were these mysterious bones that we put together like some big ass puzzle without the front of the box as a guide. But what is so scary about dead animal bones? Nothing really. But what scares me is the possibility that there are some live ones out there hiding, waiting for the day when mankind forgets that they used to be the the dominant species on this planet. They were here first. And humans, the whiny little sacks of skin that they are, couldn't do a damn thing about it if Dinosaurs ever came back. 

I know that you are calling bullshit on me right now. I can hear you say, "But Scott - isn't death more scary?" Nope. We're all going to die. "How about wolves, tigers and bears?" I stay out of the jungles and forests. "But what about guns?" I don't get involved with that nonsense. "But what if you lost your job?" Shit, I wish I was unemployed. Imagine what I could do with all that free time. "You have to be afraid of heights." Nope. I don't put myself in perilous situations where I'm dangling on the edge. "But everyone is afraid of rats, bats and spiders." Nah. That's what poison and traps are for. I don't like those creatures, but that doesn't mean that I fear them. But why dinosaurs?

Have you ever seen a dinosaur? Well, technically I haven't either, but Jurassic Park gave me a pretty good idea of what it would be like if they lived in our World. When I close my eyes and think about it, I would probably lose my fucking shit if a dinosaur was staring me down. I don't care if it was Baby Sinclair from the TV show Dinosaurs or an animated Littlefoot from The Land Before Time standing in an open meadow; dinosaurs are my #1 fear in life. It doesn't matter that those assholes aren't real. I don't care. They scare the shit out of me. But how much would it mess with your mind if they were real?

Imagine your life as it is. That's not hard. You live that every day. Now imagine your life as it is only now Dinosaurs are real and living among us. How much does that change your day to day activities? Oh, I was going to go over to my friend's house for a barbecue, except that a pack of velociraptors disemboweled and ate my friend. So now there's no barbecue this weekend. Honey, did the mail come today? Nope. Sorry, the mailman was crushed by a herd of stampeding Brontosaurs. We'll have to wait until someone else takes a chance and applies for our route. Seeing as that we live close to the watering hole, it's very unlikely that anyone with a sound mind is going to apply for that open position. So don't expect the mail to come anytime soon.

If that was the World that we lived in, I would never leave the house except to get the essentials. And when I did, I would only do it in the tank that I stole from the US Military when they weren't looking (they were too busy firing surface to air missiles at some Pterodactyls that attacked our soldiers when we infringed on their territory. Don't blame them. They were protecting their nest). I would never walk outside without protection. And I'm not even talking about owning a handgun. What is a pistol going to do against a T-Rex? It would only piss him off. You need to own a tank or a rocket launcher if you are going to go toe-to-toe with one of the greatest predators to ever walk the Earth. You can't even use "run" as a backup plan. What good does running do you if you don't have any life-ending weapons? Running will only engage the primal hunting aspects of these prehistoric creatures. They would give chase and your life would be over. So fuck running.

I'm ever thankful for the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. I owe it a debt of gratitude. If it didn't kill those creatures, then life as we know it might not have existed. It may have been dinosaurs and not humans, that were the dominant species on this planet. If that were the case, I probably wouldn't have existed long enough to write this article. But I am here, so fuck the dinosaurs. I can be afraid of something that no longer exists. If John Hammond can recreate them for entertainment purposes, then someone else in the real world could also recreate them for nefarious purposes. That's when dinosaurs get their revenge upon the human race. If that ever happens, then I'm out. I'm jumping ship via suicide because I'll be damned if I'm going to exist in a World that contains dinosaurs. Fuck that. Dinosaurs and humans were never meant to coexist. This is why The Flintstones is bullshit. I would have never trusted those prehistoric bastards to help me move rocks. If one of those terrible lizards would have come near me, I would have dropped one of those giant rocks on their walnut-sized brains. I would have done everything I could to destroy the dinosaurs, even if I had to do it one dinosaur at a time.

The only way to defeat your fear is to face it head on and destroy it. Unless John Hammond or some other old bastard recreates my #1 fear, I'm in a whole lot of trouble. That's because my #1 fear does not currently exist. And it may never. So I need to somehow figure out a way to rise above my fear. I do live in a World without Dinosaurs, so Dinosaurs live in a World without me. That's messed up. My head hurts. But it hurts because of my thoughts and not because of the Dinosaurs. I will never let Dinosaurs hurt me. Not as long as I have a single breath left in my body. I will kill any Dinosaur that moves. I will kill any Dinosaur that doesn't move. I will kill them all. I won't fear you any more. You motherfuckers have to fear me.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Centerfield

If you don't love Carlos Gomez, then shame on you. Well actually probably shame on God or the mystery of the human body because you were born without a heart. What's not to love? The only knock on him used to be that he didn't hit for average, batting in the .230-.240 range. But now that he has put up two almost mirror seasons (compare 2013 to 2014) an made back to back All-Star teams, there's really nothing you can hate about him. you may have a few minor gripes with his seemingly reckless abandon on the base paths which leads to him getting thrown out at 3rd when he could have easily scored from 2nd on a single. Or you may not like the way he swings so hard that he loses his helmet and looks like the Tasmanian Devil. Some people might have an issue with his "showboating" while hitting homeruns, flipping the bat or staring at it for a moment. You might not like him because he gets into fights because he doesn't know when to back down in the moment. You might have a problem with him being aggressive. You might say that he goes balls to the walls (literally) in the outfield which has caused him to have injuries (like when he broke his collarbone or injured his shoulder while crashing into the wall). But I promise you that those are all minor gripes. Because anyone who has watched Gomez play since he came to Milwaukee in 2006 can tell you that if you don't allow him to do those things, you don't let him be Carlos Gomez. And trust me, you want him to be Carlos Gomez.

Ever since Ron Roenicke took the handcuffs off him, he has evolved into one of the best outfielders, if not one of the best players in all of baeball. There aren't too many people are going to bat .285, hit 25 homeruns, 85 RBIs, steal 40 bases and play gold glove calibur defense. He's amazing in every aspect of the game. On top of that, he's a joy to follow on social media (even when he tweets in Spanish, I still smile even though I have no idea what he's talking about). I neve see him without a smile on his face and he's been great to the fans at every event and interaction that I've been witness to. Basically he's someone that you want on your team. I just hope that he doesn't play himself off of this team. If he puts up another year like he did in 2013 and 2014, he's going to skyrocket in price. Right now he won't be a free agent until the 2017 season and he makes a very team friendly $8 million per year. 

With his talent and numbers that he's putting up, he could easily make $18 - $22 million in today's baseball economy. This is way more than the small market Brewers could afford especially because they are paying Ryan Braun the same amount of money. This team couldn't afford 2 superstars, so one of them would have to go. If I had my pick, I would take Gomez over Braun, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. But this is a recap of his 2014 season, not a look ahead to his future. He still has 2 more years under contract, so we'll worry about that when it gets to that point. But it is going to happen. He will someday play for another team, although I wish he would spend the rest of his career with the Milwaukee Brewers.

I wish I could spend the rest of my life playing with Sage. And by playing with her, obviously I mean running my hands up and down her naked body and caressing every inch of her stunning figure. If she wants to play other things, I'm game as well. We can play hide and go seek, we could play Hungry Hungry Hippos, we could play go fish, but of course I'd rather play Naked Twister (right hand left breast! Left hand my cock!) or any one of those role playing games (if you know what I mean). You know it really doesn't matter. We don't even have to play anything. All I want is just to be in her presence even if she doesn't acknowledge me or look in my general direction. But if I had it my way, we would play house. I'd be the husband and she'd play my wife. 

I would come home from a long day at the office and she'd be waiting for me with some macaroni and cheese, toasted white bread and not wearing a shirt. And I'd eat my macaroni and toasted white bread and she'd just sit there all topless and tell me about what she did while I was away. And she'd go on and on about how much she missed me and how she can't wait for me to finish my macaroni so that we can go snuggle on the couch and watch Full House. And of course she'd still be topless all the time so that when she gets cold, I could pull her close to me and let our bodies warm each other up. And then she'd ask me if I wanted to make love to her or if I wanted nachos. And then she would giggle as I tried to choose between two of my favorite things. And then she'd give me a big hug and say to me Scotty, you don't have to choose. You can make love to me while eating nachos. And then I would look deep into her eyes and I 'd say Sage, I know it sounds a little silly, but I seriously am the luckiest man alive. You are perfect in every single way and I wouldn't ever do anything to you that you wouldn't want me to. I worship the ground you walk on and I can't imagine life without you. I would do anything for you, so if you want me to make love to you and eat these nachos at the same time, I will happily fulfill that and every one of your desires, no matter how weird they are. Man I play a messed up game of house...

Now that we're on the topic of playing, you should check out my 8th video. It covers Centerfield for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers (basically Carlos Gomez), recorded at Indian Creek Park in Fox Point, WI:

I was helping my Dad out with painting the basement at my Grandpa's house in Fox Point, so I decided to stop by the park that we used to walk to when we were kids. It had been a real long time since I have been here, but nothing has changed. Believe it or not, in this case it was a good thing. It really took me back to a time when my Grandma and Grandpa (and Timmy) were still alive and all we did was have fun without feeling any sadness. 

Carlos Gomez #27 - .264 AVG, 23 HRs, 72 RBIs, 35 stolen bases, another Gold Glove and truly deserving of the love from every man, woman, child and beast that just always wanted to go fast.

.284 batting AVG, 23 HRs, 73 RBIs, 34 stolen bases, no gold glove, another All-Star appearance and best friend to every man, woman, child and beast that is in need of a best friend.

I think Carlos Gomez and I could be best friends as long as he stays off my motherfucking Kool-Aid. Damn it Carlos! You already have a beautiful wife! Leave my Sage alone! But I love everything about him and I just have a feeling that we would laugh, have fun and just enjoy each other's company. Of course that's not our relationship at the moment. Right now he's playing baseball on the field and I'm watching him from the left field bleachers, from the club level or on TV. I'm still waiting for the beautiful moment in time when our paths cross and I look Gomez in the eyes and he looks right back into mine and he says to me, Iceman (or Hombre de Hielo cuz he's some kind of Spanish) - where have you been all my life? And I'll be like, Gomez don't be weird. I've been here the whole time. 

But now that you've finally noticed, we can be best friends forever. And since we're such best friends I know that you'll never try to steal my girl. And I know he won't mind that I get all intimate with Sage when he's in the room. He knows never too interrupt something as beautiful as true love and to never mess with a good thing. Of course I respect Gomez enough as a person and as a friend to not like, start fingering her front of him or anything. Come on, I got more class than that. I'll wait until he's left the room, or until he's sleeping. Bong... nooch. But all of this is just a make believe fantasy World in my head. In this World that I've drunkenly crafted, Carlos Gomez is my best friend and Sage is the woman by my side. I'm going to use every "blowing out the candles" birthday wish, every wish upon a star, every coin tossed in the wishing well and every time I get on my knees and pray to a higher power that this dream will someday come true. Because that's the World I want to live in. That my friends, would truly be living the dream. 

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Drunken Live Tweet - Finding Nemo - "Just Keep Tweeting. Just Keep Tweeting..."

Words can't even explain how creepy and wrong this is. Who #hashtags a kids movie and talks shit about it while drunk? Me I guess. That's what I do on a Friday night. And this is why I'm still single. And this is also why I have problems. I didn't intend to Live Tweet the Disney/Pixar movie Finding Nemo. I made one comment on my Twitter account and it just kind of snowballed from there (as it often does when I'm drinking whiskey). All of the sudden it's 1am and I'm watching the thrilling conclusion of one of Pixar's finest movies. 

It's ultimately the story of a boy and his Dad and the grand adventure that they share. They each go on a separate voyage in the great big sea but it is all confined within the same story (although they didn't know it at the time). I'm sure that when they look back (assuming that Nemo isn't horribly scarred from this tragic event) they will laugh and recount these fond memories. But what are these memories? What happened when Marlin was out #FindingNemo? I'm sure that you know them. You've seen the movie. You've probably even seen it several times. So you you what you think about it. But have you ever wondered what I think about #FindingNemo? Oh you have? Well then my friend you have come to the right place!

The following is a series of tweets that I sent out from my Twitter account (@pookondotcom) on Friday January 30. Despite this seeming like a shameless attempt to gain new followers by promoting the shit out of myself, I beg you not to waste your time on this nonsense. That is unless of course that you like nonsense. I have plenty of it to go around. I learned long ago that I can't stop myself from being myself. Unfortunately social media has given me an outlet to be myself to the whole world. This is quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen to the World. OK, so maybe I'm being a little over dramatic. But I'll let you be the judge of that after you read my tweets about Finding Nemo.

I couldn't handle losing my wife and all of my kids (except one) in the first 5 minutes of the movie. #FindingNemo is fucking sad.

The other fuckers in the ocean give Marlin a hard time, but he's one tough ass fish. He's been through some real shit. #FindingNemo

Hands down the best part of #FindingNemo is when the baby fish falls off the sponge bed and cries. I love when kids fall down.

That little squid kid inks and then swims in it. What a nasty little bitch. Someone should tell the the EPA. #FindingNemo

Some ass jockey just up and steals Nemo. And people wonder why I don't swim in the ocean. Don't want to get stolen. #FindingNemo

Don't know if I'm Marlin or Dory. Probably both. I'm an non-funny clown who can't remember a God damn thing. #FindingNemo

I hate sharks. They straight up eat you. Who wants to be someone's dinner? I bet I don't even taste that good. #FindingNemo

If Jeffrey Dahmer was still alive, I bet he could tell me what I taste like. What? #TooSoon? #FindingNemo

But these sharks go on a dolphin hating rant. I can get behind that. Dolphins think they're so smart. Smug ass bastards. #FindingNemo

Fish are friends, not food? Apparently those sharks have never been to Milwaukee on a Friday night. #FishFry #FindingNemo

This shark needs an intervention because he wants some of #THATMEAT!?!? Why stop when it tastes so good? #FindingNemo

Worst part about what I'm doing right now? Hashtagging a kids movie and saying these awful awful things. #FindingNemo

Bird blames the other bird for farting and then flies away? Hey pal - he who smelt it, dealt it. #FindingNemo

I didn't expect to be live tweeting #FindingNemo. But I also didn't expect to be unmarried at 33. Oh wait - yeah I did.

I have some real problems if this is what I do with my Friday nights. But it could be worse. I could be in prison like Nemo. #FindingNemo

Love that Jacques fella. He makes popping noises and scurries around. Foreigners are the best. #FindingNemo

Hitched a ride on the porcelain express? Been there. Every morning after a #BachelorParty... #FindingNemo

I'll admit I'm still a little afraid of the dark, so there's no way I'm going to the bottom of the ocean for a fucking mask. #FindingNemo

If I'm not deathly hungover tomorrow, I'm making P. Sherman at 32 Wallaby Way in Sydney, Australia my new pen pal. #FindingNemo

All I want in life is to be part of a ragtag group of outcasts forced to spend a confined space together. #FindingNemo

I wish my voice was half as sexy as Brad Garrett's or Patrick Warburton's. #FindingNemo #aLittleGay

Other best part of the movie - John Ratzenburger as the school of fish when one fish walks the plank of the Pirate ship. #FindingNemo

It's the little moments in this movie that kill me - why Ted here has relatives in Sydney. "Sure do!" #FindingNemo

I just told my cat we're live tweeting #FindingNemo. He said, "who is this we? Don't lump me in with you." My cat is a jerk.

I wish that I lived in a sea anemone and was used to stings. That way I wouldn't get hurt so much. Getting hurt sucks. #FindingNemo

Fuck a horde of jellyfish. Forming an unlawful assembly and putting the citizens in danger. They should all be destroyed! #FindingNemo

If all drains lead to the ocean, then I've been peeing in the ocean all night long. #FindingNemo

If you see a small opening, wedge a pebble into it. Maybe it's just me, but that sounds a little naughty. #FindingNemo

Norman Osbourne needs to stop making his cronies do his dirty work. But he's rich. I guess that's what rich people do. #FindingNemo

Marlin wakes up passed out on the back of a righteous sea turtle. Some fish have all the luck. So not fair. #FindingNemo

Wish I woke up passed out on a turtle. But at least I never woke up passed out in the sewer or in a lion's den. #FindingNemo

Jelly Man is a sweet nickname. I'm lucky to be Iceman. And a security guard in Las Vegas once called me The Whistler. #FindingNemo

I headbutt my cat Korben Dallas all the time. There's no sweeter move than knocking heads with another life form. #FindingNemo

I want to scrape together some money and buy a shitload of baby sea turtles. Those creatures are the bomb. #FindingNemo

I wish a bunch of little sea turtles would gather and listen to my stories. I promise they're entertaining! #FindingNemo

Other best part of this movie is the Boston Lobsters talking about it being wicked daaaak. How's it goin' Bob? #FindingNemo

I'm Iike those seagulls every time I see a girl with hot totties - Mine! Mine! Mine! Except she's never mine. #sadness #FindingNemo

Marlin takes on 3 sharks and he's a hero. A girl takes on 3 sharks and she's a slut. That's not fair. #FindingNemo

Does @Disney have a water slide based on the East Australian Current in #FindingNemo? If not they should. They're sitting on a gold mine!

I want credit if @Disney now builds a water slide with inflatable turtles where you ride the East Australian Current. #FindingNemo

Just keep swimming... Just keep swimming... Is that a mantra for Dory or for sperm? #FindingNemo

And speaking of sperm, here's a sperm whale. Why is it called that? Has anyone ever stopped to question that? #FindingNemo

Is anyone else a little weirded out about a girl asking if you have seen her flow? Now that's just gross. #FindingNemo

Can't say that I've ever been inside a whale. Not even in college. #FindingNemo

Marlin says the whale is half empty. Dory says the whale is half full. Whose side are you on? #TeamHalfFull #FindingNemo

If I was up inside a whale I would never quit. Never give up! Never surrender! Get ejaculated from that whale! #FindingNemo

If the light is green, the tank is clean. The fish are incarcerated here in our custom made storage facility. #FindingNemo

But the light is red. The purple fish guy covers his nuts when the machine scans the tank. You can never be too cautious. #FindingNemo

Eaten by a pelican. That's not the way I'm going to go. I'm probably going to suffer from violent cardiac arrest. #FindingNemo

Hop inside my mouth if you want to live? Is that the #FindingNemo way of saying come with me if you want to live? #Terminator2

It's absolute chaos in the dentist's office. That's why I don't go despite having dental insurance. #FindingNemo

I can sympathize with Marlin. I've gone on many a quest only to find a dead fish at the end. #FindingNemo

Have you seen my Dad? And have you seen my baseball? #FindingNemo

I think that Dory just had Drunken Recall. Arnold Schwarzenegger had Total Recall. And Marlin has Nemo Recall. #FindingNemo

Swim down never works. I've been swimming down all my life and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I'm bound to go belly up. #FindingNemo

I hate that everyone tells Nemo what he can't do. No wonder the kid was underdeveloped. Everyone is holding him back. #FindingNemo

I met a sea turtle once. And he was 150 years old. You know what that means? That Sandy Plankton was full of shit man. #FindingNemo

Like father, like daughter. Adult squid guy inks at the first sight of a shark. Way to keep it together pal. #FindingNemo

At the end of the day it's the story of a boy and his Dad. That's why I love it. It speaks to me. #FindingNemo

Where the fuck do these asshats think they are going in these plastic bags? They were better off in camp tivity... #FindingNemo

I want the end of my life to play out like the end credits of #FindingNemo. "Somewhere beyond the sea, she's there waiting for me..."

Got drunk and live tweeted #FindingNemo. One could say I'm channeling my inner @jimmylaw22 @BingeMedia #Pixar

Did you like that? Did you like what you saw there? You shouldn't. In fact you should be ashamed of yourself if you chuckled at any of these horrendous comments. Don't encourage me because then I might do this kind of shit more often. I encourage myself on a daily basis and I don't need any help pal. But thanks for the assist. Look, I'm sorry that I subjected you to this. But then again, you didn't have to read it unless you wanted to. My head is a twisted place. The only way I can stay "normal-ish" is to let the crazy out from time to time. And sometimes when I let that crazy out, I go after children's movies. It's better than going after children, right? And this blog post just took a real disastrous turn. And that is where I'm going to leave you. Go out and find your Nemo pal!

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Leftfield

Khris Davis was the Brewers primary left fielder in 2014 and he represented Sombrero Nation well despite not being a Mexican. But that's okay because I'm not a Mexican either. I'm simply a born again Mexican. I don't know if Khris Davis has taken the solemn oath to become a born again Mexican and wearer of the Sombrero. But I always knew that I was going to love the guy because he shares a name with my mother, although he spells his a little differently (adding an unnecessary H). I have already identified that they are in fact 2 different people despite having a lot of things in common. Maybe he added the H so that people could tell them apart. Christ, I don't fucking know. I just root for the guy. After so many years of Shadows being cast in left field, it was nice to have a guy to root for who didn't have any character issues. I don't claim to know the truth the whole truth or nothing but the truth. I can't handle the truth. and I don't know a goddamn thing, but I do know when there's a guy that we all got to get behind because he thrives on confidence and people being in his corner. So it's up to us to help Khris Davis be the player that he's supposed to be and a player that we all know that he can be. We've got to get all up in his head and help the guy out.

And then there's Sage. I've got to get all up in those guts to help that girl out. Even though she is always smiling, I know that's all for show. She's empty, almost like she's missing a piece. And I got just the piece to fill that hole. I would rock her World. But I really shouldn't talk that dirty about Fox Sports Wisconsin girl Sage. She's the Mother of my future children. She's a goddess. She is incredible in every single way. I've never met her, but I dream about her every night. Although I'd like to make like Mario and Luigi and lay some pipe in her basement (if you know what I mean), I promise to love and respect her and give her the life that she deserves. Every single time I see her, her smile is so bright and so radiant. It could wipe the depressing frown off of every single impoverished and starving man, woman and child in every third world country. Her voice is like that of an Angel it's not even fair how heavenly it is. Like when I hear it, I feel bad because it wasn't meant for me. It was only meant for Jesus's ears. But by some act of God I get to hear it. I don't take this privilege lightly. I respect this opportunity as much as I respect this amazing woman. Even if I want to stick it in every hole of her body. And I mean every hole. Even in her ear.

Wait... wasn't this supposed to be about Khris Davis? Christ how did I get sidetracked yet again? I guess that's just what I do. They were very opposing views on Khris Davis' 2014 season. There are a lot of people who criticized his plate discipline, lack of walks and his below average defense. But on the flip side there were people who praised his power numbers and his ability to hit in the klutch (and clutch is intentionally spelled with a K, just like Khris is spelled with a K). He seemed to come up big when the Brewers needed him, which is rare for a young player to do. And even though there was a lot of pressure put on him to basically be the next Ryan Braun, he didn't really crumble under the pressure. Was he the next Ryan Braun? Of course not. Braun is a once in a generation type of player. But I think he was good enough that you can legitimately say he should be playing in left field everyday and the Brewers did the right thing by moving Braun to right field. It may just be my personal opinion, but I don't think we saw the real Khris Davis in 2014. He's only going to get better.

Sometime in July before the trade deadline, the Brewers acquired Gerardo Parra from the Arizona Diamondbacks. He was the fourth outfielder but he ended up seeing a good amount of playing time filling in for Braun (who was facing injuries) and Khris Davis (who was struggling at the plate in the field). The fact that he is a switch hitter and plays Gold Glove defense helped to get his name written in the lineup seemingly every day. By the end of the year it was almost like he transitioned to the everyday starter. But let's face it and I mean this in no offense to Mr. Parra, but we are a worse team if he is starting every day. He's solid. Going to give you a decent average, little bit of pop in his bat and excellent defense. But he doesn't have the wild card factor. He isn't a game changer. Khris Davis has the ability to be the deciding factor in a win or a loss with one swing of the bat. Some people might talk about runs saved through defense as opposed to runs created by offense. I will take a bat over a glove any day of the week. Even though the defense has been, is and will always be a problem for this team, what sunk this ship last year was the lack of offense. So we need to make sure that offense is the main priority when choosing which player takes the field.

Check out my 7th video, which recaps Leftfield for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded on the bridge crossing Indian Creek in Fox Point, WI:

I was trying to make a connection between the video I filmed last March and the one that I filmed this March. I'm pretty sure that I failed. Or I succeeded. You know that the coin has two sides and the odds are 50/50 that it will end up on one of those sides. That is of course, unless it ends up not on a side but on the edge instead. Although that is highly unlikely, it still could happen and ruin my entire plan. Oh bother...

Khris Davis #18 - .265 batting AVG, 22 HRs, 65 RBIs, an above average defender in spite of the critics and the coolest guy in the World with my Mom's name.

.244 batting AVG, 22 HRs, 69 RBIs an average man with an average life. He works from 9 to 5, oh hell he pays the price. All he wants is to be left alone, in his average home. But why does he always feel like he's in the twilight zone?

  Logan Schafer #1 - .245 batting AVG, 6 HRs, 41 RBIs, 10 stolen bases and the best defender on the team not names Carlos Gomez. But he might change his name to Carlos Gomez so that people recognize him and give credit where it is due. This kid can play the shit out of the outfield.

.181 batting AVG, 0 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 stolen bases, 65 games played and basically a non factor in the 2014 season. It doesn't matter how good his glove is if his bat can't keep him on the field/on the major league team.

Gerardo Parra #28 - .268 batting AVG, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 46 games played and would have been a really good acquisition had they made the playoffs. Pitching and defense wins in October, but you can't win in October if you don't get there.

I would take Sage's field no matter what the conditions were. I wouldn't even think twice before playing ball when there is grass on that field. If there was a rain delay and there was a risk of an injury that would sideline me for the rest of the season, I would still go out and play on that field. Even if there wasn't a game that day I would still go out and practice on that field. I'd go out there and tag all the bases. I'd practice my base running drills going from first to third when the guy behind you in the lineup hit a single. I'd lay down a bunt and hustle my way to first base and leg out an infield single. And then when she wasn't looking, I'd steal second. If she really wasn't paying attention, I'd also steal third. I hope that I get so adept at stealing bases that I can pull off the mother of all conquests and swipe home. And good lord, if I ever hit an in the park homerun, I'd be the luckiest guy alive. But I'd settle with a casual trot around the bases as I watched the ball sail into the leftfield seats. I don't care how it happens, but I just want to touch home plate. In case you were wondering what was going on right now, you don't get it. But that's okay. All you need to know is that Khris Davis is going to be alright. And the other thing you need to know is that I'm never going to be alright unless I get Sage. In my bed, on the field and in my life.

- pookon -

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25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2014 Recap - Shortstop

Is there any player that had a worse year? I don't think I could name one. What Jean Segura had to deal with this year is unimaginable. I'm not going to sugarcoat it here - his son, who was only 9 months old, died in July. This was on top of what was already a tough season for him where he was trying to rebound from a poor 2nd half of 2013. At that point you just threw in the towel and chalked it up to a bad year. I don't really want to talk about it much (in respect to him and his family), but losing someone you love is incredibly tough. It's when thing when it's a parent or a sibling, but I have heard it's a whole different story when it is a child (and an infant child at that). It basically destroys you. You had your entire life planned with this child and planned that he would grow old and outlive you. You never expect (and never think) that a child will die before you. So I'll give anyone a pass if that happens. It doesn't matter if you are a baseball player, a teacher or a construction worker - that sadness is going to mess with your head and your heart, and it will affect your job. But a teacher or a construction worker isn't under the scrutiny and analysis that a Major League baseball player is. I understand that being a "celebrity" and a professional athlete puts in constantly in the public eye, but when real life matters come into play, it's best to just lay off the guy.

That having been said, I'm just going to state the obvious - he had a pretty mediocre year on the field. When you look at them, his stats really weren't that bad for a shortstop. That position isn't really known for being one that has a lot of power numbers or a high batting average. Shortstop is all about defense. While he did regress by the numbers, he still passed the eye test. His offensive numbers were nowhere near close to the ones that earned him a spot on the 2013 All-Star team, but I think that year was a fluke. Sorry pal, but Segura isn't an offensive shortstop. He isn't going to hit 15-20 HRs and drive in 60-70 RBIs. But if he gets on base (I would love it if Roenicke put him 2nd in the batting order) he could steal 40-50 bases per year and score 70-80 runs based on his speed alone. And if he's comfortable at the plate, he's not going to think about it. Why is that important? Because he doesn't need his offensive struggles carrying over to his defense. I feel like it did last year. He just never looked right at the plate or on the field. That will do it. Confidence is everything whether it is at baseball or with the ladies. I'm not confident in either, which leads to a lot of strikeouts.

Check out my 6th video, which covers Shortstop for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded in my living room in the middle of the night during a weekend bender:

I was pretty drunk when I recorded this video in my living room in the middle of the night during a weekend bender and I wasn't able to make any kind of sense. I got some stares from my cat as I was facing the wall and talking to my camera, but I get stares when I do anything, so I'm used to it. I have been trying to limit my alcohol intake (no drinking on the weekdays) so after a few whiskey whatevers, I was lost in the supermarket and I needed an adult. I had like 19 sombreros on my head and it was really hard to stand there and try and stay upright, because everything in my body and mind was telling me to topple over and call it a night right there on the floor. But I finished the movie. And then I passed out. Classic Iceman.

Jean Segura #9 - .286 batting AVG, 10 HRs, 38 RBIs, 40 stolen bases, and part of a solid "up the middle" combo along with Lucroy/Maldonado and Carlos Gomez. Just like he used to be a part of the "Jean Jean made a machine, Yo Yo made it go, Hart Hart blew a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart" combo.

.246 batting AVG, 5 HRs, 31 RBIs, 20 stolen bases, 146 games played and solid-ish defense (16 errors) but basically a lost year. If you are going to point the finger at somebody for the problems that happened in 2014, he probably deserves it. If you want to pull his finger, I hope he gets it and cranks out a loud and reverberating fart.

Jeff Bianchi #14 - .236 AVG, 3 HRs, 26 RBIs and still a valuable member of the team because he's the backup at all 4 Infield positions and emergency 5th Outfielder. A good Utility Infielder is a huge asset in the National League.

.171 batting AVG, 0 HRs, 6 RBIs, 29 games played, 70 at bats and basically a non-factor for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers. No offense, but fuck Jeff Bianchi.

Despite his struggles on and off the field, the Brewers still stuck with him at shortstop all seasons long, and he ended up playing in 146 (out of 162) games. Jeff Bianchi made a few appearances while Segura took some time off to be with his family, but for the most part it was the Segura show. I commend the Brewers for sticking with him through thick and thin. Until September when it all started falling apart, it was ok if he was having an off year. But when things started to go in the tank, it became apparent that the lack of offense from the shortstop position contributed to the collapse. His batting average in September was .319, but he only hit 1 homerun and drove in 3 RBIs. It was nice to see him finish strong average wise (because he's never going to be a power hitter and is capable of batting .270-.280) but it was too little too late.

Not to get ahead of myself, but if he is anything like his 2013 season, he's worth an extra 2-3 wins on his own. If Ryan Braun (which I will cover shortly) also rebounds, he's worth an extra 4-5 wins. Think about that for a second. The Brewers finished with an 82-80 record and missed the playoffs. If Segura and Braun played like they were capable of in 2014, they win an extra 5-7 games. That means they win 87-89 games and make the playoffs. That's such a huge difference! If they make the playoffs in 2014, September doesn't matter and the offeseason is completely different. And so is my attitude going into the 2015 season. That's how important Jean Segura is. That just goes to show you that something so little can end up being so big. It's the whole drop in a pond and the ripple effect. All it takes is for someone to make that drop in the pond. I'm hoping Segura can be that drop. 

 - pookon -

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