The whole point of this trip was to spend time with James and Melissa. If that was the bare minimum, then we achieved our goal. But even though I'm one lazy ass bastard, I do more than the bare minimum when it comes to having adventures. I like to go balls to the walls until the wheels fall off. But I can't let the wheels fall because then the car stops driving. What happens then? The adventure is over. It should never come to that, so on this trip we added a few more things to the checklist. We did things like rage, try out some new shit and also anything that my Mom wanted to do. After all, she was the one bankrolling this little endeavor. So when the boss gives orders, you say yes. Fortunately for me (although I didn't know it at the time of selection), the boss wanted to check out The Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina.
I didn't really know anything about the mansion that George Vanderbilt uhh... built, prior to driving into the grounds. This was half on purpose and half on accident. When I heard that this was the plan, I stopped my inquisitive nature and decided to play the cards when they fell into my hands. This would allow me to live in the moment and react to every little thing that was happening around me. If I would have paid attention to history, television, my education in life and most importantly my mother, I would have known that the Biltmore Estate is like the largest privately owned house/land in the United States if not the World. I don't have my fact checkers on the payroll right now so I can't really look that up, but it really was something that I had to see with my own eyes before I believed just how incredibly ridiculous this place was.
Almost everything that I learned about this joint, I learned from a dog. While I know that sounds impossible, you just wouldn't understand it unless you took the kids version of the audio tour. They have an optional audio tour and it comes in two versions - one for adults and one for kids. I listened to the adults version for just a few minutes to know that I chose poorly. Luckily I was only on the first stop of the tour, so I went back and got the kid's version. I made the right decision. Not only did Cedric, the Vanderbilt's St. Bernard, give me a good history lesson, but he also kept me thoroughly entertained the entire time. I can't remember what he sounded like (he spoke perfect English), but in my head he sounded like Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams). We weren't supposed to take pictures inside the house, but I had to take a picture of the indoor swimming pool. Cedric told me to try out the acoustics of this room, so I sang in an opera voice. When people around me looked at me weird, I told them that the dog made me do it. Like that made it acceptable. But this isn't anything out of the ordinary for me. Everything I do causes people to stare at me.
- pookon -
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