Even It Out Month 2 - Day 30 (November 30)

At the beginning of November, I weighed 358 pounds. I'm happy to say that by the end of this month, I'm down to 350 pounds. That's pretty incredible to me considering that this month contains my favorite eating day of the year - Thanksgiving. I was actually able to control myself for the most part and I only fixed up one plate of food (albeit an oval plate) and didn't take any leftovers home. That's a first for me because I usually overdo it and end up in a food coma that keeps me in that state longer than Elaine Esposito. By the time I wake up, I only feel regret and stomach pains. But this year was different. This time around I was conscious of my decisions and didn't go overboard like the men unable to occupy a lifeboat on the ill fated voyage of the Titanic. What? Too soon? It's never too soon. Especially to make important life decisions that people aren't fully supportive of or ready to understand. Well this is my struggle, not theirs. They need to do what they need to do and I need to do what I need to do.

Gravy for days. That is a World that I want to live in. Of course one may argue that since I live in America and come from a middle class family, I already live in a World where that is a reality. At any given moment, I can go to the nearest convenience store and purchase enough gravy to keep me satisfied until the next time I can go out and get more gravy. While one may call this "living the dream", I call this being caught in an endless loop to which there is no escape. I can have whatever I want whenever I want. How do you say no to that? How do you stop yourself from taking advantage of this situation? If I turn my back on everything I've ever known, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to myself. That is why I have to keep this experiment going in order to retrain myself into a different way of thinking and a complete lifestyle change. This isn't going to be easy and this change isn't going to happen overnight. This is about erasing 34 years of learned behavior and completely starting over. This sort of thing has already proved to be quite difficult and I don't see it getting any easier. But nothing worth having isn't worth working for. I've been working for some time now and I'll be damned if I'm going to let myself fail now. 

2 months down in this experiment and everything seems to be going OK. While this is certainly not ideal and I don't expect you to understand it, I need to do what works for me. And this works. Whether you agree with it or not, this is undeniably working. I don't intend to stick to this plan forever, but I'm at least going to keep this gravy train going for another month. So that's my plan. And for time being, I'm sticking to it. It's up to you if you want to come along for the ride.

 - pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Even It Out Month 2 - Day 17 (Tuesday November 17)

I know that it's been what seems like a long time since I last posted in here. That's because there isn't really much to say. I have a couple of updates to provide and also to let you know that I am continuing this challenge for another month. In fact, I believe that I just committed to doing this challenge throughout the entire Winter. Because of that, I'm only going to post periodic updates when I actually have something to say. There's no sense in wasting any more of your time if you came here for the most important question - is this experiment working? Well, at my last check on Nov 16th, I clocked in at 352 pounds, which means that I have lost 6 pounds since Nov 1st and a total of 17 pounds since beginning this challenge. That's 17 pounds in 6 weeks for those keeping track at home. So of course I'm going to keep this going. But that's not to say that I'm not going to make some changes today and in the future in order to keep this train rolling right along on track. If you know me, then you know how much I want to derail this train. It would be one hell of show. But not until I'm ready to end it all. I'm not there pal. Not even close. Life is just beginning for me.

I mentioned in the last post from Oct 31 that there was so much wrong that I did over the final 3 weeks of the month. I'm doing my best to stay away from the things that led me to only lose 1 pound a week during that time period. Apparently it is working because I'm up to 3 pounds lost per week. Besides a few very minor infractions, I have respected the Gremlin Rule (no food after midnight). I've been eating healthier, but the alcohol/beverage intake is still through the roof. This isn't helping me one bit, but I realize that this problem isn't going to be easily resolved in the foreseeable future. I can't possibly take that out of the picture right now because I'm taking away one of the things I love the most - food. If I would have to pick something as my favorite, I think I would have to say food is at the top of my list. Nothing in this World makes me happier, which is probably how I became the beast that I am today. I still have yet to find something that can replace that love, but I feel like I'm getting close.

That's because I have found my new obsession - a TV show called "Make It or Break It" that ran on ABC Family from 2009 - 2012. It's about a group of teenage gymnasts training for the Olympics in Boulder, CO. Now before you call the authorities, I'll have you know that all of these girls are above 18. But it wasn't the girls in tight clothes doing stretches and incredible athletic feats that keeps me watching (although I'll sadly admit that's what drew me to the show). It's the teenage girl drama that I can't get enough of, especially from my girl Lauren (the one in the orange in the picture on the right). If you follow me on Twitter, then you know I've been jabbering on nonstop about Lauren and how I'm caught up in her destructive drama that barrels in like a hurricane and obliterates everything in her path. Hurricane Lauren. Lord help us all. I absolutely love teenage drama (and love teenage girl drama even more). I get addicted to shows like this on ABC Family, Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel. I have problems. But like last month when I was too busy moving and watching the MLB Playoffs to think about eating, this has been my distraction this month. I could go on and on and on about how much I am loving this show and the teenage girl drama, but I don't want to be any creepier than I already am. Moving on.

There are two more things that I want to mention before starting season 2 of "Make It or Break It" - during the month of November I decided to switch it up and only eat on even days and I joined a "Biggest Loser" competition at work. The decision to go with even days was made about midway through October when I extended this plan into November. Why change it? Because Thanksgiving lands on Thursday, November 26. I'm all about this challenge, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit and stare at a smorgasbord of food and not eat a single morsel of it (for those new to this challenge, in the month of October, I only ate on odd days). I'll do my best to not go overboard, but that's kind of hard to not do when sailing on the gravy boat. 

At work they are doing a 16 week "Biggest Loser" challenge and you have to pay $1 for every week. There are 25 people doing it (for a total of $400) and at the end of the challenge, the top 3 people with the most weight loss share the pot (something like 60%/30%/10%). You weigh in every Thursday and for every pound you gain, you have to pay a penalty $1. That weekly money then goes to the weekly biggest loser. While the monetary incentive is nice, I decided to join this just to show everyone that I could do this. I doubt that I will win any of the the weekly challenges because aside from the first week loss of 9 pounds, I've been steadily losing a few pounds per week. For me this isn't about the money or the title of champion. This is about a long term goal to be healthier. I might have a shot at the end prize if I stick to the plan and make improvements along the way, but we'll worry about that at the end of February. For now, I'm going to go with what is working and stay on target. I just have to take it day by day. Baby steps. That's really the only way that this goal can be achieved.  

 - pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Even It Out - Day 31 (Saturday October 31)

So the month is come and gone and I'm left here trying to figure out if this challenge was beneficial in any way. Just to recap, during the month of October, I only ate on odd days in an attempt to even it out and reduce my calorie intake. Here is what went right - I did only eat on odd days. So in that sense, I successfully completed this challenge. I also ended up losing a total of 11 pounds over the 31 days. That's a good thing. I'm not going to overlook that or downplay that in any way because for a person of my size, losing weight is an absolute must. I have to be a healthier person and make changes in my diet and exercise routine in order to elongate my life. I set a goal and stuck to it. I proved to myself that I could do something as long as I put my mind to it. I learned a lot about myself and my body and how much food you really need in order to survive. When I did get a chance to eat, I wanted to eat real food and things like snacks, candy and fast food were not appetizing to me. That stuff really has no place in your food consumption (but I'll be the first to tell you that it is incredibly delicious). So I can hang my hat on a couple of things. 

But here's what went wrong. For the first week, I did a good job of only eating when I was hungry (once again, on odd days only). During the second week, something bad happened. On those odd days (when I could eat), I started binge eating and eating snacks, candy and other non-essential food items. I was stuffing my face with anything within arms reach. It was a horrible sight to behold. That's one of the reasons why I lost 9 pounds in the first week and then only two pounds over the remaining 3 weeks. Also during that second week, I started treating days like calendar days and not as the time between when you wake up and when you go to bed. The difference is this - take for example October 18th. Since it was an even day, I didn't eat. But then that night at midnight, I ate because the calendar said it was now the 19th. I was in clear violation of one of the big rules that I put in place when I first started this challenge - The Gremlin Rule (no food after midnight). That was supposed to safeguard me during this challenge and ignoring it ended up replicating the demon inside of me.

I previously talked about how I was busy this month moving out of my place. This worked for and against me. While it gave me something to do instead of eating, it caused me to gorge on some food items with the whole "can't take it with you" mentality. I had some food items that I didn't want to move because of lack of space at my new place (The Mothership). So I either ate poorly or ate too much of some items because I didn't want to pack or transport them. If I hadn't been moving, I might not have acted that way. That could have resulted in the minimal weight loss. But I can't really put that all into the wrong category because moving helped me to stay active by walking things out to the car, going up and down stairs and lifting heavy objects. Without the move, I doubt that I would have done as much exercise. 

And while diet/calorie reduction is the most important step of weight loss, regular exercise to burn calories certainly plays a very big roll as well. I probably did a lot of other things wrong, but there is only one more that I will point out. My alcohol consumption was through the roof during this challenge. My goal was to not eat on even days. I told you that I achieved that goal. But I didn't say that I wouldn't consumer calories. Sometimes you forget how many calories, sugar, sodium, carbs, etc. are in booze, beer and the multitude of mixers that go with them. Even on days that I wasn't eating, I still took in my fair share (but probably more than my fair share) of calories. That didn't help in trying to lose weight because I didn't stay true to the plan of every other day. Apparently I found a loophole. I know I drink too much. It's kind of my thing. It's not to deal with problems and I don't consider myself a true addict, but it's definitely a problem that cannot be ignored. It became more apparent during this month because without the food to help soak it up, it took very little to get me drunk. The "normal" pour that I usually do is enough to knock out a baby elephant. So there is still a lot of work to do.

At the end of the day I'll take away two things. This kind of diet does indeed work for me because of my addictive personality. I do better without having something than doing it in moderation. I'm all or none and until I can figure out how to properly balance everything out, I need to keep doing this in order to be healthier. In fact, I've decided to keep this going in November but with a couple of changes (look for that in an upcoming blog post). The other thing that I learned is how little food a body needs to survive and how much I eat because it is available or if I am bored. I need to figure out a way to resist boredom and temptation and I'll be alright. I've never had self-control because I've always had enough money and any food you want, any time, is available (this is America after all). Once I learn to say no to those things, I will be a better (and healthier) person.

I didn't write as much as I would have preferred, but that's OK because I was too busy living or die tryin'. Yeah. Right. But once my internet got cut off in the first week of the month, it became more difficult to sit down and blog about this challenge. Talk about your first world problems, right? But all of that will change in November because I'll be continuing the challenge with a lot more stability in my life. I don't know now if that will make it easier or more difficult. You'll just have to stay tuned to see what happens as I attempt to Even it Out.

 - pookon -

http://www.pookon.com/
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman