Every now and then I come back to my list of things that I want to be. It's a "bucket list" of sorts, except for that the majority of these things are impossible to achieve. Take for instance where I say I want to be one of the rings that circle the planet Saturn. That is physically impossible. The only way that I could achieve that is if I found a Genie in a lamp and wasted one of my 3 wishes on that. Not only would that be unbelievably stupid, but I also would not be able to make any more wishes once I wished for that. And even if I did that as my 3rd wish I would no longer be alive because I would just exist as ice, rocks and dust particles in outer space. But there are some things that I could do if I was in the right place at the right time (like being the last person to ever close Wolski's) or if I put a little effort into my life (like being the man of some woman's dreams.) It's a ridiculous list. I know. But so is everything else I put on here. I don't call it Pookon's Ill Blog for nothing.
Basically when I get drunk my mind goes random and I add a couple more things to this list. As you can see, this particular list started way back in August of 2006. Then I picked it up again in January of 2010 when I was browsing through some old saved material on here. And then I got drunk on a Tuesday night. I didn't intend to do that, but I was already having a rough week and I found out that yet another person I know was married and I am still single. And getting older and less attractive by the minute. Normally that kind of information doesn't throw me off the deep end, but like I said, I was already having a terrible week and I just kind of hit a breaking point. My way of working out problems and frustration is to have a couple of drinks and start writing. That may not be the best way to handle it, but at least it brings about some pretty random works of literature. So without further ado, I proudly present the latest edition of the I Wanna Be... list.
Basically when I get drunk my mind goes random and I add a couple more things to this list. As you can see, this particular list started way back in August of 2006. Then I picked it up again in January of 2010 when I was browsing through some old saved material on here. And then I got drunk on a Tuesday night. I didn't intend to do that, but I was already having a rough week and I found out that yet another person I know was married and I am still single. And getting older and less attractive by the minute. Normally that kind of information doesn't throw me off the deep end, but like I said, I was already having a terrible week and I just kind of hit a breaking point. My way of working out problems and frustration is to have a couple of drinks and start writing. That may not be the best way to handle it, but at least it brings about some pretty random works of literature. So without further ado, I proudly present the latest edition of the I Wanna Be... list.
(from the archives - August 27, 2006)
Scatergories World Champion, makeup artist on the next George A. Romero's ______ of the Dead movie, a Canadian Mountie, Ludo in the Broadway production of Labyrinth, the one who is with stupid, born in the U.S.A., on the cover of the Rolling Stone, able to shop at trendy stores like the Gap, Abercrombie + Fitch and Aeropostale, able to break through child-locked devices, a glass is half-full kind of guy, a firefighter so that I could slide down that wicked pole, not mathematically eliminated, Michael Jackson's backup dancer, the Cowardly Lion, Facebooked by every student at UWM, Mr. Tumnus in the fantasy land of Narnia
(from the current archives - Saturday January 9, 2010)
riding shotgun in Uncle Greg's Maserati, the last person to ever close Wolski's, Milwaukee's Best Ice, backup harmonica player to Stevie Wonder, Bob Dylan or Neil Young just in case they don't feel like doing it on one of their songs, Buddy Christ's bestest buddy, an expert at demolitions and dynamite so that companies will pay me to blow shit up, a World Series of Beer Pong Champion, a paid intern at BrodAmerica Enterprises, able to laugh at myself after I finish a bottle of Jack Daniels then go out to shovel snow and lose my keys, a contributor on VH1's Pop Up Video, the answer to the million dollar question on the Regis Philbin hosted version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, one of the official sponsors of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver, Pronounced Leh-Nerd Skin-Nerd
(from the even more current archives - Tuesday October 12, 2010)
a homeless man with a funny sign, 30 and flirty, cast as the Thing in the upcoming and unnecessary remake of The Fantastic Four, the spokesman for San Juan premium rum, the missing link, taken seriously for once, married with children (I'd even take being Al Bundy at this point in my life), one of the rings circling the planet Saturn, riding in the front seat because when you're riding in the back seat you're just cargo, all that I can be, in an A Capella choir that only sings current Top 40 hits like "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry, a mad scientist like Greg Proops, sober on a Tuesday, happy about my life and not wallow in the depression that is my failures, able to do long division on paper, the saxophone player who plays a solo in every 80's song, smarter than the average mouse like Rez, the man of some woman's dreams, the backup vocals in my own song like the Choir of Timmys, the king of the world House in the remake of Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, potty trained, the leader of the Revolution, Tom Barrett so I can approve this message, able to handle my problems without alcohol, able to go to infinity and beyond, more punctual so that I can come up with another I Wanna Be... list every 4 weeks instead of every 4 years...
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
(from the even more current archives - Tuesday October 12, 2010)
a homeless man with a funny sign, 30 and flirty, cast as the Thing in the upcoming and unnecessary remake of The Fantastic Four, the spokesman for San Juan premium rum, the missing link, taken seriously for once, married with children (I'd even take being Al Bundy at this point in my life), one of the rings circling the planet Saturn, riding in the front seat because when you're riding in the back seat you're just cargo, all that I can be, in an A Capella choir that only sings current Top 40 hits like "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry, a mad scientist like Greg Proops, sober on a Tuesday, happy about my life and not wallow in the depression that is my failures, able to do long division on paper, the saxophone player who plays a solo in every 80's song, smarter than the average mouse like Rez, the man of some woman's dreams, the backup vocals in my own song like the Choir of Timmys, the king of the world House in the remake of Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, potty trained, the leader of the Revolution, Tom Barrett so I can approve this message, able to handle my problems without alcohol, able to go to infinity and beyond, more punctual so that I can come up with another I Wanna Be... list every 4 weeks instead of every 4 years...
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment