I woke up on the morning of January 2nd sick as hell. All that I had to eat yesterday was was a power bar and 1/4 of a Subway footlong sub. Although I wasn't throwing up anymore, things were still coming out of my body wrong. Let's leave it at that. So the last thing that I wanted to do was get out of bed, start drinking and play some beer pong. I was really slow moving this morning and just putting on my socks and shoes took 10 minutes. Normally out here at the World Series of Beer Pong I start drinking around 9am to get ready for the first round of games that begin at 11am. Like most beer pong players, I play better when I've had a few and I'm a little loose. Due to my sickness and exhaustion, I wouldn't have the liquid courage in me to facilitate that loose feeling. I was going to have to go down this path alone. It was really hard at first, but then I got a natural buzz when we won our first game of the tournament. I'm a firm believer in winning the first game because then it's all downhill from there and you can breath a big sigh of relief. Lose the first game and the pressure starts to mount and your back is already up against the wall. We didn't have to worry about that though. With a 1-0 record, Hummel that Shit! was in the driver's seat and cruising towards respectability.
Oh if it would have only been that easy. I don't know the the hell happened, but somewhere along the way I forgot how to shoot a beer pong ball. You could argue that my lack of practice over the last year directly contributed to my lost shot, but I don't think it's that simple. I do have some video as evidence, but I'm not going to provide that for you at this point. You're just going to go ahead and believe me right now. My shot was so bad that I either hit the table a good 6 inches short of the cups or I airballed it so bad the ball is still traveling. That ball may never land anywhere. I tried to go back to the room to take some shots on my own and I also tried playing against Hummel in the El Dorado practice room. We even played against some other dudes to simulate an actual game but it wasn't enough. I had lost my shot. Hummel was carrying the team but 1 person cannot shoulder all of the weight. It takes 2 people to win a game, which is why it was no surprise to me that we lost the next 5 games that day. Did it suck? Hell yeah it did. It still burns a little bit right now but I'm over it. That's because there's more important things in life than beer pong and in the grand scheme of things none of this matters. God doesn't care about beer pong records. Nor do my real friends. People out here at the World Series might thing I'm a loser because the Iceman has fallen from grace and I'm not the guy from the movie. I am the same guy from the movie, I'm just not a beer pong player anymore. Deal with it pal. By the end of the day Hummel that Shit's record of 1-5 didn't mean a damn thing to me because I had better things to do like hang out with cousin Kevin, who was in Las Vegas for the first time. After going out for a night on the town we stopped to record this video around 330am.
I hope I was able to cover all of the stuff I did on Day 1 of WSoBP VII, but like always this is just a part of the story. This is what I'm able to remember at this point. For a better breakdown of what I was thinking during the day I will provide you with my submissions to Twitter. Don't read them unless you are over 18. Some people just can't handle the Iceman. Don't be one of them.
Getting ready for Day 1 of the #WSoBP. I'm nervous as all hell. Don't know why. I'm not good. Just go have fun pal.
Hummel that Shit! gets a 1 cup victory and starts Day 1 with a 1-0 record. #Rage. #WSoBP
Iceman forgot to bring the offense and Hummel that Shit! loses game 2 to even their record at 1-1. There is no try. #WSoBP
Couldn't hit a 6 stack. Pretty basic shit we missed there. And my looks are becoming a problem. Hummel that Shit! now 1-2. #WSoBP
A 7 cup loss puts Hummel that Shit! into the "let's have a good time" club. Oh well. There's always next year. 1-3 record. #WSoBP
A lopsided loss puts Hummel that Shit on the outside looking in. A 1-4 record is not ok. Oh well. Time to #RFT. #PositiveInEveryScenario
Classic case of "we are who we thought they were" as Hummel that Shit! falls to 1-5. There is no spoon. #disappointed
After a successful stint of #NapAndRally, I'm once again gambling away my children's college funds. #LasVegas
At Planet Hollywood Casino. If I lean forward and peak between 2 slot machines, I can see sexy ladies dancing. #creeper
Just won $50 from the random penguin slot machine. Dolphins may be smug, but penguins kick ass. #animals
Some woman sat next to me so I can't creepily oogle the sexy dancers. I'd look at her, but I'm not into mature women. #cougar
The cougar has fled the jungle, so now I can once again anonymously oogle the sexy dancers. The way it was meant to be. #creeper
These new slot machines have surround sound that vibrate the chairs. My sac tingled a bit. #aLittleGross #LasVegas
The lady next to me needs to stop hitting the machine. Don't make them mad. We all know what happens next. #Terminator #TheMatrix
I got 2 Bruce Waynes and 3 Batmans but the machine didn't give me money. That's not fair. It's the same person. #SoMuchForAI
Batman took $20 from me. Look I know he serves the public by locking up criminals, but do the people have to fund his cause? #bullshit
It's been a long day for me and its 345am. I have to go to bed so I can wake up and do it all over again. With better results. #WSoBP
Someone left some floor pizza outside of our hotel room. The help will probably think it was us, but I promise it was not. #framed
That's all I know right now. Someday maybe the rest of the details will come back to me. But until that happens you're just going to have to go ahead and take my word for it. You just have to damn it! You weren't there! You're lucky that I'm saying anything at all. What's that bullshit saying? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? I could've held true to that archaic and cliched statement and not said a damn thing. But I decided to share it with you. Why? Because sharing is caring. And I care about all of you guys. Because without you I wouldn't have an audience and I would be stuck here by myself talking to myself. If I wanted to do that then it would be just like every other night of my life. I feel the need to switch it up a bit every now and then. You know, to keep it fresh. And fresh is what I do. That's why they call me Iceman. Or some shit like that. I've run out of things to say so I'm just gonna color up my chips and walk away from the table. Stay tuned for Day 2 of the World Series of Beer Pong. Later.
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