What's Brewing in the Crewbicle? - Week 23 - St. Louis Cardinals / Atlanta Braves

We have been chasing the St. Louis Cardinals longer than Tom has been chasing Jerry. That's because they are the class of the NL Central and they seemingly have been since like forever really. I don't have the time nor the patience to look this one up, but I can promise you that they finish within the top 3 of the division every year. I hate the Cardinals in a way that is different than the way in which I hate the Cubs. I wish the Brewers could be like the Cardinals. Mostly I wish that we had a storied history and won multiple World Series Championships. Shit, I'd give just about anything to see the Brewers win just 1 in my lifetime. And the Cardinals go out and win an improbable one last year as the Wild Card team when everyone said that it couldn't be done. They went on some ridiculous run to close out the year so why can't the Brewers do the same thing? Truth be told they are on a roll right now but the 2012 Brewers are not the 2011 Cardinals. You can point fingers and call out several players but I'm not going to get into that. Their situations are completely different which is the biggest disparity between the Cardinals and the Brewers. Last year the Cardinals were in 2nd place for the Wildcard and only had to worry about the Braves in front of them. I'm not saying it happens every day that a team goes on a ridiculous hot streak while the other one goes on an epic collapse, but it is a more likely scenario to expect 3/4 teams in front of you to fall apart all at the same time while you go on some crazy run. It's just too tall of an order to ask for considering they have already played over their heads to get back to this point. I don't know man, call me a negative Nancy or some shit but I don't care. For personal reasons I just can't get buy in and say they are going to make the playoffs because it goes against every thing I've believed this entire season. Feel free to yell at me all you want and take away my fan card. I know that I'm right. At least I'm right in my world. And I don't really care about what happens outside of my world. Scotty's World. Booyah motherfucker. If you don't like it you can write your own god damn blog and tell everyone your opinion. And now back to my opinion. You know you want to hear it.

Friday September 7 - Sunday September 9. Milwaukee Brewers vs St. Louis Cardinals at Busch Stadium. Games 138 - 140 of 162. The St. Louis Cardinals currently hold the 2nd Wildcard and final playoff spot. Well, at least the gateway into the playoffs. This series was huge. The Brewers have been on a nice run lately and are within a few games of .500 for the first time since April or some shit. A lot of people are back on the playoff wagon but not me. They need to have a winning record first before we talk about that nonsense. And here's the other thing - Pittsburgh (2.5 back) and LA (1.5 back) still stand in our way. And even if we somehow win the 2nd Wildcard we'd have to play Atlanta in a 1-game playoff game to make the NLDS. So it'll take a lot of work. So now we got that out of the way. Even though the season will end Oct. 3rd, that doesn't mean we still can't have fun now. I hate the Cardinals more than I hate the Cubs. Wow. Didn't think that would happen. But after the NLCS last year and the fact that they've won multiple World Series Championships in their history makes me boil over with jealousy. So I like to stick it to them when I can. Friday after a rain delay and 13 innings the Brew Crew really showed them what's up. Never feels good to lose a game like that. Suck it St. Louis. Your Arch is an abomination. Rainbow looking f*ck. Saturday we owned them from start to finish and then nearly stole Sunday's game but lost it in the 10th. Well done on the road there gang but now it's time to come back home and take care of business. I need a winning record. I'm not ready to be a loser again. Tired of that shit. Brewers 5, Cardinals 4. Brewers 6, Cardinals 3. Cardinals 5, Brewers 4.

The Braves hold the 1st Wildcard with an 81-60 record. With 21 games remaining they could lose all of them and still finish .500. They could go 10-11 the rest of the way and still win the 1st NL Wildcard with a 91-71 record. Never say never, but I seriously doubt that the Atlanta Braves of 2012 will suffer the same collapse as their 2011 counterparts. So why do I bring this up? This series isn't as important as the one against the Cardinals was because you aren't chasing the Braves. You are so far behind them you can't even see their dust trails anymore. So for the Brewers these games are only important as far as winning goes; the opponent is irrelevant. At this point the Brewers just need to keep on winning no matter who they play and winning was what they did. I was at 2 of the 3 games (Monday and Wednesday) with my buddy Mike Bates who was in town with the week, and it was a hell of a good time. Even though I'll hold true to my beliefs that they won't make the playoffs, you've got to give the players credit for turning it around and getting the fans back into this. The atmosphere is always great at Miller Park and it is without a doubt one of the best places to watch a baseball game. But without the fans getting hyped and going nuts it just isn't the same. It's not quite as it was last year (and who could blame them as the Brewers had 57 wins at home, by far the best home record in all of baseball) but the home crowd is still having a great time. They must all be drunk. With this 3 game sweep the Brewers are above .500 for the first time since April 12 when they were 4-3. Let that sink in for a little bit. They were above .500 when they were 4-3 (Game 7) and did not get back to that point until 72-71 (Game 143). That's just wrong but it just goes to show what kind of season it has been and why I haven't been able to fully enjoy it. For the most part it has been a disappointing season. But with 19 games remaining they have put themselves in a position to make it one hell of a ride on the way out. It sure feels nice to back at this point but it is too little too late. We should have been hovering around .500 all season long if not for the slow offense and shaky bullpen in the first few months of the season. But it is good to be back. Now let's see where we can go from here.

Monday September 10 - Wednesday September 13. Milwaukee Brewers vs Atlanta Braves at Miller Park. Games 141 - 143 of 162. What the hell is going on here? And I mean that in a good way. When Gamel and Gonzalez went down we were in trouble. When Lucroy broke his hand I lost hope. When Axford and KRod blew seemingly every game which led to 7 losses in a row we waived the white flag and traded Greinke. Flash forward to today and we're 1 game above .500. 3 games back of the 2nd Wildcard, winners of 18 of the last 23 games including 9 straight at home and the hottest team in baseball with 19 games remaining. We're seriously in this playoff chase. The Atlanta Braves are the 1st Wildcard with a 81-63 record, but we manhandled them this series. Do you know what manhandling is? That's when you grab a guy's balls, taking control of the very thing that makes him a man. Our offense was clutch, the starting pitching was dominant and the bullpen locked it down. This team is very impressive right now. I still think we're a longshot to make the playoffs because we need to go 15-4 (for 87 wins) to have a legitimate chance at the Wildcard. Plus we need to hope that St. Louis, Pittsburgh, LA and Philadelphia lose almost every day. It's a tall order. I don't like them tall. I like them short, sexy and sassy. I can't go all in. I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again. if they come up short. I can't go balls to the walls because I don't want the wheels to fall off. But what's the worst that could happen? They fall short and we reload for next year. Brewers fans are used to next year. Brewers 4, Braves 1. Brewers 5, Braves 0. Brewers 8, Braves 2.

Coming up next is the New York Mets and the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Mets have lost their last 6 games and are crumbling in the 2nd half while the Brewers have won 18 of their last 25 including 17 of 19 at home. I think it's pretty safe to say that this series will work out in our favor. After that we start our final roadtrip of the year with a brutal 10-game, 3 city stretch that begins in Pittsburgh. At least we have the Pirates' number over the last few years and their ship is sinking badly. We'll make them walk the plank for sure. I thought I was done with this Pirate Talk nonsense. But with International Talk Like a Pirate Day coming up on September 19th this is only the beginning it what is sure to be a long trip at sea. I hope I don't get scurvy.

 - pookon - 

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

What's Brewing in the Crewbicle? - Week 22 - Pittsburgh Pirates / Miami Marlins

I know that we played the Pittsburgh Pirates again but don't worry folks - I won't talk about pillaging, plundering or dirty pirate hookers. Although I could go for a little booty right about now. Yeeeeeee-aaaaaarrrrrghhh!!!! Avast her panties! God damn do I have some serious problems. I need to get a girlfriend, a nice Catholic girl, so that I will get back on the straight and narrow path towards righteousness. I do need to get back on the right path because I had one hell of a weekend that I can only remember because of my Twitter account. Saturday was my cousin Susie's fiancee Curtis' Bachelor Party. Here are a couple of tweets to help you get into the spirit (although booze probably helps a ton): On the party bus drinking backpack rum, on the way to some drunken debauchery. #CurtisBachelorParty Just played a $1 slot machine and won $82 doll hairs! Just like that! No effort! Casinos rule! #CurtisBachelorParty. I'm getting more action from the air conditioner than I am from the girl on the stage. You've got to be kidding me. #CurtisBachelorParty. That doesn't even to begin to describe the night but I spent the whole next day (Sunday) trying to recover from it despite having to work the game at Miller Park. Even though we won 12-8 I couldn't stand being there because I felt awful. The game dragged on for hours and all I wanted to do is sleep off my hangover that started hitting me about 2pm, which I figure was delayed because I was still drunk when I woke up that morning. Seriously man, I blacked out the night before and it wasn't until a few days later where I heard stories of what happened. Ha ha ha. Classic. So that's all that I remember (or don't remember?) of this Labor Day Weekend series with the Pirates.

Friday August 31 - Sunday September 2. Milwaukee Brewers vs Pittsburgh Pirates at Miller Park. Games 131 - 133 of 162. This past weekend feels like it was so long ago. So much to the point that I don't really remember it. That seems to be my thing over the weekend. This was my weekend that I don't remember to remember forever. Epic man. I know I was at the game working on Friday but I even looked through the box score and I don't recognize anything familiar. But I know they won 9-3. Saturday I don't even know where I was, but according to my Twitter account @pookondotcom, I had one hell of a time at Curtis' Bachelor Party. Apparently Corey Hart hit a walkoff homerun or something. I remember Sunday but only because of how awful it was. I felt like I was dying and I very much could have been going through my own personal hell. The game seemed to last forever even though it was 3 1/2 hours long. But I couldn't handle it and must have looked like a complete waste of space out there. Oh well. That's over. We're back to 3 games under .500 and surprisingly only 6 1/2 games back of the wildcard. While many people hopped back on the bandwagon I'm gonna hold my position I've had all year. My eyes and brain overtake what my heart wants to feel. It's just not our year man. Brewers 9, Pirates 3. Brewers 3, Pirates 2. Brewers 12, Pirates 8.

I don't really remember any of these games either. I think I'm sensing a common theme here, only this series wasn't booze related. In a matter of happenstance or coincidence I found a place to live and after a little over a year, I moved out of my Mother's house. Obviously I was busy over the past weekend blacking out so Labor Day (when everyone else takes the day off for one last hurrah before summer is over) I was working hard carrying couches and boxes up the stairs. It was a total blast and I loved every minute of it. Bullshit. Who loves moving? Moving sucks balls. I don't even know why I keep doing it every single year. Once of these days I'll plant my roots somewhere and grow my own family tree but that idea is still pretty far away. I listed to the games on the radio when I could but for the most part I was busy all week moving stuff. Because of my 9-5 job and being busy on the weekends, I could only move a load from my Dad's house from 6-8 after work and for the most part I was moving everything myself. Thanks to Dad, Brian, Jenny and Mom for their help if they end up reading this and think that I screwed them out of some of the credit. So I apologize if I don't recall any of the details from these games except for the box scores but for me it was business as usual in the 2012 season - life comes first, Brewers baseball is now secondary. I still care about my team and I love them to pieces, but the biggest of hugs are now reserved for the people that I care about the most, not 25 men who don't give a shit about me and will never be there to help me out in my time of need except to offer a distraction. So I for about a week here I lost track of the team but I'm sure that someone out there (what was his name... Jesus?) will forgive me for it. I promise I'll be here the rest of September to half pay attention to this team while I'm trying to put my life back together.

Monday September 3 - Thursday September 6. Milwaukee Brewers vs Miami Marlins at Marlins Park. Games 134 - 137 of 162. For everyone who has always been on the playoffs bandwagon or has recently jumped back on, this series should tell you why they aren't going to make it. Pitching and defense doomed them in Game 1. Game 2 was a very nice all around game, but I'd like to see our starters go deeper than 5-6 innings. In Game 3 the bullpen tried to take away Wily Peralta's 1st major league victory much like they did for Mark Rogers a few times. But somehow they pulled through. And then in Game 4 they lacked clutch hitting and went 0 for 7 with runners in scoring position. Each game was completely different. And therein lies the problem with the 2012 Brewers - lack of consistency. They came so close as to be 2 games under .500 (for the first time since mid May) and are 7 games back in the Wild Card with 25 games left to play. Look, I understand we're not technically out of it, but it's tough to expect us to continue this recent hot streak while also expecting the teams in front of us (Arizona, LA, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Atlanta) to all go cold at the same time. It's like the classic Lloyd Christmas "So you're telling me there's a chance!" after all that "One in a million talk." It's not likely to happen man. Especially considering the 2012 Brewers. Marlins 7, Brewers 3. Brewers 8, Marlins 4. Brewers 8, Marlins 5. Marlins 6, Brewers 2.

It's really nice to be back around .500 for some reason. I don't get get why being average is so important to me but I don't want them to have a losing record at the end of the season. When they were at their lowest point which I think is around 12 games under, I was more of a Reck than usual because all seemed to be lost with no chance of being found. But look! Here we are climbing back towards respectability and making a name for ourselves along the way. Sure we may hit a couple of bumps along the way but then who doesn't? The best part about grade school fieldtrips was sitting in the back of the yellow school bus and going over bumps. Since those sumbitches didn't have seatbelts sometimes you could literally fly right out of your seat. It was always a mad dash to get on of the few seats back there and I remember on several vacations stepping off the bus nauseated because my stomach just went for a wicked ride from St. Catherine's to the Pumpkin Farm. I wish everything in life could be that simple and pure but that's not the way that life looks when you grow up and let things take you down. When you got sick from the bumps on the bus as a kid you thought it was the sweetest thing ever. When you get sick as an adult you feel like you are going through hell. Funny how things change. And things will continue to change for me and the Brewers as we continue along this ride that is the 2012 Season. Next up? A really tough week against the Cardinals and the Braves, the 2 teams that are currently holding possession of the 2 NL Wildcard spots. This would be a really good opportunity to make up some ground. 

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

What's Brewing in the Crewbicle? - Week 21 - Pittsburgh Pirates / Chicago Cubs

I wonder what it would be like to be in love with a Pirate. For the sake of not coming off as being gay (not like there's anything wrong with that though. Gay just ain't the way for me.) let's make it a female Pirate. I know that the Pirate stereotype is a dude with dreadlocks, an eye patch, ruffled shirt, captain's hat, sword and hook and that girls in the pirate lore are usually whores or wenches. Now I've fallen in love with my fair share of whores and wenches in my day. Let's face it pal, who hasn't? It's in a guy's DNA to go for the dirty girls. We've all been there. But what if this girl was a swashbuckler herself? A strong and feisty girl who could take care of me both in a sword fight and in the bedroom. Now that's my ideal woman. I'm not one to fight or stand up for what I believe in because I'm kind of a pansy. I want my woman to be a real spark plug. That's why I think I could fall in love with a female pirate. If only that fantasy would come true and I could finally be happy for once. Unfortunately it's probably another of my dreams that will fail to reach reality. But if there are any sassy female Pirates out there who are looking for a Product Build Specialist and part time writer then you know how to reach me. So I can tap that arrrrrrrse.

So why do I bring this up? Other than to tell you that I'm a sick son of a bitch and lonely as hell, I love Pirates. Always have and always will. But how does this connect to baseball and the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season? Despite being an improved team, the Pittsburgh Pirates are still our bitches. They can do whatever they want and we can play at either park (Miller or PNC) and we will still come out on top the majority of the time. Remember when PNC Park used to be a place of nightmares for this team? Not anymore. Strangely this was our first trip to Pittsburgh in 2012 and the Brewers responded by taking 2 out of the 3 games. It was almost as beautiful as the city skyline behind the outfield fences. But underneath all that apparent beauty was a real stinker. Just like Pittsburgh. Sorry Steel City. I couldn't resist. You were nothing but kind to me in my 2 hours that I spent there in 2010 and I shouldn't have went there. But I did and now we need to work extra hard to patch up our relationship so that we don't break it off and start sleeping with other people. Sure it will be fun and exciting at first but then we will start to see the look of regret when we stare into the mirror. Then when we pass by each other on the street we will look into each other's eyes and wondered what might have been had we went to couple's therapy and worked it out instead of going our separate ways. But you cannot lament on the past. You can only try and improve in the future. So here's hoping that next time I'm "in" Pittsburgh I'll be there longer than 2 hours and learn to truly appreciate her and treat her right. Or maybe I'll be swept off my feet by some scurvy Pirate hottie. You never know.

Friday August 24 - Sunday August 26. Milwaukee Brewers vs Pittsburgh Pirates at PNC Park. Games 124 - 126 of 162. It's late August and the Brewers make their first trip to PNC Park. Both teams are in the NL Central, right? That's some weird scheduling. Even weirder is the fact that I wasn't there. Sure, I've been to Pittsburgh and seen PNC Park, but it was just a stop on the way to Washington D.C. I don't know why I didn't plan a roadtrip when the 2012 schedule came out. I must not have been thinking 4th dimensionally. Yeah, I got a real problem with that. I missed a great series too. But it was this close to being a bad one. In Game 1 Axford nearly blew the save by giving up 2 runs but he was pulled and Kameron Loe finished it up. Then the Brewers must have been hungover or some shit, realizing they won a game on the road because they came out with a lackluster affair on Saturday. Story of my life. I can't even create a spark when I'm cheating on my wife. You'd think there would be some some air of mystique or the danger of getting caught. Nope. But on Sunday the Brewers must have gotten a good night's sleep the night before because they came out with the usual display of homerun prowess. Go-Go and Rami made the difference and we won a series on the road for the 1st time since the All-Star Break. Oh what a lovely season it has been. And oh what a lovely tea party. Brewers 6, Pirates 5. Pirates 4, Brewers 0. Brewers 7, Pirates 0.

I could really love a Pirate, but I don't think I could ever love one of the Cubs. Not even if she had nice totties and a million dollar smile. She could be the most beautiful girl in the world with musical talents to match and still I don't think I could look past the red "C" on her chest. Of course I would keep looking at her chest long after I decided that we could never be together (I am a man after all) but there is no room in my heart to love a Cubs fan. Even though they have become the 2nd worst team in the National League and we have steamrolled them all season long, I still don't feel any apathy for the team, the city of Chicago or any of the stuck up Northsiders who think they are better than everyone else. You know what isn't better than anything else in this world? Wrigley Field. I already proclaimed my disdain for the Neighborhood Dump in Week 20's post but it deserves a rehash because that place really does suck balls. Throw out the nostalgia factor and Wrigley has nothing else going for it. So it survives on memories and old timey feelings alone. That's not enough to convince someone like me, who doesn't give a shit about the Chicago Cubs, to visit there more than once in my life. Sadly I've been there more than once and I can recall every game that I've spent in that horrid place. I won't go back there even if my girlfriend promises me sex afterwards. OK, so that's a complete and utter lie because I would do just about anything to get some from my frigid and uptight significant other. But seeing as how I don't have a girlfriend and don't see any girl getting with my insane ass in the near future I guess I don't have to worry about anything like that. So I'm gonna stay true to my blue-collar Milwaukee roots and stay away from all girls because any one of them could be a closeted Cubs fan in disguise. That's why I've been single all these years. Didn't want to risk falling in love with the enemy.

Monday August 27 - Thursday August 30. Milwaukee Brewers vs Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field. Games 127 - 130 of 162. I hate this team. By that statement you might be assuming I'm talking about the Cubs. Don't make an assumption. When you do that you make an ass out of u and mption. I hate the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers. In Game 1 they had a 6-4 lead going into the 9th then just obliterated Cubs pitching for 9 runs in the 9th complete with back-to-back-to-back HR's from Braun, Ramierez and Hart in a 15-4 beat down. Then in the next 2 games they got stellar pitching from Gallardo and Fiers and some timely offense. So why do I hate this team? Game 4. By winning 8 of the last 10 they had almost brought themselves back into playoff contention and were creeping in on .500. In the 6th inning they were comfortably up 9-3 but Livan Hernandez gave up 5 runs then KRod gave up 3 runs in the 9th to blow the save and erase any momentum they had been gaining. So why do I hate them? I guess it's my fault. I'm not one (like my cousin Brian) who thinks they are a playoff team, but for a few days I tricked myself into thinking they were at least a good team and had a shot at finishing at .500 to not make this a losing season. I don't know why I care. Even if they finish at .500 or above it is a losing season. After last year everything else is a letdown. Curse me for having such high expectations. If only I had the same expectations for myself. My life wouldn't suck. Brewers 15, Cubs 4. Brewers 4, Cubs 1. Brewers 3, Cubs 1. Cubs 12, Brewers 11.

The Brewers return home for a quickie (I should be so lucky) then head on on the road again against the newly named Miami Marlins in their gay ass ballpark. The season hasn't gone as planned up until this point but then again, does anything ever go as we planned? That just goes to show that your plan doesn't mean shit as far as the Universe is concerned. The Universe is just like the Honey Badger. Honey Badger don't care! Honey Badger don't give a shit! So get over it my friend. And since this is the part where I talk to you from the future I can tell you that things get a whole let better in the next few weeks. But you're just going to have to check back here at a later date to read my reaction to those games. Sorry pal. Thems the rules. If you don't like it then you can walk the plank ye scurvy dog!!

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

What's Brewing in the Crewbicle? - Week 20 - Philadelphia Phillies / Chicago Cubs

I'm sure that the Philadelphia Phillies fans are so upset right now that they might throw batteries, snowballs and boo Santa Claus. Wait, you mean that they've already done that? What's next? Are they going to sacrifice live animals and burn an effigy? The Phillies have won something like 5 straight NL East Division Titles and last won the World Series in 2008. I'm sure that their fans have some pretty high standards nowadays and demand nothing less than victory. See I really know nothing about that because I have been a lifelong Brewers fan and with a couple of exceptions (1982, 2008, 2011) we have been a pretty horrible franchise. I'm not complaining because I love my Brewers and I will do so for the rest of my life. I'll come down pretty hard on them like I have done this year but that's just me being honest and telling it like it is. You can have your own opinions but these are mine. I don't really know where I was going with this which is surprising right now because I'm stone cold sober. I thought that people were supposed to be able to function and remember things when they aren't drinking. Isn't that why so many Mothers are against it? Mine certainly is. I guess I just function better with a couple of drinks in me. I should go pour one right now. But I'm not going to so you're just going to have to deal with sober me fucking everything up like a bumbling idiot. So here we are - The Phillies and The Brewers. Two teams that had high expectations in 2012 after both their seasons were cut short by the eventual World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals. But it doesn't take a die-hard fan of either of these teams to tell you that so far 2012 hasn't gone  exactly as planned. But future me (writing this on September 15) knows that things are going to get better. But more on that later. Let's focus on this series from August 16-19 instead. Here is my immediate reaction following the 4-game series.

Thursday August 16 - Sunday August 19. Milwaukee Brewers vs Philadelphia Phillies at Miller Park. Games 117 - 120 of 162. This was a battle of bad teams with high expectations that experienced a lot of injuries this year. The Phillies and the Brewers are pretty similar this year. Never mind the difference in payroll or the fact that the Brewers haven't won a G D thing in their history. I'm just talking about 2012. Then it was no surprise that they have similar records (Philadelphia has a 56-65 record) and both sit at the bottom of their divisions. Oh, and they also split this series. I believe someone dubbed this 4-gamer as the battle of disappointing teams. I just dub it the series of who freakin' cares. Sure I watched the games on Thursday and Friday, but only because I was at the ballpark. I attempted to watch the game Saturday but instead opted to do something fun. Some Wayne's World 2 ribald humor with the one and only Jenny Reck. And then on Sunday I passed out watching the game. Some fan I am. But to tell you the truth I have more fun with these write-ups than I do watching the games, but I need to watch the games to do the write-ups. It's a tangled web I weave, kind of like Charlotte. I wonder what happened to her. Maybe she was the spider who was swallowed by the Old Lady to catch the fly. Perhaps she'll die. Everyone dies you know. Especially when you eat cats, goats, cows and horses. Brewers 7, Phillies 4. Brewers 6, Phillies 2. Phillies 4, Brewers 3. Phillies 8, Brewers 0.

The Chicago Cubs. Even in a year when they are among the worst teams in baseball I hate them so much and want nothing more than to beat them mercilessly, especially here at Miller Park. Those asshole fans used to call our home "Wrigley North" but Cubs fans haven't been coming up here in droves this year because they suck as much as their team does. Next week (unfortunately) the Brewers have to travel to the piece of shit place they play in that they try to pass off as a Major League Ballpark. If I have any say in where my body goes for the rest of my life I will go just about anywhere except for that joint. When I'm old and slumped over in a wheelchair drooling all over myself I hope my caretakers have adhered to my wishes and don't wheel my old broken down ass into Wrigley Field. I'm sure that dump will still be there in like 60 years because for some reason Cubs fans like watching a baseball game in a place that smells like urine and has weeds growing on the walls. But none of that applies to Miller Park, voted by Milwaukee Brewers fans this year in an ESPN poll as the Best Ballpark in America. I hope I die at Miller Park. Not anytime soon though because I'm an instrument of God and I still have a lot of work to do on this planet before I get called back home. But one player whose work is done is Randy Wolf, who was cut by the team on his birthday. Bye bye pal. Here's a birthday cake. I bet it's filled with rejection and a couple of million dollars. We're still paying him for not being on the team plus we get to buy out his 2013 option at like $1.75 million. I wish I got that kind of birthday present. I don't want to complain because my Mom gives me some pretty sweet stuff, but just one of these years I'd like to get several beige sacks of money with $$$ on them from the Milwaukee Brewers. They gave them to Bill Hall, Jeff Suppan and now Randy Wolf, so I'm sure they can spare a couple for little ol' me. You know where I work and you know where I live. I'll be expecting my sacks of cash any day now. Until then I'll still be venting about my frustration over this 2012 season that got a lot better with a 3-game sweep of the Chicago Cubs.

Monday August 20 - Wednesday August 22. Milwaukee Brewers vs Chicago Cubs at Miller Park. Games 121 - 123 of 162. I know that the Cubs are a bad team and sweeping then is not a monumental achievement. But look at Houston and Colorado - those were bad teams too and they took care of us like an English Butler. No that's a bad analogy. That would imply they were nice to us and tucked us in at night and read us stories. Ok here we go again - they took care of us like an underpaid City Sanitation Worker. Was that better? That would suck especially if you were Oscar the Grouch and they threw away your home while you were still in it. I can't imagine his can is all the great but it has to be better than the City Dump. But maybe Oscar would like the City Dump. Why am I talking about this? Oh yeah, because it's more interesting that this series. Even though I can only name 2 or 3 players on the current Cubs roster they still are professional baseball players and a win is a win. And let's not forget that a win over the Cubs is sweeter than a win over anyone else. Always good to send those Northsiders back home crying. Don't let the toll-gate hit you on the ass on your way down I-94 pal. But the only thing that will be remembered from this series didn't even happen on the field as the Brewers released Randy Wolf and his 3-10 record with a 5.69 ERA. On his 36th birthday no less. Well how about that. Happy Birthday pal. You're fired. Brewers 9, Cubs 5. Brewers 5, Cubs 2. Brewers 3, Cubs 2.

Coming up next is a nice little 7 game roadtrip starting in Pittsburgh and ending in Chicago at Wrigley Field which I so lovingly talked about just a little bit ago. I love Pittsburgh and I can't wait to go back there. But like I said I will never go back to Wrigley unless my life depended on it. I can't imagine a scenario where my life would depend on it but terrorists can be some pretty ruthless fucks. They might hold my family or even my entire adopted county of Mexico hostage and I would have to think about even going to Wrigley to save their lives. That's how much I hate that joint. It embodies everything I hate about Chicago and the Cubs. I get so angry sometimes that I just lose my mind and I start boiling over like a goddamn volcano. But none of that really matters if we take care of business out there which I'm sure is a pretty easy task these days considering the shape of their team. You know what happened but I'm sure you'll come back here soon to read my reaction. You love that shit.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
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