My Nana (grandmother), Marilyn Kurutz died on November 9th 2012. That's a rather blunt way to say it but I didn't want to bury the lead. A better way to say it would have been called back to God's Kingdom because she was a devote Christian and prayed every single day of her life. She was such an amazing person and I owe so much of my life to her because whether or not she knew it, she had a huge influence on my upbringing. I can't even begin to explain how my character, morals, values in life and general behaviors have been shaped by the lessons she explicitly and implicitly taught me throughout life. Nana was the glue that held this family together and ever since she had surgery to remove a brain tumor she was never the same. When she came out of surgery she was no longer the woman I grew up loving because she had changed. It was a real hard concept to deal with at the time but the one thing that it did give me was time to deal with her death. She had been slowly dying for the last 3 years. While it is really sad to see her go I know that she was a prisoner in her own body because she was unable to speak, smile or care for others like she had done for all of my life. Now that she is free of her mortal body that trapped her recently she is free to care for everyone both in Heaven and on Earth. She used to tell me that she prayed for me every day. While I'm sure that I did enough wrong to warrant those prayers I always felt a sense of calm because I had an "in" with Jesus when it was my time to answer to the Lord. But now that she is up there cooking up Nana Meals for Timmy and everyone else I know that she will welcome me with a big Nana hug when it is my time to move on to the next world. Listen by clicking below as I try to sort out my feelings surrounding the death of one of the most special people that I have had the honor of knowing.
Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive - Episode 4 - Nana Nana, Nana Nana, Hey Hey, Goodbye so that you can listen to it whenever you feel like it: http://pookonco.ipower.com/music/dtsaep4.mp3
There's not a whole lot I can say that I haven't already said in this episode. I don't like to complain much because I realize that I have it better than so many other people in this world. I have 2 parents who love me, a family filled with the most amazing people in the world, an older brother who I've always looked up to and wanted nothing more than to be just like, a sister that is my best friend and the most hilarious person ever and a little brother who had so much talent whose attitude and smile was infectious. On top of that I have 2 jobs, a place of my own, a working car, a wonderful although mischievous cat Korben Dallas and so more friends than I can keep track of. That having been said over the last year and a half I have had to deal with the death of my Brother, my Grandpa (my Dad's Father) and now my Nana (my Mom's Mother). It's been a really rough time because every funeral reminds me of the one that hurt the most (Timmy). But death is a part of life so remind yourself every day that the clock is ticking. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet so do yourself a favor and make the most out of it. Life isn't about things. It's about people. I choose to spend my time with the people that I care about the most. I miss the people who are no longer here like Timmy, Grandpa and Nana but I know that I made the most of the time that I spent with them while they were here. At least I can live without those regrets. But it's really hard to live without those people. But I'm doing it. With every single day I exist to create new memories and hopefully pass on the lessons that those people taught me. Maybe that's my reason to keep on living.
- pookon -
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