I call myself an instrument of God and that he works through me to do good on this Earth. But the hand of God is also vengeful and lays down punishment when it is just. Since God has allowed me to do some great things in life He must also knock me off of my high horse when I start to feel almighty and untouchable. Sometimes you have to be reminded to take the good with the bad and that life is what you make it. I know you didn't come here looking for a religion lesson but that's my way of explaining why I watched the movie Tooth Fairy. Since it is the Catholic season of Lent I must have given up watching good movies. That's the only way I can understand that I watched a piece of shit like this. I know that some movies aren't for everyone and I'm probably not in the demographic that this movie is aiming for. But I'm a fan of The Rock. I liked him when he was wrestling in the WWF/WWE and in a couple of the movies he has been in. I'm not what you would call a big fan but still it pains me to see him stoop to this level. I wish that I didn't watch this movie while I was sober, but that is the process of this article. Watch the movie sober, review it while drunk. Let's just say that my review of the movie (which you can listen to by clicking below) is by far more entertaining than watching this movie. I don't suggest anyone watch this movie, not kids, not adults, not mentally handicapped people, not woodland creatures, not inanimate objects and not even The Rock's friends and family. But if you're curious check out at least a portion of my review before you torture yourself by sitting through this piece of shit.
Right click and Save As to download a copy of Drunken Movie Reviews - Tooth Fairy: http://pookonco.ipower.com/music/dmr%20-%20tooth%20fairy.mp3
I'll be honest and say that there are a couple of laughs in the movie and that The Rock is pretty convincing as a hockey player. This British guy who plays Tracy, the guy who serves as The Rock's caseworker and guide to the world of tooth fairies, is actually pretty funny. That's no surprise seeing as how he directed and wrote the UK version of The Office along with Ricky Gervais and has collaborated with him on multiple projects since. But he didn't write this movie so it doesn't benefit from his style of humor. So the only redeeming factor of this flick is Ashley Judd, who despite being 42 years old is still looking very bangable. I can see why The Rock puts up with her emo son. I'd restrain myself from hitting that kid if I could hit his Mom later that night. If you know what I mean. But then again I'd probably hit just about anything because I have high desperation and low standards. Except guys. I won't do guys. And speaking of guys, is The Rock gay? Cause he's awfully gay in this movie and it also has so many gay undertones to it. Hello! He's a fairy! Get it? And then he whines like a bitch the whole time, acts like a pussy, makes friends and then gives out hugs in the end. I know there's supposed to be a lesson for kids and everything, but you don't have to treat kids like they are idiots. But that's exactly what I felt like after watching this movie. But it was pretty fun to review while I was drunk. So I guess this movie served its' purpose. So here's to ya Hollywood!
- pookon -
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