Even It Out Month 3 - Day 1 (Tuesday December 1)

I started this month at 350 pounds, so I decided to keep this gravy train going for yet another month. Mmmmmm... Oh, what I wouldn't do for a gravy train right about now. Could you imagine if one of those made an unscheduled stop in your town? You'd run out of the house with multiple helpings of turkey, mashed potatoes or a million other things that are improved by a slathering helping of gravy. Popsicles? Better with gravy. Cotton candy? Why would you choose between blue and pink when you can have one that is basted in delicious gravy?  What goes best with gravy? Well a side dish of gravy of course! Can you tell that I'm hungry? What turned you on to that? This kind of thing happens when you decide to continue this little experiment for a 3rd month. I'm so messed up that I can't even think straight. At this point, I'm still not convinced that this is a good idea. While it is certainly true that I have lost 20 pounds as a direct result of this experiment, this whole idea is starting to seem a wee bit ludicrous. This is on par with an eating disorder and people who starve themselves and go to extreme ends in order to achieve their goals. They need to stop and think about the consequences of their actions. But has it gone too far? Is it too late to turn back?

At this point I think that I understand why people make poor and unhealthy decisions. I've gone too far to turn back now. It may be wrong. It may be damaging. It may be so many things. But it's addictive. It gives me power. It makes me feel something. I never used to be hungry. I used to just eat because I didn't know what else to do with my time. Now I feel the hunger festering inside of me and I have to deny it. When I say no to those demons I feel like I can conquer just about anything that stands in my way. Wielding that kind of power is incredibly dangerous. No one man should be that. But judging by my current weight, I am not one man. In fact, I am two. That means I should be able to do this, right? Easier said than done.

Making a complete life change is probably the most difficult thing there is. I can't begin to explain how this challenge goes against everything that I have ever done and everything that I know. From the outset it was destined to fail. What kind of lunatic does something this insane? It's madness I tell ya. MADNESS! So don't be alarmed if this gravy train goes completely off the rails and floods the valley with turkey, beef or country gravy goodness flowing from the overfilled containers.  That kind of thing tends to happen from time to time, so I apologize if you are smothered in that delicious gravy. You are so lucky. Right now, I would switch places with you in a heartbeat. A stalled, palpitating heartbeat caused by an over-consumption of gravy. But dear God - it was worth it.

 - pookon - 

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