Drunken Live Tweet - E.T. The Extra Terrestrial - "E.T. Tweet Home"

I always liked E.T. The Extra Terrestrial growing up. But I didn't necessarily love it. I've seen it many times over the course of my life but now that I watched it drunk and with Twitter, I fucking love ET! This movie is the shit. I never realized that until I saw so much of the 80s in this flick and how much it made me feel like being a kid again. This movie is so simple - lost alien wants to go home - that it connects with you on a personal level. If I was lost I'd hang with some kids until my parents came back but knowing my luck my parents would abandon me and the cops would arrest me for endangering children's lives with my mere presence. Things are rough when you look and act like I do. I should probably do something about it but it looks like I'm too busy getting drunk and live tweeting movies. But you (the audience) like that sort of thing because someone has to be a drunken ridiculous idiot to balance out your responsible lifestyle that involves picking up your children from Day Care and paying the mortgage. But make sure you take a few minutes out of your day to live vicariously through me. Or at least me on the night of November 17, 2011.

Now it's time to watch #ET and relive my childhood, only now I have money and booze. Being an adult is so much better.

Now I know why the aliens took off so fast. They were growing mushrooms and drugs in the ship. Didn't want the cops to bust them. #ET

ET got left behind because he was off jacking it in the woods. Or at least that's what I saw. Must be watching the unrated version. #ET

Elliott got spooked and dropped a perfectly good pizza on the ground. Makes me sad. I hate to see food go to waste. #fat #ET

When I was in grade school we had to have our parents sign a permission form cause Elliott calls his brother penis breath. #ET

Aliens are here to kill us. I wouldn't have gone to the shed with a handful of Reese's Pieces, I'd have a handful of grenades. #ET

If I was ET I would have called "dibs" on top bunk once I got to Elliott's room. No one likes to sleep bottom. #ET

ET copies all the hand signals Elliott does. If I were him I would make ET give the middle finger and do the "removable thumb" trick. #ET

Reese's Pieces are like crack to aliens. Well keep on feeding them to him Elliott. Make 'em overdose. Kill those fuckers. #ET

@appletonave: "did you pull the thermometer on the lamp trick to stay home from school?" No. I could've shown her #ET. I'd still have to go.

ET got back. I wonder if Sir Mix-A-Lot found him the song would be like "scientists say your fat, well I ain't down with that." #ET

And ET is in the closet. Here come the jokes. He flew 10,000 light years to come out of the closet. Didn't want to upset his parents. #ET

ET can make dead plants come to life. Men with erectile disfunction are lining up outside the house. Boing! #ET

The kid with the giant earphones called Elliott a cintus suprimus. Elliott's comeback is zero charisma. I miss the 80's. #ET

And ET is back in the closet again. Hey man, if you're gay that's cool. I support you. Just be real man. Don't live a lie. #ET

My favorite part - ET drinks beer and Elliott gets drunk. I wish that would happen to me, but getting drunk on my own is ok. #ET

I thought so! The chick in class that Elliott drunkenly bats his eyes at is Erika Elaniak from Baywatch. Good choice son! #ET

I then spent the next 5 minutes Googling Erika Eleniak's nude photos from Playboy and Under Siege. Very nice. #HotTotties #ET

And Elliott gets to make out with Erika Eleniak. That lucky fuck. Of course that was before she grew up and got hot. #ET

Speaking of getting hot, how about Drew Barrymore? Say what you want, but she does it for me. As an adult. Not as a kid. Pervert. #ET

And now ET is back in the closet wearing a dress and a wig. You cross dressing fuck. Just come out of the closet already! #ET

ET phone home? How about calling for a pizza motherfucker? I'm starving man. And I know you could put down a few slices... #ET

The kids think ET is building a device to call home. Little do they know this alien fuck is a terrorist and he's building a bomb. #ET

Need a last minute costume? Cut some eye holes out of a bed sheet and go as a ghost. Genius. #ET

When ET and Elliott flew across the moon I knew that I would love movies forever. Such an iconic scene. It's so beautiful. #ET

Scientists have no right to be snooping around in someone's house without a warrant. Don't they know the law? #ET

I wish I had a subdivision where I could ride my bike. I wish I had a bike. I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. #ET

I'm surprised there aren't any raccoons or possums chewing on ET's lifeless body in the forest. He must taste like shit. #ET

Ok scientist - you are entering Elliott's house not walking on the moon. There is no need for the whole space suit get-up. #ET

1 hour and 23 minutes into the movie and Peter Coyote finally shows his face. Not bad for 2nd billing. Better late than never. #ET

Elliott has a right to be freaked out. If I was hooked up to machines next to a dying alien I'd tweak the fuck out too. #ET

Holy mother of God ET is flatlining! Where are those heart panels that George Clooney uses! Damn it man, I'm trying to save a life! #ET

Plants are dying. Elliott is crying. It's 1 in the mornin'. People are snoring. And the booze is still pourin'. R.I.P. #ET

A lot of government agents found their way to Elliott's house in a hurry. Good thing they remembered to wear their mustaches. #The80s #ET

I haven't heard a cry that fake since I learned I had to take an extra semester of college and delay my entrance into the "real world." #ET

I love when Michael hits his head when finding out ET is alive. That Storm Trooper in #StarWars must have heard the same thing. #ET

1900's newsies hat, aviators with giant headphones and a ski mask. Michael's friends are the coolest kids of #The80s. #ET

Watching these kids doing jumps on their bikes is like playing Excitebike on Nintendo. Ah the good old days. #The80s #ET

Glad I'm watching the special edition. Because nothing says "stop kids" like walkie talkies. #UsedToBeShotguns #ET

When I was a kid I used to whistle the theme song and hope that I could bike into the sky. I didn't have an alien, I just had bruises. #ET

ET"s family came back for him. They must have forgiven him for the whole "jerking off in the bushes" at the beginning of the movie. #ET

Be good. How about be scarred for life? An alien lived with you for a few days as a kid. That shit fucks you up. Hello therapy. #ET

When he said I'll be right here I'm glad he didn't point at Elliott's anus. Because that would have been a whole different ending. #ET

If I was a timpani player I could have played on every movie soundtrack of #The80s. I probably would've gotten a lot of pussy too. #ET

I wish I had a pal like ET when I was growing up. Would've changed my life. But now I have CGB and my life is pretty damn good. #ET

I should have called home before Live Tweeting E.T. Of course I was already home so that kind of defeats the point. That's why when it comes to go big or go home I always go big, because most times I'm already home. I don't the house much which results in my living my entire life on the internet via the Pookon Empire, Facebook and Twitter. I feel like this way I don't have to put on pants and you all can still follow along with my every movie with the option of tapping out if I start to annoy the shit out of you. I know that it happens but I also hope that I am amusing in some kind of way. Either way I'm going to keep on being myself because I don't know how to be anyone else. If you have a problem with that then I bid you adieu. If not keep checking back to this blog, the website and the Twitter for more of this outrageous content. Keepin' it random here on the Pookon Empire. That's how we like to do it around here. You just never know what's going to happen next. Deal with it. 

 - pookon - 

www.pookon.com

email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

What's Brewing in the Crewbicle? - Week 6 - Chicago Cubs / New York Mets / Houston Astros

The Battle for the Basement shouldn't be this ridiculous. Bombardier in the Basement should be because it was a game from my childhood in the 80's when you could throw things at kids without people getting concerned and contacting authorities. Damn I miss the good old days. The Milwaukee Brewers are a bad baseball team and that is evident in them being tied for last place against the Chicago Cubs. Last place. That hurts man. For a team that was in contention to repeat as NL Central Division Champions to a must win to stay out of last place seems like a stretch. But it's happening. And it's going to be that way all season pal so deal with it. I was at the game on Friday night at stuck it out all 13 innings because I never leave a game early unless I am forced to for whatever reason. I don't know if I have ever seen a better worse game in my life. There were so many lead changes, poorly executed plays, bad defense, rally and rally kills and periods of desperation for both teams. Even though we won the series I can't help but compare our team to the Cubs. I've been saying all season that they are a bad baseball team but now I've come to the realization that we are too. We're still a couple of steps above awful but we're heading downstairs, not up where we should be going. I don't how I feel about this because I'm not ready to stink as much as the Northsiders.

The Mets aren't that bad of a team despite what the season preview said about them. I guess one could say that they are a bit of a surprise in the early part of this season. In fact, the entire NL East is a big surprise as all of the teams are at or above .500 with the Braves in first and the Phillies in last. I wonder if anyone in Philadelphia feels like we do here in Milwaukee. They too have suffered some pretty big injuries and find themselves dwelling in the basement. But at least they are around .500 while we keep falling further away from it. These two games were interesting. In the first one Gallardo wasn't great as he walked 6 but only allowed 2 runs in 6 innings. He's really starting to test me this year because the pitch count is way up and I don't remember the last time that he pitched into the 7th or 8th inning. I would like to see him get a complete game sometime soon just to show everyone (because I still believe) that he is capable of being this team's ace when Greinke leaves in free agency after the season or gets traded mid-season if we fall out of it. People doubt Gallardo because they see Greinke's perform like he did on Tuesday - 7 innings pitched, 0 runs allowed, 5 hits, 7 strikeouts and no walks. If that's not ace-like I don't know what is. He set the tone for a victory and the offense backed him up by scoring 8 runs led by Travis Ishikawa's 3 for 4, 2 homerun, 5RBI night. It was good to see but as we would find out 2 days later it meant nothing because they couldn't string together a couple of wins.

Houston. This is your last season in the NL Central so give us a nice going away present by laying down and letting us walk all over you. What? You're not going to do that this year? But you did it last year and I really liked it. Last year we kicked some Astro but this year it was our Astro that was going to get kicked. Does anyone read this and be like"why?" Shake your heads all you want folks, I'm a genius. But I was just wondering if anyone reads what I have to say about the Milwaukee Brewers in 2012. Why am I even including this in here? You mean to say that the backspace key doesn't exist in the 13th Dimension? So I can't take any of that back. So much has happened since then that I'm just going to say that if Houston was supposed to be a bad team this year, and we just got beat by them, then what are we? Are we a bad team? Yes. Get used to hearing it. I can't even remember what I am talking about. You might as well just move on because I'm going to be stuck here for a while.

Friday May 11 - Sunday May 13. Milwaukee Brewers vs Chicago Cubs at Miller Park. Games 32 - 34 of 162. I'm at a loss for words here. Funny, right? It was a very long weekend for both myself and the Brewers. Let's start with Friday night. I tried to describe the game Friday and I think I've nailed it by now - epic chaos by two fundamentally bad teams. It was one of the best worst games that I've ever seen. There is no way there should have been that many pitching changes, pinch hitters, comebacks, defensive miscues, missed bunts, missed cut-offs, poor plate discipline and just awful baseball. If we lost that game it would have been a worthless way for me to spend 5 hours. But they won in 13 innings. Moving on. Saturday's game was a little more straight up thanks to the unlikely hero Edwin Maysonet, who delivered with a grand slam. For a team that is known for its' power the last two grand slams have come from a career minor leaguer (Maysonet) and a pitcher (Shaun Marcum in 2011). I don't get it. But hey, it was a win. Sunday was fine until the bullpen gave it away in the 7th, 8th and 9th innings and the Brewers still haven't swept a team this season. But we did see some offense so there's still time. But the inconsistency might just cost them some more games. Brewers 8, Cubs 7. Brewers 8, Cubs 2. Cubs 8, Brewers 2.

Monday May 14. Milwaukee Brewers vs New York Mets at Citi Field. Game 35 of 162. I hope Brewers fans are upset right now. And they should be. The pitching has been there for the last few weeks but the offense is gone once again. Gallardo wasn't the best (victimized by 6 walks and a high pitch count) but he went 6 innings and gave up only 2 runs. Not ace-like, but you should win that game. Except for when they only score... 1 run? That's all we got? 1 GD RUN? Get used to it. In a year where I said the offense was going to be just fine it isn't and I'll admit I was wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. So another quality start wasted, but the real travesty here is that I wasn't aware of the #WheresChorizo promo that started at 5am this morning. I knew about it, just not that it happened today and I am without a Chorizo lawn statue. Imagine that, me, the sombrero guy, without a mini Chorizo. Have I lost touch with my inner Mexican? Have I grown up? Or do I just not give a S about them anymore? I don't know. Mets 3, Brewers 1.

Tuesday May 15. Milwaukee Brewers vs New York Mets at Citi Field. Game 36 of 162. That was exactly (Ed Zachary?) the kind of game this team needed. A brilliant start (7 innings, 0 runs) and plenty of offense to back it up (8 runs on 11 hits). Just a well played game all around. Special mention has to go to Travis Ishikawa, who went 3 for 4 with 5 RBIs off of 2 HRs. I didn't even have him making this team out of Spring Training. But he has produced when starting (versus pinch hitting) and helps make the loss of Gamel hurt less. I'd still love Gamel, but I guess I can handle a platoon of Ishikawa, Taylor Green and even a little Corey Hart at 1st base. It's not ideal, but we have to make do with what we got. And although we really don't have the wins to show for it, I think the offense might be coming around. Are guys still hitting below their averages? Yes, but aside from Weeks (who may have hit the point of no return) the individual batting averages don't look that bad. There's still time but they need to pull themselves above .500 in the next week to convince me they still have a chance to win this division. Brewers 8, Mets 0.

Wednesday May 16. Milwaukee Brewers vs Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park. Game 37 of 162. I find this year so far to be a little puzzling. How is it that me, self proclaimed #1, just stops watching games? Me who has sat through years and years of bad baseball and stays until the end of the game even if we are down by 8 runs. I didn't even watch this game. Not 1 inning. I was too busy doing something else. The Brewers are no longer a top priority. Plain and simple. But it helps me to make that decision when I hear Randy Wolf is serving up 84mph fastballs on a sterling silver platter while wearing white gloves. What the hell happened to him? Where's the primal instinct? Where's the fire? Where's the beast mode? Where's the energy, the life, the fun? Sure times are tough, but at the root of it all you're playing a game and games are supposed to be fun. And what happened to the offense that scored 8 runs yesterday and the pitching staff that gave up 0 runs? I know I'm sounding like a broken record here, but inconsistency is going to kill this team. We're 7 days away until Judgement Day. Astros 8, Brewers 3.

Thursday May 17. Milwaukee Brewers vs Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park. Game 38 of 162. The clock is ticking. Sit back and listen. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. (I think I've proved my point). But that seems like what the Brewers are doing. Just sitting back and doing nothing. I'm sure that they are trying because they are professionals, but something is wrong here. Is it a lack of talent? I don't think so because on the backs of their baseball cards they are not this bad. Is it a lack of leadership? Could be. Roenicke hasn't had to deal with much adversity as a head coach. And who are the leaders in the clubhouse? Is it  injury/bad luck/bad years? How can everyone except for Braun, Lucroy, Greinke and Marcum be having a bad year? I don't have the answers. That's why I only make $13 an hour. Now Houston is a scrappy young team, but they are still a bad team. Which begs the question - are we a bad team too? How else do we get swept in a 2 game series and get outscored 12-3? It may be time to face the facts that this team just isn't that good. 6 days until Judgement Day. Astros 4, Brewers 0.

That was another long week in what has already started to feel like a long season. We went 3-4 in this weekly stretch which doesn't help the chances of getting back to .500 and respectability. Up next is a 6-game homestand with 3 against the Minnesota Twins and 3 against the San Francisco Giants. And more important than that I have labeled Wednesday, May 23 as Judgement Day when I have decided to make my call on this season. I need the Brewers to do something that sways me from calling their season "done". Now's the time to make a statement. Just make sure you don't do the wrong one because you can't take that shit back. Be loud. Be proud. And kick some ass.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Drunken Live Tweet - How to Tweet Your Dragon / The TweeTown

Over Thanksgiving weekend of 2011 AT&T U-Verse had a free preview of HBO, Cinemax, Starz and all of the other premium channels that aren't dirty. Well, some of them we got a preview of were dirty after dark, but that's not what you want to hear about. It was that Saturday night when I didn't  have anything else to do that I watched How to Train Your Dragon and The Town with my Mother. Yes, my life is sometimes that sad (no offense Mom). But thankfully I have booze and Twitter to help me get through my pathetic life. I decided to Live Tweet the dragon flick because I knew I could find issues in a kid's movie about puberty and sexuality, I mean taming dragons. And of course I was pretty ridiculous as always and unfiltered. So if you are a kid, have kids or are planning to have them someday, sat next to a kid on the bus once or have heard of a kid I beg you not to read this. 

Since nobody is reading this I can be a little saucy. Which condiment allows you to slide down the Godsplash faster - A1 Steak Sauce or Worcester Sauce? I like dijon mustard best because Dijon is the name of the thieving lackey in DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp. I'm a mixer. I take all the available sauces and whip them together for a different combination every time. It was like a Monster Mix, only with sauces. 

OK folks, I'm done being saucy. You can continue reading now. This flick was actually quite good and that's what I heard about it. The story was decent and the animation was pretty good too. Made me want to own a dragon. Until that fucker lit my ass up like a Christmas Tree so the NBA JAM announcer could yell out, "HE'S ON FIRE!!" Don't read too much into the title. You can't tame dragons. You ain't no Viking from the 4th to 13th Century AD. You cannot train one. And it's not because there aren't any dragons it's because in the movie they never really teach you how to do it. Unless I totally missed that part in the movie because I was too busy drunken live tweeting. Oh well, read on to see how I felt about this movie. 

These dragons love to eat lambs. Haven't seen someone tear up lamb like that since me in college at Oakland Gyros. #HowToTrainYourDragon

So this kid wants to be big and fat like the rest of the Vikings? Listen pal, I'll switch with you. #HowToTrainYourDragon

This kid captured a dragon, but the dragon's retarded. I'm no animal rights activist, but retards need to be let go. #HowToTrainYourDragon

If dragons were real I'd kill all of them. Just like aliens, those fuckers don't belong here. #HowToTrainYourDragon

Listen kid - you can't talk a dragon to death (even if it is working on me). Stab that fucker in the heart. #HowToTrainYourDragon

It's just raw fish. Millions of weirdos eat that shit. It's called sushi. It's not the worst u can put in your mouth. #HowToTrainYourDragon

This kid used ball bearings to fix the injured dragon's tail. C'mon guys! It's all ball bearings these days! #HowToTrainYourDragon

To train these kids, they just let the dragons attack. That's like dropping your kid off at 21st and Locust. #HowToTrainYourDragon

They need to stop making computer animation so lifelike. This blonde chick is kind of giving me a boner. #HowToTrainYourDragon

This skinny blonde chick is kind of doing it for me. Sadly the dragon is too. Damn I need to get a girlfriend. #HowToTrainYourDragon

This kid's name is Hiccup. I have a cure for that. Hold your breath and I'll scare you. Works every time. #HowToTrainYourDragon

Yes!! Those dragons totally stole a dolphin out of the sea for a feast! You eat those smug bastards! #HowToTrainYourDragon

Just because the dragon is black doesn't mean you have to call him Night Fury. #ALittleRacist #HowToTrainYourDragon

Jonah Hill's voice is distracting in an animated movie. It's like hearing the voice inside my head. #HowToTrainYourDragon

Night Fury? Does he have a brother Nick who is leader of the Avengers? You know, the guy who shouts a lot? #HowToTrainYourDragon

When the big dragon hit the ground, an explosion went off. Good thing Hiccup Luke Skywalker'd it inside the dragon. #HowToTrainYourDragon

I'm just waiting for Astrid to say "and I thought they smelt bad......................on the outside. " #HowToTrainYourDragon

So the Vikings ended up living in harmony with the dragons? I call bullshit. War doesn't get resolved that easy. #HowToTrainYourDragon

Movies need to stop lying to kids. Life is hard. There is no peace. War is hell. Get used to it pal. #HowToTrainYourDragon

The Town is another one of those movies that I heard was really good. It's also one of those movies that I own but I have never seen. I have lots of those. We decided to watch it that night and I thought it was pretty damn good. Ben Affleck was the bomb in this just like he was in Phantoms. Word bitch! Phantoms like a muh-fucker! I wasn't intending on Live Tweeting this movie because I didn't know anything about it. But I was still drunk so I decided to post a couple of observations. But you can't follow along with me and semi-understand the plot like you can in my other Live Tweet sessions because I didn't even know where I was going with any of this. This movie did make me want to have a recognizable accent like the Bostonians in this flick. I suppose I have a Midwest accent but it isn't too sexy. Hey wadda got dere missy? You lookin real fine dere dontcha know. Yep. You're turned on right now. I got real caught up in this flick and ended up having a good time with it. There's nothing wrong with bank heists, car chases and shoot outs. That kind of stuff will always be ok in my book. It's a good thing that I'm not a judge or member of any Law Enforcement Agency. Check out the couple of random things that I had to say about The Town.

Skeletor sure knows what he is doing robbing this bank. It's too bad he never knew how to defeat He-Man. #TheTown

These accents are so thick I can't here "Whatcha Say" playing in the background of this bar. #TheTown

I'm very impressed with the track suit Affleck is rocking. Is that what bank robbers wear? I want to be a bank robber. #TheTown

So you hold up a bank girl, tail her at the laundrymat then take her out on a date? I never did that. Is that why I'm single? #TheTown

The trouble with live tweeting a movie like this is that there is no one holding a gun to my head forcing me to do it. #TheTown

Affleck looks old as shit in this flick. What happened to the kid from that fucking movie with Mork from Ork in it? #TheTown

Blake Lively looks like fucking hell in this flick. But I'd still do her anyway. What? I got low standards. #TheTown

I've been working at Miller Park for 10 years and there has never been a shootout on the service level. No fair. #TheTown

The most exciting thing I saw at Miller Park was Bernie Mac. When he was alive. Not as a ghost. Now that would've been sweet. #TheTown

They say Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms. This is true. However, he is the bomb in this flick as well. #TheTown

Well that's all for now. If you like these Movie Drunken Live Tweets then make sure to come back here for more of my internet adventures. I have at least 6 more commentaries to share with you and they're all really good. Have a nice day, and remember if you get drunk and watch a movie, you might as well Tweet about it!


 - pookon - 


www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

What's Brewing in the Crewbicle? - Week 5 - San Francisco Giants / Cincinnati Reds

The San Francisco Giants are normally a pretty good team because of their pitching, but coming into this series they weren't exactly lighting the world on fire. They were a few games under .500 and their ace Tim Lincecum came into the game with a 5.74 ERA, a clear indication that the 2-time Cy Young winner was struggling big time. Now was the time to jump on the Giants and take them down Jack-style. They climbed the beanstalk and stole the hen that laid golden eggs but when they went back for the harp that played by itself they heard the familiar words, "Fie Fie Foe Fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!" It was then that the Brewers offense was discovered and squashed by the boot of the Giant's foot. I should have seen this one coming though because the Brewers always seem to do well against the premier pitchers. How many times have we seen them beat Lincecum, Johann Santana or knock around Roy Halladay and then struggle against a Bud Norris or some guy from AA making his major league debut? Too many times to count. 

After taking down Lincecum and then being dominated by Madison Bumgarner in game 2 we still did have a chance to win the series against Matt Cain of all people in game 3, but once again failed to win a series. They even tied it up in the 9th inning to take it to extras but lost in the 11th inning the moment Tim Dillard took the mound. Tim Dillard has lead a pretty incredible life so far. If you don't believe me, then check out his legend in my 2012 preview of the Brewers pitching staff. He has done some amazing things but pitching isn't one of them. The only reason that Tim Dillard continues to pitch is because of little Tommy Sampson, a cancer victim from Dillard's hometown of Sarasota, Florida. With his dying breath at the tragic age of 7, he told Dillard that his dream was to grow up and pitch in the Major Leagues, which was something that he sadly would never be able to realize. So even though Dillard is not the greatest pitcher he still goes out there every day and pitches for Tommy. He even wears the number 48 because Tommy died on the 8th of April. I'm a fan of Dillard the man but Dillard the pitcher needs to go away. His pitching is distracting him from continuing to grow his legend. The worst thing about this weekend was that it was Cinco de Mayo and my Birthday, so it put a little damper on the festivities. But I didn't let it ruin my good time because as a born-again Mexican I will celebrate despite adversity. And then I had a bunch of family and friends over for the game on Sunday which was my Birthday. So I still had a great time regardless. I hope the Brewers players are doing the same or else it's going to be a really long season for them.

Everyone is high on the Cincinnati Reds. I'm not. I'm high on something else. Settle down you NARC, I'm high on life. Among other things. Only pure things touch this heavenly body so hands off ladies. You don't get to touch me unless you have a clean soul. I have some incredibly high standards. That's probably why I've managed to stay single all these years. But I digress... The Cincinnati Reds were the sexy sleeper pick to win the division and I can see why. They have a pretty damn good offense and if their pitching remains consistent they have a chance to unseat St. Louis as the head of the table in the NL Central. It was no fluke when they won the division in 2010 but I expected them to get swept by Philadelphia that year because they were still a young team experience wise. Now it's a few years later so for their sake it is hopefully behind them. But I don't believe in the Reds because I don't believe in Dusty Baker to lead his team to victory. I was at the Monday night game and we didn't get in until the 2nd inning or so like usual. So we missed the only run the Brewers scored (a Ryan Braun solo homerun) and there was no energy the rest of the game. And that about sums up the season so far - lack of energy. Last year Tony Plush led the charge and Prince Fielder added the BeastMode. Where is the fire this year? I understand they've been losing since day 1 but you have to rally to come back from behind. This team is all nap and no rally. Tuesday's game showed promise but then they lost Wednesday's game. They don't even build on wins by carrying it over to the next day. I don't know what else to say here. But keep reading below to see what I said the day after the games in my cubicle.

Friday May 4 - Sunday May 6. Milwaukee Brewers vs San Francisco Giants at AT & T Park. Games 26-28 of 162. Game 1 started out on a good note with a 3-run 1st inning against Lincecum that snapped an 18-inning scoreless streak. The offense finally showed some life and some plate discipline and were able to take game 1. Fantastic. Then game 2 came crashing down literally when Alex Gonzalez slid into second and messed up his knee, leaving the game. We know now that like Gamel, it is a torn ACL and he is out for the season. An already lifeless offense lost 2 of their hottest players on this roadtrip and Carlos Gomez went on the DL and Ryan Braun has an achillies issue. This team is falling apart and they look lifeless. The offense is still a problem and everyone is hitting below their career averages. Now we have Travis Ishikawa and Caesar Izturis as everyday players? Dear God we need help. The Giants outplayed us but it wasn't hard. The Brewers are outplaying themselves. They came home limping after a 3-6 roadtrip and I just called out May 23rd as Judgement Day as to whether or not this is a lost season. Stay tuned. I don't like where this is going. Brewers 6, Giants 4. Giants 5, Brewers 2. Giants 4, Brewers 3.

Monday May 7. Milwaukee Brewers vs Cincinnati Reds at Miller Park. Game 29 of 162. The Brewers wake up today looking up at 5 other teams in the NL Central. That's right folks - your Milwaukee Brewers are in last place. The worst part is that it could only get worse if they don't turn it around soon. The clocki is ticking and it's getting harder to deal with this as the days go by. So we already know that St. Louis has us beat in all aspects of the game. And now we look outmatched vs Cincinnati too. The worst part is that it doesn't look any better. I'm as die hard as it gets and I hold out hope until they are mathimatically eliminated, but when Brauny is your only offense and you score just the 1 run you're in for a whole heap of trouble. They just look like a team that is lost and searching for an identity. The problem is by the time they find it (even if they find it) they might be in too big of a hole to dig themselves out. I'm not ready for losing again. I'm not ready for failure. I'm not ready for this. Reds 6, Brewers 1.

Tuesday May 8. Milwaukee Brewers vs Cincinnati Reds at Miller Park. Game 30 of 162. This game was one of those that could be a turning point if followed up properly with another win or at leasta stretch where they go 7 for 10. If not then it was just a good game. But oh what a game it was. Brauny continues to hit and he's back above .300. Lucroy had a clutch 2-RBI single and is leading the team with a .313 batting average. Ramirez, although still in the low .200s, continues to drive in runs and his bases clearing triple sealed the deal. Arf! Arf! Arf! Nyjer Morgan looked like Tony Plush again with one of the best catches to rob a homerun that you'll probably see all year. And Travis Ishikawa showed why he is getting starts at 1st base. It's not his bat (0 for 4) it's his defense. I still would like to see Taylor Green start every day though. But the night wouldn't be complete without a shoutout to my new favorite player, if only for the opportunity it guves me to yell HAIL CAESAR!! I love it. Nice homerun. Enjoy it, because you probably won't hit another one for a month. Nice game. Brewers 8, Reds 3.

Wednesday May 9. Milwaukee Brewers vs Cincinnati Reds at Miller Park. Game 31 of 162. Remember what I said about yesterday's game? Well that's all a moot point now because they failed to win this one. It's certainly not from a lack of trying. Zinke (Zack Greinke) was outstanding, going 8 innings of shutout ball and striking out 11 hitters. Ryan Braun hit another homerun. The Brewers had bases loaded in the 9th inning. But they lost. When it's bad, it's pretty damn bad I guess. After watching the offense continue to be erratic you have to wonder if they can ever get it going. And what grinds my gears is that Greinke's performance today was probably his best of the season and we wasted it. We saw it right out there in broad daylight and we wasted it. That's what frustrates me the most. You have to win this game. I don't know what else to say. When the season is over and (heaven forbid) you don't make the playoffs, I will point at games like this as proof. But they do it to themselves. But we are the ones who get screwed over. Reds 2, Brewers 1.

5 games below .500. Gee, this is a lot of fun. Now is the time to turn it around with a very favorable schedule coming up with games against the Cubs, Mets and Astros. Each of those series are very winnable despite the Mets and Astros series being only 2 games a piece. You just hope to win the series against the Cubs and split the other two for a nice little 4-3 week. The time is now to make baby steps and gradually improve the record by winning more than they lose and you have to do it like going 1 over .500 because they haven't shown the ability to win 4 in a row or 5 out of 7 games. Baby steps. That's what we need. It's cliche as all hell but they have to take it one at a time and just win games. Screw tomorrow. Win today and figure it out later. Or else.


 - pookon -


www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Drunken Live Tweet - Ghostbusters - "Who Ya Gonna Tweet?"

Ghostbusters is my favorite movie of all time. I don't like to pick between all of the movies that I own, which is seriously in the thousands if you count burned DVDs. Nor do I want to pick between all of the movies that I have seen in my life because that number could be astronomical. But my top five favorite movies are (in no particular order) Ghostbusters, Baseketball, Beavis and Butthead Do America, Back to the Future and Almost Famous. But I can honestly say that Ghostbusters is #1 because I've loved it since I was a little kid and I still love it to this day. I've easily watched it hundreds of times and every single time it is just as entertaining, scary and hilarious as it was when I first watched it. Having grown up with the movie it made more sense as I got older as I realized that this really isn't a kids movie. There are so many jokes that went over my head and I still cover my eyes whenever the Terror Dogs are on the screen. The comic trio of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis is unmatched in most movies and the supporting cast of Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis are all given their chances to shine. To me it accomplishes a feat that only a handful of movies can achieve and that's a perfect blend of comedy, action, sci-fi, drama and horror and successfully blending them together. You may not be a fan of this flick but I challenge you to find another movie that is ale to do that. I'd say more about the movie but as you will see in a moment I already said a good amount of stuff about it the other night while I was drinking.

I love to watch movies. I love to drink alcohol. I love to Tweet. When you combine all of those things the result is a drunken movie commentary in 140 character bursts strung together by #Ghostbusters. I normally don't like to mix Twitter and this blog (much like I don't mix business with pleasure) even though I have a widget on the right that showcases my Tweets. That's because I'm pretty ridiculous on there and often talk without a filter. I don't give a shit who I offend because it's my story, my thoughts, my ideas and my sense of humor. If you don't like then don't follow me. So I'm going to make that ring true on here as well. If you are easily offended then don't read anything I tweeted while I was watching Ghostbusters. But if you do want to know what I think about the movie while I'm wasted then read on. Like I said, I've watched this movie hundreds of times but I don't think I ever watched it like this. 

I'm violating my no-nightmare policy by watching #Ghostbusters at 1am. But I'm counteracting it with booze and a #LiveTweet session.

I bet you I first watched #Ghostbusters on video when I was 6. It has been my favorite movie ever since. Scares the shit outta me though.

In a bit of library revenge, the Dewey Decimal System gets back at the Librarian for not teaching it to the public. #Ghostbusters

I like that we get Dr. Venkman first because it establishes the comedy in this flick. Keeps you on your toes. #Ghostbusters

Ray and Egon are all about science. Peter is all about the pussy. That's what kind of scientist I'd like to be. #Ghostbusters

Ray Stantz is my hero. He has so much heart and childlike wonder. I hope I grow up to be just like him. #Ghostbusters

The first thing Venkman does is fuck with Egon. What an asshole. But he's their asshole. Everyone has one. #Ghostbusters

When I was a kid I didn't understand menstruating. Hell I don't get it now. So many jokes in this flick were over my head. #Ghostbusters

Symmetrical book stacking. No human being could stack books like this. True. As a kid I tried. Couldn't get that high. #Ghostbusters

Listen! Do you smell something? Ray has his senses mixed up cause he's so excited. He's such a little kid. #Ghostbusters

I used to collect things in those bubble containers from the .25 cent vending machines, but never ectoplasmic residue. #Ghostbusters

When Ray yells "get her!" + she goes "ahhhh!" and they run, I used to run out of the room + around the dining room table. #Ghostbusters

Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. If that was my plan I'd already be married by now. #Ghostbusters

Dean Yager looks like Mr. Rogers. It's not a beautiful day in their neighborhood when they get kicked out of university. #Ghostbusters

When they lose their jobs they drink cheap booze. See? Those guys are just like us. #Ghostbusters

They drink Hiram Walker booze. He started Candian Club in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. I've been there. Nice place. #Ghostbusters

At Canadian Club distillery, @AaronSpiering convinced me Hiram Walker was George Walker, one of Milwaukee's founding fathers. #Ghostbusters

The firehouse is inadequate for their needs but at least the pole still works. That convinced Ray. Awesome. #Ghostbusters

Say what you want about Sigourney but with Dana Barrett and Ellen Ripley, she ruled the 80's. #Ghostbusters

When I was a kid I called the #Ghostbusters at 555-2368, not realizing that 555 numbers are made up for movies. 

I wish that my eggs would cook themselves on my counter. Would save me the trouble. But I don't want monsters in my fridge. #Ghostbusters

As a kid I used to play the top 2 keys on the piano to ward off ghosts. They hate that. I liked to torture them. #Ghostbusters

That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there. What a crime! Boy, do I know that feeling. #Ghostbusters

I'm not getting any readings. Are you sure you're using that thing correctly? That's what she said!!! #Ghostbusters

I loved the Ectomobile. When I got my license I promised that I would have one. Dreams don't come true pal. #Ghostbusters

As a kid I didn't know what a cosmonaut was but I assumed it was someone trained to fight a giant cockroach. #Ghostbusters

The #Ghostbusters had it right. You're supposed to shoot at the help, not mingle with them. 

Slimer is a ghost I can relate too. All that bastard wants to do is eat. He's not bothering anyone. #Ghostbusters

When I worked at the Pfister I finally realized a lifelong dream by doing the "and the flowers are still standing" bit. #Ghostbusters

Is Egon a Jew? I don't know if I was ever clear on that. Is he allowed to bust ghosts on the Sabbath? #Ghostbusters

Everybody appreciates a good montage set to a catchy song. Especially one that sounds like a Huey Lewis classic. #Ghostbusters

I never got why the female ghost is trying to blow Ray. She just wants to get with someone famous. What a slut. #Ghostbusters

Enter the token black guy. I love Winston because he's just a guy trying to do a job. He doesn't give a shit. #Ghostbusters

I didn't know Michael Bay played with Dana Barrett in the orchestra. Must be before he started blowing shit up. #Ghostbusters

When I was in New York City I went to the firehouse they used for #Ghostbusters HQ. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. 

I wish that I had a Twinkie 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 pounds. I would destroy that shit. #Ghostbusters

I would never move into a building with stone monsters on the roof in fear of them coming alive and attacking me. #Ghostbusters

I don't get why Dana doesn't fight back against the Terror Dogs. She took down an Alien Queen but can't handle a pooch? #Ghostbusters

I modeled my Canadian accent after Louis Tully in this flick. Someday I'm gonna move up there and try it out. #Ghostbusters

Ok, who brought the dog? is a line I say when I'm nervous and something happens that I can't explain. #Ghostbusters

I'm 31 years old and still I have to look away because I'm terrified of the monster dogs in this flick. #Ghostbusters

Are you the key master? Hell yeah I am. And I got the key to unlock that pussy. Wait... what? #Ghostbusters

I want you inside me. Sounds like you got at least 2 people in there already. Might be a bit crowded. What a slut. #Ghostbusters

There is no @Pookondotcom, only Zuul. This whole time you have been following a Mesopotamian and Sumerian demigod. #Ghostbusters

f I hooked up my brain and the scan showed a terror dog, I might just have to end my life. That's no way to live. #Ghostbusters

If ghosts ever came back and the dead rose from the grave like the #Rapture said, I might just strap on a Proton Pack. #Ghostbusters

Walter Peck is a dick. Why does that tree hugging hippie give a fuck about the environment? We're trying to save the world. #Ghostbusters

Tree huggers can go to hell. By shutting off the protection grid he caused more problems than stopping them. #Ghostbusters

A ghost cab driver can't be any worse than that foreign bastard who drove me to Central Park when I was in NYC. #Ghostbusters

You know how I know Slimer is gay? He couldn't wait to get a hotdog in his mouth. Keep that in containment. #Ghostbusters

These guys are too smart for jail. The thugs in here would kick their asses for being different. #Ghostbusters

Did you ever notice that Carl Winslow was the jail guard? That guy made a career playing a cop. #Ghostbusters #DieHard #FamilyMatters

The Gatekeeper is waiting for the Keymaster. And she is also waiting for sex. I have never wanted to be a Keymaster so bad. #Ghostbusters

The walls of the 53rd precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that? Is that the menstruation thing? #Ghostbusters

Cats and Dogs living together is mass hysteria? Coach Bombay and Kevin Spacey get along fine. I don't see it. #Ghostbusters

Venkman said he's gonna get Peck a fruit basket. That's like giving him a tea bag. #Ghostbusters

Earthquakes can't stop the #Ghostbusters. Shit. Nothing can stop them. Those bastards are resilient as a motherfucker. 

I don't take the stairs up one floor at work. If I had to climb 22 with that gear I'd quit. I could never be one of the #Ghostbusters. 

Where do these stairs go? They go up. Ask a stupid question and you get a stupid answer retard. #Ghostbusters

I don't think I could handle turning into a dog. Dogs have to poop outside. It's cold outside in the winter. Fuck that. #Ghostbusters

Gozer looks too much like David Bowie. Aside from his package in #Labyrinth I can't stand to look at him. #Ghostbusters #aLittleGay

Ray says "Aim for the flat top!" A few years ago the hair stylist messed up and gave me a flat top. I looked like Drew Carey. #Ghostbusters

Choose the form of the destructor. Does she mean Charleston Chews? Does anybody eat that shit? #Ghostbusters

It just popped in there... That's what she said!! Ha ha! It never gets old. #Ghostbusters

I like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man because he (like Donald Duck) share my philosophy - pants optional. #Ghostbusters

I'm just glad they didn't make him anatomically correct. Because no one wants to see a marshmallow dong swinging around. #Ghostbusters

Nobody steps on a church in my town! Don't worry, if it's a Christian church it will rise from the dead like Jesus. #Ghostbusters

James and I used to cross the streams when we peed together as kids. We called it sword fighting. It didn't end the world. #Ghostbusters

Winston says the job isn't worth $11,500 a year. Even in 1984 money that sounds like slave wages. #Ghostbusters #ALittleRacist

If I knew that crossing the streams with another dude would defeat evil then I would have been doing that shit years ago. #Ghostbusters

Walter Peck always gets his ass handed to him, whether it be marshmallow juice or Holly McClane's fist. #Ghostbusters #DieHard

I'm not a fan of getting messy and shit like that. So I know I'd be pissed if I was covered in Marshmallow Man splooge. #Ghostbusters

For being a dog she sure turned out alright. And so did that little guy. Nothing wrong with that. #Ghostbusters #aLittleGay

You love this town Winston? This town doesn't love you. You're just the token black guy who plays 4th fiddle. #Ghostbusters #ALittleRacist

I love a happy ending. That's why I go to Chinese Massage Parlors. It's better if things are all finalized. #Ghostbusters #gross

I used to run out of the room when Slimer rushes the screen at the end. Don't judge me. I didn't want to get slimed. #Ghostbusters

I've seen this movie so many times I've lost count. But obviously I can keep watching it over and over and over... #Ghostbusters

I used to tell my friends I would grow up to be a dinosaur. That didn't pan out, but there's still time to be one of the #Ghostbusters

Every time I watch this I'm reminded of why it's my favorite movie. So amazing in so many ways. Both then and now. #Ghostbusters

See that wasn't that such a chore now, was it? That's one in the box, ready to go. We be fast and they be slow! Actually I've done a few drunken live Tweet movie commentaries now. I can't remember all of them, but I know for sure that I did The Goonies, E.T. The Extraterrestrial, Zookeeper, Face Off, Jurassic Park III and Dinosaur among others. I'm pretty sure that I have done more but I can't find them. Someday I will put them on here like I did for this movie but I really just wanted to get this one up because this is how I spent the first few hours of my 31st Birthday. I didn't even start watching the movie until 1am. I got drunk in a hurry because I was doing shots of Goldschlager and watching Ghostbusters seemed like the right thing to do. And boy was it ever. Sometimes I wonder why I am still single and why I don't have any friends, but then I look back through my Twitter feed and totally understand. Who would be able to put up with me? I'd change, but where's the fun in that? Besides, can you imagine what I would be like it I was restrained and had to clean up my act? That's nonsense. I don't want any part of that.


And now I'm going to leave you with a little 80's awesome/awful - Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" music video. You think that I was offensive and random? Get a load of this!

 - pookon - 


www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman