This episode is about something that I really don't like doing, which is sleeping and dreaming. I know right now you are probably thinking that I'm crazy for saying that but if that is what got you to the point of calling me crazy then I'm afraid that I've strung you along for far too long. Most people love sleep, actually look forward to it every night and loathe getting out of bed in the morning. If you haven't noticed by now then let me shock you by saying that I'm different than most people. I hate going to bed so much to the fact that I put it off as long as humanly possible. The body does need sleep and it does need to rest and recharge. So there is a certain point in the night when it starts to shut down. For most people that is usually around 11 or midnight. My body starts to shut down around 1 or 2am but I push through that and stay up until 3 or 4am. And then I wake up around 7:30 or 8am to get ready for work for the day. I usually average around 5 hours of sleep tonight and I am lucky when I get 6 hours. It's not that I can't physically sleep. I don't have a sleeping disorder like insomnia or sleep apnea. Nope. I just choose not to. While that may seem like a very foreign idea to most people, I have my reasons. You might not agree with them but they work for me. And this is why I choose to limit my amount of sleep.
I wish this was the girl of my dreams. She's quite the hottie. But the truth is that there is no girl of my dreams because I don't really dream. I don't allow myself to. I do my best to avoid sleeping because for some reason my peak level of creativity occurs between 10pm and 2am. Because I have so much work to do on this site and the other ones in the Pookon Empire so I need to take advantage of that free time. Work (8 hours a day plus commuting time) and other commitments keep me from doing what I am truly passionate about so I have to cram it all into a short time span in the late hours of the night. Something has to give and that is my sleeping time. I've been able to survive on little to no sleep for a couple of years now. And I don't see myself stopping any time soon. Not as long as I still have something to say. And then there are my dreams. Or the lack thereof. I don't dream much any more, and when I do they are usually sad ones. I wish I could have the dreams that I did as a child or even the ones that I had in college when my whole life was in front of me. Somewhere along the way I got broken and my dreams were cast aside for more realistic options. But I've said enough in text form today. Please take the time to listen to the podcast below. Help me in this journey to find a reason to stick around for a while and figure out a reason to dream again. I need a friend or a support system to find my purpose in life and if you are listening to this then you could be that person. Make my dreams come true. Validate all of the time I spend on these efforts. And make sure you dream big. Why not. We only have one life. Live it up.
Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive - Episode 6 - The Dream Miser, so that you can listen to it whenever you feel like it: http://pookonco.ipower.com/music/dtsa-ep6new.mp3
So that's my take on sleep and dreams. I hope that helps to explain my process of thinking and also why I spend so much time working on shit like this. It helps to keep me balanced in a world where everything is so upside down. I'm not so big on dreams because when you wake up it's like you were existing inside of a lie for however long the adventure lasted and with a few exceptions, life is never as good as it seems while you are dreaming. If it were up to me I'd never dream again because I have a very low success rate with the stories playing in my head. Most of them are depressing as shit so I'd like to avoid them at all costs. So far it's been working out alright but every night when I close my eyes I face the possibility of waking up in tears or with a sense of failure. And that's what keeps me up until 3 or 4am every night. I'm afraid to dream because of the ideas that exist in my mind. And no matter what, my life will never be as great as the one that my mind conjures up. It's something that I will just have to live with. At least while I am awake.
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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