Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed." If she was alive now instead of from 1884-1962, she might have said the same thing about Carlos Gomez. He only knows one speed - fast. There's a reason they call him Go-Go Gomez. Sometimes he goes so hard and so fast that he can't stop. While that can get a little frustrating sometimes when he tries to stretch a double into a triple and gets thrown out at 3rd, I'd rather have a fast guy who can slow down than a slow guy who could never speed up. You can't teach speed. You have it or you don't. But you can teach discipline (remember that word - discipline. Do you want to grow up to be a slacker?) You can teach self-control. You can teach smart base running. I don't Gomez to slow down. He runs hard, crashing into to walls and sacrificing his body to make the catch. He's hurt his knee and broken his collarbone because of this style of play. I'm don't want Gomez to alter his swing. Sometimes he swings to hard he spins around like the Tasmanian Devil. He doesn't take a lot of walks. But his aggressive style of play allowed him to hit for a career high average of .284 and hit 24 homeruns, also a career high. With numbers like that, why would you ask him to change?
You want him to stay the same person he is today. That's who I fell in love with. And of course, since I'm talking about love, I have to mention Sage again. This is getting weird. But it's Brewers related, so I'll allow it. Yeah, all over her face. I hope children and those with morals, high standards or integrity don't read this nonsense I churn out. And I wonder why no one ever takes me seriously. But how serious do you take the 2013 version of Carlos Gomez who won a Gold Glove and represented the Milwaukee Brewers at the All-Star Game? Hopefully as serious as I am when I say that my life would be a lot better off with more Sage in it. A whole lot better. Watch him play. Listen to him talk. See that giant grin that he runs around with. A lot of athletes look like they're just doing a job and collecting a paycheck. Not Gomez. He looks like a little kid in a grown man's body out there just having fun. Kind of like Tom Hanks in Big. I love me some old school Tom Hanks, but if they ever do a Latin remake of that movie I want Carlos Gomez to be the star.
If you don't believe me just do a simple search online or watch a fucking game or two. It's pretty evident that he plays with a lot of heart, energy and effort. Carlos Gomez will never be accused of taking a play off or half-assing it. I'd like to see Sage take it off and half-ass it. Just a tease is all I need right now. The rest I can fill in with my vivid and creative imagination, although the real thing would be greatly appreciated. I mean it when I say greatly. Want your own personal, well slave isn't the way to put it because I don't think it's PC in 2014 to use that S-word, man to attend to your every need? I would be at full attention (if you know what I mean) to please you in every way. I will go 110% and be like a kid playing an adult's game. I'd be your Carlos Gomez Sage. Except for that uncontrollable speed thing. No one wants to make the first out at 3rd base if you know what I mean. It's time to move on to something more relevant. Every now and then I just like to type such random nonsense because I know that in today's day and age, no one takes the time to read anymore. So if you did you found out that I'm a sick bastard with many problems. Congratulations pal. Enjoy your prize.
You want him to stay the same person he is today. That's who I fell in love with. And of course, since I'm talking about love, I have to mention Sage again. This is getting weird. But it's Brewers related, so I'll allow it. Yeah, all over her face. I hope children and those with morals, high standards or integrity don't read this nonsense I churn out. And I wonder why no one ever takes me seriously. But how serious do you take the 2013 version of Carlos Gomez who won a Gold Glove and represented the Milwaukee Brewers at the All-Star Game? Hopefully as serious as I am when I say that my life would be a lot better off with more Sage in it. A whole lot better. Watch him play. Listen to him talk. See that giant grin that he runs around with. A lot of athletes look like they're just doing a job and collecting a paycheck. Not Gomez. He looks like a little kid in a grown man's body out there just having fun. Kind of like Tom Hanks in Big. I love me some old school Tom Hanks, but if they ever do a Latin remake of that movie I want Carlos Gomez to be the star. If you don't believe me just do a simple search online or watch a fucking game or two. It's pretty evident that he plays with a lot of heart, energy and effort. Carlos Gomez will never be accused of taking a play off or half-assing it. I'd like to see Sage take it off and half-ass it. Just a tease is all I need right now. The rest I can fill in with my vivid and creative imagination, although the real thing would be greatly appreciated. I mean it when I say greatly. Want your own personal, well slave isn't the way to put it because I don't think it's PC in 2014 to use that S-word, man to attend to your every need? I would be at full attention (if you know what I mean) to please you in every way. I will go 110% and be like a kid playing an adult's game. I'd be your Carlos Gomez Sage. Except for that uncontrollable speed thing. No one wants to make the first out at 3rd base if you know what I mean. It's time to move on to something more relevant. Every now and then I just like to type such random nonsense because I know that in today's day and age, no one takes the time to read anymore. So if you did you found out that I'm a sick bastard with many problems. Congratulations pal. Enjoy your prize.
Now that we're on the topic of sin, women, adult adventures, games and the fast life, I implore you to check out my 8th video. It covers Centerfield for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers, recorded outside of The Planet Hollywood Casino overlooking the Bellagio on The Strip in Las Vegas, NV:
I got into Las Vegas on a Sunday evening and proceeded to start drinking heavily. I went gambling in Downtown and lost everything except The Man with One Red Shoe (another old school Tom Hanks reference). I was up until at least 4am and Druken Iceman took over. The next day I was in bed or in my hotel room until 6pm and finally worked up enough effort to venture out to the Strip. I was in Las Vegas after all. I had to run around and get into trouble. I picked a perfect spot to record this video, although things weren't so perfect behind me. Classic Las Vegas. Hell of a town...
Carlos Gomez #27 - .264 AVG, 23 HRs, 72 RBIs, 35 stolen bases, another Gold Glove and truly deserving of the love from every man, woman, child and beast that just always wanted to go fast.
Carlos Gomez is going to see the Lion's share of time in Centerfield for the 2014 Milwaukee Brewers. Why do they call it the lion's share? Is that because he's the King of the Jungle, leader of the pack, the mane man? I've watched enough Medieval movies to know that the King gets to sit high and mighty in his tower eating a giant turkey leg while his soldiers go out and die on the front lines. How do I get that job? And why am I talk about Kings instead of lions? Why didn't I say, "Well, I've seen enough lion movies to know that lions protect their territory, sleep all day, mate with the female lions and eat." Wait... how do I become a lion? That sounds like a way better job! I love napping, I love eating and I love doing it with hot female lions. What? Hey!! Look over there! What's that!?! (Turns and runs away while you're busy looking at that.) Logan Schafer may also see some time in Centerfield but this really is the Carlos Gomez show. He's the King of this Pride (are we back on lions?) and will not surrender his job if he has his way. Now I have nothing against Schafer, but I'm hoping that Carlos Gomez is roaming the savanna of outfield grass at Miller Park for many many years.
So get excited about Carlos Gomez. Feel it in your pants when he dives for a sinking line drive or when he pulls back a homerun. Feel that erotic tingle down your spine when he swings so hard that the ball is never coming back home even if he threatened to ground it for 3 weeks with no television or internet. Shudder as the tingling sensation overwhelms you went he flies around the bases when he hits one in the gap. And scream in pleasure when he steals 2 bases in one inning and there's not a damn thing the opposing team can do about it. Carlos Gomez just wants to make you happy and make you feel good. Everywhere. And you're going to like it even if you try and resist. You can try and play hard to get all you want, but eventually you too will succumb to the mystical powers that he has over you. Don't fight it. Just sit back and take it all in. Are we still talking about baseball here? I don't know anymore. What do you think?
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
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