Sunday, October 05, 2014

It's in My Head - #5: The Joy of Laughter

There are a lot of things they were in my head today. Things that cannot be repeated, that should not be repeated and will not be repeated. Too bad that I have a recording of them. That means you probably will hear them someday (via The Daily Burner) because that nonsense always finds a way to get out in the open. That's kind of how I roll. If I really wanted to, I could get into specifics. I could give you the play by play dialogue of all the ideas, thoughts and things that were and were not spoken. But I'm not going to. Because none of that really matters when looking at the big picture. I don't need to show all of the individual pieces because what happened in my head could be summed up in a feeling - the joy of laughter.

I'm intentionally being cryptic because there's no sense in wasting time explaining why my night was filled with laughter. This isn't a well thought out story that has a clear cut beginning, middle and end. This is a hastily thrown together post that was conceived at the last minute because only now has my face stopped hurting from smiling too much. Ever have a good laugh? I mean a really good laugh where it hurts so much you want it to stop but at the same time you never want it to end? Try stifling that for 45 minutes when your friend is utterly ridiculous and unbelievably genius at the same time (because it is unprofessional to break character when recording). It's so stupid that it is brilliant and too brilliant to be stupid. I don't understand how someone can come up with something wholly original but familiar at the same time that makes me lose my mind.

But it was the those things in my head that made me laugh so hard. I know I have great ideas. But these ones wouldn't have been so great if I had kept them to myself. When I shared them, they became our ideas and the other side of the story was told in a way that I could have never imagined. I had one vision, one plan and one method for madness. It's amazing what another person can do when you let them get inside your head and they let you get inside theirs. That's the only way this kind of laughter was possible. If it wasn't for my frequent collaborator, I would have just been sitting around laughing by myself. But instead we were making each other laugh. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The World is a terrible place. I do my best to ignore it, but no matter where I turn there is anger and sadness. It can really drag you down into very dark places if you let it overcome you. But that is when the pure joy of laughter is needed the most to lighten the mood and bring you back up again. I get that there is a time to be serious and that there is a time to cry. But you can't let that be all the time. I often find myself making that mistake. So I add humor and a little bit of nonsense to daily life, when I'm with other people and when I'm alone. But those are just normal laughs. If you find someone who can make you laugh just as hard as you make them laugh, make sure you tell them how much you appreciate it. Make sure that person is a big part of your life. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to laugh in a way that few people understand. So Cousin Kevin, thanks for being the bane (pun intended) of my sadness. I told you what was in my head, and I thank you for sharing what was in your head. A million laughs pal. 

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Saturday, October 04, 2014

It's in My Head - #4: Bringing Suspenders Back

I've had to start wearing belts lately and I don't like it. My pants just don't fit right. Talk about your first world problems. I know that I shouldn't even be wearing pants to begin with. Pants should be optional, and by optional I mean not necessary. But we live in a World that's not ready to deal with the pantsless man. But that's another story for another day. My pants don't fit right because I've lost a bit of weight. Not enough that you won't recognize me and be like, "Oh! Who's that sexy skinny man?" But it's enough that my pants don't sit comfortably around my waist like they used to and they are in danger of falling to the ground. So I have to deal with it. And that's where the belt comes in. But what if I don't want to wear a belt? What if there was another choice? Oh but there is. I could bring suspenders back.

But let's not kid ourselves. Suspenders never really went anywhere. You're probably thinking the opposite right now. Who was the last popular guy to rock the suspenders? For that we have to go back to the 90's. Remember that kid that used to hang out with the big guy Carl Winslow who loved cheese and used to say "Did I do that?" Of course you do. That kid was none other then pop icon Steven Q. Urkel. Some might call him a nerd, or a dork, or a loser. Whoever said that couldn't be more wrong. That kid had such a big heart and all he ever wanted was to be loved. By Laura, by Carl, by Eddie and by the millions of people that watched him on TGIF and in the afternoon in syndication. We already know that Harriette, Grandma Estelle and especially Myra, loved the shit out of him for the boy that he was and for the man that he was going to be. Steve was many things - a friend, a neighbor, an inventor, a lover and a suave gentleman (as Stefan Urquelle). But he was also a wearer of suspenders.

So that's why I'm bringing them back. The World needs suspenders just as much as it needs peace. But I'm thinking that I need them more. Pants need to stay up just like kids on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa. I know that I could rock some suspenders and look really good while doing it. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing. I could wear them with a polo shirt and khakis as part of my business casual attire at the office. They would go with a t-shirt and shorts ensemble that I don as I leisurely go about my day off. I could even wear it in conjunction with my Brewers attire when I attend a game at Miller Park. And in the bedroom I could be topless and the suspenders are the only thing keeping my pants on, which is sure to make the ladies squirm with anticipation. Without the suspenders, they would be getting the whole package. But I hold something back. With suspenders I could be the man that I've always wanted to be. Confident that my pants stay around my waist even in the times that they want to fall down. I would be classy and sophisticated, able to hold my own in enlightened conversations about the real issues concerning our nation's future. I would be stylish, yet reserved. My life would be forever changed. And I would have the suspenders to thank for it.

So what's the harm in bringing them back? What could possibly go wrong? They would hold up my pants and at the same time hold up my confidence. I'm at a crossroads in my life. I need this more than ever. This isn't just a fashion choice; this would be a lifestyle change. So the next time you see a robust and jovial man strutting around town wearing suspenders like he owns the world, pay attention to what he does. Because that man is me. And that man is somebody of great importance. That man is going to change the world. No one saw this coming. Everyone just figured one day that man's pants will fall off and he will be nothing but a one-note joke. "Look at the guy with no pants!" they all said. But what they didn't see was a man with ideas in his head. And if you try hard enough and if you believe in yourself, you too can be just like that man. He's bringing back suspenders. What's in your head that you are bringing back?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Friday, October 03, 2014

It's in My Head - #3: Why Don't They Have Light-Up Shoes in My Size?

Why don't they make light-up shoes in my size? When Im walking through Famous Footwear and I'm by myself browsing through the little boys shoes, I get stares. No no no no no no Miss - you don't understand. I'm not here to molest your child. I'm just grabbing these light-up shoes. I figure if I have the store model display I can ask the clerk if they have them in my size. Because I didn't see any of these in the men's section. That's when the mothers clutch their children's hands and briskly walk out of the store looking for a mall security guard. And to think I could've easily avoided this awkward situation if the store would just stock light-up shoes in my size. 

But it turns out it's not the store's fault. The shoe companies don't make light-up shoes in adult sizes. This is an travesty folks. When you were a kid, they never warned you that you'd have to deal with depressing things like this when you became an adult. I don't even know how to properly handle this right now. What kind of God forsaken 3rd World Country are we living in? What is this? I thought this was America - the land of the free. Where I have independence to choose whatever shoes I want. Well, except if I want to choose light-up shoes in my size I guess. 

You all remember these right? With the little LED lights in the soles that all of the other kids had but you didn't because you're a middle class family with 4 kids and a stay at home mom? Those looked like the coolest shoes of all time when I was a kid (well, except for MC Hammer's magical talking shoes on Hammerman). Hell, they still do when I'm an adult. I'm super jealous of every kid who has them. And if that kid wearing the light-up shoes just happened to have size 12 feet, I might just have to beat him up and steal his shoes. I'm anti-violence and I cannot even fathom an acceptable situation when it's OK to hit a child, but I would punch some kid right in his privileged little face if he was wearing my size light-up shoes and wouldn't share the wealth. That punk ass little kid is going down. And I'll speed off fast in his/my light-up shoes.

But is there a big enough demand for this product? I guess not. Because if there were enough level-headed people like me in this World, I could go to Payless and BOGO the shit out of light-up shoes in size Men's 12. Here's a little Business 101 for you (although in my 7 years of college I doubt I ever took that class. And I took every class available to keep me from graduating and becoming an adult) - if there is no demand, then there is no supply. Nobody's asking for light-up shoes pal. Believe me, I Googled it. I'm upset that I didn't find much. And I'm also upset that the second suggestion that displays when I type "kids light" is "kids lighting themselves on fire". Who is looking for that sort of thing so often that it's a popular search suggestion? Good God something is wrong with this World. I just don't understand it any more. 

But anyway, the only things I found online were "How to Make Your Own Light-Up Shoes" and some random overseas sneaker companies that would custom make them for you at a hefty price. Look, I'm not paying $125 for light-up shoes. I don't care that this purchase would make me the happiest adult in the world. There's just not enough room in the family budget to buy $125 shoes. But if the return on my investments is twofold and the Dow Jones has a really good quarter, I could see myself going as high as $75. But seriously, I'm really only looking to pay around $50. That's the kind of World I want to live in. And that's the kind of World that exists in my head. So if the blinking light-up shoes didn't break your concentration and if you didn't have a photosensitive epileptic seizure, I'd like to know - what's in your head?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Thursday, October 02, 2014

It's in My Head - #2: The John Woo Shooting Range

Today as I was walking down the hallway at work from the break room to the bathroom, I put my hands behind my back. Then, in slow motion, pulled out two imaginary guns and started shooting at Sean Archer (John Travolta) while explosions went off all around me. Yep, I was pretending to be Castor Troy  (Nicolas Cage) at the beginning of Face/Off. The real world is tough and work is a place I have to go to every day if I want to get paid. Gotta get that money! So while I'm there I try to escape from it for a little bit. If that means reenacting a scene from a movie in the hallway by myself, then so be it. But this just isn't any movie. Oh no no no. This is Nic Cage at his finest, first as the psychopath Castor Troy and then as the strung out desperate FBI Agent Sean Archer wearing Castor Troy's face and pretending to be a complete psycho. I'M CASTOR TROY!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I love (but I'm not in love with) Nicolas Cage and I could watch this movie at least once a week. I'll probably end up watching it tonight at some point. But what if I didn't just have to watch the movie? What if I could somehow be in the movie? That's what's in my head today. 

I'm not talking about poorly superimposing myself into the movie or asking a friend who is good at CGI to insert my performance in there somewhere. I'm not talking about waiting around for virtual reality to advance like it is on the Holodeck on Star Trek where you can be in the movie (although that would be outstanding). Maybe someday, but that's not what is in my head today. I'm talking about what I would do if I had a ton of money. Like an insane amount. Like I was one of those people who had so much money they don't know what to do with it. I know what I would do with it. I would create my own John Woo Shooting Range. If you've ever seen one of his movies (such as Face/Off, Broken Arrow, Hard Target, Mission Impossible II, Hard Boiled, The Killer and any of the movies he made in China) then you know exactly why this is one of the greatest ideas ever. If you don't know John Woo movies, here's a clip from Face/Off to catch you up to speed:
 

The John Woo Shooting Range would have it all - multiple handguns so you can always have one in each hand, crates, walls and random factory stuff to hide behind, fire and explosions, plenty of doves (and other species of bird) and of course - everything will be in slow motion and set to abnormally pleasant music that contradicts the violence unfolding. Beautiful mesmerizing slow motion. I can picture it in my head right now. I would be trying to corner a robot version of my arch enemy and he would be as crafty and cunning as I am. We would know each other strengths and weaknesses and be able to anticipate each other's moves. It would be something spectacular. And I would be right in the middle of it. 

I'm strongly opposed to guns and violence. I believe that guns are a part of the problem and never a part of the solution. I've only held a gun once and it was unloaded. The first time I went down to South Carolina I asked Officer Werner if I could check out her police gear. I didn't like the gun. Even without any bullets it felt too powerful, almost like it was a power not meant to be welded by mankind. We have no business playing God and choosing who lives and dies. But that's not what the John Woo Shooting Range would be like. In here I wouldn't be playing God, I would be playing Sean Archer. Or Ethan Hunt. Or Riley Hale. Or Chance Boudreaux. I would be the hero. It would be spectacular.

But why stop at The John Woo Shooting Range? Why not also build the Michael Bay Shooting Range? Handguns could still be used, the action would be quick and fast (with scenes lasting at most 3 seconds so that you had no freakin idea what was going on), explosions would be huge and unnecessary, stylish luxury cars would zoom around, there would be a shit-ton of product placements and the place would be littered with scantily clad Victoria's Secret models. Oh yeah - and don't forget the pop rock soundtrack featuring Aerosmith. I could be Martin Lawrence and Jenny Reck could be Will Smith. We'd be spouting catch phrases and trying to remain best friends at the same time.

I can't wait to get mega rich so that I can build this joint. I've got all the plans laid out, now I just have to figure out a way to get all that money to realize my dreams. Too bad that idea didn't creep up in my head instead of this one. But you have to come up with the plan so you aren't stuck swimming in a giant bin of money like Uncle Scrooge McDuck. He's got all that money just sitting there wasting space when it could be invested in The John Woo Shooting Gallery. I should probably give that old miser a call. What's his number again? And while I chase down Launchpad McQuack for Mr. McD's number, give me a call and let me know - what's in your head?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

It's in My Head - #1: Zombie

I get bored pretty often. Being ugly and mean to your friends often brings upon those results. So I have no one to blame but myself. Look, I'm not complaining here folks so don't start crying for me or throwing garbage in my general direction. I'm just stating the obvious. My Uncle Rick once said that there's a positive in every scenario. Here's this one - my boredom leads to creative outbursts. Last year I had two really good ones. In June of 2013 I did The Write Month, where I decided to write every day because I was sorely lacking in that department. Then later that year in October I decided to do another daily adventure in what I called Pickle the Day, where I took a picture every day and talked about it. Both of those adventures can be found in the "From the Archives" section on the right. But that's old news. Here's what I feel like doing this October - It's in Your Head.

When I say "your head" I don't really mean your head (author's note: I have since changed the title to It's in My Head). Although if you do want to tell me what's in your head, comment below or on Facebook when I share the daily post. It's what's in my head that I want to talk about. There's a lot of things moving around in there. I'm no different than any other human being. People have thoughts and ideas all the time. But mine are special. Mine are unique. You know why? Because they belong to me. I'm the only one who has them. Even if it sounds like something that already exists, chances are I'm going to put my own spin on it and offer up my opinion. After all - it is in my head.


I came up with the idea a while back. It's too simple to not use for a daily feature. Why? Because every day I can literally write about anything. Any stupid little idea that pops into my head. Like Zombies. Why Zombies you ask? And why capitalize it even though that is not grammatically correct? The answer to the first question is because of the song by The Cranberries. The answer to the second question is because I feel like it. If you've never heard the song Zombie, then I implore you to click on the play button above (if you haven't already done so). When the question of what's "in your head?" is asked, the logical answer is always Zombies. With their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns. Because in your head they are fighting. But what if they are not fighting? What if they are heading to the local retail store because Macy's was having a blowout sale? Who knows man. Zombies have changed thanks to their immersion into our everyday culture. Thanks to George A. Romero (who started it all), The Walking Dead, The Resident Evil Series (Movies + Video Games), Zombieland, World War Z, the game Plants vs. Zombies and countless others including my personal favorite - Shaun of the Dead. You know about Zombies. But are they in your head?

They are in my head thanks to my brother Timmy (who loved The Cranberries more than any young man should) and my sister Jenny (who would obnoxious belt out the song while I played it on guitar). Sometimes I think - were we wrong to cremate Timmy's body instead of burying it in the ground? He died too young and too suddenly to leave behind a list of wishes for his funeral and burial arrangements. Since he loved Zombies so much, shouldn't we have given him the possibility of being one? I know it's a weird thought, but that's what's in my head. I don't think we are supposed to talk about the deceased with what some might consider to be disrespect, but I feel like he would agree with me.

And finally - yes, I know that this song doesn't have anything to do with real Zombies. It's a protest song about the IRA bomb attacks in Warrington, England in 1993 and the violence that led another child being slowly taken away by death. Calling these soldiers Zombies was a slight on the people who carried out the atrocities by mindlessly following orders. Neither sides were willing to negotiate with each other and the silence led to the violence. Or at least that's what the internet told me. When you listen to the lyrics it's actually a pretty freakin' depressing song. Well, there goes my day. And while I cry about the people who were killed due to unnecessary acts of war, I must ask you - what's in your head?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Telephone Line - Experiment 1: We Are All the Same

I'm trying a new experiment here. I told a friend of mine that I sometimes put sentences through Google translate to see how the English language changes when you try and manipulate it into another language. She commented that it was like the Telephone Game that you played as a child. If you are not familiar with it, here is the basic premise. A message is whispered into someone's ear, and then they in turn whisper that into another person's ear. And they whisper it into another person's ear. And so on and so on and so on. The point is to have it pass through multiple people so you can witness how the message is changed when it goes through different channels, often with hilarious results. Words become convoluted, some words are lost completely and by the time it reaches the last person it is a completely different message. At the end that person speaks the message out loud, and the person who started the message then reveals what they originally said. It rarely is the same message. Everyone hears something different and interprets it in a different way. This makes delivering a simple message very difficult, and this game teaches people not to believe everything they hear because sometimes the message can get lost in translation.

The Google Translator tool converts my writing into another language and then I convert it back to English. The result is often humorous because although languages are the same at their basic core, there are so many subtle differences and quirks because they are still different. To test this out I wrote a couple of paragraphs on some random things that popped into my head. I then plugged those sentences (written in English) into Google Translate and converted them to Chinese. To step it up a notch I then converted those sentences (in Chinese) into Spanish. Then I took those Spanish sentences and converted them back in English. Here is the first Telephone Line Experiment. In this one I try and figure out why people are so different even though we are all the same. I suppose we too just get lost in translation. (Please note that the following text is the multi-translated version. I have included my original post in English at the bottom of the article for comparison if you want to see what I really tried to say before the message was lost. I hope you enjoy this experiment.)



Sometimes I think we're all the same. Somewhere, somewhere far away, a man who loved me, I feel like I am now. 6 billion people in this world, there must be a possibility, right? If you let your imagination run wild with no limits, you can get the plane to survive beyond the separation of our language and cultural barriers. We think we are so different. Also, there are all the same no possible way, right? I lived my life the United States of America. I've never been to China. I do not know what it's like to live there. So there is no way you can understand what it is to be a person born in the United States. But if I can? If we are all equal? Think about this for a second. Our skin may be of a different color. We have different experiences and different cultures. As the world has become so big. It is more than anything, we know, because only a small number of people have been able to see the world from space in the history of mankind. They have a point of view, very few people understand. You can see while looking look down on them a place to call home, we are all equal. We are all human. We all live on Earth.


I've never been to Spain. I do not know what kind of Hispanic descent. Now, do not misunderstand me. I love tacos, I'll wear a straw hat every day, if my country allow it. I joked that I was a rebirth of Mexico. So it's no joke, because this matter is very serious. Why do people laugh when I tell them? Makes as much sense as someone who put her back God, but their reconciliation, in 11 hours, when they are coming to an end on death row and life. They became a born-again Christian and began to pray that God will forgive all their various evil misdeeds. They preach the Word of God can not hear anyone try to convert as many people as possible, and that each new member you get to heaven score another point. So you do not like that. Like when I wear a festive hat and pretend I'm a Spanish does not. This is a ridiculous idea. How does reborn? It can only be used once born. About life in the best and worst of all is that you only get one chance. No do overs. You do not get a chance to half said: "Wait ...... I messed up a bit, I'll have to take heavy melody here, and went to the other, a life, my life now From then I finished, I'll start again, I'm born again, I would take the opportunity to do well again."

We were not given a chance. We only have one life. We are born, live and die. When you think about it, this is one of the few things we all have in common. I do not care who you are, where you come from or what you do. I bet you think I want you to love me. Slow down. I'm not the Backstreet Boys. I'm just one person. I'm not a guy five, then yes your money or success. Yes, how do we really compare with others? This is an unfair standard, because the success of a person is another failed. We all know the saying that one man's trash is another man's treasure. But deep down, we all say that - Although loneliness has always been one of my friend, I'm leaving my life in your hands. People say I'm crazy, I was blind to risk everything at a glance. How you makes me blind is still a mystery, I can not let you out of my head. Care what is written in your history, as long as you're close to me. Ah maybe my Backstreet Boys, I've never seen anyone.



When, perhaps we are all the same breaks. We're all Backstreet Boys. Backstreet definition is "a secret and often illegal." If not add human existence, do not know what is. Confidentiality and illegal acts in this world, for we have heard the dawn of humanity. Remember Adam and Eve? The forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge ate, then lied to God, your Creator, who made ​​no attempt to distinguish right from wrong capabilities, and no desire to become an independent and powerful capabilities wisdom. They want to be like God. They violated the only rule of God, commit the unpardonable sin, expulsion from paradise is the Garden of Eden. The Bible teaches us that we are all from Adam and Eve gave birth, we do the same? Within each of us to become part of it. Thousands of years (one billion people more) parts may be small, but it still exists. We are one people. We are one people. We are all equal.

So, why is there hatred in the world? Why the anger? Why do we kill each other senseless? Why do we have war? Why not have peace in this world? Since we are all the same, should not we be aware that we all have to work together if we are to ensure the survival of our species, but we know very witty stay in the only home to sustain our lives? What happened, and in the course of human existence, things go horribly wrong happened? How does it end this way? I do not know. I doubt anyone would like. I want someone to do, but because we can certainly use some answers. Only in one of the world's demand, but also needed a solution to destroy the growing power of humanity has become. If we are not part by part, do not begin to do to solve the problem rather then the world is doomed. Until people realize that we are the same, and we're in this together, I think it's not important. I opened the news of the day, does not look like this will not happen. Whether humans kill all the other person or people will kill this planet would kill humans. Now there is a third option. No happy ending, until we work together for the survival of our species. But then I think we all have one thing in common, certainly ring true - all going to die. I always thought it would be natural causes. I never thought we were going to be the culprit. God bless us. But the premise is that we must be saved.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman


Here is what I originally wrote (in English, not translated):

Sometimes I like to think that we are all the same. That somewhere, in some far off place, there is someone who is thinking like I do and feeling like I am right now. With 6 billion people in this World, there has to be that possibility, right? If you allow your imagination to soar without boundaries, you can reach a plane of existence that transcends the language and cultural barriers that separate us. We think we are so different. There's no possible way that we are all one and the same, right? I've lived my entire life in the United States of America. I've never been to China. I don't know what it is like to live there. So there is no way that I can understand what it is like to be someone who was born and raised in that country. But what if I could? What if we are all the same? Think about it for a second. Our skin may be different colors. We have different experiences and vastly different cultures. The World seems so big. It's bigger than anything we know because only a select few people in the history of mankind have been able to view the World from space. They have a perspective that very few people understand. They can see, while gazing down upon the place that they call home, that we are all the same. We are all human. And we all live on Planet Earth.

I've never been to Spain. I don't know what it is like to be of Hispanic descent. Now don't get me wrong. I love tacos and I would wear a Sombrero every single day if my country would allow it. I joke that I am a born-again Mexican. Well it's hardly a joke because I'm pretty serious about it. Why do people laugh when I tell them this? It makes as much sense as someone who has turned their back on God, only to reconcile with him at the 11th hour when they are on Death Row and their life is about to end. They become a born-again Christian and start praying that God will forgive them for all of their evil wrong doings. They preach the Word of God to anyone within earshot and try and convert as many people as they can, thinking that with every new member they get another point on Heaven's scoreboard. Well it doesn't work that way. Just like it doesn't work when I put on a festive hat and pretend that I'm some kind of Spanish. It's a ridiculous notion. How can one be born-again? You can only be born once. One of the best and worst things about life is that you only get one chance. There are no do-overs. You don't get the opportunity halfway through to say, "Wait... I screwed up a little bit. I'm going to have to take a mulligan on this one and start over as someone else. This life that I am living right now will henceforth be terminated and I will start anew. I will be born-again. I will have another chance to get this right."

We don't get another chance. We all only have one life. We are born, we live and we die. When you think about it, that's one of the few things that we all have in common. I don't care who you are, where you are from or what you did. I bet you thought I was going to say as long as you love me. Slow down. I'm not the Backstreet Boys. I'm just one guy. I'm not 5 dudes and I certainly don't have their money or their success. Is that how we really compare ourselves to other people? It's an unfair scale because one person's success is another one's failure. And we all know the saying that one person's trash is another one's treasure. But deep down inside we all say this - although loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I'm leavin' my life in your hands. People say I'm crazy and that I am blind, risking it all in a glance. And how you got me blind is still a mystery. I can't get you out of my head. Don't care what is written in your history, as long as you're here with me. Hmmm. Maybe I am the Backstreet Boys. I never saw that one coming.

When you break it down, maybe we are all the same. We are all Backstreet Boys. The definition of backstreet is "taking place in secrecy and often illegally." If that doesn't sum up Human existence, I don't know what does. Secrecy and illegal acts have been prevalent in this World since the dawn of our species. Remember Adam and Eve? They ate the fruit of the forbidden Tree of Knowledge and then they lied to God, their creator, that they weren't seeking the capacity to know right from wrong and weren't craving the ability to become independently wise and powerful. They wanted to be like God. They disobeyed God's only rule and for committing this unforgivable sin, they were banished from the paradise that is the Garden of Eden. The Bible teaches us that we all spawned from Adam and Eve, so doesn't that make us all the same? Inside each and every one of us is a part of them. Thousands of years later (and billions of people later) that part may be microscopic, but it's still there. We are one people. We are all family. We are the same.

So why is there hate in the World? Why is there anger? Why do we senselessly kill each other? Why do we have wars? Why can't we have peace in this World? Since we are all the same, shouldn't we realize that we all have to work together if we are to ensure that our species survives and that the only home that we've ever known stays in tact for the very sake of being able to sustain our lives? What happened along the course of human existence where things went terribly wrong? How did it end up this way? I don't know. I doubt that anyone does. I wish that someone did though, because we could certainly use some answers. Not only does the World demand one, but it also needs a solution to the ever growing power of destruction that humanity has become. If we don't we don't start being part of the solution instead of being part of the problem, then the World is doomed. Until people realize that we are all the same and that we're all in this together, I guess it doesn't matter. I turned on the news the other day and it doesn't look like that will ever happen. Either humans will kill all of the other humans or humans will kill the Earth which will then kill the humans. Right now there is no 3rd option. There is no happy ending until we all work together for the survival of our species. But then I guess one of the things we all have in common will certainly ring true - we are all going to die. I just always thought that it would be by natural causes. I never thought that we would all be to blame. God save us. But only if we deserve to be saved.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 24 - A Perfect Moment in Time

I've been doing this podcast since October of 2012. Wow. I can't believe that it has been that long. Most podcasts are done weekly or monthly or have some kind of a schedule so the listeners know when to expect a new episode. Since I don't have any listeners, I pretty much do it whenever I have something to say. What is the point of talking if you aren't saying anything? I haven't had much to say lately. In fact, this episode was recorded in March when I was driving from Las Vegas, Nevada to Phoenix, Arizona in mid-March but I'm not posting it until late August. So I haven't had anything relevant to say for the past 5 months. But I did want to post this episode because the drive to Las Vegas on Sunday March 16 and the drive back to Phoenix on Tuesday March 18 was exactly what I needed at that point in my life. There's not a whole lot more I love to do than to go for a nice long drive. When I'm out there I'm free from the World and free from my problems. It's just me and the road.

When I'm alone with my thoughts I can either go to a really dark place or I can get all deep and introspective about my life. Very rarely do I think positively or or have happy thoughts. That's why I try to always do something to distract myself from thinking too much. I surround myself with various forms of entertainment to keep my mind from wandering. But I can't ignore it forever. Those thoughts are there waiting for me and they will never go away unless I address them head on and start dealing with my issues. I'm no different than anyone else. People have problems. They just have a better way of dealing with them. I've tried a couple of things but this podcast helps in a way because it allows me to talk things out loud and be held accountable for things I say or promises that I make. No one listens to this nonsense, but there is always the possibility that someone might. And that possibility it what keeps me driving on. I'd like to think that someone out there truly cares about me and what I have to say. They say everything has an audience somewhere. You just have to keep putting yourself and your work out there until that audience finds you. But until that happens I'll just keep doing this for me. So here you go Scott. Here's a reminder that life isn't all bad. There are great things that happen and for at least at one particular moment in time, everything was perfect. Remember that the next time life gets you down.



Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 24 - A Perfect Moment in Time: http://pookon.com/music/dtsa-ep24.mp3



This is a picture of that moment in time. It probably doesn't look like much, but the picture doesn't really tell the whole story. It was the open road, the setting sun, being by myself in a strange and beautiful environment, having nothing better to do and all the time to do it in. Well, within reason I guess. I did have to be back in Phoenix by 10pm for my 11:30pm flight back home. So I couldn't take all the time in the World but it was damn near close. For the most part I knew where I was going. Here's the road - take it to get where you were going. But since I have never traveled on this path, I knew that anything could happen down the road ahead. It was my sense of adventure that kept me going. I guess that's what keeps me living. There's always another adventure waiting for me down the road and I won't be able to experience it if I don't keep driving. I still haven't figured it all out yet and I doubt that I ever will. Maybe we aren't supposed to understand life or know how we factor into the history of the World. Maybe we aren't meant to ever figure out our purpose or the meaning of life. Sometimes things happen that we can't explain or even begin to make sense of. That's when I need to go back to that place. That one moment in time where none of that matters and I just existed in the middle of a grand adventure. Back when even for just a moment, I was free.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Sunday, July 06, 2014

An 18-Pack of High Life Lessons

On Friday April 6, 2012 I bought a case of Miller High Life. While the buying of beer and liquor is fairly common in my life, I decided to do something a little different with it this time around. I decided that with every beer I drank, I had to share something that I've learned in life that I wanted the World to know about in 140 characters or less on my Twitter account using the #HighLifeLesson. Some of these are things that I try to do every day in accordance with my life mottos but most of them were off of the top of my head as I cracked open the next beer. If you came here expecting some stupid drunk nonsense like "Don't Cross the Streams" (although that's good advice) and other movie quotes then you don't understand me. Don't worry about it pal. No one understands me. When you break me down to the core I'm a very thoughtful and intelligent person who is very truthful and reasonable. Unfortunately there are a lot of layers to break away before you can get to that part of me. If you ever took the time to read this blog you would probably understand but no one really has time for that shit. I spend a lot of time alone because people are busy. I get it. But that's not what this article is about. This is about trying to relay some lessons I've learned throughout life that I would like to share. If these lessons help you to live the High Life then I've finally done some good in this World.

I bought an 18 pack of High Life. I'm going to see how many I can drink. And with each one I'm going to share a #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 7:36 pm)

1st beer - Beer tastes so much better when you have a drinking buddy. If you don't have a buddy, drink with a pet. #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 8:06 pm)

2nd beer - You're going to get let down a lot in life. But I bet your letdown is just a #FirstWorldProblem. #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 8:40 pm)

3rd beer - I'll probably never find a girlfriend unless I start looking. But even then she'll probably keep hiding. #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 9:19 pm)

4th beer - sitting around by yourself on a Friday night singing "Moon River" is in no way depressing. #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 10:02 pm)

5th beer - singing opera-style is a lot of fun, and you don't need a great voice to do it. Sing as loud as you want. #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 10:35 pm)

6th beer - Life is in 3D; you just need to take off your glasses to be able to see it. #HighLifeLesson (4/6/2012 11:20 pm)

I only got through 6 of the 18 beers (which is still a decent 1/3rd of a case) that night but in my opinion there wasn't too much to take away from those 6 lessons. They are more what I was doing or how I felt. There isn't much that you could use to try and live the High Life. I might have realized it on that night because I stopped this little adventure. Who knows. That was over 2 years ago. But I do know that the next 7 High Life Lessons that I came up with on the next day are ones that I'm really proud of and I will admit that I try and incorporate them into my life.

7th beer - Fake it till ya make it. Better to screw up trying than to never try at all. #HighLifeLesson (4/7/2012 7:40 am)

8th beer - take time to be wowed by simple yet complex things like fire and clouds. Makes you feel like a kid again. #HighLifeLesson (4/7/2012 10:54 am)

9th beer - put in a hard day of work so you feel no regret following it up with a hard night of drinking. #HighLifeLesson (4/7/2012 7:16 pm)

10th beer - please do not squander a moment of your youth. Once you get older, the mind is willing but the body isn't able. #HighLifeLesson (4/7/2012 7:39 pm)

11th beer - The key to life is finding a balance. Don't take on too much. Set achievable goals. And have some fun. #HighLifeLesson (4/7/2012 8:19 pm)

12th beer - don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. Live your dreams. Chase some whimsies. #HighLifeLesson (4/7/2012 11:21 pm)

13th beer - Don't sit around and wait for luck. Instead practice Karma. Do good and good will happen to you. #HighLifeLesson (4/8/2012 12:52 am)

The 7th High Life Lesson is from my brother Timmy. He was a firm believer in "fake it till you make it" and always encouraged me to at least try. Not many people achieve perfection and the ones that do usually won't admit it because they keep striving to be better. Once you realize that no one is perfect, nothing should stop you from trying and failing until you do succeed.

The 11th High Life lesson is one of the 3 core beliefs that I live my life by. The other 2 are #16 and #18. With this tripod holding me up, I make all of my decisions, assess right from wrong and try to lead a good life. I'm sure there are other factors that go into it but when it comes down to it, I trust in those 3 things to guide me.

The 13th High Life Lesson is very appropriately numbered. I don't believe in luck. I believe in Karma, keeping yourself open to new ideas and adventures and having a positive attitude. When you do that you make your own luck. Ever realize that when one thing goes right you end up falling into several more "lucky" situations? It's the opposite of the "when it rains, it pours" scenario. Some of my best adventures in life have happened because I put myself in a position for good things to happen. Call it what you want (be it Karma or something else) but things rarely go wrong when you do the right thing. It might not always be the easy choice to make, but if you have a good heart and a sound mind you should have no trouble choosing the right path to take.

14th beer - Nap before you rally. Trust me, you'll thank me later. You will rally 10x harder after a little nap. #HighLifeLesson (4/14/2012 4:37 pm)

15th beer - Break down barriers. Run through walls. Keep on pushing until you get there. The finish line is spectacular. #HighLifeLesson (4/14/2012 5:31 pm)

I took a week off before I drank beers #14 and #15 most likely because of #14 - at my age I need to nap before I rally. I'm not getting any younger and it is getting increasingly more difficult to rage as hard as I want to. Also it seems like I'm starting to forget things as well. I could have easily picked this thing up a few days later and continued dishing out lessons. But for some reason I didn't. Something that is more alarming is that it took me almost a year to finish up these 18 High Life Lessons (although I promise you that it didn't take me that long to finish the actual beers).

16th beer - The secret to surviving in life is this - don't be a fucking idiot. Apply this to everything and you'll be alright. #HighLifeLesson (3/14/2013 9:39 pm)

17th beer - It's ok to rage for other people, but make sure to also take time to rage for yourself. Celebrate your life. #HighLifeLesson (3/14/2013 10:29 pm)

18th beer - Slow down and enjoy today. Don't strain yourself worrying about tomorrow. You can't get there until today is over. #HighLifeLesson (3/14/2013 11:31 pm)

It's a little weird that I didn't finish this little adventure until almost a year after I started it. What happened in those 11 months that I couldn't add 3 more High Life Lessons? Life probably happened. It usually does. But I also saved 3 of the most important ones for last. #16 is so incredibly true. There are way too many idiots out there or maybe they are just regular people doing idiotic things. Whatever the case may be, you can apply this thought to just about anything and you'll be OK. It's snowing and visibility is poor? Don't be a fucking idiot - drive carefully and give yourself plenty of space between yourself and the other cars. In a committed relationship? Don't be a fucking idiot and cheat on your partner. Why purposefully hurt another person? That's no way to treat someone that was or is a big part of your life. Those are only 2 examples, but I'm sure you could think of a million more. When a situation presents itself, don't be a fucking idiot. Make the right choice.
 
#17 - I spend too much time Raging for Timmy and not enough time raging for myself. Because of that I've put my life on hold while I've been trying not to forget his. While it is important to continue his legacy, I need to create one of my own as well so people will remember me when I am gone.

The last one (#18) is the final piece that makes up the support system that keeps me standing - slow down. Life moves by real fast and if you don't stop and enjoy it, someday you'll regret it. I've already got tons of regrets and I'm only 33 years old. How many times do I sit by the lake and stare out across open water? How many times do I lay on my back in the park and watch the clouds roll by? How often do I sit with my Mom or my Dad and ask them questions about their childhood? Someday they won't be here anymore. It's sad to think about it but one day I won't be here too. So while I am here, I might as well slow down and enjoy this thing called life. We only get one of them. Might as well enjoy what little of it we have left.
 
If you've enjoyed these High Life Lessons I hope you apply them to your own life or come up with some of your own to follow and share with the World. If you're in to this sort of thing then I implore you to follow me on Twitter for this and all sorts of other random thoughts and nonsense. You can find me at @pookondotcom. And if not, I'm sure that our paths will cross someday in the future if we keep ourselves open to the idea. So until then - cheers pal. Hope you are living the High Life.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 23 - I Only Gamble With My Life

I've had a lot of very interesting days in my life - some good and some bad. I like to try and forget the bad ones even though they are ingrained in my memory. The good ones I don't want to ever forget. But what about the ones that were equally as good and bad? What should I do about those days? I should share them with you. You're welcome in advance. This episode is a departure from the normal structure of this podcast but I had to do something like this again after I had so much fun with it last time I was in Las Vegas. If you listened to Episode 19 - Operation Dawn (which was recorded in March 2013 on my first night out there for a friend's wedding) then you know exactly how this one is going to turn out. The title of this episode comes from 1999's The Mummy. In it, Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) is asked to join in a card game, to which he responds, "I only gamble with my life, never my money." I wish I was the same way, especially after this recent adventure. The truth is that I'm a gambling addict and I can't stay away from Las Vegas even though she repeatedly steals money from my wallet and leaves me lying unsatisfied in a drunken stupor. But like someone in an abused relationship, they go against their better judgment and keep coming back.

This was on the tail end of my trip down to Arizona to watch the Milwaukee Brewers play some Spring Training baseball. It was my plan all along to make the 5 hour drive to Las Vegas but I didn't plan on getting my ass kicked on the first night. I guess I was just ready to blow off some steam and I hit the ground running pretty hard. I was way too drunk to remember to record that night, so I did it the following night when I went to Planet Hollywood. I apologize if I sound a little down but I definitely wasn't as drunk as the night before (no one should ever be), I had already lost all of my allocated gambling money and I had arrived at this casino only to find they removed my Penguin slot machine where I could sit and creepily ogle the scantily clad dancing girls. That was my favorite spot in all of Las Vegas. But I decided to record anyway, and the result is still highly entertaining. 

This podcast is actually 3 separate recordings stitched together. The first 32 minutes were recorded at Planet Hollywood on Monday March 17 while playing some Caesar age of the Roman Empire type slot machine. The next 15 minutes were recorded on Sunday March 16 at the Plaza Casino downtown at like 3 in the morning while playing some slot machine next to some random girl. The last 8 minutes are at 4 in the morning on that same night when I was just about to pass out from a long night of drinking and gambling. I know it's not in the right order as far as when they were recorded, but in some drunken way it kind of makes sense. So kick back, open up a beverage (of the alcoholic kind if you're not at work) and get ready for what I think about when I'm in Las Vegas:



Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 23 - I Only Gamble With My Lifehttp://pookon.com/music/dtsa-ep23-gamble.mp3

I spent most of the day hungover laying in bed watching Boy Meets World. Hell of a way to spend a day in Las Vegas. By the time that I could stomach water and food, almost the entire day had passed. Thankfully I was in Las Vegas and there is plenty to do at night, so I took my car down to to the Strip and wandered around for a bit before settling in at the Planet Hollywood to record this episode. Here is a sampling of my Twitter account @pookondotcom from that night when I got into the usual hi-jinks that come from hanging out by yourself and drinking in a foreign city. As you can imagine, things got a little weird. They always do.

Playing Reels O'Dublin at Margaritaville. After all, it is #StPatricksDay. Might as well do something Irish. #LasVegas

The drink girls at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville wear bikinis. Iceman likes. Mostly because I'm sad, pathetic and single. #LasVegas

I got a Landshark Lager as my "free" beer. I wish I could stay here all day. They have some great music. #Margaritaville #LasVegas

I'm starting to think that I'm unlucky. Oh really Iceman? What tipped you off? When you lost all that money? #LasVegas

It's not even fair how bad I am doing. It's like they should invent a new phrase, like "pulling an Iceman". #loser #LasVegas

My drink girl at Margaritaville had some really nice totties. If I was just a little more drunk, I would've told her. #SexyTime #LasVegas

Roamed the halls of the Flamingo looking for an ice machine. Something tells me I've been here before... #WSoBP #LasVegas

Drinking a potent mixture of rum, whiskey and mountain dew. If this thing kills me, I've led a horrifying life. #rage

Trying to find my favorite slot at Planet Hollywood. Where I can creepily ogle the dancing girls. And I can't find it. #Drunk

Either my bearings are off or they got rid of my favorite machine. I can't find it here. #sadness #LasVegas

I'm seriously upset right now. How am I supposed to creepily ogle the dancing girls now without looking weird? #LasVegas

I feel like another part of me has died. Las Vegas as I know it is no more. I don't ever want to come back here again. #sadness

I'm really upset here. I made one heck of a journey to get here only to find no prize at the finish line. #sadness #LasVegas

I feel like Forrest Gump when he's done running. "I'm pretty tired. I guess I'll go home now." #LasVegas

Don't get me wrong. I love noise. I would eat it for breakfast. But I can't stand noise just for the sake of noise. #LasVegas

Despite all the weird looks I got, I recorded a drunken podcast in #LasVegas. Just as you requested @MPW8279.

#LasVegas doesn't give a fuck that it is a Monday night and neither do I. Hell of a town. #rage

(I'm laughing at some random thing I saw, cackling like a maniac) Random: are you ok man? Me: no way. Not at all. #LasVegas

Drinking wine while watching the Bellagio Fountain show. I have to keep it classy. That's the only way to live. #LasVegas

Sang some Celine Dion at Bellagio with some beautiful girls from New Zealand. It's always good to be the Iceman. #LasVegas

After meeting those girls I definitely want my wife to be from New Zealand. What's sexier than a foreign accent? #LasVegas

Got a Corona and I'm playing Fireball. After this I can definitely call it quits. #LasVegas

Thanks for joining me on yet another adventure. I spend a lot of time alone, which is why I take to my Twitter account to invite the World (well, actually my 270 followers or whomever ends up randomly seeing my tweets because of my hashtags) to come along with me. These things that I put on there are my actual thoughts or things that I did or said. There is no lying or manipulation of the truth. Where's the fun in that? It's hilarious because it's true. I really am this strange. No wonder why I don't have anyone to hang out with on a Saturday night or a girlfriend. Is it that hard to believe? It's a gift and a curse. I can entertain the masses and draw in but at the same time I push everybody away. But that's life. That's what I experience along my drive. Thanks for riding shotgun for a bit. Remember to tip the valet.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Drunken Movie Reviews - Big Ass Spider

Every now and then a movie comes out that is right up my alley. From the first moment I hear about it I know that I will love it. Most often it is because of the cast, writer or the director. Sometimes it's the subject matter. With this movie it was all in the title - Big Ass Spider. What is this movie about? It's right there, clear as day, plain as a white sheet of printer paper. This movie is about a big ass spider. How is that not the coolest thing ever? If you're shaking your head right now then you must be one of those film snobs who only see movies that have a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes or get talked about come Awards Season. I have nothing against those films and I happen to like a lot of them. But for my money it doesn't get any better than a movie that knows exactly what it is and gets right to the point. There's no underlying subplot about a girl with Daddy issues or a man struggling to find his place in an ever changing society. There are no political subtexts and it isn't a commentary on the war on terror. It's an Exterminator and a Mexican Security Guard trying to take down a big ass spider. 

I don't even know why I'm trying to explain the damn thing. Why should I waste my time trying to convince you to watch the movie? Look, you either get it or you don't. If you are like me then you said yes right away when you saw the name Big Ass Spider. If you think that this is a stupid name for a movie and that it will probably suck then don't even bother watching it. I don't really care what you think because I had a great time with this flick. In fact, I had so much fun with it that I decided to record a drunken review of the movie. Of course this contains spoilers, so don't listen to it unless you have already seen the movie or if you don't care about some drunken asshole telling you all about it. But seriously, how can anything I say be a spoiler? You've seen this type of movie a million times - a monster is created and fucks shit up and it is up to some lowly underdog and his comedic sidekick to save the girl and save the day because the "professionals" (US Military in this case) couldn't do it. But even though I've seen this type of movie before, it didn't stop me from having one hell of a good time with it. Don't believe me? Check out my drunken review by clicking below.



Right click and Save As to download a copy of Drunken Movie Reviews - Big Ass Spider: http://pookon.com/music/dmr%20-%20big%20ass%20spider.mp3 

I really wish there were more movies like Big Ass Spider. This isn't the highest, most intelligent form of art. Far from it. This is entertainment. Isn't that what movies are supposed to be? Life is tough. Work is hard. Managing relationships and dealing with Family members causes a lot of stress. So when you want to relax, you are free to unwind in any way you see fit. I love nothing more than to pour a rum or whiskey drink, put on an action movie or comedy I've seen 100 times and forget all of the troubles around me. It's a way to escape the World without putting yourself in danger or even leaving your living room. You may love The Godfather (I've only seen it once) or Schindler's List (never seen it) or be a huge fan of Pulp Fiction (I happen to think Tarantino films are rather overrated and I've never really enjoyed any of them). But give me The Replacements (which I could watch every day) or Ghostbusters (which I've literally - no exaggeration - seen hundreds of times) and I'll never be happier. That's the beauty of art and entertainment - it's subjective. What I love isn't necessarily what you love. And I love Big Ass Spider. What do you love? Well, besides poetry, a glass of scotch and of course, your pal Baxter?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom