Reck Family Christmas Letter 2013

2013 was a major transition, as Melissa and James both accepted new jobs. After 12 years with Home Depot, James took a position with Krones Inc as a Labeler Technician. The job requires 100% travel and much time away from home, but the offer was too good to pass up. 

Melissa left the Columbia Police Department after 5 years of service to become the Training and Development Coordinator for the National Safety Council, South Carolina Chapter. Her responsibilities include the Alive at 25 program and driver education program. Their canine kids, Baya and Tucker, have been more mischievous than ever - telling their parents they need a new couch, windows, walls, carpet………. Who knew a couch and window frames tasted so good?!

In May, they celebrated their 3 year anniversary in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for their friends’ destination wedding. They enjoyed having many friends and family visit them in South Carolina this year, and hope more are able to visit soon!

For the 32^nd consecutive year, Scott has failed in his attempt to find Sasquatch. But that hasn’t dampened his spirits at all. In order to fund his endeavors he works full time at the Mark Travel Corporation and recently got a promotion to the Product Build Research Team. He would tell you what he does, but it might be easier to find Sasquatch than to find an explanation for how he spends 40 hours of the week. All that he knows is that he gets paid, and that money goes directly towards new field and research equipment in the ongoing search for one of nature’s most elusive beasts. 

This next year will be his 13^th year working at Miller Park and he wouldn’t trade that job for anything, not even a map to the Sasquatch’s secret cave. The Milwaukee Brewers occupy most of his free time (even in the offseason) but when he’s not talking baseball he’s planning expeditions with his sidekick and assistant, Major Korben Dallas (his cat). Their lair of operations is around 85^th and Capital, so it’s a quick shot over to The Mothership (Mom’s House) for some free eats when their food budget has to be allocated towards night vision goggles and infrared video equipment. 

Scott recently bought his first “new” car, a 2005 Chrysler Sebring Convertible. Sure, a convertible may not be practical in the state of Wisconsin or for tracking down Sasquatches, but he’s never been a practical guy. If you have any tip for finding Sasquatch (or for finding him a wife crazy enough to put up with these shenanigans), make sure to contact him. You can find him on the internet when he’s not patrolling the Pacific Northwest. Your assistance is appreciated!

While Jenny is not out hunting Sasquatch, she does like to hang out with Scotty and supports him in his ventures to do so. She also enjoys hanging out at the Mothership, and misses her family who reside in the South. With each passing year, she gets a little bit older, a little bit wiser…. She is still working downtown on Plankinton above Rock Bottom at a small firm. Although not her dream job, it pays the bills and she likes her work environment. She likes to keep in mind that you've got to appreciate what you can get. She also still lives on the east side of Milwaukee, so close to the happenings that go on in the summer/fall, especially since most of the festivals and such are close and free, and who doesn't like free? 

The beginning of this year was a tough one, as her cat Higgins — who was only two and a half — unexpectedly died. He had a blockage in his intestines, and had surgeries that they hoped would heal him. It was very sad, and she is a little lonelier. She was definitely so grateful and surprised of how much she got support from so many friends and family for her loss of her kitty — even non-cat lovers!! She is also glad for the continuous comfort and support from everyone for the loss of Timmy. This year she has made it her goal to have a positive outlook on life, to keep going forward, to grow, have fun, and see the beauty in the world! Keep on keepin’ on! She likes to think that the glass is ¾ full. Happy Holidays everyone!

2013 has really flown by for me, and has brought many changes to my life. (Someday there will be a Lifetime Movie about me…) I am now teaching K4 - 4th grade music at five (yes 5!) Lutheran schools. It has been a challenge, but I really do love my job. Where else can you work and get free hugs all the time? My relationship with Eddie is over, but I’m happy to say that my faith, family and friends (my trifecta of values) remain intact. I survived my Algebra class in spring (through tears and countless hours of tutoring from friends), and did get an “A”. I am 3 credits short of graduation, and it has to be a math class. As of this writing, I do not know what class it is going to be. Two of them are only offered during the day during spring semester, and Intermediate Algebra would surely give me a nervous breakdown! I am in the process of figuring it out, but will graduate sometime in 2014! What a journey this year has been!

My positive highlights of the year include visiting James, Melissa and “granddogs” in Columbia; spending time with Scott and Jenny (they put up my tree and the outside lights—what a blessing! Scott shovels snow for me and Jenny will help with cleaning—I am so lucky!); singing with Unplugged/Reindeer Pause (thanks to Pat, Maureen, Shayne, Tom and Brian!); spending time at Afterglow with my brothers and families, and my good friends there; Saturday night suppers with my dad; singing with the “Messengers of Joy” at St. Catherine Parish; receiving a letter from Tim’s liver recipient and a postcard from his heart recipient; and a very special highlight: Celebrating the life of our Timmy, at the second annual “Rage for Tim” concert. A very special thank you goes out to everyone who attended, performed, brought snacks, helped to set up/clean up, and donated over $700 to WhyHunger. It makes me so happy to hear stories about my boy, and to hear his music performed by other people. To see the video from this event, or hear Tim’s music, go to www.timreck.com. Scott also has copies of the new CD, “Color in This World”, if you did not get one at the concert. You may contact Scott (info on website) or me for your copy.

As I finish writing this, I am reflecting on the joy I saw on the faces of the children at Christmas Concert #2 this evening—December 12 (three more to go next week!) Their joy in singing about the Lord is contagious, and made me feel so grateful that I get to be a part of it! May all of you feel that same joy during this blessed Christmas season! Thank you for your gift of friendship!

With Love from the Reck Family - 

Kris, James, Melissa, Scott, Jenny, Gracie, Baya, Tucker and Major Korben Dalls

Movember - I Mustache You A Question

The month of November (Movember) has come to a close, so I mustache myself a question - what did I accomplish? In my eyes it was a complete and total failure. If the goal was to grow a mustache then I failed miserably with this pathetic attempt at upper lip facial hair. You can barely see it unless you come within kissing distance (and trust me, nobody does) and it barely shows up on film unless you get up close and personal (which no one wants to do). I had to do 5 or 6 different "selfies" before one worked out. The other ones ran for the hills which is what you probably did when you realized I didn't have my shirt on. Don't make me go topless. You wouldn't like me... when I'm topless. My other goal was to better my health through diet and exercise. I still drink alcohol like it is the cure for loneliness and I put more sweets into my body than Googy Gress does on an average Sunday. And exercise? I avoid that like I avoid contact with the opposite sex. Why do I fear working out? Why am I afraid of bettering myself so that I can live longer, create new memories and finally make a positive impact on this World? Why have I become so complacent with being that fat ugly bastard when there is a beautiful person inside of me waiting to come out and show himself to the World? Why is he inside of me? Did I eat him? Probably. I'll eat anything. Except for mushrooms and chocolate cake. There are some things I will say no to believe it or not. I'm in the same place that I was on November 1st. Nothing has changed. 

I vowed to change my mental health as well, and as you can read both between and on the lines, it's still pretty bad. I don't believe in myself and constantly beat myself with a stick until I bleed. I've sunken so far to the depths of the sea that not even James Cameron could raise me up like the Titanic. I wish I could just be happy like all of you normies. There's something in my head that prevents me from having... what's that called again... confidence? I'll shoot myself down nonstop but I'm never there to pick myself back up. It's like a double-edged sword. Cut on the first swing and then stabbed on the way back. I'm left bleeding out on the ground in a puddle of my own misery. It's all my fault too. I was wielding the sword. It was a self inflected wound. I need to learn how to stop cutting myself. Only then can I start to heal. Another goal was to raise some money for men's health issues like prostate and testicular cancer research. I donated $50 of my own money which is good I guess, since that is $50 more than they would have had if I wasn't involved. But I didn't campaign or try and raise money for this noble cause. I didn't even post anything on Facebook or Twitter to engage my followers to join me in my efforts. I didn't even try to raise money. I'm sure that my family, my close friends or even a stranger or two would have tossed me a couple of bucks. Even if someone other than me gave as little as $1 I could have done some good with that. But instead I did nothing. You really can't do anything worse than doing nothing at all.

I wish I could say that this was the most disappointed with myself that I've ever been. Slow down pal. There are so many to chose from that this doesn't even make the Top 10. I was destined to fail. In some ways it's just another chapter in a failure of a life. I was given so much but I decided to throw it all away in several senseless acts. I've had countless chances to redeem myself yet I have chosen just to sink myself further and further below the surface. I wish I could say I was sick of being a complete butthead and a total loser. But I'm not even close. In many ways I'm still a success and I will not stop until I've completely destroyed my life. I'm getting close. I can see it now. You probably could paint the picture with all of the colors I've given you, but you still don't have the whole palette. I'm more pathetic than you can ever imagine. I don't even know why I still try. Luckily there are a few reasons preventing me from quitting and giving up on life, but who knows how long that will last. The tunnel is getting darker as I move along, the glass is less than half full and I'm also running out of analogies here. Fuck it. I'm sick of talking about it. You all have so many better things to do with you lives than to give a shit about mine. I don't care so why should you? I'm so done with this. I'm sorry for wasting your time. Enjoy your life. I hope you figured it out because I'm stuck.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

25 Brewers in 25 Days - 2013 Season Recap - Overall

I really don't want to do this. Let's get that out of the way from the start. I'm a big Milwaukee Brewers fan and I'll sit and talk baseball until my voice is hoarse, but I don't really care to write about it anymore. Get a couple shots of whiskey in me (sorry rum, I've moved on) and that might change. But unfortunately back in March I was excited for the 2013 season and I wrote up a player by player preview called "25 Brewers in 25 Days" that I've been doing since 2010. I do have fun making predictions and seeing how well I know the players on this team but after the disaster of a season that was 2013, I just want to turn the page and move on. Who wants to look back at this train wreck? With train wrecks you usually can't look away and you feel ashamed of yourself for even looking in the first place. I'm no different than any other Joe. Or Scott. Did I watch nearly every game on TV or listen to them on the radio? Of course. Did I follow every pitch and listen to every postgame show on Sportsradio 1250 WSSP? Damn right I did. I love me some Tim and Sparky. Did I have a good time going to games this year? That's a given. Thanks to being a season ticket holder of a 20 game pack, I went to not only those games but also a handful more. And almost every time I was there I was wearing a sombrero and drunk as the day I was born. 

And speaking of being drunk, I must have been when I made the overall predictions for the 2013 season. I'll openly admit that I'm kind of a of a homer and tend to look at this team through some pretty sudsy beer goggles. I tend to be overly optimistic because I want to see them win. I also tend to spend my money like a gentleman in a strange town plowing through ladies of the night, especially when it comes to gambling. When I was in Las Vegas in March I put $50 on the Brewers to have a winning season because the over/under was 80.5 games. I figured there was no way they would have a losing record. They weren't that bad, right? Little did I know that 2013 would be one of the worst seasons in recent memory. Sure, I've been through worse seasons as a life-long Brewers fan, but aside from 2009 there wasn't another year where the expectations were so high and then came crumbling down like a banshee. I guess there is no better time than the present to take a look at my predictions for the 2013 season and see how totally wrong I was:

• The Brewers will finish will a record of 86-76 which will be good enough for 2nd in the division (with Cincinnati 1st, St. Louis 3rd, Pittsburgh 4th and Chicago 5th) but not good enough to make the Playoffs. They will compete for the 2nd Wild Card all the way until the end but end up missing it by 2 games. The Brewers finished at 74-88, which had them at 4th. Thank God for the Cubs, who finished in last place. St. Louis won the division at 97-65, Pittsburgh was in 2nd at 94-68 and Cincinnati was 3rd at 90-72. Pittsburgh and Cincinnati won the NL Wildcards and the Brewers ended up 23 games back in the division and 16 games back in the Wildcard. They never competed thanks to a 6-22 record in the month of May.
• The Brewers will send 3 players to the All-Star Game at Citi Field in New York City - Ryan Braun, Jonathon Lucroy and Yovani Gallardo. As you know, Ryan Braun was injured for most of the year and was pretty awful at the plate. And then he admitted to using performance enhancing drugs. Jonathon Lucroy had an awful first couple of months but then rebounded to have a fantastic season. But it was too late to be in consideration for the All-Star Game. Yovani Gallardo had his worst year statistically but finished strong. I was wrong on all 3 of them representing the Brewers in the Mid-Summer Classic. Instead Jean Segura and Carlos Gomez made their first All-Star appearances. Both deserved it and I hope this isn't the first time they hold this honor.
• Brewers fever will continue to sweep over the state of Wisconsin and we will draw over 3 million fans again, which is amazing considering our market size. Thanks to the slow start and awful May, they didn't draw 3 million fans. But they still drew 2,531,105 for an average of 31,248 per game, which is outstanding considering the kind of season we had. Even more amazing was that they drew more fans than playoff teams like Pittsburgh, Oakland, Cleveland and Tampa Bay. They also fell just a few thousand behind other playoff teams like Cincinnati and Atlanta. Brewers fans once again showed they love and support for their team, which makes me proud to be one of them.
• I bought 2 tickets in a 20-game pack, so the Sombrero will once again dominate TV broadcasts as we continue to start the Revolution in the Left Field Bleachers. I don't think we ever got on TV. I know we were on the Scoreboard Screen once or twice, but I don't recall anyone lighting up my phone or Facebook wall with "Holy Shit! Iceman you were on TV!" this season. That's alright though. Although it was a step back in the Sombrero Revolution it just means that we will have another shot next year. I renewed my 20-game pack even though I can't really afford it. Fuck it. We're all going to die someday. There's nothing I love more than going to Brewers games. Might as well do what I love as long as I'm still alive.

That's just the beginning of this look back at the 2013 season. I hate myself already for doing this. I wish that I could just leave it be and not even talk about this team anymore. I wish that I wasn't so morbidly obese so much so that it prevents me from ever being able to kiss a girl. Fuck! When Lord, when!?! When's going to be my time!?! Probably when I pay more attention to the opposite sex and less attention to 25 dudes who don't give a fuck about me. I don't see that happening any time soon because I was born a loser and I'm destined to die that way. That's why it's fitting that I'm a Milwaukee Brewers fan. We've had a team for 43 years and our most celebrated accomplishment is losing a World Series in 1982. I'm in too deep. I might as well stick it out just in case they decided to win one during my lifetime. And since I already started this piece of shit, I guess I have to roll with this one as well. So check back soon for my breakdown of the Infield, Outfield, Starting Rotation and Bullpen. I'll do my best to at least make it an entertaining read. That's the best I can do. Fuck it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Movember - Movement of the People

I decided to join the Movember Movement. This idea came into my mind somewhere around October 20th when my brother James was in town. He's been one of the loyal readers of this blog and we had a very meaningful and deep conversation in the precious moments we were able to spend together. Life has thrown us a few curve balls and both of us have reacted differently. I'm very open and honest with my feelings through various mediums while he only shares his feelings with those close to him. I don't have a problem with that. To each their own. We all deal with things differently. There is no right or wrong, only Zuul. One thing that my big brother wants for me is to be happy, and he is concerned for my physical and mental well being. If you've read everything that I've written during October as part of the Pickle the Day experiment, you should be worried too. My life is kind of  a mess. But that doesn't mean that it has to be. I've had a plan to turn my life around. I've had this plan for a very long time. It is well thought out and has a simple step-by-step process to follow in order to get me to be Living the Dream instead of just #LivingTheDream. Trust me, it makes sense. He asked me why I haven't started this plan yet. I told him that I needed two things - a goal and a push. I have that goal now. It will be revealed at the end of the month. Sorry again for the tease. And here is the push - Movember.

For the last 13 days or so, I've had a plan to better my mental and physical health. I decided that November would be a perfect time to do this. During this month I pledge to do a few things and the first of which is to take better care of my body by regulating what goes into it. This means eating less, eating the right kinds of foods, consuming less alcohol and sugary drinks, taking vitamins and drinking more water. For this month I'm going to do my best to stay away from things like candy, snack foods, fast food, soda or anything that is unnecessary for the body to survive. I'm not going to say that I can completely do without it. That's impossible. I'm human. And a fat human at that. It'd be like a monkey going without bananas. Moderation is the key. I need to be smart about it. I need to understand that I'm not perfect and I'm probably going to screw this up at some point. But I must be smart about it. I must think before I do and stay true to my promise. I am capable of doing anything that I put my mind to. It's amazing what you can achieve when you want something so bad. I want to be healthy in body and in spirit. I want to be like you. I want to be one of the normies.

Exercise is the next step. I don't do it nearly enough. There's some kind of number that is floated out there of recommended amount per day but I'm going to ignore that. Why? Because I know what I can and can't do. Look, walking for longer than a few minutes makes me tired and out of breath. How am I supposed to handle 45 minutes of brisk movement? I'll start small and increase it from there if I know I can handle it. My goal is to exercise in some way for 30 minutes per day to start off. Any kind of movement will do. I sit at a desk for 8+ hours a day and when that is done I go home and sit at my computer. This lack of movement is literally killing me as we speak. I don't have to do a lot but I have to do something. I've tried to go to the gym before. I'm one of those suckers that pays a monthly fitness membership but never goes to work out. You know how much money I spend on that shit? I need to stop wasting money and taking advantage of those opportunities. This is for the greater good after all. The world is a better place with Scott "Iceman" Reck living in it, and I should stick around for a while and try to realize that.

My mental health is the 3rd thing that I need to work on. I have to start thinking positively and not feel like a worthless piece of shit. I'm a great person who is helpful, has a good heart and mind and has plenty of wonderful things to share with the world. I'm funny, creative, kind and loving. I'm not the asshole that I paint myself out to be. I am a positive and worthwhile part of the lives of the people who exist around me. I'm lucky to be a part of their journey and they are lucky to have me be a part of theirs. Life is a beautiful thing. Every day that we wake up we are given a chance to write another chapter in our story. We are given the chance to turn it all around. To make up for the wrongs that we may have done and to better ourselves going forward. We only get one shot at life. For the most part I think that I've wasted 32 years. Sure, there's been some pretty sweet things along the way (how many people do you know that have been the star of a documentary?) but my life has been nowhere near what I expected. So it's time to at least put myself in a position to live up to those expectations. It's time to chase some dreams. It's time to work towards some goals. It's time to start living. It's time to move on. It's time to get going. What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing. But under my feet baby, the grass is growing. It's time to move on. It's time to get going.

And now we get to the Movember part. I didn't intend for it to be a factor. I was already planning on making November a health month for myself, but then I decided that as long as I was going to help myself, why not try and help other people as well? If you aren't familiar with Movember, here is some information from their website: 

Campaign Strategy & Goals:

We will get men to grow moustaches and the community to support them by creating an innovative, fun and engaging annual Movember campaign that results in:

• Funds for men's health program investment

• Conversations about men's health that lead to:

- Greater awareness and understanding of the health risks men face

- Men taking action to remain well

- When men are sick they know what to do and take action

Program Goals:

Living with and Beyond Cancer

Men living with prostate or testicular cancer have the care needed to be physically and mentally well.

Staying Mentally Healthy, Living with and Beyond Mental Illness

• Men are mentally healthy and take action to remain well

• When men experience mental illness they take action early

• Men are not treated differently when they experience a mental illness

Men's Health Research

We will fund innovative research that builds powerful, collaborative teams that accelerate:

• Improved clinical tests and treatments for prostate and testicular cancer

• Improved physical and mental health outcomes for men

So yeah, I'm clean shaven today (November 1st as I was writing this) and I'm going to be growing a mustache for the entire month. I promise you that this is going to get weird. I might have to steer clear of schools, day cares and toy stores because I'm going to look the part. I have a hard enough time growing a decent beard or goatee, so a mustache has always been out of the question. But it is for a good cause, not just for myself but for all mankind. Cancer is very real and very scary. I pray to God I never know that first hand. I'm all for giving what little money I have to help us figure out a way to at least help people deal with this life changing illness and hopefully someday figure out a way to cure it. It's a dream worth fighting for. With every day that goes by we learn more about the human body and the World in which we live in. I'm not necessarily for playing God or going against God's will (I'm a believer in that God decides when it is our time to die) but why should we have to suffer if we don't have to? People weren't meant to live lives in pain and in sickness. We are supposed to be happy and filled with joy. We are meant to be free. I'm all for that.

I realize that this is a lot to take in. This is what happens to me at 3 in the morning when I can't sleep. While you're off counting sheep or having Adventures in Slumberland with Little Nemo, I'm sitting awake and coming up with all these crazy ideas. But are they really so crazy? Many people all over the World do things like this, so I know I'm not alone here. If you want to join my cause, I encourage you to do so at my Movember page. Here is the address:

http://us.movember.com/mospace/8200465

If you don't feel comfortable putting in your credit card online or only want to contribute couch change or a couple of bucks, just toss it my way the next time you see me and I will add it online. And if all you want to do is offer some support to me for my efforts to better my physical and mental health, you can do that as well. I'm not asking for anything. I already have the love and support of countless family and friends who help me out on a daily basis. And I understand that money is tight. I have student loans that I will never pay off even if I keep working until the day that I die. I get it. But I'm also not going to stop you if you want to support a good cause. It's your life. You get to choose what you want to do with it. That's one of the greatest things about it. I have decided to try something new. I have no idea what will happen, but I'm willing to take the risk. What's the worst that could happen? I stand nothing to lose here. Well, unless you count looking like a creeper with a goofy mustache losing. I don't even know how I come up with this stuff. My mind is a twisted place. But if even a little bit of good comes out of this crazy idea, then it isn't so crazy, right?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 31st - I Got Nothing

For the past 30 days I've been taking pictures of things and talking about them. You've certainly noticed how the quality of my posts have definitely dropped off near the end. Well today I got nothing. Nothing to see here folks! Move along! There's nothing to see here! I had an idea of what to do on the last day of this experiment but I'm so burned out from life and my job and that I just couldn't do it. My brother James challenged me to set a goal by the end of the month. To make some kind of change in my life. To address some of the negative things that are affecting me and to do something about them. While I wasn't able to address that challenge by the end of the month, I do have something planned for November. You probably won't hear much about it on this blog or on Facebook though because it is a life challenge and involves me getting away from the computer and out of the house. I'll probably write one post about it so you know about it or maybe I won't. It might just be my secret. I don't know. I haven't figured out all of the logistics yet. But it's a step in the right direction and I'm hoping that it gets the ball rolling and I start dying to live instead of living to die. I need to find a reason to live and while that still might take a while to figure out, in the meantime I can begin my journey instead of sitting here. You're either moving forward, going backwards or standing still. That's something Jimbo "All Ears" McGinty taught me. Jimbo is wise man. I'm tired of standing still.

Sorry to be so vague and tease you but the post is called I Got Nothing. I can't give you something if I am promising nothing. That's false advertisement. People get sued over shit like that. Lives are ruined in one fell swoop. I don't have enough money to survive  a lawsuit and I'm clinging to what little I have in life. I can't afford to lose that. So you're just going to have to sit and wait if you care to know what is coming next in my life and in this blog. If you want to check out now, I don't blame you. You've probably got your own problems in life that require your attention. You don't have time to listen to someone who has a lot of things going for them bitch and moan about how much their life sucks. Look I understand that people have it worse than me and that from someone else's perspective my life is pretty amazing. You want it? Because I'm not happy in it. But this is my life. This is my one chance on Earth to do something amazing. I can't give my life away. I can't live someone else's. I need to change mine to what I want it to be. It all starts with a goal and a push. I'm working on both. The jar is empty. This is the last pickle that I'm going to share on here. October has been an interesting month. We've had a lot of highs and lows (mostly lows) but it has been an adventure. That's all I ever ask for. It was a lot of work but I did enjoy it. I think that I'm going to make this a regular segment on the blog with the one change being that it will happen only when I find a picture worth sharing with you. I'm going to force it like I did on probably 1/3 of the days. So if you also enjoyed this keep an eye out for more in the future and if you didn't, why are you even reading this? Take care my friends and godspeed to you. Good luck in your journey. Thanks for coming along for part of mine.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 30th - Uh! The Temptations!

It's no secret that I like to eat. One look at me tells that story. Let's just say I'll never be confused for a starving orphan child. But I will still ask, "Please Sir, can I have some more?" Greedy bastard. You don't need seconds. What you need is to stop eating. My Mom had a bowl full of candy at her house in case Trick-O-Treaters came by. No one wants to be that house who doesn't have shit. It gives you a bad rep in the neighborhood. I took a handful of candy on Sunday, put it in my freezer and now I'm trying to see how long I can go without eating it. Sounds like an easy challenge, right? Not for someone who thinks that food goes bad if you keep it for more than a few hours. I'm a compulsive eater who keeps eating when they are not hungry. I'm probably making things up/making excuses but I think that I have an addictive personality. I always need to be doing something but that thing is rarely something positive. When I'm bored, I eat or drink. Instead of doing that I should be out walking around or exercising in some way but I'm too lazy. I need a complete lifestyle change because I hate the person that I am today. There's a good reason why I try not to leave the house. I'd rather be alone in my misery instead of bothering other people with it. 

And it all starts from within. I need to change my mind before I change my habits or my body. I'm starting to think that I might need help from an outside source because I'm not making any progress on my own. You've been following along over the last few weeks here for Pickle the Day. How many of these posts have been something positive? Even the ones that started out as a lighthearted tale quickly dove into the depths of sadness and negativity. I need to figure out a lot of things in my life. I've been sayin' it. I've been sayin' it for 10 damn years, Miguel. Ain't I been sayin' it? You don't have to read my mind to know we need to get as far away from here as we can. I picked the wrong time to do this little experiment. And it looks like you picked the wrong goddamn rec room! Fucking Graboids. You killed 3 Ninja's Grandpa. For that I will never forgive you. What a sweet and kind old man. How dare you. Wait... what? You were just hungry and he was the closest available food source? I know exactly what that is like. My apologies Graboid. I do forgive you. Me and you are one and the same. Just misunderstood creatures searching for some food. We can't help ourselves.

I'm no Graboid, but if I don't do something about it soon I'll be as big as one of them. What if Kevin Bacon lifted half of me up in the air and yelled out, "I think I found the ass end!" How embarrassing would that be? That's a 1st degree of Kevin Bacon. Yeah, a 1st degree burn. I don't need or want that to happen. Who wants to be humiliated by Kevin Bacon? I'm sure once you could start laughing about it (after many years of therapy) it would make a great story at Christmas Parties. I don't know anyone who has been picked up and jiggled by Kevin Bacon, so if that happens I will corner the market on that experience. Or at least in my social circle. I'm going to try and avoid that if possible. I've already had enough heartbreak and disappointment in my life. I don't need Kevin Bacon to add to it. That would be completely unnecessary. While my food consumption, lack of exercise and overall attitude about my life is a concern, I was really reaching for a pickle today and didn't have a good one. I'm definitely out of ideas and I'm thankful that I only have to come up with 1 more pickle to share. The jar is nearly empty my friends. Only one remains. I will be sharing that with you tomorrow as the month of October comes to and end. As for those candy bars? They're all mine. I'm not sharing shit! I haven't eaten them yet but pretty soon the temptation will get to me. It always does. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 29th - Derail Your Own Train

I'm going to warn you right away that this post is about death. I know that subject matter bothers a lot of people and the rest of you are sick and tired of me being so morose all the time. Deal with it. You can leave now and I won't be upset. The clicker already got your visit as a "view" on my page. But I'm still asking you to hear me out. Things aren't always what they appear folks. Every day on the way to work I pass over some railroad tracks. As I'm crossing over, I look down the tracks for a second and stare off into the distance. This doesn't last long because I soon continue along my way. Looking on down the line makes me think of death because of the movie Big Fish. I love this movie and I think it is Tim Burton's finest movie because it is completely different than anything else he has directed. It doesn't have the signature Tim Burton weird style that he seems obsessed with overdoing. But the best part about it is the story. I won't spoil it if you haven't seen the movie but the basic plot is this - as a father lays dying, he retells his incredible life story filled with tall tales that his son is sick of hearing and doesn't believe. The son wants to figure out the truth behind his father's stories to separate the man from the myth. He wants to know who is father really was because he feels lied to for his entire life. Through a series of flashbacks we learn that there's a little bit of truth to every story and that life is really just one big adventure. The reason that I bring that up is that as a boy, Edward Bloom (the father) visits a witch and sees when and how he is going to die. While he is always painted as a brave and adventuresome person, this knowledge allows him to take risks and face danger head-on because he knows he will not die until he is an old man. That makes me think - if given the choice, would I want to know how and when I will die?

It's an interesting conundrum because it could either take all of the fun out of life or give you the chance to live life to the fullest. If I found out I would die alone at 100 that doesn't sound like a future worth looking forward to. But if I found out that I was going to die by 40, would that scare me or inspire me? I'm not sure. I'd probably give up. Say fuck it, quit my job and destroy what remains of my life. What's the point in trying now if I knew I only had 8 years left to reap the rewards. There would be no sense trying to start a family or creating something grand or beautiful because I wouldn't be around to enjoy it. I would probably sink into a dark depression and waste my time on this planet. I wish I could say that I would finally live life but I know how I am. Most people would get to work crossing things off of their bucket lists and quit putting things off for tomorrow, because one of these days there won't be a tomorrow. I would be worse than I am right now. I would be a walking disaster. I would succumb to the evils that torment me every day. Things that tell me to lie, cheat, steal, drink, gamble and be a total asshole. What's the point of living if you have nothing to live for? 

Alright so I went there. Sorry. But the other inspiration behind this article is if you could choose how you die, would you want to? If you haven't already figured it out then you most certainly know by now that I'm a little different than everyone else. If I was allowed to choose my method of death I want to die derailing a train. You know, like when a train goes too fast and falls off the tracks which usually results in a big collision and explosion? That's how I want to go. But I have a couple of rules about it. 1. - I am the only person who dies from the derailing. It's not fair to them if I take some innocent people or animals out with me. I need to do this in an unpopulated area where the impact to the Earth will be minimal. That leads to my second rule. 2. - I do what to die in a fiery and jaw dropping crash. It needs to be big and grand. But I also don't want to cause long-term harm to the environment due to a chemical spill or burn down an entire forest with the blaze. So it needs to be explosive yet contained. Kind of like fireworks. My next rule is 3. - People need to be around to see it. I want video of me in the train (an old school train like in Back to the Future III) wearing a conductor's hat pulling the chord with the train horn signalling my impending death. Then I want the camera to pull back so you can see the entire scene and once I derail, it gets captured in multiple angles in stunning high definition display. I don't want it to be so graphic so that you can see me die but I do want you see the train derailment in all the glorious details - wide shot, close up, slow motion, 7 angles, instant replay, from the ground and from the sky. I want to be a spectacle in death as I was in life. Besides, how many times have you see a live train derailment? Plus it would make for an interesting story if I managed to get into Heaven. How'd you die? Guy #1: old age, in my sleep. Guy #2: heart attack at 55. Should have taken better care of myself. Girl #1: car crash. I was texting and driving. Girl #2: complications during childbirth. I never even got to see my baby. Kid #1: hit by a drunk driver. Kid #2: cancer. Me: derailed my own train. All of them had the same result but mine is the only story that isn't sad. Death shouldn't be sad. You should be able to go out on your own terms when you are ready. And when I'm ready I want to derail a train.

It's no secret that I want to die by train derailment. I don't know why I talk about it so much but many of my friends are aware of my final plan. What's wrong with me? Sometimes I think that I'm a little messed up in the head but then a part of me starts to think - does anyone else do this kind of thing? Do you think about death in weird ways? Do you plan out your demise in such unique fashion? I doubt it. If there ever was a question that I'm unique, this is yet another resounding YES from the amassed crowd. I don't know why I'm so different but I like it. What's the point in being like everyone else? Speaking of, here's the part where I have to assure you that I'm O.K. and you don't have to elevate the death watch to Orange or some shit. I'm not going anywhere, or at least I don't know that I am. I don't plan on dying any time soon but that is the mystery surrounding it. We never quite know when or how we die and I'm sure that when I do, it probably won't be by train derailment. But it doesn't hurt to dream, right?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 28th - People Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Best Friend

People, let me tell you about my best friend. I'm sure that I've mentioned Major Korben Dallas on this blog before or on Facebook, but just in case you are new to these parts, here he is. And yes, he is a cat. No offense to my human best friends, but I spend more time with my cat then any other living thing on this planet. Despite working 40+ hours a week (more in the summer) and trying to to have a life, I spend most of my free time at home. This is by choice mostly. I would just rather dress how I want (pants optional), kick back and do whatever I feel like doing. Most of the time that's working on various projects that are internet based. While this is mostly because this is my true passion, it is also because the majority of my friends are busy with their own lives due to being in a relationship, having children or being too cool to sit at home with their cat on a Friday night. I'm not complaining because I had the opportunity to go out and do something on both Friday and Saturday night this weekend and I turned them both down. Instead Korben and I watched Pacific Rim on bluray on Friday and Game 3 of the World Series on Saturday. He's my best friend and he doesn't leave the house, so if I want to hang out with him I can't leave the house either.

I have a history of loving my pets too much. I had Coach Gordon Bombay from 2006 - 2012 and he was my BFF. Unfortunately he didn't last forever and I had to say goodbye when he was only 8 years old. I still think about him all the time. He was the greatest cat ever. But don't tell that to Korben Dallas. I've had him for one year now and it took a while for us to bond. He used to bite me almost every day when I would try and pet him and I would tell everyone that my cat is an asshole. But he's my asshole. He has problems because he's from the streets. He runs around the apartment like he's trying to save the World or something and makes so much noise all the time. He cries like a little baby when he's hungry (he's about 3 years old) and stares at me when he's not sleeping. I have hundreds of pictures already (yeah I'm that guy) but the "photobomb" one here is probably my favorite. We hang out just like two dudes would only I call him sweetheart. I guess some dudes call each other sweetheart. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I talk to him like he can understand me and able to respond back. Despite trying to teach him the English language so he can use his words instead of his meows, it's still a one-way conversation. But it's the best conversation that I have all day because even if he judges me, he's doing it silently. Plus I can flip him off and there's not a damn thing he can do about it except stare back. Who flips off an animal? I suppose that I do. But I do it out of love. He's my best friend.

I have a lot of friends. And an awesome family. I've been lucky in life to get to know a lot of people and have those people accept me for who I am. I don't hang out with all of them nearly as much as I should but that's because I'm at home with my cat. So if you have a problem with that stop on over at my house. I promise I will be there. I bet a lot of you out there know exactly how I feel. A lot of people have dogs, cats, rabbits, ferrets, goldfish and helper monkeys living at their homes that they have become attached to. I'm sure there are even some of you out there who are in way deeper than I am. I don't litter Facebook with his pictures and I certainly don't dress him up in silly little outfits. I'm weird and everything, but there's a line that I don't cross. Weirdos. But not that there's anything wrong with that. I could go on and on about my friendship with my cat but some things are better left unsaid. The most important thing is that he is always here for me when I get home. Most days I don't anyone else in the World. But he loves me, he needs me for survival and he misses me when I am gone. I don't really get that feeling from anyone else in my life. Every one else will be just fine if I disappear for a few days. Their lives will go one. His will stand still. I have a responsibility. In some small weird way, I have a reason to live. If I'm gone then he will be too. That's why I can't go anywhere. Korben Dallas is too important to me. That little bastard is my best friend. And he's also my pickle today. There's only a few of them left and the jar is looking rather empty. I'm reaching towards the bottom and coming up empty. Who knows what will be here tomorrow.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 27th - Check Out This Bush!

The title of this article pretty much says it all. I've been waiting all month for a picture and a title that stands alone (like the cheese!) and doesn't need any explanation. The last time I stumbled upon something this good was waaaaay back on October 1st with Caution Hole. I didn't feel the need to say anything about that because hole is just funny on its' own, but it was my first entry (heh heh, entry) and I had to describe what I was doing this month with Pickle the Day. Yesterday I was doing some yardwork over at my Mom's house and I had to dig up this dead bush in the garden. Since it was wood I decided that I should burn it because wood burns. Look, I can put two and two together folks. I may not be that smart, but when it comes to burning things I'm a god damned genius. I can't give myself too much credit though because I think everyone knows that. I'm a natural pyro. I will burn just about anything I get my ash covered hands on. I have requests out to most everyone that I know if I can burn their things when they are done using them. For example - my Mom's neighbor's fence. It's falling apart and every year they talk about replacing it. And when they do, I offered to take it off of their hands so I can have a fence burning party. My Dad has a giant broken tree limb that I offered to take piece by piece as soon as the tree guy cuts it down. I will have enough wood to last the summer with that thing. I scour the alleys for things to burn and I often find some unusual things that will light up the backyard. If it will burn, I will throw it into the fire.

That's pretty much it. Did you see that bush? Gross, right? Good thing that I got rid of it because it was starting to upset the delicate nature of things. Plus I had a bunch of other things to burn so it gave me something to do with my afternoon. I had a beautiful fall day, some whiskey and a fire. Is there really anything else better in life? Those three things just go hand in hand. If I had it my way I would do that every day but I would probably use up all of the wood on the planet and life would suck because all of the trees would be gone. Have you ever read The Lorax? Things didn't work out so well in that book. Since my knowledge of all things is either based on movies or things I learned when I was a kid, I know that you can't just burn things all day, every day. There are consequences to those actions so like every other aspect of life, moderation is the key. So while you won't find me having a fire every day, I promise I will I have one every time the opportunity presents itself. One thing I will have every day (albeit only for the last few remaining days in October) is a new pickle to share with you. There's a whole jar of them out there. Well at least unless that jar is made out of wood. In that case I have probably already burned it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 26th - If Jesus was a Carpenter, God Must Have Been a Painter

Yesterday I talked about how I don't understand art. Well that's not entirely true. I should clarify - I don't understand some forms of art. I don't think that I am meant to. I don't understand how God works either. That I for sure know I am not meant to. God works in mysterious ways. We've all heard that so many times that it's getting old by now. But it's true. It really is. Since I complained about the shitty art hanging in my office building God gave me a reminder that there are all sorts of art forms in this World and they mean different things to different people. Case in point - I love sunsets. Say what you want about it but I don't care. I'm that guy. I don't don't cry or anything and write sonnets about them. I'm not that emotionally unstable when the sun goes away for the night. But I could sit and stare out to the West and watch the sun slowly fall beyond the horizon line. What follows (if you're lucky) is a grand display of colors and shading that only God could paint. Sure, I've seen artists try and capture sunsets through paintings and they're all nice and everything, but nothing can be as good as or beat the real thing. Photographs come close, but they still can't capture the scope and the feeling of being there and experiencing it for yourself. I'd give anything to be at the Ocean right about now. Sunsets are cool and everything, but the addition of a large body of water adds to the experience. We have Lake Michigan here in Wisconsin but it is to the East. The sun sets in the West. You do the math.

This one was easy. I just walked outside and found the pickle that I was looking for. For the most part I don't plan these in advance. That was one rule. Sometimes I have an idea but then it completely changes if something else happens. I'll admit that I was looking for something like this. Yesterday I said, "Tomorrow I will try to find some art. I will try to find some beauty in a place where others might see nothing. Or maybe I won't. That is the greatest thing about this adventure. I have no idea what I will see tomorrow and what pickle I will share with you." A lot of people see sunsets. Duh. They're kind of obvious and right there in front of your face every single night. But people see them differently and take something different away from them. Or they see it and move on. That's what is so wonderful about humans. We're all the same yet we are so incredibly different. It truly is an insane idea if you think about it. Two people can look at the same thing and each have a unique take on it. I don't know how this works but I love it.

I don't know how the World was created, how I have managed to stay alive for 32 years, how Earth is supposedly the only planet that can sustain life, how there are forms of life that live on this planet that we haven't even discovered yet, how clouds can look like certain objects, why each sunset is different, how man has figured out how to get to outer space, how Horton was able to hear a Who, how in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE did John Mason (Sean Connery) manage to get out of his cell because in our current situation it could prove to be useful information MAYBE, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop or a million other things that I don't know how they happen or work. That is what is so amazing about life. There is beauty everywhere even if we don't see it at the time. Today's pickle was right in front of my face but I don't know what tomorrow will bring. What I do know is that somewhere there is a jar with a couple of pickles left in it (we're running out of days in October) that are waiting to be shared. Come back tomorrow to see another one. Just make sure that you don't cry at the sunset in the meantime. Or do whatever you want. I won't judge you.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 25th - Some People Call it Art. It's Crap!!

I'm probably going to piss off a lot of people with this post. I have friends who are artists and I stand behind what they do. I will always support someone who creates something and chases their dreams no matter what the odds or society tells you what to do. I just don't get art. Like the painted and sculpted and physical art. The kind that you see hung on walls in museums and dentist's offices. I consider myself an artist but I paint with my words. I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who don't get what I do. I don't blame them. Most of the time I don't get what I do. But at least I can understand it. Every day at work I pass by these paintings on the wall and shake my head. They look like something a 3rd grader drew. I probably brought some of these home when I was a kid. My Mom probably looked at the scribbles and mismatched colors, said "Well that's nice!" and hung it on the fridge for a few days before throwing it away. 

I'll give you this - there are some pretty nice and vibrant colors in these paintings and they certainly do catch the eye. In a way they spruce up the otherwise bland office building that I work in. I guess that is the point after all. But I still don't get it and why these people are able to make money off of something that seems like anyone could do. These artists who made these probably have more money than I do. Of course that's not hard to do because a lot of people have more money than I do. I don't get paid a single American penny to do any of this crap that I call art, so if that painter sold one of his works for even a few dollars, they are already more successful than I am. So maybe that's why I don't get it. They might not be able to make a living off of it but at least they receive some sort of monetary compensation for their time and effort. I just miss out on sleep, interaction with females and bonding with what little friends I have left that put up with my bullshit. I guess I'm just jealous of artists for being able to do something that I can't. Maybe that's why I don't get it because I've never been able to create something like that myself. Sometimes you have to be able to see before you believe. Or maybe it's all just crap. 

The whole point of living is to learn, try new things and to gain a better understanding of the World around you. I don't know if I have done any of those things yet. But I suppose I should. And I need to stop dismissing things that I don't understand. Just because it is different than what I am used to doesn't make it crap. I'm not very accepting of foreign things. I spend the majority of my life inside of my little bubble and I forget that there is a grand World out there filled with wonderful things to be discovered. Every now and then I venture outside of the familiar but I always return back to the comfort of my home at the end of the day. I don't understand the unknown because I chose not to. You call it art. I need to call it art as well. If I don't learn to see things as others do, I am not living in harmony with the World. I will always be an opposing force that is causing conflict. I will be part of the problem instead of being part of the solution. This is no way to live. I've been doing it wrong this whole time. Tomorrow I will try to find some art. I will try to find some beauty in a place where others might see nothing. Or maybe I won't. That is the greatest thing about this adventure. I have no idea what I will see tomorrow and what pickle I will share with you. All that I know is that there is a jar of them sitting around somewhere and all I have to do is open up my eyes to find them. And when I do, I am sure to tell you exactly what I think about them.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
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Pickle the Day: October 24th - Be A Guitar Hero

My family is very talented when it comes to music. If Jenny and I put our skills to good use and practiced more often, we could really do something great in this world. Timmy had the talent and the drive. He was my guitar hero. But even though Jenny and I know how to play real guitar, we'll never be as good in real life as we are on the video game Guitar Hero. Jenny and I had been talking about playing this game again for the last couple of weeks, and when Brandon also expressed interest (along with the assumption that he was better than us at the game) we set up a night to play. Since I only used my Playstation 2 once in the last year (the experiment gone wrong episode of The Drive to Stay Alive called Drunk Driving in Vice City) and haven't played Guitar Hero for like 3 years, I was anxious to bust out this gem and relive some old memories. We played the shit out of this game from when I was first introduced to the game at Jason and Guppy's to late night jam sessions with Joey Kanz. I've played every version of the game and rocked just about every track. This game will always hold a place in my heart and I intend to hold on to it and play it in front of my kids (if I ever have kids) and embarrass them with how lame video games used to be.

We played a lot of Guitar Hero back in the day. And I mean a lot. Probably more than anyone should have played. In hindsight we should have done something more constructive with our lives, but it was a hell of a lot of fun at the time. One of the things that always impressed me was how bad Timmy was at the game Guitar Hero. Why did that impress me? Because a real musician should not excel at a video game version of the game. They shouldn't waste their time pushing colored buttons when the game instructs them to do so. They don't see the songs like that. They feel them in their hearts. Since he was so bad at the game he would sit in the back of the room and play along with the song on a real guitar. Often he would strum the chords not because he knew the song, but because he was able to pick it up by ear. Having that kind of skill for recognition astounds me. I can't memorize the chords or words to a song if I've played it 100 times. He could pick it up in less than a minute. While we were smashing buttons he was picking strings, playing his own solo perfectly to the digital sound emitting from the speakers. I would put on a show while playing the game. Putting the guitar behind my head, behind my back or even turning my entire body away from the TV because I knew the button pattern by heart. But the real show was Timmy who could do it in real life. I'd give anything to have that kind of talent for music.

But until I hone my skills on the 7th instrument (piano, trumpet, saxophone, french horn, trombone, tuba and guitar) that I learned to play, I will have to settle for being a video game Guitar Hero. It's not all bad though. Jenny fancies herself a pro at this game, and she is pretty damn good too. The only player she can't beat is Joey Kanz. That drives her crazy. She unleashes her wrath on anyone who dares to challenge her, and there were fighting words thrown around on Wednesday night when we played Guitar Hero III. At one point she was destroying Brandon by so much that she offered to give him a chance by playing behind her head. He still didn't stand a chance as she beat him mercilessly while showing off at the same time. I loved every minute of it. My sister is tough and she doesn't take shit from anyone. I didn't even bother playing her one-on-one. There are some battles that are not worth fighting. But one battle that I should be engaged in is the one against my own self-doubt. I don't think I will ever be good at guitar so I don't practice enough. I have the natural ability. I have my parents to thank for that. I promised Timmy that I would be a Guitar Hero. I'm not there yet. But I will be. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying. There are many pickles in this jar, and I intend to share another one with you again tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I certainly don't. And I'm playing lead guitar in this band.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
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