Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Kameron Loe (16 of 25)

Brewers pitcher Kameron Loe does draw comparisons to the Addams' Family butler Lurch. At 6'8" Loe is the tallest and most intimidating force in the bullpen. Lurch is pretty intimidating himself and most like will scare the bejesus out of representatives from the Church of Latter Day Saints when the come door to door looking to spread the good word and collect donations. Lurch would scare them Lutheran. When Loe stands on the mound he gains 10 inches, putting him at an impressive 7'6" of pitching dominance. It's not too hard to throw pitches on a downward plane from that height to induce ground balls, but you still need to have control to be able to locate your pitches effectively. Lurch was 6'9" tall and stands a full inch taller than Kameron Loe, but I doubt that he could strike out Aramis Ramirez. He could probably break him in half because Lurch was some kind of monster or some shit, but I don't think Major League baseball would allow a pitcher to rip people in half as a way of getting them out. That's the kind of plate appearance that would land you on the permanent DL.

So it takes more than just being tall to pitch a baseball, just like just being tall does not make you good at basketball. Sure it helps, but you also need to have talent and athletic skill. In 58 innings in 2010 Loe struck out 46 batters and walked 15. Now I'm no math whiz or anything, but that looks like a 3:1 ratio, which is pretty damn good if you ask me. And that doesn't take into effect the number of times that he got a hitter to ground out or hit into a double play. There is a stat for that somewhere because there is a stat for everything in major league baseball. If I wanted to find out Kameron Loe's ERA in Miller Park weekday day games when the temperature was below 65 degrees and the roof was closed and the circus was in town and the vending machine was out of Snickers bars that day and he showered that morning and he took the side streets to Miller Park instead of the freeway on days when he was wearing a black undershirt I could find that information out. But that's not why you come to a site like this. You come here because I say that Kameron Loe looks like Lurch from the Addams Family. Now that's some hardcore journalism and sports analysis that you won't get anywhere else. I promise you that.



Kameron Loe was part of the bullpen shakeup that took place in May that saw guys like Claudio Vargas get cut, LaTroy Hawkins go on the DL and guys like Mitch Stetter get sent to the minors. When Loe arrived with Axford and Braddock the bullpen started to take shape and everyone assumed their roles. Despite another year in which the bullpen was overworked due to short games by the starting pitchers, the bullpen was once again a strength of this team. And the guys that made it a strength are returning for another year.

Kameron Loe is very important to the bullpen because he will serve as one of the set up men to closer John Axford. Along with Takashi Saito and and the situational lefty Zach Braddock / Mitch Stetter (depending on which one makes the roster out of Spring Training) he will be bridging the gap from starter to closer and I for one am more than happy to have him there. You need a guy who is going to be able to pitch a couple of times a week and be effective when he does. Guys like that, the "workhorse" are tough to find. Todd Coffey was that man the last few years but unfortunately he was due to make more money in 2011. Since the majority of the budget is going to starting pitching and Prince Fielder, younger cheaper minor league players have to step up and take on that role for a fraction of the cost. It did help that Loe performed well last year so that we were comfortable letting Coffey go. But can he repeat in 2011? "I hope so" (with fingers crossed.)

With injuries to Greinke, Marcum and Parra the Brewers have only 3 healthy starters as it stands today. Greinke and Parra will open the season on the DL but Marcum looks to be good to go. But we do need to find a 5th starter before the season opens in 10 days. One named tossed into the hat was Kameron Loe because he has previously started games in both the majors and the minors. But manager Ron Roenicke instantly dismissed the idea because he believe Loe is too valuable as a relief pitcher. There is this saying that no pitcher wants to be a reliever, they just fell into that role because they couldn't cut it as a starter. Kameron Loe seems to have found his role as a shutdown reliever which is sometimes harder to find than a starter who can go 6 innings and have a 4 ERA. Just look at Manny Parra's performance as a starter vs. a reliever and you could have another case where someone just isn't cut out to start games at the major league level. Here's hoping that Kameron Loe continues to excel as a reliever and puts up numbers similar to this in 2011:

2-3 record, 3.16 ERA, 64 innings pitched, 52 strikeouts and he will answer the door at the Addams Family mansion when when friends and family like Cousin IT come to visit. Now if only Loe would play the Miller Park organ then I would know that he really was Lurch masquerading as a Major League pitcher.

We all hope that Kameron Loe has a 2011 season that is comparable to the 2010 one that he had. The same can't be said for veteran reliever LaTroy Hawkins. In the winter of '09 signing Hawkins to a 2 year contract was a bit of a head scratcher to me. And my worst fears came to life as Hawkins only pitched in 18 games in 2010 while sitting back and collecting a paycheck the other 144 games. He's supposedly healthy in 2011 after having shoulder surgery in August last year, but he has yet to appear in a Spring Training game in 2011. That doesn't matter because money talks, and his $3.25 million dollar salary in 2011 says that he needs to at least try to help us win games. How effective will this 39 year old be? Is he fully recovered from his injury? Does anyone even give a shit? Is the sasquatch just a blurry creature and there's nothing wrong with the cameras that have tried to capture his image? Will I answer all of these questions and more tomorrow? Are you even reading this crap anymore? Who knows, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Mark Kotsay (15 of 25)

I didn't have anything to say about Brewers back-up outfielder Mark Kotsay last night, so I went to sleep. I had night terrors like my brother Timmy does and I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. Even though I dreamnt up some really scary ass shit that I don't wish upon anymore, it still did not provide me with any material to put here today. Even though I woke up this morning and "got inspired" and my mind is now racing with ideas, I still cannot come up with something relevant to say about the Brewers new back-up player. I even put my shirt and pants on backwards Kris-Kross style then walked backwards so that I would be the one backing-up. But since my clothes were on backwards, it looked like I was walking forwards, so I have no way to connect with a backwards person. With the starting players I can go on for hours. That goes with the whole forward thinking aspect. I don't think in the past. That's improbable. I don't live in the past. That's intentional. And I also don't travel back to the past. That's impossible. I don't own or lease one of Doc Brown's DeLorean Time Travel machines. So unless my name is Dr. Sam Beckett and I take a quantum leap back into the past, I cannot backup in time. Sorry for wasting time that neither you nor I can go back and recover, but I felt like I needed to make you understand that I do not know much about the backups, but I know I love them. And that may be, all I need to to know.

So what do people do when they don't know something? I used to ask my Dad because he's pretty book smart. If he doesn't know then I ask my Mom because she's both booksmart and street smart. But since I'm no longer 12 years old and I know other people and have access to the internet, I use the Google on the internet machine that everyone except Chazz Michael Michaels knows how to do. And every time I Google an athlete that I need info / a picture on, I find a picture of their hot wife / girlfriend. And then I get upset and wonder what the hell am I doing wrong where I don't have a hot wife / girlfriend. Then I remember that I am not smart, not good looking, not physically fit, not rich, not professional and not an athlete. So basically I have no chance at all of landing a smoking hot wife / girlfriend. Or any wife / girlfriend for that matter. So I'm just going to get old and die alone because women don't like me. Makes a guy want to turn gay right? But I can't, not because there's anything wrong with being gay, but what's the point of being gay if even guys don't find me attractive. And then there's the small fact that I love women. So whereas Mark Kotsay gets to hit for the cycle with this fine piece of ass, I cozy up to the liquor bottle and cry myself to passing out.

If there was a fight between Zack Greinke's wife Emily and Mark Kotsay's wife Jamie not only would I watch it, but I would also root for Jamie. You saw a picture I put up of Mrs. Social Anxiety and just try to compare her to this fine specimine. To me it's no contest, but then again this may be one of those beauty is in the eye of the beerholder kind of things. Just like Oscar the Grouch lives in treasure that is another man's trash, what I like may not be the same as what other people like. But I do know that Mark Kotsay and I have 2 of the same likes in common - baseball and his wife. I don't know yet if I want to watch Mark Kotsay back-up Braun, Gomez and Hart in the outfield, but I already know that I would watch Jamie Kotsay back that thang up on anything or anyone, though I would say that I want it to be me rather than Mark. But some guys have all the luck and get all of the rewards that come with hitting the jackpot. Although I'm not a winner, at least I still have my health, right? Well not really. But at least I still have my sense of humor!



They say that girls love a guy with a sense of humor, but it's obvious from this video that I have a lot of other issues going on in my life right now that I should probably deal with before worrying about all the issues of being in a relationship. But Mark Kotsay doesn't have to worry about much. He'll be lucky to start 1 game a week in one of the 3 outfield spots (though he might be in the lineup on Opening Day if Corey Hart opens the season on the DL) so he doesn't need to worry about defense and 4 at bats per game. He does need to be ready to pinch hit, but because he is also a lefty like Craig Counsell, he will be called on in pinch hitting situations to drive in runs instead of getting on base. He has more more power than Counsell, but that's not saying much because babies have more power than Counsell.

But he is comparable to Counsell in the fact that he too brings veteran leadership and postseason experience to what is still a relatively young team. Yeah I know that the majority of the homegrown Brewers talent is now in their prime in their late 20's, but from an experience point they are still young. 1 postseason appearance in 5 years? And only 1 win during that series? That ain't shit. And that's coming from a guy who has no experience at all. The 2011 season will be the most difficult season thus far thanks to the preseason injuries and expectations. They will need some quality clubhouse "glue" players to keep them focused and level headed during all of the ups and downs of the season. They've suffered through too many injuries already this spring and you haven't seen anyone panic. A lot of that has to do with it only being March, but I'd like to think that veteran players like Counsell and Kotsay are already helping to calm the team down. And I'll be calm if he puts together a season like this:

.263 AVG, .330 OBP, 5 HRs, 33 RBIs and his wife will get creepy oogled by me on the club level when she sits up there with the other player's wives. I can't help it. I'm lonely.

And speaking of creepy, the next player is only creepy because he's big and scary looking like Lurch on the Addams Family. Lurch answers the door when someone comes calling at the house. Relief pitcher Kameron Loe answers the call to come into the game when manager Ron Roenicke makes the U.S. Cellular call to the bullpen. The Addams Family does not have a lot of guests at their house because they are a bunch of weirdos, but Kameron Loe will see a lot of playing time because he is the new Todd Coffey and will be the go-to guy when the Brewers need to get a ground ball out or a double play. In 2010 he was second in appearances only to the previously mentioned Coffey and will be counted upon to lead the team in 2011 now that the hot Coffey is served sprinting out of the Washington Nationals bullpen. Loe had a fantastic 2010, but will his ERA get low, get low, get low again in 2011? I see no reason why it can't, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Craig Counsell (14 of 25)

Brewers infielder Craig Counsell is extremely important to the team in 2011, much like he has been in the past few seasons. His presence on and off the field is invaluable to a team that is looking to make a push for the division title and a playoff appearance. Every team needs veteran leadership and Counsell is the man for the job. His versatility in the infield allows him to play 2nd or 3rd base when Rickie Weeks and Casey McGegehee need to take a day off. Since that's only going to happen a total of like 10 times between the two of them, Counsell's ability to also play shortstop is what is going to get him in the lineup the most. Much has been said of Yuniesky Betancourt's defensive woes, and unless he does a 180 and figures out how to not be terrible with the glove, Counsell will be the semi regular shortstop on this team. I know that Counsell doesn't want to play every day. That's not to say that he doesn't have the tools and talent or the desire to play, but it's an indication that he knows what his role on this team is. He's the back-up infielder and pinch hitter off of the bench. If he's in the starting lineup 4 days a week that means that one of the everyday players is out of the lineup due to injury or ineffectiveness. And Counsell has been around the block long enough to know that Casey McGehee, Rickie Weeks and yes, even Yuniesky Betancourt are better everyday options than he is.

And that doesn't mean that Counsell can't still play or that he is not capable of producing when he is on the field. But let's face it, he's 40 years old and he's not getting any younger. And even though he's in pretty damn good shape, that doesn't stop the fact that old just catches up with you. I'm not one to talk though because I know that he's in a hell of a lot better shape than I am, but then again who isn't? Fuck, I think the Michelin Man is in better shape that I am. I struggle for 2 minutes and wince when I am getting up off the couch. I have to stop and take a breather on the way to the kitchen to grab myself another rum punch. Thank God I live on the 1st floor in my apartment building or else I would never make it home at night. I'd just sleep in the lobby. I'm so fat that I got on the scale and it said one at a time please! I tell ya, when I go to the beach people feel sorry for me and try to roll me back into the water. And when I do get into the water fishing boats surround me and the sea captain yells out "Thar she blows!" and they start shooting harpoons at me. Damn it! I'm doing it again! This isn't "25 pathetic things about Scott in 25 days" this is "25 Brewers in 25 Days" so I'll stop talking about me and continue talking about Craig Counsell. Because that's because you came here today, right? I know that you did, and I also know that you want to read about Craig Counsell. Because everyone does. Everybody loves Craig, for more reasons than we can ever come up with.

I already mentioned his versatility, veteran leadership but let's take a second to talk about his offense. Never known for being a big slugger (41 career homeruns in 14 seasons), his contribution to the offense is getting on base. He's a patient batter in a lineup filled with free swingers, which is why he's a perfect pinch hitter late in the game when the Brewers need a run to tie the game or take the lead. If there is one thing that Counsell does it's get on base via the walk or one of his signature clutch hits. There's a reason we call him C3 (Craig "Clutch" Counsell) because when the game is on the line and we need a baserunner, there's no one I'd rather have at the plate. Craig Counsell will get the job done. That's not to say that he doesn't hit an occasional homerun though. Cousin Kevin and I were in Washington D.C. at Nationals Ballpark when the Brewers dropped a 10 spot on the Nationals in the 1st inning of the game on April 18, 2010. In his 2nd at bat of the inning with the bases loaded and 1 out, the mighty Craig Counsell put one over the rightfield wall for his 3rd career Grand Slam that added the final 4 runs in that 10 run first inning.

There are many reasons to love Craig Counsell, but in my opinion the biggest reason is that he is one of us. True, he was born in South Bend, Indiana but his family moved to Whitefish Bay at an early age and attended High School there while his dad worked for the Milwaukee Brewers. He grew up playing baseball and watching the Brewers. Hey, I did that too! Craig Counsell is just like me! Since we're now family, I went to his hometown, the Village of Whitefish Bay to talk about my brother and how much he means to the Reck (especially my brother James) and Brewers families.



Look for Craig Counsell to help out immensely during the stretch run in the dog days of September as he plays almost every day because pitching and defense wins games. Hopefully by then our pitching staff will be 100% and helping to make that push seeing as they had the entire season under their belts and save the best for last, just like they did last September when it was too little too late and we had fallen out of contention. Counsell may not have the power of a Prince Fielder, the athleticism of Ryan Braun or the speed of Rickie Weeks, but his heart, effort and attitude put him as my 3rd favorite Brewers player behind Weeks and Fielder. While Counsell will contribute in too many ways to mention, only these stats that will show up in the box score:

.270 AVG, .337 OPB, 2 HRs, 34 RBIs and the pride of Whitefish Bay, Milwaukee and the entire state of Wisconsin, even though they haven't come up with a stat for that yet.

While I do know a good amount about Craig Counsell because 2011 will be his 6th year with the Brewers, I know nothing about the other veteran back-up Mark Kotsay. But just because I don't know anything about him doesn't mean that I don't like him. If there is one thing that I have learned over the years watching the Brewers it's that you need quality back-up players. Whether you like it or not, a player needs to take a couple of days off or spends a little time on the DL. It's very rare that you see a player play 162 games a year like Prince Fielder did in 2009. Sometimes guys just need a day off for a mental break or to rest a sore body part. That is where Mark Kotsay steps in. Like Craig Counsell, you are confident that could play every day but you don't want him too because that means one of our outfielders is down for a long amount of time. But given our outfield depth/versatility in both the minor and major leagues, I don't see Kotsay getting as much playing time as Counsell. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Chris Narveson (13 of 25)

Brewers starter Chris Narveson was pretty good last year as the #5 starter as long as you take away the 1st inning. But you can't take the 1st inning out of his stats much like you can't take this headache out my head that was the result of a long night of drinking. You have to take the good with the bad when evaluating something overall. The problem with Narveson was that he almost never escaped the 1st inning without allowing a couple of runs, which often put his team in a hole that was difficult for them to dig out of. I can handle 1 or 2 runs, but when you give up a Gentleman's 2 runs (which on paper equates to at least 4 runs) then I have a problem. Here's hoping that he corrects that problem because outside of that he's a pretty solid back of the rotation pitcher. But one of the good things about his 1st inning struggles is that he gives the fans more time to hang out in the parking lot tailgaiting before the game. I like to try to get in by the start of the game (although that rarely happens when I'm drinking) but on games that Narveson is starting I know that I can wait until the bottom of the 1st inning because no one wants to see their starter get hit around in the opening frame of the game. Yeah man! No one wants to see that shit! So come on Narv-dog, figure that shit out so the offense doesn't have to bail you out big time every game.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day and I stayed out until bar close with my best buddy Mike Bates. I got about 3 hours of sleep and I have to work at 9:30am, which is in about an hour as I am writing this. So I don't really fucking feel like saying anything else about Narveson that you already know. He's a #5 starter. There's nothing really special about him or else he's have a higher slot in the rotation. But every team needs one, and if our starting 4 get healthy (which is a frustrating thing to think about now that Marcum tweaked his shoulder and Greinke as mentioned will already miss the start of the season) he is a nice compliment to the pitching staff every 5 days. I knew going into this that I would have nothing to say about Chris Narveson, which is why I filmed the video that you are about to watch. Suffice to say I could have just posted this video and not typed a damn word here. In my opinion it's that good.

So there you go. I know that you wonder about me sometimes. Once I get the rum in me strange things happen. But if that rum gives me to idea to wave a pirate flag and talk like a pirate then so be it. If that is the consequence for drinking then I'll be a jolly fellow and suffer those consequences every single time. And speaking of suffering, I refuse to suffer through a 1st inning blowup by Chris Narveson this year. If it is my choice (say when I go to the game as a fan instead of being there as an employee) I will chose to enter the game in the bottom of the 1st inning so I don't have to witness Narveson's first inning problems. But one thing that I can't chose is this stat line (which doesn't make any sense because it is my prediction and I am the only one who is choosing this shit. Leave me alone I'm tired and I'm pissed off I have to work today. I just want to fucking sleep all day):

10-13 record, 4.85 ERA, 174 innings pitched, 133 strikeouts and once again he will hear his name shouted Pirate style from the left field bleachers by yours truly. NAAAAAARRRRVESSSSSSON!

I don't really give a shit about Chris Narveson. No offense man. I'm sure that he's a hell of a guy in real life but he's one of the minor pieces of this puzzle and he's not vital to our success this year. One could make that same argument about the next player on the 25 man roster, the one and only Craig Counsell. But I would argue that he's extremely important to our success in 2011, so that is an argument worth having. Aside from improving the pitching staff I said that the next most important thing was resigning Craig Counsell. Either Doug Melvin was listening to me (at Miller Park I do work at the sections right in front of his suite on the Club Level so who knows) or he understands the role Counsell plays on this team. Every team needs a savvy veteran with post-season and World Series experience, and Counsell is able to bring that to the table. When we get back to the playoffs this year he will then play a pivotal role in most people's eyes, but I think that he has already started doing that in Spring Training. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Randy Wolf (12 of 25)

There's not a whole lot that I can say about Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Randy Wolf, so once again get ready for a novel chronicling his up and down 2010 season and his future as a member of the starting rotation. One had every right to worry that Wolf was the second coming of Jeff Suppan, or maybe even Suppan put on a wolf mask and "played Wolf" if you will. His 3 year contract at a little over $9 million a season was looking really bad in the first half of the season. How bad? Just about as bad as Wolf's t-shirt in this picture. Seriously, where the hell did he pick that shit up? I hope he didn't get it at Spencer's Gifts at the mall because that would make me put him in the same category as a preteen that thinks beer is a laughing matter. He probably bought it then hung out at the food court with his buddies, eating an Auntie Annie's pretzel and drinking an Orange Julius while waiting for his Mom to come pick him up. You might be assuming that I was talking about Wolf when he was 13 years old and this shirt still fits him as an adult because he is in excellent physical shape. Nope. This happened last fall when the 34 year was back home during the offseason. He's still getting rides from his mother and he's not allowed to stay out past 9pm on a school night. I remember watching him awkwardly interacting with girls when I chaperoned his 8th grade dance last year. I wanted to be the wise mentor and give him some pointers, but it was too much fun watching him trying to figure out where to put his hands on the girls during the slow dances. Eventually he figured it out, but every time she winced when he stepped on her toes Pat Finley and I had a good belly chuckle.

Randy Wolf was signed to be the veteran presence that would eat innings and provide stability in the rotation. Where have we heard that before? Oh yeah, we heard it about every single veteran pitcher that we have ever signed. And for the most part, none of them have worked out. And although Wolf struggled mightily during the middle parts of the season he rebounded quite nicely and finished with a 4.13 ERA and 215 innings pitched. Sure it's not nearly as nice as the 3.23 ERA that he had in 2009 with the Los Angeles Dodgers, but then again Miller Park is hardly the pitcher's park that Dodger Stadium is. It's not even close, but you can expect that ERA to climb a little bit when he pitches the majority of his games in a hitter friendly ballpark which Miller Park is known to be. Your expectations of Randy Wolf in 2010 shouldn't have been very high. If they were then you were kidding yourself and you probably did the same thing with Jeff Suppan.

And that's why you hate yourself and you cry in your bed alone at night. It's not Wolf and Suppan's fault that your wife/girlfriend left you, it's yours. If you are pointing figures, point it at the man in the mirror and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson. Michael's not into you even though you think that you are hot. Are you a 9 year old boy? If you are you definitely shouldn't be reading this shit. Go to school or go to bed you little bastard. And why are we even worried about Michael Jackson? That dude is dead. I don't care if he came back as a Zombie in the Thriller music video. That was a work of fiction and it is not real, despite how real director John Landis made it look. But why the hell are we talking about that? Because it's 7:49 AM on St. Patrick's Day and I've already started drinking despite the fact that I have to go to work today? Nope, despite that it is the truth. No I did it because John Landis has a connection with Wolves, which is somehow a way to connect that last derailment with Wolves of the Randy persuasion.

Landis directed the fantastic 1981 horror / comedy flick "An American Werewolf in London" which is one of the quintessential 80's classics. But once again, what the hell does that have to do with Randy Wolf? His followers have been known as the Wolfpack and I suppose that I would call myself a member of that pack. Kevin and I wanted to don wolf masks and howl whenever he struck out an opposing batter, but the sombrero thing ultimately won out. We could have done both, but sometimes it's just not right to look like a hot mess of randomness. If I happen to find a cheap wolf mask at Bartz's or some other costume store I will think about picking one up and wearing it in the leftfield bleachers on the days when Wolf is starting. I know that Kevin will join me but I doubt that it will catch on despite the fact that he had wolfpack members when he pitched for Philadelphia. Now the sombrero on the other hand, is an item that will sweep through the Miller Park leftfield bleachers before rapidly consuming every man, woman and child in this world. They can try to fight it but in the end it will be futile to resist.

My wolfpack changes from time to time as members of it grow up and start wolfpacks of their own. I used to consider Aaron and Mike as members of said wolfpack but their have branched out and married women and created babies to strengthen their numbers in the fight against all other rivals that threaten our existence. So where my wolfpack used to be greater it stands now at 4. I know that cousin Kevin is by my side and Timmy and Colleen will run with me if they are not out running errands. But for this video I asked my friend Aaron to join me in discussing Randy Wolf because his opinion on the Brewers #3/4 starter is a hell of a lot different than mine is. Let's just say that he likes Randy Wolf just about as much as I like sobriety.



I will let everybody have a say on topics like this which is why I encourage all of you to sit down with me and discuss the 25 players on the Brewers Opening Day roster. It's obvious by my love for the Brewers that I am a total homer and I overvalue all of our players, leading to some ridiculous predictions for the 2011 season. Sometimes reality has to step in the form of a friend who doesn't think as highly as I do. Aaron for one doesn't care for Randy Wolf and thinks that he will only win 6 games this year. He's going to at least double that because now he is pitching in the spot of the rotation where he should have pitched last year but couldn't because of the lack of talent in front of him. Randy Wolf is not a #2 pitcher, despite the fact that he pitched in that spot in the 2010 rotation. With the acquisition of Greinke and Marcum he can be dropped down to where he belongs at #4 although he might pitch in the #3 spot if manager Ron Roenicke wants to split up his lefties (with the other lefthander being Chris Narveson).

No matter if he is the #3 or #4 starter (with Greinke missing the first few weeks of the season Wolf will start the 3rd and final game in the series against the Cincinnati Reds) Wolf will have a solid year. I'm not looking for him to set the world on fire but I am asking him to be consistent and basically be a .500 starter. Because that is all that we need him to be and in essence that is the reason why we signed him in the first place. So it will be no big shocker to me when he puts up these kind of stats in 2011:

4.11 ERA, 11-10 record, 207 innings pitched, 149 strikeouts, best Brewers player of the late 90's/early 2000's, 3 time NFL MVP, Superbowl Champion and future Hall of Famer. Like the Blessed Holy Trinity of Christianity, Randy Wolf is Three people in one.

Randy Wolf may have been bumped down to where he belongs in the starting rotation with the additions of Greinke and Marcum, but Chris Narveson is back where he has been and should be - the #5 staaaaaartaaarrr. I like Narveson a lot because if you say it like a pirate would you would emphasize the arrrrr and growl a lot when you say it. Which is exactly like I did when I made the video talking about him. Hopefully you have enjoyed the videos that I have made thus far, but I guarantee you it doesn't get any better than the one about Chris Narveson. After many rum punches I thought it would be a good idea to commandeer a playground structure and waive a pirate flag. And it really was a great idea. You're gonna love my video about Narveson, but you have to come back tomorrow to check that shit out. I wish that I could talk like a pirate every day and be accepted by my peers, But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Shaun Marcum (11 of 25)

I'm going to try and decrease the amount of content because now is about the time in this series when the articles should be getting shorter. And for all parties involved this is a good thing. Trust me, I'm as tired of writing them as you are tired of reading them. So why continue? Because there are 25 men on the Opening Day roster (not 11) and rehab is for quitters. But it takes too much time to write these. That's time that I could be out at the bars picking up drunk chicks, dumpster diving for used textbooks, coming up with conspiracy theories about why George Lucas changed it so that Greedo shot first and sending out a police search unit to look for Sinbad's career. After all, he was so awesome in Houseguest. But talking Brewers baseball is more important that any of that shit, so I must continue.

So for now I will concentrate on new Brewers pitcher Shaun Marcum, who was acquired in a trade from the Toronto Blue Jays for minor league 2nd base prospect (and former 1st round pick) Brett Lawrie. It is no secret that the Brewers have been able to draft and develop offensive players. Take for example - Fielder, Weeks, Braun, Hart, Lucroy, Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain and the man who wins games Bill Hall. Here are the pitchers they've drafted and developed - Yovani Gallardo, Manny Parra and Mitch Stetter. Quite a difference, eh? So when your strength is offense and you need pitching, the easiest way to do that is to flip the offense for pitching in a trade. Most people (including me) thought that Prince Fielder would be the one to go, so when Lawrie was traded for Marcum straight up I knew two things instantly - the Brewers were confident that they could sign Rickie Weeks to a contract extension and they were keeping Prince Fielder in 2011. And that is exactly what happened.

In my opinion the Shaun Marcum trade was the steal of the offseason. And one that flew too far under the radar. I really didn't care for Brett Lawrie in the first place, so I gladly said goodbye to him. Marcum had pitched the last 5 years (although he did miss the 2009 season recovering from Tommy John surgery) with the Toronto Blue Jays in the AL East, meaning that he was going up against offensive powerhouse teams like the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays on a regular basis. And in the last few years he posted a spectacular ERA considering the talent he was facing: 2007 - 4.13, 2008 - 3.39 and 2010 - 3.64. If he can put up those numbers in the AL East he's going to have a field day in the NL Central. I don't normally like to sell teams short, but you can't tell me that the NL Central teams Houston Astros, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Cardinals and Cincinnati Reds compare with the previously mentioned AL East teams (including the Baltimore Orioles). The AL East is just a better division, and nothing says it better than the fact that the Toronto Blue Jays finished with a 85-77 record and finished 4th, 4TH MIND YOU, in the division. Tampa Bay (96-66) finished 1st, New York (95-67) was 2nd, Boston (89-73) was 3rd and Baltimore cried alone in the basement with a 66-96 record.

There is no reason to believe that he won't continue the trend of pitching with a sub-4 ERA this year, and it should improve because the NL Central has more teams (and more weaker teams at that) and he's facing a pitcher in the lineup instead of a DH. Granted more pitchers are starting to hit better (and the Brewers pitching staff is a good example of that) so you can't totally count them out, but you just can't compare one of the best hitting pitchers like Yovani Gallardo and his .254 batting average, 4 HRS, 10 RBIs to the best DH Vladimir Guerrero and his .300 AVG, 29 HRs and 115 RBIs. Granted that's a bit of a stretch, but even the worst DH is a better hitter than the best pitcher. So look for his numbers to improve in the National League.

When Timmy and I got our picture taken with him at the Brewers on Deck event in January, he asked us what was with the Sombreros. I refused to explain why we were wearing them and just told him that it was our thing. And then I teased and told him to look for us in the left field bleachers. I already mentioned that I wear a sombrero because I have pride in my new native land of Mexico, but other people in our gang wear it because the Sombrero is the symbol of the Revolution. And since Marcum is new to Milwaukee, he's on a need to know basis, and right now he doesn't need to know. But if all goes according to plan, there will be so many sombreros in the left field bleachers by season's end that he will not be able to ignore it. No one will be able to avoid the Revolution. Since I still don't know too much about Marcum except for what I think he will do in the NL Central, the Back Alley Burners decided to sing a song about him instead of swearing a lot and making a lot of noise in a public space.



The Shaun Marcum trade was overshadowed by the Greinke deal that went down 2 weeks later, but I would almost go so far as to say Marcum would have the better year. Greinke is the more talented pitcher, but with Marcum slotted in the #3 spot or possibly even the #4 if Roenicke decides to split up the lefties he will be facing weaker competition which will allow him to win more games. I already said Greinke would win 14 games with a 3.13 ERA, so I can't really can't say that honestly. But I can say that Marcum will put up a stat line similar to this:

15-10, 3.42 ERA, 161 strikeouts, 191 innings pitched and be the solid pitcher in the middle of the rotation that we always wished Dave Bush would be.

The best part about bringing in Greinke and Marcum is that it improves our biggest weakness from the last two years - our starting pitching. But the fallout from getting those 2 top of the rotation pitchers is that it bumps everyone else down to where they belong. You know how I feel about Gallardo as the future ace, but right now he's really just a #2, which is where he will pitch in 2011 behind Greinke. And last year the biggest mistake was having Randy Wolf pitch in the #2 spot. He's a #3 on a bad team and a #4 on a good team, which is exactly where he should be this year. Roenicke has said that he didn't want the lefties Wolf and Narveson to pitch back to back against the same team, so he might actually be the #3 starter but at the very least he's down towards the bottom of the rotation where he belongs. Some people still aren't sold on Randy Wolf and it will take a solid 2o11 from him to assure the fans that he's not the 2nd coming of Jeff Suppan. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Yovani Gallardo (10 of 25)

I love Yovani Gallardo. I'm pretty sure he is one of the reasons why I decided to become a born again Mexican. That and the fact that I could wear a sombrero on my head at all times and never be questioned for it. Do you question a Christian for wearing a cross around their neck? Do you scowl at a Jewish man because he didn't take off his Yarmulke when he entered a building? No you don't because that would be considered a hate crime. And for the same reasons I am allowed to wear a sombrero whenever I see fit. I can wear it to sporting events. I can wear it at family parties. And I can also wear it when I am selling bags of oranges on the street corner or when I am begging for change. See everybody loves sombreros, and if someone says that they don't love them then they are lying to you. Then that person is not your friend because friends don't lie to you except when it is on purpose. Well sometimes you might lie because you are embarrassed of what the truth will reveal about you, and sometimes you lie to screw over your buddy. But I will never lie about my love for sombreros and Yovani Gallardo.

I spent the majority of my life as an American until I one day woke up and discovered I was living a lie. See I love things from Mexico. I love burritos, mariachi bands, maracas, Aztec ruins, smuggled drugs and guns, migrant workers, salsa, silly putty, flame retardant material, a 5.4-liter DOHC (dual overhead cam) V8 engine from a 2005 Shelby Mustang GT500, ceramic plates, lithium batteries, brass knuckles, ponchos, jet skis, San Dimas paper thin walls, cotton candy makers, knee high socks, methamphetamine, Lynyrd Skynyrd '93, jump ropes, Speedy Gonzalez and of course - Jello. Where would we be without Jello? Even if you just ate 3 Meximelts and a Chalupa Supreme there's always room for Jello. But what does this have to do with Yovani Gallardo and baseball? I'm about to make a loose connection if you stop yanking my chain holmes.

The Golden Sombrero is a slang term in baseball to describe a batter who has accomplished the inglorious feat of striking out 4 times in one 9 inning game. In a regulation game a batter will usually get 4 plate appearances and if they strike out 4 times then they had a ridiculously awfull night. The strikeout is the least productive at bat because nothing positive can come from it. When you hit that ball into play you at least give the defender a chance to misplay the ball and you wind up on 1st on an error. Or you could ground or fly out and the runner advances up a base on the play, resulting in a productive out. Yes, for those of you that are knowledgeable on baseball, there is a scenario where you can strike out and still reach base. But enough of that. Again, what's the connection between this shit and Gallardo? He is the only pitcher on the staff capable of giving one of the opposing batters the Golden Sombrero. And not just because he is Mexican. In the last two seasons (the only 2 of his 4 where he pitched for a complete season) he had 200 or more strikeouts. In 30 some odd starts a year, that means he averages about 7 strikeouts per game. I don't know offhand if he has done it to a batter, because the Golden Sombrero stat has yet to be added to MLB's official statistical database. But when the Revolution begins it will be, even if in this connotation the sombrero is being used to describe something negative. But we, the members of Wearing a Sombrero Facebook Community page, welcome all uses of the sombrero because that means it is relevant in our daily lives and it is slowly taking over the world.

Gallardo has the tools, talent, presence of an ace and he also the ability to be cool under pressure when placed in a sticky situation. An elite pitcher may allow a couple of runners to reach base in an inning, but then they also know how to get out of it without the runners scoring. That is the difference between good and great. Pure skill does have a lot to do with it because you either have it or you don't, but to be a top pitcher you also need to have the other intangibles as well. Gallardo is still only 25 years old, and most baseball analysts will tell you that his best years are still in front of him. And this is a guy who in 2009 had a 3.73 ERA, 204 strikeouts and held opposing batters to a .219 AVG. As you can obviously see this isn't the stat line of an ace as a lot of people are quick to point out. So I guess that Gallardo could better be described as a future ace, or an ace in the making. But for reasons including that fact that we are both Mexican (he having been born there and me having been born there again), he was drafted and developed by the Brewers, he has been the #1 pitcher the last few years and he doesn't have mental problems like Zack Greinke are reasons why I want Gallardo to remain in the #1 spot in the rotation.

One of the other aspects of Gallardo's game is what he can do with the bat. In 63 at bats last year, he had a .254 AVG, 16 hits, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs and an OBP of .329. Granted it is in fewer at bats, but that's better than some of the regular everyday position players. Basically that means on days when he pitches there is no black hole in the lineup (unless you count Carlos Gomez... zing!) and you can't assume that the pitcher is going to make an out. You all know that in the National League the pitchers bat, and for the entire 2010 season there were 12 homeruns hit by pitchers and Gallardo hit 4 of them. He personally accounted for 1/3 of homeruns hit by pitchers! That's something special to have on a team. I remember a game (I think it was against the Pittsburgh Pirates) where the Brewers won 1-0 and Gallardo pitched like 8 innings and hit the homerun that was the only scoring in the game. I know defense is a factor, but that day he pretty much did it all himself. And those are just a couple of reasons why I'm glad that Gallardo, and not Greinke, is starting on Opening Day.



Now that you've accepted the fact that I am a born again Mexican, I am now authorized to predict what Gallardo's 2011 season will look like. Had I not taken the test and passed, I would have had my sombrero taken away from me from the Mexican Sombrero Association. The MSA is a newly formed group that regulates who and who cannot wear a sombrero. And unless you join me in adopting Mexico as your new homeland, you will probably have the MSA knocking on your door. And they don't take no for an answer. If you are wearing a sombrero and they ask if you are Mexican, make sure you say Si and you mean it. Don't lie. The MSA doesn't care for impostures who lie and masquerade as a Mexican without actually being one. That is uncalled for. But this is what I am calling for Gallardo to do in 2011:

18 -8 record, 2.92 ERA, 211 strikeouts, 208 innings pitched, .242 batting AVG, 3 HRs, 12 RBIs and able to wear a sombrero whenever he wants because he is a pure Mexican, not born again like some of us. Oh what I wouldn't give to be Yovani Gallardo...

Yovani Gallardo is Mexican, I am a born again Mexican and new Brewers pitcher Shaun Marcum is an American, though he did have the chance to be a born again Canadian. I personally do not know if he took the test in the last 5 years where he played in Canada as a member of the Toronto Blue Jays. If I do have the chance to have a sit down with him I will ask him that question. Because if there is ever anything that is on the same level as being a born again Mexican it's being a born again Canadian. In fact, the next time that I make my way to our neighbor to the North I will see if I can take the test. Think about it. I will have been born American, born again Mexican and born again Canadian. I will become the representative of North America when the Trifecta is complete! And then peace will sweep the continent as we become one, and MexiCanAmerica will be such an opposing force that countries will lay down their arms and nuclear weapons and the entire world will live in harmony. You may laugh now, but unless you become born again Mexican and Canadian you will not be able to share in the glory. I'm talking to you Shaun Marcum. Repent now! Change your life! I will personally tutor you in the ways of a MexiCanAmerican in the 2 years you are here in Milwaukee, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Zack Greinke (9 of 25)

New Brewers starting pitcher Zack Greinke is the talk of the offseason. When he was acquired from the Kansas City Royals in exchange for Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain, Jake Odorizzi and Jeremy Jeffress I was upset at first. Mostly because I really liked all 4 of those young players and I was looking forward to their contribution to the team. The more that I thought about it the more that I loved it though. If there was one thing that had been holding us back in the last few years it was pitching, so Greinke would not only be a significant upgrade, but he instantly became the best pitcher on our team. No other pitcher on this team has won a Cy Young award, given to 1 pitcher in each league who is voted to be the best. Greinke won that award in 2009. I'm a little worried though because all of his other years with the Kansas City Royals are average. Nothing stands out from them. Since he has pitched his entire career in the American League thus far, I really have no personal opinion on him when it comes to his baseball skills and talent besides the numbers. Although I am a fan of baseball in general, I put so much time and effort into watching and knowing everything Brewers that it often doesn't leave any leftover time for following other teams and players. So then I look like a complete dumb ass when I'm trying to sound educated on guys like Greinke, Marcum and Kotsay who came to our team from the American League. So while I certainly won't ask you to stop reading, just make sure you know that I have no freaking idea what I am doing anymore. 10 articles in of 25 and I've already lost it. Who would've thought?

In most people's minds he is the ace of the pitching staff. The #1 head honcho. The losing streak slump buster. The go to guy. The big cheese. The HOT, STINKING CHEDDAR! If I go by stats alone I would say that (Cy Young year aside) he is right on the same level as Yovani Gallardo. So I don't know why he was appointed the Opening Day starter. Gallardo should have gotten the ball that day based on past performance with the team. And although some people will argue that based on Gallardo's stats he too is no ace of a pitching staff, those who have watched him pitch every time out know that he has all of the intangibles that add to the talent that puts him in the same group as the top pitchers in the league. The acquisition of Greinke was a big deal and I understand that the Brewers satisfied their offseason need for pitching and built their marketing campaign for 2011 around this guy. I get it. But I also think that in focusing on Greinke you really are hating on Gallardo, which isn't right. But for the time being, all of that is a moot point thanks to "Air" Greinke breaking a rib playing basketball during Spring Training, and he will open the season on the DL.

"Zack the Glide" Greinke is a real enigma as a person. He suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder, no naturally I shouldn't make fun of him for being a little awkward, right? Have you forgotten who I am? I make fun of everyone because I am an asshole and no one is exempt. I'm all for him shying away from the media, not wanting to answer questions, not talking to his teammates, not goofing in the clubhouse or all of that other stuff that he doesn't want to do because it annoys him. That's fine. I only care about his on the field performance because in the end that is what matters the most. Especially because we paid such a high price with 4 young players to get "Dr. J" Greinke for the next 2 years. And he has already been labeled the savior of this woeful pitching staff. Yeah I excited too when the Brewers actually did some something to improve that didn't include the signing of some retread like Doug Davis, and "Magic"Greinke certainly has the potential to be the best pitcher on this team in the 2011 season. But then he has to go ahead and something stupid like playing basketball during Spring Training and falls and injures himself. I understand that accidents happen and he could have as easily fallen had he been back home in Kansas City on a patch of ice this winter. But those kind of things can't be avoided. Getting hurt playing basketball can be avoided if you don't play basketball. You are a baseball player and once the season starts you have to focus your training, exercise routines and conditioning around being ready to start the baseball season. Besides, who the hell plays basketball so hard (in a pick-up game no less) that they fall down and break their fucking ribs?

While it still really pisses me off that "Big Dog" Greinke injured himself and will not open the season on the 25 man roster and will not pitch on opening day, I have to at least admire what kind of competitor he is. Him going all out in a meaningless basketball game at least shows that he wants to win and will stop at nothing to do so. We need that kind of competitive fire out on the baseball diamond and we can't settle for players who are satisfied with a "quality start" Don't get me started talking about how stupid that stat is, because I don't see anything quality about going 6 innings and giving up 3 runs. Sounds good to you though, right? But that pitcher's ERA would be 4.50, and if that is quality then something is wrong with the expectations we have for being average. You shouldn't settle for that, and it looks like "Tractor" Greinke isn't going to.

Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by intense fear in social situationscausing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. I'll just say that I'm no doctor nor am I a smart person, so what I can be saying is completely wrong. Screw it though , you didn't come here for facts. You came here to look at pictures of Emily Kuchar (now Greinke), the smokin' hot wife of Zack "The Stilt" Greinke. How does a guy who has extreme shyness, is overly self-conscious, has intense phobias of talking to people and being surrounded by crowds land a hot piece of ass like that? It's not right!! It's not fair!! It's unjust!! But he's also an athlete. With lots of money and opportunities. When you have that kind of shit going for you women like this find you. You don't have to do a damn thing. So the guy has everything he wants and now has a chance to lead a pitching staff into the playoffs and capture the hearts and minds of the Milwaukee fans just like CC Sabathia did in 2008. The only question is will the people be willing to look past how weird and awkward he is and focus only on his game? Or will they be like Kevin and I and just constantly make fun of him for things that are both in and out of his control.



No one is exempt. That has been a long standing rule between Kevin and I because no one is perfect and every now and then they need to be knocked down a peg. And Zack "The Admiral" Greinke is no different. And although he certainly didn't start his Brewers career off on the right foot (or is it the right rib?) it looks like he should only miss 2-3 starts in the regular season. But if this injury plagues him for more time than that (like if it continues into mid or late may) then we're in serious trouble. The Brewers cannot afford to get off to a slow start in 2011, and the sooner that a healthy "Big Baby" Greinke joins the team, the sooner he can start to put up numbers like this:

14-6 record, 3.13 ERA, 179 strikeouts, 190 innings, and he's still going to cry and shy away when people confront him, but he's got one hell of a shoulder to cry on.

Zack "The Dream" Greinke may have usurped Yovani Gallardo as the ace of the staff in everyone else's eyes, but he's not fooling me. Greinke may have the talent and be the talk of the town right now, but I'm just not ready to deal with all of the extra bullshit and baggage he comes with until he proves it on the field that none of that shit hampers his baseball game. Gallardo on the other hand has never done anything to distract himself from contributing on the field. Sure, there was that freak injury in 2008 where he tore his ACL and missed the rest of the season. But he rehabbed and started Game 1 against the Phillies in the NLDS that fall, and in the Spring of 2009 he put aside his National pride to compete with the Mexican Team in the World Baseball Classic to focus on being ready for the 2009 season with the Brewers. The man ditched his country for his team! T-E-A-M. That is what is important. So even if "Muggsy" Greinke may have the better numbers this year and be the #1 starter, he's really only a 2 year rental. Gallardo is our guy. We drafted and developed him, and signed him to a longterm contract that will keep him in a Brewers uniform long after "King Zack" Greinke is committed to a mental hospital. Gallardo is my ace and in a weird way I'm glad that he and not Greinke is getting the start Opening Day on March 31st when the Brewers play the Reds in Cincinnati. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Jonathon Lucroy (8 of 25)

There is a slight delay getting this entry for Brewers catcher Jonathon Lucroy posted today. That's because I feel like I'm Bill Fucking Murray (and I know that isn't his middle name) in Groundhog Day because I've already written this article. But somehow, right as I was putting the final touches on it, I highlighted it and deleted all of the text in here. Since Blogger autosaves this shit every few seconds, it saved the draft of nothing versus the 2 hours of work that I already put into this. What I had already written about Lucroy was well thought out, inspirational, had plenty of anecdotes and factual data to support my claims and it was devoid of most humor. That is because the catching position is no joke. I'd rewrite that article but I can't anymore because I'm drunk now. And I'm I'm pissed off. So what you are going to get is me trying to retell that story through blurry angry eyes, so strap on your pads, grab your mask and glove, and get behind the plate because I'm going to throw you some fastballs and the occasional curveball in the dirt.

The main reason that I like Jonathon Lucroy is because I like them young. Not like illegal or anything. I'm no pedophile and you don't have to alert Chris Hansen of Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" and have them arrest me at some strangers house and seize my hard drive. You might have to alert Dutch, Dillon and Blain if Rickie Weeks starts wandering around the Central American jungles, but that's a completely different version of "To Catch a Predator." I wasn't exactly a ladies man in junior high or highschool, which may be one of the reasons I like people of a certain age. For some reason that even a psychiatrist probably can't even explain I tend to hang out with people a whole lot younger than me and I suppose I'm attracted to that demographic as well. But before you go locking up your daughters so I can't ruin their lives like I ruined mine, just know that I'm all talk and no action, which is why I will die alone in 10 years instead of living until I'm in my 90's surrounded by children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and my loving wife. But this isn't about how sad and pathetic my so called "Living the Dream" life is, this is about Jonathon Lucroy, who I may or may not be attracted to.

The catching position is the most important one on the field because he is similar to the quarterback in football - he calls the plays, sets up the players on the field and he controls the pace of the game. The catcher never gets any credit for what they do. If a pitcher does well he gets the recognition, but if he does poorly he often gets blamed as well. Some of that responsibility should fall on the catcher's shoulders as well. And Lucroy has the responsibility of turning around a pitching staff that has been ranked at the bottom of the league for the past 2 seasons. But he is going to get some help. A lot of help. New additions like Zack Greinke, Shaun Marcum and Takashi Saito plus returning pitchers like Gallardo, Narveson and Axford that have another year of experience should make his job a little easier. But it still is a monumental task to be a catcher. It's a lot more than catching the ball and throwing it back to the pitcher. Hell Rube Baker in Major League II couldn't even do that shit. So what kind of shit does Lucroy need to do besides squatting behind the plate? Let me try to tell you without boring you to death.

Think of all the things that a catcher needs to know. First off they need to know everything about their own pitchers. How hard they throw, what their command is like, how many innings can they pitch before they start to tire, where they like to throw the ball, how quick is their delivery to the mound when there is a runner on base, how they like to pitch a certain player, how they are in day games versus night games and home games versus away games, how much experience do they have in pressure situations and countless others that I could list if I didn't have to get up and mix another drink. So once that he has scouted all of his own players, he then needs to learn about the opposing batters so that he knows what pitches to call in every situation that could occur. Does a player constantly swing at a high fastball like Prince Fielder? Or do they flail at a slider low and away like Corey Hart does? Lucroy needs to know these things about players. And before I put all of this pressure on the catcher, the pitchers should know these things as well so that either players aren't all alone on their respective islands (the pitching mound and home plate). That is a whole lot of knowledge to acquire and tons of studying, reading reports and watching video. I went to college for 7 years and put all that learning shit behind me when I got my diploma in the mail (I didn't show up to my Graduation Ceremony, or else I would have said when my diploma was handed to me on stage) so I can't imagine what they go through. But if your job depended on knowing stuff like that, then I guess I could study too. Especially if $400,000 - $15 million annual salary was on the line based on my performance. Then I would study my ass off.

And that's paragraph was only about calling the game and it was abbreviated at that. A catcher also has to worry about his offense and defense. When it comes to catching, there are few of them who are offensive studs, so bare minimum a catcher needs to have good defense and be able to block a ball in the dirt. A strong accurate arm and the ability to throw a runner out trying to steal a base is a plus as well. And then anything they bring to the plate offensively is bonus. That is why a catcher usually hits in the #7 or #8 spot in the lineup in front of the pitcher. Sure there are exceptions but for every Joe Mauer, Buster Posey and Brian McCann you have a George Kottaras, Jorge Posada and Kurt Suzuki. But when I was looking over 2010 catcher stats, I noticed that there weren't too many catchers who were absolutely terrible last year (minimum of 100 games caught) so it looks like the offensive game of the catcher is improving. I know that Lucroy would be the first to tell you that he needs to step up his game because he himself has said that his 2010 stat line is not indicative of his talent: .253 AVG, .300 OBP, 4 HRs and 26 RBIs. But the kid is still young and he still has time to improve at the plate. And speaking of being young, I went back to Center Street Park where I played Cub Scout softball to relive some old memories and talk about Lucroy:



Jonathon Lucroy broke the pinky finger on his right hand during blocking drills in the first week of Spring Training and will most likely start the season on the DL. But even though he may not technically be one of the 25 players on the 25 man Opening Day roster, he will be an important part of this team once he is activated. Look for him to catch 4 out of the 5 starters and be the main catcher on this team. And also get ready to love him because he's quite a looker. The next jersey that I'm getting is a Jonathon Lucroy one despite the fact that I still don't own a McGehee or Greinke. Will I look as good as he does? Probably not, but then again I'm used to being really really really ridiculously bad looking. I was an ugly child. I mean when I was born the doctor slapped my Mother! My parent's used to tie a steak around my neck so that the dog would play with me. As a child I was the poster boy for Birth Control!

Hopefully you will have learned a little about the catching position that you may not have known and will never forget. And too bad for you that you also learned a little about my position in life that you didn't know and would like to forget. I could give you a stat line of my life that would show on paper that I am one of the most pathetic people on the planet, but this article isn't about me, it's about Lucroy. Besides no one wants to see that shit anyway. You don't need to see on paper how worthless my life is, you get a good idea of that every day. I certainly do when I look in the mirror. Why just the other day I went to my doctor and I said hey Doc, every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and I wanna throw up. What's wrong with me? And he said I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect. I was a little upset so I went to my psychiatrist and I asked him what was the matter with me. And he says I think you're crazy. So I said Doc if you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. And he says alright, so you're ugly too. That's the story of my life. No Respect. I tell ya I don't get no respect at all.



But I can respect this stat line from Jonathon Lucroy in 2011, even if for Christmas when I got him a BB gun he got me a sweater with a bullseye on the back:

.268 AVG, .320 OBP, 11 HRs, 62 RBIs, 127 games played and respect from the Brewers fans even though they kept the picture of the kid who came with the wallet.

One of the players that will be spending a lot of time with Jonathon Lucroy is newly acquired pitcher Zack Greinke. Like Lucroy he most likely will begin the season on the Disabled List due to a rib fracture and bruising suffered in the beginning of Spring Training playing basketball. Wait, I thought that he was a baseball player? Exactly. So what was he doing playing high impact street ball when he was supposed to be stretching his arm out for the Opening Day start? Only Greinke knows, and he probably won't tell you about it. That's because Greinke doesn't like you and doesn't like talking to people. But that is only scratching the surface of what a complex individual this guy is. I've got plenty to say about him and I'm sure that Cousin Kevin and I can make fun of him for a lot of things he says and does. But is it right to make fun of someone with mental problems? Hell yeah it is, because no one is exempt. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Corey Hart (7 of 25)

Corey Hart burst upon the music scene in 1984 at the age of 22 and took the world by storm with his hit single "Sunglasses at Night." The odd thing was that the song was more popular in the US and climbed higher in the charts there than it did in his native land of Canada. Normally Canadians take care of their own and have a great sense of National pride whenever one of their sons makes it to the big time. Canada has to be proud of something after all, because without Corey Hart, Celine Dion, Rick Moranis and John Candy, Canada is only known as America's hat. Canada is often the subject of folly from Americans who joke about their use of the word eh and their inability to say about (pronounced aboot if you are Canadian.) I for one spent one of the greatest weekends of my life in Windsor, Ontario in my first visit to our neighbors to the North, and I have nothing against Canada. Corey Hart on the other hand owes his post "Sunglasses at Night" career to his homeland because after that iconic hit 80's song he never found that level of success again except in Canada. If you asked me to name another one of his songs I couldn't do it, despite living 1/3 of my life in that decade and being a huge fan of the 1980's. Hell, my two favorite movies are Back to the Future (featuring Canadian Michael J. Fox) and Ghostbusters (featuring Canadian Dan Aykroyd). Let's just say that if I spent more time in the 20tens and now the 20teens worrying about real life things like advancing in my career, getting in shape, falling in love and having babies versus all the time I spend being nostalgic about the 80's, I'd really be living the dream right now. But I sure love me some 80's music. Say what you want, but that's the stuff that really gets me going. And Corey Hart has a part of that I think.

Wait... this isn't about 80's pop star Corey Hart? This is supposed to be about the baseball player Corey Hart who wears his sunglasses in the day time? Ah man. I don't want to talk about Milwaukee Brewers right fielder Corey Hart anymore. At the bottom of the article (and on the right) I have labels than you can click on. Go ahead and click Corey Hart and you will see how much of my life I have wasted writing articles about Corey Hart. For those of you who need The Count from Sesame Street to help you out, let me bring him in for a second to figure this out. 1 article, 2 articles, 3 articles, 4 articles, 5 articles, 6 articles, 7 articles, 8 articles. 8 Corey Hart articles! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I love counting. So Scott, are we going to meet next Saturday for lunch at Noodles and Company? Sure Count, I'll be there at 1. 1! 1 is a good number! It is the easiest number to count to! So I will see you there at 1, I'm counting on it. Ah ha ha ha ha!

That Count sure is quite a character. But he also points out that I too am quite a character. Who writes 8 articles about a person that they supposedly hate? Maybe I'm just jealous that he has a lot of money and I don't. Maybe I'm pissed off because he proved me wrong last year by having a career season. And maybe I'm just secretly in love with him and I channel my feelings into anger and aggression just like you did in grade school when you were mean to the girl that you had a huge crush on. It's probably all of the above, so he were go with another Corey Hart article.

Prior to the 2010 season Hart won his arbitration case following a piss poor season and was given a $4.8 million dollar salary in 2010. And he earned every cent of that $4.8 million. And a lot of fans jumped right back on his bandwagon as he settled into the #2 spot in the lineup and made the NL All-Star team despite not being in the lineup on Opening Day. The reason why that is a big deal is because the All-Star ballots are based on Opening Day lineups and the listed Brewers outfielders for the fans to vote for were Ryan Braun, Carlos Gomez and Jim Edmonds. So Hart made the All-Star team not by the fans vote, but by the voting of his fellow players in Major League Baseball who recognized the fantastic year he was having prior to the All-Star Game. When Hart made the All-Star Team in 2008 as the 25th man as voted upon by the fans, he slipped considerably in the 2nd half of that season, which led to my disdain for Hart as he was completely unreliable as the Brewers made their most important playoff push in 26 years. So I was worried that 2010 would mirror 2008 and once again Corey Hart would let me down and be subject to name calling once again. But in 2010 Corey Hart was no bitch, and he finished the year just as strong as he started it.

I've really exhausted all that I can say about Corey Hart, which is too bad considering that he's going to be around here for a while. In August of this past season, he signed a contract extension that will pay him $8.83 million per year over the next 3 years. Is he worth $8 million a year? That's debatable, but that's the going rate for a corner outfielder who puts up those kind of numbers. Hell, the Washington Nationals gave free agent rightfielder Jayson Werth a 7 year $126 million contract ($18 million a year), and one could argue that Hart puts up very similar numbers. Werth has been more consistent over the past 3 years, but if they end up having the same years (as each other and as they each did in 2010) then Corey Hart's contract will look like a real bargain. I would love nothing more than to see the Corey Hart of 2010 versus the Corey Hart of 2009 playing right field for the Brewers in 2011, but how will that all play out? And what do other people think about Hart? To answer those questions I turned to my good friend and co-worker Mike Wilhelm. He sits in the cube next to me, and when we aren't getting yelled at for talking too much, we are discussing sports. And no player in Wisconsin sports had us debating more than Corey Hart did last year.



Yeah I kind of screwed that one up. Apparently I'm so polarized by Corey Hart even after I've exhausted everything to say that I just keep on talking. I didn't really give Mike a chance to offer much of an opinion, but if you want to have an opinion get your own damn blog my friend! This is my shit! I own this motherfucker! And I guess I'm also not ready to let my love/hate for Corey Hart go, and it really could go any way in 2011. If he has a fantastic season I'll write about how much I hate that I love him, and if he has a terrible season I will write about how much I love to hate him. But for the overall success of this team I do wish that he plays well. Unless I want a player to be cut (like Jeff Suppan) I never wish for one of my players to play poorly. I want nothing more than to see the team win, and it will be easier if Corey Hart puts up numbers like this:

.278 AVG, 26 HRs, 91 RBIs, 21 stolen bases and the subject of many over the cubicle walls debate between Mike and I.

I really hope that Carlos Gomez will produce this year so that he can bat in the #2 spot that Hart occupied most of last year so that Hart can drop down to #6. The top 5 spots in the Brewers lineup ranks in the top 5 in all of baseball but the bottom 4 can sometimes make or break the offensive game on that day. So if Hart can drop down into the lower half and provide some much needed power, speed and RBIs it will help everyone else down there. One player that would definitely benefit from batting with Hart on base would be Brewers catcher Jonathon Lucroy (who will probably bat in the #7 or #8 spot). He was "thrown into the wolves" last year when Zaun went down with a season ending injury. Having to learn the pitching staff and to call games at the major league level while also trying to work on his offense might have been a little daunting for Lucroy, and I for one think he did a hell of a job. He broke his pinky finger on his right hand in the first week of Spring Training and he may start the season on the Disabled List. Although he then wouldn't technically be on the 25 man roster on Opening Day, he's going to be a huge part of the team in 2011 so I'm going to do an article about him anyway. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

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