New Brewers starting pitcher Zack Greinke is the talk of the offseason. When he was acquired from the Kansas City Royals in exchange for Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain, Jake Odorizzi and Jeremy Jeffress I was upset at first. Mostly because I really liked all 4 of those young players and I was looking forward to their contribution to the team. The more that I thought about it the more that I loved it though. If there was one thing that had been holding us back in the last few years it was pitching, so Greinke would not only be a significant upgrade, but he instantly became the best pitcher on our team. No other pitcher on this team has won a Cy Young award, given to 1 pitcher in each league who is voted to be the best. Greinke won that award in 2009. I'm a little worried though because all of his other years with the Kansas City Royals are average. Nothing stands out from them. Since he has pitched his entire career in the American League thus far, I really have no personal opinion on him when it comes to his baseball skills and talent besides the numbers. Although I am a fan of baseball in general, I put so much time and effort into watching and knowing everything Brewers that it often doesn't leave any leftover time for following other teams and players. So then I look like a complete dumb ass when I'm trying to sound educated on guys like Greinke, Marcum and Kotsay who came to our team from the American League. So while I certainly won't ask you to stop reading, just make sure you know that I have no freaking idea what I am doing anymore. 10 articles in of 25 and I've already lost it. Who would've thought?In most people's minds he is the ace of the pitching staff. The #1 head honcho. The losing streak slump buster. The go to guy. The big cheese. The HOT, STINKING CHEDDAR! If I go by stats alone I would say that (Cy Young year aside) he is right on the same level as Yovani Gallardo. So I don't know why he was appointed the Opening Day starter. Gallardo should have gotten the ball that day based on past performance with the team. And although some people will argue that based on Gallardo's stats he too is no ace of a pitching staff, those who have watched him pitch every time out know that he has all of the intangibles that add to the talent that puts him in the same group as the top pitchers in the league. The acquisition of Greinke was a big deal and I understand that the Brewers satisfied their offseason need for pitching and built their marketing campaign for 2011 around this guy. I get it. But I also think that in focusing on Greinke you really are hating on Gallardo, which isn't right. But for the time being, all of that is a moot point thanks to "Air" Greinke breaking a rib playing basketball during Spring Training, and he will open the season on the DL.
"Zack the Glide" Greinke is a real enigma as a person. He suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder, no naturally I shouldn't make fun of him for being a little awkward, right? Have you forgotten who I am? I make fun of everyone because I am an asshole and no one is exempt. I'm all for him shying away from the media, not wanting to answer questions, not talking to his teammates, not goofing in the clubhouse or all of that other stuff that he doesn't want to do because it annoys him. That's fine. I only care about his on the field performance because in the end that is what matters the most. Especially because we paid such a high price with 4 young players to get "Dr. J" Greinke for the next 2 years. And he has already been labeled the savior of this woeful pitching staff. Yeah I excited too when the Brewers actually did some something to improve that didn't include the signing of some retread like Doug Davis, and "Magic"Greinke certainly has the potential to be the best pitcher on this team in the 2011 season. But then he has to go ahead and something stupid like playing basketball during Spring Training and falls and injures himself. I understand that accidents happen and he could have as easily fallen had he been back home in Kansas City on a patch of ice this winter. But those kind of things can't be avoided. Getting hurt playing basketball can be avoided if you don't play basketball. You are a baseball player and once the season starts you have to focus your training, exercise routines and conditioning around being ready to start the baseball season. Besides, who the hell plays basketball so hard (in a pick-up game no less) that they fall down and break their fucking ribs? 
While it still really pisses me off that "Big Dog" Greinke injured himself and will not open the season on the 25 man roster and will not pitch on opening day, I have to at least admire what kind of competitor he is. Him going all out in a meaningless basketball game at least shows that he wants to win and will stop at nothing to do so. We need that kind of competitive fire out on the baseball diamond and we can't settle for players who are satisfied with a "quality start" Don't get me started talking about how stupid that stat is, because I don't see anything quality about going 6 innings and giving up 3 runs. Sounds good to you though, right? But that pitcher's ERA would be 4.50, and if that is quality then something is wrong with the expectations we have for being average. You shouldn't settle for that, and it looks like "Tractor" Greinke isn't going to.
Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by intense fear in social situationscausing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. I'll just say that I'm no doctor nor am I a smart person, so what I can be saying is completely wrong. Screw it though , you didn't come here for facts. You came here to look at pictures of Emily Kuchar (now Greinke), the smokin' hot wife of Zack "The Stilt" Greinke. How does a guy who has extreme shyness, is overly self-conscious, has intense phobias of talking to people and being surrounded by crowds land a hot piece of ass like that? It's not right!! It's not fair!! It's unjust!! But he's also an athlete. With lots of money and opportunities. When you have that kind of shit going for you women like this find you. You don't have to do a damn thing. So the guy has everything he wants and now has a chance to lead a pitching staff into the playoffs and capture the hearts and minds of the Milwaukee fans just like CC Sabathia did in 2008. The only question is will the people be willing to look past how weird and awkward he is and focus only on his game? Or will they be like Kevin and I and just constantly make fun of him for things that are both in and out of his control.
No one is exempt. That has been a long standing rule between Kevin and I because no one is perfect and every now and then they need to be knocked down a peg. And Zack "The Admiral" Greinke is no different. And although he certainly didn't start his Brewers career off on the right foot (or is it the right rib?) it looks like he should only miss 2-3 starts in the regular season. But if this injury plagues him for more time than that (like if it continues into mid or late may) then we're in serious trouble. The Brewers cannot afford to get off to a slow start in 2011, and the sooner that a healthy "Big Baby" Greinke joins the team, the sooner he can start to put up numbers like this:
14-6 record, 3.13 ERA, 179 strikeouts, 190 innings, and he's still going to cry and shy away when people confront him, but he's got one hell of a shoulder to cry on.
Zack "The Dream" Greinke may have usurped Yovani Gallardo as the ace of the staff in everyone else's eyes, but he's not fooling me. Greinke may have the talent and be the talk of the town right now, but I'm just not ready to deal with all of the extra bullshit and baggage he comes with until he proves it on the field that none of that shit hampers his baseball game. Gallardo on the other hand has never done anything to distract himself from contributing on the field. Sure, there was that freak injury in 2008 where he tore his ACL and missed the rest of the season. But he rehabbed and started Game 1 against the Phillies in the NLDS that fall, and in the Spring of 2009 he put aside his National pride to compete with the Mexican Team in the World Baseball Classic to focus on being ready for the 2009 season with the Brewers. The man ditched his country for his team! T-E-A-M. That is what is important. So even if "Muggsy" Greinke may have the better numbers this year and be the #1 starter, he's really only a 2 year rental. Gallardo is our guy. We drafted and developed him, and signed him to a longterm contract that will keep him in a Brewers uniform long after "King Zack" Greinke is committed to a mental hospital. Gallardo is my ace and in a weird way I'm glad that he and not Greinke is getting the start Opening Day on March 31st when the Brewers play the Reds in Cincinnati. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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