Friday, March 25, 2011

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Takashi Saito (20 of 25)

I bet you came here looking for Brewers closer John Axford. I'm sorry, but I believe that you have been misinformed. Cheated, swindled, lied to, tricked, defrauded, outwitted, taken for a ride and bamboozled. This is not John Axford. Unless John Axford is a 40 year old Japanese man. Last time I checked he isn't, so today's entry of "25 of 25" is about Japanese reliever Takashi Saito. He was signed in the offseason to provide the veteran leadership void that was left with Trevor Hoffman's departure and eventual retirement. Even if he can't speak English and uses a translator to communicate with his teammates, he can teach by example and show some of these young bucks how to play the game the right way. Truth be told this 41 year old has only been the major leagues for 5 years, but before he came to America Eddie Murphy style he played for the Yokohama Taiyo Whales/BayStars for 13 seasons before heading West to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers. He may seem old in American years, but in Asian years he's only like 25 or some shit. That's because those people are immortal. He's been around since the Ming Dynasty in China from 1368-1644. And for every one of those years he has been entering games and shutting down rallies in the late innings. Since Saito built the Great Wall and invented gunpowder that led to the creation of fireworks, I am forever in his debt. But wait... he's Japanese and I'm talking about Chinese history, Now I'm getting my far East cultures confused. What the hell should I do now? Moving on...

This guy knows how to pitch and he has proven himself over the years to be a guy who gets it done. And with the Brewers having a bullpen mostly full of guys who haven't been there before to have a chance at getting it done, someone needs to give them the light. But Takashi Saito will do them one better. He's gonna SHOW them the light! Look for Saito to be one of the 3 (count 'em 3!) set up men in the bullpen in 2011. Who are the other members of that trifecta you ask? Why they are none other the Mitch Stetter/Zach Braddock combo against the lefties, Kameron Loe when you need the groundball and Saito when you need the veteran who won't waiver in the face of adversity. I am more than confident in his ability to be a shut down reliever

This veteran pitcher has been around the block, and he won't be terrified and run for his life when Godzilla comes storming into town. Saito looks up at that big ass lizard and tells him where he can stick that giant tail of his. Now that's what she said. But what about his translator Kosuke Inaji? What did he say? If I was a translator I know that I couldn't be trusted to relay the correct information to the person I was assigned to. If I was Saito's translator and a reporter asked him how did he feel on the mound today, I would ask him that question. I would fullfil my job as translator in that regard. But after Saito would speak in Japanese, I would address the media with his response, "Today I pitched like a fairy in a short skirt. I frolicked through the meadows with the nancy boys and ran up and down the hill and danced for joy. It was extraordinary." Then the reporters would look at Saito with giant question marks in their eyes and wonder why he would say something like that. And little would he know that I was making that shit up. That's because interpreters hold all the power. And if I was Kosuke Inaji I would always talk shit to Takashi Saito. That's because I am an asshole and that is what I do.



Let's be honest here. John Axford is not going to be perfect this year. He might even hit a couple of bumps along the way and need a few days off to mentally regain himself. And sometimes he just physically can't pitch because he just pitched in 3 consecutive games. So who will close games in his absence? I'm thinking that Saito is the guy. I don't feel like looking up his Japanese stats (mostly because I can't read Japanese) but in his 5 year Major League career he has racked up 97 saves. At an average of close to 20 a year, I feel pretty confident having him as the backup closer. I certainly feel better with him pitching in the 9th versus the other backup LaTroy Hawkins. Now there's a guy I can't trust. And even though I can't understand what Takashi Saito is saying because
Kosuke Inaji is in the bathroom taking a leak, I trust that Saito said he was going to put up these numbers in 2011:

3-2 record, 2.76 ERA, 4 saves, 51 innings pitched and have a better understanding of the English language. By the end of the summer he will know the words Fish Fry, bubbler, Summerfest and raging it.

I mentioned that Saito will close a couple of games and knock down a few saves, but there will still be plenty of opportunities for closer John Axford. In fact there will be at least 40 opportunities for him to run out of the bullpen and finish the games, but how many saves will he record? Is he going to pick up where he left off last year and continue to be amazing? Or will he find out a way to get even better? Heaven forbid he doesn't take a step backwards, but that too is a possibility. The only thing that we do know is until proven otherwise, Axford is the closer. And he better not fail because we have a lot riding on this season. And then there's the small problem that we really don't have a great Plan B. But I believe in Axford and I don't think it will come to that, but am I overly confident and perhaps a little cocky? We'll see when my Axford article is posted tomorrow,
but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookon@hotmail.com

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think we can safely assume he will also know cheese, beer, sausage and Uecker.