Welcome to Pookon's Ill Blog - home of my inner thoughts, creative outbursts and random thoughts. This site contains such original classics as "It's in My Head", "Pickle the Day" and a multitude of other reoccurring features. I'm often a little too raw, truthful and honest at times so proceed with caution.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Mark Kotsay (15 of 25)
I didn't have anything to say about Brewers back-up outfielder Mark Kotsay last night, so I went to sleep. I had night terrors like my brother Timmy does and I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. Even though I dreamnt up some really scary ass shit that I don't wish upon anymore, it still did not provide me with any material to put here today. Even though I woke up this morning and "got inspired" and my mind is now racing with ideas, I still cannot come up with something relevant to say about the Brewers new back-up player. I even put my shirt and pants on backwards Kris-Kross style then walked backwards so that I would be the one backing-up. But since my clothes were on backwards, it looked like I was walking forwards, so I have no way to connect with a backwards person. With the starting players I can go on for hours. That goes with the whole forward thinking aspect. I don't think in the past. That's improbable. I don't live in the past. That's intentional. And I also don't travel back to the past. That's impossible. I don't own or lease one of Doc Brown's DeLorean Time Travel machines. So unless my name is Dr. Sam Beckett and I take a quantum leap back into the past, I cannot backup in time. Sorry for wasting time that neither you nor I can go back and recover, but I felt like I needed to make you understand that I do not know much about the backups, but I know I love them. And that may be, all I need to to know.
So what do people do when they don't know something? I used to ask my Dad because he's pretty book smart. If he doesn't know then I ask my Mom because she's both booksmart and street smart. But since I'm no longer 12 years old and I know other people and have access to the internet, I use the Google on the internet machine that everyone except Chazz Michael Michaels knows how to do. And every time I Google an athlete that I need info / a picture on, I find a picture of their hot wife / girlfriend. And then I get upset and wonder what the hell am I doing wrong where I don't have a hot wife / girlfriend. Then I remember that I am not smart, not good looking, not physically fit, not rich, not professional and not an athlete. So basically I have no chance at all of landing a smoking hot wife / girlfriend. Or any wife / girlfriend for that matter. So I'm just going to get old and die alone because women don't like me. Makes a guy want to turn gay right? But I can't, not because there's anything wrong with being gay, but what's the point of being gay if even guys don't find me attractive. And then there's the small fact that I love women. So whereas Mark Kotsay gets to hit for the cycle with this fine piece of ass, I cozy up to the liquor bottle and cry myself to passing out.
If there was a fight between Zack Greinke's wife Emily and Mark Kotsay's wife Jamie not only would I watch it, but I would also root for Jamie. You saw a picture I put up of Mrs. Social Anxiety and just try to compare her to this fine specimine. To me it's no contest, but then again this may be one of those beauty is in the eye of the beerholder kind of things. Just like Oscar the Grouch lives in treasure that is another man's trash, what I like may not be the same as what other people like. But I do know that Mark Kotsay and I have 2 of the same likes in common - baseball and his wife. I don't know yet if I want to watch Mark Kotsay back-up Braun, Gomez and Hart in the outfield, but I already know that I would watch Jamie Kotsay back that thang up on anything or anyone, though I would say that I want it to be me rather than Mark. But some guys have all the luck and get all of the rewards that come with hitting the jackpot. Although I'm not a winner, at least I still have my health, right? Well not really. But at least I still have my sense of humor!
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