Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Zach Braddock (18 of 25)

I know that you came here expecting a John Axford article. First off let me apologize and also tell you to settle the fuck down. I had written the entire article but I had yet to film the video. You can blame Brodey bailing on me yet again for that one. I will try again tomorrow. So for today we are going to focus on the next player in the bullpen, lefthanded pitcher Zach Braddock. The problem is that the last few bullpen spots are still up for grabs even though we are 8 days from Opening Day. Manny Parra and LaTroy Hawkins might start the season on the DL, and Braddock is having a pretty poor spring with a 9.39 ERA, although he has been pitching better as of late. As the situational lefty in the bullpen (a role that was played to perfection in 2009 by Mitch Stetter, who I will be talking about in a few minutes) in 2010, Braddock was fantastic with a 2.94 ERA over 33.2 innings and 41 strikeouts. Spring Training statistics shouldn't really count for much, but when that's all that you have to go on, you have to make a choice. The way that I see it, 3 scenarios could play out - Zach Braddock makes the team as the lefty in the bullpen, Mitch Stetter makes the team as the lefty in the bullpen and Zach Braddock and Mitch Stetter both make the bullpen because their lefty competition (Manny Parra) starts the season on the DL. It's anyone's guess at this point, but I'm running out of guaranteed 25 man roster players to talk about. So the remaining articles (apart from Axford and Takashi Saito) are all TBA, so I'm left with no choice but to speculate that Braddock will open the season with the team.

If Braddock is on the roster on March 31st then he will be the youngest player on the team at the age of 23. And that made me think. I'm 29 now (30 in less than 2 months) so I started to think about what the hell I was doing when I was 23. In the summer of 2004 I was actually pretty busy working 3 jobs. In fact, it was probably the best summer of my entire life. How can working all the time at 3 different jobs be the best? I'll tell you. It's when those 3 jobs are working at UWM, Miller Park and Alpine Valley. All of my jobs were amazing, and I had some wicked awesome hair at the time. At UWM I got to hang out with my friends and get free food. And Miller Park I got to hang out with my friends and watching baseball games. And at Alpine Valley I got to hang out backstage with my friends and listen to concerts. Plus there were hot chicks all over the place at all 3 jobs that I flirted with all day. This was back before I ballooned out of shape and I was reasonably attractive versus the monster I've become today. Back when I was 23 I was still in college and I was really living the dream. True this was before the World Series of Beer Pong, but it was back when the CHBPL was in it's infancy and it was just a close knit group of friends goofing around. Life was good back then and it seemed like the whole world was in front of me. And I was more than willing to try to take it on.

And then that bastard (remember how I'm supposed to be talking about Zach Braddock?) goes and changes his jersey number in the offseason. How frustrating is that? It means that everyone who bought a #13 Braddock jersey last year now has to go out and purchase a #21 Braddock this year! Jesus man! What the hell? Do you think we are made of money? I can't keep up with you and your meaningless number changes. Pick one and stick with it so I don't walk around town looking like an idiot because my jersey is wrong. Wait a second.... I don't own a Zach Braddock jersey. And neither does anyone else in town. Braddock is the only one rocking that one. And if there happens to be another person in town who owns one, they can afford to buy a new one. Look, if you have a jersey of the situational lefty in the bullpen that means you already have the other 24 players on the roster. And at $149 a pop, your rich ass can buy another one.

So why the hell did I bitch about that anyway? Because I happen to own a Manny Parra #43 jersey. Parra now wears #26. And despite owning more jerseys than there are players on the Opening Day roster, I am nowhere near being rich. Nor will I ever be. I don't know why I'll never be a wealthy man, but I think buying a Manny Parra jersey has something to do with it. Who does that? So as you can see once again I have nothing to say about a player so I said a lot of things about myself instead. But I still had to do a video because I promised a new one every day. My best friend Mike Bates was in town from Northern Minnesota for his son's (my Godson's) baptism, so we went out for St. Patrick's Day. After staying out until bar close we decided to sit down at 3am and try to recount the events of that night instead of talking about Zach Braddock. Because (no offense) who really wants to talk about Braddock?

So that's what we did on St. Patrick's Day, but what will Mitch Stetter or Zach Braddock do in 2011? I feel like both of these pitchers are interchangeable, so it all depends on which one is more effective. Both of them have minor league options remaining, so it wouldn't surprise me to see one get sent down and the other get called up at various times during the season. Mitch Stetter was the man in 2009 and Zach Braddock was the man in 2010, but which one will reign supreme in 2011? It's hard to tell right now because they both have had the same amount of Major League experience and Spring Training numbers are hard to judge. But I could see both of them putting up a stat line like this:

1-1 record, 2.97 ERA, 54 games but only 41 innings, 49 strikeouts and hopefully make a bigger impression on me so I will talk more about them and less about myself next year.

One player that shouldn't have to worry about being sent down to the minors is closer John Axford. I will be talking about him tomorrow, and this time I mean it. I've already made the comparisons to Derrick Turnbow, but did you know he resembles my friend Brodey as well? It's not a great resemblance, but it's in the same way to people say that I look like Jonah Hill. Read all about that and more in tomorrow's "25 Brewers in 25 Days" entry. That is providing that the "Godfather" isn't too much of a local celebrity to hang out with the people who knew him when he was Brodey and what his real name is. He doesn't go by Brodey because his parents were big fans of Chief Martin Brody in the movie Jaws. And it also isn't because they loved Indiana Jones' archeologist friend Marcus Brody. And it also isn't because he loved Brodie from Mallrats when he was in his early teens. None of those guys even spell the name the same. It's an interesting story, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

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