There is a slight delay getting this entry for Brewers catcher Jonathon Lucroy posted today. That's because I feel like I'm Bill Fucking Murray (and I know that isn't his middle name) in Groundhog Day because I've already written this article. But somehow, right as I was putting the final touches on it, I highlighted it and deleted all of the text in here. Since Blogger autosaves this shit every few seconds, it saved the draft of nothing versus the 2 hours of work that I already put into this. What I had already written about Lucroy was well thought out, inspirational, had plenty of anecdotes and factual data to support my claims and it was devoid of most humor. That is because the catching position is no joke. I'd rewrite that article but I can't anymore because I'm drunk now. And I'm I'm pissed off. So what you are going to get is me trying to retell that story through blurry angry eyes, so strap on your pads, grab your mask and glove, and get behind the plate because I'm going to throw you some fastballs and the occasional curveball in the dirt.The main reason that I like Jonathon Lucroy is because I like them young. Not like illegal or anything. I'm no pedophile and you don't have to alert Chris Hansen of Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" and have them arrest me at some strangers house and seize my hard drive. You might have to alert Dutch, Dillon and Blain if Rickie Weeks starts wandering around the Central American jungles, but that's a completely different version of "To Catch a Predator." I wasn't exactly a ladies man in junior high or highschool, which may be one of the reasons I like people of a certain age. For some reason that even a psychiatrist probably can't even explain I tend to hang out with people a whole lot younger than me and I suppose I'm attracted to that demographic as well. But before you go locking up your daughters so I can't ruin their lives like I ruined mine, just know that I'm all talk and no action, which is why I will die alone in 10 years instead of living until I'm in my 90's surrounded by children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and my loving wife. But this isn't about how sad and pathetic my so called "Living the Dream" life is, this is about Jonathon Lucroy, who I may or may not be attracted to.
The catching position is the most important one on the field because he is similar to the quarterback in football - he calls the plays, sets up the players on the field and he controls the pace of the game. The catcher never gets any credit for what they do. If a pitcher does well he gets the recognition, but if he does poorly he often gets blamed as well. Some of that responsibility should fall on the catcher's shoulders as well. And Lucroy has the responsibility of turning around a pitching staff that has been ranked at the bottom of the league for the past 2 seasons. But he is going to get some help. A lot of help. New additions like Zack Greinke, Shaun Marcum and Takashi Saito plus returning pitchers like Gallardo, Narveson and Axford that have another year of experience should make his job a little easier. But it still is a monumental task to be a catcher. It's a lot more than catching the ball and throwing it back to the pitcher. Hell Rube Baker in Major League II couldn't even do that shit. So what kind of shit does Lucroy need to do besides squatting behind the plate? Let me try to tell you without boring you to death.Think of all the things that a catcher needs to know. First off they need to know everything about their own pitchers. How hard they throw, what their command is like, how many innings can they pitch before they start to tire, where they like to throw the ball, how quick is their delivery to the mound when there is a runner on base, how they like to pitch a certain player, how they are in day games versus night games and home games versus away games, how much experience do they have in pressure situations and countless others that I could list if I didn't have to get up and mix another drink. So once that he has scouted all of his own players, he then needs to learn about the opposing batters so that he knows what pitches to call in every situation that could occur. Does a player constantly swing at a high fastball like Prince Fielder? Or do they flail at a slider low and away like Corey Hart does? Lucroy needs to know these things about players. And before I put all of this pressure on the catcher, the pitchers should know these things as well so that either players aren't all alone on their respective islands (the pitching mound and home plate). That is a whole lot of knowledge to acquire and tons of studying, reading reports and watching video. I went to college for 7 years and put all that learning shit behind me when I got my diploma in the mail (I didn't show up to my Graduation Ceremony, or else I would have said when my diploma was handed to me on stage) so I can't imagine what they go through. But if your job depended on knowing stuff like that, then I guess I could study too. Especially if $400,000 - $15 million annual salary was on the line based on my performance. Then I would study my ass off.
And that's paragraph was only about calling the game and it was abbreviated at that. A catcher also has to worry about his offense and defense. When it comes to catching, there are few of them who are offensive studs, so bare minimum a catcher needs to have good defense and be able to block a ball in the dirt. A strong accurate arm and the ability to throw a runner out trying to steal a base is a plus as well. And then anything they bring to the plate offensively is bonus. That is why a catcher usually hits in the #7 or #8 spot in the lineup in front of the pitcher. Sure there are exceptions but for every Joe Mauer, Buster Posey and Brian McCann you have a George Kottaras, Jorge Posada and Kurt Suzuki. But when I was looking over 2010 catcher stats, I noticed that there weren't too many catchers who were absolutely terrible last year (minimum of 100 games caught) so it looks like the offensive game of the catcher is improving. I know that Lucroy would be the first to tell you that he needs to step up his game because he himself has said that his 2010 stat line is not indicative of his talent: .253 AVG, .300 OBP, 4 HRs and 26 RBIs. But the kid is still young and he still has time to improve at the plate. And speaking of being young, I went back to Center Street Park where I played Cub Scout softball to relive some old memories and talk about Lucroy:Jonathon Lucroy broke the pinky finger on his right hand during blocking drills in the first week of Spring Training and will most likely start the season on the DL. But even though he may not technically be one of the 25 players on the 25 man Opening Day roster, he will be an important part of this team once he is activated. Look for him to catch 4 out of the 5 starters and be the main catcher on this team. And also get ready to love him because he's quite a looker. The next jersey that I'm getting is a Jonathon Lucroy one despite the fact that I still don't own a McGehee or Greinke. Will I look as good as he does? Probably not, but then again I'm used to being really really really ridiculously bad looking. I was an ugly child. I mean when I was born the doctor slapped my Mother! My parent's used to tie a steak around my neck so that the dog would play with me. As a child I was the poster boy for Birth Control!
Hopefully you will have learned a little about the catching position that you may not have known and will never forget. And too bad for you that you also learned a little about my position in life that you didn't know and would like to forget. I could give you a stat line of my life that would show on paper that I am one of the most pathetic people on the planet, but this article isn't about me, it's about Lucroy. Besides no one wants to see that shit anyway. You don't need to see on paper how worthless my life is, you get a good idea of that every day. I certainly do when I look in the mirror. Why just the other day I went to my doctor and I said hey Doc, every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and I wanna throw up. What's wrong with me? And he said I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect. I was a little upset so I went to my psychiatrist and I asked him what was the matter with me. And he says I think you're crazy. So I said Doc if you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. And he says alright, so you're ugly too. That's the story of my life. No Respect. I tell ya I don't get no respect at all.
But I can respect this stat line from Jonathon Lucroy in 2011, even if for Christmas when I got him a BB gun he got me a sweater with a bullseye on the back:
.268 AVG, .320 OBP, 11 HRs, 62 RBIs, 127 games played and respect from the Brewers fans even though they kept the picture of the kid who came with the wallet.
One of the players that will be spending a lot of time with Jonathon Lucroy is newly acquired pitcher Zack Greinke. Like Lucroy he most likely will begin the season on the Disabled List due to a rib fracture and bruising suffered in the beginning of Spring Training playing basketball. Wait, I thought that he was a baseball player? Exactly. So what was he doing playing high impact street ball when he was supposed to be stretching his arm out for the Opening Day start? Only Greinke knows, and he probably won't tell you about it. That's because Greinke doesn't like you and doesn't like talking to people. But that is only scratching the surface of what a complex individual this guy is. I've got plenty to say about him and I'm sure that Cousin Kevin and I can make fun of him for a lot of things he says and does. But is it right to make fun of someone with mental problems? Hell yeah it is, because no one is exempt. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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