Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Backup Catcher - Kottaras / Nieves (21 of 25)

I bet you came here looking for John Axford, but like Waldo and Carmen Sandiego before him, you just can't seem to find that guy on this blog no matter how many times and how hard you look. I'm still tweaking that article so I can't post it today, but I for sure will have it tomorrow. I have time to work on it today because it is Saturday, and I don't have shit else to do. But today I will give you the backup catching duo of Wil Nieves and George Kottaras. That's right, 2 backups. And the only reason that there are 2 is because #1 catcher Jonathon Lucroy will start the season on the DL after breaking his pinky early in Spring Training. As soon as he comes off the DL (sometime in the 1st week of April) one of these 2 catchers will be cut or sent to the minor leagues, but that is a decision that will be made when the time comes. For now both of them will be on the 25 man roster on Opening Day. Sorry for getting this article up a little late, and if you are reading this it might not even be finished. I'm going to post this little blurb and the video and constantly add to it throughout the day. I totally forgot how challenging and stressful it is to meet deadlines and to constantly comes up with new ideas and content every day, and to be honest the lack of sleep I've suffered this week has really taken it's toll on me. I slept in until 11 am (I normally wake up around 730am) then I had to run some errands Timmy style and now I'm finally back home at 3pm to post this. So having said that, he's that little intro and the video for the backup catching spot. More content and the stat lines will follow.

Lucroy is expected to play 4 out of every 5 days, meaning that he will start 128 games. That leaves 34 games for the backup. Last year Kottaras was the personal catcher for Randy Wolf and started every game that Wolf did. Because he bridged the gap between the every day catchers Zaun and Lucroy, he played in a total of 67 games last year. For the most part he was unimpressive both offensively and defensively. At the plate he tried so desperately to bat his weight (190 pounds) and finished with a .203 batting average, although he did hit 9 homeruns and had 26 RBIs. And because he also walked 33 times, his on base percentage was .303, which is normally not very good except for the fact that it is 100 points above his average. Hopefully that means if he can bat in the .240 range he would post an OBP of .340 which would be a very good percentage. But that's only speculation, but we don't have to speculate on how bad he is defensively.

He's known more for his bat than his glove, which says a lot about his defense because his bat sucked last year. He's not very good at blocking balls in the dirt and he's absolutely terrible at throwing out baserunners. He only threw out 8 of 44 people stealing a base, resulting in a horrendous 18% success rate. I'd go so far as to say that I could steal 2nd base off of Kottaras, but we all know that it isn't true because I can't even steal someone's identity on the internet without being out of breath. I'm so out of shape that when I walk out to get my mail it measures on the Richter Scale. The pavement cracks when I fall down and I've got more chins than Chinatown. When I go to the beach I'm a lucky man because I'm the only one who gets a tan. So I guess that means I'm the only person who's not running on Kottaras. But what he does have is experience with the pitching staff because he worked with them last year. Based upon that alone he might have the edge over Wil Nieves.

But you still can't count out Wil Nieves from being the backup catcher when Lucroy does return. That's because Nieves is a career backup catcher in the Major Leagues and knows exactly who he is and what his role will be. At the age of 33 (Kottaras is 28) Nieves has been around a while and has seen a lot of action at the Minor and Major League level. Sure the argument can be made that the most games he's ever played in a year is 72 and that he has only 5 years in the big leagues under his belt. But when you consider that in the minors he has played in 929 games (at roughly that 72 games per year) in 13 minor league seasons he has experience catching both young and older players. You can't teach experience, and although Kottaras knows this staff, Nieves has probably seen every kind of pitcher there is just by the sheer volume of games played in all of the levels of baseball. Even though he's an outsider to the organization, he did spend the last 3 seasons with the Washington Nationals so he should have a good idea of how to call a game against the batters of the National League. Plus he should be a good mentor to Lucroy, something that Kottaras cannot do because he and Lucroy are on the same level.

But how about the other aspects of Nieves' game? Offensively he's probably worse than Kottaras. How can you get much worse than a .203 batting average you ask? I'll tell you. Even though he might have a better batting average (.241 average in his 3 years in Washington) he only takes about half as many walks for a .288 OBP which is only 40 points higher. Then you also have to consider that Nieves has no power (5 career homeruns) and averages right around 20 RBIs per year. So basically he's a black hole when he's in front of the plate. That isn't necessarily a bad thing because the other 8 guys in the lineup (yes, I'm even including the pitcher) should be able to produce all of the runs. Nieves is more of a defensive catcher, and he threw out 32% of would be base stealers last year. He also is better at blocking balls in the dirt and staying in front of the ball.

The Brewers are taking a gamble on the backup catching position because it's really a 50/50 shot. Do you bet on black (offense) or red (defense)? You can't bet on both because then you break even every time. Unless you're getting free drinks like in Las Vegas, there's no point to doing that. So who will the Brewers keep when Lucroy comes off the DL - Kottaras or Nieves? For more on that, we go to our correspondent in the field, Scott Reck.



That asshole seems to think that the Brewers are going to keep defense over offense, and for the first time in my life I agree with that portly bastard. The Brewers have plenty of offense, but they aren't a team that is necessarily known for their glovework. I just can't see them adding to a strength at the expense of improving a weakness. So I'm going to go ahead and say that Nieves will be the backup catcher for the 2011 season. But honestly it could go either way. And even though I've made up my mind, the Brewers don't give a shit about what I think and they will do whatever they want with or without my input. So I have no choice but to present a stat line for both players. These are based upon that player being the backup to Lucroy for the entire 2011 season:

Kottaras - .234 avg, 8 HRs, 24 RBIs, 59 games played

Nieves - .225 avg, 2 HRs, 18 RBIs, 54 games played

The backup catcher isn't a very important role on the team. Other than giving the starter the a day off you never see him contribute on the field because a backup catcher will rarely pinch hit. But he spends as much time studying film, reading scouting reports, working with the pitchers and speaking with the coaches as the starting catcher. But you will probably not see that. But you definitely will see closer John Axford jogging to the mound and on this blog tomorrow. You may sometimes notice when a game is lost due to a poor game by the starter, but you for sure notice (it ain't hard to miss!) when a game is lost when the closer blows a save. Hopefully not too much of that happens this year, but it's going to be difficult for John Axford to match his rookie season. I'm one of those who think that he can, but that my friends (for reals this time), is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Takashi Saito (20 of 25)

I bet you came here looking for Brewers closer John Axford. I'm sorry, but I believe that you have been misinformed. Cheated, swindled, lied to, tricked, defrauded, outwitted, taken for a ride and bamboozled. This is not John Axford. Unless John Axford is a 40 year old Japanese man. Last time I checked he isn't, so today's entry of "25 of 25" is about Japanese reliever Takashi Saito. He was signed in the offseason to provide the veteran leadership void that was left with Trevor Hoffman's departure and eventual retirement. Even if he can't speak English and uses a translator to communicate with his teammates, he can teach by example and show some of these young bucks how to play the game the right way. Truth be told this 41 year old has only been the major leagues for 5 years, but before he came to America Eddie Murphy style he played for the Yokohama Taiyo Whales/BayStars for 13 seasons before heading West to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers. He may seem old in American years, but in Asian years he's only like 25 or some shit. That's because those people are immortal. He's been around since the Ming Dynasty in China from 1368-1644. And for every one of those years he has been entering games and shutting down rallies in the late innings. Since Saito built the Great Wall and invented gunpowder that led to the creation of fireworks, I am forever in his debt. But wait... he's Japanese and I'm talking about Chinese history, Now I'm getting my far East cultures confused. What the hell should I do now? Moving on...

This guy knows how to pitch and he has proven himself over the years to be a guy who gets it done. And with the Brewers having a bullpen mostly full of guys who haven't been there before to have a chance at getting it done, someone needs to give them the light. But Takashi Saito will do them one better. He's gonna SHOW them the light! Look for Saito to be one of the 3 (count 'em 3!) set up men in the bullpen in 2011. Who are the other members of that trifecta you ask? Why they are none other the Mitch Stetter/Zach Braddock combo against the lefties, Kameron Loe when you need the groundball and Saito when you need the veteran who won't waiver in the face of adversity. I am more than confident in his ability to be a shut down reliever

This veteran pitcher has been around the block, and he won't be terrified and run for his life when Godzilla comes storming into town. Saito looks up at that big ass lizard and tells him where he can stick that giant tail of his. Now that's what she said. But what about his translator Kosuke Inaji? What did he say? If I was a translator I know that I couldn't be trusted to relay the correct information to the person I was assigned to. If I was Saito's translator and a reporter asked him how did he feel on the mound today, I would ask him that question. I would fullfil my job as translator in that regard. But after Saito would speak in Japanese, I would address the media with his response, "Today I pitched like a fairy in a short skirt. I frolicked through the meadows with the nancy boys and ran up and down the hill and danced for joy. It was extraordinary." Then the reporters would look at Saito with giant question marks in their eyes and wonder why he would say something like that. And little would he know that I was making that shit up. That's because interpreters hold all the power. And if I was Kosuke Inaji I would always talk shit to Takashi Saito. That's because I am an asshole and that is what I do.



Let's be honest here. John Axford is not going to be perfect this year. He might even hit a couple of bumps along the way and need a few days off to mentally regain himself. And sometimes he just physically can't pitch because he just pitched in 3 consecutive games. So who will close games in his absence? I'm thinking that Saito is the guy. I don't feel like looking up his Japanese stats (mostly because I can't read Japanese) but in his 5 year Major League career he has racked up 97 saves. At an average of close to 20 a year, I feel pretty confident having him as the backup closer. I certainly feel better with him pitching in the 9th versus the other backup LaTroy Hawkins. Now there's a guy I can't trust. And even though I can't understand what Takashi Saito is saying because Kosuke Inaji is in the bathroom taking a leak, I trust that Saito said he was going to put up these numbers in 2011:

3-2 record, 2.76 ERA, 4 saves, 51 innings pitched and have a better understanding of the English language. By the end of the summer he will know the words Fish Fry, bubbler, Summerfest and raging it.

I mentioned that Saito will close a couple of games and knock down a few saves, but there will still be plenty of opportunities for closer John Axford. In fact there will be at least 40 opportunities for him to run out of the bullpen and finish the games, but how many saves will he record? Is he going to pick up where he left off last year and continue to be amazing? Or will he find out a way to get even better? Heaven forbid he doesn't take a step backwards, but that too is a possibility. The only thing that we do know is until proven otherwise, Axford is the closer. And he better not fail because we have a lot riding on this season. And then there's the small problem that we really don't have a great Plan B. But I believe in Axford and I don't think it will come to that, but am I overly confident and perhaps a little cocky? We'll see when my Axford article is posted tomorrow, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookon@hotmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Manny Parra (19 of 25)

Brewers pitcher Manuel Elizabeth Parra (born Manuel Alex Parra) is next up in this series even though he for sure will not be on the Opening Day roster. You are probably saying "What the hell?" right now, and you have 2 valid reasons for doing so. First off I've teased for the last 2 days that today would be all about John Axford. I'm going to have to push that back another day. Brodey did come over to film the video but I didn't get time to format that and upload it to my hosting site. So John Axford is going to be featured tomorrow. I'm really sorry about that. I know that you were looking forward to that one because that John Axford is so hot right. John Axford. He's a fan favorite and certainly has more people cheering him on and wishing him well than Manny Parra does. Most people in this town are fed up with Parra and most the most part I can understand why. But as you probably know because if you looked up "individual" in the dictionary you would see a picture of me, I'm not like most people. I still believe that Parra can benefit this team and excel as long as he is put in the best possible position to succeed. And that position has him coming out of the bullpen instead of starting in 2011.

Manny Parra came into Spring Training for the first time in a defined role versus him having to fight for a job and put too much pressure on himself. With the starting rotation set with Greinke, Gallardo, Marcum, Wolf and Narveson, Parra would be the long reliever in the bullpen and be the emergency starter if need be. In 2010 Parra found success coming out of the bullpen as a reliever and mostly likely will never start another game for the Brewers. Unless one of the other starters goes down and there is no replacement for that starter in the minor leagues. With "Air" Greinke's dreams of becoming the Bo Jackson of baseball/basketball we certainly could use Parra in the starting rotation until Greinke's ribs heal. But unfortunately Parra came into Spring Training with an injury of his own (back stiffness / problems) and has only pitched to one batter this Spring (although on the positive side he did strikeout that batter). With 1/3 of an inning of work to his credit, even if he was healthy there is no way he could start the season. He's going to have to go on the DL and build up arm strength and stamina in the minors before making this team and helping them win in 2011.

So if Manny Parra has no chance of making the Opening Day roster, why is he taking one of the 25 spots in my countdown that someone else could be in? Because I rule, I am Lord and maker of this site, Kevin and I already filmed a hilarious video and we like to make fun of him. We started calling him Panny Marra (which was first said by my cousin Tommy if I'm not mistaken) and made the connection to the man-boy Peter Pan. This was not a drunken trip over the words like tacker pattoo was, but more of an insult to a pitcher that acts like a kid on an island full of lost boys and an adult murderer with a hook who wants to slaughter kids. And they call this is a children's story. When Panny Marra comes into a game one of us starts chanting "Panny! Panny! Panny!" and then immediately after the other one shouts "Rufi-ooooooooooooooooooo!" I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a "lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!" on the mound rather than the "boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!" that we currently run out there. Yeah that's right, I picked Rufio over Panny. Even though Panny totally bangarangs Rufio in this scene I would still rather have him lead the Lost Boys into battle even though he tries to shit talk Captain Hook instead of stabbing him when he had the chance. So Rufio went out like a punk bitch when he could have saved the day. But the main reason I choose Rufio over Panny is because I can't stand Robin Williams except in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. But I still am a fan of Panny Marra and I was looking forward to what he could do as a relief pitcher for the entire year.

But even though I like Panny Marra and I want him to do well, no one is exempt and cousin Kevin and I took to the park in the wee hours of the night to make fun of him. I know that I said the Chris Narveson video is the best one, but this takes a close 2nd. The utter ridiculousness and randomness of it separates it from the other 24 that will be here when all is said and done. You know that when you break into an English accent and start talking King Midas things have gone awry and the booze is talking. And that is when I am at my finest. Take a look.

So it got a little crazy there and a little weird. But do you expect anything else when Kevin and I get together and burn words and lyrics. If you've ever listened to the Back Alley Burners (and why the hell haven't you yet?) you know that once we get drunk we randomly come up with lyrics and record in one take, which set us up perfectly for this video. But Panny Marra can't get drunk before he pitches and strikeout the side in one take, so assuming that he recovers from his injury and pitches for the Brewers this year, he will not be nearly as amazing as we are. Instead his stat line will look a little more like this:

3-6 record, 4.41 ERA, 86 innings pitched (mostly as a reliever but he may get 1 or 2 spot starts),
94 strikeouts and maybe one day will learn to fly, defeat Captain Hook and be the pitcher that we all hoped he would be except in a more suitable role.

So instead of profiling a person that for sure is on the 25 man roster and will be a huge factor in the Brewers success in 2011, I chose to waste some time talking about Panny Marra. But tomorrow's article will be no waste of time. I have had a couple of days to refine and for the first time proofread one of my entries and my John Axford article will be the finest one that I've ever written. And now that I have the video to go with it (which was the icing on the cake the entire time) all of the ingredients are in place to bake one seriously delicious cake. Right now we stand 7 days (or a week for the lay person) away from the start of the season, and the final few roster spots are as difficult to predict as it is to say when I am going to settle down and start a family. Ok, nothing is that difficult because I will name those final 7 players but I will never find a woman willing to let me impregnate her. So check back tomorrow for my article on John Axford. It will be as sweet as the last Friday before Opening Day is. You'll see. It will be epic, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

-pookon-

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Zach Braddock (18 of 25)

I know that you came here expecting a John Axford article. First off let me apologize and also tell you to settle the fuck down. I had written the entire article but I had yet to film the video. You can blame Brodey bailing on me yet again for that one. I will try again tomorrow. So for today we are going to focus on the next player in the bullpen, lefthanded pitcher Zach Braddock. The problem is that the last few bullpen spots are still up for grabs even though we are 8 days from Opening Day. Manny Parra and LaTroy Hawkins might start the season on the DL, and Braddock is having a pretty poor spring with a 9.39 ERA, although he has been pitching better as of late. As the situational lefty in the bullpen (a role that was played to perfection in 2009 by Mitch Stetter, who I will be talking about in a few minutes) in 2010, Braddock was fantastic with a 2.94 ERA over 33.2 innings and 41 strikeouts. Spring Training statistics shouldn't really count for much, but when that's all that you have to go on, you have to make a choice. The way that I see it, 3 scenarios could play out - Zach Braddock makes the team as the lefty in the bullpen, Mitch Stetter makes the team as the lefty in the bullpen and Zach Braddock and Mitch Stetter both make the bullpen because their lefty competition (Manny Parra) starts the season on the DL. It's anyone's guess at this point, but I'm running out of guaranteed 25 man roster players to talk about. So the remaining articles (apart from Axford and Takashi Saito) are all TBA, so I'm left with no choice but to speculate that Braddock will open the season with the team.

If Braddock is on the roster on March 31st then he will be the youngest player on the team at the age of 23. And that made me think. I'm 29 now (30 in less than 2 months) so I started to think about what the hell I was doing when I was 23. In the summer of 2004 I was actually pretty busy working 3 jobs. In fact, it was probably the best summer of my entire life. How can working all the time at 3 different jobs be the best? I'll tell you. It's when those 3 jobs are working at UWM, Miller Park and Alpine Valley. All of my jobs were amazing, and I had some wicked awesome hair at the time. At UWM I got to hang out with my friends and get free food. And Miller Park I got to hang out with my friends and watching baseball games. And at Alpine Valley I got to hang out backstage with my friends and listen to concerts. Plus there were hot chicks all over the place at all 3 jobs that I flirted with all day. This was back before I ballooned out of shape and I was reasonably attractive versus the monster I've become today. Back when I was 23 I was still in college and I was really living the dream. True this was before the World Series of Beer Pong, but it was back when the CHBPL was in it's infancy and it was just a close knit group of friends goofing around. Life was good back then and it seemed like the whole world was in front of me. And I was more than willing to try to take it on.

And then that bastard (remember how I'm supposed to be talking about Zach Braddock?) goes and changes his jersey number in the offseason. How frustrating is that? It means that everyone who bought a #13 Braddock jersey last year now has to go out and purchase a #21 Braddock this year! Jesus man! What the hell? Do you think we are made of money? I can't keep up with you and your meaningless number changes. Pick one and stick with it so I don't walk around town looking like an idiot because my jersey is wrong. Wait a second.... I don't own a Zach Braddock jersey. And neither does anyone else in town. Braddock is the only one rocking that one. And if there happens to be another person in town who owns one, they can afford to buy a new one. Look, if you have a jersey of the situational lefty in the bullpen that means you already have the other 24 players on the roster. And at $149 a pop, your rich ass can buy another one.

So why the hell did I bitch about that anyway? Because I happen to own a Manny Parra #43 jersey. Parra now wears #26. And despite owning more jerseys than there are players on the Opening Day roster, I am nowhere near being rich. Nor will I ever be. I don't know why I'll never be a wealthy man, but I think buying a Manny Parra jersey has something to do with it. Who does that? So as you can see once again I have nothing to say about a player so I said a lot of things about myself instead. But I still had to do a video because I promised a new one every day. My best friend Mike Bates was in town from Northern Minnesota for his son's (my Godson's) baptism, so we went out for St. Patrick's Day. After staying out until bar close we decided to sit down at 3am and try to recount the events of that night instead of talking about Zach Braddock. Because (no offense) who really wants to talk about Braddock?

So that's what we did on St. Patrick's Day, but what will Mitch Stetter or Zach Braddock do in 2011? I feel like both of these pitchers are interchangeable, so it all depends on which one is more effective. Both of them have minor league options remaining, so it wouldn't surprise me to see one get sent down and the other get called up at various times during the season. Mitch Stetter was the man in 2009 and Zach Braddock was the man in 2010, but which one will reign supreme in 2011? It's hard to tell right now because they both have had the same amount of Major League experience and Spring Training numbers are hard to judge. But I could see both of them putting up a stat line like this:

1-1 record, 2.97 ERA, 54 games but only 41 innings, 49 strikeouts and hopefully make a bigger impression on me so I will talk more about them and less about myself next year.

One player that shouldn't have to worry about being sent down to the minors is closer John Axford. I will be talking about him tomorrow, and this time I mean it. I've already made the comparisons to Derrick Turnbow, but did you know he resembles my friend Brodey as well? It's not a great resemblance, but it's in the same way to people say that I look like Jonah Hill. Read all about that and more in tomorrow's "25 Brewers in 25 Days" entry. That is providing that the "Godfather" isn't too much of a local celebrity to hang out with the people who knew him when he was Brodey and what his real name is. He doesn't go by Brodey because his parents were big fans of Chief Martin Brody in the movie Jaws. And it also isn't because they loved Indiana Jones' archeologist friend Marcus Brody. And it also isn't because he loved Brodie from Mallrats when he was in his early teens. None of those guys even spell the name the same. It's an interesting story, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - LaTroy Hawkins (17 of 25)

LaTroy Hawkins is old and I wish I could say that his body just broke down last year. That wasn't the case though because he hurt his shoulder and the rest of the body was fine. He tried to rehab it through rest and mall-walking, but he eventually had rotator cuff surgery in August to repair his busted up shoulder. 2010 was a lost year thanks to his shoulder and his numbers weren't pretty. He only pitched 16 innings and was just about as bad as he could be: 0-3 record with a 8.44 ERA. You could tell that something was wrong with him because over the past 8 years (despite being in his mid to upper 30's) he averaged a 3.05 ERA which is pretty damn good for any relief pitcher, let alone someone of his age.

Look at me talking about him like he's 90 and he fell in the driveway and broke his hip while walking to the mailbox one morning. 39 is not that old. It used to be when I was younger but in 6 weeks I'll be 30 and less than a decade away from being Hawkins' age. Of course though when I'm 39 he'll be 49 and that's old as shit. If Hawkins is still playing baseball when he's 49 then I will serious ask myself what the hell I did with my life because at 49 I'll be feeling so old I wont even be able to watch baseball without my body hurting. That's if things continue to go the way they currently are. I feel so much older than I actually am, but like everything else that has gone wrong in my life, I also blame the booze for this one as well.

And that's all that I really have to say about LaTroy Hawkins. I could throw some more old jokes out there but I used them all up talking about Gregg Zaun last year. Remember that guy? Hell of a signing that was. I'm all about signing veteran players because they have the experience that these young kids lack and they hopefully won't buckle under the pressure of a pennant chase and the big moments where they have to be clutch because the game or even the season is on the line. But I'm not all about giving them a two year contract worth $7 million dollars. That's a lot of doll hairs for what Hawkins gave us last year, so he has a lot of catching up to do if he will at least be able to come close to being worth that deal. Cousin Kevin and I came up with some very interesting things to say about and to LaTroy Hawkins if he happens to watch this video. For the safety and well being of myself and my family I hope that he does not watch it.

If you've been following along with this years "25 Brewers in 25 Days" then you might question why I love this team because all I do is make fun of every player on the team. But it's all out of love and I suppose that is just something that I do. Ask any of my friends or family and they will tell you that I make fun of them constantly. Maybe I'm just a dick and that's why no women find me attractive. I would change my life Ebenzer Scrooge-style but what's the fucking point anymore. No one cares about me like no one cares about LaTroy Hawkins. I bet there are some people out there rooting for me to fail so that they can get vengeance from me screwing them over and talking shit about them, just like I'm hoping the failure of Hawkins will prevent the Brewers from giving 2 year contracts to aging relievers in the future. If Hawkins weren't making so much money and if the Brewers weren't trying to recuperate something from the 2 year contract, he'd be cut long before he could put up this 2011 stat line:

1-4 record, 4.78 ERA, 53.2 innings, 39 strikeouts and be just as terrifying to watch as the Izey Bird in Cass Street Park.

I'm not looking forward to watching LaTroy Hawkins in 2011. He could defy my expectations and have a great year. But we do know that the as long as he is healthy the Brewers will keep running him out there until he is Jeff Suppan bad and they have no choice but to cut him and eat the remainder of his contract. But one player that I am excited to watch is Brewers closer John Axford. I feel like I've seen this guy before. Hard throwing righty. Battled control problems in the minors. Bounced around from team to team. Signed by the Brewers. Signature hair. Closer. Yeah I'm talking about Derrick Turnbow. The Brewers are putting a lot of faith in Axford that he doesn't turn out like Turnbow, but like all things only time will tell on this one. But like Turnbow before him I'm going to sit back and enjoy the ride because Axford is a guy that has a great personality and makes the games exciting. But does that make him a great pitcher on a playoff contending team? I'm not sure, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Kameron Loe (16 of 25)

Brewers pitcher Kameron Loe does draw comparisons to the Addams' Family butler Lurch. At 6'8" Loe is the tallest and most intimidating force in the bullpen. Lurch is pretty intimidating himself and most like will scare the bejesus out of representatives from the Church of Latter Day Saints when the come door to door looking to spread the good word and collect donations. Lurch would scare them Lutheran. When Loe stands on the mound he gains 10 inches, putting him at an impressive 7'6" of pitching dominance. It's not too hard to throw pitches on a downward plane from that height to induce ground balls, but you still need to have control to be able to locate your pitches effectively. Lurch was 6'9" tall and stands a full inch taller than Kameron Loe, but I doubt that he could strike out Aramis Ramirez. He could probably break him in half because Lurch was some kind of monster or some shit, but I don't think Major League baseball would allow a pitcher to rip people in half as a way of getting them out. That's the kind of plate appearance that would land you on the permanent DL.

So it takes more than just being tall to pitch a baseball, just like just being tall does not make you good at basketball. Sure it helps, but you also need to have talent and athletic skill. In 58 innings in 2010 Loe struck out 46 batters and walked 15. Now I'm no math whiz or anything, but that looks like a 3:1 ratio, which is pretty damn good if you ask me. And that doesn't take into effect the number of times that he got a hitter to ground out or hit into a double play. There is a stat for that somewhere because there is a stat for everything in major league baseball. If I wanted to find out Kameron Loe's ERA in Miller Park weekday day games when the temperature was below 65 degrees and the roof was closed and the circus was in town and the vending machine was out of Snickers bars that day and he showered that morning and he took the side streets to Miller Park instead of the freeway on days when he was wearing a black undershirt I could find that information out. But that's not why you come to a site like this. You come here because I say that Kameron Loe looks like Lurch from the Addams Family. Now that's some hardcore journalism and sports analysis that you won't get anywhere else. I promise you that.



Kameron Loe was part of the bullpen shakeup that took place in May that saw guys like Claudio Vargas get cut, LaTroy Hawkins go on the DL and guys like Mitch Stetter get sent to the minors. When Loe arrived with Axford and Braddock the bullpen started to take shape and everyone assumed their roles. Despite another year in which the bullpen was overworked due to short games by the starting pitchers, the bullpen was once again a strength of this team. And the guys that made it a strength are returning for another year.

Kameron Loe is very important to the bullpen because he will serve as one of the set up men to closer John Axford. Along with Takashi Saito and and the situational lefty Zach Braddock / Mitch Stetter (depending on which one makes the roster out of Spring Training) he will be bridging the gap from starter to closer and I for one am more than happy to have him there. You need a guy who is going to be able to pitch a couple of times a week and be effective when he does. Guys like that, the "workhorse" are tough to find. Todd Coffey was that man the last few years but unfortunately he was due to make more money in 2011. Since the majority of the budget is going to starting pitching and Prince Fielder, younger cheaper minor league players have to step up and take on that role for a fraction of the cost. It did help that Loe performed well last year so that we were comfortable letting Coffey go. But can he repeat in 2011? "I hope so" (with fingers crossed.)

With injuries to Greinke, Marcum and Parra the Brewers have only 3 healthy starters as it stands today. Greinke and Parra will open the season on the DL but Marcum looks to be good to go. But we do need to find a 5th starter before the season opens in 10 days. One named tossed into the hat was Kameron Loe because he has previously started games in both the majors and the minors. But manager Ron Roenicke instantly dismissed the idea because he believe Loe is too valuable as a relief pitcher. There is this saying that no pitcher wants to be a reliever, they just fell into that role because they couldn't cut it as a starter. Kameron Loe seems to have found his role as a shutdown reliever which is sometimes harder to find than a starter who can go 6 innings and have a 4 ERA. Just look at Manny Parra's performance as a starter vs. a reliever and you could have another case where someone just isn't cut out to start games at the major league level. Here's hoping that Kameron Loe continues to excel as a reliever and puts up numbers similar to this in 2011:

2-3 record, 3.16 ERA, 64 innings pitched, 52 strikeouts and he will answer the door at the Addams Family mansion when when friends and family like Cousin IT come to visit. Now if only Loe would play the Miller Park organ then I would know that he really was Lurch masquerading as a Major League pitcher.

We all hope that Kameron Loe has a 2011 season that is comparable to the 2010 one that he had. The same can't be said for veteran reliever LaTroy Hawkins. In the winter of '09 signing Hawkins to a 2 year contract was a bit of a head scratcher to me. And my worst fears came to life as Hawkins only pitched in 18 games in 2010 while sitting back and collecting a paycheck the other 144 games. He's supposedly healthy in 2011 after having shoulder surgery in August last year, but he has yet to appear in a Spring Training game in 2011. That doesn't matter because money talks, and his $3.25 million dollar salary in 2011 says that he needs to at least try to help us win games. How effective will this 39 year old be? Is he fully recovered from his injury? Does anyone even give a shit? Is the sasquatch just a blurry creature and there's nothing wrong with the cameras that have tried to capture his image? Will I answer all of these questions and more tomorrow? Are you even reading this crap anymore? Who knows, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Mark Kotsay (15 of 25)

I didn't have anything to say about Brewers back-up outfielder Mark Kotsay last night, so I went to sleep. I had night terrors like my brother Timmy does and I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. Even though I dreamnt up some really scary ass shit that I don't wish upon anymore, it still did not provide me with any material to put here today. Even though I woke up this morning and "got inspired" and my mind is now racing with ideas, I still cannot come up with something relevant to say about the Brewers new back-up player. I even put my shirt and pants on backwards Kris-Kross style then walked backwards so that I would be the one backing-up. But since my clothes were on backwards, it looked like I was walking forwards, so I have no way to connect with a backwards person. With the starting players I can go on for hours. That goes with the whole forward thinking aspect. I don't think in the past. That's improbable. I don't live in the past. That's intentional. And I also don't travel back to the past. That's impossible. I don't own or lease one of Doc Brown's DeLorean Time Travel machines. So unless my name is Dr. Sam Beckett and I take a quantum leap back into the past, I cannot backup in time. Sorry for wasting time that neither you nor I can go back and recover, but I felt like I needed to make you understand that I do not know much about the backups, but I know I love them. And that may be, all I need to to know.

So what do people do when they don't know something? I used to ask my Dad because he's pretty book smart. If he doesn't know then I ask my Mom because she's both booksmart and street smart. But since I'm no longer 12 years old and I know other people and have access to the internet, I use the Google on the internet machine that everyone except Chazz Michael Michaels knows how to do. And every time I Google an athlete that I need info / a picture on, I find a picture of their hot wife / girlfriend. And then I get upset and wonder what the hell am I doing wrong where I don't have a hot wife / girlfriend. Then I remember that I am not smart, not good looking, not physically fit, not rich, not professional and not an athlete. So basically I have no chance at all of landing a smoking hot wife / girlfriend. Or any wife / girlfriend for that matter. So I'm just going to get old and die alone because women don't like me. Makes a guy want to turn gay right? But I can't, not because there's anything wrong with being gay, but what's the point of being gay if even guys don't find me attractive. And then there's the small fact that I love women. So whereas Mark Kotsay gets to hit for the cycle with this fine piece of ass, I cozy up to the liquor bottle and cry myself to passing out.

If there was a fight between Zack Greinke's wife Emily and Mark Kotsay's wife Jamie not only would I watch it, but I would also root for Jamie. You saw a picture I put up of Mrs. Social Anxiety and just try to compare her to this fine specimine. To me it's no contest, but then again this may be one of those beauty is in the eye of the beerholder kind of things. Just like Oscar the Grouch lives in treasure that is another man's trash, what I like may not be the same as what other people like. But I do know that Mark Kotsay and I have 2 of the same likes in common - baseball and his wife. I don't know yet if I want to watch Mark Kotsay back-up Braun, Gomez and Hart in the outfield, but I already know that I would watch Jamie Kotsay back that thang up on anything or anyone, though I would say that I want it to be me rather than Mark. But some guys have all the luck and get all of the rewards that come with hitting the jackpot. Although I'm not a winner, at least I still have my health, right? Well not really. But at least I still have my sense of humor!



They say that girls love a guy with a sense of humor, but it's obvious from this video that I have a lot of other issues going on in my life right now that I should probably deal with before worrying about all the issues of being in a relationship. But Mark Kotsay doesn't have to worry about much. He'll be lucky to start 1 game a week in one of the 3 outfield spots (though he might be in the lineup on Opening Day if Corey Hart opens the season on the DL) so he doesn't need to worry about defense and 4 at bats per game. He does need to be ready to pinch hit, but because he is also a lefty like Craig Counsell, he will be called on in pinch hitting situations to drive in runs instead of getting on base. He has more more power than Counsell, but that's not saying much because babies have more power than Counsell.

But he is comparable to Counsell in the fact that he too brings veteran leadership and postseason experience to what is still a relatively young team. Yeah I know that the majority of the homegrown Brewers talent is now in their prime in their late 20's, but from an experience point they are still young. 1 postseason appearance in 5 years? And only 1 win during that series? That ain't shit. And that's coming from a guy who has no experience at all. The 2011 season will be the most difficult season thus far thanks to the preseason injuries and expectations. They will need some quality clubhouse "glue" players to keep them focused and level headed during all of the ups and downs of the season. They've suffered through too many injuries already this spring and you haven't seen anyone panic. A lot of that has to do with it only being March, but I'd like to think that veteran players like Counsell and Kotsay are already helping to calm the team down. And I'll be calm if he puts together a season like this:

.263 AVG, .330 OBP, 5 HRs, 33 RBIs and his wife will get creepy oogled by me on the club level when she sits up there with the other player's wives. I can't help it. I'm lonely.

And speaking of creepy, the next player is only creepy because he's big and scary looking like Lurch on the Addams Family. Lurch answers the door when someone comes calling at the house. Relief pitcher Kameron Loe answers the call to come into the game when manager Ron Roenicke makes the U.S. Cellular call to the bullpen. The Addams Family does not have a lot of guests at their house because they are a bunch of weirdos, but Kameron Loe will see a lot of playing time because he is the new Todd Coffey and will be the go-to guy when the Brewers need to get a ground ball out or a double play. In 2010 he was second in appearances only to the previously mentioned Coffey and will be counted upon to lead the team in 2011 now that the hot Coffey is served sprinting out of the Washington Nationals bullpen. Loe had a fantastic 2010, but will his ERA get low, get low, get low again in 2011? I see no reason why it can't, but that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Craig Counsell (14 of 25)

Brewers infielder Craig Counsell is extremely important to the team in 2011, much like he has been in the past few seasons. His presence on and off the field is invaluable to a team that is looking to make a push for the division title and a playoff appearance. Every team needs veteran leadership and Counsell is the man for the job. His versatility in the infield allows him to play 2nd or 3rd base when Rickie Weeks and Casey McGegehee need to take a day off. Since that's only going to happen a total of like 10 times between the two of them, Counsell's ability to also play shortstop is what is going to get him in the lineup the most. Much has been said of Yuniesky Betancourt's defensive woes, and unless he does a 180 and figures out how to not be terrible with the glove, Counsell will be the semi regular shortstop on this team. I know that Counsell doesn't want to play every day. That's not to say that he doesn't have the tools and talent or the desire to play, but it's an indication that he knows what his role on this team is. He's the back-up infielder and pinch hitter off of the bench. If he's in the starting lineup 4 days a week that means that one of the everyday players is out of the lineup due to injury or ineffectiveness. And Counsell has been around the block long enough to know that Casey McGehee, Rickie Weeks and yes, even Yuniesky Betancourt are better everyday options than he is.

And that doesn't mean that Counsell can't still play or that he is not capable of producing when he is on the field. But let's face it, he's 40 years old and he's not getting any younger. And even though he's in pretty damn good shape, that doesn't stop the fact that old just catches up with you. I'm not one to talk though because I know that he's in a hell of a lot better shape than I am, but then again who isn't? Fuck, I think the Michelin Man is in better shape that I am. I struggle for 2 minutes and wince when I am getting up off the couch. I have to stop and take a breather on the way to the kitchen to grab myself another rum punch. Thank God I live on the 1st floor in my apartment building or else I would never make it home at night. I'd just sleep in the lobby. I'm so fat that I got on the scale and it said one at a time please! I tell ya, when I go to the beach people feel sorry for me and try to roll me back into the water. And when I do get into the water fishing boats surround me and the sea captain yells out "Thar she blows!" and they start shooting harpoons at me. Damn it! I'm doing it again! This isn't "25 pathetic things about Scott in 25 days" this is "25 Brewers in 25 Days" so I'll stop talking about me and continue talking about Craig Counsell. Because that's because you came here today, right? I know that you did, and I also know that you want to read about Craig Counsell. Because everyone does. Everybody loves Craig, for more reasons than we can ever come up with.

I already mentioned his versatility, veteran leadership but let's take a second to talk about his offense. Never known for being a big slugger (41 career homeruns in 14 seasons), his contribution to the offense is getting on base. He's a patient batter in a lineup filled with free swingers, which is why he's a perfect pinch hitter late in the game when the Brewers need a run to tie the game or take the lead. If there is one thing that Counsell does it's get on base via the walk or one of his signature clutch hits. There's a reason we call him C3 (Craig "Clutch" Counsell) because when the game is on the line and we need a baserunner, there's no one I'd rather have at the plate. Craig Counsell will get the job done. That's not to say that he doesn't hit an occasional homerun though. Cousin Kevin and I were in Washington D.C. at Nationals Ballpark when the Brewers dropped a 10 spot on the Nationals in the 1st inning of the game on April 18, 2010. In his 2nd at bat of the inning with the bases loaded and 1 out, the mighty Craig Counsell put one over the rightfield wall for his 3rd career Grand Slam that added the final 4 runs in that 10 run first inning.

There are many reasons to love Craig Counsell, but in my opinion the biggest reason is that he is one of us. True, he was born in South Bend, Indiana but his family moved to Whitefish Bay at an early age and attended High School there while his dad worked for the Milwaukee Brewers. He grew up playing baseball and watching the Brewers. Hey, I did that too! Craig Counsell is just like me! Since we're now family, I went to his hometown, the Village of Whitefish Bay to talk about my brother and how much he means to the Reck (especially my brother James) and Brewers families.



Look for Craig Counsell to help out immensely during the stretch run in the dog days of September as he plays almost every day because pitching and defense wins games. Hopefully by then our pitching staff will be 100% and helping to make that push seeing as they had the entire season under their belts and save the best for last, just like they did last September when it was too little too late and we had fallen out of contention. Counsell may not have the power of a Prince Fielder, the athleticism of Ryan Braun or the speed of Rickie Weeks, but his heart, effort and attitude put him as my 3rd favorite Brewers player behind Weeks and Fielder. While Counsell will contribute in too many ways to mention, only these stats that will show up in the box score:

.270 AVG, .337 OPB, 2 HRs, 34 RBIs and the pride of Whitefish Bay, Milwaukee and the entire state of Wisconsin, even though they haven't come up with a stat for that yet.

While I do know a good amount about Craig Counsell because 2011 will be his 6th year with the Brewers, I know nothing about the other veteran back-up Mark Kotsay. But just because I don't know anything about him doesn't mean that I don't like him. If there is one thing that I have learned over the years watching the Brewers it's that you need quality back-up players. Whether you like it or not, a player needs to take a couple of days off or spends a little time on the DL. It's very rare that you see a player play 162 games a year like Prince Fielder did in 2009. Sometimes guys just need a day off for a mental break or to rest a sore body part. That is where Mark Kotsay steps in. Like Craig Counsell, you are confident that could play every day but you don't want him too because that means one of our outfielders is down for a long amount of time. But given our outfield depth/versatility in both the minor and major leagues, I don't see Kotsay getting as much playing time as Counsell. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Chris Narveson (13 of 25)

Brewers starter Chris Narveson was pretty good last year as the #5 starter as long as you take away the 1st inning. But you can't take the 1st inning out of his stats much like you can't take this headache out my head that was the result of a long night of drinking. You have to take the good with the bad when evaluating something overall. The problem with Narveson was that he almost never escaped the 1st inning without allowing a couple of runs, which often put his team in a hole that was difficult for them to dig out of. I can handle 1 or 2 runs, but when you give up a Gentleman's 2 runs (which on paper equates to at least 4 runs) then I have a problem. Here's hoping that he corrects that problem because outside of that he's a pretty solid back of the rotation pitcher. But one of the good things about his 1st inning struggles is that he gives the fans more time to hang out in the parking lot tailgaiting before the game. I like to try to get in by the start of the game (although that rarely happens when I'm drinking) but on games that Narveson is starting I know that I can wait until the bottom of the 1st inning because no one wants to see their starter get hit around in the opening frame of the game. Yeah man! No one wants to see that shit! So come on Narv-dog, figure that shit out so the offense doesn't have to bail you out big time every game.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day and I stayed out until bar close with my best buddy Mike Bates. I got about 3 hours of sleep and I have to work at 9:30am, which is in about an hour as I am writing this. So I don't really fucking feel like saying anything else about Narveson that you already know. He's a #5 starter. There's nothing really special about him or else he's have a higher slot in the rotation. But every team needs one, and if our starting 4 get healthy (which is a frustrating thing to think about now that Marcum tweaked his shoulder and Greinke as mentioned will already miss the start of the season) he is a nice compliment to the pitching staff every 5 days. I knew going into this that I would have nothing to say about Chris Narveson, which is why I filmed the video that you are about to watch. Suffice to say I could have just posted this video and not typed a damn word here. In my opinion it's that good.

So there you go. I know that you wonder about me sometimes. Once I get the rum in me strange things happen. But if that rum gives me to idea to wave a pirate flag and talk like a pirate then so be it. If that is the consequence for drinking then I'll be a jolly fellow and suffer those consequences every single time. And speaking of suffering, I refuse to suffer through a 1st inning blowup by Chris Narveson this year. If it is my choice (say when I go to the game as a fan instead of being there as an employee) I will chose to enter the game in the bottom of the 1st inning so I don't have to witness Narveson's first inning problems. But one thing that I can't chose is this stat line (which doesn't make any sense because it is my prediction and I am the only one who is choosing this shit. Leave me alone I'm tired and I'm pissed off I have to work today. I just want to fucking sleep all day):

10-13 record, 4.85 ERA, 174 innings pitched, 133 strikeouts and once again he will hear his name shouted Pirate style from the left field bleachers by yours truly. NAAAAAARRRRVESSSSSSON!

I don't really give a shit about Chris Narveson. No offense man. I'm sure that he's a hell of a guy in real life but he's one of the minor pieces of this puzzle and he's not vital to our success this year. One could make that same argument about the next player on the 25 man roster, the one and only Craig Counsell. But I would argue that he's extremely important to our success in 2011, so that is an argument worth having. Aside from improving the pitching staff I said that the next most important thing was resigning Craig Counsell. Either Doug Melvin was listening to me (at Miller Park I do work at the sections right in front of his suite on the Club Level so who knows) or he understands the role Counsell plays on this team. Every team needs a savvy veteran with post-season and World Series experience, and Counsell is able to bring that to the table. When we get back to the playoffs this year he will then play a pivotal role in most people's eyes, but I think that he has already started doing that in Spring Training. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Randy Wolf (12 of 25)

There's not a whole lot that I can say about Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Randy Wolf, so once again get ready for a novel chronicling his up and down 2010 season and his future as a member of the starting rotation. One had every right to worry that Wolf was the second coming of Jeff Suppan, or maybe even Suppan put on a wolf mask and "played Wolf" if you will. His 3 year contract at a little over $9 million a season was looking really bad in the first half of the season. How bad? Just about as bad as Wolf's t-shirt in this picture. Seriously, where the hell did he pick that shit up? I hope he didn't get it at Spencer's Gifts at the mall because that would make me put him in the same category as a preteen that thinks beer is a laughing matter. He probably bought it then hung out at the food court with his buddies, eating an Auntie Annie's pretzel and drinking an Orange Julius while waiting for his Mom to come pick him up. You might be assuming that I was talking about Wolf when he was 13 years old and this shirt still fits him as an adult because he is in excellent physical shape. Nope. This happened last fall when the 34 year was back home during the offseason. He's still getting rides from his mother and he's not allowed to stay out past 9pm on a school night. I remember watching him awkwardly interacting with girls when I chaperoned his 8th grade dance last year. I wanted to be the wise mentor and give him some pointers, but it was too much fun watching him trying to figure out where to put his hands on the girls during the slow dances. Eventually he figured it out, but every time she winced when he stepped on her toes Pat Finley and I had a good belly chuckle.

Randy Wolf was signed to be the veteran presence that would eat innings and provide stability in the rotation. Where have we heard that before? Oh yeah, we heard it about every single veteran pitcher that we have ever signed. And for the most part, none of them have worked out. And although Wolf struggled mightily during the middle parts of the season he rebounded quite nicely and finished with a 4.13 ERA and 215 innings pitched. Sure it's not nearly as nice as the 3.23 ERA that he had in 2009 with the Los Angeles Dodgers, but then again Miller Park is hardly the pitcher's park that Dodger Stadium is. It's not even close, but you can expect that ERA to climb a little bit when he pitches the majority of his games in a hitter friendly ballpark which Miller Park is known to be. Your expectations of Randy Wolf in 2010 shouldn't have been very high. If they were then you were kidding yourself and you probably did the same thing with Jeff Suppan.

And that's why you hate yourself and you cry in your bed alone at night. It's not Wolf and Suppan's fault that your wife/girlfriend left you, it's yours. If you are pointing figures, point it at the man in the mirror and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson. Michael's not into you even though you think that you are hot. Are you a 9 year old boy? If you are you definitely shouldn't be reading this shit. Go to school or go to bed you little bastard. And why are we even worried about Michael Jackson? That dude is dead. I don't care if he came back as a Zombie in the Thriller music video. That was a work of fiction and it is not real, despite how real director John Landis made it look. But why the hell are we talking about that? Because it's 7:49 AM on St. Patrick's Day and I've already started drinking despite the fact that I have to go to work today? Nope, despite that it is the truth. No I did it because John Landis has a connection with Wolves, which is somehow a way to connect that last derailment with Wolves of the Randy persuasion.

Landis directed the fantastic 1981 horror / comedy flick "An American Werewolf in London" which is one of the quintessential 80's classics. But once again, what the hell does that have to do with Randy Wolf? His followers have been known as the Wolfpack and I suppose that I would call myself a member of that pack. Kevin and I wanted to don wolf masks and howl whenever he struck out an opposing batter, but the sombrero thing ultimately won out. We could have done both, but sometimes it's just not right to look like a hot mess of randomness. If I happen to find a cheap wolf mask at Bartz's or some other costume store I will think about picking one up and wearing it in the leftfield bleachers on the days when Wolf is starting. I know that Kevin will join me but I doubt that it will catch on despite the fact that he had wolfpack members when he pitched for Philadelphia. Now the sombrero on the other hand, is an item that will sweep through the Miller Park leftfield bleachers before rapidly consuming every man, woman and child in this world. They can try to fight it but in the end it will be futile to resist.

My wolfpack changes from time to time as members of it grow up and start wolfpacks of their own. I used to consider Aaron and Mike as members of said wolfpack but their have branched out and married women and created babies to strengthen their numbers in the fight against all other rivals that threaten our existence. So where my wolfpack used to be greater it stands now at 4. I know that cousin Kevin is by my side and Timmy and Colleen will run with me if they are not out running errands. But for this video I asked my friend Aaron to join me in discussing Randy Wolf because his opinion on the Brewers #3/4 starter is a hell of a lot different than mine is. Let's just say that he likes Randy Wolf just about as much as I like sobriety.



I will let everybody have a say on topics like this which is why I encourage all of you to sit down with me and discuss the 25 players on the Brewers Opening Day roster. It's obvious by my love for the Brewers that I am a total homer and I overvalue all of our players, leading to some ridiculous predictions for the 2011 season. Sometimes reality has to step in the form of a friend who doesn't think as highly as I do. Aaron for one doesn't care for Randy Wolf and thinks that he will only win 6 games this year. He's going to at least double that because now he is pitching in the spot of the rotation where he should have pitched last year but couldn't because of the lack of talent in front of him. Randy Wolf is not a #2 pitcher, despite the fact that he pitched in that spot in the 2010 rotation. With the acquisition of Greinke and Marcum he can be dropped down to where he belongs at #4 although he might pitch in the #3 spot if manager Ron Roenicke wants to split up his lefties (with the other lefthander being Chris Narveson).

No matter if he is the #3 or #4 starter (with Greinke missing the first few weeks of the season Wolf will start the 3rd and final game in the series against the Cincinnati Reds) Wolf will have a solid year. I'm not looking for him to set the world on fire but I am asking him to be consistent and basically be a .500 starter. Because that is all that we need him to be and in essence that is the reason why we signed him in the first place. So it will be no big shocker to me when he puts up these kind of stats in 2011:

4.11 ERA, 11-10 record, 207 innings pitched, 149 strikeouts, best Brewers player of the late 90's/early 2000's, 3 time NFL MVP, Superbowl Champion and future Hall of Famer. Like the Blessed Holy Trinity of Christianity, Randy Wolf is Three people in one.

Randy Wolf may have been bumped down to where he belongs in the starting rotation with the additions of Greinke and Marcum, but Chris Narveson is back where he has been and should be - the #5 staaaaaartaaarrr. I like Narveson a lot because if you say it like a pirate would you would emphasize the arrrrr and growl a lot when you say it. Which is exactly like I did when I made the video talking about him. Hopefully you have enjoyed the videos that I have made thus far, but I guarantee you it doesn't get any better than the one about Chris Narveson. After many rum punches I thought it would be a good idea to commandeer a playground structure and waive a pirate flag. And it really was a great idea. You're gonna love my video about Narveson, but you have to come back tomorrow to check that shit out. I wish that I could talk like a pirate every day and be accepted by my peers, But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 - 25 in 25 - Shaun Marcum (11 of 25)

I'm going to try and decrease the amount of content because now is about the time in this series when the articles should be getting shorter. And for all parties involved this is a good thing. Trust me, I'm as tired of writing them as you are tired of reading them. So why continue? Because there are 25 men on the Opening Day roster (not 11) and rehab is for quitters. But it takes too much time to write these. That's time that I could be out at the bars picking up drunk chicks, dumpster diving for used textbooks, coming up with conspiracy theories about why George Lucas changed it so that Greedo shot first and sending out a police search unit to look for Sinbad's career. After all, he was so awesome in Houseguest. But talking Brewers baseball is more important that any of that shit, so I must continue.

So for now I will concentrate on new Brewers pitcher Shaun Marcum, who was acquired in a trade from the Toronto Blue Jays for minor league 2nd base prospect (and former 1st round pick) Brett Lawrie. It is no secret that the Brewers have been able to draft and develop offensive players. Take for example - Fielder, Weeks, Braun, Hart, Lucroy, Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain and the man who wins games Bill Hall. Here are the pitchers they've drafted and developed - Yovani Gallardo, Manny Parra and Mitch Stetter. Quite a difference, eh? So when your strength is offense and you need pitching, the easiest way to do that is to flip the offense for pitching in a trade. Most people (including me) thought that Prince Fielder would be the one to go, so when Lawrie was traded for Marcum straight up I knew two things instantly - the Brewers were confident that they could sign Rickie Weeks to a contract extension and they were keeping Prince Fielder in 2011. And that is exactly what happened.

In my opinion the Shaun Marcum trade was the steal of the offseason. And one that flew too far under the radar. I really didn't care for Brett Lawrie in the first place, so I gladly said goodbye to him. Marcum had pitched the last 5 years (although he did miss the 2009 season recovering from Tommy John surgery) with the Toronto Blue Jays in the AL East, meaning that he was going up against offensive powerhouse teams like the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays on a regular basis. And in the last few years he posted a spectacular ERA considering the talent he was facing: 2007 - 4.13, 2008 - 3.39 and 2010 - 3.64. If he can put up those numbers in the AL East he's going to have a field day in the NL Central. I don't normally like to sell teams short, but you can't tell me that the NL Central teams Houston Astros, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Cardinals and Cincinnati Reds compare with the previously mentioned AL East teams (including the Baltimore Orioles). The AL East is just a better division, and nothing says it better than the fact that the Toronto Blue Jays finished with a 85-77 record and finished 4th, 4TH MIND YOU, in the division. Tampa Bay (96-66) finished 1st, New York (95-67) was 2nd, Boston (89-73) was 3rd and Baltimore cried alone in the basement with a 66-96 record.

There is no reason to believe that he won't continue the trend of pitching with a sub-4 ERA this year, and it should improve because the NL Central has more teams (and more weaker teams at that) and he's facing a pitcher in the lineup instead of a DH. Granted more pitchers are starting to hit better (and the Brewers pitching staff is a good example of that) so you can't totally count them out, but you just can't compare one of the best hitting pitchers like Yovani Gallardo and his .254 batting average, 4 HRS, 10 RBIs to the best DH Vladimir Guerrero and his .300 AVG, 29 HRs and 115 RBIs. Granted that's a bit of a stretch, but even the worst DH is a better hitter than the best pitcher. So look for his numbers to improve in the National League.

When Timmy and I got our picture taken with him at the Brewers on Deck event in January, he asked us what was with the Sombreros. I refused to explain why we were wearing them and just told him that it was our thing. And then I teased and told him to look for us in the left field bleachers. I already mentioned that I wear a sombrero because I have pride in my new native land of Mexico, but other people in our gang wear it because the Sombrero is the symbol of the Revolution. And since Marcum is new to Milwaukee, he's on a need to know basis, and right now he doesn't need to know. But if all goes according to plan, there will be so many sombreros in the left field bleachers by season's end that he will not be able to ignore it. No one will be able to avoid the Revolution. Since I still don't know too much about Marcum except for what I think he will do in the NL Central, the Back Alley Burners decided to sing a song about him instead of swearing a lot and making a lot of noise in a public space.



The Shaun Marcum trade was overshadowed by the Greinke deal that went down 2 weeks later, but I would almost go so far as to say Marcum would have the better year. Greinke is the more talented pitcher, but with Marcum slotted in the #3 spot or possibly even the #4 if Roenicke decides to split up the lefties he will be facing weaker competition which will allow him to win more games. I already said Greinke would win 14 games with a 3.13 ERA, so I can't really can't say that honestly. But I can say that Marcum will put up a stat line similar to this:

15-10, 3.42 ERA, 161 strikeouts, 191 innings pitched and be the solid pitcher in the middle of the rotation that we always wished Dave Bush would be.

The best part about bringing in Greinke and Marcum is that it improves our biggest weakness from the last two years - our starting pitching. But the fallout from getting those 2 top of the rotation pitchers is that it bumps everyone else down to where they belong. You know how I feel about Gallardo as the future ace, but right now he's really just a #2, which is where he will pitch in 2011 behind Greinke. And last year the biggest mistake was having Randy Wolf pitch in the #2 spot. He's a #3 on a bad team and a #4 on a good team, which is exactly where he should be this year. Roenicke has said that he didn't want the lefties Wolf and Narveson to pitch back to back against the same team, so he might actually be the #3 starter but at the very least he's down towards the bottom of the rotation where he belongs. Some people still aren't sold on Randy Wolf and it will take a solid 2o11 from him to assure the fans that he's not the 2nd coming of Jeff Suppan. But that my friends, is a topic that will be covered tomorrow. Roll out the Barrel! We'll have a Barrel of Fun!

- pookon -

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