Being all alone can be great sometimes but most of the time it's the loneliest feeling in the entire world. Whether you are out on the edge of a rock ledge or the only person in the gym at 11pm on a Monday night the feeling is the same. Right now you're probably saying that there is no comparison because there is no inherent sense of danger in falling to your death at the gym. Obviously then you're not a big man on a treadmill with shortness of breath. If I fall over and clutch my chest, who will be there to rescue me? I'm hoping for Jesus or my guardian angel but honestly I don't think it will ever come to that point. Sure, my chest muscles do hurt when I breathe but that's normal (at least I hope) because I'm working on muscles that I don't normally use. I'm hoping that with repeat visits the pain will be more manageable and it will feel a hell of a lot better than it does now. I can't stand to have pain every time I breathe because I kind of have to do that 25,000 times a day. And although I haven't tried it for longer than a minute when I go underwater or have the hiccups, I hear it's a bad thing not to do it. I'm not about to try it now because I have found a reason to be alive.
I don't know what that is per se, I haven't had any kind of spiritual revelation and I don't know the meaning of life. But if I had to wager a guess I would have to say that it is 42. So although I can't give you any answers I have found the need and the desire to search for them even if I don't know that I am doing it. Sounds so vague, I know. That's because I don't really understand it all yet. Today is technically the last day of this week's "7 in 7" challenge and I am eagerly anticipating what lies ahead and what new things I will try. This is such an adventure to live and think outside of my comfort zone that the possibilities are endless. And the best part of it is that the adventure carries on to the next week and becomes the Neverending Story. Well, except for rock biters, the child-like empress and Falkor. But damn I wish I had a Falkor. How sweet would my morning commute be? If anyone was in my way he would open his mouth and eyes and go "AHHHHHHHHHH!!" and make them run and jump into a dumpster. Plus I would get there in like 2 minutes and on my lunch break I could check out the Grand Canyon or spook people walking along the Great Wall of China. When I would be up on Falkor all my problems would go away and I would be free to feel the cool air on my face and hear the jumbo jets buzz by my ears. But then once Falkor got all tuckered out and had to land my troubles would be right down there waiting for me. So you can't fly into the sky on a hybrid dragon/dog beast and avoid them. Sometimes you just have to face them head on and make a concentrated effort to solve them.
I'm proud of myself for making an effort to change my life but I also must hold myself accountable for falling short of my goal. Today is the 7th and final day of this week's challenge to work out every day and as of tonight I only made it to the gym 3 times this week. I really dropped the ball over the weekend but I feel like in the long run I will have succeed. That's because I have taken the fear out of working out and removed any self-conscious doubts that I might have had. I have no problem working out and I will continue to go 3-4 times a week. Also this week I have made an effort to drink less alcohol and soda and instead drink the suggested 8 glasses of water per day. On top of that I am trying to limit the amount of snacks and sweets that I eat so that I have a more balanced diet. I know it's only been a week but already I feel better because of it. I didn't expect to see big results but I needed to at least see or feel something to convince myself that this was a good idea. As long as I continue this good habit then it will never be a failure.
You can't properly measure the impact of this life changing quest I'm on right now until time has passed but so far a week after limiting my TV and movie watching I definitely have been writing more. The proof is on paper. Or the internet in this case. My creative juices are flowing more than ever and they aren't even fueled by alcohol. That's been one of the greatest things so far. I liked to use alcohol to loosen up so that I could free write and be random but it turns out that I don't need that kind of nonsense. I came up with that whole Falkor bit on my own. No help from Ron Rico or Jim Beam, even though those two guys have been known to pitch in every now and then unless I need someone to help me carry a couch up 3 flights of stairs. But for the time being I don't need those lazy sons a bitches because I'm doing all of this on my own and I'm doing it for me. The gym isn't scary and working out isn't hard. You just have to make a commitment and stick to it. Even if you miss a few days. After all I never claimed to be perfect. But I won't let myself down. That's a promise.
So these last 2 adventures will carry on as I move forward, but what will be the next challenge that I take on? Wouldn't you like to know. Looks like you'll just have to keep coming back for more until your appetite is stifled. But make sure not to overindulge because the key to life is moderation. Going to the gym and working out every day for 7 days is certainly possible but is it the right thing to do? Maybe that works for you but I know that I need a day in between to recover so that I don't burn myself out and give up. I almost did that which is why I allowed myself to make mistakes and tailor this idea to suit me. In the past if I had to choose going every day versus not at all I picked not at all. Like it or not 50% is better than 0%. So I'm trying man. And I'm going to keep on trying something every week in an attempt to live every day instead of dying a little bit everyday. It's about time that I started living. And I feel more alive than ever.
- pookon -
http://www.pookon.com/
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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