It's not too often that someone would say that. In fact I doubt that anyone has ever said it and meant it. Who would want to look like Jonah Hill? I'd like to have his money and his humor (though I am doing just fine on my own with those two things) but until recently I didn't want to be him even though everyone already thought that I was. In every comment section where the Last Cup trailer played or when a review of the documentary was posted there was always at least one Jonah Hill comment. And who could blame them, right? Look at the picture on the left and say that it isn't me. I personally know that it isn't although I have grown my hair out like that and often wear a blue shirt. There were other pictures that show Jonah Hill when he was fat like me but I had to use this one because in this picture he is a spitting image of me. The likeness is uncanny and kind of creeps me out because it's like having a twin brother or a clone. But if you have been paying attention to celebrity fodder (and I know that you have because our country is obsessed with celebrity) then you would know that within the last year Jonah Hill got all skinny on me and he is no longer getting confused for me and vice versa. Something has to be done about this because everyone needs a look-alike in case of danger. You never know when a decoy can come in handy. Hell it saved Queen Amidala's life in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. And if I try to look like Jonah Hill again it might just save mine.
Jonah Hill lost a ton of weight. I can't really put a number on it but just look at pictures and you can tell. Especially because now he looks all funny and shit with a weird big head and Will Smith Dumbo ears. But aside from that he's looking pretty svelte and I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a little jealous. People make it look so easy to lose weight but I suppose it isn't that hard when you have access to a personal trainer and nutritionist, not to mention access to all the best equipment and facilities. But he still had to put in the hard work that it takes to get yourself in shape. I can't say that I will ever look like Jonah Hill again unless he puts back on the weight but I certainly am going to try to lose some of mine so that I can live a healthier life. It's going to be a lot of hard work because I lead a pretty damn unhealthy lifestyle and what I am attempting to do this week is a complete and total life change from what I am used to. I plan on working out every day for the next 7 days while also changing my eating habits as an attempt to shock my body into accepting something new and be open to the possibility of change. This might not be the best way to do it especially because I talked about the effects and benefits of doing things in moderation. But I need to get into a routine and this is something that it is really important to me because I can no longer function in my day to day life at my present state. Putting on my shoes or walking 4 blocks has become so much more difficult than it should be. I can't handle this anymore and I'm hoping to learn a lesson by the end of the week. At the very least I hope to get at least a little bit used to putting my body through the rigors of a workout so that I am more likely to continue it when the week is over.
So that's basically it. I worked out tonight for a little over an hour and it was the first time in a little under a year that I did. I was working out a few times a week back before Timmy died and then everything kind of got mixed together. I was less worried about my physical health and more worried about my emotional stability. So I sat around and ate food and didn't get out much. I put on weight. I'm not going to pull any punches here on this blog during these adventures and I certainly won't bullshit you. The last time that I remember weighing myself I was around 370 pounds. Today I topped out at 400. That's fucking sad. I've always been a big guy (I can partly blame genetics but I mostly blame myself) but I never intended to be this big. That number is way too high and I will do everything in my power to lower it. Normally I would keep something like this confidential because it is a very sensitive subject for me but once it's out in the public I can't hide behind it anymore. A lifelong's worth of ridicule and fat jokes has left me to hide my shame. The only reason that I'm throwing a number out there is so that I might somehow be able to track the results from Day 1 to Day 7 and see if there is any positive proof of why I should continue to do this. In my mind I understand it but as I have learned during Week 1 is that my ideas are no good if they are kept bottled in my mind and I have to let them out in order to satisfy my need to create.
And this is just really another chance to see if I can not only survive a week's worth of turmoil on my body but also to see if I can complete the challenge. I am notoriously bad at seeing things through so this "7 in 7" series is also meant to address that as well. So many things are happening at once that I am constantly learning and applying myself. So who knows. The only thing that I know is that I probably won't be doing a daily blog entry because that's not the point of this week's challenge. But as always if I do have something to say I will make sure to put it here. Chances are I will be too tired to lift my fingers to type but then again I may have developed super strength by then. This is going to be bad. In that good sort of way. Like making out with a chick with tattoos and piercings. I feel like I'm badass by association. Living life a little dangerously and taking a walk on the wild side if you will. And hopefully when this quest is finished I'll be hot enough to get any chick, not just the ones that dig me for my tattoos and money. Yeah, because I have so much of both that it's a staggering and alarming number that freaks the hell out of people. And now I'm just wasting time when I should be sleeping. It's now 3:00am, or the middle of the freakin' night for the lay person. I don't know why I stay up all night but it must be that adrenaline thing that athletes talk about. I don't want to go to sleep because I have a feeling that my body is going to really hate me in the morning. So much more than usual. I guess we'll just have to find out. One thing for sure is that this is the beginning of a very long week.
- pookon -
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
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